God, The trio, grrr I really don't like them. They r startin their evil tricks earlier, hopefully the scoobs can end em earlier!! And especially now that the Buffsters back, it could more likely happen, maybe! Can't wait 4 more!

"Don't warn the tadpoles!...
I-I have frog fear."

*Puff* - I just can't seem to write Willow and Tara not together...go figure. As for the nerdy trio, I can promise that they are absolutely not in Chapter 6. However, you may not like who is Chapter 6 any better.



*Grimaldi* - Thanks . Warren is such a sleaze that I could write him reading the phonebook and he'd still come across as a major sleazoid. I liked writing the Spike/Angel conversation too.



*Bobos Mom* - Hiya BM. Hope you are well and I totally get the real life issues

Thank you so much for your kind words. The way the fic is going, I really want to touch on a couple of elements from the show (Bufffy's ressurrection, Willow's magical mis-usage, Tara's Family and Demon background etc.) and see how different I can write them and yet still have them be recognizable. I also have to contend with the overall story of the bet with Osiris but at least each chapter can have its own mini theme as well.



And yes, the terrible trio are the 'little bads' for now. But Warren does have his own pesky plans. That should be the theme for a few chapters later, I reckon.



I think I really do miss having Cordelia on the show. I do like her in Angel but having both Angel and Cordelia interact with the Scoobies is just so easy to write. They have such history together and I totally agree that it is unfortunate we don't get that on the shows anymore.



So thanks for the feedback and the new yoga pose .



*MissQuirky* - I think we all agree that the nerds are evil and majorly disliked (so at least I'm writing them correctly). There is good news and bad news about Buffy return. She should be able to take on the nerds but she also has to contend with real life...I mean her life in Sunnydale

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

I liked the conversation between Spike and Angel, very interesting to throw Angel into the mix of Buffy coming back. And the spell was different for Willow I think the biggest thing is the lack of a sacrifice of blood. Will that affect things later? I hope so!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

*xita* - I do miss not havingAngel and Cordelia on the show so its fun to write them in. Yes, the spell was done differently since Spike performed the blood sacrifice. It should come into play later



Ok, on with the next part...



Spoiler Warning - It starts from Seeing Red and then completely veers off in all kinds of tangents. It covers both the Buffy and Angel universe for now.

Disclaimer - All characters, names and some dialogue etc belong to ME and Joss Whedon. However, due to improper usage and gross mishandling of characters and plot lines by aforementioned parties, it is with great pleasure that I (and all the other writers on the board) use them for the reading pleasure of kittens everywhere.

Rating - PG

Feedback - Yes, please. More…More…More

Notes - Sorry for keeping everyone waiting for the conclusion of the chapter. Hope it's worth the wait.



Title : I Dream of Thee



Chapter 5c



“Buffy.” His voice carried such hope and longing, that Dawn and the rest rushed forward immediately. They all had to see, had to confirm for themselves that the spell worked and Buffy was truly back and alive.





"Angel?" Her vision was still blurred and she felt not quite right, unbalanced somehow. However, the one thing she could always recognize was the sound of Angel's voice. Her name always sounded so right from his lips. She was home and despite not knowing where she had been or why she could not fully remember what had occurred, she was home. She saw Spike's face come into view as well and was slightly unsettled to see that he too, was in his Vamp face. "Wh-what's going on? Where am I?"





Dawn could hear Buffy's voice. It had worked, she could see Xander crying and Willow's almost tremulous smile. The spell had worked and her sister was back. She couldn't begin to describe the feelings inside of her. The voice in her head had stopped the minute she heard her sister call out Angel's name. However, she still needed to see for herself that Buffy was alive and breathing so she pushed pass Spike and reached down into the coffin to help her sister up. She did not expect Buffy to scream.



"Noooo!! What have you done? How could you?" Buffy recoiled from Dawn's outstretched hand and screamed the words at Angel and Spike. It could not be. There had to be another explanation. Despite her weakened state, she pulled herself out of the coffin and away from the abomination that was her sister. How could this have happened? As her vision cleared, all her other screams were silenced when she saw all her friends there, dead and staring back at her. It was her worst nightmare come to pass as she stared into the vamp faces of Xander, Cordelia and the rest. Even Willow had not been spared. "Oh! God! Why?" Buffy knew then, that God did not exist in this world anymore. How could God exist and yet allowed her sacrifice to create such a hell on earth. Her friends and sister did not deserve it and perhaps that was why she had been brought back. She was still on the ground and scrambled backwards when she noticed Giles slowly walking towards her, his arms outstretched, as if wanting to calm her down.





Dawn wanted to cry as Buffy's behavior was scaring her, but what had hurt more was that her sister seemed disgusted by her. She could see Willow's look of incomprehension and hoped that the redhead could get through to Buffy to explain that she was truly back and there was nothing to worry about any longer.



Willow wasn't at all sure of what was going on but she could sense something not quite right. It was as if there were other magical forces at play as well. She knew Tara sensed it too. "Do you think it's the after effect of the spell?" she whispered cautiously, not wanting to alarm the others.



Tara shook her head, she felt like there were external forces at work, but could not pin point where they were coming from. Everyone there still looked so lost, their feelings of joy at hearing Buffy's voice had turned to hurt and confusion at the Slayer's current behavior. She was currently on her knees, her arms around her middle, her voice hoarse from crying and uttering the same words over and over again.



"No! It's not right. Why, God, Why?" Buffy could feel the blood pumping in her veins once again. Her vision was slowly returning and it confirmed her greatest fear. She was surrounded by her friends, her friends who had all been turned. Some how, despite her sacrifice, the world had not been saved and Dawn and the rest were now Vampires. She needed to get out of there. So instead of doing her duty and dusting her former friends, Buffy Summers staggered to her feet and ran into the night. Logically, she knew what had to be done but the anguish in her heart was overwhelming. All of her family were gone; they had been replaced by Demons. She knew that she had died, had sacrificed her life so that the world could be saved and her family would be safe in it. How had things gone so wrong? The fact that she was once again alive and on earth was a sign that she had failed. Perhaps she was now expected to make amends and carry out her sacred duty. She recognized the street she was on and knew she was in Sunnydale. The pain she felt when she pinched herself convinced her that she was indeed alive and awake. This was not a dream. She had died but was now back and she finally accepted that it was to correct a mistake that had occurred. One, that caused the death of her family. She knew then that she needed to go to her house and get to her weapons chest. There she would find the implements that would allow her to wreck annihilation upon the Demons that negated her sacrifice and killed her family and friends.





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"Buffy! Buffy! Please, it's us." Willow's voice was pleading but it didn't get through and the Slayer had run away. "I don't understand. She looked almost frightened of us. She thinks we've done something... Giles?" Willow didn't understand what could have made Buffy react in such a way. Buffy had recognized Angel but she had turned away from Dawn.



"I…I am at a loss. Perhaps she is disoriented from her ordeal. Despite her resilience, coming back from the dead cannot be easy. We need to find her and…help her." Giles knew that things were immensely wrong but he didn't want to blame it on the spell just yet. It did seem to go off without a hitch and therefore, Buffy's peculiar reaction could just be the after-effects of the resurrection. He marveled at the calm way he was assessing the situation. Despite living on the Hellmouth, it wasn't every day that he witnessed a miracle of this proportion. His Slayer was alive and that was enough for now.



"We'll split up. Willow, take Xander, Anya and Wesley and check the Magic Box." Angel had initially wanted to run after Buffy. She was alive and that was all that mattered. However, her anguish cries and pleas had unsettled him. It was as if her spirit was broken. He knew that they needed to find her and help her confront whatever internal Demon she was fighting and in order to do that, they had to work together.



Giles understood what Angel was trying to do. He also noticed that Dawn was trying so hard not to cry despite her sister's rejection. "Dawn, we should go back to the house and check there. Tara and Cordelia, perhaps it would be wise for the both of you to accompany us."



"Well then, that leaves the gang reject and my sire. Where do you suggest we look?"



All Dawn could think about was the fear and disgust on Buffy's face when she tried to reach out. It was so different from the last time she had seen her sister, on the tower. There, Buffy had hugged her and told her to live and look after the rest of the gang. "Maybe…maybe you should check out the site…where Glory…"



"Right, sure thing pet. Don't worry, we'll find her."





----------------------------------------------------





"Why don't I hang on to the pendant there, for you" Warren held out his hand. He wasn't about to allow Jonathon to end the spell anytime soon. The longer the Slayer was distracted, the better it was for all of them. Breaking into the Magic Box was only the beginning. The talisman and potions they were going to steal could be used not only for their benefit but also as a bartering tool for the services of some of the Demons and Vampires in Sunnydale. He would lead them all and soon, bring the town and the Slayer to her knees.



"S-s-sure, but you are going to destroy it after we're done right? I mean I am not sure what the long term effects of the spell will be."



"God!, what is it with you…' I'm not sure of the after-effects… Could you be anymore whinier if you tried. And why do you care so much about the Slayer anyway? It's not like she even cares if you exist." Warren was seriously reconsidering Jonathon's early exit from the group. Despite his current usefulness, it was obvious that he still had a conscience and that wouldn't do especially once the game started getting rough. Warren expected it too, in fact, he was counting on it.



"Yeah, Whinathon!, You're so lame. I mean we're on our way to being super villains and all you can do is talk about the Slayer. I mean it's like she's your girlfriend or something…She's not…Is she?" That would have been interesting as Andrew always thought that Jonathon had something for Warren. It was the way he would say Warren's name or discuss his power staff when they player D & D.



"NO! I just don't want to make an enemy out of a girl who can break me in half. Call me old-fashioned that way."



They had reached the Magic Box, and as planned the Buffybot was there, holding the door open.



"Welcome, masters. Can I be of more service to you? I am programmed to give a mean shiatsu massage in my underwear."



"Cool!" Jonathon may have had respect for the real Buffy but he wasn't about to say not to the offer the Bot was making.



"Later. We need to get the stuff first." He then looked at the Bot and continued, "You…Give us the map of where the old guy hid everything."



"Yes, Master or shall I just call you Warren the Great?"



"Yeah, sure. Keep an eye on the door and tell me if anyone comes. You guys, go and get the stuff. I don't want to spend any more time than we have to. We have Demons to summon and havoc to wreck."



-------------------------------------------



Buffy could feel the tears coursing down her face. She was crying for so many reasons but most of all, she was mourning for all of them. She had recognized Cordelia and Wesley as well and realized that Angelus must have turned them and some how Spike got his chip out and turned her family in Sunnydale. It was her worst nightmare come to pass. When she first started slaying in Sunnydale, she remembered that the thing that frightened her most was her own death and subsequent return as a Vampire. However, after facing death so many times and actually dying, she understood that her greatest fear was losing her family and friends to the one thing she spent her life fighting against.



She could see her house in the distance. It used to represent home and hearth and safety but since her mother's death, it had begun to represent loss. Now, it would always remind her of revenge. She would need the weapons in the house to take out the Demons that were inhabiting the bodies of Dawn and the rest. From this time onwards, home would never be on Revello Drive. She didn't think she would be able to live in the house which had more bad memories attached to it than good ones.



The key to the front door was still hidden in the potted plant outside and though she was probably never coming back, she didn't want to break the door down. The living room looked slightly different and she could see Willow's computer stuff carelessly strewn about the dining table. Her heart clenched at the sight. She had to come to terms with the fact that her best friend wasn't alive anymore and she would never be able to cry on her shoulder or talk about boys. Buffy knew that thinking about the past and what she had lost would normally weaken her. However, she had nothing left to lose now. Everyone she loved or liked or even tolerated like Anya, was now dead. She would use the hate building up inside of her to her advantage. If she died avenging her family then so be it. She wasn't afraid of death anymore. She knew what awaited her and it was more welcomed that this hell that had been created. She made her way up the stairs knowing that it would probably be for the last time. As she entered her room, she could see that her weapons chest was still at the foot of her bed and she tried to ignore Willow's clothes scattered about and the pictures of the gang that still adorned the walls. If she listened hard enough, she could still hear the echoes of Dawn's laughter and voice. In fact, she was hearing Dawn's voice. They were in the house. She didn't have to go looking for the Demons for they had come to her.



Her Slayer senses were coming back and she could tell that there were at least four of them and they were coming up the stairs. She grabbed hold of Mr. Pointy and slowly opened her room door. She could see Dawn and a blonde Vampire at the top of the stairs and despite her vow for revenge, she could not bring herself to attack Dawn straight away and instead, rushed out and tackled Tara.



Giles really never expected to encounter Buffy at the house. He figured that she would have gone back to the scene of her death. But here she was grappling on the ground with Tara and by the look of it, she was trying to stake the shy young woman. "Buffy! Please, you have to stop this." He was trying to reason with her and grab hold of the stake with little success. "You're back. We brought you back. Everything is fine."



Buffy realized that Vamp Giles was trying to corner her and immediately sprang up and went into a defensive stance. "As a sacrifice or a trophy?" she asked defiantly. These Demons had actually brought her back and in doing so had underestimated her mettle. She was not going to be a distraction for them, instead she would be the harbinger of their demise.



"What?" Cordelia really couldn't understand Buffy's whole demeanor. It was as if she regarded them as enemies.



"You know what? I may be a bit rusty on account of being dead and all but I still remember how to dust Vamps. It's like riding a bike. So here's the deal, I dust you and we call it even for disturbing my rest in peace… peace."



"But we're not Vam-" Giles never got to finish his sentence as Buffy charged at him, her stake aiming for his heart.





--------------------------------------------------



"Do you think she came back wrong?" Anya asked as the four of them made their way to the Magic Box. "I mean like she's all stir crazy from being in the ground too long."



"No!" Willow knew that her denouement was not going to be enough to convince anyone that there was nothing wrong with Buffy. Even Tara who never judged anyone had told Willow to be careful. She noticed that Buffy's aura looked different. Something or someone was mixing the colors around, like a painter's palette. "She's just disoriented. She'll be ok as soon as we find her and explain. The shop is up ahead. Let's hope she's there."



"Well, somebody certainly is." Wesley could see that the shop door had been left slightly ajar. Like Willow, he hoped that Buffy was there and that they would be able to calm her down enough to listen to their explanation. Despite the fact that she had run away from them, she was still the Slayer and possessed Slayer strength. If, she decided to attack them they would have little chance in getting away unscathed.



"I hope she didn't break the door. Giles can't afford to replace it." Anya huffed. She noticed that Xander had hardly said a word all throughout their trek to the store and she was worried again. His hands were shaking and he was trying to hide the fact by clenching them at his side. He needed a drink and was trying desperately to shake the feeling. "Xander, at least she 's alive." She softly whispered as she took his clenched fist in her small hand.



It wasn't that he was an alcoholic but it was just that the roller coaster of emotions he felt over the past months was too much to bear. Buffy death had already unbalanced him. Adding to that, his other bestest bud carried around so much guilt and pain that he couldn't even look at her because it hurt too much. Dawn and Giles carried out such a good impression of him and his dad with the cold stares and not talking, that he almost made a joke, only to stop himself in the end as he couldn't even summon up the energy for that. But things did get slightly better and a lot of it had to do with Tara. He couldn't believe that Willow had fallen in love so quickly and with a woman as well. It wasn't that he was old-fashioned or gender biased, it was just that his Willow wasn't his anymore and so many things had changed and most of it not for the better. After Buffy's death, he had sworn to embrace what was left of his life and family but he didn't do either and instead sunk into a cornucopia of regret and self-hatred, fueled by alcohol. He was supposed to look after Willow and the rest. He was the big guy but instead Willow had almost been lost herself, and Dawn was already on the road to self-loathing. Tara had saved them and for that he was grateful. She had come from some Demon Dimension and yet found a connection to Willow and became a surrogate mother to Dawn. He still didn't understand her motives or trust her completely but Willow seemed less broken and was even trying to mend him and that definitely was a good thing. Now, all they needed was to ensure that the Buffster was truly back and perhaps he would not feel the need for another drink.



Wesley slowly pushed open the door and motioned for the rest to follow, only to come face to face with Buffy; or more precisely the Buffybot. He wanted so much to believe that it was Buffy before him but her clothes and mannerisms were that of the Bot. Most telling of all of course was the alarm and smoke that was emitting from her that started, as soon as it spotted him.



Warren was just putting away the Amulet of Belona when he felt Andrew grab his arm but by that time the Buffybot had already sounded the alarm. Someone or more likely more than one person had entered the shop and it had resulted in a hell of an alarm. With any luck, the smoke would be enough cover for the three of them to escape under, if only he could find Jonathon. Andrew was already holding on to him like there was no tomorrow but at least the idiot had remembered to wear his mask. He could hear the interlopers trying to get their bearings and immediately pushed Andrew towards the stairs as he too donned his own mask.



Jonathon was standing behind the counter when they had come in. He didn't really recognize the first person through the door but he saw Xander and Willow and dived for cover then. Only after hitting his head on the floor did he realize that he had a mask on and the smoke from the Bot had probably disoriented them. Still, he didn't want to take any chances. Warren had promised that they were just going to steal a couple of talismans and get out. There was no need for confrontation, especially with the people that he would normally consider his friends, well on a good day.



"What is going on? Willow can you turn that thing off? The smoke is going to ruin the crystal display." Anya was trying to get Willow's attention by shouting over the din but the redhead seemed perturbed by something and had wandered further into the shop.



It wasn't that Willow had a sixth sense about danger but living on the Hellmouth did sort of make one more sensitive to any perils and to quote Buffy quoting Spiderman, her spider senses were working overtime. It wasn't only the Buffybot' s weird reaction but she could also feel that there were other people in the shop, intruders of some kind. So she walked towards the stairs as she realized that if anyone really wanted to rob the store, they would be near the counter where the cash register was. However, if they wanted to raid the store then they would be on the second level, where Giles hid all the dark tomes and locked up all the powerful talismans and amulets.



Xander noticed that Willow was looking around suspiciously and out of the corner of his eye, he made out two figures making their way down the stairs. He couldn't see too clearly on account of all the friggin smoke but they were dressed in black from head to toe and were carrying backpacks and that always spelled trouble. He immediately pulled at Wesley's arm alerting him and called out to Willow. "Will, they're on the stairs!"



"Impedire!" Willow called out, but the intruders were slightly quicker and barreled into her before the spell could take form, the three of them tumbling to the ground in a heap. Xander rushed towards them then and grabbed hold of the jacket of the biggest attacker. He could feel the material tear as his opponent pulled away from his grasp and purposely hit out at Willow, who was lying prone on the floor. As soon as Xander heard her cry out in pain, he let go and covered her frail body with his thus allowing the two intruders time to get to their feet and run out the door.



Anya noticed the third intruder cowering behind the counter and tried to corner him with Wesley's help but he was small and rather quick and jumped over the counter and made it to the door to join his cohorts. Wesley had tried to follow only to be accidentally tripped by the Buffybot who had stopped with the siren and the smoke. He tumbled unceremoniously to the ground as the last of the three burglars made their way through the door, lugging a filled backpack. All in all, they were lucky not to have been hurt more but as Anya looked around, a sense of trepidation was flooding her veins. The cash register had remained unopened and untouched and normally, that would be enough to bring her joy. However, she could see the small safe box that held some of the more potent potions and amulets had been left opened and empty on the counter. Her worries further crystallized when she slowly made her way to the second floor. Xander had helped Willow to her feet and was trying to make a joke.



"Well, who needs the Keystone cops when we're around, huh? You, ok, there Will? Took quite a hit there, little wiccan. Better take it easy." Xander couldn't understand the dire looks on Willow and Anya's faces but he figured, they were upset because someone took their magicky stuff. He could relate sort of because he'd probably be upset as well, if someone he didn't know, touched his power tools, well his actual tools of power.



"Uh, sure, yeah. I just want to see what they took." Willow may have been disoriented and slightly hurt but her brain was working overtime. The intruders had been specific in their task. They weren't robbing the Magic Box for money or for kicks but for talismans and potions. Magical items, that with the right spell, could be used to rain destruction unto them all. She didn't need her 180 IQ to know that the intruders who had taken the items, were probably the ones who had the Christos Pandect. Maybe Giles was right and the consequences of bringing Buffy back were now revealing themselves. Only, she had expected the consequences to be magical in nature and not borne out of the trade that she had considered insignificant.



Anya could hear Willow following her up the stairs and knew that the redhead was thinking the same thing. The bumbling burglars weren't that bumbling after all and had managed to find most of the more powerful talismans and potions that Giles had kept locked up in various cubby holes round the shop. "Oh, crap!" Anya summed up their day rather succinctly. For in that evening alone, they had brought the Slayer back, albeit in a wrong state. At the same time, they had not been able to prevent a burglary that could probably result in chaos and destruction, for all as items stolen could be used in conjunction with the Chistos Pandect, and none of it were in the possession of the Scoobies any longer.





"Anya, what did they take?" Wesley saw the looks of dread on both Willow and Anya's faces and knew instinctively that the news would not be good.



"By my count, about fifteen thousand dollars worth of stuff…if you go by the prices on e-bay."



"Yes, yes, you were robbed, I get that. But fifteen thousand dollars worth of what exactly?"



Willow knew that she should field the question. She had been the precursor of everything that had happened thus far and therefore had to take responsibility. "Talismans and amulets and potions…you know…everything your friendly neighborhood evil magically inclined person would need to create havoc and devastation."



Wesley wasn't that stupid either and read between the lines as to what Willow was trying to get at. The message he was interpreting did not bode well for he like Anya and Willow before him, realized that they had been set up. The people that Anya had probably traded with, had planned well and were now more dangerous than any number of Demons or Vampires. "What do we do?" he asked dejectedly.





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Tara never expected to meet Willow's best friend this way. It would have never occurred to her that Buffy would not only attack her, but try and kill Giles and Dawn as well. Buffy may have recognized her Demon within and attacked her because of it but Giles, Dawn and Cordelia were innocent and she was currently attacking them as well.



"Tara!" Dawn cried out in alarm when Buffy kicked out at the blonde who was trying to pull Giles out of the iron grip of the Slayer. "Buffy, please…It's me Dawn… Little punkin belly. Please, you don't have to do this."



Cordelia noticed that Dawn's pleas were falling on deaf ears as Buffy seemed to have one objective in mind and that was to stake them all. It seemed to be due to the fact she thought all of them were Vampires. She raced to the rooms, trying to find a weapon to use against the deranged Slayer. She could see that despite Giles, Tara and Dawn fending off Buffy's attacks as best they could, the Slayer was slowly regaining her strength and co-ordination and would soon hurt or kill them. Tara had already been kicked in her abdomen but was still trying to hang on and Dawn had a few cuts on her face and hands. It was then that Cordelia realized that this was what she had seen in her mind numbing vision. She only hoped that this meant that it was still not too late and the outcome could be changed. Luckily enough, reinforcements had arrived in the form of Spike, Angel and Gunn.



Angel immediately assessed the situation and pulled Buffy off Tara and Giles. Spike grabbed hold of Dawn and moved out of the way as well.



"How did you know?" Cordelia asked Gunn who was more interested in seeing how the Slayer was reacting to the presence of her ex-love.



"Oh, Angel remembered." Gunn could see that despite being taken by surprise and being outnumbered, Buffy was still in a fighting stance and was about to attack Angel. It didn't make sense and he hoped that it would result in any major injuries. But currently, the only thing he was sure of was that it was going to be quite a show; the battle of two Warriors of The Light.



"Remembered what?" Cordelia was also transfixed by the scene before her, as Buffy and Angel were really going to fight each other. Dawn had gravitated towards Tara and was safe for now and Spike was supporting a pretty beaten up Giles.



"Your vision, Cordy. Angel remembered that Dawn and Tara were together and you said Buffy was attacking them. So we booked out of where we were and came here. Looks like Angel-man was right."



"Buffy, I don't want to fight you." Angel was relieved to see that Buffy was still unhurt and she had also not managed to hurt any of her friends and family too badly. Now, all he had to do was calm her down enough to find out what was going on and rectify the situation. It wouldn't be too difficult, Buffy had done the same to him when he had come back from Hell. However, the one distinction here was that then, despite his ferocity then, he had not wanted to kill Buffy. Here, the Slayer looked all set to dust him. "It's Angel. We…all of us, Giles, Cordy, Dawn…we…we just want to help."



"Did you do it, Angelus? Did you turn them all?" Buffy had sworn that she would be strong despite the ghastly situation but her voice broke on her last question and she could feel her throat tightening and hot, wet tears streaming down her face again. "Or did you and Spike take turns?"



"Now hold on a bleeding minute-" Spike couldn't believe what he was hearing. The Slayer was definitely off her rocker. He may have wanted to turn Willow and the rest but that was before. Things were so different now.



"Spike!" Angel cut Spike off. He didn't need Spike antagonizing Buffy any further. He looked at her then and instead of taking a similar fighting stance, he put up his palms, "We didn't turn anyone and I'm not going to fight you."



'It was a That was the only thought going through her mind. Angelus was trying to lull her into a false sense of security. He had done it before and people had suffered as a result. She had never been able to summon up enough hate and anger to kill him when he first turned. Due to that horrendous mistake, Miss Calender had died. Things were different now. He was probably responsible for the deaths of every one of her loved ones and she could feel the hate and anger flowing through and within her. The Vampires surrounding her may have borrowed the faces of her loved ones but that was where the similarities ended. They were all Demons and Angelus was the worst one of them all. So she launched herself at him pushing him to the ground, and ignored the screams to stop that issued from the mouths of Dawn and Cordelia. She hit out at him repeatedly and was slightly taken aback to see that he was actually not hitting back or protecting himself. Her ferocious blows had split his lip revealing the sharpness and length of his fangs but yet he still did nothing.



"Man, he needs help." Gunn was about to jump in the fray only to have Spike grab hold of his arm. "Let go, Punk-ass or-"



"You'll only feed her delusions. Angel knows what he's doing. I just hope he can hang on long enough to convince the Slayer of the fact." Spike could see Buffy completely wailing on his sire and he took no pleasure in it. She wanted to draw it out and was just hitting Angel over and over again.



Dawn didn't want to watch but couldn't bring herself to look away either. It was so wrong and someone had to make Buffy see. She could feel Tara's hand in her own and looked at the blonde for some kind of explanation.



"Her aura's all wrong. Like she's under a spell or something." Tara had said that loud enough for even Buffy to hear and yet, she just kept hurting Angel and repeating softly to herself. It wasn't too clear but Tara could make out some words.



"I died...all of them…live…Why? Sacrifice…not enough…all have to die now."



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"So what do we do now?" Wesley had to repeat his question as Willow seemed mired by her feelings of failure once again.



"I don't know." She used to always have the answers. It was her contribution to the gang, that and spells. However, Willow felt tapped out. She could envision the repercussions of her actions over the past few days and realized that it was as bad as letting Buffy die in the first place. Not only did she screw up with bringing back Buffy, whole. She was also the reason that there were people or Demons out there who had in their hands Magics and Spells potent enough to destroy legions.



Xander could always tell if he was being slower than the rest and this was a great example. All he could make out was that Anya, Willow and Wesley viewed the burglary as something that rated high on the really bad things o'meter. He knew he couldn't really contribute to anything and decided that perhaps he would just look around for clues. If the burglars took stuff then the good guys needed to get the stuff back and he would see if he could find any clues as to who the burglars were in the first place. As he slowly turned around and put his foot down, he felt the slight crunch of glass breaking. He had stepped on a clue. During his scuffle with one of the attackers, Xander had torn his pocket and apparently, something glassy had fallen out. "Uh oh, I may have found… and lost a clue." He sheepishly shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the crushed pendant he had stepped on.



------------------------------------------------------



Again it was as if something had shifted within her. Initially, it was akin to seeing a light after being cocooned in the dark for a long time. However, this shift was like looking at her reflection in still water only to have it ripple and re-form again into something similar but not totally the same. Angelus's face had reverted back to his human one but that would not deter her. Buffy raised her stake and decided to end it once and for all. She needed to do this and would then kill the rest and end it forever.



"No, please." Angel wasn't sure if he could speak but he tried anyway. It was such a waste to die before attaining his own absolution but at least Buffy was alive again.



"No, Buffy, you can't" Dawn couldn't let it happen so she ran forward and held onto her sister's wrist with all her might.



Buffy looked up into the face of her sister. She could see Dawn's tears and clear blue eyes. She looked around then and saw the faces of everyone there, Spike, Giles, Cordelia and even the two new people. It could still be a trick and they had all decided to revert back from their Vampire features. She slowly shook her head. Buffy noticed that the blonde woman who had been holding and protecting Dawn was slowly walking towards her and she tensed.



"I…I think you were under some kind of spell t-t-to make you think we were V-v-vampires." Tara was so afraid that one wrong move on her part would cause Buffy to stake Angel and kill Dawn but she had to try and explain. Buffy's aura had changed again and looked more normal though a bit ragged around the edges. "I can read auras and yours was d-d-different just now, f-fragmented but it's b-better now. More whole."





Buffy couldn't process everything fast enough but she did realize a few things. She had died but had been brought back but something had gone terribly wrong. She had thought that the very people who brought her back were Vampires and because of that acted accordingly, only to find out that it had been an illusion. She had hurt and nearly killed, ‘Oh God!’…Buffy looked down at Angel's badly beaten face and cried out in horror. "Oh God! I…I didn't mean…I'm so sorry." She couldn't do this. It wasn't right. Buffy scrambled from her position and tried to run down the stairs but Spike stood in front of her.



"It's ok love, everything is ok. Don't you worry…Welcome back."



Buffy frantically looked around. She couldn't leave or face Giles and Dawn, who she knew were standing behind her looking to her for some kind of sign or explanation. So, Buffy slowly sank to her knees and wept into her bloody hands.



It wasn't how any of them pictured her homecoming to be but Buffy was back and perhaps that was enough for now. Dawn and Giles slowly walked towards her and knelt down to embrace her in their arms and whisper words of consolation and comfort. Despite Buffy's reluctance, Dawn still pried her hands away from her face and held them in her own. Dawn could feel Angel's blood on them and hoped that it would be the last time her sister had blood on her hands.



-------------------------------------------------



"Tara says they found her at the house. Apparently, she had attacked them be-"



"Is Tara ok?" Willow knew that she should have asked if the rest were fine as well as if Wesley had spoken to Tara on the phone, it would be safe to assume she was well enough to carry out a conversation. But Willow really didn't want to assume anything. Tara and her well being were essential.



"Yes, Willow. All of them suffered some minor abrasions and bruises when Buffy attacked them as she thought they were Vampires." Wesley didn't want to convey his own unsettled feelings before he fully understood the situation and therefore decided to leave out the fact that Buffy had wanted to kill them all and had nearly succeeded.



"Vampires? My God! She really did come back wrong!" Anya was afraid. The last time she was this afraid was when Xander had proposed and she really believed they were going to die. Currently, with a live but crazed Buffy on the loose and the fact that somewhere in Sunnydale, three people possessed the knowledge to kill them all and end the world, she was feeling downright terrified.



"No, Tara says it was probably a spell and it was broken just in time or she might have killed Angel. As it is, she did give him quite a severe beating."



"But she's fine now, right? A hundred percent high octane pure Buffy, right?" Xander walked slowly towards Anya. He noticed that she was holding on to the side of the counter so tightly, that he could see the map of delicate veins against her white skin. "Don't worry, it'll get better from now." He wanted to say so many other things and help calm her down better, but he was still fighting his own craving and that was the best he could do.



"We…we should get home. We can see for ourselves that Buffy is fine and alive. We'll deal with all the rest later." With that, Willow walked towards the door. She knew that once again she was not dealing with the most pressing issues but she needed to get home and see that both Buffy and Tara were ok and then she would think of how to fix the mess that she had inevitably caused.

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

Hey sweetie!! I guess I haven't been in your thread in awhile but you really do know what I think of this already. You rocketh much!!!! Oh, just an aside but did I see the mention of new Yoga positions?? tee hee..I am so bad!! Love you sweetie!! *big dragon hug with hands and tail*

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

Buffy is back but that was weird with her initial reaction. I am hoping though she doesn't react like in the show and can appreciate being alive now. And.. xander I think is the first person to not be completely happy with Willow finding Tara. He doesn't quite trust her. Interesting.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

What should have been a joyous time destroyed by Warren the Geek. I especially felt sorry for Dawn, Buffy's reaction probably hurt her most of all. It was interesting to get a look at how everyone felt about it though, Willow feeling guilty, blaming herself for it going wrong, Xander's looking for a reason not to drink.



Xander breaking the crystal that Jonathon had used was a nice touch. That Xander is so clumsy!



I'm worried about Willow, she's still shouldering a heavy burden of responsibility. So glad she has Tara.



Another great update. Thanks so much.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

*Drakkenfyre* - Thanks sweetie! Cute dragon by the way. As for the yoga poses, my pre-natal yoga class starts next month

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

Well, thank you. I always thought I was a cute dragon myself. Oh, you meant the avatar!! Well hell!! Can't blame me for trying.

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

Ok, ezboard keeps eating my replies



*xita* - I had this long reply typed up with regards to Buffy etc but now its gone . Anyway, I hope to at least give Buffy slightly better direction although she may still have some problems with being back. As for Xander, it's more the alcohol talking currently. I do hope to write a Xander/Tara scene that should show his insecurities and maybe Tara's insight.



*mollyig* - Again, I had this really long reply and it's gone too. I feel bad for Dawn as well but hopefully, she's coming off as slightly more mature.

It's funny that in the show, Xander's clumsiness has such bad timing so I decided that in this story, it should work out better .

For me, Willow's guilt is a precursor. I don't think I'm going towards the magic addiction storyline but more towards what could make Willow use too much magic. I guess guilt would be one as well as protecting her loved ones. We'll see what happens.



*Drakkenfyre* - Ok, both the avatar and you !

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

Interesting update Jomarch, hopefully Buffy won't feel much lingering guilt there is enough of that on the show anyway. I like how Tara knew although I was kind of hoping that Buffy would remember who Tara was *Sigh*. Anyway, good update and I look forward to the next part.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

Aww, shucks! . You think I'm cute!!

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

Whoo hoo an update. What can I say about this fic. I LOVE IT....I know this may be wrong of me since we have that deal no hurting Willow/no Dark Magic on my part.....but please feel free to have Willow go all Dark and do something really slow and painful to the Three Nimwits.......just make sure Tara brings her back to the Light Side.







_________________ WOLFLORD _________

Sometimes I think of them doing spells and I do a spell myself. Xander in Restless

*Puff* - Buffy will have to deal with a lot and guilt is part of it. However, hopefully I'll write it different from the show . As for Buffy recognising Tara, I never thought of that...hmmm...that's interesting...



*Drakkenfyre* - Yes I do



*Wolflord* - Hello! THanks for reading and loving the fic. And believe me, I do remember our deal about hurting Willow. However, she does have some ways to go before the three idiots really piss her off so I''ll keep your permission in mind . I will promise that Tara will always be by her side though. Hope you like the next update.

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

Spoiler Warning - It starts from Seeing Red and then completely veers off in all kinds of tangents. It covers both the Buffy and Angel universe for now.

Disclaimer - All characters, names and some dialogue etc belong to ME and Joss Whedon. However, due to improper usage and gross mishandling of characters and plot lines by aforementioned parties, it is with great pleasure that I (and all the other writers on the board) use them for the reading pleasure of kittens everywhere.

Rating - NC-17, I think...just to be on the safe side

Feedback - Yes, most definitely. We're not quite half way yet so I do hope that the story is flowing along nicely and I have managed to surprise some of you or not….

Notes I – I have a new beta, funkyasian who is stupendous and really quick. I do have to thank her for betaing this chapter. I also want to thank Jae for helping me with the past chapters despite having to prepare for school. Have a great time at orientation. I love my betas (past and present) you guys totally rock

Notes II - Well, when I first started writing this chapter, I knew what it was suppose to be about. However, the first scene which was going to be rather short kinda got out of control. I really did not intend to write about their first time and I really don't think I've done it justice. Please be kind…



Title : I Dream of Thee



Chapter 6a





"Hey there! Feeling all snuggly and warm?" Willow was amazed at her current position. She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her favorite fluffy sheep jammies on and looking at Tara who was lying underneath the covers, reading one of Dawn's Harry Potter books. Willow never imagined life could be this good. She could hear Buffy next door, getting ready for bed and if she listened hard enough, she could probably hear Dawn singing in the shower. Despite Buffy's initial confusion and attack on her family and friends, she seemed to have recovered well and spent the past two days resting and talking to Giles and Dawn. Willow understood that it wasn't all hugs and puppies and this was just the beginning. There were still so many uncertainties that needed to be worked through. Angel and his friends were still discussing the best time to leave and there was the burglary to worry about. To Willow's immense surprise, Giles had not blamed her when he heard the news. He looked aghast when he realized the full extent of the theft and just informed them that it was a situation that had to be dealt with soon. Even though, she could not have been happier Willow was currently still worrying about one thing in particular. She still wanted to talk to Tara about the charm spell but she was frightened, as Tara had not really said she was staying in Sunnydale either. They felt so right together and Willow wanted Tara to be by her side always but she wasn't sure if that was what Tara wanted or needed.



Tara nodded at Willow's question and smiled when she noticed the cute pajamas that Willow was wearing. It made the redhead look cute and sexy at the same time. Tara could see Willow's brow crinkling and knew that she was again thinking too much and it was most probably about the theft at the Magic Box and their current situation. It was obvious to Tara that she and Willow fit together. They matched each other in temperament and magical ability. Furthermore, every time they kissed or held hands or touched each other, Tara felt such passion and love that it took her breath away. Tara wanted so much just to accept the situation and not think about anything else but she could not. Her experiences in Pylea taught her that bad things could happen to anyone whether they deserve it or not. She still had to find out if she really did deserve being in a demon dimension; if being there meant she was a demon too. Maybe for tonight, the best thing to do was not to dwell on the past just yet or make up her mind about her future but to revel in the present and show how much Willow meant to her. She put the book aside, let the covers fall from her shoulders and crawled across the bed to Willow. The sudden dip in the mattress alerted Willow to the fact and she looked up expectantly.



Willow always knew that if she loved someone, she would want to be with them, in all aspects. She had accepted Oz into her life and loved him so very much but even when they were making love, he had always held back since he didn't want his wolf side to show. It made Willow feel like she couldn't connect with him fully. She knew he loved her but he always had to have a degree of control and their lovemaking was never passionate, always bittersweet. That was Willow's only experience until Tara. In actuality, they still had not made love yet. There had been an incalculable number of kisses so deep it made her knees go weak, and a lot of cuddling and caressing that conveyed love and longing. The amazing part of it was that she felt so much passion from just doing all those things. She understood fully that when they did make love, it would be something she would cherish because it would truly be her first time experiencing being with someone she loved completely and who in turn completely loved her. She looked directly into Tara's startling blue eyes and moved in to receive the kiss that was promised in them.

Tara had never known what it was to love someone so deeply and fully. She had dim recollections of her mother but had never dreamt of her in Pylea or when she came back here, but there were vestiges of a strong love there. She knew that she probably did love her family in Arizona as well. However, that love was mitigated by feelings of uncertainty. There were stories she remembered reading as a child, fairytales about princesses and true love and she had revisited them in Pylea during the more difficult times. It had given her a modicum of hope. In some of her better dreams there, she would be the one rescued and loved. She knew what sex was but she could never grasp what it meant to make love. There were slaves in Pylea who when they weren't made to work, would come together to forget. They performed an act that was not borne out of love but out of a need to erase where they were and consummate a need to show that they were human and mattered. Tara had been propositioned a number of times but she had always refused. She believed in love and even at the worst times of beatings and pain, she had never let go of that belief. It may have faltered but in her heart, she knew that the feelings in her dreams could come true. Now, they had. Willow made her feel loved and she was ready to physically show Willow her love.



Previous kisses they shared were always used to convey and reinforce one thing - faith. Faith, in each other and faith in their bond and love. The kissed they shared now was passionate and expressed need. A need that was physical and needed to be fulfilled as it had been promised in every touch and contact they shared. Tara instinctively cupped Willow's face in her hands as the kiss deepened.



Willow moaned as the heat of their contact spread throughout her body. She could actually feel the nerve fibers in her limbs tingling in anticipation and desire. She slowly leaned forward even more, her knees on either side of Tara and her palms flat on the bed, supporting her body weight. Tara hands were warm against her skin and the intensity of the kiss raised the temperature even further. Tara sank back slightly, and looked up at Willow, the redhead's eyes were slightly closed and the redness of her just-kissed lips was a stark contrast to her milky white skin. Tara slowly began to trace Willow's cheek with her finger. It was such a beautiful face and as she neared Willow's lips, the redhead let out a sigh.



Willow could feel Tara everywhere, on her skin, surrounding her, enveloping her in a way that made her feel alive. Tara's fingers were tracing her lips and she flicked her tongue out to taste them. She wanted so badly to taste Tara, to consume her even. But she knew that this beautiful experience should not be rushed. She opened her eyes then, suckling at Tara's fingers made her hungry for more. She drank in the sight of the blonde lying beneath her, Tara's beautiful hair fanned around her and she looked at Willow silently consenting to the unasked question.



Willow didn't hesitate. She straddled Tara and slowly began to unbutton the blondes' pajama top. Each time she undid a button, she would bend down and rain kisses on Tara's skin. She was taking her time and enjoyed every second of it. As she undid the middle button, she slowly pushed apart the fabric and almost gasped for Tara's breasts were amazing to see. Round and full with the most perfect erect nipples. Tara looked down shyly but Willow touched her cheek then, leaned down and whispered in her ear. "Beautiful…you're so beautiful and these…" Willow slowly kissed around one of Tara's nipple and could feel the blonde shudder beneath her. She proceeded to kiss the other one but this time, she used her tongue to draw a circle around it before slowly kissing it and then trailing her lips way up pass the cleft in Tara's throat to her full lips.



Tara could feel each and every touch of Willow's lips on her body; each point of contact, leaving an invisible imprint of heat and ardor. She could kiss Willow forever, each languid moment forever lost in time but enabling them to move forward to new explorations. Willow's hand was stroking her breast, drawing circles within circles and trailing down her breastbone; such tender touches that ignited her senses. She could feel the blood rushing in her veins and it sounded so loud, yet in reality only the soft sounds of their joint whispers and moans were emitted. She slowly pushed Willow up and heard the redhead's plea, "No…."



But she needed to see Willow too and started undoing the buttons of her sheep pajamas. Willow realized what Tara was trying to do and though she felt the acute loss of Tara's skin on her lips, she let the blonde undo her buttons and push the top pass her shoulders. Willow had always known she was too skinny and would never be thought of as beautiful. But, just looking down into Tara's eyes, she could see such beauty and grace reflected there, that she truly believed that she could be all that and more to Tara. Willow knew that she was not only in love with Tara but also needed to show just how much. She could feel her own wetness flowing and the feeling of bliss emanating from every contact of skin on skin, but her need was ever growing and she began to pull off her bottoms and tugged at Tara's as well. Tara giggled then, a sound of pure joy and mischief as their tangled legs were preventing Willow’s effort. She stilled Willow's tugging, rolled the redhead onto her back and pulled off Willow's pants in one smooth move. It was something she had wanted to do ever since spotting Willow wearing them and apparently, she had a gift for undressing Willow.



Tara could see Willow's panties was wet through and held her breath. She had done that, she had made Willow want her physically and it surprised and soothed her to know that Willow was feeling what she was. For the pressure building up at the pit of her stomach and the fervor she was feeling within was such new and wonderful sensations. To have her body react physically to a caress or a kiss was breathtaking but to know that it was borne out of love was magnificent. She could see Willow's aura, such vibrant colors, mingling with her own, giving form to their bond, moving between them and surrounding them.



Willow put her hands on Tara's hips and languorously undid the drawstrings and pulled the material down together with Tara’s panties. She wanted to taste Tara so badly, her hands were shaking, not out of fear but out of want. Willow placed her palm around Tara's neck and guided her down and again, they kissed. Only this time, it was Willow who initiated their contact and guided their bodies. She wasn't going to hurry with what she had in mind. Her hands traced a path all around Tara's luscious body and likewise, hands stroked and touched Willow. They were discovering each other for the first time, and though their physical need to climax was there, there was no need to rush. Expressing their mutual love through touch reigned in their physical need for now.



With the most gentle of touches, Tara's fingers stroked the small folds of Willow’s sex, which were slick and swollen with arousal. Willow arched her back, wanting Tara inside. Her eagerness to give herself over completely to the blazing sensations that were searing her mind and body nearly made her forgo her exploration of Tara and instead guide the blonde's hand. However Willow was also struggling with her own overpowering need to savor Tara and so she reached out for Tara's hand but not to guide it inwards. Instead, she raised it over the blonde's head and placed her other palm on Tara's shoulder, slowing pushing her to lie back down on the bed.



Willow draped her body over Tara's; not wanting to bear down on Tara with her weight but she couldn't resist full contact of skin on skin. She could feel warmth radiating from Tara as her teeth tenderly nipped at Tara's earlobe as she inhaled the scent of her love. She tasted like peaches smelled of vanilla and Willow could not wait any longer, so she lovingly moved down Tara's body. The blonde shivered imperceptibly.



It wasn't that Tara felt cold, in fact, having Willow lay on top of her was protection enough from the cold or anything else. It was just that every part of her wanted Willow so much. Then she felt it, Willow's amazing tongue swirling around her clit. She could feel herself clenching and holding her breath, wanting to better experience the new sensations flooding her body. She could feel Willow suckling, her tongue darting in and out, her nimble fingers gripping the tender flesh of Tara’s thighs. The sensation of being branded by Willow etched forever on her soul. Desire was fighting through her consciousness and emanating from the back of her throat in a low moan.



Willow was in heaven. Just tasting the wet essence of Tara was intoxicating. A mixture of texture and taste all culminating in a sensation of warmth and musk that made her body quiver. Her initial aching need finally sated, Willow looked up. She could see Tara's startling cerulean eyes, heavy lidded, her mouth slightly parted. Her face suffused with light and bliss. Once again Willow descended, probing deeper with fingers and tongue.



Tara had no words. Her hips bucked up and then drop back down, grounding into the already tangled sheets beneath her. And slowly they found their rhythm, moving together in perfect unison, Willow closed her eyes and lost herself to Tara, only Tara, always Tara. She was her life and her love, precious and essential. So intent in their union, they didn’t even notice that they were floating a few inches off the bed.



"WILLOW! YES!" Tara's climax when it came, raced through her torso and limbs. Such powerful convulsions of muscle and tissue that left her body shuddering. Willow had felt the force of Tara's orgasm flow through her and again opened her eyes to see that the both of them were slowly descending back to the bed. She pulled herself upwards then, and laid down facing Tara, her fingers tracing Tara's collarbone and eventually resting across her torso; words of love and adoration falling from her lips.



Tara tilted her head slightly to hear Willow's gentle entreaties and responded in kind. "You make me feel special and loved. In all my dreams… and my whole life I have waited for you. Prayed that you were out there waiting for me. I never saw your face, but I knew I would recognize your love and you would recognize mine." Her voice was thick, not with tears but with love so strong, it was almost tangible.



"Always." Willow took Tara's hand in hers and brought it to her lips.



"I love you." Three simple words that carried such meaning and weight. For to Tara, it signified everything she was and ever could be. She had lost so much in the five years in Pylea; her youth, her spirit and she had always thought she had lost her ability to love. With those words, she realized that like Willow, who had hidden her heart, she had hidden her love as well but that was in the past and Willow was her future.



Willow could feel the tears prickling her eyes. Tara's heartfelt words had touched her heart. Despite her hard set efforts in trying to protect her heart, she had completely lost it to the blonde the minute Tara had comforted her in Angel's garden. She felt Tara's strong spirit and love trying to envelope her and protect her from her own pain then. It paled in comparison to the feelings Tara's simple words invoked in her now. They made her feel blessed and invincible. With Tara's love, she could face anything, overcome anything.



"I…I lo-" Tara's finger on her lips stopped her words and she raised her eyebrows in surprise.



"No, I know. You don't have to say it." Tara didn't want to force Willow into admitting anything. She remembered her conversation with Cordelia and knew how difficult it would be for Willow to admit her feelings.



"But I want to. I thought I knew what love was. Then I had these dreams and they made me feel so loved. They frightened me and you…"



"I frighten you?" Tara wasn't sure where Willow was going with her line of thought and tried not to show her own insecurities.



"No, no…a big, big resounding no. The dreams I was having were more like nightmares because it wasn't the feelings of love that scared me but the feelings of lost after. But see… when I'm with you or even because I know you're there, I feel so loved and safe and invincible. I know I will never lose your love. It is always with me, protecting me. Know that you have my heart and my soul."



Like the kiss they shared before their lovemaking, the kiss they shared now was also new to them. It was a kiss of promises to come; a vow to love, a pledge to revere and a guarantee to always be a part of each other's life.



-----------------------------------------------------------



"I don't remember it being this chilly this time of year out here." Angel didn't want to talk about the weather but seeing Buffy wrapped up in his old leather coat and sitting on the steps of the back porch brought back so many memories that he thought it best to start with an innocuous comment.



Buffy had known that Angel was hovering in the kitchen for the past fifteen minutes deciding on whether or not to interrupt her task of sitting and doing nothing. "I thought you weren't affected by the cold."



She never made it easy for him, not even when he needed her to. "You seem cold… I didn't even think you would keep that." He indicated to the jacket.



"Giles had packed up most of my clothes and placed them in the basement. A pipe burst and things got wet and this was in one of the boxes that didn't." She knew she was avoiding the question. It was funny that when Riley left, she threw everything that reminded her of him, out. Things like sweaters, picture, cards and trinkets. She had done the same with Angel but she couldn't toss the jacket. He had given it to her so long ago before she knew what he was or what he could become. Wearing it initially gave her hope that she could be like everyone else despite her destiny and fight. Keeping it symbolized that she had survived so much and was stronger for it. Now, she didn't know anymore. She guessed she was wearing it to try and feel some semblance of strength and purpose again. "So when are you leaving?" She wanted him to stay, but then she always wanted him to stay. When he had come back for Joyce's funeral, she had clung to him despite knowing that he would leave. She wanted to do the same now. She had come back from the dead. That didn't happen everyday and she felt so lost. She needed his love and presence but could not voice her need because she was strong and could survive anything.



"I…" She looked so small then, so fragile. Angel saw in her the same young girl he had first seen in LA. He had thought her fragile then but she proved him wrong. Maybe she wasn't as fragile as she looked now, either. He prayed she wasn't for if she spoke her need, he would give up his fight in LA in an instant to stay by her side. The Powers That Be, be damned.



"It's ok, Angel. You have to go back. And …and my place in here. I mean neither dimensional portals, Hellgods or death can keep me from my duty. I will always be the Slayer." It didn't come out as bitter as she meant it to be. It was her lot to be only strong enough to kill the Vampires and Demons but never strong enough to break from her destiny.



"You know I would…"



"Yes. So let's just sit here and you can tell me about your new offices and friends and adventures. We can pretend just for tonight. We can be old lovers who parted on good terms and we just met each other shopping." The one thing that Buffy realized she had got back was her ability to dream again. She may have lost her direction and impetus but at least she could still dream. Therefore what better way to spend the night than to be embraced in Angel's strong arms and be lulled by his voice and dream about a future that would never come to pass.



Angel slowly eased himself on the step above her and wrapped his arms around her lithe frame. They fit so well, his chin resting on her head and her entire body cocooned by his. He began to talk. "I met Gunn when he tried to dust me last year. He was the leader of his own gang and he thought I was evil…"



“Really?”



Things were so different and yet the fundamentals had not changed. Buffy was still the Slayer, she had died twice and returned. She would always have a duty to protect all. Angel was the Vampire with a soul who had to earn his redemption fighting Demons and evil lawyers in LA. They loved each other but could not be together, always.



----------------------------------------------------------------



"Hmm, little hats for mushrooms in the blue room." Willow was mumbling in her sleep and it was adorable.



Tara never slept for long periods and had spent the last hour, head resting on her palm as she studied the planes and curves of Willow's face. She was in the process of counting the freckles that dotted the bridge of her nose only to be distracted by Willow's weird but cute mumblings. It was better than thinking about her own issues. Last night had been amazing. The love they had pledged and shown each other gave Tara such hope for their future but Tara understood that they would not build a strong foundation on lies and half-truths. She had to tell Willow of her fears, of the fact the she may be hiding a Demon inside.



"You ok, Sweet-" Willow's question was cut off by a great big yawn. "Sorry…you seem kinda pensive-vy. Last night?"



"No, last night was amazing. I just…" Maybe she should just blurt it out to Willow now.



"Did you have a nightmare?" Willow asked, her voice betraying the trepidation she was feeling.



"No, no more nightmares or dreams. Sometimes I miss them…"



"You miss dreaming about the bad stuff?"



"Not exactly. Sometimes after the bad stuff, I also got to see people I think are my family. I always thought I'd see my mom. I mean everyone has a mom, right?" Tara's voice had taken on a child-like quality when she asked the question and it broke Willow's heart.



"Yes, Sweetie and I bet your mom is as beautiful as you."



"But that's just it. In all the dreams and nightmares, I don't think I ever saw her. I remember hugs and lullabies and that helped so much in Pylea. And I always thought that one day I'd start dreaming of her but In haven't. Now, I don't dream anymore and perhaps I never will remember. The guilt and anguish on Willow's face surprised Tara. "No, love…no. It's not your fault."



Willow looked at Tara's arm and saw the charm bracelet there. It would be so easy to remove it but that would still be not facing the issue. So she took a deep breath only to be interrupted by Tara's lips on hers.



"Don't feel bad for me. You've shown me that my dreams do come true." Tara had not wanted Willow to start her day feeling sad.



"No, Tara I need to tell you something…I…" Again Tara stopped Willow's words with a kiss.



"We promised to make breakfast for everyone so if it's going to eat into that time, you have to explain it to Dawn." Tara smiled at her love. Willow had summed it up nicely yesterday. With the love she felt, she was invincible and nothing could change that.



Perhaps now was not the time but Willow made up her mind that soon, she would come clean and explain to Tara about her lack of nightmares. "Ok, but I'm thinking we could save more time by showering together. At least eighteen minutes, and if it takes approximately forty-five seconds to pour out the batter and three minutes fifteen seconds to cook it to perfection, with a smiley face, we could make at least four and a half extra pancakes, by showering together."



"You've convinced me." Tara replied and held her hand out to help Willow out of bed.



-----------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

I love how despite our girls having worries and anxieties, each also has a devout belief in how strong the love they share is. A bond so deep that words were not necessary, they each knew that the other was ready to make love.



The scene with Buffy and Angel, and how they can't be together, was made all the more poignant by comparing it with the Willow and Tara relationship. Even though Willow and Tara are both hiding things from the other, there is still hope for their future, as they each want to tell the other.



Wonderful update!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

I've just read the first couple of parts of this, and I am so sorry that I didn't read this before. It's such an intriguing concept, and I'm really looking forward to catching up on the rest of it. Willow making bargains with Osiris makes a lot of sense, although it is worrisome, but I like where you start to go with it. More later as I catch up, but thanks for this.

That was a great update Jomarch It kind of worries me when they say that they have forfilled each others dreams as the dreams are them remembering Tara dying and I don't want them to bring that about. I hope they talk to each other soon and share their fears, I thought the part about Tara not dreaming about her mother was very touching as well.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

Oh amazing, they made love in a way that's just truly making love. Very well written. Very intimate. I think I had sort of assumed they already had. I was feeling angsty about Willow's secret but Tara has her own and it may balance itself out. I hope And .. Buffy and Angel. .. poor guys, I know they were young but I think they really did love each other and yes in contrast to w/t and how they are together it is very poignant.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

I haven't read the latest chapter update yet... but hey... smut!!!! I so totally love reading this fic. I found fic with Angel crossovers pretty cool, especially interactions between the original scoobs and Cordy. I read your fic standing in a semi-crowded train... so it was like... read one page... rest one page... read another page... avoid weirdos from touching me.



Great fic, jo! Now I shall quietly sit in my little corner... print out your new chapter and read glorious smut in front of my family innocently!



CheerZ

Shinnen

CheerZ

Shinnen

**************


When I Am Standing On My Head, The Sky Is So Deep And The Sea Is So High.
Inner Beauty Is The Easiest To See In The World When You Are Looking

For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.

*mollyig* - Yes, the initial scene went way outof control. I really wasn't intending to write about their first time and then it just seemed right to do it. I was hoping the juxtaposition between W&T and B&A was not too forced so thanks for pointing out its poignancy.



*Tulipp* - hi, its always nice to get new readers. I do hope the rest of it does live up to your initial opinion . I have been trying to mirror some Season 6 stuff but also do it differently.



*Puff* - Sorry for giving you something to worry about. This is just the start though, and yes, there will be incidents that will get both of them talking. Some which are not created by Willow or Tara and others that are initiated by them. Hope I have you intrigued.



*xita* - Thank you, I was worried that I would not be able to do the scene any justice. Initially, I did want to just let everyone assume that Willow and Tara had already been intimate but like I said, the scene sort of got aheah of me . When I was writing the BUffy and Angel part, it did strike me that they did and will always love each other and in contrast, so do Willow and Tara. It's just here, W&T have a better chance despite the problems ahead.



*Shinnen* - Hi. Nice to hear from you! Now I get reading at a font of 5.5...it's because you're on the train (don't strain your eyesight too much as I still am looking forward to your cool wallpapers). Anyway, thanks for your kind words and enjoy the smut.

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

Hey sweetie, do you ever check your inbox at home? I miss you!! And I need to talk to you.

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

Hope I have you intrigued.



Yes very much so, it really is a fascinating read lots of twists and turns. Great stuff

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

*Drakkenfyre* - hope you got my e-mail. Work has still not slwed down though so there may be a bit of wait until the next chapter .



*Puff* - Thanks so much. Hope you like the my take on 'Family'.



Spoiler Warning - It starts from Seeing Red and then completely veers off in all kinds of tangents. It covers both the Buffy and Angel universe for now.

Disclaimer - All characters, names and some dialogue etc belong to ME and Joss Whedon. However, due to improper usage and gross mishandling of characters and plot lines by aforementioned parties, it is with great pleasure that I (and all the other writers on the board) use them for the reading pleasure of kittens everywhere.

Rating - PG again

Feedback - Yes please. If you like the story or not or want to see something else happening. Feedback's nice and always appreciated

Notes - Well, on with the story and no more smut. This is my take on the 'Family'. Again, the story kinda took off into a direction I wasn't quite expecting but hopefully it's ok. Thanks for reading.



Title : I Dream of Thee



Chapter 6b





"Ohmygod!, ohmygod!, ohmygod! You made pancakes." Dawn's squeal of delight and dancing around the kitchen warmed Tara's heart and although she had wanted to stay in bed with Willow a bit longer, seeing Dawn so happy made up for it slightly.



"Yeah, Dawnie and Tara made funny shapes as well the smiley face ones." Willow was still daydreaming of their shower together when she heard Dawn's delighted shout. It was such a domestic scene with Tara stacking the huge number of pancakes they had made onto plates and Willow pouring out the juice and milk. Now all they needed was a horde of hungry Demon fighters, and right on cue, Angel, Wesley, Cordelia and Gunn entered the kitchen. Dawn had given off another squeal of delight and ran up the stairs to drag Buffy down for Willow and Tara's special pancakes.



"Man if we ate like this every morning, I wouldn't ever want to go back." Gunn was already helping himself to a whole stack of the pancakes and avoiding Wesley's reach at the same time.



"Quite right. These are incredibly delicious." Wesley had given up trying to get any off Gunn's plate and instead took Cordelia's stack as she went to get some orange juice.



"Hey! Watch it Mister! I have hurt people for less serious offences than stealing breakfast." Cordelia snatched her plate back and immediately started eating in order to discourage any further theft.



Angel loved the camaraderie of the situation, but he was slightly miffed as none of them ever praised his breakfast making skills this much. "Ahem…I have been known to make a mean scrambled eggs," he mumbled.



"Oh, Yeah, Angel….", "Good eggs", "Definitely, man" came the chorus of replies that really didn't convince Angel all that much but at least Willow was more understanding.



"You can't underestimate the power of Tara's hot…" Willow's eyes following Tara as she walked from the stove to the table, "…cakes," she finished and turned back to Angel and smiled roguishly, happy at her double entendre.



He smiled back. Willow's happiness was heartening to see and though his own heart ached at the fact that he and Buffy could not be, seeing another couple so in love just made his own sacrifices a little more bearable.



"I was told that there are pancakes for hungry slayers." Buffy announced as she walked into the kitchen, her arm around Dawn's thin shoulders. Previously, she had never made such overt gestures of sisterly affection. It wasn't that Buffy never considered Dawn her sister but more that she always knew in the back of her mind that Dawn had been a gift and one that could easily be taken away. So she had tried not to get to close, but she had anyway and when Dawn's life had been threatened, Buffy willingly sacrificed her own so that Dawn and all her loved ones could live. Now that she was back, she wanted to make it up to Dawn, to show that she was sorry for her initial behavior as well as be the sister and mother that Dawn needed.



"Buffy!" Willow couldn't help but smile at the sight of her best friend, alive and whole. "Yes, many pancakes for everyone. We're like the International House of pancakes for Demon Fighters…I'm still working on the name."



Buffy grinned at Willow as she too joined in the fray to snatch as many of the newly made pancakes as possible before Gunn ate them all.



Dawn wanted the peace and happiness to last for as long as possible. Despite not being around for more than three years, she always remembered scenes like this. But the monks had been accurate in the planting of memories and she also remembered that the scenes were always followed by badness. It would always start out the same way, everyone would be gathered for breakfast, joking and laughing only to have the mood change because of something or another. In LA, it was a phonecall from the principal of Hemery saying that Buffy was expelled. Later the calls were from their father saying he would not be coming home that morning or ever again. In Sunnydale, breakfast was normally interrupted by the necessity to tend to Buffy's wounds after she came back from a night of Demon fighting or just waiting around for her to come back at all. Last year alone, they had more or less decided not to have breakfast anymore, after their mom collapsed when making eggs for them. However things seemed different now and Dawn wanted it to stay that way. She was sure that the news she was going to share would ensure this and decided that she wouldn't keep it a secret for much longer.



"Hey, guys…" Dawn saw everyone look at her expectantly and so she continued, knowing in her heart that it would be such a good surprise. "Well, I, er…see, I know we all can't stay together like this and even though I really want it to be this way, it can't." She saw Angel's stricken look and quickly added "But LA is not that far and there's e-mail and the phone and Buffy said I could learn to drive."



"I so did not." Buffy shook her head, "As in no way and over my dead body and by that, I mean no way."



"Ooookay, we'll talk about it later. Anyway, I don't think you guys should go back to LA yet as I gotintouchwithTara'sfamilyandthey'recomingheretoseeher." Dawn finished in a rush as she pulled out a letter from her back pocket and waved it in the air.



"What?" Tara nearly dropped the spatula and pan she was holding. She hoped that she had heard wrong but despite the speed in which Dawn had delivered the news, she fully understood the implications. Somehow, Dawn had remembered her talking about her family and had got in touch with them. Apparently, they had replied and were now coming to Sunnydale to confirm her worst fears.



"Tara's family? Coming here?… How did you…" Willow was taken aback. She didn't even know that Tara still remembered anything and wondered how Dawn had found them. It was good news though, she hoped. If Tara were more comfortable about her past, she would then concentrate more on their future together.



"Well, in the Magic Box before you guys came in to discuss Buffy's…Before that, Tara mentioned her family name and that she remembered that she lived in Benson, Arizona. So I went online and did a search and then used one of Willow's programs to hack into their city hall records and found out the address of the Maclays. It's a small town and there was only one listing. I called and spoke to your dad. He didn't believe me at first and hung up but then I got this letter a few days ago and well, they're coming and by the looks of it are going to arrive soon." Dawn looked around, pleased to see that though everyone looked surprised, there were tentative smiles around.



"That was rather resourceful of you and we would definitely stay a bit longer and meet Tara's family." Wesley replied. Cordelia and Gunn were nodding their assent.



Tara felt as if she couldn't breathe. Her vision was starting to blur and she knew that if she didn't take a breath soon, she was going to faint. This was all happening too soon. She loathed to ruin Dawn's happiness so she took a shallow breath and smiled weakly. She was frightened that Willow would pick up on her fears as well so she decided that perhaps it would be best if she didn't go near Willow for the rest of the day. "Um, I…I g-g-guess I should go and get ready or, or something..." With that, she put down the pan and swiftly walked out of the kitchen, leaving a very confused Willow and Dawn in her wake.



Buffy looked at Angel then. Out of all the people there, she knew that he would have picked up on the weirdness that had just happened. Dawn's announcement had elicited a joyous response from everyone there except for Tara. Her hasty exit and pale features were not a good sign and but since Buffy still did not know Tara all that well, she just kept quiet and hoped that Angel would say something. She had been rather surprised to see the rooming arrangements and the affection that both Willow and Tara had for each other. She had only been dead six weeks or thereabouts and suddenly, Willow had a new girlfriend whom she knew nothing about. It was obvious that Tara was well liked by everyone, especially Dawn. Buffy wasn't jealous of that but she was just wary of newcomers. She knew that she would always be able to rely on the original Scooby core but the people that came after tended to leave. Angel, Cordelia, Oz, they all left eventually and for Willow's sake, Buffy hoped that Tara would not follow that path, which was why the blonde's reaction was slightly disturbing.



Willow was sure something just happened but for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what. She was beginning to appreciate how Xander felt at most Scooby meetings. The one thing that struck her was Tara's hasty exit. She could understand how news of seeing one's family after five years of being stuck in a Demon Dimension could be unsettling but she was also sure that this was what Tara had wanted. Their talk this morning about wondering what Tara's mother looked like and seeing her family led Willow to believe that Tara needed to confront her past. "I…I should go and see if she needs me."



"Wait." Angel suddenly remembered where he had seen the look on Tara's face before. It was when Lorne's clan brought her out to be beheaded. That was the look she wore then. It was as if she resigned herself to dying and had given up. "There's still some more batter left. You might as well finish it and make some more for Dawn. I'll go see if Tara needs any help." He pleaded with Willow internally to just let it go and was glad to see her relent and nod her head.



-----------------------------------------------------



Angel couldn't hear any noise emanating from Willow and Tara's room but he knew that Tara was inside so he knocked softly and let himself in. Immediately, he noticed some of the clothes that Cordelia had given Tara and the ones that Willow had bought for her, strewn on the bed. Tara looked at him when he walked in and he could tell that she was trying so hard to not let her fear and anxiety show. He wanted to help but first he needed to know what was wrong. By all measures, having your family drop by for a visit wasn't exactly the end of the world.



"Going somewhere?" Angel decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to get the story out of Tara. So he sat at the edge of the bed, putting himself between Tara and the door and waited for her answer.



Tara wasn't sure why she was reacting this way. She knew that she would eventually have to face her family and her past but she had wanted to do it on her terms and only after discussing it with Willow. Now, things were changing too fast and all she could think about was that she didn't want to know about her past just yet. Maybe it was better not to know and just talk to Willow about it and deal with it then. "I…I just want to know…"



Angel didn't say anything, he could see Tara trying to gather her thought and decided to wait for her.



"Is reality so much better than perception? I mean, if you think that you're good then can't you be…even if deep down you're not? I think I'm good…"



"Tara, I don't understand but I can sense you're frightened of something. All I can say is that you have nothing to fear. As long as I'm here or Buffy or Willow… we'll always be here for you." He reached out to touch her shoulder.



Tara wanted to shy away from Angel's touch. She didn't deserve to be comforted, not if she was hiding such a huge secret, and one that could ultimately hurt Willow and the rest. But a part of her was still hopeful. "It's just…When I first got to Pylea, I wanted to get back so badly, but I couldn't. Then things got so bad and all I wanted to do was to forget about my life on earth so that I wouldn't have a basis of comparison. If I didn't remember my life on earth, the collar and the beatings would seem less bad." Tara finished softly, tears forming in her eyes.



"You will never have to face that or go back." Angel was at a loss. Tara seemed so lost and wanted affirmation of some kind but it was obvious that his words were not helping. "Tara, don't you want to see your family?"



He could the uncertainty in her eyes and wondered what had placed it there. He needed to know what she was afraid of so that he and the rest could help.



"I just want to be good…"Tara replied, her voice breaking at the end as she lowered her face, unwilling to look at Angel anymore.



"But you are!" Angel unwavering in his reply. It was the truth and Tara had to see that.



"I didn't want to remember being on Earth when I was in Pylea but I would still dream… I couldn't control my dreams and in them, things were so good. I dreamt of being happy and loved and it was like a fairytale. Then I was rescued and…"



"I wasn't exactly Prince Charming was I ?…Trying to attack you and my friends." Angel's own guilt kicked in then and it made Tara sad. These people that she had met and come to love over the past months were so good and noble. Yet all of them carried such guilt and responsibility and it was unfair. They deserved better and she hoped, she did too.



"No, Angel, it wasn't you. I just dreamt about being rescued so many times and when it happened, that seemed like a dream too. Then coming back here, I started dreaming about people I think were my family. Only the dreams were more like nightmares because I…I don't think I'm good. In them, I seem to be…What if…what if because of all the bad things in Pylea, I just made up my dreams there to take me away from it all, but in reality, deep down, I'm really evil and so is my family." She had said it. Tara finally gave voice to her greatest fear and waited for Angel's look of horror and disgust but there was none. Instead, he stood up, walked over to her and embraced her, tucking her head beneath his chin and pulling her in tight.



Tara had not expected that and she didn't expect to hear Angel's ensuing words either.



"You're not evil. I know what evil is. I live with it inside of me everyday and it does not recognize what's in you. You're not evil. Even if you don't believe it, I do." Angel could feel Tara begin to relax in his arms and sighed in relief. He didn't need proof for his words for he believed them fully. The brave young woman in his arms could never be evil, he would bet his soul on it. He could see so clearly now, how Willow had fallen so hard for Tara. She exuded such grace and beauty that one had to be blind not to see it.



------------------------------------------------------------------



"Do you think they're ok up there?" Willow had been hovering at the base of the stairs for the past hour wondering if she should go up or not. It was not easy for her to know that something wasn't right and yet not be able to fix it immediately. It was just that it was how she viewed life and problems. If something was wrong and it was in her power to fix it, she would do it. Most of the time, it worked in her favor but sometimes, Willow never thought about the consequences and repercussions. Like in bringing Buffy back, the joy permeating the house and worn on the face of everyone there was immeasurable and she knew deep down that it was worth any price. However, the full extent of the price was yet to be revealed and Willow hoped that like this minor problem with Tara, it too would be solved in the end, with minimal casualties.



"Hey Will, I really don't know Tara that well on account of me being dead and all, but I know Angel and they'll be fine." Buffy could see that Willow was quite distressed and she wanted to offer comfort. It was always easier for her to sublimate her own problems and deal with the larger issues. Right now, it was obvious that Tara's family coming for a visit was not happy news for the blonde. Buffy just wished that Dawn didn't feel so bad about it. Her sister had been sitting on the sofa with a sad expression, looking at Willow pacing up and down. Buffy knew that Willow didn't intentionally want to make Dawn feel bad but her obliviousness to Dawn's distress was also not good. "Maybe you should talk to Dawn?" Buffy tentatively asked softly.



Willow looked up, startled at the question. Suddenly, she realized the implications and immediately looked towards the young girl. Dawn was dejectedly looking out the window and picking at the frayed threads on the cuff of her jeans. Willow immediately berated herself internally. In all her worry about Tara, she had ignored Dawn and probably led the teen to believe that Willow held her responsible for the current situation. If she couldn't help Tara right now, she should at least be able to help Dawn. "Hey Dawnie, that was a good idea finding Tara's family. It really was. You did nothing wrong."



"Then why is she upstairs crying or worse?" Dawn was glad that Willow was still talking to her. She had been so frightened that she had truly screwed up and that both Willow and Tara were angry.



"I guess, it was just a surprise, is all. I mean she never talks about Pylea but it was really bad for her there."



"Way, way bad, I mean it was so bad, there isn't a scale for it." Cordelia added.



"Yeah, and I guess, she's just worried about how her family will react to that and to her. I think she just needs time." Willow sat next to Dawn and patted her on her knee. She sounded so sure but internally, she was just hoping that would be the case.



"Well, I'm really not sure about how much time Tara needs but it can't be too long on account of a trailer just pulled up into the driveway and if my eyesight doesn't betray me, it has Arizona plates, I believe." Wesley looked pointedly at Gunn. He didn't feel too comfortable with the situation and knew that for the time being, it was better to be on alert.



All of them heard the doorbell chime and were reluctant to answer it. In the end, Buffy decided that they had to face the situation sooner or later and swung open the door. "Hi, I'm Buffy. Come in." She stepped aside allowing the three strangers entry. At least it was daylight and therefore she didn't have to worry that they were Vampires. "So you must be the er…, the um, the MacDonalds?"



"Maclays, You're the Maclays… You're Tara's family." Willow offered, hoping Buffy's mispronunciation went unnoticed.



Yes we are. Is she here? We were told Tara would be here." The man who answered looked like Tara's dad. His craggy features were pinched but Willow could see some similarity with her love, especially in his blue eyes. The other two people there also looked like they were related to Tara. However, they did not look too friendly. The young woman wasn't really making eye contact but the young man was looking around defiantly. Willow didn't like the fact that his hands were in fists at his side and he had not even nodded his acknowledgement at their greeting.



"We'd like to see Tara now." The man stated again.



"We're friends of Tara's." Like Wesley, Gunn was feeling ill at ease and the feeling was compounded by the actual presence of Tara's so called family. "She should be down soon. In the meantime, why don't you take the load off and sit." It wasn't so much as an invitation then a command couched in civil tones but Gunn knew that he had put his point across. He didn't like the look that passed between the older man and his younger charge.



"I'll just go get some refreshments." Buffy called over her shoulder as she hurriedly went to the kitchen.



"I'll help." Cordelia echoed. She could tell that Buffy had sensed something and was anxious to know what.





Buffy had stopped just within the kitchen and immediately turned around to face Cordelia. "They're evil." She stated matter of factly.



"What? Really? They look kinda normal." Cordelia turned around and cautiously peeked out. She could see that the three new arrivals were now seated uncomfortably on the sofa. Willow and Dawn were trying to engage them in conversation but as far as Cordelia could tell, they were not responding too well.



"Well, I guess they could be evil. Are you sure it's not the after-effects of the spell. I mean you don't think we're still evil, do you?" Cordelia felt the hairs at the back of her neck prickle at the thought that Buffy could still be under the delusion that they were all still evil and just biding her time before she attacked.



"No…not really evil. I still think you're probably mean though. Listen, Cordy, I just have this feeling, you know." Buffy didn't know how else to phrase it. As a Slayer, she could always tell the good guys from the bad and all she knew was that Tara's family did not seem all that good.





"So, how long have you known Tara?" Willow wanted to hit the side of her head for asking such a stupid question. "I mean… was here, how long did you know Tara was here?"



"We received the call four days ago and drove here almost immediately. We want to see her." He was getting agitated and in turn, so was the younger man.



"She will be down shortly. I'm Wesley by the way. That's Charles Gunn, Willow and Dawn. Dawn is the young lady who called you. Buffy is her sister who opened the door and the other young woman in the kitchen helping her is Cordelia."



"I'm Tara's father and this is her brother Donny and her cousin, Beth. Now that we're all familiar like, why don't one of you run upstairs and get Tara for us."



Willow was torn between wanting to ask where Tara's mom was and taking the opportunity to go upstairs and see how Tara was doing. She barely noticed Donny getting up and only caught on to his arm when he carelessly brushed passed her to head to the stairs. "Hey, you can't just go up there."



"Better let go little girl or-"



"I don't think you really want to finish that sentence." Buffy's menacing voice could be heard from the kitchen as she slowly sauntered out, her hands on her hips.



Donny snatched his hand from Willow's grip and again tried to move pass her only to land flat on his back. He never saw what hit him but he knew the redhead had something to do with it as he looked up at her smirk.



Willow knew that she shouldn't have used magic, especially in front of strangers but she couldn't allow Donny to get pass. He seemed dangerous and she didn't want him anywhere near Tara. He was scrambling to his feet and she was going to warn him again but was distracted by the soft footfalls of Tara. She could sense her lover coming down the stairs and wished that Tara didn't have to witness her bullying her brother, no matter how much he deserved it.



"Tara?" Her father called out as he got up from the sofa and immediately went to the base of the staircase.



As soon as Tara had heard her name called out, she froze and Angel who had been walking behind her, bumped into her but steadied both of them when he grabbed hold of the banister. It was an impasse of sorts. Tara was frozen there, not wanting to go downstairs but she couldn't go back up either as Angel was behind her.



Willow could see the uncertainty and fear coloring Tara's features so she took matters into her own hands. She slowly ascended the stairs and when she reached the step Tara was on, she reached for the blonde's hand, and whispered the same word Tara had whispered to her when she needed it. "Courage."



Tara let out the breath she was holding and grabbed on tightly to Willow's hand as they both descended down the stairs and came face to face with her father. She recognized him from her hazy dreams and wanted to hug him but the way he held himself stopped her so she settled for acknowledging him instead. "Daddy?"



His nod at her question eased her mind slightly but he still looked so stern. "Tara, we should leave for home soon. We're glad that you're back but there are responsibilities to get back to. You should say your goodbyes…"



"I…I don't remember much…"Tara was surprised at the swiftness of everything. She had still not been introduced to the other two people there whom she recognized but could not place.



"Maybe…maybe we should talk first. Perhaps a walk?" Her father's features softened slightly but he still held himself so stiffly that Tara had to quash her desire to hug him.



Willow was following the conversation up to that point and was feeling more unsettled by the moment. All she could focus on was that Tara's father wanted to take her back and that he wanted to leave as soon as possible. He might even leave right after their talk and to Willow that was unacceptable. It was downright not going to happen. Tara belonged by her side, in Sunnydale. They had just found each other and to Willow what had transpired the night before was not an everyday occurrence. She had pledged her heart and made a commitment and thought that Tara had as well. She could see the doubt on Tara's face when her father suggested going for a walk and decided that she would go with, just to make sure nothing occurred. "I'll go with you." Willow stated as she stepped forward and took Tara's hand in hers, giving it an encouraging squeeze.



Tara felt so relieved to have Willow by her side but was taken aback by the scowl on the face of the young man who went to stand beside her father. "Hey sis, remember me? C'mon, no hug for you big brother, Donny? Or are you into other things now?" he indicated with disgust at their entwined hands.



"T-T-This is Willow, she's my…friend." Tara didn't know what else to say. It wasn't that she was embarrassed, but her brother and father did not seemed receptive to very many things and she didn't want them to reject Willow.



Willow knew that she shouldn't feel slighted at Tara's introduction. She could see the looks of incomprehension on Tara's father's face and the look of disgust on Donny's. So, she decided that it was best not to push the issue either. "Yes, we're good friends."



Donny knew what kind of friends they were and decided that enough was enough. They had driven across the state and all he wanted was to go back home with his sister in tow. She belonged to them and these new friends of hers had to understand that. So he grabbed hold of the redhead's arm, "I don't think my dad invited you." He added menacingly.



Willow could practically see the anger coming off Donny in waves and quelled her desire to use magic to teach him a lesson. She could feel his fingers tightening around her bony wrist but refused to give him the satisfaction of confirming that she was in pain. Luckily, Buffy could recognize the signs and swiftly grabbed Donny's other hand, twisted it expertly behind his back and stepped in close to whisper in his ear. "Let her go or you'll be walking out of here with one arm."



It was a stand-off of sorts but Donny refused to back down and wrenched at Willow's arm harder causing her to cry out. Buffy didn't like the fact that despite the position Donny was in, he had not heeded her advice and was about to take him down.



Cordelia knew that the scene was about to descend into chaos and if that happened, it would be even more difficult to sort through the mess and help Tara who was looking quite stricken. After Donny had grabbed hold of Willow, Tara had tried to intervene as well but her father's stern look and Buffy's timely presence prevented her from doing anything else except hold onto Willow's other hand. Cordelia decided that it was time she stepped in. "Arggggh…Oh God!" she screamed, grabbing her head in agony.



On cue, Angel, Wesley and Gunn rushed over to support Cordelia. Buffy and Donny were also distracted and Willow managed to pull her arm free as Tara placed herself between Donny and Willow. She looked at Buffy and calmly stated, "It's ok Buffy, you can let him go now. I…I don't think my b-b-brother is going to touch Willow anymore." She stared into his eyes then and made sure he understood her words. She could see anger and hatred there and despite not knowing the situation all that well, she knew that she was the cause for it and that it had been simmering there for a long, long time. Buffy was still unsure but Tara looked like she had a handle on the situation and so she let go.



"What the hell?" Tara's father was taken aback. The young woman seemed to be having a fit of some kind and his son was being manhandled by a little girl. "Listen, little girl, we just want to see Tara. We're her family and that gives us a right. Tara, why don't we take that walk right now. Alone." He directed the last word at Willow and moved to the door. Tara felt compelled to follow as she knew that her father would at least have some answers to the questions that were preying on her mind. Answers that she knew Willow deserved to know about. So, she ignored Donny as she turned and gave Willow a kiss. She didn't have any words then and hoped that the kiss was enough to convey her love and ask for Willow's understanding in the matter. She could see that Willow had closed her eyes as she leaned in. It gave her comfort that Willow still felt so safe with her despite seeing what her family was like. She could feel Willow sigh against her lips when she broke contact and she hoped that it would not be for long as she turned to follow her father.



Cordelia had stopped her act when she saw that Buffy had calmed down and Willow was no longer in the grip of Donny. As Wesley helped her up, she couldn't help whispering softly. "See, if you ever call me a third rate actress again." She could see Wesley smile back.



"Never third rate, Cordy and you are quite the Drama Queen." Wesley was thankful for Cordelia's quick thinking in averting a big blow up and it was Angel who had called her a third rate actress and only when he had reverted to Angelus that one time. Anyway, he was just glad that Cordy actually could act.



Dawn realized that the situation wasn't good. Tara's family didn't seem at all kind and good like Tara was. In fact, they gave her the creeps. She knew that she was fully responsible for what had happened and decided that perhaps she needed to do more. "I think I'm gonna go up to my room." With that, Dawn left her sister and the rest downstairs, looking warily at each other. She really didn't want to eavesdrop on any private conversation between Tara and her dad but she had to ensure that Tara would be safe. So she went to her room, opened the window and started climbing down. She was thankful that Buffy had never gotten round to cutting down the trellis. She wanted to, but then their mother died and Glory stepped up her attacks and there was never enough time. She could see Tara and her dad walking side by side up ahead and slowly began to shadow them.





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"Where have you been? Five years Tara, and not a word. Even now, it wasn't you who called."



The accusation in her father's voice cut at her. But how could she explain Pylea or how the experiences there branded her for life. She had been so lost and all the hurt and pain that occurred just perpetuated the feelings of isolation. "I’m s-s-sorry…I was so lost, daddy." Her small voice achingly fragile.



"But where were you?"



"Somewhere far away. I w-w-wanted to come back but I c-c-couldn't. Not until recently. The people back at the house, they saved me." She hoped that he would accept her explanation. She couldn't describe in detailed what happened in Pylea. That was relegated to the nightmares she had but thankfully those had stopped as well.



"Tara, five years and not a word."



"I wanted to so b-b-badly. Please believe me. I used to dream about you and Donny and …?" tara tried to recall the name of the young woman and her father could see the frustration on her face.



"Cousin Beth." He supplied. "Your cousin Beth has been living with us almost all your life."



"What about…I never dreamt of momma." Tara stopped walking and turned to face her father. She needed to know. She didn't want confirmation of what she thought for it would break her heart but she needed to know. As soon as she asked, she could see the emotions playing across her father's cragy features and knew before he said anything. "She's d-d-dead isn't she? I never dreamt of her because she's dead and I...I…" Tara wanted to say it, but then it would mean that she would have to face leaving Willow. She had survived so much and come so far but her current admission would take all of her courage. "I killed her, didn't I? I'm a, I’m a D-Demon and I killed her and t-t-that's why you never came looking for me." She didn't look up at him when she said it. It would be too painful to see the confirmation in his blue eyes. His pained silence was enough to confirm everything and Tara felt her heart break, shatter into a million pieces. She would never be able to be with Willow. She had killed her own mother and deserved to be in Pylea. With that last thought in her head and the feeling of loss in her heart, she turned and ran, leaving her father standing there, hands in his pockets and a look of regret on his face.





"What did you do?" Dawn's strident voice broke through to him as she ran up. She had not managed to hear all of the conversation between Tara and her father but the little she heard about Demons and death and the look on Tara's face when she had run off frightened Dawn. "What did you say to her?" Dawn demanded again.



"You don't know what you're dealing with, little girl." He knew that he should have said something, should have clarified and explained so that she would go home with them. But perhaps it was best this way. She would have to return now.



"I may be young, but you're the stupid one." Dawn stood in from of Tara's father daring him to contradict her. How could he be so blind she thought. "She has such a beautiful soul and I know you can see it too. So why are you making her believe she's bad?" Dawn wanted to grab his shirt and make him answer. She could see Willow and Buffy running up the path and decided that strength in numbers would be good right about now.



Willow hadn't sat still since Tara had left with her father and her unease increased with time. It was only when Buffy placed a hand on her shoulder did she realize that she had almost been out the front door. Beth and Donny had gone back to their trailer, which was still parked on the lawn.



"If we leave via the back entrance, they won't be able to see us."



Willow nodded in relief. She didn't want to fight Buffy and thought that her best friend was going to stop her. They had made good time but were still surprised to see Dawn with Mr Maclay but Tara was no where in sight. Willow sprinted forward and even though she was nearly out of breath, she managed to get her question out.



"Where's…where's Tara?" She could see tears in Dawn's eyes and it wasn't a good sign. "If you've hurt her…" Willow grabbed hold of his shirt and lifted him up, "Where is she?" In most cases, threats from Willow never really carried much weight. She was too small and cute to lead anyone to believe she could actually do them harm. However, in this case, her black irises and low voice would have struck fear in the hearts of most demons.



Buffy skidded to a halt beside them, and nearly gasped at the change in her best friend. She could see the magic tendrils emanating from Willow but it was unlike the magic that her friend had practiced before. The magic she wielded now was more ominous and darker. "Will, he's not going to answer, if you choke him." She slowly touched Willow's arm and was glad to see her best friend let go and lower Mr Maclay to the ground.



"She ran away." Dawn told Willow. She wanted to hug her but she was afraid. Willow's transformation had scared her but she could see Willow's green eyes again so she told her about Tara instead. "He didn't stop her."



"Now hold on a minute, I love my daughter but you know nothing about our situation or what's going on." He knew that he should have probably held his tongue. These people, were dangerous. The redheaded one was probably a witch and a strong one at that. He could recognize the signs, had seen it on his wife and daughter but the one here was dealing with dark magic. The other slight woman had nearly torn off the arm of his son so she was a worry as well. "It's complicated." He sighed.



"Well, you're talking to experts on complicated matters. I mean if there were prizes, we'd win." Buffy couldn't understand anything being more complicated than her life.



"Alright, I'll explain. But first, where are Donny and Beth? Are they still at your house?" He was afraid that Donny may have decided to take matters into his own hands and that would not be wise considering the formidability of the people standing before him. He was glad to see the blonde girl nod at his question. "Maybe you should try and find Tara and meet me back at your house. I'll explain it all then. To Tara and everyone."



It wasn't a bad suggestion. Willow wanted to find Tara anyway, to verify that she was ok and that her father had not hurt her in anyway. "Fine, I'll walk around and see if I can find her. Buffy why don't you take Dawn home." It wasn't that she didn't want company but it was more that she didn't trust Tara's dad and wanted Buffy to ensure that he would go back to the house and wait. Luckily, the slayer had a similar inkling and jumped in before Dawn could protest. "Good idea, Will. Dawn, do this and we won't have to decide between grounding for a week or a month, for sneaking out without permission." Dawn decided that it would be better not to argue and started trudging back to the house with Buffy and Mr. Maclay following behind.



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You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

Yikes. Dawn's meddling, albeit well-meaning, not good.



She was beginning to appreciate how Xander felt at most Scooby meetings. This resulted in me doing what my friends call my evil snigger.



Interested to hear what Tara's Dad is going to say. He is cold, but doesn't seem to have the same malice to him that Donny has. Or is he just hiding it better?



Great update!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

Oh poor Dawn must feel terrible about contacting Tara's family so far. I liked the reasurrances from Angel that Tara was not evil and I'm looking ofrward to the next part. It's a nice twist from what Family was

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You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

sorry i haven't commented in a while, been sick and in the hospital. i loved the last couple of parts the nerds were really sneaky putting that spell on Buffy and then robbing the Magic Shop, good thing Tara was able to recognize that a spell was on Buffy. the talk between Angel and Tara was cool. liked Angel reassureing Tara that she is not evil. poor Dawn, doing a good deed like contacting Tara's family but having it blow up in her face like that. can't wait for Tara's dad's explination.

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!

Fucking Windows 98, get Bill Gates in here!

2nd place??? That's just a fancy term for loser!

hmmm, I wonder how truthful Tara's dad is going to be. Can't believe he just let her run off thinking she killed her mother.

Because he's with Willow. And if something ... happened, I'd know...
Insist upon yourself and never imitate. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Catching up again with this. I love how you're weaving in elements of the show with this wonderful story. Funny how nobody really likes Tara's family, heh. You've done a marvelous job of describing them here, and added a suitable tone of threatening behavior from the odious Donny.



Willow and Tara's lovemaking was wonderful; just the right amount of anxiety and nerves and true love to make it sit so perfectly on top of their relationship. I loved the bit where Willow ever so slightly hesitated about saying "I love you". Sometimes those are the three hardest words in the world to say, no matter how much you might want to.



Thanks for this.

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"The only thing going for me -
were those moments - just
moments - when Tara would look at
me and I was wonderful."

Oh why does Tara believe them when they are so obviously evil! Grrrrrr..... oh angst ... great update. I loved that parting kiss and yes that's the trust that was felt there.. and you know I hate it when Tara punishes herself. I await the next update

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Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George