Ah how I love saturdays. I'm kinda mad I missed Amber on A&E an hour ago. My timing sucks . But I think being able to sit under a heated blanket more than makes up for it. Now for the "two updates and the morning's still, well, middle-aged at least" edition.
Chapter 18: I Told You Carnivals Were Evil!"Ha Ha. Very funny missy," a menacing voice from the shadows called out.
"The goat can talk?" Wiccachica whispered. "I mean, I know he somehow managed to tie us up, but talking?"
"I'm not a GOAT!" the voice shouted, walking out of the shadows, revealing itself to not only not belong to a goat, but to not be disembodied as well. "Oh yes, I'm quite embodied," it proclaimed, apparently replying to me. Hey, you're not supposed to hear me! "Oops. My bad. Continue narrating. The story's just getting interesting." I will, thank you very much. Anyways, further proving his non-goatness, he called out "Here Freddy. Come here Fredbob!"
A goat, presumably Freddy the Wonder Goat, walked onto the scene, bleating "Baa ba baa baba," literally, "Don't call me Fredbob! I hate that name!"
"So are we gonna go for the full-on cliché where you tell us all the details of you're plan and then manage to have us all escape so we can thwart it or just kill us and save us the pain of listenting to you talk?" Tara questioned him.
"Oh no, I've seen waaay to many Bond movies for that one to work. Damn Sean Connery, always outsmarting the bad guys."
"Actually, I liked Timothy Dalton," Owl chimed in.
"Timothy Dalton? What are you, retarded?"
"Hey Timothy Dalton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it!"
"As fascinating, by which I mean annoying, as this discussion is, can we cut to the chase?" Michelle asked.
"I doubt you would want to. The chase is the part where you all die."
"Die? Why would you want to kill us!?" supermus asked.
"You interrupted me! Look at the sign!" He said, pointing to a sign that said "Trespassers will be prosecuted," with "prosecuted" cut out and replaced with "killed".(Anyone know how to do the cross-out font?)"If I put up with that kind malarkey, my army of sentient coffeemakers will never get finished!"
"You aren't by any chance Dr. Mors are you?"
"That moron? I chased him out of town as soon as he tried to set up shop. I'm Ted. Well, my real name is Winited, but everyone calls me Ted. But enough about me, any last requests?"
"Um, I request to not die?" Pixie suggested.
"Request: DENIED!" Ted shouted, voice full of malice and impatience. "Now on to the killing."'
It's noteworthy that when I started writing this, it was 10:30, so the above comment about A&E made more sense.
And I actually finished it like five minutes ago but my computer sucks. It keeps screwing up. Yup, I tried like six times before it worked, and then it double posted. ARG!
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Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's *fight* that evil! - Let's *kill* something!
"Nothing gets in the way of fate. Not time, not space, not distance, no person or creature. Not even death. Eventually fate will bring them together."
- Excerpt from Katharyn's "The Sidestep Chronicles"
[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 23, 2002).]