Feedback: Please, this story needs all the help it can get.
Takes place five years from now.
Spoiler Warning: Through Season Six
Disclaimer: Its all ME and Joss. I do not have any copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights belong with the production company, writers etc, etc.
Rating: PG for now
Couples: Eventually W/T again
Notes: It feels like it is taking forever to set the scene. I hope it is making some sense.

"Hey Buff, it's me. Could you give me call as soon as you get in. I will be home waiting for your call. It is really important." Dawn hung up the phone and began pacing back and forth. She looked at her watch again. 8:00 PM. That made it 5:00 PM back in Sunnydale. Buffy was going to have classes for the next four hours. So she was going to have plenty of time to explain what she had discovered.

Four more hours to pace back and forth. How was she going to explain? She could just come straight out with her discovery. Or she could wait. She could just stress that Buffy needed to come as soon as possible. That would give her time to confirm things. It would be tough for Buffy to take time off from her classes. She was teaching self-defense classes and although her business was doing well, she only had one part time instructor to fill in for her. It would be stressful financially but it was important. For the first time in years, beyond the anger and regret, there was a trace of hope in her life. A chance that she and her family would finally get the answers that they needed before they could completely heal. Things had been wrong for so long.

Dawn had had a tough adolescence to say the least. She first found out that she was some mystical key. She still hadn't quite grasped that concept when her mother died suddenly. With in a week of her mother's death, Tara had her mind sucked by Glory. She was protecting Dawn. Then Willow used magic to get Tara back but Buffy died. Then Buffy was resurrected but she came back sad and depressed. Nothing ever turned out easily. There was always a "but" to follow good news in her life. When it seemed as if nothing else could happen, something did. Willow cast a spell on Tara and as result, they broke up. Things just got worse and worse. Tara moved out. The house lost the calm sense of stability that Tara had given. Just when it seemed that Tara and Willow were getting back together, Xander walked out of his wedding to Anya. And then one day, Tara also disappeared.

How could Tara just disappear. She had promised that no matter what happened between her and Willow, she would always be there for Dawn. And she kept that promise for four months and then she just disappeared. She and Willow were dating again and things were good. And then, she was gone. Dawn imagined that Tara would be amazed to see how her absence shook the family. Willow had searched every data place that she could find but she was never able to find her. She walked the streets. Buffy went on a demon rampage, threatened and tortured every vampire she could find but learned nothing about her missing friend. Anya passed out fliers at the Magic shop with ever sale she made. She even put up a reward for any news on Tara. Giles checked with all his council contacts but found nothing.

Tara was gone without a trace. Eventually, they got permission to pack the belongings that had been left in her dorm room. They were stowed away under the stairs of the basement. Keeping the boxes, keeping her things just made Dawn feel as if there was a chance that she would come back. But come back from where?

The thing about life is that it just continues, even when you are hurting. And that is what happened with there lives. Buffy continued slaying and started teaching self defense out of the Magic Box. Willow finished college. Xander got his contractors license and started working by himself doing small scale home renovations. And Anya continued to work at the Magic Box. She actually developed other friends and started dating other people Dawn graduated from high school and spent a year at Sunnydale before she decided to transfer. She didn't care where she went as long as it was far from the Hellmouth. She thought Buffy would not want her to leave. Instead, she basically pushed her out the door. Buffy wanted to give her a chance to live peacefully and so she transferred to a small private college in Pennsylvania. It was so different from Sunnydale. The mountains and the lush hills were paradise. She was able to just start over

Willow buried herself in her job. She worked as a computer consultant. It was a good job for her. She would be assigned a company that had computer problem, bury herself in the problem, solve it and move on. She traveled all across the country and would stay anywhere from a couple of nights to six months. Sunnydale was her headquarters. She still had a room at the Summer's house. Her traveling allowed her to stay isolated. In the companies where she worked, she remained professional and distant. She did her job and left. She remained close to Buffy, Dawn, Xander and Anya but did not meet anyone new. Currently, she was working in Orlando.

Her family moved on but they never forgot that they were incomplete. And now, Dawn believed that she had found her. She had been attending the Gay/Bi-Lesbian Alliance Meeting on campus. She had begun attending these meetings as a way to remember Tara and Willow. She had seen the trouble that they went through trying to get Tara stuff from the University. Willow had enough evidence that they were partners but the university still hassled them. She had witnessed them be yelled at on the street for holding hands. She had felt the subtle discrimination for just being a part of this unique family. And as a way to recognize all they had done for her, she had pledge that she would always fight for the rights of the GLBT population, even if it meant that guys assumed she was not interested.

So she had been at the monthly meeting. The two women sitting beside here were talking about their weekends. Kathy, was excitedly showing her friend pictures of her the camping she and her new girlfriend had gone on. For Kathy, she was proud that her girlfriend was older and in graduate school. She kept mentioning the different things that people in the picture studied as if know them made her more intelligent. Dawn had never thought much of Kathy. She tended to think a little to highly of herself and she never stopped talking. So she just tuned out the conversation until a part of the conversation until one part piqued her interest.

"And this girl was cooking pancakes over the fire. When Jamie and I got back, she asked us what kind of pancakes we wanted. I was like huh. And she explained that she could make round or funny shaped. I was like... well, I want boobed shaped. And she made them. Then everyone else, even those who were full insisted on a boobed shaped pancake. This is a picture of us all about to eat our boobs and this is the girl who cooked them, Terri. She was so swee... heh."

Without waiting for an invitation, Dawn leaned over and took the picture out of Kathy's hand. She couldn't believe her eyes. She was in shock. Looking directly at her was Tara. Same shy half smile, same beautiful blue eyes. TARA! That was Tara, hunched over a fire, looking at the camera, caught like a deer in the headlights. TARA! That was definitely Tara holding a plant of boobed shaped pancakes.

"Tara" Dawn screamed, waving at the picture. "That is Tara! Where is she?"

Her two women looked at her oddly. Dawn was shaking with excitement. To those in the circle, she almost looked possessed. They had never seen her react this way.

"Uh, no that is Terri. She is Betsy's sister.." Answered the owner of the pictures.

"Where is Betsy? Where does she live? Where can I find her? That is Tara." Dawn was trying to fight the urge to shake the information from this woman. "Who is Betsy?"

"Dawn, you have got to calm down. Who do you think this person is? An ex-girlfriend." Asked Kathy's friend.

"Ew, no, she- she- she's a dear friend. She was there when my mother died and when my sister di- disappeared. She helped raise me. That is Tara. I need to see Tara. She used to make me funny shaped pancakes. She used to take care of me and then she disappeared. Please tell me how I can find her!"

"Let me call Amy and see what she thinks. Dawn, I am not making any promises. I do not want to be stalking these people. After all, they are in graduate school." reprimanded Kathy as she took out her phone and began to dial.

***********

Kathy was surprised at Amy's reaction. Amy quickly called Becky's and talked to her girlfriend,Julie. With in five minutes, Kathy was handing over her phone to Dawn to talk to Julie,. The conversation was brief. "Are you sure you know her? Where? When? Can you meet me in three hours. Good, see you then."

***********

Dawn picked up the phone on the first ring. Buffy was finally calling back.

"Hey brat, where's the fire?" Buffy asked affectionally as she set her stuff down and began to wander around the kitchen.

"Uh, Buffy, I need you to come out here as soon as you can. It is urgent."

"Dawn, what's going on." The slayer's voice was full of concern. Her sister was tough. She rarely called for help. They worked together as a team now. Her sister was not one to panic.

"If I didn't tell you, would that get you here faster?" Dawn asked.

There was a growl of frustration on the other end of the phone and the response to her question was. "Probably, but it would also put a hell of a lot of strain on this heart. Please tell me what is going on."

"Buffy, are you sitting down because this is big."

"Dawn!"

"Okay, I was at the Gay/ Lesbian advocacy meeting today and..."

"Dawn, you know that I just want you to be happy - gay, straight, bi, demon-loving - I have seen it all and what matters to me is that you are safe and happy."

:"No, let me finish, I was at the meeting and one of the girls was passing out pictures of her weekend." Dawn could here Buffy eagerness to get to the point. "And one of the pictures was of Tara."

There was silence over the line. Dawn could hear a chair pulled out and the creak of Buffy's weight meeting the chair. She held her breath as she waited for her sisters response. There was more she had to tell but she had to let her news sink in. So she silently waited for her sister to respond. It finally came out as a whisper, "are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, did she look happy?" Dawn was thrown by that question. She never considered Tara's happiness. All she thought about was seeing her again.

"Um, well, no. She looks older and tired. Her hair was shorter. I think she even had a tan which is weird since she was the goddess of the sun screen." Dawn felt that these things were not relevant. "Buffy, she is here on the East Coast."

"Well, it's good to know she is alive but why do you want me to come out there?"

"To see her of course. She needs to see her family. Remember, we are her family."

"Dawn, she left us." That response from Buffy threw Dawn. She expected Buffy on the first plane out east to get her friend.

"Buffy there is so much more." Dawn began to plead.

"No, I do not need to hear more. It is good to know that she is alive but if she wanted to see us, she would have called. We haven't moved. Our phone number hasn't changed. We always thought something happened to her but now we know, she left. She just left. She didn't care about the hole she left. She didn't care about how worried we were. She didn't care about anything. She's alive and that is good but now all I can feel is anger. Dawn, she left us."

At that moment, Dawn saw here sister in a different light. For the first time, she realized how fragile her sister was. For the first time she realized how much this woman cared. She was able to deal with vampires and demons, they didn't hurt her as much as people. The news that she had just given Buffy added up to one more person who she felt abandoned by. But that was not the truth and Dawn began to tell her the rest. "Um, Buffy, there is more. You see, she goes by the name Terri. She goes by the name Terri because she does not remember her real name. She doesn't know who she is. Buffy, she is still lost."

"Oh, um, Dawn give me a couple of days and I will be out there. We won't tell Willow until we know more. For now, please tell me what you know."

***********

To be continued...

Post soon!

Keep up the good work.

I liked the Amnesia idea!!! Interesting to see whether or not Tara will be immediately attracted to Willow even though she doesn't remember her!!! I'm feeling it will be very sweet to watch them falling in love again - aww makes me warm inside!!!

Waiting for more here...

Katharyn

**********************************

Part 2

"You told her what? You told her about Terri. What if she is who Terri was running away from. What if she is one of the people who hurt Terri. How could you tell her about us, about Terri, How could you betray her?"

"Betsy, she is not an abuser. She is not a scary person. She is a college student. She is just 21. She knew Terri when she was in high school. She knew her as Tara, her sister's best friend's girlfriend. She lived with her for about six months. She told me how Tara used to make her funny shaped pancakes in the morning and insist that she eat healthy. She told me how when she first met Tara, she was so shy and that she stuttered badly. She remembered her telling these off the wall jokes that only her girlfriend understood. I only heard love and admiration and pain and hope from Dawn."

Julie watched her girl friend pace around the kitchen. It was late, she had waited up for her girlfriend to come home from the hospital. She had had dinner with Terri earlier, laughed and tried to act normal. She didn't say anything about her trip to Pennsylvania that afternoon. After dinner, she called about couple of people trying to track down the notes from the afternoon class she missed. She tried to keep busy until her love would come home.

While she waited for Betsy's long day at the hospital to end, Julie kept checking the web page that Dawn had given shown her. There was a picture of Tara McClay, the woman she had know as Terri. Dawn explained that Willow had set it up in hopes that someone would see it. It was a montage of pictures of Tara with a red head. That must have been Willow. There were pictures where Tara was looking at Willow with love and there was one picture where she was looking at Willow with lust. That was odd, in the four years that she had know Terri, she had never seen her that overtly sexual. There were other pictures of Tara with Dawn and a blond haired woman. Some of the pictures were serious and some were silly. There were other pictures with a man and a woman. There was one with her and a cat. There were at least twenty pictures linked to this page. Jamie saw a smile on this woman's face that she had only rarely seen on Terri. She kept looking at these pictures and she could not help but feel that she only knew a ghost of this woman who had been a part of her life for the past four years. After hearing about Tara from Dawn and looking at this web page, she was convinced that Tara McClay was Terri. Now she had to convince Betsy.

That was going to be the hard part because Terri had become so significant in her lover's life. Betsy had met Terri while she was in her third year of medical school at the University of Arizona. She was doing her psychiatric rotation at the hospital. Terri was the easiest patient on the wing. She had been suffering from amnesia that they believed to be a result of traumatic stress disorder. Initially, she had been brought into the hospital after being the passenger in a car accident. The driver had died and she did not remember how she had gotten into the car or who the driver was. She remembered nothing and she had no identification. She was registered as a Jane Doe.

Over the next six months, the staff began to call her Terri because one of the few memories she had was of a woman comforting her and calling her "Tarebear" and telling her that there was no reason to be afraid. But there must have been something to be afraid of because her body still bore the signs of scars that often signify child abuse. She always seemed to be on edge. She jumped when she heard shouting, she tended to back into corners when she thought someone was being aggressive towards her. She showed all the signs of someone who had been abused and the doctors believed that the memories were locked away in her mind.

They didn't really have any other hints to who she was. They suspected that she had studied computers. Not because she remembered them but because one time, they found her hugging a laptop, rocking her self back and forth seeking comfort. She loved horses and when she was taken out of the hospital, the barn and paddock was the only place where they saw her stand up straight.

When Betsy met Terri, she was still coping with the death of her younger sister, Carrie who had died of leukemia. She was not really interested in this psychiatric rotation, she was looking forward to eventually getting into oncology. She was not looking to connect with any of the patients. Her goal was to get through school, move back to Maryland and start her residency. She didn't expect to be so drawn to Terri. It wasn't so much that Terri reminded her of Carrie but that she was able to cope with what ever pain she was experiencing. She was able to do what Betsy couldn't. She was able to put it behind her, even if she this by forgetting it.

The hospital staff loved Terri but they didn't know what to do with her. She was able to take care of herself and she didn't belong in the hospital. They had discussed sending her to a residential living facility but it seemed unnecessary. What Terri needed was a place to stay as she slowly rebuilt her life. Betsy was shocked to hear herself offer to allow Terri to stay with her but it felt right. It felt like the first positive thing she had done since Carrie had died. It felt like it was the first time she was thinking of someone else since Carrie's death.

At first, Terri continued to work as an outpatient at the hospital. They helped her establish an identity. Terri Stevens was born. Stevens was one of the names that struck her as familiar. It took some legal work but she eventually got a social security number and was able to get a job. Her first job was in the mail room of the hospital. Everyone knew that she was way over qualified for this job but they didn't know what skills she had. She was still painfully shy. The less people she came into contact with, the easier it was for her. So she was able to lose her self in the mail room. When a year had passed and Betsy graduated from school, Terri moved with Betsy to Maryland. Julie was already there, having started her Phd in counseling the year before.

In the four short years, Terri became a sister to both Julie and Betsy. She slowly started to relax around them. Her natural role of caretaker began to assert herself. She kept the house going as her two overworked roommates. They depended on her to listen with love and without judgment. She moved from being a needy lost young woman to a confidant and trusted partner in the house. And now, Julie had to tell Betsy that the woman who had become a part of there family had another family looking for her.

"Look at this picture. Look at that smile. That is Tara McClay. Look at her." Terri said as she shoved her lap top across the table after Betsy finally stopped pacing and sat down. "It's not Terri, it is Tara. A woman with a family on the other side of the country. A woman who has a lover who continues to support this site, even after five year. Our Terri hasn't looked at a woman in five years like she is looking at the red head. Our Terri hasn't laughed like she is laughing in this picture. Our Terri continues to live half a life. Here is the other half."

Silence fell over the room. Julie watched her beloved slump over the computer, she wanted to walk around the table and wrap her arms around her but she didn't know if it was her right. After all, she was the one who was insisting on this bad news. She was the one who was insisting that they not ignore this revelation. She was the one following up on it. She was the one who introduced Betsy to this painful truth. So she sat and studied her lover, waiting for a sign of what she was supposed to do. She just waited.

"What do we do now?" This whispered question shattered the silence.

Will she meet her real beloved one(s) soon?
I hope so! Very good story! Can't hardly wait to read more!

-Aimee

Can't wait till Willow find out...

More, more, more, pleeeeeaaaasssee!!!!

(Wooo-hooo! I'm a Doll's Eye Crystal now! Cool!)

------------------
Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.

Tara: Willow, I got so lost.
Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

Tara: Nobody messes with my girl!

Willow: Hi, um Tara. How are you? I was wondering maybe you want to go out sometime for coffee? food? kisses and gay love?

Again, thank you all for taking the time to respond. You really are too kind.

****************

Part 3

It was 5:45 when Buffy's plane finally landed at Dulles Airport. It was 6:30 before Dawn and Buffy finally inched onto 495 headed toward Rockville. They were on their way to meet Betsy and Julie. Dawn had thought that they could reach the restaurant in Rockville by 7:00. She and Julie had agreed that it was a good place to initially meet.. Now it looked as if they would be lucky to make it to the restaurant by 7:30. Dawn was experiencing so many different emotions. She was anxious about driving her roommate's car in the rain and traffic. She was relieved to have Buffy with her. She was excited about getting closer to seeing Tara and she was afraid of doing that would hurt or scare Tara.

Buffy was full of nervous energy. It was odd to have her little sister guide her around and be the expert of the area. She felt extremely out of place and far from home. She had spent the past day and half finding substitute teachers for her class. She had to arrange with her neighbor to take care of Miss Kitty. She had to convince Xander and Anya to patrol together. The vamp count had been low but she still needed someone to keep an eye on things while she was gone. She had done some extra slaying before she left. She hit to small nests hoping that would keep things calm while she was away. She had barely slept in the last two days.. But as tired as she was, she could not just relax.

Buffy had learned to expect the worse. She sat in the passenger seat struggling with the feeling of being out of control. To break her train of thought, she broke the silence. "I talked toWillow last night. She is jealous of this spontaneous visit and wants to meet us here this weekend. She thinks she can wrap things up in Orlando by Saturday morning. I didn't know what to tell her. I wasn't sure if she should even come here. Dawn, what the hell are we going to do?"

"I don't know. Hopefully by this weekend, we will have a better idea of what to do. Buff, what if she doesn't remember us. What if she does remember us and has been hiding from us. What if she hates us..."

"I don't know. I am also scared. My stomach has been doing flips since you told me about the picture. It was so hard not to tell Will. I felt like I was lying to her but what could I say. She has been through so much. We need to make sure of everything first. I can not see her hurt again."

"Wouldn't it be great though. Maybe she will remember us and want to come home. Maybe she has been waiting for us to find her."

"We can only hope. We can only hope. " But Buffy knew that things for them never work out that way. People usually end up leaving her. She felt her spirits begin to sink. Rather than allow herself to get lost in negative thoughts, Buffy searched for more conversation topics. "So, um, do they have many vampires here?"

"Well there are not many where I am but Buffy I am sure that there are plenty here. After all, we are in the nations capital. Think of all the politicians. Remember the mayor. I bet senators are much worse."

"Yeah, I bet they are pretty scary. So do you carry your holy water squirt gun with you?" And the conversation for the rest of the trip to the restaurant covered Dawn's need to be safe, her study habits and her life at college.

When the reached the restaurant 45 minutes late, Dawn and Julie greeted each other as if they were the long lost friends. They hugged each other warmly. Buffy and Betsy stood back and suspiciously watched each other. They stiffly shook hands when they were introduced and the first Terri/Tara summit began.

"So, how was your flight?" Julie asked politely. "Were you able to find this restaurant okay?"

"The flight was fine." Buffy stated.

Seeing her sister's stiffness, Dawn tried to cover for her sister. "Everything was fine until we got on the road out of Dulles. I was surprised that the traffic was still so heavy after 6:00 PM. I really thought we were going to drive against it but I was wrong. I am sorry we kept you to waiting so long."

Seeing that her girlfriend and Dawn's sister were scowling at each other and barely listening to the conversation, Julie continued the conversation. "Don't worry about it. Betsy and I barely get much time just to sit in a restaurant and talk. So we took advantage of this time. It was actually a nice treat."

"Yeah, I guess your schedules are pretty hectic. Buffy, did you know that Betsy is a Doctor and Julie is studying for her Phd in Psychology . Hey Jul, have you ever heard of Professor Maggie Walsh's work in your studies. Buffy took her at UC Sunnydale?"

Buffy shook her head as if she heard what her sister said and Julie shrugged her shoulders and answered, "Nope. What was her specialty."

"Abnormal Psychology," answered Buffy without breaking her stare battle with Betsy.

Fed up with the behavior of her girlfriend and Buffy, Julie sighed and said, "Okay, I figure we can just cut Terri in half and we do not even need to talk try and settle things."

"What?"

"Julie!" Betsy finally broke her stare to look at her girlfriend in shock.

"Well, now that we have you attention, would you two stop this macho stare contest. Could we please talk about what is going on. I have sat here for ten minutes and I have come to two conclusions. One, you two are both looking at the other person like she is a threat and two, you are doing this because you each love and care about Ter. And yes, that is what we are going to call her during this conversation. So please tell us everything you know and we will do the same."
"Thank you Julie, since my sister has left her manners in California, I want to again apologize for being late. And I want to thank you for caring for and loving one of the dearest people I know. Now, what can we tell you about Tar?"

"How is she?" It killed Buffy to have to ask these two strangers how someone she had considered family was. It shamed her that she had not taken better care of her dear friend.

Over the next hour, much was revealed about the woman that they all loved. Julie and Betsy learned about how Tara met Willow at the campus Wiccan group. Buffy and Dawn learned that in addition to working as an assistant stable manager, Tara had part-time job at a whole food store and was thinking of going to school for holistic healing. Julie and Betsy learned how Tara came to live in the Summer's house. Buffy and Dawn learned about how Tara started to live with Julie and Betsy.

In the midst of a conversation lull, Julie asked her first question of the evening. "Who abused Tara?"

Buffy and Dawn looked at each other sadly, not really sure of the full answer. Finally, Buffy tried to explain. "She never talked of abuse but I believe her father and brother were responsible. They had definitely abused her mentally. I don't know if it began before or after her mother's death. She died when Tara was 17. We didn't meet Tara until she was 19. We met her father and brother. They were asses."

"She acted as if she was abused when she was in the hospital. She sat in the corner, always in the corner. She talked about demons and monsters. Sometimes she would just hold her head and rock back and forth. She was afraid of her own shadow. Nothing would comfort her when she would start to cry. She would cry for hours, silently, never making any noise."

"Tara never made a lot of noise. She was always quiet. Even when she was angry, she was quiet I used to suspect that she wore chuncky shoes and combat boots just so that she would make some noise. I never saw her cry either. I saw her eyes filled with tears, but cry, weep... no, never. Dawn, did you ever see her cry?"

"No, I never saw her cry. I rarely even heard her raise her voice. Please, tell me more about Tara. I miss her so much." Dawn turned to face Betsy as she pleaded her case. She wanted this woman to understand how important Tara was to her.

It was this girl, a year or two younger than her sister that finally broke through the shell that Betsy had built up for this meeting. It was Dawn's sincere feelings that finally made Betsy realize that she could not keep Terri to herself. These people were not here to hurt her friend. They were here to help. They needed to find their friend as badly as Julie need to protect her. And now they were going to have to find a way to both together.

"Okay, how are we going to introduce you all to Terri. How are we going to explain this all to her?"

For the next hour, the four women sat around the table making plans. They argued about what was best for her. Whether they should first meet Terri and see if she remembered them or if the should prepare Terri for the meeting. Finally, they agreed that Julie and Betsy would tell Terri about Dawn and Buffy. Then they would arrange a meeting. It was going to depend on how Terri responded.

Patricia