Finding You
By: Sleek


Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Just borrowing them for a while
Pairing: W/T
Rating: PG (for now, I am definitely cookin somethin steamy for later)
Spoilers: S6 and then this will spin off into an AU
Distribution: Yes, with credit and disclaimers in place
Feedback: sleek@poetic.com
Summary: Without the help of Fate, this is how Willow finds Tara. Love, dark passion and mushy goodness ensue.



Part 1
The Visit

Willow watched, with weary sadness, as horrid images of the past months trickled by in her mind's eye.

"Your shirt." Tara's voice. Tara falling to the floor.

Willow cradling Tara. Blood seeping. Her light, gone. Crimson eyes. Black anguish. Scarlet rage.

Someone had to pay.

Willow shut her eyes at the deluge of other memories.Memories of vengeance. Taking a life. The searing pain of the world. A world without Tara.

Bolts of agony shot to Willow's throat and threatened to spill. Her chest heaved, but the redhead contained her sobs.

No, she thought, no more crying. Tara wouldn't want me to pathetically wallow like this. She would want me to live. Breathe. She'd want me to be happy.

Clutching desperately at this thought, Willow summoned a happy memory.

A picture swam before her eyes and stilled her sobbing heart. Full, lush lips quirking into a silly grin. Sapphire eyes brimming with love for her. Sandy brown tresses caressing Willow's face as Tara leaned into her, whispering something…

"Make a wish."

Huh? Willow thought. Did someone--

"Make. A. Wish."

The voice was clearer now. Willow surveyed her room--well Giles' guestroom technically but her room for now.

A silhouette shimmered against the pastel wall. Willow gasped as a form of a woman rippled into view.

She had long flowing ebony hair spilling in sharp contrast against her pale skin.She wore a sheer black material that clung to her like the night sky. Her eyes glittered--two small suns that bore into Willow's desolate haze.

"Enough with the crying already." A deep ancient voice sprang from unmoving violet lips. "Yada. Yada. Yada. Your love is dead. You tried to end the world. What else is new."

Willow didn't know what to make of this and fixed a blank stare at the stranger.

"Make a wish. Before I change my mind."The woman huffed, a bit unkindly.

"Wh-who are you?"

"The tooth fairy! What do you think?"

"I don't think I summoned you. I better find Giles--"

"Okay. I get that you are cautious, you recovering from being almighty evil and all. But it's about time we do something to really fix what happened."



***
Part 2
Meeting Fate


Fix what happened? The woman's words took time to sink into Willow. There is only one thing she wanted to fix. And given that chance…

For the first time in a long time, Willow felt a tiny shard of hope slip in her heart.

"You can bring Tara back?" Willow asked, almost in a whisper. Afraid that this fragile moment might pass or that she dreamed it.

"Yes." Came the woman's voice. And it was as if she hummed the word directly into Willow's ear.

Truth always sounded near. Especially truths that you wanted to hear so badly.

"How?"

"Simple." She said and Willow glimpsed a small smile from the lady. "Wish that you hadn't met Tara and she wouldn't be with you in that room when the gun fired."

"What?!" Willow could not process this new thought. Not meet Tara? Not at all? Is she crazy?

"Look. My power is capable of undoing events only caused by love.It was because of love that Tara was with you that day. It was because of love that Tara forgave you of your nasty memory manipulation."

The redhead cringed at those words.

"It was also because of love that made you kick some Glory butt. Drinking in dark magic as if there are no consequences to be thought of.I can undo this and more, right from the moment Tara came banging on your door when the Gentlemen came after her."

"You mean, undo everything so I won't meet Tara?!" Willow asked incensed and shook her head at how wrong those words felt.

"But she would be alive." The raven-haired lady said almost gently. "Isn't that what you want?"

Willow was silent. She wanted Tara alive, yes, but so that they would be together. Not live separately as strangers.

"I will not," Willow carefully worded, "exchange anything in the world for what I had with Tara. Not for a life wherein she lives, breathes, smiles but does not know me or love me."

"Who said she won't love you?"

"But I thought--"

"Listen. Let me introduce myself properly. I am Fate. As in F-A-T-E. I happen to be Cupid's sister."

Fate took in the redhead's dubious gaze.

"Yes, Cupid exists. You believe that love exists. Why not believe that Cupid exists, or I exist? Anyway, big bro's job is to seek hearts that complement each other. Alone, these hearts are fine, but together, they can create an amazing power in the life force. Cupid has the ability to see, and he points out the matching hearts to me. We agree whether it is the proper lifetime for these two hearts to meet, then he leaves it all up to me."

"Uh, so the bow and arrow thingie is a myth?"Willow couldn't help herself and suddenly found that she was genuinely curious.

Fate dismissed the idea with a wave of a slender hand. "Tut! Twanging bow is just a prop. Your silly hearts do the work. Not the arrow. Love is already in there." Fate pointed a bony finger towards Willow's chest. "The right person merely sparked it into life."

Willow smiled at this and nodded her head. Tara certainly sparked something wonderful alright. Something tingly, tender yet potent. Magnificent feelings that Willow never felt for anyone before. Not even for Oz or Xander.

Fate continued, "My job is to set the scene wherein those two hearts meet. I was the one who nudged you and Tara to go to that particular Wicca meeting. I also used some reinforcements to make her write your name and address down so she could run to you whenever something bad happens--which happen often in Sunnydale--so I was sure she'd be bumping into you in no time. It's the little things Willow. The quick thoughts that make you do things you otherwise wouldn't have done have I not whispered or nudged your souls to seek each other. Now, nothing changes the fact that you two belong together. Your life will be reset to the day before you met. This time, you won't have lil ol' Fate to help you find each other."


TBC "Part 3 Bargaining"
***

This is a really interesting idea I'm all curious to see where you go with this...can't wait for more



--Michelle

Wow, great start. I can see all kinds of possibilities with this one .

Keep it up, looking forward to more

BV

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

Interesting idea indeed... That's another fic I'll keep a very close eye on! It sounds really promising!



When's the next update?

I'm a fic whore, what can I say? *shrugs apologetically*

"You are Willow Rosenberg, vixen-y lighter of the flame and keeper of my heart.”

(Camp Flutie by Rane)

Nice start. I do wonder if Willow really would say 'no' to not seeing Tara again but Tara being alive. I can see both answers and reasons for them... Tara being hauled back to her *cough*familly* in _Familly_ being a big reason.



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Very interesting start!

Now i'm curious and can't wait for more!

"I got so lost"
"I found you, i will always find you"

very interesting! SO now they have to get together their own. Can't wait to see what you come up with!



-Will

"Hear that baby? You're my always."

"well, you know, when you play a lesbian witch you've gotta get killed in this fun kind of exciting way, so the heart was the way to go..."

"we have the most amazing fans though they LOVE us."

Really interesting idea, and I like the way you're going back to the day before they met. Right now, I'm happiest reading season 4 stuff, I think, and so I will look forward to seeing how your AU season 4 plays out.

***************

"Run, flee, maybe skedadlle. We're not here to engage. This is strictly recon." Willow, on season seven, in "This Year's Girl"

An interesting start. There are a lot of possibilities to continue this story.

I like to read season 4 stuff.



*lil´c*



Unter den Blinden ist der Einäugige König.

Another intrigued Kitten here. Really interested to see where this is heading.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

Okay I really can't wait to see where this one is headed. Great start.

--------------------------------------

A.K.A. Liz


WILLOW:
"I'm Willow Rosenberg. 'Willow'!
Funny name."
TARA: "I think it's pretty."
********************
They love the women that will never love them. They are Lesbros!

Michelle=        Hey, the first person to comment. Thanks. This will be a lil twisty and turny but

Fun. Hope you'll keep readin.



BV=                Thanks. Yeah, possibilities are good. I want my readers to think and never see

                What's comin. Hehe.



Saule77=        Hey, cute smiley Amber pic you got there. Yep, keep your eyes on this fic, I hope to make some eyes pop soon. (smiles mysteriously) Heh, never be ashamed of being a fic whore. I am a WT fic junkie myself. Just wanted to know what it feels like to make my own and so far I think writing WT is more addicting.



Grimmy=        Willow is torn about her would be decision. Will let you know soon what it is.



Snuggle79=        Your sig has a lot to do to what inspired me to write this. I mean, without fate, how the hell are they gonna find each other? Hmmm…



Will=        yep. WT are on their own without a compass. I'm already excited to tell you how they'll meet. But I won't tell-- not yet anyway.



Tulipp=        Hey! The poetic author of Terra Firma is here. I really liked your fic. Hope I won't be half as bad. I'm better at writing poetry and haikus actually, been a while since I wrote anything longer than 500 words.



Lil c=        my S4 will be definitely different. Stay tuned!



Mollygig=        Truth be told, I'm intrigued as well as to where this is heading. I like to surprise myself with what I write.



Liz=        The WT Tabularasa moment--really a charged moment. Thanks for reading, update will be here soon.



*Update will be here in 5 hours or so. See you in a few!*

Sleek - Cool premise. Curious to see how you develop your AU.

I'm in, hook, line and sinker! Nice start!!! Can't wait to see where you take this!

Here come the blue skies, here comes the springtime. When the rivers run high and the tears run dry.
When everything that dies. Shall rise. Love is stronger than death. - Matt Johnson, the The

here's an update. will add more soon. :bounce




Part 3
Bargaining



"So," Fate hovered closer to where Willow was sitting, "Are we going to make that wish anytime soon?" Fate's deep ancient voice settled heavily into the air.

Willow shifted uncomfortably on the bed. She bit her lower lip and furrowed her eyebrows in deep concentration. Lifting her emerald eyes, she regarded Fate warily.

Fate hurled Willow an intense gaze. It pierced the redhead's mind and made it throb.

Mental flash

Tara entwining her fingers between hers. A shock of current ignited from where their palms touched, travelling to her forearms and prickling her scalp. She studied briefly the reassuring blue gaze of Tara before they magically barricaded the door with the soda machine as one.

Whoosing sound. Flames flickered and blazed a circle around Willow and Tara's sweaty bodies.A strong force yanked Willow's soul from her vessel, tilting her dangerously into the Nether Realm, but Tara's presence embraced her and kept her safe.

The feel of Tara's moist, velvety soft lips rubbing gently against hers as their bodies floated on the Bronze dance floor. Arms encircled each other. A soft smile lit Willow's face as she felt Tara's heart, and hers, thud against each other's breast. Willow inhaled Tara's sweet jasmine scent and let it suffuse her soul. She never felt this ecstatic being this close to another human being.

Willow's body trembled as she felt her loss anew.God, Tara. I miss you so much. She cried silently.

"How will I find her," Willow found her voice a bit shaky. "Without your help, will I ever find Tara?"

I got so lost.

I found you. I will always find you.

"You know." Fate stated calmly. Reading her thoughts.

Somehow that momentarily soothed Willow.

"Is it--going to be better? I mean, changing Fate, me not meeting Tara the moment I was supposed to…Buffy will be trapped in Faith's body…will, will my friends suffer?"

"I cannot guarantee that it will be a better version of your life now." Fate said and watched Willow's face fall. "I cannot also assure that your friends will be in no harm. But Tara will live longer--much, much longer. It will just take you awhile before you meet her. Without my help, people find each other quite late--maybe in the next lifetime, or maybe never--"

"I will find Tara." Willow injected every ounce of her faith in those words.

"Then wish.Say these words: Fate--keeper of paths, release me from your power. Uncross my path from my love."

"That doesn't sound pretty."

"Well it's no poetry." Fate looked at Willow expectantly.

"One last question, will I have the memory of this present reality?"

"No."

"Can I undo what I undid?"

"No. I thought that was your last question."

"That sounds kind of grim--if I made matters worse, do you at least have a talisman I could smash? Or, or a lamp I could un-rub? Or--"

"I am Fate. I don't need talismans." Fate cut her off rather curtly.

"But, you gotta gimme something to hold on here. I've done enough damage already. I've hurt my friends badly--I don't know if they'll forgive me. Besides- I won't have the memory of this reality.I am risking a lot here."

Fate seemed to ponder this for a while.

"Fine. I'll send one of my minions to help you should you need it."

Willow nodded her agreement. Her face set and determined. Soon my love. If this is the only chance I have of ever being with you again, I will take it.

"Fate." Willow's voice rang loud in the hollow room. "Keeper of paths.Release me from your power. Uncross--my path, from my love."

Willow stared into Fate's glittering eyes.

Pools of incandescent yellow swirled inside Fate's pupils and grew into larger orbs--sucking Willow slowly but forcefully into a tunnel of glaring white.


TBC

;)
***


Edited by: xita at: 10/19/02 1:21:17 pm

I knew she'd do it cuz Tara alive is much better than Tara dead...kinda sucky that she won't remember anything of them together though. I can't wait to see how you have them meet



--Michelle

The possible repercussions of changing history will be most interesting. Willow's aware of this, she cited the example of Faith switiching bodies with Buffy. Loved her resolute I will find Tara

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

great great great!!

Glad to hear, that my sig kinda inspired you.

Can't wait for more!

"I got so lost"
"I found you, i will always find you"

Wow, great. *sits back with drink and chips* Can't go anywhere. I might miss sumthing

BV

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

No memories of her past life and she still decides to do it? That is true love.

--------------------------------------

A.K.A. Liz


WILLOW:
"I'm Willow Rosenberg. 'Willow'!
Funny name."
TARA: "I think it's pretty."
********************
They love the women that will never love them. They are Lesbros!

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard the Fate Airlines flight to the unknown. Please fasten your seatbelts and remain seated in front of your PC night and day unless you are on drink and chips duty. We might hit some turbulence but we assure you that we will eventually reach our ultimate goal."



PC: check

Chips and drink (good idea, BV): check

Seatbelt: check



I'm all set. I'm ready for take off... Let's go!

"You are Willow Rosenberg, vixen-y lighter of the flame and keeper of my heart.”

(Camp Flutie by Rane)

This fic is awesome!! It's a great idea. I love it!



*Listens too saule77's announcement, before grabbing a window seat on the plane*



Okay, gots my PC, gots lots of coffee to keep me awake, food.... ready for take off!! I warn you, i'm a bad flyer



Can't wait for the next update



~ Jen

“Sleep well baby?” Willow asked, a little more pep in her voice now that she had a dose of morning caffeine.


“Like a log until my pillow got up and left.” Tara smirked and playfully slapped Willow across the shoulder. ~ All You Wanted - Nath

thanks for the flight announcement BV. Prepare to land...

3..2...1

touchdown!


***


Part 4


Missed Meetings




"What the--"

Tara MaClay felt a liquid warmth surge through her body. Her eyes closed momentarily and fluttered open.

Blue eyes alert, the blonde witch scanned her surroundings.

Her neatly made bed, bookcase, wall decors and candles appear to be undisturbed.

Tara strode towards her dorm window and peered outside.

The neatly manicured greens and looming buildings of UC Sunnydale seem to stare dully back at her.College students were ambling about or dashing off towards class.

Everything seemed to be--perfectly normal.

A faint flicker of yellow caught Tara's eye. Her attention was suddenly drawn towards the afternoon sky.

The sky today was a clear cyan. Too clear and too still to be Sunnydale sky, Tara mused.

Something passed here. A mystical energy. Tara was certain of that, but it's quite unclear what it meant.

Mentally, the blonde shook herself. Sometimes her keen intuition can be more bothersome than helpful. Tara glanced at her clock.

2:10 P.M.

She's running a little late for her meeting thing. A faint smile tugged a corner of her full lips.It wasn't so much of a real club meeting than a prowling ground for lonely lesbian women.

With that, Tara swung her knitted bag on one shoulder and took off.


***



A group of young women congregated inside a room.

"We come together, daughters of Gaia, sisters to the moon. We walk with the darkness. The wolf at our side through the waterfall of power to the blackest heart of eternity. I think we should have a bake sale."

"I don't know."

"The most important thing is the Gaian newsletter we need to get the message of blessing out to the sisters. Also who left their scented candles dripping all over my women power shrine?"

"Well, this is good." Willow spoke up."I mean, this is all fun ya know, but there's also other stuff that we might show an interest in, as a Wicca group."

"Like what?"

"Well, There's the wacky notion of spells, you know conjuring, transmutation.." Willow looked expectantly at the other students but was met with stony stares.

"Oh yeah, then we could all get on our broomsticks and fly around."

The Wiccan group broke into giggles.

Willow sighed silently her disappointment and inwardly withdrew from the group.

"Hey. Don't mind them, they don't know half of what they're talking about."

Willow found herself face to face with a blonde stranger. Her gray eyes were open and friendly.

"I'm Phoebe. I'm a psychic. Thought I'd check this meeting to see if there is anyone else here like me. Guess you can say being disappointed is an understatement." She gave a short laugh.

Willow smiled. "I'm Willow." The red head extended her hand. "Bunch of wanna blessed bees. You know nowadays every girl with a Henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she's a sister to the dark ones."

Phoebe smiled, but when she took Willow's hand, her face twisted painfully.

"Aaah!" Phoebe snatched her hand from Willow and clutched her head.

Alarmed Willow saw the blonde girl shaking her head vigorously from side to side.

"Wrong. This is so wrong." Phoebe whimpered, then somewhat more calmly turned to look at Willow. "Dire consequences. When someone plays with her own fate."

Willow felt her jaw slack as she saw anger brewing in Phoebe's eyes.

"You must find her.
Today
. You were supposed to meet her
today
. To delay is to die."

Scared shitless from her own outburst, Phoebe fled from the room leaving Willow staring numbly at her retreating back.

***


TBC
already done with the next part, just editing. gimme 5 hours or so.
Stay with me, okay?

okay. i only did a quick edit here. here goes nothing..




***



Part 5


Serendipity




"The next thing I know, I was thrown out of the frickin' freezin' streets! They f--ckin disowned me! Just because I fell in love-- with a woman!" An awkwardly thin girl was sobbing at the center of the circle.

Various sounds of sympathy echoed from all around the room.

"I mean, I think they would be more pleased if I said I got knocked up by some dumb jock and left to multiply warts and kids! That is so unfair.We should be allowed to love whomever we please!" The girl continued.

Cries of agreement rose inside the student lounge.

Tara sat in the farthest corner and watched the exchange with detached amusement. This is the third meeting of the UC Sunnydale Lesbian Alliance. And so far they haven't discussed anything yet besides the pains of coming out. Which, was fine by her, it's just that the she heard this story before from the same girl.

Tara decided to quietly slip away. She was near the room's exit when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Tara, right?"

A voice said near behind her right ear. Tara spun around and saw a tall, slender brunette beaming at her.

"Y-y-yes?" Tara silently cursed herself as her tongue decided to stutter.

The woman's hazel eyes discreetly traveled from Tara's open full lips, to her throat, down to where Tara's burgundy skirt hugged her hips.

Tara fidgeted visibly under the other woman's subtle inspection.

"I'm Linda." The woman extended a hand.

Tara was too dumbfounded that someone from the group approached
her
. She stared at the extended perfectly polished hand, hesitation on her face.

Unperturbed, Linda reached out and lightly touched Tara's fingers.

"I've noticed you here before." Linda said slowly, flipping her thick wavy black hair to one side. "And I just couldn't stop myself from going over here, and well,
talk
to you."

The way Linda looked at her, Tara knew
talk
wasn't the only thing Linda had in mind.

"I-I-I.." Tara gulped audibly.

"I was wondering if you would like to have coffee with me. You know, we could,
talk
about books, arts and uhm…exchange Sapphic tales?" Linda pulled her most dazzling smile, cocking her head flirtatiously to one side and tried to look as edible as possible.

Tara felt an overwhelming urge to flee.

"Ow!" Linda yelped.

Tara jumped in surprise and saw a black half-grown kitten nipping lightly the edge of Linda's jeans.

"Ewww…cat…get your filthy fur off me.." Linda whined annoyingly and was about to kick the cat off when Tara scooped down and took the cat away.

"She was just being affectionate." Tara said soothingly, more to the mewling kitten than to Linda.

"I. Hate. Cats." Linda said disgusted and turned away.

Tara stroke the cat's shiny black head. "Aww, kitty katty saved me. How can I thank you?"

The cat trained its intelligent gray eyes to Tara's and seemed to say something.
***


"Serendipity!!!" Fate hollered.

A black shadow slipped in front of Fate and seemed to bow before her.

"You summoned, my liege?" Serendipity squeeked.

"Drop the submissive servant act and sit over there."

The shadow appeared to sit where Fate indicated.

"I have an assignment for you."

Serendipity's tufts of smoky black ears perked up and her shadowy body bobbed up and down. "Oh Goody! Jolly good! An assignment!People to match and mate! Does this mean I get my powers back?"

Fate was almost amused at Serendipity's pathetic display. "No, but this is a mission that should you do well…" Fate let the words trail a second. "Your status will be restored."

"Oh! Oh my milady I won't fail you this time. I swear I'd be so good I--"

Fate cut her off with a raised bony finger.

"Should you disgrace me.Like what happened with that baker boy.."

"No. No such thing will happen this time. I will be
extweemly
careful milady."

Memories of how Serendipity missed her timing and accidentally ushered a young woman into the wrong bakeshop plagued Serendipity still.

The young woman's soul mate, the baker boy, ended up growing old and senile.Having never found his true love, he died a bitter old man alone. The young woman married someone else and was incredibly unhappy.Serendipity was punished to hear the two souls incessant wailing torment until they unite--which won't happen till the next two lifetimes. Her greater powers were stripped off and what was once her radiant countenance was now reduced to a sad billowing shadow.

"You will just monitor the witch's progress. The name is Willow Rosenberg. Do
not
help or interfere unless she asks for a divine intervention. Her path is not ours do meddle. She is unbound from my power."

Serendipity nodded eagerly.

"But the blonde witch--she is still in my fold. Guide her." Fate looked at Serendipity. "Go now. Assume an inconspicuous form."

Serendipity started to leave when Fate stopped her with her glittering gaze.

"Make me proud."

**


TBC

Hey Sleek!

First, gotta say, I just found this fic and I'm really enjoying it so far. This whole thing with Fate and Serendipity seems very cool. Plus there's the added bonus of watching our girls find each other all oevr again! Anyway, just wanted to say you're doing a great job, and keep those updates coming!

A Lesson To ME: "Death cannot stop true love. It can only delay it a little while."- The Princess Bride

3 WORDS:

I AM HOOKED!!!!

Willow:I knew it. I knew it! Well, not knew it in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know.

Wow. More please.

--------------------------------------

A.K.A. Liz


WILLOW:
"I'm Willow Rosenberg. 'Willow'!
Funny name."
TARA: "I think it's pretty."
********************
They love the women that will never love them. They are Lesbros!

I just adore how this story is unfolding!! But hey, if you wanna tell me what happens.....



-Will

"Hear that baby? You're my always."

"well, you know, when you play a lesbian witch you've gotta get killed in this fun kind of exciting way, so the heart was the way to go..."

"we have the most amazing fans though they LOVE us."

Interesting twist here, Tara not attending the Wicca meeting. Phoebe's insight must have really rattled Willow. That Linda one, definitely did not endear herself to Tara when she reacted so violently to the kitten. Serves her right.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

Awesome! That Linda girl....ewww...

Please update soon!

------------------
"I got so lost"
"I found you, i will always find you"