General Spoiler Warning for Season 4.
Title- Angels and Goddesses...Chapter 11 Part 2...Yoko's Oh No.
Rating for Part 2...PG-13.
Copyright Disclaimer...All characters belong to Joss and ME...blahdy blahdy blah...what a shame.
Spoiler's- Season 4..."The Yoko Factor."
Notes...Sorry about the other day...had the whole chapter entered and watched it disappear when I did spell check. No spell check today...hopefully there will be nothing too horrible in the way of mistakes...I am and always will be a terrible speller but I will not risk losing the chapter again.
Now....it is probably time to let our poor girls out of the bathroom...what do you think...yeah...that's what I thought too...lets get them out of there.
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Chapter 11- Yoko's Oh No....Part 2.
Willow stood in the doorway surveying the scene. Anya turned her attention towards Willow when she entered, shifting herself on the toilet to cast an inquisitive eye.
"Lovers" she stated appraising Willow, "you two are lovers."
Willow's eyes widened, moving between Tara and Anya. "Oh" she mumbled suddenly understanding what had been going on. She looked at Tara who was avoiding eye contact. She moved nervously from foot to foot as she leaned back against the tub.
"Whats going on here?" Willow demanded. "What are you doing to Tara?"
"Me? I am not doing anything to Tara, she is my friend. I wouldn't do anything to her."
"Tara, Tara, what's going on baby?"
Tara raised her eyes and looked at Willow mutely. She did not know how to respond, she did not want to exacerbate the situation.
"Lovers...you two are lovers." Anya repeated shaking her head. "I knew I felt something between you, I just knew it."
"You already said that...except for the knowing it part. What have you two been doing in here?"
"We've been talking about sex."
"Sex?"
Tara began to quietly sidle her way towards the door.
"Yes sex, sex between women...I don't know why you are acting so surprised, you are the one out there announcing it to everyone."
"I wasn't announcing sex Anya."
"But you do...you do have sex with each other don't you?"
"That is none of your business."
"Why is it none of my business, because I am in the bathroom? I have ears too...you two are girlfriends aren't you? Isn't she your sex buddy like Xander is mine?"
"I can't believe I am having this conversation with you."
"You don't have too...Tara and I were doing fine until you came busting in here."
"I'm glad I did...you were clearly in here grilling her about our sex life, making her uncomfortable. What gives you the right?"
"I wasn't grilling her. I was asking questions, showing interest and support to my friend. I was also speaking in generalities by the way. And why do you assume I am making her uncomfortable. We came in here to get away from you and Buffy and Xander to begin with...we didnt come in because of the magnetic draw of this beautiful tile and porcelain."
"I..."
"You what? You assume the worst and keep getting upset. Just listen to yourself."
"I am not upset" Willow huffed "I am just tired of everyones judgements."
"Who is judging you Willow, I haven't heard anyone judging you, I've only heard you talking. Maybe you are the one with the judgement problem. First you are yelling out there....then you are busting in here...it is no wonder Tara ran away."
"Ran away?" Willow looked towards the tub confused. Tara was gone.
"Didn't notice did you?" Anya called to Willow's back as she ran towards the living room. "You know if you weren't so consumed with yourself right now you might have noticed your girlfriend leaving."
"Oh God, what did I do?" Willow whispered standing in the middle of the empty living room staring at the open
door to the apt. "What did I do?"
Tara was gone for the second time that day. Willow hadn't listened, focused, paid attention to her at all. Once again she had become so angry and distracted she had let Tara leave. No, she had driven her to leave.
"Where are you?" Willow cried running for the dorm. Willow searched the dorm, the library, the campus. No Tara, she clearly did not want to be found.
Willow collapsed beneath a tree to assess her damages. Everything she had done today had been a mistake. One disaster after another...miscommunication on miscommunication, driven by her anger, fueled by her insecurity. If only she could start over, how did it get so bad so quickly? She was happy, they were happy, what happened? How could she let this happen?
Willow furrowed her brow and began to cry. She had no idea how to fix this. She wanted to blame someone, Anya, Buffy, anybody but herself...it would not work anymore. This one was her doing. She had been selfish and insecure. She had assumed the worst in her friends. She was the one who was being judgemental. It was her...all her.
Willow finished her cry and tried to pull herself back together. She needed to go back to Tara's room, she needed to try again, she had to make this right.
The door opened before Willow could knock. "Willow?"
Willow looked despondently into the blinking eyes before her.
Tara opened the door a little further so Willow could enter.
"I looked everywhere." Willow rasped.
"I needed to be alone." Tara answered "I needed a moment to think...away from all the noise."
"Are you going to break up with me?"
"Break up with you? What? No? Are you? Are you breaking up with me?"
"Uh no...its just that I...well...I have been kind of stupid..and not really thinking about us, I mean you... and I wouldnt blame you if..."
"Don't you think any more of us than that?"
"What...no...I'm worried...I have made a terrible mess of things...I haven't done anything right today."
"Willow it's okay."
"No, no it's not, I'm not, I thought I was okay but I'm not. I am so worried about what others think that I didn't think about you, I..."
Tara leaned forward and silenced Willow with a kiss. She cupped Willow's face gently in her hands and whispered "shhh baby, shhh, it's okay, it will be okay."
Willow melted into Tara's arms. "How can you be like this, why aren't you angry?"
"Because I understand sweetie. I know that this is hard for you. I know you need time to get used to being gay, to being out, to being with me."
"No, not you."
"It's okay Willow, I understand...what I have trouble with is your anger...you can't see past what you are feeling. You don't listen....I don't know how to work with that. You are so powerful, you are so intense, the energy you generate is incredible, but control is a problem. You lose focus, you get stuck, you let your emotions control you..you are not in control of them."
"How can you say that, that I'm powerful. I don't feel powerful, I'm just Willow, banana eating, math wiz, computer geek Willow. Nothing powerful here, just an insecure gal who doesn't quite get how someone as wonderful as you could love me."
Tara tightened her arms around her love and took in an audible breath. "I do love you Willow, from the first moment I saw you. I do love you, you are my Willow and I love all those parts of you."
Willow clung to Tara and cried. "I don't know how you can, I'm such a mess. I'm not even good at being gay yet...gay pride hey look at me woohoo."
Tara couldn't help but begin to laugh. "You don't need to be good at being gay silly, just be good at being Willow, that is all you need to do."
"That's all."
"That's all."
"And the rest?"
"The rest will follow."
"And the anger?"
"Well, that might take a little more work, but we will try together. Insecurity seems to be one of your trigger points, stick with me and we will see if we can do something with that."
"We do this together."
"Always together."
Willow smiled and kissed her love. "I have no idea what I did right to be given the gift of you."
"You don't need to know sweetie, just be happy, I am, everyday that we are together."
Willow grinned the dark angry places finally refilling with light.
"You know Wil, we really should get to work now."
"Work? You want to work now?"
"Well, you do have a disc to decipher as I recall."
"You want to work???? How could you want to work? Aren't we supposed to have wild and fabulous makeup sex now? Isn't that what we are supposed to be doing now. I hear it's supposed to be really really good, you know all passionate and hot. Oh, but of course we always have good sex, I mean hot and steamy and...uh..."
Tara was flushed and laughing."You are so adorable when you do that...and terribly hard to resist. It is always good with you Willow, and makeup sex sounds great. But..."
"But? But...but...but...why is there always a but?"
"Willow?"
Willow was pouting.
"Willow?"
"Oh I know...but it was worth a try. Maybe later?" Willow whispered slyly tracing a rogue finger down Tara's throat."
"Definitely later" Tara whispered leaning in to blow a line of air by Willow's ear. "Definitely."
Willow smiled against Tara's neck. "Mmmm...later it is. Don't worry, I will have that disc decrypted in no time."
"I'm counting on it darling, I'm counting on it."
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Yahoo...I got it entered...hurray. I hope you like it....next stop...a jump ahead (all that middle stuff was boring anyway)
to Family.
Athame.
PS....Welcome aboard Pineapple Head, always glad to pick up new kittens...sooooo what kind of tricks can you do? (Athame bats her eye lashes).
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To be honest, I was just able to finally read the update. I've been very busy lately and I'm sorry for not dropping by sooner.
Hee..
More, soon?? Please?? Can't wait to see what happens next. :-)
My lady, I was reading this wonderful fic again and I suddenly realized you already have a dragon. Um...I was wondering if perhaps you might have enough room in your heart for yet another dragon?
I could never replace your Lady Dragon but would greatly appreciate the opportunity to call you friend. So, My Lady, will there be an update to this wonderful story?
or, if you prefer...i'm sure i can make aimee do tricks!! ...wonder what i can do
....so....I have created a table of contents...might make this tiny little story a little easier to navigate. I will write it here...insert it at the beginning...and include it subsequent updates...hopes that makes it a little easier to access if desired.
So glad the computer didn't eat this update!! And a wonderful one it was.
at: 1/18/03 7:48:53 pm
