The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: New story: I'm Sorry
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 5:29 pm 
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1. Blessed Wannabe
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Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:22 pm
Posts: 13
Location: Ontario, Canada
This is my first story posted here and my second Willow/Tara fic. I'm not going to post my first one, because that one was total utter crap and I don't want to embarrass myself with it.

So... here's I'm Sorry.

Originally, it's based off of a couple of lyrics I pulled from a favourite song of mine, 'Perfect' by Julia Murney.

All the words that Willow says is directly from the song.
-

The wind whips around her on this bright yet chilly autumn day, but Willow doesn't shiver. She doesn't even move as it flings auburn hair into her eyes, stinging on impact. This pain means nothing to her, for it is nothing compared to the pain in her heart.

The pain, the hurt, the agony is always there; but it is underlying most of the time. She is scared of what will happen if she lets it consume her, like it did last time. She's afraid to let her anguish out, because if she does, then her dark side might reappear and stain her hands and her soul even further. So she represses it, but it never really leaves. Today is the first time in a long time that she has let herself feel everything. Today is the first time in a long time since she has let it all out.

Because today, Willow is in a graveyard. She sits in the grass, kneeling in front of a certain stone that is erected in the ground.

She traces the letters that are chiseled into it, moving along the almost cutting edge of the 'T', to the curve of the 'R'. She pretends that it is her lover's face she is running her fingers along instead; She pretends that she is facing her lover, seeing her hair, lips, mouth, eyes, and more importantly, the love that radiates from every inch of her body, instead of the tombstone that now marks her final resting place.

Willow can almost fool herself into believing the images in her mind. Yet the key word there, is almost. As much as she tries, as much as she wishes, she cannot do it. In the end, Willow always remembers that her love is in heaven, and her body rests deep in the ground below her.

Though this breaks her heart, it heals her at the same time. For she knows that Tara's spirit is always there when she comes to visit. Willow can't see her, but she can feel her presence.

Tara is watching.

Tara is listening.

Throughout her life, Tara was always the one to bow her head and hide her face bashfully behind a curtain of silken hair. But this time, it is Willow's turn to lower her face and eyes to the ground. Her fingers clench the fabric of her skirt as she whispers to Tara's grave and spirit,

"I'm sorry for the million awful things I did and said. And the million other things I could have said and done instead."

Her breathing grows ragged, but she continues on.

"And I'm sorry that you won't spend each minute growing old with me."

"I'm sorry that our life will never be."

Willow stands up, looming over the grave. She feels Tara's arms wrapping around her shoulders in a ghostly embrace, she hears whispers of comfort said in her lover's voice in her ears, but the pain is simply too much to bear. Willow presses her lips to her palm and blows the kiss to the stone, before turning around and walking away, never looking back on the grave.

In her mind, what could have been their future flashes in and out of focus. She pictures she and Tara waking up on a Sunday morning, smiling at each other in the new light, knowing that they love each other without a word

In her mind, children that they would never have ran around, laughing merrily with their mothers.

In her mind, the pictures on the walls rattle as the children thump around their little house.

A lifetime passes behind Willow's eyes. A lifetime that Willow wants, more than anything, but can't have. She knows that Tara wanted... wants that fantasy as much as Willow herself does. She knows that Tara is aware that they can never have it.

She knows that Tara hurts as much as she does.

So Willow is strong, because she knows that Tara is watching her.

Tara is watching.

Tara is listening.

Willow's hurt is much.

Willow's heart is shattered.

But Willow remains strong.

She doesn't tear up as she passes row after row of tombstones. She doesn't sob as she walks through the gates of the cemetery. She remains stoic, she remains quiet, she remains strong.

It is only after she reaches the room that she now occupies by herself, that one last flash of the family she and Tara can't have passes by.

It is only then, when Tara isn't watching, that Willow allows herself to cry.

_________________
"There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if we're even the same people we were... If you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and... Can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?" - Tara Maclay


Last edited by Darklighter on Thu Jan 08, 2009 2:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: New story: I'm Sorry
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 6:42 pm 
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5. Willowhand
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Joined: Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:52 pm
Posts: 297
Location: Alberta
This a beautiful beginning, Darklighter.

The characterisation of Willow is perfect, her pain is palpable and it is easy to imagine her putting on a brave face in the graveyard (and is a possible explanation as to why we didn't see her cry at Tara's grave site in the show).

I hope you continue...

Jen

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BABY BLOG NOMADIC BLOG GEEKY T's
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. ~Helen Keller


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 Post subject: Re: New story: I'm Sorry
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 6:50 pm 
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1. Blessed Wannabe
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Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:22 pm
Posts: 13
Location: Ontario, Canada
Thanks so much ^^

I most certainly will continue writing, but I'm not sure if it will be all Willow/Tara. Whenever I write Willow/Tara stories they're usually literally 'burst on inspiration' kind of ideas.

_________________
"There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if we're even the same people we were... If you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and... Can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?" - Tara Maclay


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 Post subject: Re: New story: I'm Sorry
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:35 pm 
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28. Com...plete

Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:18 am
Posts: 4834
Location: Portland OR
This is awesome so far. Some of the writing feels a little awkward, but the emotions are conveyed wonderfully.
Can't wait to see more :)

_________________
"To days to come."
"All my love to long ago.


I hope, we'll have more happy ever after
I hope, we can all live more fearlessly...

~Jas


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 Post subject: Re: New story: I'm Sorry
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 2:49 pm 
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1. Blessed Wannabe
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Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:22 pm
Posts: 13
Location: Ontario, Canada
thank you :]

_________________
"There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if we're even the same people we were... If you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and... Can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?" - Tara Maclay


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