The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe Willow & Tara Forever

by **tommo** » Mon Aug 20, 2001 3:59 am

Well I think Joss brought up the parallels between spells and sex, knowing that they had to have a pretty good metaphor seeing as they couldn't show anything on tv. But it works in this fic, even down to the fact that, if either witch is troubled, then the 'spell' usually isn't any good...

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"She looked across at Willow, whose face was filled with light. She had never felt so calm and happy, and strong..." ~ Unseen: Door To Alternity

by **Katharyn** » Mon Aug 20, 2001 10:52 am

Thanks Legend, and Ruth - I missed Joss saying that entirely but it sounds pretty good anyway!

Anyway Part 7 Kitties. Late...

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Title: The Beginnings Cycle – Late (Currently Part 7)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Absolutely, just keep it constructive – katharynrosser@hotmail.com
Summary: During “A New Man” (Season 4) immediately after the Rose of Synchronicity is zapped by the backlash from Ethan’s use of magic though Willow and Tara do not know that is what happened at this point.
Spoiler Warning: Limited Spoilers for anything up to and including “A New Man” Reference also to some facts learnt in later episodes given the ongoing theme of Tara’s belief in her “demon” heritage.
Disclaimer: This may shock you but I don’t own any aspect of BTVS, or the characters herein. All rights reside with the copyright and trademark owners, writers and producers of the show. Nor am I making any profit out of this story or others in the cycle. In fact I am not making much profit out of anything!
Rating: PG13
Couples: On the way.
Notes: Just another step on the road.
Thanks To: The usual suspects (i.e. the cast, producers etc) but more personally to the kitties at the Kitten, Witches and Bad Wardrobe Board / Different Coloured Pens who seem to be liking all this drivel to some extent and most of all to L – she’s my always.

The Beginnings Cycle

Late

By Katharyn Rosser

‘Did you bring another?’ Tara asked still holding the stem of the rose careful to avoid the thorns not to mention being a little fearful after it’s recent unexplained antics.

‘No, not even a daisy. Didn’t think we would need one it’s supposed to be all about slow, careful control as we work together. Not being zappy and doing aerial displays,’ Willow replied. No that was definitely not in the manual.

‘Another time then…we were doing it though. Working in synchronicity I mean. I could feel the connection we had.’ Tara knew it had been there, the connection had just clicked into place. ‘Before-’

‘Yeah, did you feel that rush of power?’ Willow asked. ‘It was almost scary but in a sort of roller coaster kind of way.’

‘It wasn’t me.’ Tara replied, thinking back to a previous occasion when she had lost some control and the results had been, well hot and flamey – briefly at least. But with the conversation that had followed that and confirmed their friendship – it had certainly been worth it. Since then they had become closer as friends should be. Not just doing spells together but talking. Watching some TV. They didn’t go out, but that was just fine with Tara – she wasn’t a very out person – and she was more interested in getting to know Willow, her friend, than she was in drinking water in the local hangouts.

‘Nor me. I think that someone else was doing something. Something pretty powerful. Big magic,’ Willow thought about it and back to a back to a book she had read a few weeks previously – well it was more of a tome really. ‘Whatever it was raised like the magical background count. Sort of. I’m not sure.’ Willow was reluctant to pursue the theory she had read about but of which she was not sure of the specifics, she had kind of glossed over it in the search for other stuff. Nor was she sure of the actual truth behind the writings – if any. That was the trouble with what was written. It was true for some people, not applicable to others and some of it was out and out fraud.

‘What do you mean?’ Tara wanted to know, less versed in book learnt magical theory than her spell partner – though more aware of the traditions. And if the traditions weren’t helping here at all, maybe Willow’s books could. To be honest that concerned her slightly. Willow’s reliance on experimentation and modification of spells, She treated it like science. Tara had always been taught that Wicca was a tradition. A religion to some – but what was religion but belief in a traditional manner? There were ways to do things. But Willow, usually, got results so who am I, Tara wondered, to gainsay her. Course if could go ka-blooey either way.

‘I’m not sure as I said, but some of the newer tomes I read, you know written in the last half century, suggest that different places have a different ambient level of magic. Like the Hellmouth…a mystical convergence has a higher count than…well Cleveland.’ Willow explained. Half a century old and that was recent work…untested. That was the way magic was, not a lot of academic debate going on in this field. It was a weakness of magic in general and Wicca more than most. Tradition was, in her opinion, altogether too important. And such advances could be made….if people tried and communicated with other practitioners. Compared notes sort of.

‘And when someone uses magic it gets left behind?’ Tara surmised. ‘Like a fingerprint? Must have been pretty powerful though – to raise the…background count. Here I mean - at a Hellmouth.’

‘Yeah’ Willow was worried by that fact as well.

‘Do you recognise it?’ Tara asked.

‘Recognise it?’ Willow was unsure what Tara meant.

‘Well I can tell when you have done a spell or incantation. It sort of leaves your signature in the…background count I guess. Same with mine. There’s a different one when we do it together. I never thought about why that was before…I just accepted it as a given.’ Tara could see that Willow didn’t recognise what she was talking about. ‘You don’t get that?’

‘No, but you are more sensitive to the nuances of the magic works than I am. I’m theory girl.’ It was true – Tara could sense things that she could not, and the palm reading she had done on Willow the other night. Scarily accurate.

‘I thought you were pencil girl.’ Tara joked jabbing a finger at her as if it were a pencil.

‘Quit it pebbles.’ Willow hit back with her own reference to their experiences with simple levitation. ‘It’s true though you are more sensitive to the little disturbances. You’ve never sensed that – signature – before?’ Willow asked, knowing that she would have to report such an occurrence to the others. There was no guarantee that whoever, or whatever this was would just be crash landing occasional floating roses.

‘No. Do you have to go tell Buffy and Giles?’ Tara could almost see the indecision on Willow’s face. Was that a sense of duty? And something else. She appreciated now some of just what Willow’s life was. How important she and her “Scooby” friends were… to everyone.

‘No. It’s gone now…hasn’t it?’ Willow was reluctant to draw the evening to a close just because someone was trying something out…it might be nothing and if it was something the world hadn’t ended…and there wasn’t a crowd of demons running across the lawns. Well… She stood up and went to the window, just to make sure those lawns were actually clear.

‘I can’t feel anything. Nothing out there?’ Tara too was concerned. It wasn’t so very long ago that she and Willow had been chased around campus, and that boost of magic was either very close or very powerful. Or even worse…both.

‘No, all clear. It might even have been the Wicca group, they meet tonight don’t they?’ Willow observed with a wry smile. ‘What’s left of them anyway.’ Tara had found out some weeks ago that their leaving the group had also led some of the other disaffected to leave. Carol and Anne had cornered her and berated Willow to her for causing the problems. They had totally ignored – or perhaps missed – the fact that Tara hadn’t actually attended herself since Willow’s last appearance at the group. Which was the most annoying thing. They had gone through their list of people who had not returned, blamed Willow for that and totally ignored the only actual Wicca that they had.

‘If that was them then they have all changed into toads…or conjured the biggest pile of magical brownies the world has ever seen.’ Tara smiled again. ‘No, that wasn’t them. I think it was just one person…or one thing.’

‘Just one.’ Willow mused and then glanced over to the star they had traced in sand. ‘A lot of power there, dangerous? And what if it was? Not a lot she could do now, even if she could get to Buffy or Giles quickly they’d just sit around and research it all night. Morning would still come… hopefully. Anything that was going to happen tonight was going to anyway. Or had. What could go wrong really? ‘Shall I help you clear up?’ Willow asked, referring to the slightly smudged area of the circle her decision to not rush off confirmed with that simple question.

‘You don’t need to, I can….’ Tara started, and then saw Willow’s face and the rejection of her self-reliance and also that Willow had chosen to stay a while – that the Scooby’s had for once lost out to her. ‘Thanks.’ She went to the wall, knelt and started to collect the fragments of petals that had smashed against that wall and shattered before the crash landing…. ‘Willow since w-when do petals shatter?’

Willow, having collected Tara’s dustpan and brush from the cupboard came over, examining the tiny pieces. ‘Hey, it’s like those flowers they dip in liquid nitrogen. They freeze and shatter when you tap them. We had that in science once, Joey Fernandez dropped a sandwich in the flask the teacher fished it out and it slipped out of the tongues, shattered all over the floor.’

‘But these aren’t cold. Or hot. Just shattered.’ Tara tipped the bits into Willows hand, to let her feel them. ‘Surely they should just have crumpled, maybe fallen off. Look they still crumple…they aren’t sharp or hard. It’s like all the substance has been sucked out of them. The energy. Whatever it is that makes a petal soft is gone.’

‘Mmmn. Like desiccated. When you start altering reality or realities who knows what should happen. At least they didn’t blow up.’ Willow tipped the bits into the dustpan and knelt down to sweep up the sand that formed their circle. ‘You know we should invest in a dust buster. It takes days for this to come out properly. One day were going to have to draw a circle in a hurry and find ourselves inside a square too. That could cause a nasty accident.’

Tara was in agreement but surprised at the time to mention it. ‘Aren’t you bothered by what happened to the rose?’ It was all that was on Tara’s mind right now and yet Willow was strangely detaching herself from the events.

‘Of course - but we can’t do anything about it now, and we don’t know what happened anyway. I thought we could chat for a bit. You know…like we said get with the friend thing. Do a spell, get to know each other a little better. It’s the plan.’ Willow brushed off the occurrence for the reasons she gave…and also because she wanted a night off from the disasters that seemed to go hand in claw with Hellmouths. She wanted to be able to have a friendship without that. ‘We have to have a plan.’ Not that it was the most traditional way to get to know someone…planning it out, making time to be like ‘normal’ friends. But needs must…when the demons kept calling you away.

Tara smiled, the boot now on the other foot, Willow wanting to get chatty whilst she was obsessing about spells. ‘I can live with that plan. Want a drink?’

‘Anything but coffee,’ Willow replied.

‘You always say that. Doesn’t it agree with you?’

‘It makes me jumpy and a little crazy.’ Willow was obviously reliving some of her bad coffee memories as she spoke.

‘Heaven forbid you should get crazy,’ Tara joked. It was hard to imagine though Willow always seemed so in-control. But maybe that wasn’t her natural state. Maybe she was still recovering from her pain. And maybe I, Tara thought, can draw her out of that – because she has already told me that her other friends can’t or won’t. And she wants to. She needs to. She’s tried magic and found out how bad that idea was. And they won’t help her. Tara knew that pain of old and had suffered it alone. It wasn’t the time to be alone – a period in you life when you were in that kind of pain. You needed your friends to help you – not just be there. And I’m not her answer, am I? I could be. If she lets me. If I put myself forward.

‘It isn’t pretty….Hyper Willow.’ Willow replied thinking of her babbling and jumpiness inspired by coffee. ‘Just a little. Thanks.’ Willow took the proffered soda and opened it up. ‘You not having one?’

‘That’s the last. You drank them all,’ Tara accused, but good-natured. She wasn’t a soda fan anyway. Much more water gal.

‘Ooh sorry. I’ll bring some more next time. Share?’ she offered.

‘Thanks.’ Tara sipped from the can, passed it back. ‘Tell me about Buffy’s birthday? Did your surprise party go ok?’ The party had been occupying Willow’s mind and time for a week or so – they had not got a lot done magic-wise but that was ok because they had talked the party over, the plans. It was good for her to celebrate…because she knew that her friend was still hurting, and friendly as they might be aside from the magic there was not a lot going on here that could take Willow’s mind off Oz and the rest.

‘Yes, better than previous years anyway. Less monsters, no violent deaths and more cake.’

‘That’s good.’ Tara observed.

‘Absolutely cake is always good thing. And jelly. And ice-cream. All were to be had in abundance.’ Willow thought about it some more. ‘Sorry I didn’t invite you but it wasn’t really a –

‘It was your roommates birthday. Who I don’t know. With her friends and classmates – who I don’t know. Why would I be there?’ Tara was not at all bitter, just matter of fact.

Matter of fact yes, but there was an unpleasant truth lurking behind those facts – at least as far as Willow could see. She was avoiding taking Tara to meet her friends. Why? She wasn’t sure but it was nonetheless true. Infact she hadn’t even mentioned Tara’s existence to any of them. Not Buffy. Not Xander. None of them. Which was strange. They knew she was a practicing Wicca – literally practicing – so why did she have to say she was in the library or the lab? ‘You could have gone, but -’ Willow was interrupted again.

‘But I wouldn’t have known anyone other than you and you couldn’t always be hanging around with me if I had gone because you had to be with your friends…other friends,’ Tara was pleased to see Willow smile at that last afterthought. ‘So I would probably have sat quietly in a corner eating cake and embarrassing myself if anyone had actually spoken to me.’ Still matter of fact. ‘You don’t have to explain or apologise Willow. I’m used to being alone.’

The straightforward manner in which Tara concluded her statement of understanding almost broke Willow’s heart. Here was a wonderful woman who was never appreciated, as she deserved to be. Sure, Tara was shy, some of it was her own fault – but still. But what can you say to such a statement? To an admittance that this woman had come to accept her lonely status? Nothing that wouldn’t sound patronising or an argument for arguments sake. The fact was that she had left Tara here when she could have invited her, let her had a bad or good time but at least given her the chance to have that time. She wanted to apologise again, to tell Tara it wouldn’t happen again and it shouldn’t but what she actually said was ‘I’m glad you understand. Now you can have your cake.’ Willow reached for her bag and produced a paper napkin, folded around the cake. She could promise it wouldn’t happen again because she knew that she still wasn’t ready to introduce her new friend to her others. ‘And a hat.’

‘Do I have to wear it?’ Tara asked, unfolding the flimsy tissue paper crown.

‘Only whilst you eat the cake.’ Why couldn’t she bring herself to bring Tara out into the light? Why keep her hidden away? Maybe it was a danger thing. She could get hurt if she was exposed to Scooby-levels of monsters. But no that wasn’t it.

Tara put the crown on ripping it slightly as she pushed it too far onto her head.

‘Big head’ joked Willow. Maybe it was a selfish thing – did she want to be the only witch around? Was she jealous of that status. No that wasn’t true either. But it was a selfish thing though. I just want her to myself. My friend. Not Buffy’s or Xander’s. Mine. And that wasn’t fair on Tara not at all.

Tara just looked at her after that taunt.

And Willow wilted under the mock-glare. There was no one she had ever met less big headed than Tara Maclay. ‘Sorry.’ When she said sorry though it was for more than just the joke.

Tara smiled. ‘Want some?’ Tara offered a piece of the crumbly cake to Willow who shook her head with a little too much enthusiasm to be innocent. Tara understood why when she had tasted it. And almost spat it out despite being in company, which was not at all how she had been raised.

Willow smiled. ‘Well you said you wanted to know my friends better. Cake a la Xander and Anya. Fortunately not the main cake – which Anya was ticked off about but was definitely a good thing.’ The ex-demon had not been at all impressed – until she had tasted the cake she and Xander had baked and the proper one and castigated Xander for his choice of sample products. The girl was definitely judgemental.

‘Definitely - what is it?’ Tara asked, finally having managed to swallow the mouthful

‘Some taste test product Xander had. They sent him a trial pack and it said that you could make cakes out of them if you ground them up. So they did.’ Willow laughed. ‘Now you know. Xander and Anya are not master bakers.’

‘Good to know.’ Tara binned the rest of the cake, removed the hat and folding it carefully placed it on the desk well away from the crumpled napkin the cake had been delivered in – saving it.

‘We sort of ran out of cake before I could get you any – the real cake I mean. Sorry.’ Willow apologised again.

‘The way you say her name. Anya. You don’t like her do you?’ Tara observed and wanting to know what would turn this seemingly mild mannered woman against someone so vehemently – though she suspected that there were deeply felt passions within Willow that circumstances could awake – that she could be quite scary if she was aroused to it. Though probably not if she tried to be. If Willow tried to be scary it would probably come off as awkward, false and slightly ridiculous. She just wasn’t a nasty enough person to be that way. But if her feelings led her to anger and bitterness – as they had all too recently - then the world might shake. But perhaps that was a cliché about redheads and their tempers.

‘I mentioned she used to be a demon?’ Willow asked.

‘A few times.’ Tara chose not to pursue that aspect of Willow’s prejudice as it hit a little too close to home. Would Willow hate her this much within the year?

‘Well, did I mention that she tried to fool me into getting her amulet back – that it would make her a vengeance demon again? And it went – well more than ka-blooey?’ Willow was indignant even now that she had been fooled into that – more so because it had been a fit of her own pique that had allowed it to happen. If she hadn’t been feeling so sorry for herself that would never have happened. She had wanted to stop being used and was just used again. People wouldn’t have died at the Bronze if she had thought about it and not just reacted to some perceived slight. At least not from what she caused… the death count at the Bronze was pretty low that night though anyway – especially for Sunnydale. But that wasn’t a comfort. Infact it was made worse because it was sort of her – the evil twin – that caused them directly.

‘No. What happened? Singed eyebrows?’

‘Oh no. She triggered…we triggered…a portal to another reality where she had lost the amulet. But we missed it…the amulet I mean, but we brought back someone from there.’ Willow replied, in a manner that suggested singed eyebrows would be infinitely preferable to her.

‘Who?’

‘Me. Well kind of.’

‘You met yourself?’ Tara was curious now. ‘How were you?’

‘A vampire. Not one hundred per cent with it in the sanity kind of way…or even twenty percent really, actually five percent might be pushing the limits of credibility. And I was also…’ Willow trailed off and then continued ‘well…sort of gay’ she revealed as if that was more disturbing than the vampire part or the insanity.

Tara blinked. ‘Wow.’ A reflexive comment, but even she would have trouble specifying just what it was a reflex to – the whole scenario or some specific part of it? That last part? It made her think. It made an inkling she had buried and suppressed spring to life for a few moments. An inkling within herself of just why that might matter to her – even in alternate reality, or dimension or whatever it was. But it was an inkling that she could barely acknowledge – let alone half-seriously think about this was her friend…her only friend. But still…the inkling remained and aggravated her until she put it down fiercely.

‘Yeah. She went on the rampage for a while, but we sent her back to the nasty Sunnydale she came from. I kind of felt sorry for her though. Being bitten probably wasn’t her fault and there but for being bitten go I.’ Willow sounded as if she didn’t actually regret the incident, kind of wistful. The chances of being bitten round here were pretty high…is that what she would have become without a soul? Willow had often lain awake and thought about that and if she was honest apart from the insanity and the gay thing that might be her. With no soul – no self-doubt to hold her back. That might have been her. Would perhaps have been already if Spike had been able to bite her in her room and had turned her as he threatened. Well offered…

Tara continued - ‘Is that really what turned you against Anya? Sure it wasn’t her going after…and getting Xander?’ Tara knew of course that Xander also figured large in Willow’s thoughts. She had heard enough stories and had a pretty fair guess where the frustration with Anya might have come from.

‘I have to admit that annoyed me but I am well and truly over that now. Really. But it is par for the course.’ Willow smiled again. Taking the topic away from that aspect of Xander that she didn’t like to discuss. Not anymore. Not because she still harboured those wrong feelings but because of what they had done to her in the past.

‘Huh?’

‘Well Xander is kind of paranormal in his choice of love life. Giant preying mantis woman, Inca mummy girl, Cordelia – who barely qualified as human and an ex-vengeance demon. We are all doomed. I mean look at me too…werewolf…Buffy - vampire with a soul who loses it if she …makes him happy. Xander just does so much worse. It’s a good job we all have a sense of humour.’

‘He chose you. Once.’ Tara pointed out.

‘Wanna-be witch back then and that all worked out really well. Or not. I told you that right? I had wanted it for so long – but it was just a dream. That was all. When we were really…together…then it wasn’t right – I think we both knew it. And not because we were with others.’ Willow admitted to Tara. ‘We were friends…and that is what we were meant to be. In the grand scheme of things we weren’t meant to be anything more than friends no matter how much I dreamt about it.’

‘Yes. But though it might not have worked but he had some taste after all,’ said Tara trying to look on the bright side, and pay her friend a backhanded compliment. And couldn’t help wondering if that awakened inkling had sent her fishing. A little harmless fishing trip? Inklings after all weren’t even thoughts.

‘Gee thanks. Flatter me some more’ Willow replied caustically, though underlined with humour, it was not an incident of which she was at all proud – particularly now in the absence of Oz. Might he not have…strayed…if she hadn’t got involved earlier with Xander? It was irrational – she had refuted the possibility herself, but could it all be her fault? Could it all go back to that?

‘Maybe later’ Tara shot back quickly.

Broken out of that destructive train of thought Willow checked her watch. ‘Later? I think you might mean earlier. It’s gone three. I should go. Doctor Perez savaged the last person to fall asleep in his lectures. I don’t do well being savaged.’ Besides she’d spent enough sleepless nights worrying about why he had left… ultimately. And every night a different possibility emerged as prime candidate. Enough was enough. Though he might be back tomorrow, he had been gone long enough now for her to realise and finally accept that he might never return. It still hurt – a lot but for her own sanity she needed to realise that. And thought that she did now.

Tara could see Willow was thinking of something other than – or prompted by – their conversation. ‘You don’t have to. G-go I mean. You c-could stay over if you like,’ Tara blurted out. Seeming to surprise herself with the offer but once made it seemed like the perfect idea. At such a late hour, with no one to make sure Willow got home safe why not. That’s what friends do.

‘Really?’ Willow had never even thought of it. It made sense, being so late Buffy and Riley might have assumed she was not coming back and decide to…snuggle. ‘I don’t have any of my stuff.’

‘You can go home in the morning for it. I have to be up early anyway - do my laundry before the first class. I’ll lend you a shirt and a toothbrush.’ Tara offered. ‘And I’ll make sure you get to your lecture in time. Promise.’ She smiled, the nervousness hidden.

‘Aaah you are a wicked one…you have a spare toothbrush for…guests, for gentlemen friends?’ Willow joked.

Tara went bright red, embarrassed and ashamed at the insinuation despite the fact she knew it was a joke. ‘N-No, I just b-bought a n-new one.’ Her speech once again fell apart as she got distressed. And certainly she would never have one for “gentlemen friends” as Willow put it. Never that but how could Willow know that? The subject had never come up and she wasn’t about to raise it – besides it’s not like I’m…. practising…or even reading the theory. And aside from inklings not even thinking about it as much right now.

‘And a big bed.’ Willow followed up before realising just how she had affected Tara with her last statement. She stopped as Tara began to shift from embarrassed to almost distraught. Seeing the genuine distress the joke was no longer in the least bit funny. Willow gave over with the pointed humour and put a hand on her newest friend’s arm. ‘It’s ok, I believe you…’ Seeing the look still on Tara’s face ‘I didn’t mean anything but a joke, honest. And thank you…it is a bit late to be crossing campus alone.’

Tara’s expression shifted to a beaming smile, almost instantly, in spite of herself, ‘Especially when you know what is out there.’

‘Yes, it kind of puts a damper on the free spirited fun…at night at least.’ Willow frowned. ‘Not that I have ever really been renowned for my free spiritedness. Or fun.’

‘I never had a sleepover before.’ Tara mused, ‘My dad wasn’t much into that sort of fun for his only d-daughter.’ Truth be told her father was more than aware of her non-magical inclinations – had been since… Not that he had ever said a word of disapproval, not about that at least – but he had avoided situations with any connotations of those inclinations for her because he knew that Donny and her Aunts and Uncles would be nowhere near as understanding. They might tolerate her being a demon but being…the other. No. Closed minded on that front.

‘It’s not a sleepover until you can’t count the sleeping bags on one hand. This is more a…bed share.’ She paused. ‘You did mean for us to share the bed…or am I sleeping on the floor?’

‘I was thinking of letting you take a chair and sleep in the corridor’ Tara joked, in higher spirits now than at any time in the night so far, even when she had opened the door to her friend some hours ago. ‘Course you get part of the bed silly.’ Not that she had ever wanted a sleepover at home anyway. Lacking enough friends at school to get anywhere near Willow’s definition.

‘Oh that’s good. I once slept in the corridor after a party at Jesse’s house. People kept falling over me.’ Relieved Willow started to hunt for sight of the promised accessories. ‘Have you got the toothbrush?’ Willow asked.

‘On the windowsill, still in the box. I’ll get you the shirt whilst you wash up.’ Tara offered.

Willow left for the bathroom down the hall and Tara was alone in her room, but knew that she would not be spending another lonely night tonight. Surprised at herself if not shocked. This was not something she had planned on, or even really wanted. Until that moment when she had suggested it when it had come to mean more than it should to her in the last minutes. Inklings again. She almost felt dirty for even letting such inklings into her mind. Though she knew she had gained some feelings for Willow beyond friendship, she was in no way certain of herself at this point…let alone having any idea how to read the other young woman’s emotions and feelings in that regard. Besides everything she had learnt about Willow so far suggested that the red-haired woman would never have such inklings of her own and besides they were still trying to get to know each other as friends should – let alone anything else. The thought process was dangerous. It could lead to her being hurt when she had no right to even be thinking about such things. She couldn’t start to think about Willow that way. It would spoil everything they had and were getting.

She fished a long t-shirt from the drawer and left it on the edge of the bed, hurriedly changed, retrieved her own toothbrush and as Willow came in beat a tactful retreat to go wash up herself, departing with a smile as Willow thanked her for the shirt.

When she returned Willow had neatly folded her clothes and placed them on the back of the desk chair, standing at the end of the bed. Smiling at Tara as she came in ‘I didn’t know which side you wanted. After all it is your bed.’

‘I don’t mind, never really thought about it’ Tara replied.

‘Never had to share it?’ Willow asked and almost immediately regretted the question and all it implied. Oh way to go Willow. Let’s just start probing into her friends more intimate past. Wonderful conversation piece when you know how she reacts to stuff like this.

Embarrassed again Tara replied ‘N-No.’

‘Sorry, I just meant it’s kind of weird, sharing’ Willow stated. ‘Took me and Oz…’ She tailed off. ‘Enough of that.’

‘What?’ Tara asked, interested in the person who had shared Willow’s life and had so obviously shattered it by leaving. And that he had left…a gap in that life.

‘Enough looking back at what was,’ Willow resolved. ‘I have to accept that I may never see him again. Not that I want to accept it…I don’t. But I have to.’

Tara smiled. ‘OK, no looking back between three and seven a.m.’

‘Well alright then. I’ll take the left side…since I’m in it already,’ Willow offered after taking her choice anyway by climbing into that side. She would have moved if Tara had asked her to, but she knew that Tara wasn’t going to say a word…whatever she felt. Or wherever she needed to lie to be able to sleep. The other young woman needed a shot of self-confidence Willow thought…not that I am one to even think that myself let alone comment on others.

‘OK.’ Tara climbed into the other side of the bed, lay on her back for a second, reached out and turned off the bedside lamp that had illuminated the room. ‘Good night Willow.’

‘Good night Tara.’

They lay there for just a few minutes and then as fatigue borne of the late hour and spell casting set in turned over and, backs towards each other fell asleep in minutes. Separate and divided but not totally alone in the night.

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She's my always

The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe Willow & Tara Forever

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