Rah! I was sent home to ‘rest and recuperate’, and since writing this fic has been kind of therapeutic for me, I’ve written lots more. Sorry for the double post, but here’s the next bit for you… steaminess The first paragraph you may not like… I don’t like it either, but I see something like that happening to Tara that drove her back into herself as a teenager.
And Brynn, think I’ve decided to write Willow… not sure if it’ll work but we’ll give it a whirl anyway… coming soon.
Rating: R (I think - xita, edit if I’m wrong please…)
Couples: W/T natch.
Spoilers: It’s set in its own separate little W/T universe really – pretty much spoiler free.
Archiving: Of course… just let me know, K?
Feedback: Yes please… self-confessed feedback whore here.
Disclaimer: Joss is God, Amber and Alyson are Goddesses, Mutant Enemy and UPN own all. I just play.
Notes: There is no plot to really speak of. I’m going down the Jossian road of ‘character development’ and seeing what happens. All set in Tara’s head.
The Dreamer - Part 4
‘When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.’
- Patrick Overton
Her tongue is dipping deeply into me, her fingertips touching my face with a feather lightness. She’s moving slowly and gently above me, her body melded to mine. Only our bodies could fit this well, I know that. I’ve kissed people before and wondered what the fuss was about; I’ve tried sex and found it jarring and awkward and painful. In the past, intimacy left me feeling dirty and angry with myself, angry that I let a boy do that to me. I should have been stronger, defended myself more, understood that sex meant more. Not that it was forced on me. I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing. Thought if I didn’t that made me odd, or frigid, or maybe I was just curious, like we all are. And by then, Mom was so different, was so changed by… everything… that I guess she just wasn’t there to tell me different. But it didn’t work and I hated it, and I never wanted it to happen again. The first, and only other, time I kissed a girl it was different; soft, gentle, it tasted different. It did something to me that I loved. But she wasn’t for me, I knew that and she wasn’t really interested anyway. She left me knowing more about myself though; I knew I would never let men touch me again and I knew that the feelings I had for women were important, that they would be important.
And the first time I kissed Willow, the first time she, or I, closed the gap (we can’t remember who it was)… that was… indescribable. That was the moment we both knew it was perfect. She was holding me and all the awkward, mumbling, blushing moments that had characterised ‘us’ up until that point were over. My arms wrapped themselves round her taut little body and we just found that we fitted, we were made for each other. We gravitate towards each other always; I won’t sit down on the opposite side of a room if there’s a space anywhere nearer to her. And we never just kiss with our lips. Everything else has to be involved as well; hands, faces, bodies, as much skin as we can get.
“Come…” she says, suddenly pulling away from me. I moan, almost inaudibly, at the loss of her lips on mine and she smiles. She’s levering herself off me and climbing off the bed, her hand gripping mine and pulling me with her. I get up and stand beside her next to the bed. She bends her head and kisses my shoulder, and raises her eyes to mine with an ‘I love you’ gaze for a split second. And then she’s pulling me towards the bathroom. She skips ahead and reaches into the shower cubicle to flip the switch. Bonus of dorm rooms: constant hot water.
“I thought I wasn’t getting morning sex?” I say, raising my eyebrows at her and grinning.
“Who says you are?”
“I’m getting hot steaminess anyway and that’s good enough for me…” I step into the shower and hold out my hand to her. I love that first second when you tip your head back and into the stream of water, soaking yourself completely and letting it drench you. Willow’s hands slip up, following the curves of my shoulder blades and clasping behind my neck. She joins me under the stream of water and her face nuzzles into my neck, tiny light kisses dousing me. Her hands move down and bring me closer, caressing my back and sliding down my spine. My eyes still closed, tilted up into the water, she is all I can feel.
My mind is falling into that place where I can’t form coherent thought. Willow’s hands and lips are everywhere, kissing, biting, slipping over wet skin. Her touches leave lines of fire all over me. I feel my desire rising and becoming frantic, and I can’t stop myself pushing her backwards, pushing myself onto her harder. Her thigh is between mine and is pushing hard up into me, leaving me breathless.
“Which shampoo shall I use?” she suddenly asks, inbetween kisses. This time I groan loudly.
“Willow! God, woman!” She pulls back and eyes me innocently, as if she doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about. “You’re evil, d’you know that?!”
She blinks, playing dumb, and pulling an unbelievable cute face at me. There’s no point in even trying though. She’s already bending to pick up the shampoo. When she appears back in front of me again she’s grinning though. I pretend to slap her and she just pulls me in for another kiss, teasing this time, her tongue darting in and out, biting my lip. I end up laughing into her mouth and she joins me, giggling helplessly, until we’re standing with the water streaming over us, mouths and foreheads still together and my hands still cupping her cheeks, laughing like muppets. She starts tickling me and I squirm manically until she stops and pulls me into a hug. I can feel her hands moving behind my back and she soon reaches up and starts massaging shampoo into my hair. Her fingers move in slow circles on my scalp, rubbing the shampoo in and down the length of my hair. Smiling, she turns me round and her hands slip through my hair again and again. Her body is pressed up against my back, as close as she can get as always. Wet slick skin on wet slick skin. My favourite way to start the day.
“What d’you wanna do with our day off?” she asks. I tilt my head back into the curve of her neck and she slips an arm over my shoulder and pulls me close. She plants three little kisses on my neck.
“How about we go explore?” I say.
“Explore what?” she asks, in between kissing my shoulderblade.
“Somewhere we’ve never been before… what about Daniel’s Hill! We’ve always said it looks lovely up there and we’ve never gone...” Will reaches to the shelf before me for the shower gel and pours some into her cupped palm.
“Like an expedition?”
“An expedition, yeah…” I smile, and then smile some more as her hands begin sliding wetly over my breasts, cupping them carefully, rubbing and stroking.
“We could take a picnic! Sandwiches and gummy bears?” She’s obsessed with gummy bears. I faux-sigh, but it makes me giggle. Her fingers are playing with my nipples, twisting and squeezing them. They were already erect but she’s now teasing them wickedly.
“Yeah… gummy… oh, Will, don’t stop…” Her hands move further down my body, lathering me with soap everywhere.
“Not stopping. Merely making you clean for our big expedition.” Her hands are removed, and when I turn to face her she’s grinning and lathering her own body. She loves the feeling of when we’re both covered in lather and sliding everywhere. I pull her to me and kiss her again. I’m always amazed at how good my body is at achieving what I want it to even when my mind is lost in her. My hands are deftly tipping gel onto the curve of Willow’s ass and beginning to circle, covering her back in bubbles. I kiss my way down her neck slowly and lick a path between her breasts. Rose bud nipples, perfect in every way, and my mouth devours them. Her hands are everywhere and I take a moment to pause and marvel at the movement of the muscle in her upper arm. Skin, sinew, bone; she’s amazing. You always know the human body is incredible but you never KNOW it’s incredible until you get to know another body better than your own. And I still notice something new everyday, that's what I love most.
She giggles suddenly. I can feel her laugh reverberate inside her chest, below my lips. “Can we take Miss Kitty on the expedition too?” I smile and look up.
“She can find the North Pole for us…” I murmur. She wraps her arms round my neck and pulls me up to her again. Her eyes staring into mine, our silent connection that was there forever, and then her lips are on mine once more, entering and loving in that way that only Willow can. The water streams down over us and I think maybe the phone is ringing, but neither of us cares. This is us, Willow and I, doing what we do best; loving each other.
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"Appalling. Almost as if they no longer believe money can buy happiness..."
