The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Developing: The Other Side Need Beta and some feedback
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:42 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Joined: Sun May 28, 2006 2:25 pm
Posts: 124
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Location: some where over the rainbow
Hey,
So this is my first real attempt at writing and I wanna see what you guys think. I am super open to any ideas! The general idea of the story is that Willow and Tara have been friends since middle school and are very close. It is is Willow's POV. Willow is in an accident and is in a coma but Tara is the only one who can see her. Here is the first part so let's see what you guys think.


Chapter 1

What am I thinking? She is getting away and I am just standing here in this shitty airport waiting on a plane to take me farther away from her. This isn’t where I need to be. This isn’t where I belong; I must be the stupidest person on this planet. My heart was pounding, but I knew what I had to do. She is worth giving everything up for. All my dreams didn’t mean anything without her. I thought that that plane leaving in thirty minutes was my ticket to leave this town, and all my pain behind, but I was wrong. I have one chance to make this right and find my way into her arms; that was my real dream. I love her, and she needs to know it. I already left her once, and I can’t do it again. No, I won’t do it again.

My mind was made up, I was going after her. I had too. She was my future, not this. I couldn’t live without her. I refuse to live without her. I knew I had to go now if I had any chance of catching up to her. If I left now, that plane would leave without me and there was no turning back. Everything that I had worked for in my life would be gone, and I would be running the opposite direction but I didn’t care, if my future wasn’t with her, then it was a future that I didn’t want. I was trying to form a plan in my head but the only thing my mind was screaming was, ‘run fast.’

That was it. That was my plan. It was the only plan that I had so it would have to do. I didn’t exactly have the proper running attire, but I didn’t care. I slung off my heels, grabbed my stuff, and threw it at the lady behind the counter.

“I’m sorry miss, but I have to go, would you put these behind the counter? Thanks!” I didn’t even wait for a response before I was making a bee line for the door. I was running with everything that I had in me. It was raining and foggy outside but I didn’t care.

I had to catch her. I ran to the parking lot scanning desperately for a glimpse of her car. I almost threw up when I saw the spot, where we had pulled in earlier, was empty. I almost lost it right there. She was gone, and I had let her go. My business suit was soaked already, and I felt the cold seeping into to my bones. My hair was plastered to my face, and I was panting. The rain running down my cheeks mingled with the tears streaking down my face, as I pushed my hand back through my hair. My knees were about to buckle when I looked up and saw her car, driving past the windows of the airport, on her way out.

“I still have a chance.” I said, with as much strength as I could muster, and began to run again. I took off with everything that I had in me. I had never been a strong runner, but I ran with a vigor that I had never felt before. My life depended on it and I knew it. If she made it past the red-light at the end of the airport's road, I knew I didn’t have a chance of catching her.

My feet pounded against the sidewalk as I rushed past the windows that she had just drove by. I was pushing people out of the way. I would have been screwed if this was a bigger airport, or even if it had been a little more hectic. The rain was on my side though; everyone wanted inside to be sheltered from the cold, wet stings that cascaded down from the angry sky.

I knew people were looking at me like I had lost my mind, but I didn’t care. I had lost my mind. I lost it when I let her walk out that door. I went crazy the moment I told her I never wanted to talk to her again. The whole thing was insane. Running down the road praying with every breath that I could still catch her was the sanest thing that I had done in a while. I had finally figured it out; the fog that clouded my mind was gone and I had to stop her from walking away forever. If I had to run a thousand miles to catch her I would.

I kept running; pushing myself to the brink going as fast as I ever had before. I couldn’t tell if the drumming in my head was the sound of my feet hitting the pavement or the pounding of my heart that was threatening to tear through my chest. I could tell that my feet were raw already from the sharp, uneven pavement that scraped the bottom of my feet every time I pushed off from it. None of it mattered.

She was the only thing that mattered. She was the only thing that ever mattered to me. When I ran around the curve of the road and saw her car slow to a stop, behind the pile up of traffic trying to get out of the airport, I knew that I still had a chance. I was so close to catching her. Just a little farther and I would be at her car.

I didn’t feel the cold, bitter rain cutting through me like a thousand sharp knives. I didn’t feel my legs trying to buckle beneath me. I didn’t feel the pain the stabbed me in the side like a dull knife, or the nausea that was telling my body to stop. I didn’t feel anything except for the hope that washed over me.

I was in my own world, and she was the center of it. She was always the center of my world. Everything always revolved around her, when it came to me. The center of my world was sitting in the car waiting for me.

I took in a deep breath and started to scream her name to the top of my lungs. This was it. I had her. I was walking on clouds now and nothing else mattered to me, not even the horn that sounded as I ran towards her car.

Time stood still as she turned in her car to look at me. I thought it was the sound of my voice, but I realize now that the rain was coming down too hard for her to hear me. It must have been the sound of the horn that caught her attention. It didn’t matter to me though because she saw me.

I knew there was a thousand watt smile on my face when she turned to look at me. She didn’t have the same look of happiness on her face though. She looked worried. I felt my smile fade into a look of confusion as I felt, more than saw, the beams of headlights on me.

All my senses came rushing back. I heard the horn still sounding, in the background, as time almost completely stood still. The rain was cascading down my face and into my eyes. I could hear its dull pounding hitting me and the cars around me. It sounded like drums against the pavement. I heard the sound of brakes squealing against the soaked pavement. The hammering of my heart returned, and I felt everything that I had ignored before: the nausea, the weakness of my legs, and the rawness of my bare feet. It was all becoming a sensory overload. Then it all stopped again when something hit me hard. The last thing I saw was the distressed look that crossed her face. Then I saw nothing but blackness. I felt nothing except the cold. I heard voices all around me, and her.

“No! Willow stay with me. I love you.” Her voice wrapped around me like a warm blanket and carried me off into the land of darkness and silence; her words staying with me as I drifted into nothingness.





Okay so that is chapter one! Please help! I have a couple more chapters that I would be interested in sharing if you guys think this is a good starting point.

_________________
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, not touched.
But are felt in the heart.
Helen Keller


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 Post subject: Re: Developing: The Other Side Need Beta and some feedback
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 8:18 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Joined: Sun May 28, 2006 2:25 pm
Posts: 124
Topics: 2
Location: some where over the rainbow
P.S. I guess I really didn't mention what I really wanted or needed hahaha. I would like to find someone to help me with grammar and someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone who will tell me when something is dumb or doesn't make sense! So if you could possibly help me out that would be awesome!

_________________
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, not touched.
But are felt in the heart.
Helen Keller


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