What's cooking?

Disclaimer: Characters and original concept belong to Joss et al , I'm just borrowing them for a bit.
Timeframe: Could be anytime after W&T get together, except I mention Dawn's High School graduation.
Spoilers: The series has been finished for how long, and we still worry about spoilers?
Distribution: Please ask me first if you’d like to distribute this.
Classification: ?
Feedback: Go easy on me, I haven't done this much. Specifically looking for guidance on punctuation where I've listed Willow's memories of Tara cooking, and for dialogue, whether it be speech or thought. Any other fb very welcome too.
NB Speech is in ", thoughts in '.
Draft: December 2005.
Author's note: I thought I'd have a go at umgaynow's non-smut smutfic challenge. This is the introductory section.

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Willow looked up, distracted from her deep concentration in the book on her lap by Tara's movement as she carefully extracted herself from their comfortable tangle on the couch, where they'd both been reading for some hours.
"Mmmm? Wha'sup baby?" she mumbled.
"I feel creative, so I thought I'd cook up something for the gang tonight," Tara explained, bending to kiss Willow's upturned face, ending with a light kiss on her lips.
Having failed to prolong the kiss, Willow raised an eyebrow and smiled her best seductive smile.
"We could get pretty creative right here on the couch, if you want?" She suggested, taking a quick look at the wall clock. "Nobody's gonna be here for a couple of hours."
Tara laughed throatily, leaning down for another - not so quick - kiss.
"Vixen", she murmured, then pulled away giving Willow a mischievous look before heading for the kitchen.
"Or not", sighed Willow, her contentment and her love for Tara lighting her expression as she watched Tara's teasing sashay into the kitchen.

After several minutes, Willow gave up trying to return to her book and stretched out on the couch. Closing her eyes, she listened to the happy snatches of song from the kitchen. A smile played on her lips as memories of Tara in the kitchen passed through her mind's eye: a sunny morning in the Summers' kitchen, Tara still in sleep shorts and a wrap, making pancakes - funny shapes or rounds; after a hard night's Scooby-age, Tara, fresh from a shower and wearing a towelling robe, making a quick veggie omelette for the two of them to share because they were too tired to eat 'properly'; Tara making tasty, wholesome meals every night for ages for the four of them after Joyce died; Tara with flour on her nose, all rosy cheeked, wisps of hair escaping the loose tie-back she affected whenever cooking; Tara laughingly scolding Willow's frosting theft while decorating a cake made for some special event … Dawn's high school graduation, she remembered.

'Tara gives so much.' Willow mused. 'She loves to give.' 'Not just with the cooking, either', interjected Willow's naughty self. "In the bedroom, the bathroom, the sitting room, the hall, and, yes, in the kitchen too!' Willow smirked before returning to her previous train of thought. 'She really seems to enjoy cooking. Not something I ever really thought about, at least not once I'd worked out the science of it.' Suddenly seized by the impulse to see if she could share in Tara's pleasure in cooking, Willow jumped up from the couch. Giggling at her own silliness, she copied Tara's sashay into the kitchen.

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Spells for Two

Every path has its puddle. Old English Saying... I think I just stepped in mine...

Hi! Thanks so much for sharing this! A couple of general comments and then your specific concerns, if that's okay.

Put spaces between your paragraphs. That's pretty much the way most writers in this particular board post. It makes it easier to read.

Your first sentence.... WOW! That's a heck of a first sentence! How about reworking it so it's not quite so long? Your first sentence is 37 words long. The first sentence should be the one that really grabs your reader and pulls them in. Give it a second look.





"She" shouldn't be capitalized.

"throatily" Is there a better way to word that maybe? It reads a little awkward to me and I hate adverbs in general.

In America, we don't call them sitting rooms. They're living rooms or family rooms.

As for your punctuation throughout the memories section: I think it's fine with the semicolons. I thought maybe you could put that section in italics, flashback style to make it easier to read though.

Overall, this looks like a fun piece with lots of potential. I hope we get to see more!

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Learning to be unrepentantly me.