Hi kittens - this is the last section of Chapter 3.
Rating - I think this has shifted from NC-17 to a strong R, but my circuits are sort of overloaded so I can't be certain.
Disclaimer - some angst. Sorry, can't be helped.
*******
This was bliss, Willow thought as her lips closed on Tara's nipple and pulled it into her mouth.
Bliss, Tara thought as she rocked her pussy against Willow's and watched her lover worship her breasts.Willow nuzzled Tara's breasts - so firm, so soft.
She loved feeling Willow's slim body beneath hers, angular but still softly feminine.She released the nipple and simply watched Tara's face - watched as it opened up like a flower - a strongly attractive face that became beautiful as pleasure overrode Tara's defenses.
Tara gazed into green eyes, eyes that guarded so many secrets and hid so many hurts - eyes that when they made love held a look of absolute adoration.My beautiful lover.
Dearest love.******
Tara played with a few strands of red hair and smiled down at the drowsy redhead. Willow lay curled up, snuggling into her. It seemed that she had become a Willow pillow. She giggled a little.
“Shhhh, no little earthquakes,” Willow murmured, kissing her belly button.
"How you doing, sweetie?" She tugged a strand of hair gently.
"Sleepy." The redhead slurred the word.
“I know, but we should get up, get showered, eat something – besides each other, I mean.”
Willow chuckled. "But you taste sooo good," and licked her belly to demonstrate.
"MMmmm." Tara wriggled reflexively. "And so do you, but ..."
"No more snuggles?" Willow lifted her head and smiled, belying her disappointed tone. The fire in her green eyes was subdued and she looked as contented as a well-fed cat.
"We really should get up." Tara tried to look stern, but her resolve was clearly wavering. "But snuggles are nice," she allowed.
"We deserve snuggle time." Willow scented victory.
Tara glanced over at her alarm clock. "It's after four – Buffy’s out of class now." Her eyes widened. "D-Do you think she'd just drop by without calling? I mean, she knows we're doing 'spells' this afternoon." She grinned at the appropriated word.
Willow returned her grin. "They were pretty wonderful 'spells', too."
Her grin softened at the memory and Tara felt hers do likewise. She could look at Willow like this for hours. With a sigh, she shook herself. "Buffy?"
"I don't know, Tara," Willow replied, furrowing her brow in thought. "She might. She's kind of at loose ends right now. No Riley and all. And she doesn't suspect anything like this between us." The redhead waved a hand at them and the disheveled bed.
"Are y-you going to t-tell her?" Tara stammered out the question.
"Of course I am!" Her certainty faded. "I'm just not sure how. I mean, well, I guess you start at the beginning – but I'm not certain what the beginning is." Willow rested her head back down.
Tara frowned slightly, but let Willow avoid the issue for now. For her, 'how' was comparatively easy, and direct was best. She knew the words she would choose: "I'm in love with Willow." But she wasn't certain that Willow would use her own version of that statement. Five easy words, six syllables, and one name substitution, but her lover might reduce it to "I'm having sex with Tara." She could accept that – she had long ago learned to enjoy the moment – but she wanted the other desperately.
She asked a simpler question, "So should we get up or not?"
"Yeah, I guess we should – but I sooo don't wanna." Willow sat up, her nose scrunched up in distaste at the thought. "Showers, um, how are we going to do that?"
"Did you pack a robe?" Tara slipped off the bed.
"Nope, just an oversized sleep shirt," Willow admitted.
"That should work fine." She snagged her lover's zippered bag and tossed it to her.
Willow snickered.
"What?"
"Ummm, you kind of, well, you know – bounced. I mean, not all of you, just your breasts," the redhead explained with a pleased grin. "Bouncy, naked Tara."
She snorted, but returned the smile. "You do, too, you know."
"Not as much!" Willow protested.
Tara grinned as she scooped up her robe and slipped it over her shoulders, "Ready, sweetie?"
"I guess what I was asking is, is this a together thing or not?" Willow asked as she pulled her shirt over her head.
"What would you like?"
"You mean, you'd really shower with me and all? I mean, sure, you just sort of offered, but I'm a little surprised, is all." Willow looked conflicted. "I, um, never did that with Oz. We, uh, never had the opportunity, I guess."
"Y-You can, if you w-want to." She stammered as she repeated her offer, a little hurt by Willow's mention of her ex-boyfriend.
"Oh, I'm big with the wanting to, but, hey, still surprised here. I just thought that, um, you wouldn't want everyone to know. And two women in the shower together, well, that's sort of notice-y." Willow blushed a little bit.
Tara sighed. "I've never made being a lesbian a secret, Willow."
"Well, yeah, I know, but I was thinking more on a personal level. You know ... us."
There was no easy way. "They all know you're my lover." Tara forced the words out, trying really hard not to stammer, and flinched inside at the resultant flat sound of her voice.
"Huh?"
"Th-They already know."
"You told them?" Willow looked even more surprised.
"N-No, th-they sort of, um, overheard. W-We were k-kind of, um - n-noisy," she explained.
"They heard - us?" Willow sank back onto the bed, stunned. "They ... We ... Uh ..." The pieces suddenly clicked into place. "Oh. My. God. That's why ...," she swallowed, "... how all those people know my name."
"Y-Yes." Tara couldn't bring herself to look in her lover's eyes.
"I know you screamed my name, and I, uh, screamed yours, didn't I?" Willow asked softly.
She tried to reassure her lover. "I sh-should have t-told you. Th-They w-won't h-hear anything again. I d-did a s-silencing spell b-before you got h-here. I'm s-sorry, so s-sorry."
*******
Willow wasn't really certain how she felt, but embarrassed had to be right up there – somewhere near the top, right next to confused. That smug was also up there was part of why she was confused. Her eyes were drawn to Tara, who had known last night why strangers were greeting her. Tara – shy, quiet, unobtrusive Tara – had known for over a day that strangers had heard them making love. Strangers who were her neighbors to be sure – but not friends. But that wasn’t what was bothering her girlfriend.
No, Tara's concern was totally for her. She studied the blonde, who was carefully not looking at her as she repeated "I'm sorry" like some kind of mantra. It truly looked like she hoped the earth would open up and swallow her. Tara was wholly focused on her and her reaction. Willow sucked in a deep breath as Tara's feelings for her became crystal clear. Not only did the blonde love her, she was in love with her.
And – god! – she didn't know what she felt, exactly. Need, want – those were physical. Pleasure, happiness, warmth, caring ... she could even admit to love, too. Loving another woman hadn't been a stretch for her; she'd loved Buffy for years, but that was as a friend. Tara was far more than a friend, but was she "in love" with her?
Willow licked her lips nervously and acknowledged her need to be avoid-y Willow on that question for now. One thing was certain: she couldn't let Tara beat herself up over this any longer. That hurt to watch. She was a bit surprised to realize that it hurt much more than watching Buffy agonize over Riley. She slipped off the bed and crossed to where the blonde stood.
"Hey, Tare." She touched her lightly on the shoulder. "Hey. It's okay. I'm not mad or anything."
Tara looked up. "Y-You're n-not?" She seemed astounded.
"No, silly. Shocked, surprised, maybe even a little proud – well, I don't know about that last." Her heart leapt as Tara gave her a fleeting smile. Part of her brain added “giddily happy” to the list of what she felt.
Tara wiped her eyes and let herself be hugged.
"So – is it a really, really good silencing spell? 'Cause – we were kind of loud again – and I'm pretty sure I, uh, rattled the door." Willow blushed at the memory as she held her lover.
"Yes, it's a good one," Tara confirmed with a shy smile.
She brushed blonde hair back from Tara's face. "That's why you have the extra candles lit, isn't it? And the incense?"
"Uh-huh. I didn't think you'd noticed." Her lover smirked just a little, her confidence returning.
"Hey, distracted here by this beautiful woman," she squeezed Tara gently, "but not really blind. It just took me a while is all."
"You, um, enjoyed the distracting?" Her lover arched both eyebrows in amusement.
"Definitely. Really big with the enjoying here." Willow was curious. "This spell – does it have to be renewed every time we want to make love or is it a one-time deal?"
"Um, it needs to be renewed, but it's Wiccan, so the renewal is cyclical," Tara explained, gently rubbing her back. "It'll sync with my cycle, since I'm the originator."
Willow frowned, suddenly worried. "Uh, Tara? Does it have an on/off switch? I mean, this is Sunnydale, and ..."
"It's okay, sweetie. I can turn it on and off as needed, so if we need help we can get it. I'll, uh, show you how to control it so you can do it, too. In c-case you're here when I'm not." She smiled slightly. "We can re-set it after we shower. But, Wiccan spells tend towards balance. No one will hear what happens in here for the period of time that the spell is active, but when that's finished it'll get kind of noisy in here. We'll hear – well, everything outside the room, amplified – for an equal period of time."
"Tara, that's awful!" Willow exclaimed. "We can try to be quiet."
"No." Tara shook her head emphatically. "I like hearing you, a-and I think you like hearing me, so no trying to be quiet. Besides, Scott upstairs says headphones work really well, so I bought some while I was out today."
"Scott lives upstairs? Oh, lord, we were that loud?" Willow moaned.
Tara grinned wickedly. "Uh-huh." Then more soberly, "So – shower together or not?"
"Um," Willow hesitated. "Not. But that's just for today," she added.
"Okay." Tara looked a little disappointed.
"Hey." Willow gave her lover another squeeze. "Not today doesn't mean never. It'll be my first time in a shower with a lover.” She kissed Tara's soft lips and whispered seductively, "And with you, well, I'm thinking I'll want to take my time." She released Tara and stepped back. "Besides, I'm kinda afraid that if we shower together we'll take so long that Buffy will come looking for us. And I'm really not into adding visual exhibitionism to the auditory kind!" 'At least, not yet,' she added to herself, shivering a little. "Okay?"
Tara smiled with apparent relief. "Okay!"
Edited by: Triscuit7 at: 8/3/02 5:33:26 pm
by Triscuit7 » Fri Aug 02, 2002 7:26 pm 
Exercise... 
Yeah, plenty of exercise went on there. Thank you for those, um, lessons. OMG.... Did I just say that outloud. 
at: 8/3/02 12:34:19 pm
Poor Willow, finding out that everyone heard what Tara and herself were up to. Hee.... 
I would kill over with embarassment, it were me. 
) Willow deserves to be smug, but then again so should Tara 
...i know i extended my congrats to triscuit, but since you're here, i'll extend the same to you. i'm glad you guys had a good time on the honeymoon too...ummm...i know we as readers certaintly enjoyed the "research" results! 
at: 8/5/02 4:19:33 pm