Hey Kittens!
Long time no see, I know! You'll have to forgive me for not posting in so long and I am sure you guys thought this fic was as good as gone. I must admit that I did too but thanks to not so subtle nudges from a friend and the departure of my soul mate/love of my life on a 6 week trip, I have made the time to write another chapter. I hope you all like it!
This one is for you sweetie! I hope you're having a wonderful time
So here goes, behold...
Chapter 15Willow rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, wiping away the sleep and dreams from the night before. Memories came back to her, Tara, her parents, coming out, the rain, telling Buffy. She sat up, trying not to wake the two blondes who were sprawled out on the floor next to her, each in their own little dream worlds. She grabbed her clothes and headed for the hallway.
The house was very quiet as the redhead made her way to the bathroom. She shut the door carefully as she entered.
"Ugh, I look horrible" she said to herself, looking at her ruffled reflection in the mirror.
She practised a few smiles and 'strong with the butch' faces. "Well, no use putting it off any longer" she said with a sigh and began to dress and prepare herself for confrontation part 2.
***
"Are you sure about this Will?" her girlfriend asked, brows creased with worry.
"I have to Tare, I can't put it off any longer or I'll risk losing them forever and no matter how much my parents may have done things to hurt me or neglect me in some way, I can't lose them. I just can't!"
Tara nodded, "I understand sweetie. I'm right here if you need me" she said patting the seat next to her on the bench that was conveniently placed on the corner of Willow's street. "I'll wait here. Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?"
The redhead eyed the looming house in front of her. "Yeah, I'm sure. I have to do this one alone."
Her heart raced as she fit the key into the lock.
"Mom? Dad? Are you here?" she called out but there was no response.
She made her way up the staircase to her parent's room wondering if they were still asleep.
On the landing she heard a muffled sob coming from her bedroom, "Mom?" she asked quietly, pushing the door open.
It was indeed her mother and she was in state that Willow had never seen before.
Sheila Rosenberg looked up from her place on the floor as her daughter entered. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes were bloodshot. It looked as if she hadn't slept the last few nights. She was wearing the same clothes that she had been wearing when Willow had last seen her and they were wrinkled.
"Mom" Willow started, biting her lip, she had no idea she could reduce her mother to this. Her mom, the epitome of grace and fashion, who was calm in most any situation, seemed to be mourning.
Sheila stood up, wiped her tears, and looked at Willow. "Willow...where have you been?"
"I was out. I was with Tara."
At the mention of her girlfriend's name a pained look crossed her mother's face. "You know you're not supposed to go out with friends without telling us."
"Mom" Willow said with exasperation, "you can't pretend nothing happened, cause it did and it's not going to change. Tara isn't just my friend.
She's my girlfriend and I'm sorry if I hurt you but that's not what I had in mind. I didn't plan to fall in love and I certainly didn't plan for it to be with a girl, but she's made my life so amazing. You wouldn't understand."
"No Willow, you wouldn't understand. Look at you, you're not even out of high school but you think you know what is best for you in the long run. Just because someone is paying you attention for the first time in your life doesn't mean you should jump at it. If you would dress a little better, do yourself up a little more, surely you could find a nice guy. You are a pretty girl Willow, you just don't realize it."
"But I don't want a guy Mom. I want Tara. I'm not doing this because I chose to defy you by being with a girl. Not any girl, Mom, just Tara."
Sheila studied her daughter as if seeing her for the first time. Willow had never spoken to her like this before.
"Willow, I know what teen influence is like and how easy it is to fall into the latest fad. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you should too! I've seen it, with those PFLAG meetings, all the mothers tell me the same."
"Mom" Willow said feeling her temper rise, "I don't want to argue about this. I don't know how you can have so much to do with gay organizations and still see it the way you do. I didn't ask you if I could date her and I don't need your permission to be gay, but I would like your blessing. It's my life and this is how it is but I don't want to lose you and Dad. My family means a lot to me..." she trailed off feeling the tears come.
"Look, I'm sorry," she continued, "Where's Dad? Is he home?"
Sheila shook her head, "He went out for some milk. He'll be home soon. You can wait."
She turned to walk out of the room, paused and spoke quietly, "I'm sorry too Willow, but I can't give you my blessing." and with that she was gone, leaving a shaken redhead to sob alone in her room.
***
Tara was getting restless waiting for Willow to return. She shuffled nervously on the bench, so engrossed in her worries that she didn't notice the man making his way up the street toward her.
"Hello Tara" Ira Rosenberg said, his eyes studying her intensely to the point where she flushed with discomfort, "what brings you here?"
Tara's heart was beating quickly due to the butterflies in her stomach, "waiting for Willow" she managed.
He stood there silently.
"Mind if I sit down for a minute?"
"Er, no, please, sit" Tara said with a nervous smile.
"Look, I know we haven't gotten off on the right foot Tara" Ira started, "I just want you to know that I only want to do what is in Willow's best interest. It's nothing against you. You seem like a very nice girl."
The blonde watched the man, taking in the bags under his tired eyes.
"I understand" she replied and then added, "that's all I want too."
Ira nodded, "Thanks."
"I see you have milk," the blonde continued, wanting to smack herself for making such a stupid statement.
"Yes" he said, "I do and I should go put it in the fridge."
Tara agreed, relieved to see him go.
"I'll tell Willow you're waiting" he said and headed toward his house.
The blonde followed him with her eyes, "Mr. Rosenberg" she called just before he reached the door and he paused.
"I love her and I would do anything in my power to make her happy and keep her safe."
And with a hint of a smile, Ira Rosenberg entered his home.
***
Willow sat on her bed and looked around the room. This was the place she'd grown up in. She used to know it so well, every crevice and every hidey-hole. The corner by the door was her old secret hideout where she used to play for hours with her stuffed ocelot, Peach. The redhead stood and made her way to the closet. On her toes, she reached for an old and tattered box. She lifted the lid and felt around till she found what she was looking for.
"Peach" she said, bringing the moth-eaten toy to her chest and hugging it.
She made her way swiftly back to the bed and lay down. The once familiar bedroom was now foreign. She didn't know it, didn't feel comfortable in it and feared she never would again.
There were tears trailing down her cheeks as she thought about her life up until that point.
"Willow?"
Willow recognized the voice as her fathers, "Can I come in? Mom said you were up here."
The redhead nodded her acquiesce and heard her father enter and sit on the bed behind her. They stayed like that for quite some time.
Finally her father spoke, his voice filled with pain. Not something Willow thought she had ever heard in him and something she prayed she would never hear again. He spoke as if his soul was shattered and his spirit gone.
"What do you want to do with the rest of your life Willow?"
There was no accusation in the comment and no malice but the disappointment was thick and it made Willow want to cry again.
"I don't know Dad. I... I want to travel... see the world! I mean, I've spent my entire life in one place, you know?" She turned around to face him.
Ira nodded, "and how do you want to go about it? Traveling takes planning and money and skills. Have you thought about your future? Your life career?"
"No, not really, I mean, I kinda know I'd like to go to college and maybe do something with animals or kids but I don't know what. Why?"
He studied his daughter and was taken aback by how grown up she was.
"Willow, the world is filled with different people, some would go so far as to call them strange or freaks, your mother and I have tried so hard to protect you from them because they only cause you pain. People don't like people who are different from them."
The redhead wondered if that was how he saw her.
"There are places in this world that would hang you for being a lesbian Willow. It limits the jobs you can have, places you can stay and people you can associate with. Do you really want that to plague you the rest of your life? "
"First of all, Dad, Mom promotes the PFLAG meetings at school so I wouldn't call that keeping me away from gayness, and Secondly, if endless taunting and abuse is what I'll have to endure to have Tara then, yeah, I guess I do want it. Besides if people really hate someone for the fact that they love someone of the same sex or they do something different, then I don't want to know them anyway."
Ira nodded and touched his daughter's cheek. "If that is what you really want then I can't change your mind."
Willow looked at him with surprise.
"You know we love you, don't you Willow? No matter what happens or how rarely we may tell you. We'll always love you."
Then Ira hugged his daughter, for the first time in a long time. The two of them held on to each other.
"Your Mom will come around Willow. Somehow. We'll both get used to this. Maybe it was a wake up call to point out how badly we function as a family."
The redhead nodded, "I love you guys. I love you Dad."
"There's a certain someone waiting outside for you" Ira reminded his daughter.
"Ohh, yes, it's been over an hour, I have to get back to Tara!" and with that she blew a kiss to her father and ran out of the room.
Ira continued to sit on her bed. He listened as the sound of the front door slamming resonated throughout the house. Then he picked up Peach and began to cry.
“And what flavor Amber fan are YOU?”
~*@.......We are the weirdest person in the world.......@*~
"Love who you love, just do it with your whole heart." - Urn of Osiris