The Zany Misadventures of MKF

supermus · **Posted:** Sun Mar 17, 2002 3:17 pm

I was reading the MKF/ATR fic, and got a cool idea.
Feedback: Please, Please, Please! I need reassertment of my writing talents. I'm needy :-)
Disclaimer:Willow, Tara, and MKF are the sole property of Joss and ME blah blah blah.
Spoilers: Up to Tabula Rasa
Premise: MKF runs away in an attempt to reunite Willow and Tara.

Chapter 0: Teaser
"Why are you so sad baby," Tara said to her feline friend. Ever since she had moved back into the dorm, Miss Kitty had been as unplayful as Tara had ever seen her. Tara watched as she hopped off into the pile of clothes Tara hadn't unpacked yet. She pulled out a yellow shirt with pink sleeves and a pink star in the center. Willow's. "I miss her too, but-" Tara couldn't finish. Tears came to her eyes as she thought of all she had left behind. "You've grown up so much. I may have to change your name. Maybe you can be Miss Pussy Fantastico." Tara winced at the small new teeth mark in her ankle. "Okay, I guess I'll stick with Miss Kitty then." Tara laid down to rest, forgetting she had left the window wide open.
(cue ominous music)
TBC........
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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 17, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

supermus · **Posted:** Sun Mar 17, 2002 3:42 pm

Chapter 1: On the Lamb

Ah, a perfect plan MKF thought. If Tara went looking for her and stumbled on Willow, well, they would fall right back together. All she had to do was find the way back. Cats have an excellent memory for finding the way home she thought. Home is right over there. Under the big sign that says "Captain Murdock's Tuna". Oh crap! That memory thing is dogs isn't it. Well as long as I'm here...

A few minutes later she was flying above the steps, which would be great for her except she was going out, not in. Forget that. I can find my way home myself. Luckily, at that moment, Willow was walking home from class. Hey, that smell's really familiar.

Unfortunately, a last minute slip in her footing led to her being locked out of the house. So, she spied the action inside from a convienient tree branch. What's this? She thought as she listened to Willow's voice flowing out through the window. "Cio che fu non e piu. Cio che fu fatto disfa. Passato e il pericolo, finita e la prova. Metti le cosa a posto" Suddenly, she felt a good 5 feet taller. What the f-. She looked down, realizing she was not only human, but completely naked. She promptly fell straight out of the tree.
TBC...

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

ForeverPiper · **Posted:** Sun Mar 17, 2002 4:08 pm

Okay...now I'm interested. I wanna know what happens. Miss Kitty is becoming VERY sneeky. But, just a suggestion...could you make the parts a little longer? It's okay if ya don't but it would be nice.

supermus · **Posted:** Sun Mar 17, 2002 4:59 pm

Note: I've got minor spoilers through Wrecked now. Well the reasons the parts are so short is cuz I don't plan ahead, I think as I write. All of Dave Barry's writer buddys say not to plan at the beginning, except Ridley Pearson, who has already planned what to have for breakfast on May 12, 2011(tea and an english musffin, unbuttered).

Anywho, I know basically where I wanna go with MKF's backstory, but all the rest is up to my personal story troll. Now I have to figure out how to get MKF some clothes so she can leave the backyard. Hmmm

Chapter 2: Where's my tail gone?
She remembered it all. Her name was/is Michelle Karen Fransico, top agent. She had to get to the locker where she had stored all of her personal belongings before the mission, but it would be hard to get across town in her nude state. Of course! she thought. "Da meo vestis!" she whispered, and a neat pile of clothing appeared at her feet.

When she had been informed she would be spending a few months as a cat, Marilyn put all of her things in a storage locker downtown. Unfortunately, she been out of commision longer than she expected. Well, I hope it's still there she thought. Success! She picked her cell phone out of the box marked "Electronics and Fragile Stuff". "It's Agent Kitty. I've been restored. I'm at the locker. Come, I need a lift."

Tara couldn't find her no matter how hard she looked. It was daybreak, and she awoke to find her window open and her kitty nowhere to be found. Resigned to go about her day as usual, she met Dawn for movies and milkshakes. After the movie was done, she took her home, noticing an abundance of black and white hairs on the lawn. Miss Kitty has been shedding she thought. But as she laid down on the couch awaiting the return of the house residents so that she could leave Dawn with an adult, thoughts of Miss Kitty began to fade.
TBC...
I hope this is longer.
Edited to add: Arg, not longer. Oh well, tomorrow I'll have more of a chance to plan since I'm offline until 3:30. Maybe I can make a longer update then.

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 17, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

Katharyn · **Posted:** Mon Mar 18, 2002 11:50 am

This looks like it could get to be fun Supermus! Keep it going... but yeah longer parts would be nice.

Katharyn

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You hear that baby?

wiccachica · **Posted:** Mon Mar 18, 2002 11:58 am

You go on with your bad self MKF!!!!

Horaay for Supermus!!!

Long...short...posts....no matter.....I'm in for the long....er....short.... haul.....

* twirling noise maker in your honor...*

n

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"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy

" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz

" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)

supermus · **Posted:** Mon Mar 18, 2002 2:03 pm

Aww, thanks guys. Just got finished with my daily fix of The Late Shift, so I'm in a good mood. Still just wandering through the story though. One of these days I'm gonna plan ahead, and then bang, zoom, straight to the moon, or something like that. And without further Apu,

Chapter 3: L-A-T-E-R That Week
"Where were you for two years, Michelle?" Agent Ruth asked, half concerned, half angry.
"It was only 1 and a half years," Michelle replied, in the manner of a child who was just caught being naughty. "I found two fellow sisters who took me in. I was planning to find a way back, I really was. I admit, I failed my mission, but I can fix it. I just need Willow and Tara's help."

At that moment Tara was scampering away from Willow, who had just returned from an all-night party with Amy. On her way out she again noticed a trail of cat hair on the driveway. "Curiouser and curiouser," she muttered to herself.

Tara was in the center of Sunnydale, which had managed to triple in size in the past 5 years and was now almost as big as L.A., when she ran into a woman with shoulder-length raven hair and blue eyes with a familiar twinkle. "Excuse me," she apologized. "No, it was my fault. Hi, I'm Michelle. You look familiar, have I seen you around somewhere?"
"Maybe. You look kinda familiar too. I'm Tara, Tara Maclay. Do you go to UC Sunnydale?"
"Yeah I do actually. Maybe I've seen you in the dormatory. What building are you in?"
"Oh I live in Stevenson."
"Me too! Maybe I'll see you around," and with that she left. Mission accomplished Michelle thought to herself, for in her days in Tara's room she had been too short to notice a door number.

In an hour, Michelle was in the planning room at WSS. "This is the island where we suspect Mors is hiding," Agent Xita explained, and pointed out the edge of an island on a digital picture. "However, whenever we try and get direct photos, our satelites are with exploding coconuts. Recovered fragments show an inscription on the coconuts: "Proffesor Lieutenant Supermus sends his regards." Curiouser and curiouser Michelle thought.

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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

supermus · **Posted:** Mon Mar 18, 2002 4:23 pm

Throwing in a linner edition to make up for how short I keep making these.

Chapter 4: The one with all of the spoiler-free injokes
"So she woke up and Miss Kitty was just gone?" Willow asked Dawn. They were currently en route to the movies. Willow was fulfilling her part of the big Dawny time bargain. Dawn couldn't be happier. It gave her a chance to be ambassador between the two lovers, plus someone was FINALLY spending time with her.
"Yeah, guess she got tired of the single life. Miss Kitty, not Tara. Maybe you should go over to her place and, ya know, help her search? Like I said, she's sad, and not just about the Miss Kitty thing."

"You said you've never gotten a positive shot of this island? What makes you think it's Mors's lair?"
"We've never gotten a shot of it. This place is defended up the wazoo. We think all the transmissions are in code. They have a huge defense system set up against 'spoilers', and only the 'spoiler-free' as they call themselves can enter."
"'Spoilers?' You think that's code for..."
"It sounds like Mors's MO. But to the point: we're sending you in. We have a special sub: the S.S. Spoilerbus. The spoiler thing is a nice way of throwing his code in his face, isn't it?"
"Yeah it is. What kind of equiptment do we have here?"
"Best anti-coconut defense system on the planet, though there's not much competition. Also some huge digging equiptment. Our plan is to use it to tunnel straight under to the center, the 'Space Hopper' factory, A.K.A. his lair, and penetrate. Cool plan, eh?"

Michelle wasn't so sure. She had grown attached to Willow and Tara, she was still looking for them around. She wasn't exactly ready for a voyage out. As she was preparing to make a trek to Tara's dorm, the Service called for briefing. Boy is their timing ever the suck she thought. I still have some time before I have to go. I'll just explain to her rationaly. Yeah, right. She looked up at the sign in front of her. "Stevenson Hall. Right where I want to be." The roster was very helpful, with a list of students who ahd moved in recently. A few minutes later she was at Tara's door. "Hi, Michelle. Wh-What do you want to talk about?"
"I kinda have something big to tell you. I'm sorta.." she started. It sounded so stupid in her head.
"Sorta what?" Tara asked, with that inquisitive look in her eyes.
"Sorta... your cat."

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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

supermus · **Posted:** Mon Mar 18, 2002 5:59 pm

OK, here's the post-dinner edition, another notch in the headboard of my little story.

Chapter 5: A Three Hour Trip that Everyone Packed Ten Years Worth of Clothes for
"You're my c-cat? I mean, I know this is a hellmouth, but that's still a little?"
"Crazy?"
"Actually, I was going for quirky, but crazy isn't out of the ballpark. Tell me your story. "My real name is Michelle Karen Francisco," she said, and showed Tara a tattoo on her neck that said "MKF". "Talk about cosmic coincidences," Michelle quipped.
"That's a nice name, and a nice tattoo. A bit un-catlike, but..."
"That's my HUMAN name, and you don't want to see where my other tat is. I was supposed to spy on someone, so I turned myself into a cat. I thought it would be incognito, but he figured me out and he made me stick like this. I was with him for about six months, and I managed to get some serious mojo on his project. I sent gremlins into his equipment, and other general curses that kept it from progressing. Unfortunately, they were tied into my felinity. See, I cast the spells as a cat, so now that I'm human, the cat ceases to exist, and the spells are undone. I need to leave. He's got an island, and I'll be going away for a few months. I thought I should tell you, as you did take care of me for a year and a half."
"But what it this guy doing? Where are you going?"
"Sorry, classified," Michelle said, and departed with a kiss to the hand.

Goddess that was stupid, Michelle thought on the sub on the way to the island. Getting to the island would only take a couple hours, but she would need a few months reconnaissance. why did you kiss her hand? Why not a handshake, or a hug, why a kiss on that pretty little hand? "Agent, we'll be coming up on the island soon," Nika said. "Got it Wiccachica," Michelle replied. Her full name was Nika W. Chica, but everyone called her Wiccachica, for obvious reasons. Suddenly, a brown-green goo hit the wall beside her. "Foo weaponry!" Agent Len shouted. "Why didn't we expect that? We're going under!" In succession, the three deck officers jumped down the hatch to the interior of the sub. Back on the island, Katharyn was manning the foo-cannon. "And you thought foo-weaponry was useless, supermus."
"Well, I didn't figure they'd have adapted to my coconut technology. What are they, the Borg?" supermus quipped.
"No, we're WSS," Len shot back as they emerged on shore.

Man, did I ever turn the cool Kitten subtext into WAY text. What do you think? Should I have an all out war, WSS versus Spoiler-Free? Or should I have them sign a peace treaty and work together to fight a common enemy?

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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 18, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

supermus · **Posted:** Tue Mar 19, 2002 1:55 pm

Yeah, it's another "Hey it's afternoon and I'm glad to not be wearing shoes" edition! I just realize I forgot everything I had planned. Rats.
Chapter 6: Island in the Sun
Michelle noticed three new faces in the welcoming comitee. They had called identified themselves as Wolfie, Pixie, and Owl. Like those could be real names. Right.
"You won't succeed. We'll crush you and stop your scheming," Len shot at Wolfie. "We'll resort to any means necessary."
Wolfie spun around, brandashing a dagger on his sweep to Michelle's throat. At the last possible nanosecond, Michelle felt the handle pass by her throat, blade-free. She opened her eyes and saw Wolfie with a retractable knife pointed straight at her jugular. "So will we."
"You can't destroy us. Kill one, another comes. You can't defeat WSS."
"WSS? What's that stand for? We're Spoiler Sluts?" supermus shot at Nika.
"Wiccan Secret Service," she replied. "We're here to stop you from destroying all our kind."
"Us? Destroy wiccans? Hell, half of us are wiccan. We're just trying to destroy people who insist on ruining Willow and Tara's future for us. Lately, we haven't gotten as much fellow kittens as much as spy satellites and planes overhead."
"Wouldn't you wanna know if something bad was gonna happen, so you could warn them?"
"How could we warn them? They don't exist."
"You haven't been off the island lately, have you? Of course they exist, they exist about 100 kilometers East of here."
"Where? Hollywood? It's a TV show, don't you get that?"
"Oh crap!" supermus shouted, interrupting Owl and Len's dialog.
"Care to elaborate, little man?" Nika queried, grinning.
"It's just a little thing I was doing last week. I was building a basic time machine. Foo in a coconut mixed with the saliva of an unspoiled person makes a fascinating temporal disturber. Anyways, I tried to use my saliva, as I'm currently unspoiled. But it didn't work, it needed someone who's never been spoiled. I figured it just did nothing, but I'll bet it put us from our dimension to the Jossverse. It would explain why we haven't been able to access the kitten. I just figured Novogate was seriously down. So who's up for a game of naked tennis?"
"supermus, this is NOT the time," Katharyn responded. "We need to figure out how we can get back. I mean, from what Michelle has told us about what's been up in Sunnydale, they're like four months behind us here. So who did you think was living here? Michelle?"
Unfortunately, Michelle was unable to respond. She was slightly distracted. Naked people on Space Hoppers tend to do that to a person.

I'm thinking I might want to go for a kinda Seargant Pepper-esque vibe, where instead of the story ending, it just turns into another story. Maybe something with a goat...

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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

Owl · **Posted:** Tue Mar 19, 2002 2:34 pm

HA!
Supermus, this is really funny! I was going to respond even before I saw "Owl" apparently arguing with len, but now I just have to say something. Thanks! that was like a big ole frickin' birthday present! You make me feel like a real islander. Now i must bake you a special cheesecake....or give you an erotic pudding dance or something.

Anyhow, I would love to see the further adventures of Agent MKF. What could happen! My god! the possibilities are endless! So, consider that a "yes, please!"

I'm glad you said what "WSS" means, because I had decided that it meant, "We're Soooo Spoiled!"

P.s. My name really is Owl.
no, really.

supermus · **Posted:** Tue Mar 19, 2002 4:28 pm

Yep, it's the "snacking on peanuts, waiting for dinner, pissed that there's no Buffy on FX today" edition. See, i've discovered the secret to long writing. Filler and procrastination. If you put off writing the big stuff, you get the real meat.

Chapter 7: Maybe we Should Slap Her
Snap, snap, snap, went Owl's fingers. "Michelle? Michelle?" SMACK! "Wake up dammit!"
"Huh, what, huh?"
"What was that?" Pixie pondered.
"Oh, I'm used to taking short naps in inappropriate places. Probably a cat thing. So, you gonna help us or not?"
"Depends," supermus replied. "What are you guys up to?"

The newly informed kittens were willing and eager to join in WSS, after they were assured that the Spoilerbus is a complete misnomer, carrying no spoilers of any kind. "Agent Ruth, I have some bad news. The island was a total bust. We did pick up some new recruits. The ASK division is on it's way back with us to the mainland. Any new leads?"
"Negative Michelle. Though we did get a very interesting visitor."
Agent Ruth looked across the table at the blonde woman in front of her. "You say your name is Tara Maclay?"

Damn, THAT was short. Here's some more.
"Tara, I have one small question. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Michelle shouted. "This is a secret sneaky quasi-government instituion. Did you try to just walk in the front door?"
"No, that's ridiculous. I used the back door," Tara smirked. "I figured they'd give you a call if I told them too."
"I refrain: What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you, sweetie."
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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

supermus · **Posted:** Tue Mar 19, 2002 6:45 pm

It's the "Sorry I'm late, Time was flying in the Tabula Rasa-induced hilariosity" edition. Incidentaly, I added titles to all of the previous posts. Man I suck at titles.

Chapter 8: If you want to...
"Okay then, why were you looking for me?"
"Well," Tara said, "I figured if you were going on vacation, you might want some extra Cool Monster Fighter expertise," Tara said with a wicked grin.
"Actually, vacations over. I did get some new buddies though," she replied, and pointed to the line of kittens bowing down behind her, muttering vaguely "It's her, it's her..."
"Geez, I guess I've got some fans," Tara cracked.
"You have NO idea," Michelle quipped back. "Though to be fair, I'm not sure Ruth would enjoy a civilian on the team."
"Civilians are highly underrated. Sometimes they do amazing stuff, like removing Uranium cores, and-". She cut herself off as she was bordering on rambling at this point, which inevitably leads to babbling, which can cause the pain and heartbreak of nonsensicality.
"So," Tara asked, "if we're not heading to the island, where are we going?"
"First of all," Ruth cut in, "there is no we. You're not invited. And second of all, the real agents here are going to Alabama."
"Ruth, come on," Michelle pleaded.
"No, Michelle. We can't put her in danger."
"Hey! Standing right here people!" Tara shouted. "Now I have more experience in these things than those people combined," she said, pointing to the still-bowing line of ASK agents. "So if you're too worried to let me come, then bite me!"
The room was frozen in silence. Even the poor little kittens were bowing noiselessly.
"I think we can work something out," Ruth offered meekly.

God I suck. I forgot to add on the chapter tag and I made it TOO SHORT!

Willow logged on to her AIM account from her laptop upstairs. Wiccahaccer, she thought. Note to self: Change that. As she checked over her buddy list, which she hadn't taken anyone off of in like two years. EarthSpirit18? Tara? Let's check out that away message. "Off to have a chat with my kitty in a secret government installation. Call back later when I've fulfilled my Cool Monster Fighter duties."? What?

Dawn had to hear the knock four times before it registered through her headphones. "Who's there?"
"It's Willow. We need to talk."
"No, we don't."
"It's Tara. I think she's up to something."
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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 19, 2002).]

supermus · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 2:02 pm

Yep, it's the "four posts with no interruption?" afternoon edition. I'm running a little late today though, usually I'd have it out by now(the time I started writing it, not the time I posted it) Anyways, time for another Michelle-Branch-inspired title that has little relevance but sounds pretty.
Chapter 9: You saw the beauty in everything, everything and me
"Alabama eh?" Tara asked for the millionth time. She didn't like Alabama. Bad memories involving carnivals. And goats.
"Yes, we're going to Alabama. It's the perfect place to hide out. It's got decent, down-home people who never suspect you're out for mass genocide."
And murderous goats Tara thought. "And we have to bring along the groupies?" she asked, pointing to the ASK branch of WSS. "They've got their amount of expertise, even if they are a bit... creepy," Michelle replied. They looked up for a moment with sad looks, but the sight of Tara brought their smiles back.
"Why's he doing it anyway? What's his motivation?"
"Revenge," Michelle replied simply.

"Hey, well at least Tara *found* Miss Kitty," Dawn said, always the optimist. "Maybe it was just a jokey message. I mean, who leaves stuff like that in an away message if it's real?"
"Tara," Willow replied, her voice soft and sad.

"Good god that's a lot of bus. I mean, I know it's a charter bus, but... good god that's a lot of bus," Tara mused wide-eyed, looking at the gigantic bus that would take them to Alabama from the undisclosed location of WSS HQ. It was a lot of bus. Aside from sheer mass, it had TVs in the back of all the seats, built-in PS2s, and lots and lots of pudding. And a new feature: Transdimensional DSL, capable of accessing websites that exist only in other dimensions. The kittens all agreed that their heads were going to explode if they were off the island AND off the Kitten.

Wow. That was SO NOT long. Off to think about "Chapter 10: When the pawn hits the... Oh never mind."

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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

Owl · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 3:15 pm

Heeeeeey Supermus!

alabama, eh? and... that's some bus. what's ask stand for? did i miss it?
i wanted to tell you that i don't mind if the updates are short just as long as they keep coming. ready for more now.

supermus · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 3:44 pm

Owl, ASK is Anti-Spoiler Kittens. I just luuuuurve creating acronyms and not telling anyone what they mean. Adds to suspense. I've decided to completely ignore what had actually happened after Wrecked. It makes it easier to make a long story if you ignore what the characters are supposed to be doing .
Time for the "Early Linner and I can't think of anything cool to say" edition.
Chapter 10: When The Pawn Hits the... Oh never mind
"Is th-that a carnival?" Tara asked. Not exactly a good thing to see on her way into town. Just her luck that a carnival would be passing through Leevile, Alabama at the same time as the bus.
"Well we don't exactly have time to win a prize," Michelle replied with a grin.
"You never did explain why you wanted Willow and I on this."
"It's cuz of this," she replied, pulling a charm off her neck. It was two spirals back to back, so it was like on big spiral slide. Well, one small spiral slide. "My mother gave it to me when I was 5. She taught me all I know about practicing. She said it's like a mystical amp. But it needs a plug to fit into. It's hard to get it working, it needs a connection. I figure you and Willow could use it to good effect, but maybe now it'll have to be you and me," she explained, giving Tara another vixen grin, but she was shot down witha "no" stare from Tara.
"Where does it plug into anyways?" Tara asked. Michelle's only reply was a wicked grin. Tara thought for about .5 seconds, and slapped Michelle hard on the face. "I know Willow and I are broken up, but that doesn't mean you can just..." she shouted, and left to the back of the room hurredly.

10 miles behind Willow and Dawn, who had long sincec traced Tara's laptop on the move, were following the way into Leevile. "You're sure Buffy won't miss us?" Dawn asked for the billionth time.
"I left a note. I'm sure she'll understand." Sure. Buffy'll understand that you just took her little sister on a dangerous mission to find Tara. On a weekend no less! Willow thought to herself. Hopefully they'd be back far before Sunday night.

Right. Like I'd end the story that soon.

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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

supermus · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:29 pm

I was just on the spoiler-free thread and was inspired to write another edition. The "That's one pissed off animal cracker" edition
Chapter 11: L'hippo a pique' ses pantalons
That was one angry animal cracker. Around him in a circle were cracker lions, tigers, and bears. In the center, Mr. Hippo and the monkey in question, Jean-Luc. "I want pants!" Mr. Hippo shouted at Jean-Luc. "I have my hippo dignity!" The cheers or jeers from the crowd of blood-lusty animal crackers(note: blood-lust is a serious medical condition in animal crackers, believed to be incurable as animal crackers have no blood). Mr. Hippo, who was amazingly spry for a gigantic beast, threw swipe after swipe at Jean-Luc, who was determined to keep his monkey pants. Finally, Mr. Hippo had them in his grasp. "I am victorious!" He shouted. "The hippo stole my pants!" the now naked Jean-Luc whined. "Wake up! Wake up!" his agonized cries sounded. Tara woke with a start to find a comforting face standing over her. At least it was comforting for about 2 seconds before she wondered what exactly Dawn was doing on the bus, or in Alabama for that matter.

"I had to let her in! This is Dawn. She always had treats for me, and warm, comforting pets," Michelle argued, though at the end her eyes shone with the daze of nostalgia.
"What about basic security? Do you really think it's safe to have a little kid on here?!"
"I'm NOT a-" Dawn started, but she was silenced by a glare from Tara.

"Oh really funny Willow," Buffy muttered under her breath. "Dawn! Come down here! You need to eat something! Dawn?" Buffy started to get worried. She reached for the keys to Willow's car, but alas, they were nowhere to be found. "Oh, crap!"

Edited to add: I've reached another junction. Do you want Michelle to make another pass at Tara and get the sh*t beat out of her, or have them form a nice, angst-free, friendship?
------------------
Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 20, 2002).]

Cicca · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 7:37 pm

I think Michelle should behave herself!
I sympathise with her, but no no no! Tara and WILLOW belong together! Not Tara and her kitty. *proud of myself for resisting naughty puns*

supermus · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 7:57 pm

Well, what would happen is Michelle would hit on Tara, and Tara would hit Michelle hard in the nose with an uppercut and throw her off the bus. But thanks sincerely for responding! I'm need . But prepare to see your name tomorrow! I'll check it out the thread tomorrow morning before I leave and make my decision.

Owl · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 7:59 pm

Hello, supermus!
Yay! I can't believe you used the animal crackers! You were going to do that anyway, right? I didn't change the whole course of history by asking that question, did I? *looks guilty and penitent*

I don't ordinarily like to step in, but in this matter, I sorta agree with Cicca. Unless Michelle is just flirty with everyone, which would make sense for a cat... hmmm.

LMAO, Cicca! and, uh... good on you for keeping your post sparkly clean! Dentists should be so lucky. *befuddled* did that even make sense?

willntlover · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 10:04 pm

i think we should have miss kitty opps, i mean humanized kitty get decked then kicked off the bus!!!! Lovin the story
-Will

[This message has been edited by willntlover (edited March 21, 2002).]

Wiccagrrl · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 10:56 pm

supermus, this is really fun more, please.

Cicca · **Posted:** Wed Mar 20, 2002 11:17 pm

Poor Michelle! I like her! I really do! She's been a cat and all... I vote for her being flirty with everyone, but not seriously. I think Tara might suffer emotionally is she has to deck her beloved kitty. *pulling my brain out of the very confusing and weird not-dirty pun place*

And Owl, I think you've got the wrong medical specialty there. *innocent grin*

I have to send hugs to whoever out together those three pics at the bottom. They just make me quiver!

[This message has been edited by Cicca (edited March 21, 2002).]

Owl · **Posted:** Thu Mar 21, 2002 1:39 am

*Owl sits at computer reading, very slow on the uptake* ....wrong medical spec....
*realizes* *gasps* *blushes*

Cicca! could you be any naughtier!? could you?

Pixie · **Posted:** Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:23 am

supermus, I'm so sorry I'm late to the party that is this story. *brings supermus a fruity drink and a bottle of baby oil in penitence* This is hysterical. Love the acronyms, the bus, the bowing, the foo! But I'm getting on the "Michelle shouldn't hit on Tara anymore" bandwagon.

quote:
*Owl sits at computer reading, very slow on the uptake* ....wrong medical spec....
*realizes* *gasps* *blushes*
Cicca! could you be any naughtier!? could you?

I know what you mean, Owl, I was a little slow too. And don't encourage her! You know she can be naughtier! On second thought, do encourage her...

*Pixie takes some popcorn from wiccachica and settles in to the thread, waiting for more.* quote:

supermus · **Posted:** Thu Mar 21, 2002 2:12 pm

All right, the cries have resounded from the hills to *downs fruity drink* NOT have a Michelle/Tara confrontation. I was kinda lookin' forward to writing that, but it would probably IMPOSSIBLE to come back from. So, here's my decision in the "another stupid irrelevant(or is it irreverant?) title" edition.
Chapter 12: Don't You Hate Socks?

Smack! Bam! Other silly comic book noises! Tara kicked Michelle's ass all the way to the back of the bus. "Why do you think you can" PUNCH! "just swoop in and" SMACK! "take me? What the hell is wrong with you!?" She kicked open the door in the back of the bus. SWOOSH! went Michelle through the air. The bowing kittens took a few seconds away from bowing to shoot frightened and confused looks at Tara. After a few seconds, she said, "No ticket."

"Wow," she said as she woke with a start, "my dreams are getting WAY to literal."
"Maybe you should just stop falling asleep," Michelle replied. "Your dreams only bring badness." An uncomfortable silence dawned between them. "Look," Michelle started, feeling someone had to break the silence, "I'm sorry about yesterday. It's just, you're the only person I really knew for a year and a half. You and Willow. I'm kinda that way with everyone, but you're..." she drifted off, but before she could finish she was cut off by Tara, "Don't finish that sentance. I'm just gonna... go."

Outside, Willow and Dawn were getting supplies from the gas station the bus was parked at. "Are you sure you wanna go baby? The party just started," Tara said as she stepped out of the bus. Willow and Dawn weren't sure who Tara was talking to.

"It's Sunday," Dawn replied. "I have school tomorrow." A definite pout was on her face. With a kiss on the forehead goodbye, Willow and Dawn hit the road back to SunnyD, now reassured that Tara was safe, at least for the moment.

It's worthy to note, however, that Tara had not told them what she was doing in Alabama, just that she was on a "road trip". Gullible's not in the dictionary for them, is it? Tara stared at the car driving off, and then at the carnival on the other side of the gas station. Shudder.
"All right Michelle. Let's get down to work."

Yup, I had my cake and ate it(and threw it off the bus) too. Now, should I branch off into a completely different plotline, or go ahead with the Dr. Mors genocide thing I've mentioned earlier?

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 21, 2002).]

supermus · **Posted:** Thu Mar 21, 2002 4:21 pm

Wow. I made it to two pages. This is like the longest thing I've ever written . Time for the "Give props to the kittens kind enough to reply" edition, AKA the "You would not believe how out of ideas I am" edition.
Chapter 13: Clichés: the instrument of the true humor writer
As much as it pained her to think about it, it pained Tara to see Willow go. Just that slight exposure had burned her deep. But she had almost as pressing matters at hand. The strange line she was proud to be a part of approached the clichéd mansion, complete with windy road and a thunderstorm concentrated entirely over the house. The First Flank of WSS was approaching the building with coconut/foo weaponry, not to mention fancy technological laser stuff, and umbrellas. Tara, Michelle, Owl, Pixie, Katharyn, Willntlover, ForeverPiper, Cicca, Wiccagrrl, and of course supermus, who for reasons that no one(including him) will ever understand has his name in lowercase. Incidentally, supermus and Owl in the lead as they had replied to some kitten board post the most . Now on to the real action, which hopefully does not include narcicistic ramblings.

"Careful, the welcome mat may be booby-trapped. This is a horror cliché after all," Tara pointed out, holding the agents back with her gun. The coconut launched at the mat fell straight through to a hidden chute underneath, where it was hacked to pieces by really silly cartoon weaponry. "Let's go"

Inside, they were careful to note the huge X's and laser beams all over the wall. Michelle prepared to do a really complex jump through all of the lasers when Tara came up with a much better idea. "How 'bout we just conjur a floating mirror? Might save us just a teensy bit of time."

All of the people mentioned above formed a circle, holding hands to gather power. The Kittens got huge grins on their faces at the mere prospect of holding hands with Tara. In the center of the room a huge, all-encompasing mirror ball appeared, shooting the lasers back at different lasers, at the conviently correct angles to blow them all up at once. Rushing upstairs, they found ten men manning ten cannons pointed from one side of the hallway to the other.
"What's with the cannon?" Pixie asked in confuzzlement.
"It's traditional," they all replied in unison.
"All right, this in gonna require some Matrix-esque anti-gravity moves like in every movie made in the past two years," Wiccagrrl pointed out. "On one, two, go!"
"Hey, what happene to three?"
"We go on three"
"Shouldn't it go one, two, three, go?"
"But then we would be going on four. It's a three second count."
"Yes. But you start on one, so there's one sec between 1 and 2, one between 2 and 3, and-"
"Shut up already! Let's just one, two, three, go!"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 21, 2002).]

Owl · **Posted:** Fri Mar 22, 2002 12:58 am

supermus-

you are one wacky fella. oh yes. Mirrorballs never fail to grab my attention. yay!
I do want to ask you this: What the hell kind of millenium falcon, hyperspace, souped-up, crazy fast, speedracer superspeedy vehicle gets Willow and Dawn from SunnyD to Alabama in no time?
And... for the kicker... Is it environmenatlly friendly? If so, I want one.

Wiccagrrl · **Posted:** Fri Mar 22, 2002 1:23 am

Woo and hoo, I'm in the fic!!! Thanks, supermus. Very cute. And love how you managed to get your Michelle/Tara confrontation in without, ya know, actually going there Very kewl.

supermus · **Posted:** Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:13 pm

Hi guys! It's the "not only is it Friday afternoon but the one before Spring Break!" edition. Ah, how I hate shoes. And socks. But never mind that, I have writing to do, and crazy titles to think up.
Chapter 14: Wow, only 14 and I'm already losing count
"One, two, three. go!"
"Hold on! Wouldn't it be much simpler to use a spell to fire off the cannonballs simultaneously so that they wouldn't be loaded anymore? Why do we have to do this secret agent crap!?" Tara asked.
"We are secret agents," Wiccagrrl replied sarcastically. "But your idea is much better."
A few minutes later they were formed in a circle. "Hey Tara," Pixie asked, "is this gonna be like that time you and Willow accessed the Nether Realms? Cuz that was pretty-" she was cut off by a confuzzled stare from Tara.
"How do you..." she started, but was interrupted by Michelle.
"It's kinda complicated. It involves parallel universes, you on TV, and I think a goat, but I wasn't sure."
All Tara said in reply was no it wouldn't, but her mind was abuzz with thoughts of her being on TV. "H-How much do they sh-show of me and Willow?"
"Oh," Owl replied, "don't worry. Network censors don't like that kind of thing. Damn tragedy is what it is, but you probably see an upside."
"Hey we gonna start this or what," supermus cut in. "Cuz I'm getting kind antsy."
"You're not even in the circle. What do you care?" Michelle asked, somewhat snippily.

"Let the weapons fly. Discharge them, bleed them dry. Send the fire to the sky. Let the weapons fly."
It was a basic incantation, designed to cause any kind of loaded weapon to lose it's power. Convieniently, it fired off the cannons. While there were shiny new holes in the wall, there weren't any in are agents. The men manning the cannons were stupid enough so that they thought the best course of action was to sit around and wait for the cannons to load themselves. Our heroines and heros took this opputunity to make their way down the hall.
"Hey, wait a second," ForeverPiper pointed out, "how come there are only ten of us? Wasn't there supposed to be a second flank?"

Meanwhile, the second flank was busy at the carnival. Apparently they had gotten so swept up in getting conned out of their money that they had completely forgotten about their mission. I'll show them a shifty pair of eyes hiding behind a curtain thought. They've never seen the likes of Freddy the Wonder Goat

Arg. I'm stupid. I called this Chapter 13, which makes the title ironic because I gave it that title before I knew I had the wrong chapter number.
And To anwer a question: Willow and Dawn left shortly after they had their little conversation, about the same time Tara and co. left. A fair amount of time passed between that and when we pick it up with them in Alabama. So it's not that weird.
------------------
Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would've done. So I missed a million miles of fun"

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 22, 2002).]

The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

The Zany Misadventures of MKF

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