Title: Blind Date
Spoilers: Basic season 6 stuff
Disclaimers: Disclaimers going out to Joss Whedon the genius behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who's lovable characters I am borrowing, but do NOT own. And shouts out to the people who bring us Blind Date and Change of Heart, my much appreciated source of entertainment on late night TV.
Notes: This Fic is set on the TV show Blind Date. Although it doesn't directly follow the outline Blind Date does. It's more a cross between Blind Date and another show, Change of Heart. I did this so that it would be possible to have Willow and Tara appear on the show and interviewed by the host.
The camera slowly pans across a dimly lit stage, as corny sub-pop-culture background music begins playing, and finally centers in on the large opening on the right of the stage as the lights go up and the applause of the crowd grows in anticipation for the big moment. And then with the camera closing in inch by painful inch, it happens. Out walks, the magnificent, the fabulous, the totally and completely glamorous, show hostest to put all show hostesses to shame! Buffy Summers!
"Hi everybody I'm Buffy Summers, and welcome to Blind Date! The show where we find two complete strangers and set them up on a once in a life time date they will never forget." By this time the applause of the crowd is deafening, and the sound producers are racing to control the volume transmitted to millions of television screens nation wide to prevent an outbreak of horrifying deafness.
The camera follows as Buffy makes her way towards a very comfortable looking red chair. Sitting down she unbuttons the top button on her dark denim jacket and crosses her legs, revealing just the right amount of skin as her skirt falls around the sides of her legs. The stage manager grins and gives her a 'thumbs up' sign. Mission successful. She has now sent half the male population running either to the bathroom, or searching madly for a blanket, claming that it's too cold.
With a well-timed toss of her long blond hair, Buffy waits patiently for the applause to die down to continue with the opening of the show. As the audience silences the camera moves forward for a close up. The camera man crosses his fingers, hoping he achieves the perfect shot, or he knows he'll be flipping burgers by tomorrow morning. With a signal from the stage manager, Buffy smiles into the camera, squints a little as she skilfully memorizes the queue cards and begins.
"We have a very special show for you tonight. Tonight we have a date that I myself set up, organized and made possible. I have two very close personal friends who broke up not too long ago, but are, of course, still madly in love with each other and just can't bring themselves to work it out, and are now stuck in a horrible 'we're only friends right now, but both of us are dying to be more' stage. So the producers of Blind Date and I agreed that if I could get both of my friends to agree to be on the show, we would set them up and send them out on their first official date since the break up. But of course our dark, ulterior motives would be unknown to them. And they would enter the date all innocent and unsuspecting. And then KABLAMO." Approving chuckles are heard in the audience as Buffy describes the cleverness of her plan with evil, childlike glee. "And therein lies the beauty of this show." Smiling her million-dollar smile, Buffy pauses to check with the stage manager for time. Rolling his fist, the stage manager signals wrap it up and send to commercial break. "So now let us cut to a commercial and when we return. We'll meet our daters and see what fate has in store for them the second time around." And with another perfect smile, Buffy sends the TV audience off. And the screen fades to black.