*Mollyig* - I'm glad you're along for the ride. Yes, Spike can be a pain but he's been around long enough to actually learn from mistakes.*Bobo's Mom* - Cool, more panties and just for the record, the higk kicks are after the panties have been flung, yes?
*Lonewolf* - Thanks for the Wow. I like Wow's. Anyway, some resolution in Ch 6 and if all goes according to plan, Ch 7 - major smoochies.
*Drakkenfyre* - Hi sweetie - ok, first, little kiss on your forehead, to make you feel all better. And see below for chapter.
Good Morning again (well for me, anyway). My love beta Owl is celebrating Passover with her family (as she should) and therefore Ch 6 is unbeta'ed. I'm going to post it anyway and will correct the glaring errors later.
Notes : Ok, I remember saying that there is more resolution and only a little angst, well I think I kept my promise. What do you think? Feedback greatly appreciated. Enjoy.
Spoiler Warning - It has some spoilers up to Normal Again.
Disclaimer - All characters, names etc belong to ME. I am just borrowing them for this short while in order to make them do what I want for a change instead of waiting to see what happens every Tuesday.
Rating - PG .
Title : For All your Good Intentions
Chapter 6
¡§Hey there, Will. You ok? Need any chocolaty goodness or a pizza or I could spot you a twenty??¡¨ Xander asked as the two witches made their way back into the house.
¡§I¡¦m good¡¨ Willow replied as she reached for Tara¡¦s hand on her shoulder. She wanted that physical affirmation. Something had happened outside -something Spike may have said. The heartfelt words that rained on her from Tara made her heart soar. Made her feel invincible, made her feel like she could walk.
¡§Giles, I owe you an apology¡¨ she added.
¡§No, Willow, you don¡¦t. I understand completely. I¡¦m sorry, I didn¡¦t realize you and Tara had stopped practicing. It was stupid of me to assume¡K. I am sorry¡¨
¡§But that still leaves the Demon Hanson Lambda¡K..¡¨ Buffy trailed off
¡§Han¡¦thu Ladsha¡¨ Anya added helpfully ¡§About 8 feet tall, dog like features -very strong and nasty. This one time, I was near a village that forgot to give him his usual ritual sacrifice, so he gutted them¡¨
¡§He burnt the village down?¡¨ Willow ventured.
¡§No, I mean he went in and gutted each and every villager and hung them from their front doors. He could hold the entire village in his thrall, they did not have a chance to run away.¡¨ Silence fell as they all took in the grisly description that Anya had provided.
Tara looked around the room. She looked at all the faces of her loved ones, her family. She loved Willow with all her being, all her soul. But the love she felt for the people here was also very strong. She would try anything for them and for Willow. So she put on her resolve face (the one she stole from her love), ¡§I¡KI, think we should do the spell¡¨.
Willow knew deep down that Tara was going to say that, so she did not join in the looks of surprised etched on the faces of everyone else. But she was afraid -so afraid of doing magic again. So afraid that things would turn out so very, very wrong, once again. It did not matter if it was light based or dark. All she knew - all she remembered was that every time she did magic, bad things would eventually happen - Bad, bad things. Maybe not immediately but always later, when she was comfortable and not expecting it. Bad things had a tendency to do that, to sneak up on you. She could not afford that, not anymore.
¡§Tara, are you sure? I mean you haven¡¦t¡K, not since¡K¡¨ taking a deep breath, Buffy continued ¡§Its not a simple spell and it could be dangerous. It probably is, isn¡¦t it Giles?¡¨
¡§Yes¡Kyes, it is quite a powerful spell. It requires one of you to act as a conduit while the other has to follow the ancient ritual movements and recite the spell. Rather involving, I dare say¡¨
¡§I¡¦m sure¡¨ Tara jutted out her chin. She knew Willow was having doubts. She knew that the red-head was not happy with her decision but she also knew that it was the right one to make. She had been walking around in a haze for too long -she had kept too many things inside. The magic had to be released, along with her pain.
Before anyone could speak, she knelt down in front of Willow ¡§Darling, please listen to me. I know you don¡¦t want to do magic anymore but you¡¦ve always been so brave. My brave, brave Willow. You¡¦ve always been there from me, for us. We need to do this, please¡¨ she placed her head in Willow lap and let her tears flow once again.
Giles knew that he was witnessing something important. He knew what he had to do. ¡§Willow, may I talk to you and Tara in private? ¡¨ he asked.
Willow nodded, she knew that Tara was right, that they had to do this. But she was still so afraid, so frightened to take the plunge, to lose herself . Tara, slowly stood up, she bent down and gently carried Willow out of the chair and towards the back porch. Giles followed behind. He sat on the back steps and watched as Tara lovingly settled Willow on her lap, wrapped her arms around her and sat in the porch swing, swaying gently in the wind.
¡§I don¡¦t need to tell you how much you girls have meant to me. Your love for each other and for me has enriched my life beyond measure. I regret not being here for you. I had thought that it was for the best. I only had the best intentions¡¨ Giles continued, trying to hold back the tears from his voice.
¡§We know, Giles, but what you¡¦re asking me¡K,us to do, it¡¦s not that easy. Magic used to mean so many things to me¡¨ Willow looked at Giles and tried to explain ¡§ It meant I could help Buffy more than before. It meant that I could help save Angel, fight the good fight. Then when I met Tara, it allowed me to connect with her more than I could ever have with Oz or Xander. That was so amazing, Giles. But somehow, I got caught up in controlling it more than letting it flow through me. I wanted to direct it. It was wrong but it felt so good. I got so lost and did so many¡K..¡¨ she couldn¡¦t continue, those memories bombarded her senses.
¡§It¡¦s ok, baby. You don¡¦t have to continue.¡¨ Tara wrapped her arms tighter around Willow, quietly sending her own strength to the frail hacker. Hoping that their connection, though tenuous was still there -it had to be. She saw more clearly now, they had to reclaim their balance.
¡§No, I need to say this!. Giles, I messed up but Tara found me again. But see, magic doesn¡¦t solve anything. I couldn¡¦t help Buffy or Tara when it mattered. I couldn¡¦t stop Warren from shooting Buffy or me and I wouldn¡¦t have been able to stop him if he had gone after Tara¡¨ Willow had to stop, she had given voice to her greatest fear, her mind just could not cope with the thought. The thought that she would not have been able to stop Tara from being injured - that thought chilled her to the bone. Magic was no use to her anymore. It was not real.
¡§Willow¡¨ Giles called softly, ¡§Don¡¦t you see, magic is not the root of your problem. It never was.¡¨
¡§What, but¡K.¡¨ Willow couldn¡¦t believe what she was hearing, luckily, she could feel Tara¡¦s arms securing her, holding her together, giving her strength. She took a deep breath and continued ¡§Giles, magic caused all of this, can¡¦t you see that!¡¨ she pleaded plaintively ¡§Can¡¦t you see???¡¨
¡§My dear girl, my dear sweet girl. Magic did not cause you to get shot, Warren did that. Magic did not cause Tara to leave you the first time, you did that¡¨, he could see her flinch at his harsh words, but he had to do this, he had to continue. ¡§Magic did not cause Buffy to die, it was a decision that she made willingly for all of us. It¡¦s you who can¡¦t see, child. Magic brought the two of you together. It¡¦s a part of you and you can¡¦t deny that or hide it. You would only disrupt the balance¡¨ Giles finished, unknowingly echoing the words of Spike before.
¡§So what are you saying, Mr. Giles? Th- that Willow and I need to do magic again, we need to do spells to reconnect?¡¨
¡§You don¡¦t have to do this blood spell but yes, magic has always been a part of the both of you, innate and intrinsic. Your connection will always be there with or without it. But by tamping down on something so natural, both of you are just expending unnecessary energy. Fighting the inevitable - much like swimming against the tide. Don¡¦t you see, you ARE magic together - You can¡¦t hold it in, not for long. Let it out, it needs to be expressed - It can be, through your love for each other.¡¨ Giles finished, hoping that he had got his message through. Praying that these two special women realized just how special they were, how essential they were, to the world and to each other.
He got up slowly, his back hurt but his heart felt so much lighter than it did this afternoon. If he was being honest, he had not felt like this in such a long time - It was a beautiful feeling. ¡§Well, I should take my leave then. Please think over what I¡¦ve¡K..¡¨
¡§Giles¡¨, Willow cut in as he trailed off. ¡§Thank you, I never realized how much we needed you¡K¡KStill need you¡¨ she leaned back against Tara, feeling her breath on her neck, understanding their connection and rejoicing in their contact. ¡§We¡¦ll do the spell¡K. It¡¦s the right thing to do.¡¨ After saying those words, she realized that they were indeed true. She and Tara needed this as much as Buffy or the world.
¡§Do you think they¡¦re killing him or something, I mean it¡¦s really quiet and there¡¦s no raised voices, so all good. But maybe they knocked him out?¡¨ Buffy postulated, ¡§I sure hope they didn¡¦t knock him out¡¨.
She looked relieved when she heard the back door open and saw Giles (whole and standing) walk through only to be followed by Tara carrying Willow. They looked tired but satisfied, happy even. Tara¡¦s face was different as well. Buffy couldn¡¦t put a finger on it at first. Then she realized that it wasn¡¦t different, Tara looked liked she had once again found her center - she looked serene, at peace, like she did so long ago.
¡§So everything's ok with the watcher and the mega-witches?¡¨ Dawn asked hopefully.
¡§It¡¦s better¡¨ Tara replied smiling unguardedly.
¡§Cool¡¨ Dawn moved forward to bring Willow¡¦s wheelchair to her two touchstones. Things were looking up again - her family was whole and home at last.
Well, Xander thought to himself, Anya¡¦s done it again. His Anya, had help everyone begin to heal, he could not have been more proud. He fingered the velvet-covered box in his pocket. He remembered the last time he had thought of doing this. How he had hid it from them, how he had thought he was doing the right thing, only not. He was not going to make the same mistakes, nosiree, bob!
¡§Uh, I have an umm, an announcement to make¡¨ Xander started. Anya was looking at him curiously; she couldn¡¦t fathom what he wanted to say.
He walked up to where she was sitting and knelt in front of her ¡§Anya, I love you¡¨. She was about to say something but he gently put his finger to her lips, ¡§Please, let me continue. I love you not in spite of the fact that you always talk about money or that you used to discuss our sex life, often and in public. I love you because of IT!. I love you because you see in me the man that I¡¦ve always wanted to be¡K.. I could never see that - I didn¡¦t know how to. But I realize that I could see him, reflected back in your eyes. You¡¦ve always been there for me and I want to be that man for you. Please, please let me try¡¨. He slowly drew out the velvet box from his pocket and offered it to her. ¡§I know you think that I¡¦m doing this because there¡¦s a another big bad on the horizon and another apocalypse. But we live on the hellmouth and there will always be something and I want to face all of it with you, by your side¡¨ he finished.
Buffy, Willow, Dawn, Tara and Giles were staring with open wonder at his heartfelt outburst. Little Xander had finally grown up, had finally grown into his shoes - he had finally realized his worth. Now if only Anya could see beyond her fears, they thought - they wished.
Willow held on tightly to Tara¡¦s hand, she could feel that Tara to was holding her breath, they all were - Please Anya, Willow sent out, please see him for what he is now, not what he was before -Please.
Anya, looked around the room, she saw the faces of the people that she had come to love, come to respect. People she would fight for, die for, even. These people who meant more to her than her real family ever did - who in turn would fight for her, forgive her past and accept her present. She looked down at Xander¡¦s expectant face. With just one word, she could crush him. Make him feel the same pain, he had put her through, break his heart into a million pieces like he did hers - Pieces that she was still trying to collect and make whole.
But she was human now, vengeance was a thing of the past. If Tara could forgive Willow anything, then likewise, she could learn and forgive Xander - had already forgiven him, she could allow him to heal her heart. ¡§Yes¡¨ she answered, ¡§Yes¡¨.
¡§Yahhhhh! WOO HOO¡¨ Buffy and Dawn cheered and hugged each other. Giles, throwing english reserve out the window, went to hug the second official couple of the Scooby gang.
Tara and Willow smiled on, happy that their friends had finally found their way back to each other. They too linked hands and shared a kiss. It was a kiss of promises to come.
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