Should I be Ashamed?

[The Next Tara Maclay]

My mom says I shouldn't like Willow and Tara because of the whole lesbian thing, She says it is a bad influence,I know my mom is against the whole Will/Tara thing, But I was wondering if I should be a ashamed to be a fan of Willow and Tara...Can someone give me advice???

[Sam89]

HECK NO! Why should you be? So what if they are lesbians big deal. It's against my religion for someone to be gay and i don't care if someone is gay. Thats their choice. To be honest i don't believe that with my religion. Thats one of the things i throw out of my beliefs. I mean i got to a church where homosexuality is considered wrong. I don't think it is. Why would God give ppl those feelings in the first place? You shouldn't be ashamed. I think willow and tara are really awesome togather. I don't go to this site because they are gay but because i like their characters and the show. Mostly just the show actually a friend showed me the site and it had alot of cool info. But in no way should you be ashamed.

[lesbianinmaine]

I second that- a great BIG heck, no!!
Liking them because they are smart, caring, brave, loving, and compassionate women; then NOT liking them based on their sexual identity would be the thing that is wrong, IMO.

[Tiggrscorpio]

You should absolutely NOT be ashamed of being a W/T fan. I assume you watch the show because you like it and you post here because you like W/T. Plese don't let anyone try to influence your own feelings.

My parents still have a difficult time dealing with the fact that I'm a lesbian. And I think they probably always will, but they are not ashamed of me.

People should be judged on their actions. Not on the way they look, or the way they speak or who they choose to love.

Willow and Tara are excellent role models. Even Willow's addiction story line represents what millions of people deal with everyday. You decide on your own!

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She's my everything!

[littlekitty]

Never be ashamed of what you like or who you are! Willow/Tara shippers are the best kind! Don't listen to your mom about this, she is wrong!(although most of the time parents are reasonable...give or take a bit of rationale...they realy are!) Stand up and be a proud Buffy fan, because it is the BEST GODDAMN SHOW OUT THERE! No lie! Although if are at risk of being thrown out of you house for being a fan of W/T you should keep the hoorays quiet...don't want you to end up on the street. OK done for now... if you need to talk my Sn on AOL is Bioferret.

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~Spread beneath my Willow tree-You make me complete~

[Willowlicious]

Hi, The Next Tara Maclay! Didn't you say over on the Pens board (where you write very good stories!) that you are around 13 years old? Could you tell us a little more about your situation? Does your mom approve of you watching Buffy on TV? Does your mom watch it with you? Was she concerned with you watching the program before she figured out you like Willow and Tara? Is she bothered by any of the other storylines, like, say, Buffy and Spike? I'm trying to figure out if she is soley opposed to your liking Willow and Tara or if she finds the entire program a bit too adult for your age group and used Willow and Tara as an example. It has a lot of very adult and very dark themes. I'm not saying that I agree that a lesbian relationship is too "adult" for a 13 year old. I don't. Heck my 3 year old nephew has figured out that my gf and I are a couple. It's part of life (and a good one, I might add). I'm just trying to figure out exactly where your mom is coming from.

Now about your liking Willow and Tara. You should definitely not feel ashamed! Gay people are just like everyone else and it's great that you realize that. Willow and Tara are terrific, interesting characters and it is understandable you would find them cool. All of us on the Kitten board do! Problem is, as you've unfortunately experienced, a lot of people still fear homosexuals and homosexuality. They fear them because they don't understand them or because their religion tells them homosexuality is wrong. The reasons are complex and varied and have raged on for centuries, so I can't really sum all that up here. I don't know what your mother's specific feelings are on this subject, but I'm going to take a guess as to why she is afraid of the fact that you like Willow and Tara and write stories about them, etc. She, as a mother, is most likely afraid that the only reason you could possibly like Willow and Tara is that you are experiencing homosexual feelings yourself and watching them on TV is encouraging you to explore this ("bad influence"). This, of course, IS NOT the only reason you could like Willow and Tara! As I said, they are interesting and cool and completely likable and lovable. Being gay is not a requirement for liking them! However, given your age--an age in which your mother is starting to think about your sexuality--I am betting that this is her fear. Many parents have this fear. That is why shows like Buffy are so important, so people can see that gay people are normal and nothing to be feared.

I don't know why you personally like Willow and Tara. Only you know that. All I can really tell you is that you are NOT wrong to like them. It is perfectly okay no matter what the reason. As for your mother, I don't know what she's like so it's hard for me to offer advice. Don't disrespect her--she loves you and is trying to look out for you--but don't let her make you feel ashamed for liking Willow and Tara or any other gay people. You have a beautiful, open mind and heart. Embrace diverity.

[This message has been edited by Willowlicious (edited January 26, 2002).]

[ShaggyKat]

I have been sitting here trying to compose a response to your question. However I have just read Willowlicious's reply and I don't think I can explain things any better.

She is right about not disrespecting your mom. You may want to talk to her about your feelings. Or if you are uncomfortable with that perhaps some other adult in your life like a teacher. That may help you.

I don't think you are going to find anyone here who is going to tell you to be ashamed of W/T. This IS the kitty board. But I think you already knew that.

I've read your posts and I think you are quite good. I enjoy your stories. I just hope *me turning into parent mode* that you did your homework.

ShaggyKat

[ForeverPiper]

There is NO REASON in the whole wide world that you should be ashamed. I thought about it too when I first started reading fanfictions and stuff. My parents don't like the whole Will/Tar thing either. For example, last week I was watching Tabula Rasa for like the 27th time and my mom was watching it with me, and then it was the part where Willow fell on top of Tara and they were inching closer and closer and my mom goes "That's gross" and I'm all "No it's not." Some people can be so close-minded. Hello this IS the 21st century here! If someones gay it's not another persons place to judge them...that's what I tell anyone who disses Willow and Tara. They have or had the most beautiful relationship I've ever witnessed on a TV series.

[Robin]

Hi The Next Tara Maclay (long, but nice name). There is definitely no reason for being ashamed!
If I got that right you're about 13 years old and therefore you're Mom might be concerned you're watching a TV-show like BTVS, because the characters and therefore the stories have become more adult (for example: the B/S storyline). Well, that's no biggy. She's your Mom, she has to take care of you.
As Willowlicious said before it might also be the case that your Mom is worried about the fact that you're devoted to W/T, because of their romantic relationship.
Maybe you should tell her that you like this couple the way you did like Buffy and Angel, because both relationships are/were very romantic (just in case this is reality).
I think 13 years is much too young to say where the road is leading to. Don't worry, things will turn out the way they're supposed to do, like the colour of your eyes.
I don't know if this helped you in any way,
but I hope so. Don't argue with your Mom, you're too young for struggling with her. ENJOY your life! Do whatever 13 year old kids do and don't make yourself crazy.
When I was 13 years old I enjoyed reading books about dragons....I have to search those books and read them again....

[lurker1.0]

Absolutely no reason to be ashamed at all. I mean if you just take Willow and Tara and break them down into the basic characters, they are amazing. They're both caring, compassionate people. And hey they're cool monster fighters on top of all the goodness they represent too

I mean. Sure homosexuality is still a topic that people in North America are very skittish about. But hey, if you wanna get very very technical about everything, homosexuality isn't even "wrong" in the bible.
Let me clarify. Having homosexual feelings and such and such and so forth isn't wrong. I mean Love is love is love, you can't do much about it. The only thing that the bible even says is wrong is practicing homosexuality. But come on, if we did everything the bible told us to we wouldn't even be able to go to the bathroom. So no big deal right?

There's nothing wrong with supporting W/T. They have the most beautiful thing I've ever seen on TV or in movies or anything for a while, what with all the death and stuff.
So just keep watchin the show and don't listen to what people say. Well don't listen to them most of the time cuz people are stupid. But you shoudl listen if they tell you to duck, generally a good idea. And hey if you ever need support, you got us Kitties her backing you up 100%

And finally to quote Buffy,
"They have a miraculous love"

And the love they have for eachother is definetly nothing anyone should be ashamed of apreciating.

[BBOvenGuy]

quote:

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Originally posted by lurker1.0:
But hey, if you wanna get very very technical about everything, homosexuality isn't even "wrong" in the bible.
Let me clarify. Having homosexual feelings and such and such and so forth isn't wrong. I mean Love is love is love, you can't do much about it. The only thing that the bible even says is wrong is practicing homosexuality.

---

I can get even more technical than that.

And I've done so in the past, so if you've already seen this stuff feel free to move along...

When the Bible mentions homosexuality at all - which it doesn't all that much - it's typically in the context of idolatrous pagan rituals. In those days, a person could go to the local pagan temple and pay to have sex with a prostitute of the same gender, and this would have some sort of religious benefit. That's what Paul is talking about when he "condemns homosexuality" in Romans, and that's largely what's being condemned in the Books of Moses as well.

Fundamentalists use the story of Sodom and Gomorrah to "prove" how much the Bible condemns homosexuality, but if you read the passage you'll see that what the Bible is really condemning is gang rape, which was an outward sign of the arrogant attitude that got the people of Sodom in trouble to begin with. There's more on that in the Book of Ezekiel.

The Bible makes no direct mention at all - good or bad - of a loving, committed relationship between people of the same gender, which makes a number of people (including me) think it was a complete non-issue.

It's also interesting to note that there are no quotes from Jesus Christ himself on the subject of homosexuality, which again suggests that the subject wasn't that big a deal. Some scholars have suggested that the "servant" of a Roman Centurion who was miraculously healed in Chapter 8 of Matthew's Gospel was actually the Centurion's male lover - such things were known to happen in the Roman Legions. There's no way to prove it, of course, but the idea that the "servant" was cured because of the Centurion's faith rather than condemned because of the Centurion's homosexuality would be consistent with the Gospel message.

All this is my very long-winded and technical way of saying:

Heck no! You don't need to be ashamed of liking W/T

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Remember the Kitten Board Mantra: "Joss is nuts about Tara, Willow/Tara and Amber!"
(...and Marti's rather fond of them, too...)

[This message has been edited by BBOvenGuy (edited January 26, 2002).]quote:Heck no! You don't need to be ashamed of liking W/T

[glory_kitte]

never be ashamed of what you like ,
never be ashamed of anything .

[miss_spangles]

Just stopping by this thread to say, no, absolutely not

[Jenny Scott]

As buffy said when will asked if she was freaked about the idea of her and tara together:

"No, absoulute no to that."

As for your mum telling you that you shouldn't like them cause of the lesbian thing, never believe what is said, only what you know.

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"The worlds about to be destroyed and i'm stuck in a traffic jam!"

[Web Warlock]

In a word.
No

In two words.
Hell no.

There is nothing wrong with liking two characters that share a profound and passionate love for each other.

Warlock.

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Web Warlock
web.warlock@attbi.com webwarlock@planetadnd.com
Author, the Netbooks of Witches and Warlocks
The Other Side: http://www.xtreme-gaming.com/~theotherside/

--
"Nobody gets me baby. I'm the wind!" - Tom Servo, MST3k

[Puff]

I'll add my no And then say that people will always try and tell you what is right and wrong and what you should like and not like. But in the end it's up to you to decide. If you feel that you have nothing to be ashamed of then don't be. And if you feel you need to talk or ask questions then you are in the perfect place to do so. Kitties are great people to talk to

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“I…I love you. I just…I just don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want to feel like I am living again.” Legends of the kiss by Mariacomet

[The Next Tara Maclay]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Willowlicious:
Hi, The Next Tara Maclay! Didn't you say over on the Pens board (where you write very good stories!) that you are around 13 years old? Could you tell us a little more about your situation? Does your mom approve of you watching Buffy on TV? Does your mom watch it with you? Was she concerned with you watching the program before she figured out you like Willow and Tara? Is she bothered by any of the other storylines, like, say, Buffy and Spike? I'm trying to figure out if she is soley opposed to your liking Willow and Tara or if she finds the entire program a bit too adult for your age group and used Willow and Tara as an example. It has a lot of very adult and very dark themes. I'm not saying that I agree that a lesbian relationship is too "adult" for a 13 year old. I don't. Heck my 3 year old nephew has figured out that my gf and I are a couple. It's part of life (and a good one, I might add). I'm just trying to figure out exactly where your mom is coming from.

Now about your liking Willow and Tara. You should definitely not feel ashamed! Gay people are just like everyone else and it's great that you realize that. Willow and Tara are terrific, interesting characters and it is understandable you would find them cool. All of us on the Kitten board do! Problem is, as you've unfortunately experienced, a lot of people still fear homosexuals and homosexuality. They fear them because they don't understand them or because their religion tells them homosexuality is wrong. The reasons are complex and varied and have raged on for centuries, so I can't really sum all that up here. I don't know what your mother's specific feelings are on this subject, but I'm going to take a guess as to why she is afraid of the fact that you like Willow and Tara and write stories about them, etc. She, as a mother, is most likely afraid that the only reason you could possibly like Willow and Tara is that you are experiencing homosexual feelings yourself and watching them on TV is encouraging you to explore this ("bad influence"). This, of course, IS NOT the only reason you could like Willow and Tara! As I said, they are interesting and cool and completely likable and lovable. Being gay is not a requirement for liking them! However, given your age--an age in which your mother is starting to think about your sexuality--I am betting that this is her fear. Many parents have this fear. That is why shows like Buffy are so important, so people can see that gay people are normal and nothing to be feared.

I don't know why you personally like Willow and Tara. Only you know that. All I can really tell you is that you are NOT wrong to like them. It is perfectly okay no matter what the reason. As for your mother, I don't know what she's like so it's hard for me to offer advice. Don't disrespect her--she loves you and is trying to look out for you--but don't let her make you feel ashamed for liking Willow and Tara or any other gay people. You have a beautiful, open mind and heart. Embrace diverity.

[This message has been edited by Willowlicious (edited January 26, 2002).]

---

Hi, Willow person!(Lol)
Okay, My mom says I have a bad temper because of Buffy and Stuff, She says I get bad influences and that since I have a stuttering problem its because of watching Tara and Willow alot, And my Bad temper is no doubtly from Faith is what she says, But my mom disagree's with the whole Wiccan thing she says they're sinners and dont know anything about television and they need hlep and she'd extremly want to help them but she can't stand it, She also says its to Porno or htats what she thinks, She also says its against the rules to watch Buffy... She watches me and just yesterday I threw a bad temper throwing the phone breaking it and she says its from "Watching Buffy, and Thinking your the boss" And I've told her how I felt and she wont even listen to me, She just shrugs it off and yells at me for liking what I like. I love Willow and Tara because they're kind and sweet, and Smart, and they care about people.. On the other hand my mom says I should be watching shows that are good for the soul, I don't get this, But I think every now and then when my mom comes in my room she throws away some of my Buffy stuff in the trash, and I can never find it, She even tells me to get off *These*Boards.. Its quite hard to explain, Because my mom says "I'm not being a Christian. ".

quote:

---

Originally posted by Robin:
Hi The Next Tara Maclay (long, but nice name). There is definitely no reason for being ashamed!
If I got that right you're about 13 years old and therefore you're Mom might be concerned you're watching a TV-show like BTVS, because the characters and therefore the stories have become more adult (for example: the B/S storyline). Well, that's no biggy. She's your Mom, she has to take care of you.
As Willowlicious said before it might also be the case that your Mom is worried about the fact that you're devoted to W/T, because of their romantic relationship.
Maybe you should tell her that you like this couple the way you did like Buffy and Angel, because both relationships are/were very romantic (just in case this is reality).
I think 13 years is much too young to say where the road is leading to. Don't worry, things will turn out the way they're supposed to do, like the colour of your eyes.
I don't know if this helped you in any way,
but I hope so. Don't argue with your Mom, you're too young for struggling with her. ENJOY your life! Do whatever 13 year old kids do and don't make yourself crazy.
When I was 13 years old I enjoyed reading books about dragons....I have to search those books and read them again....

---

My mom is just overly protective and I have a bad temper Hence she says its because of BTVS and because of the Charecters such as:Willow,Tara,Faith,Glory,Buffy and Dawn, She says that I cant control what i Do when I can, She says that I shouldn't stutter just to be like Tara(I stutter when I'm very nervous) And I can't help but wonder why She can't understand why I like BTVS and Willow and Tara.

I like Charmed, My mom doesn't like it she says that I'm gonna be a wicca and do bad things and she assumes that everything I watch is bad, Heck even Cartoons I like to watch she says are satanic and I can't control what I watch, When I can, I like what I like, I've told her that before but she just doesn't understand, I think I'll run away.

[This message has been edited by WillTara (edited January 27, 2002).]quote:quote:

[boo]

Girly... *sigh* I don't know exactly what to say to you. Considering, since you're thirteen, that I'm one mere year older than you, I could possibly help more, or less.

I don't have this problem because... well, I'm a mucho secret person, but that's me. But I would say, be respectful to your mother and try to make her see what you do. If you have to, write her a letter and put it in her purse or something. I know sometimes it's much easier to write your thoughts down than to speak them.

I'm usually around for chatting, of course you know that already. But don't give up too easily, there's nothing wrong with admiring Willow and Tara's relationship.

[EricAlan69]

Sweetie, don't give up, and don't abandon hope. This is a tricky situation you find yourself in, but you *can* overcome.

Dealing with parents is never easy- heck, I'm 29 years old, and am temporarily having to live with my parents again, and let me tell you, they don't always mellow with age :-). The thing is, remember that your mother does love you, and wants the best for you, no matter how it may seem.

Please listen to all the kitties who've spoken before me here, because they've made just about every point I possibly could. I think everyone here can relate in some way to your problem, and any of us would be more than happy to chat any time you need to do so.

I don't just come here because I love BtVS and Willow/Tara, but because I haven't seen such a concentration of caring, thoughtful and intelligent people in an online forum but once before in my life, and I truly feel at home here.

Don't give up, and remember that we're here.

love,

e.

[lesbianinmaine]

Please, Please, Please, don't run away!! There have to be better options for you than this! You're 13, I know you're not stupid, you know it can be a big, bad, dangerous world out there. Do you have *anyone* at home who you can talk to? A teacher, a counselor, the parent of a friend? If you have that much anger inside of you, you really need someone to talk to. Someone who will listen to you.
Big, big hugs to you, and a wish that I could make it all ok.

[TwiLightJoy]

Satanic cartoons? Hmm. I don't feel that any cartoon is. Especially because they are targeted at younger age groups, like as young as age 1 and a half or 2. Sure, most cartoons will have things in them that are aimed at adults so they can get something out of it as well. These are usually jokes that will fly right over younger kid's heads. Harry Potter and Pikachu are not the devil's work. It's called fiction and fantasy. Imagination. It's actually a good thing to have! I hate when people's churches think for them.

Also, I don't feel that anything you see on television can directly effect the person inside you. You will be what you are regardless of what you watch. (Though I believe shows can provide positive role models.) You won't become a murderer if you love watching crime dramas. You won't turn into a vampire slaying uhm ... slayer ... from watching Buffy. If someone has a bad temper, they would still have a bad temper even if all they watched was the news, or God forbid, Teletubbies. Willow and Tara won't turn a straight kid gay, but they can hopefully open up some closed minds and break through percieved notions of what a lesbian relationship is.

In other words, add my "hell no" to the list.

~Joy

[Thanatopsis]

The Next Tara McClay, I understand where you're coming from.
I spent my junior high and high school years fighting with my mom over various things, though one of them was what I was watching on TV. I had the bad habit of watching late night USA, which we all know isn't the best thing for a 15 year old to watch.
My relationship with her consisted of a lot of yelling, door slamming and silent treatment from both sides and it solved nothing. I too considered running away. I was constantly angry at her and we both said things we didn't mean. Even now, (I'm 23) we have a tenative, delicate relationship that is being slowly worked on everyday to be rebuilt.
Please don't run away. While getting away from your mother seems like a good idea, this isn't the way to do it. You need to talk to someone else about this. A teacher or counselor at school. Your mother's concerned about you. The problem is while parents are suppose to be older and wiser, they're still human and can handle things badly out of fear or ignorance.

T

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DAWN: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.
ANYA: Oh my god, did it sing?

[dreiser]

there's nothing wrong with liking w/t but there is something wrong with liking them more than faith and there is also something wrong with people eating vegamite sandwiches and you know, there's just something very disturbingly wrong with the rumor that n'sync was going to be in star wars and there's definitely something wrong with anne heche and i'd have to say there's something wrong with kerry's kissing (or being kiss assaulted) skills on er but i'll type it again, there's nothing wrong with liking w/t.

nic

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i'm a garden tool.

[xita]

*mocks dreiser, I love w/t more than faith hehehe!

[dreiser]

nooooooo! faith is better! there's nothing wrong with her. well, except for a murder here and there but hey, we all make mistakes.

(stabs xita with a carrot and runs away.)

see? hehe.

nic

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i'm a garden tool.

[Sela]

You know, I think growing up is by far the hardest thing to do in this world. And isn't that what Joss has managed to prove through BTVS? The Buffy Universe is one that doesn't shy away from fear, confusion, anger, and resentment. It's a world where everything CAN be thrown off-kilter and where things just don't make any sense. But it isn't far-fetched, because that IS how real life is. And just as in real life there are choices and preferences that are based on thoughts and feelings--all of which are valid, interesting, and beautiful in their own right. I say, you make your own decisions, but be mindful and respectful of your parents. You don't have to agree with them to show respect. And as you get older, you'll see that your personal decisions don't have to mirror your parents'. It's difficult and confusing, but you have to be your own person. You're a beautiful person with interesting and unique thoughts and ideas. Hold on to your individuality and relish it.

I'll just reiterate what everyone else has expressed--there's absolutely nothing wrong with liking Willow/Tara. It doesn't make you strange or wrong or evil. It simply shows that you are a person who can recognize beauty in whatever form it may present itself. When I look at Willow and Tara, I see a loving, respectful, sweet, and amazing relationship. Now, they just happen to be gay--alright, and? Beauty is beauty. Love is most definitely love. I'm attracted to that aspect of their relationship, but ultimately, everyone has their own reasons for liking this couple, all of which are wonderful. Don't shy away from that.

I can understand the "being angry" part of growing up. I spent a vast majority of my teenage years blowing up at my parents and generally being downright awful. For a while, the folks blamed television for my angry tendencies. And yeah, I watched t.v. quite a bit, but it didn't make me an angry person. There were other, much more localized reasons for that. I guess it's just easier trying to find an external reason for it than trying to look within for the cause. My suggestion is just to talk it out. If your mother doesn't respond, then I suggest you find someone who wants to help you sort through it all, whether it be a friend, teacher, family member, or a professional. And I hope you know that we're all here if you need to discuss this more in depth. Please take care of yourself and have faith and love for the person that you are and for the person you will become.

--Sela

[willow's girl]

It's been said before, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking Willow and Tara. As for the problems with your mother, adolescence is tough. I remember a couple of rough years with my own mother. The best thing you can do is to try to show her that you're mature and responsible. Easier said than done of course. Have you thought about talking to a school councilor? It might help you work some of these things out. As for satanic cartoons and Buffy warping peoples personalities, I say "Ha! Not likely." Hang in there kiddo, and e-mail me if you ever need a friend.
eltonsgod@aol.com

[Wolfie]

I read your original post last night, The Next Tara McClay and, as much as I would love to give you advice, I don't feel qualified to do so. I don't feel it would be very constructive for me to attempt to ally my way of life (you know, all that stuff about "values" etc), to yours and your families. However, I would like to make an observation, and you may take it how you wish.

I look at the characters of Willow and Tara, and I look at their relationship, and I see nothing wrong in it: As a basic representation of romantic love, I think the writers on Buffy have managed to make it work on a very believable and, dare I say, beautiful level. They met, became friends, looked out for each other, even when there was immediate danger to both of them. Then they fell in love and they followed that love to a natural conclusion. As people, they have made mistakes, have had ups and downs, but this doesn't define them in terms of good or bad: Everyone is like this. We have good days and bad days. I take the relationship I have with Sharon, my wife, whom I love with all my heart, and I see a likeness in the love portrayed between the characters of Willow and Tara. Sharon and I have good days, and we have bad days, but we try to be the best people we can be. The same goes for Willow and Tara.

Willow and Tara are gay. They are interested in and practice Wicca, which obviously, comes from a different set of spiritual beliefs than Christianity. But that is no different than the relationship between being a Jew and being a Christian, and don't forget, Willow was brought up as a Jew as a child: She simply chose a different spiritual path to her Parents. That doesn't make her right or wrong, just different to them. I tend to feel that difference is what makes our world an interesting place.

The tricky thing is this: Being gay, or being a Wicca, to me, in my humble opinion, is good, if it's true to who you are as a person. I tend to think you go with what feels right to you, and if the love you feel for someone, be they male, female, or Arcturan Magadonkey, feels right (I don't know - there's just something that clicks into place with most things, and they either feel comfortable or uncomfortable), then that is the way for you. It might mean you suddenly say to yourself "oh, so that means I'm gay, then", or "ah, well, I guess I'm straight", or maybe you find yourself somewhere in between. However, the notion of making discoveries such as these can make some people feel uncomfortable, even threatened. That's just the way it is. Some of these people might say things that seem confusing. Unfortunately, I can't say it gets any clearer as you get older. It's just the way people can be. But they can also be amazing. Life is all about weighing what you think you understand with what you feel you don't understand at the moment, but may do in the future. I have gone through thirty and a half years on this planet, and I'm constantly deciding that I was maybe wrong about this, and possibly on the right track with that, and often saying "well, I haven't the faintest idea" about most things. Great, innit?

Just go with what seems to make sense, and, if I were you (my only piece of advice), if you secretly don't agree with what someone says, but don't want to upset them, because you also happen to love them, just smile and nod, and silently (and that is the important part, often), agree to disagree. When you are older, then saying "well, I think this way", can be a lot of fun, especially when you're bigger than them, and can sit on their neck while you're doing so (only kidding on that part).

Until then, we are all here to support you, and care about you ('cause we all care about each other on this board - DON'T WE??!?!?!?), and say "there there" when you feel you need it.

Okay?

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*Sings*
Oh, you can tell, by the rapture on my face,
That synthetic fur makes for a sensual embrace!

[tyche]

HELL NO!
As for being a bad influence, tell your mum that I am a straight woman. I think Amber and Aly are gorgeous to look at, and I love the chemistry between W/T.
My headteacher at school was lesbian, about 75% of my lecturers and a third of my fellow students at college were lesbian, gay or bisexual, I've been a fan of Willow and Tara since the beginning .. and I'm engaged to a wonderful man (also a W/T fan) and will marry him in 2003. So my point is, being attracted to the same sex is not some kind of contagious disease. If you are attracted to people of the same sex, you are anyway and if you aren't, you aren't and no amount of worshipping a fictional couple will make you that way.
*steps down off soapbox*

[This message has been edited by tyche (edited January 27, 2002).]

[Robin]

First of all: Running away is definitely the worst option you could choose! This won't make things easier for you, it may sound like it would, but that's awfully wrong!
I think growing up is one of the hardest things in life. When I was a teenager and before I was always struggling with my mother. She didn't understand me and I couldn't understand her. Whereas she and my younger brother were like one soul.
At some point of time I learned to stay calm and ignore her. That was much easier and the result: less struggle and no more tears!
Today, I don't know why, things have changed. I do get along quite well with her although we still have totally different opinions on many things. And there's another thing I realized, she's not the happiest person on this planet. That's the way she grew up, another time, different ways to look at the world and to judge the people. Times change. Some people don't get it and they're trying to force their way of thinking on the younger ones who have a different point of view.
You could try to get along with the situation like I did. I don't know if this is a solution for you but I think it's worth trying.
Let your Mom say the things she wants to say, the more you stay calm the more she will think you listen to her and you're getting more adult. Follow your path, but try to get out of her way and try to ignore the "stupid" things she might be saying. She's your mum, but still she's only a human being with own problems and feelings.
Head up!