The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7b
PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2002 5:37 am 
Was happy :bounce to see another update!



Interesting switch with Buffy and Spike.



Agree that Willow needs to re-learn the magic, so she will respect it.



BV

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin



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 Post subject: Re: Fic - I Dream of Thee
PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2002 6:08 am 
Buffy and Spike's conversation was much needed. He cares for her, but is also willing to be objective.



Tara's anger towards Buffy was totally understandable, but its a measure of Tara's caring nature that it was so short-lived.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls



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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7c
PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2002 9:30 am 
great update :) really liked the talk that Buffy/Spike had and the one that Tara/Buffy had.

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!

2nd place??? That's just a fancy term for loser!



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 Post subject: Hi
PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2002 8:16 am 
vix84 - It just seemed right to have Tara be protective of Willow in that way. And I do agree that it would have been great if ME had given Tara more of a bigger role in the lives of the other scoobies instead of just hinting at it. You're Welcome :)



Grimlock72 - Glad you liked the update and I hope you like the new one. As for Spike and Buffy, I am not sure where its going either...Its so much easier writing a couple that makes sense like Willow and Tara.



barnasbasvamp - Glad you're happy :) . Yes, Willow is slowly learning her way and the long awaited confession to Tara is next...



mollyig - Yeah, I don't think Tara can stay mad for long but she will definitely get pissed off if somebody messes with Willow :)



Grimaldi - Thank you. The Buffy/Spike conversation was slightly more difficult to write but it was great writing angry Tara...



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You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion



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 Post subject: I Dream of Thee Ch 8a
PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2002 8:20 am 
Spoiler Warning - It starts from Seeing Red and then completely veers off in all kinds of tangents.

Disclaimer - All characters, names and some dialogue etc belong to ME and Joss Whedon. However, due to improper usage and gross mishandling of characters and plot lines by aforementioned parties, it is with great pleasure that I (and all the other writers on the board) use them for the reading pleasure of kittens everywhere.

Rating - PG again

Feedback – Yes, please….

Notes - A new chapter and another story arc. I knew who I wanted to bring back and what exactly I wanted to happen but I wasn't sure which part of canon to use and change for my story. Anyway, hope it worked out and Willow comes clean…

Title : I Dream of Thee



Chapter 8a



"Angel Investigations…We help the Hopeless…And even more so if you tell me you have good credit." Cordelia had just been going over the bills that had piled up since they had returned from Sunnydale. By her calculations, the four of them would probably do better to just move into the hotel since getting paid was not really in the cards any time soon. She didn't need to be a seer to know that. She would probably have to skimp on food and other essentials if she was going to make the rent this month.



"Cordelia? Hi…It's Willow." Willow knew that she could have gotten what she needed from Giles but she didn't want to go into details of why she actually needed a good meditation technique to relive some past dreams of hers. However, Wesley wouldn't need any explanation, he knew about her nightmares and their connection to Tara and he would probably be glad that she wanted to find out more about it before confessing to Tara about the spell. Now all she had to do was actually get on with asking Wesley for help. She wasn't really looking forward to reliving any part of the dream but if she wanted to come clean to Tara she needed to know what had frightened her so completely and how it was related to her lover, if at all. She hoped that if she could somehow learn more from her memories, she would see that the emotions she had experienced were not linked to Tara and that the nightmares were not precognitive for her.



"Willow, it's great to hear your voice. So how are you and Tara and everyone in Sunnydale? " Cordelia was surprised to get Willow's call especially since she was expecting it on the weekend. It had been arranged that Willow, Tara, Dawn and Buffy would call on Sunday and Cordelia was to make sure that Angel, Wesley and Gunn were all there so that everyone could catch up. She didn't want to think of the worst but Willow and the rest were living on the Hellmouth and she couldn't take anything for granted. "Everyone is fine right?"



The slight edge in Cordelia's voice, pulled Willow out of her undecided state. "No…I mean yes, everyone is fine, I just…I just needed Wesley's advice on something. Can I talk to him?"



Cordelia was sure now that something was amiss. Despite having both Giles and Tara in Sunnydale, Willow was calling Wesley. It wasn't that she didn't trust Willow but she wanted to help if something was truly wrong. Cordelia missed not having Tara, Willow or even Anya to talk to. "Will, of course you can talk to Wesley. He'll be thrilled to hear from you…Just know that I'm here too."



Willow could sense Cordelia's apprehension in her voice and she didn't want to add to it by telling her of her fight with Buffy and the magic spell that went awry. However, Cordelia deserved to know part of the reason she was calling, so she took a deep breath and tried to explain. "Everyone's fine but there were some getting use to issues, I guess…Nothing big" Willow knew that the platitudes she was spouting would not really satisfy Cordelia so she went on with the reason of her call. "Remember the nightmares I had when you were here? The feelings of loss and how I thought they were linked to Tara's own nightmares in some way?"



Cordelia remembered the talk by Buffy's grave. In fact, she remembered everything about it, the way she felt, how Willow looked and the heavy despair rolling off the red-head. It was not a good memory but one that she wouldn't let herself forget because it had allowed her to help Willow in some small way. "Yeah, I do"



"Well, I was kinda right and when Tara's nightmares stopped, so did my own. I don't know how or why but I think that…well, I think that I need to know what exactly I was experiencing then and what their connection is to Tara. I was too afraid then…Buffy was dead and I didn't want to admit how I felt about Tara. Except now, I think it's important to know why. Wesley said it was and I…I didn't want to believe him." Willow's own old fears surfaced but she knew that they paled in comparison to the feelings that the dreams invoked in her. She didn't want to experience them but she had to for Tara's sake. She had made the decision to block out both their dreams and she needed to know if it was the right one. She also wanted to show Tara why she had done so. It wasn't that she thought it would have been easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission. She hoped Tara would see that and she prayed she would be strong enough to relive the nightmare again.



Cordelia knew about Willow's theory about the dreams but she had not known that both Willow and Tara had stopped them as well. She always knew that whatever bond they shared, it was inexplicable but so natural that one couldn't question its validity. Cordelia also recalled Willow's demeanor and how frightened she had been of the nightmares. If they were linked to Tara, Cordelia hoped that it wasn't indicative of anything bad. "He'll be back in a minute or so, he just went upstairs to get a book from Angel. Willow, are you sure you can handle the nightmares again?"



It was a question that Willow had been asking herself ever since she made up her mind to tell Tara about the spell. She wasn't sure what the answer was, it was probably no, she wasn't ready and would never be ready to deal with such strong visceral emotions that were stirred up within her by the nightmares but everything had a reason. Tara's own nightmares were about Pylea and her fear about being a demon or having a demon inside of her. Tara had told her of them, in halting words as they laid together in the dark. Willow never said anything during those nights, choosing instead to hold Tara and imbue her with the love and tenderness she had always felt for the blonde. Willow knew that her dreams were not about Buffy as she had first thought. So the only other explanation would be the dreams were actually linked to Tara as well. Only she could invoke such feelings of bliss and passion in Willow and Willow knew losing Tara would devastate her beyond all description, beyond all measure. "Honestly, Cordy? I don't think I would ever want to face them again but I have to. I need to."



Wesley had come back down the stairs and Cordelia waved him over mouthing 'Willow' and pointing to the handset. He smiled and hurried over, hoping that it was a social call and not a request to return to Sunnydale. It wasn't that he was opposed to the idea. He found the recent visit most valuable and was glad to have finally earned the trust of Rupert, Buffy and the rest. However, things in LA had not fared as well. They didn't have any paying clients and even David Nabbitt's investment advice may not help tide them over. Furthermore, Wolfram and Hart had made full use of their absence and had managed to advance their position by taking over various small time vampire groups and linking them together. This gave them a network of spies and thugs that were being used to collect protection money and get rid of any snitches that used to give Angel valuable information. Right now, Wesley was in the process of researching protection spells that Angel needed to use as incentives for his informers so that they would continue to provide him with some form of information. He thought that if Willow was on the line, maybe she would be able to give him some advice. "Hi Willow!" Wesley grabbed the phone from Cordelia and was surprised to see her still stand there, looking worried. "Is anything the matter? Cordelia has her worried face on, which is never a good thing."



Willow was glad to hear Wesley's voice of reason. She never thought she would ever think that but things do change and Wesley's transformation, like Cordelia's was a good one. "It's not really dire or anything, I just needed your advice on some meditation techniques. I need…I want to remember the nightmares I was having without actually going through them again. Sort of…"



Wesley immediately understood what Willow was trying to get at. In fact, he had been expecting this call but not for some time. He knew that eventually, Willow would realize that sublimating everything or trying to forget things via magic never solved the problem. It was just window dressing, like a doctor treating the symptoms instead of the disease. He was surprised that Willow was confronting the issue so early on. Perhaps Giles or Tara changed her mind. He hoped that it was Tara and somehow, Willow had told her the truth about the charm spell. He didn't have proof that Willow had done it and he would not pry but he just hoped that if she did, she was now trying to make it right. "Yes, yes…sort of like walking back through your memories and recalling them but not necessarily reliving it again. It's definitely possible."



Willow let out an audible sigh over the phone. She was half expecting Wesley to berate her or tell her 'I told you so' or something. "Thank you, Wesley. I…It's something that I should have done before. I just wasn't ready."



"But you're ready now and that's what counts. Tara would be proud of you." He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say but in the end, he could tell that she was smiling on the other end of the line. "Now, we just have to decide what kind of meditation you would need. Judging by the extent of the nightmares, I expect you'd rather be fully sentient at the time. So, I would wager a simple Tibetan technique of regulating your breathing, ingesting some ginseng to center yourself and the burning some incense. That should put you in the right frame of mind to access some of the memories of the nightmares you had. I will get Cordy to e-mail the recipe for the ginseng tea and what incense to use…and Willow?"



Willow was listening and trying to take notes but she was also thinking about what she was going to face. She never really considered herself all that brave but she knew that she couldn't run away from a fight or accept it when her friends or family were in trouble. This was even more important than that. Over the past few months, she finally realized that the way she was feeling, the love for Tara that was growing exponentially each day, it wasn't entirely new. Vestiges of those feelings had been plaguing her in her nightmares ever since Buffy died. She had to find out why and she had to prevent their outcome. If her nightmares were actual indications of things to come, then she needed to why and work out how she could prevent it. "Yeah, I'm here. I was just…I just hope I'm ready to face whatever needs facing…I'll wait for the e-mail"



"Willow, if you think it's going to be to difficult, maybe you should-"



Willow knew what Wesley was going to say and she didn't want to hear it. She could just not carry on with her plan but it wouldn't be fair to her or Tara. Despite her fear, she cut Wesley off and wore her resolve face. "I need to do this for me and for Tara." That was all that needed to be said. She didn't have to see to know that Wesley was nodding his head. "Bye, Wes and tell Cordy thanks as well."





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Despite not having any clocks in the room, Willow could always tell how early it was in the morning and she knew it was time. She dreaded leaving the warm bed and hated even more actually having to leave the safe embrace of Tara's loving arms. However, it was a good time to carry out her plan. She slowly got out of bed only to stop midway when Tara let out a sigh and touched Willow's empty half of the bed. Not wanting to alarm her lover, Willow slowly bent down and whispered "Baby, I'm just going downstairs for a bit. I'll be up soon." Willow smiled when she saw Tara's small pout. Despite still being asleep, the blonde was not that happy that Willow wasn't next to her anymore. As a consolation, Willow again bent down and kissed her near her hairline. "I'll be back soon." With that, she picked up the bundle of supplies on the dresser and slowly made her way out. Just to be on the safe side, Willow peeked into Dawn's room and was glad to see Dawn fast asleep.



She knew that Buffy was actually patrolling with Spike and would only be back in the morning but she looked into Buffy's room anyway, just in case the slayer had come home early and needed help with any of her injuries. Willow still had not discussed helping Buffy with patrols but Tara had told her to be patient. She was still learning about magic and the bigger spells that were needed on patrol were still out of her league. In order to make up for her absence, Spike, Giles and Tara were going to take turns with helping Buffy. When Tara first broached the subject, Willow was adamantly against it. However, Tara's argument about being able to look after herself and being proficient in magic won out and Willow reluctantly agreed. Buffy wasn't that thrilled with the idea but it made sense especially after they all discussed the possibility that they were being targeted. Giles had postulated that it had started when they first brought her back. The spell on Buffy and the theft at the magic Box were linked, as were the Gnoraks. It wasn't a comforting thought to know that people were out to get you but to not know why. Willow just hoped that they were able to find out more soon, instead of waiting around to react to whatever their enemies had planned next. In the meantime, she was going to solve the one thing that was still standing in the way of her total honest relationship with Tara.



Willow made her way to the fireplace in the living room and started to burn the incense. Next, she poured out the cup of tea that she had brewed the night before. Wesley had advised her to add honey on account of the bitterness of the herbs but she didn't want to dull the effect in anyway so she just accepted the bitterness and swallowed the concoction. She could feel her body relaxing and her mind clearing up. It was then that Willow sat cross-legged on the floor and closed her eyes as it was time. Wesley's instructions had been quite precise. The incense and tea would help center her and allow her to be relaxed enough to access her more deeply buried memories.



Willow feels the memories surfacing, the feelings of devotion and passion come and they feel so familiar now. She is at peace and foremost in her mind, she feels her entire being suffused with love. Willow remembers this feeling as she feels it every second of everyday since admitting that her heart belonged to Tara. It is the love that gives her strength and makes her feel special. It is also a love that is unconditionally given and one that she hopes to return a thousand fold. She takes a deep breath and tries to examine the memories further, she recognizes the unwavering feelings of ardor and tenderness but she needs to see more. And soon, she understands that she also does not feel alone, that there is someone on the peripheral, someone whose presence evokes those emotions in her. All at once, Willow realizes that it is Tara, there could be no other source. Somehow, the blonde had invaded her memories even before they met at the Hyperion. She cannot see Tara's face but her silhouette and the love she feels radiating from the figure is familiar and proof enough. Suddenly, Willow remembers that the feelings of love and contentment vanish as does Tara and she gasps as she remembers the blood; the feeling of it congealing on her skin and the coldness seeping into her heart, blocking out the warmth and safety of Tara. It is too much to accept and Willow's eyes fly open and she falls forward with an anguish cry, gasping and breathing erratically.



Buffy used to look forward to night patrols but that was when it used to be a group outing. When Willow and Xander would tag along and they'd cram for calculus between her staking newly arisen vamps or when they would all get together to decry their non-existent love lives. Or even when Giles would follow her to see if their training had paid off and lament that she was still telegraphing her moves. Buffy guessed things started to change after High School. She had taken to patrolling with Riley and even after she, Xander, Giles and Willow made up and defeated Adam, they never really got back to patrolling together regularly. Then came Glory and it was always a better idea to have her friends watch over Dawn and stay out of the mad woman's path. Now, it was back to group patrolling, not for the fun or camaraderie but more because they were not sure of the extent of their enemies wanted to hurt them. Despite all this, Buffy could see herself beginning to enjoy patrols again. Spike had accompanied her tonight and their uneasy friendship had continued. For this patrol, he regaled her with stories of his adventures in Woodstock. It was funny that he specifically censored the killing bits and only went on to describe the music acts and weird couplings he'd witnessed. She bet that if Dawn was there, he would have made it sound gory and bloody and told her about his kills, but with Buffy, it was as if he sensed that she saw so much blood and carnage anyway, it was better to talk about other things. She was grateful for that, although Spike's too descriptive story about the wanton sex made her blush and think about her own lackluster love life. All in all, it was a good night of killing three vamps and ensuring that Sunnydale was safe for anotherr day.



Buffy slowly led herself into the kitchen. She almost expected to see Tara again but was glad for the silence. It at least meant that everyone was resting and that in a couple of hours, Tara and Willow would wake up and make them all a big breakfast. She almost made her way up the stairs when the sound of Willow's crying caught her attention. Buffy rushed into the living room, her stake drawn, only to be confronted by Willow's huddled form in front of the fireplace. She wanted so much to go to her best friend but slayer instincts forced her to check out the room first to see that there were no other surprises. Buffy slowly did a sweep of the living room, not once lowering her stake and only after confirming that she and Willow were the only two people there, did she kneeled down in front of her best friend.



"Will…Will! Are you ok?…Did you have a fight with Tara?" That was the only reason Buffy could think of that would make Willow come downstairs and cry instead of snuggling up to her honey. However, it was then that Buffy also noticed the slight smell of incense in the air and the herbs in the cup next to the fireplace. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, or at least she didn't want to accuse Willow of anything but she had to ask. "Did you do a spell?" Buffy managed to keep her voice even as she leaned in and placed a comforting hand on Willow's back. She was concerned as Willow had not even acknowledged her presence and her breathing was still rather shallow. Buffy hoped that it wasn't a spell. Willow had promised Tara to stop using the big magic and she didn't want to see her friend throw that away.



Willow could feel Buffy's hand and she tried to focus on that, she needed to wrench her mind away from the maelstrom of bad, bad thoughts running in her head. All centered around the fact that Tara might be taken from her and that she had foreseen it in her dreams. She had known what it would feel like to have one's heart ripped away; to feel like dying even though she could still sense each ragged breath as it passed from her lips. Even the mere remembrance of it had stopped her from going back further in her memories. "No…not a spell. I just need…" Willow tried to push herself up with her hands but she couldn't find the strength and nearly hit the floor, face first. Luckily, Buffy's quick reflexes stopped her downward motion and she found herself being carried to the couch. As soon as she was laid down, Buffy ran into the kitchen. She could hear the tap running and Buffy emerged with a glass of water and her patented look of apprehension.



"Will, what's going on?"



Buffy believed Willow when she said it wasn't a spell but the tears and the fact that she was nearly shaking was alarming and Buffy wanted to find out if she could help.



Willow was initially surprised that Buffy had just accepted her word that she had not done a spell but she was glad as she didn't have the energy to convince Buffy otherwise. "I was meditating." She answered softly as she slowly sipped the water, glad to have something to hold onto to stop her hands from shaking. It frightened Willow that she could not even face all of her memories, that the mere thought of losing Tara had completely undone her. She placed the glass down and held her clenched hands in her lap.



"Ok, how long was I dead? ‘Cause, the last time I remember, meditating didn't leave one crying, shaking and gasping for air?" Buffy didn't want to push an already exhausted Willow but she knew that she had been lax with her duties of best friend. She wasn't sure if Willow needed someone to talk to right now but the least she could do was offer. "You can talk to me…"



"I…I had nightmares when…when you died." Willow wasn't sure if that was the starting point of it all, but it seemed to be. "They would start of really well, I would feel so loved and safe and in love…" Willow's voiced trailed off and she wasn't really looking at Buffy anymore but just acknowledging Tara's love again and feeling it cocoon her.



Buffy didn't want to interrupt so she reached out and slowly took one of Willow's hands in her own. She knew that what Willow was going to say would be difficult and she wanted to show best friend type support.



"Initially, I thought the dreams were from you, that you were trying to tell me everything would be ok but there was always someone there, someone whom I didn't recognize but…"



"But that was the person you felt all the big time love for?" Buffy used to have dreams like that. She never really told anyone but before coming to Sunnydale, she had dreamt of the Master as well as Angel. Or at least she thought it was Angel. He would always be on the periphery like a shadow, but she always felt his devotion and love for her. The dreams had always recurred every summer except the last, when she had died.



"Yes…But then it changes and…and…oh God!" Willow couldn't breathe, she felt like there were bands around her chest constricting her. She could see her vision blurring and heard Buffy calling her name, telling her to take deep breaths as well as guiding her head downwards.



"Will…Willow, come on, don't do this, just take a few deep breaths…that's it." Buffy tried to keep the panic from her voice. Killing vampires didn't faze her anymore but seeing her best friend go pale and almost limp tended to scare the hell out of her.



"Immookay"



Buffy could hear Willow's muffled voice but was still unsure until she saw Willow slowly raise her head. "Ok, but no more fainting spells, right?"



Willow nodded and slowly leaned back, she needed to at least be able to say what she thought out loud so that she could tell Tara without fainting. "I think I was dreaming about Tara and that it ends…the dream becomes a nightmare because she's taken away, the love and passion leaves me and I'm cold, so cold and there's blood and…."



"Dreaming about Tara…that's a good thing, right? Well except for the losing her part and the blood which is never of the good. Is there…is there anything else, like why she goes away?" Buffy knew that something was missing, that she had still not been told the whole story.



"The dreams started before I met her, before I knew what she meant to me. It was before I met her so I didn't know it was her and…and she was having nightmares too…when I was. I mean we would have them at the same time. But I didn't know they were about her…" Willow looked at Buffy, wanting her to just accept what she had said. She really didn't know that the figure in her dreams was Tara. It seemed obvious now because the feelings she felt for Tara were so comparable to those from her dream.



"So you guys are really connected, huh…But I still don't understand how all that translates into extreme meditation in the living room…" Buffy's own prophetic dreams and years of living on the Hellmouth made it easy for her to accept what Willow had said. She did believe in fate and it was obvious that Tara and Willow belonged together.



"I did a spell." Willow dropped her head and continued as she looked down at her hands in her lap. "A charm spell. Tara's nightmares were not like mine. They were of her experiences in Pylea and she…Buffy, they were bad and when she had them, she hurt herself. I…I couldn't let that happen. So since I figured that we both had nightmares at the same time, if I could stop mine, I would be able to stop hers."



"So you did a spell on yourself?" Buffy was beginning to understand more but she still needed Willow to fill in the details.



"Yes, I mean no. I wanted to but my dreams were not of anything I had experienced yet so it would have been difficult to remove them but Tara's were of her past so…"



"So you did a spell on Tara…Does she know?" It was the first question to pop into Buffy's mind and Willow's look of guilt gave her the answer she needed.



"I…I wanted to keep her safe and I didn't think that my nightmares were that important. I just wanted to make sure she would be ok, so I did a charm spell on the bracelet I gave her. As long as she wears it, it blocks her nightmares…and mine as well." Willow could still remember seeing Tara writhing on the floor clawing at the imaginary collar around her next. She could still hear Tara's cries for the pain to stop.



"But now?" Buffy knew Willow was the smart one and that she learnt from her mistakes.



"I think that my nightmares were trying to tell me something, trying to warn me about losing Tara. My God! Buffy, I can't lose her!" Willow's was once again felt her body grow cold and her chest tighten.



The slight hysteria coloring Willow's voice alerted Buffy to another of Willow's panic attacks so Buffy, grabbed hold of Willow's shoulders and made Willow look at her before she spoke. "So what can we do to ensure that never happens?" Buffy needed Willow to concentrate on the solution and not the problem. She hoped that that would be enough to center Willow and not make her go all fainty.



"I…I don't know. I want to tell her about the spell first. I need to." She needed to tell Tara that she did a spell and accept the consequences. It wasn't fair that Tara was teaching her about magic and had mentioned one of the sacred tenets of always asking for permission, from the Goddess or from the person on whom the spell was to be done. Willow had looked away when Tara said those words and she wanted so much to be able to look her lover in the eyes, always.



"Good…that's good. In the meantime, I'll have Spike stop by the house or magic Box every now and then and keep an eye out when I'm not there. Nothing's going to take Tara away from you, not if I have anything to say about it." This was something she could definitely help with. It was part of her duty as a slayer, to protect the innocent and she knew Tara fit the bill. Adding to that, her best friend was thoroughly in love with the blonde such that any hint of her leaving would send Willow hyperventilating and that was unacceptable for Buffy. She needed clear headed Willow, the one she always had.



"I'm…I'm still scared." It was an admission that she could make to Buffy as it was not about courage or lack thereof and she knew Buffy understood that. When she had pulled herself away from the dark memory of pain and loss and came out of the meditation, she knew that Tara was part of those memories. What she still did not know was if she could stop it from coming to pass. Willow wanted to know if her lessons in magic would allow her to use her power to stop it or whether she should actually not use magic as it always had consequences that led to very bad things. "I don't know if I should just learn from Tara and Giles and Wesley as much about magic as possible so I'll be ready and to fight anything that would take Tara away or that it's the magic that causes me to lose her, that one of my spells goes wonky or bad and I…I lose her. Maybe I should just stop with the lessons or send her away or…I just don't know."



Buffy didn't know how to convince Willow that she had to trust herself and know that she would always do what was best for her friends. She understood now that that was what Willow had done for her. She thought that Buffy had died unnecessarily and because of that she risked hurting herself to perform the Spell that was needed for her resurrection. Buffy didn't want to tell Willow that she had not suffered and that she had felt at peace, wherever she was. aybe it really wasn't her time to die and she was just in limbo waiting. Maybe that was why she felt at peace but never saw her mother or her cousin Celia or Miss Calendar. "You have to trust yourself, Will. You'll know the right thing to do. Just like you'll know the right time to tell Tara about the spell. I have complete faith in you…Now, there's still a couple of hours of night time left so why don't you go up and snuggle with your honey and I'll have breakfast waiting for you in the morning."



Willow leaned forward and pulled Buffy into a hug before registering her offer to make breakfast. It was sweet but Dawn, Tara and Buffy deserved more than cereal and milk. "Ok, but I think Tara and I were set on making waffles in the morning but if you want the joy of adding cereal to the milk…"



"No, I think the cereal idea just got over-ruled by yummy waffles. Go on, I'll clear away the incense and stuff."



Willow nodded and slowly got up from the couch. Despite feeling bone tired and knowing that somewhere in her future, there was a possibility of losing Tara, at least Buffy had agreed to help protect her love and tomorrow, she would tell Tara about the spell.



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Warren didn't like having to wait around. He was a criminal mastermind, a genius who had eluded the slayer and caused her harm. It was beneath him to act as a chauffeur but unfortunately, he could not trust Andrew with explaining the nuances of their situation to the new arrival. So instead, he instructed Andrew and Jonathon to test out their new spy equipment at the all women's gym in town. That gave him enough of time to drive to the Sunnydale airport and wait for his newest accomplice. He looked at his watch and up at the monitor showing the landing times of all the recent flights, his guest should be disembarking any minute. Instead of carrying a sign, Warren had agreed to carry a briefcase containing the money he had offered as an incentive for coming back to Sunnydale. It was slightly puzzling as there were four or five other guys there carrying briefcases as well and Warren wondered how the man would be able to pick him out.



"Money has always had a certain attraction for me. I can always hear it calling."



The cultured British voice pulled Warren out of his thoughts and he did a double as the voice did not look like it belonged to the person before him. Ethan Rayne looked incredibly different from the pictures that Andrew had retrieved from Mayor Wilkins old files. His hair was now cropped close to his head and it did little to hide the scar running from the middle of his temple down to his cheek. He was definitely not what Warren was expecting. And even though his name would not strike fear in anyone, Ethan Rayne's new look certainly would.



"Um…er, you must be Ethan Rayne." Warren held out his hand, expecting a more civilized greeting between criminal masterminds.



Ethan Rayne let the boy's hand hang there for some time before reaching out and taking the briefcase that he had set on the ground. He could always tell where the money was and this was like taking candy from a babe. The bumbling boy in front of him had managed to track him down despite his own efforts to remain hidden and for that, he deserved the fifty thousand dollars in the briefcase. The boy had promised him more, if he would come to Sunnydale and help get rid of the slayer and her friends. Ethan had contemplated refusing and doing a better job of disappearing so that any idiot kids with access to computers would never find him. However, the lure of money and revenge had him boarding a plane and coming back to the hellhole, or more fittingly, Hellmouth. The plan they had laid out for him was fairly easy. He would get fifty thousand for showing up and another fifty thousand after his deed was done. The only catch was that he did not know what they expected him to do. For all their information gathering, he was sure that they were still in the dark about the chip in his head, courtesy of the US military. He would not be able to access any of his own magical powers to get back at Rupert and his slayer but that didn't mean that he was powerless. The boy in front of him had bragged and Ethan didn't believe half of his words but what he did realize from the spiel was that this would be a chance for him to get his revenge "Yes and you must be…?"



"Warren, Warren Mears... I'm the one that brought you here and you're going to help me get rid of the slayer. We've tried demons and confusion spells and yet she's still there…always with her little friends helping. But see…there's a new development, she has a friend, a witch who apparently has pretty big magic hidden away and Buffy's not too pleased with that." Warren was getting worked up and during his little tirade and he had paced back and forth around the small waiting area, not really looking at Ethan until he brought up Willow. From the information in the military files and those left behind by the mayor, Warren had surmised that the main attraction for Ethan would be Willow's magic. He probably had his own powers but they definitely paled in comparison to Willow's. And if Jonathon was too chicken to exploit Willow, Warren was sure Ethan would not be. "The witch has all this power but she can't seem to control the bigger spells and people have got hurt…Buffy doesn't want that to occur again…"



Ethan had looked up when Warren mentioned magic. The boy didn't know about his own lack thereof but here, he had given Ethan an ideal solution for his problem. If he could not access his own magic, that didn't stop him from accessing someone else's. He had come back determined to drain Rupert of whatever meager magic he had left. That was never Rupert's strong point. His power didn't come from within but was always due to the knowledge he had of spells and the arcane. However, the way Warren had described the little witch, he was almost angry at Rupert for never discussing her and always talking about his slayer. "Well, well, well. I assume the reason for my presence would be to ensure that the magic does get out of hand and soon?"



Warren smiled, it was better than he expected. Ethan Rayne's new look and his quick uptake on the situation was a good sign. Initially, he had not wanted to part with so much money but if Ethan could bring about what he hoped, Buffy's blood would soon be his and he would be able to accomplish all of his plans. "Exactly, I'll explain along the way. We've arranged for a room for you at the Sunnydale Motor Inn. I think you're familiar with it…"



-------------------------------------------------------------------------





"Ok, there are like a million reasons why that is such a bad idea." Buffy could not believe Willow was even suggesting what she had suggested. It was inconceivable and definitely not right. At Willow's raised eyebrow, she amended her words slightly but still held on to her note of disbelief. "Ok, not a million reasons but are we forgetting the Judge, Angel's soul and Dawn's knife adventure last year…Celebrating my birthday is the one thing that can guarantee horrible things occurring, it's like tradition."



Willow agreed with most of what Buffy was saying but she wanted a reason to celebrate. Xander and Anya had picked Dawn up from school and they were all waiting around for the pizza to be delivered. It seemed like old times with the notable absence of Giles who had volunteered to lock up the magic Box so Anya and Tara could leave early. However, everyone looked older and tired. They needed a party and since Buffy's birthday was just around the corner, Willow had suggested they celebrate that. Thinking back to all the examples that Buffy had just listed, Willow was amazed she had even suggested it in the first place. "Sorry, I just…it's just that everyone who should be here is here." Tara was lying on the couch next to Willow with her head in Willow's lap and as she said those words, they linked hands. "And well, I think that's cause for a celebration and a birthday party seemed like a good idea."



Tara's smile at Willow's words turned wishful. A party of any sort would be fun especially since all they had been doing the past few months were fighting and trying to stay alive, she had been doing that for the past five years. Birthday parties sounded even more fun, with presents and celebrating another year of learning and growth with your loved ones. Tara had not been able to do that for five years and it saddened her. The only thing she had tried to keep track of in Pylea was the anniversary of her arrival there. However, that wasn't a date to be celebrated and therefore, in time, she had forgot all the other dates of import like Easter or Christmas or her birthday. Remembering that one date was enough but at least now, that date was superceded by a new and more important one, the day she met Willow.



"Hey, Baby, you ok?" Willow's concerned voice drew Tara back into the conversation.



"Tara, you're the sane voice of reason, you have to agree with me and agree that birthdays are evil." Buffy had already got Anya and Xander to vouch for her crappy luck with birthdays and all she needed now was Tara to agree as well. That would be the only thing that could change Willow's mind.



"I…I guess so…I haven't celebrated mine in five years." Tara didn't mean to sound sad, she had just meant to agree with Buffy that perhaps not celebrating her birthday was a good thing.



"Oh, Sweetie!" Willow had felt Tara's slight change in mood and almost regretted bringing up the whole birthday celebration idea. She smiled down at her love and slowly bent to kiss her and try and take away some of her sadness.



"It's ok…I mean, I didn't mean to make you feel bad for me." Tara could still feel the taste of Willow on her lips and was glad to always have her there.



"Well, then we won't feel bad for you and we'll just have to celebrate your birthday instead." It was such a logical idea for Dawn. Willow wanted a party and Tara had not celebrated her birthday in five years. She looked expectantly around, Buffy was nodding her head and so was Xander. She could see that Anya was about to say something, most likely revolving around presents and if she should buy one as they cost money but instead, Anya just looked over at Tara and smiled. Dawn didn't want to make the same mistake she had with inviting Tara's family without her permission. If they were to celebrate Tara's birthday, she needed Tara to agree to it as well so she just looked over to where the blonde was sitting with Willow and was rewarded with a big smile from the both of them.



"Dawnie, that's a great idea, absolutely great. That's exactly what we need…Ok, we need decorations…I can do that, and food, Xander you have to improvise cause of the short notice but you need to get a cake as well. I think the bakery may still be open if you hurry and music, Dawn…could you get all your CDs… and-" Willow was already listing down all the necessities for a Tara party but was cut off by Xander's relevant question.



"Whoa there wiccan party planner but when exactly are we having Tara's much deserved birthday?" By the looks of it, Willow was going to have it then and there but Xander knew that the date should be Tara's choice. It was her party after all.



If it was up to her, Willow would have started the celebration right then, but she understood that it still depended on Tara and what she wanted was most important, so she gladly stopped her list making and waited for Tara to say something.



Tara couldn't believe that everyone there wanted to throw a party for her and that Willow was already planning for it to start right now. It would be a good distraction and Tara figured that if they had an impromptu one now, the Scoobies would not go to too much trouble with gifts and decorations and it would just be a fun night celebrating with friends. "I…I don't know. I mean I think I used to celebrate it near the end of the year, in October, I think but…I guess since I missed 5 years of celebrating them, we could have a small party tonight…just don't go through too much trouble." The last part of Tara's sentence was lost as Willow again started making up her list and Xander grabbing his coat and rushing out the door with Anya saying he would get the cake and food and be back in an hour. Buffy was already trying to decide how to talk Dawn out of playing any boy band music and mentally going over what kind of drinks they had in the fridge.



All that was needed now was to call Giles and inform him of their slight change in plans. Willow quickly made the call and despite his surprise, Giles had wholeheartedly agreed that it was a great idea. He even had a gift in mind and wondered if they needed anything else. Willow was going to ask him to bring back the plastic fairy lights that they had in the shop but instead she was struck with a better idea and just told him to come over as soon as he finished. As she put down the phone, she wondered if Tara would approve of what she wanted to do. It would be considered slightly frivolous but in keeping with her magic lessons, it was still acceptable. The only thing she needed to do was to ask Tara's permission.



"Sweetie?"



Tara was still trying to grasp the fact that her friends were going to throw her a birthday party despite it being months away, just because she had not had one in the past five years. It was a world away from being alone and stranded in Pylea. "Hmm, I was just thinking how lucky I've been." Tara didn't want to take anything for granted as she reached out for Willow's hand and pulled her into a kiss. She had lost five years and the recent months with Willow had helped erase the pain caused by that. So in return, Tara wanted to always show Willow how much the red-head meant to her. Despite the secrets that she knew Willow was keeping and Willow's problem with controlling her magic, Tara knew that the most important thing was that Willow loved her and in turn, she loved Willow.



"Well, I'm not going to get into a who's the luckier one argument because I know I am…So I'll just enjoy another kiss…" Willow smirked as she leaned in again to capture Tara's lips. It wasn't just the physical contact that made her feel special, it was also the fact that every time they kissed, Willow could sense another gossamer connection being formed between their souls, something linking them across time and space and would forever link them. She sighed against Tara's lips, not wanting to break the connection but needing to ask for permission for what she wanted to do. "I was…I want to use some magic for the decorations. Not for a banner or anything but well…for this." Willow could not really articulate what she wanted to do so instead, she showed Tara what she meant as she led Tara to the back garden. As she passed each small shrub, she would subtly wave her hand and flowers would bloom, and each flower would glow from within. For the big tree there, she chanted a small spell and it immediately brightened like it was lighted by a thousand real fairy lights. The overall effect, made the garden even more magical then Tara could imagine.



"Is this ok? I…I can change it back. I know it's not good to use magic for oneself but I wanted to do something for you, something that came from me and…" Willow just wanted to show Tara what all the places looked like to her because Tara was there with her. Everywhere she went, it always seemed brighter or more serene because she had Tara with her, either by her side or in her heart. This was just a way to show her love how she looked at the world because of the presence of the blonde.



Tara understood every sentiment Willow had expressed for she felt the same way. Willow had not used magic to make her life easier or to solve a problem, she had shared her magic as a gift with Tara and Tara could see nothing wrong with that.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------



"So what exactly is lighting the tree again causes its giving me the heebie jeebies and not in a good way." Xander had come through with food as well as a big chocolate cake. Tara didn't mind that it said 'Happy Parole' on it as Buffy soon covered it up with as many candles as she could find. The gang was sitting around a small table Willow had set up, each in a chair except for Willow who had decided to forgo her own chair and sit on the armrest of Tara's, just so that she could touch her love.



"They're not bugs…bunny." Willow said and just for good measure added the last part softly so that she could elicit a look from Anya. "Sorry." She continued, smiling at Xander who had stated grinning at that as well.



"Bunnies are evil and if it’s the last thing I do, I shall convince all of you of that pertinent fact. Well, that and ensure that my wedding goes off without a hitch next month." Despite talks of bunnies and such, Anya was in a great mood. Xander was not acting all weirded out anymore and he even asked about the seating arrangements for the wedding. He was coming around and at least he had stopped flinching when she brought the term wedding up. She was even glad that Giles was taking a bigger interest in the store again, well not glad but she understood that it meant that Giles was back among the living and not slowly dying inside because of his guilt at watching Buffy die. Anya was even happy that Buffy was back to once again put all their lives in danger because she was the slayer. It had been a difficult year but all of them made it and they even garnered a new friend. Anya watched as Tara joked easily with Dawn and Buffy. She quickly cast a sideway glance at Willow as well just to make sure the Willow had not caught her in the act of scoping out her girlfriend.



Anya liked Tara, not in the way Willow liked her but more like a friend. Since turning human, she never had any close friends except for Xander. He had turned out to be her friend and lover and she knew how special that was but she also knew that being a lover and friend to her was linked in Xander's mind. However, with Tara, Anya could say anything and Tara wouldn't roll her eyes or give an exasperated sigh like Buffy and Willow. But more than that, Tara made her feel like she belonged in the group as well and not only because she dated Xander. Tara would listen to her theories about evil bunnies or what type of witch Martha Stewart was. "We should give Tara her presents now." Anya thought it was only right that Tara get presents for being her friend and well she knew Willow probably wanted Tara to get presents for giving her orgasms.



Tara wasn't really expecting any gifts. "No, the party is enough and I really…I don't need anything more." She placed her arms around Willow as she said this, showing everyone there that all she needed was their company and that of Willow's.



"Well, it is tradition so you can't say no. Besides, I worked long and hard on this present." Xander quipped as handed over a piece of paper. On it was written the words, 'Driving lessons and free car rides'. After reading it, Tara was still unsure and she looked back at Xander, hoping he would elaborate.



"Willow said you never got your license because you…well you were in Pylea so I figured you'd want to learn so I am offering lessons and use of my car." Xander always noticed that Tara would walk or take the bus even when it was dark out and not safe. Anya had even graciously agreed let him out of some wedding preparations so he could have time to teach Tara.



"You can start tomorrow with the lessons, after you help me do the new inventory at our shop." Anya added, hoping Tara would catch the difference. She had thought long and hard about gifts and friendship and what it meant. If she had to prioritize, Xander would be the most important thing in her life followed by her livelihood at the magic Box. Giles had already agreed to take her on as a partner of sorts and she felt proud that she had adapted so well to being human again after a thousand years as a demon. She wanted to show Tara that she was important too, she helped out at the store and sales had increased, so Anya decided that she would give Tara a tiny part of the store as well. It was a big step for Anya to give up something she held in such high regard. "I called Giles and we agreed that you should get a teeny tiny part of the store. Not a big part like mine but still you get a teeny bit so Yay you!"



Xander's gift was perfect for Tara as she always wanted to get her license. It would mean she could pick Willow and Dawn from class and help Buffy with the grocery shopping and not worry anyone if she had to work late at the magic Box. "Thanks, they're great presents. We could definitely start tomorrow and Anya…are you sure?" Tara was so surprised at Anya's gift. It wasn't that she thought Anya was selfish but the ex-demon loved the store almost as much as Xander and to give part of it up was a huge step.



"Yes, and just accept it before I change my mind. You're a good friend and you never mention bunnies or laugh when I show you the money or make you do the money dance with me and well, happy birthday." Anya went over to hug Tara. She always wanted another best friend and she knew she found that in the Tara.



Buffy wanted to go next, she didn't really know what to give Tara and had spent the better part of the hour going over the stuff in her room and closet to see if she had anything worthwhile. In the end, the solution turned out to be something similar to Xander's idea. Ever since she came back, she had noticed that it was Tara and Willow had managed to keep the house running and feed and clothe Dawn. The chore schedule on the fridge for taking out the garbage and making breakfast and doing laundry was more or less filled with Tara's name. Buffy knew that she had been left off the list because of her patrols and she appreciated it. However, she needed to get back into the swing of things and decided that the best way to start was to take the burden off Tara. "It's kinda like Xander's gift as well. I'm going to do the dishes, laundry for the next three months and after that, you have to include me in on the chore list." Buffy knew it was a small gesture but she hoped that Tara understood the meaning behind it. That she was family, like Dawn and Willow and Xander and Giles and even Anya. Despite the short amount of time that Tara was around, she had proven that she belonged and was needed. "Family should help each other out."



It was just the right thing to say for Buffy and Tara appreciated it. It was nice to be accepted not for being Willow's girlfriend but for being who she was and helping out in her own way. "Thank you, so much. I…all this…it's more than I could have ever asked for."



"And it's not over yet." Dawn had actually made a gift for Tara. She had wanted to do something for the blonde ever since Tara helped her at Buffy's funeral, but she didn't know what Tara liked. In the end, the idea for her gifts came after one of their excursions to the mall. There was an exhibition of semi-precious stones there. Tara had been looking at the amber and jade ones and commenting on how pretty their colors were. What Dawn noticed was that the blue jade was the exact shade of Tara's eyes. So when the blonde had gone off to get some food for them, Dawn drew out some money from the ATM and bought three blue jade stones and two amber ones. They were small and didn't cost that much but it still meant that she probably wouldn't be able to buy anything for the next few months but Dawn had it all planned out. She knew of a jeweler that used to help out at her mom's gallery. She had her own store and Dawn had promised to work there a couple of hours everyday after school in exchange for helping out with the setting of the stones. All in all, it took about a month and despite not knowing the reason of Dawn's employment, Buffy and Tara were glad that she enjoyed her small job and was even trying to earn some of her own pocket money. "I made this for you." Dawn quickly thrust out her hand holding a small white box.



Tara reached out to accept the box. She could see Dawn holding her breath so she quickly opened it and heard a collective gasp from Buffy, Wilow and Anya. For nestled in the box was a delicate silver bracelet inlaid with blue jade and amber. "It's beautiful Dawn…and it's also too expensive. I can't…I can't accept it."



Dawn's face fell but she wanted to explain to Tara about the gift. "But I made it so it didn't cost that much. That's why I've been working at Mrs. Stevenson's shop. I know you loved the colors of the stones so I bought them and she's been helping me set them in exchange for helping out at her store. So it really didn't cost that much. I just…I just wanted to get you something that you'd like."



"Oh, Dawnie, it's beautiful and I do love it. Thank you."



Willow suddenly realized that she had not really got Tara a present. Not like Buffy, Anya or Xander and definitely nothing like Dawn's. She had been so busy thinking about the decorations and calling Giles and making all her lists that she completely forgot about Tara's gift. She knew that the gang was beginning to wonder what gift she would come up with and she still could not think of anything until she looked into Tara's eyes. Then, it hit her, the one thing that she could give Tara but had not as yet because she had been too frightened. So Willow strengthened her resolve as stood up, knowing that what she was about to say could change so many things and not for the better.



"Umm..well, I guess you're all wondering what I got um,…Tara, I didn't get you a present but I do want to give you something. I need to tell you something, something I should have told you from the start…before…" Willow's serious tone, make the other Scoobies look up and even Anya stayed silent. Tara could see the sense Willow's unease and her determination and although she was suddenly afraid of what Willow was going to say, she knew that Willow needed to get it out. So like the rest of the people there, she stayed silent but she could not just allow Willow to go ahead without some kind of support. Tara knew that Willow had stood up because she wanted to gather her courage and that she felt that she didn't deserve to impinge on Tara's strength by sitting next to her and touching her. However, that didn't mean that Tara couldn't send out her feelings of love and trust to Willow so that was what she concentrated on doing.



Willow could feel the waves of love envelope her and she wanted to cry. Tara was still trying to protect her and show her love despite knowing that Willow was about to confess to something. "I… I did a spell. It wasn't a big one or anything but I did it without permission and I…I never told you." Willow's voice wasn't too loud but from the shocked looks on Anya's and Dawn's faces, she knew that they had all heard her confession.



It wasn't exactly what Tara was expecting but it did explain Willow's unease and guilt. She hoped that the disappointment didn't show on her face. She wouldn't let her initial emotions hurt Willow as she knew that her love was trying to make amends. She needed to know what spell Willow did and why and then they could deal with the repercussions. So Tara looked directly at Willow, silently urging her to continue, her features not registering shock or disgust but remaining serene. It gave Willow courage to know that Tara wasn't going to judge her just yet but apparently Anya was.



"You did a spell on Tara without her permission? What are you? Stupid?" Anya's incredulous tone drew stares from everyone there but she didn't care. She just couldn't comprehend how Willow could actually be that stupid. How she could actually do a spell on Tara and not ask for permission. Even Anya knew that there were two things that witches shouldn't do, the first was do anything for personal gain and the second was to do a spell on someone without their permission. There were actual vengeance demons out there whose side job was to get back at errant witches who broke those rules.



"Yes…I mean no…I mean yes I'm probably an idiot but it wasn't a spell on Tara." Willow looked back at Tara, almost frightened to look in her eyes as she didn't want to see any hurt there especially since she would be the cause of it. However, she had to do this and accept the consequences. "It wasn't a spell on you. I put it on the charm bracelet. I wanted to help stop your nightmares…so I…I placed a spell on the bracelet and gave it to you so you would stop dreaming about Pylea." She had said it. It was just as difficult as she imagined it would be. Furthermore, she could see the slight hurt in Tara's blue eyes, coupled with her look of uncertainty. Willow understood that it probably meant that Tara would question all the other things that she thought Willow may have done or kept from her.



"I wanted to tell you but then I didn't…I…I know there's no excuse for it but I just wanted to stop you from hurting and I would do the same spell again but I know now I would have asked for permission first." Willow wanted to go to Tara and hold her hand and plead for forgiveness but it she didn't want to use her tears as a way to earn Tara's forgiveness.



"And what if I said no?" Tara's soft voice cut to the heart of the matter. What if she had not wanted the spell, what then? Willow had taken away her choice, she never thought that there would be a comparison to Pylea on Earth but here it was. She never had any choices in Pylea when she was a slave and here, Willow had also taken away her choice. Deep down, she knew that the reason behind it was made out of love and Willow's misunderstood need to help people but it was still taking away a choice that should have been hers to make.



Willow had expected hurt and perhaps anger from Tara but she never expected to be asked that question. "I…I would have hoped that you wouldn't but…it should have been you choice. I took that away from you and although I only did it because…because I didn't want to see you hurt, I…I should have asked you first. I am so sorry…and I understand if you can't forgive me or want to…or want to leave… please don't leave… and please just remember that…remember that I love you and I'm so sorry." Willow knew that her apology was insignificant but it was all she had to offer. That and her belief that despite what she did, Tara would see through her own hurt and anger and forgive her. It was the only thing keeping her rooted to her spot and not falling to her knees and crying. She had to trust that Tara would see through her mistake and realize that she didn't want to be the one hiding things or doing spells without permission. And that she needed Tara. However, she also loved Tara enough to know that if she couldn't forgive her, she would let her go. She didn't want to but she would not make the decision for Tara. It would hurt her beyond measure and she knew how that felt like because of her nightmares but she would not take away Tara's choice now.



Again, Tara had to take another deep breath and not go with her first instinct, which was to go upstairs, have a good cry and pack. She accepted that what Willow had done was wrong but she also had to acknowledge that Willow loved her enough to tell her the truth amongst her friends and even enough to let her go. If she did go up and pack, it would probably be a small bag for a short trip to LA to visit Angel and to have a good cry there but LA wasn't home. Willow was her home, the only place she felt she belonged and she had to decide if she could accept Willow's mistakes as well as her love. It wasn't a difficult decision and she didn't want Willow to suffer for it. "I'm not leaving but…but what you did was wrong and you can't do that again. You can't make decisions for me and you can't always be there to protect me."



"I will always try…I mean I will never take away your choices but you can't expect me to never try and be there for you always. I will always try and protect you, not by making decisions for you or doing spells but I love you and…well, I love you." Tara wasn't going to leave her and that was the only thought in her head. She saw Tara get up and walk towards her and didn't notice her knees buckling until she felt Tara's strong arms supporting her, preventing her fall.



"I've got you." Tara soothingly whispered in her ear.



Buffy had noticed Willow's near fall as well but she knew that Tara was there so she didn't move from her chair. Instead, she nudged her sister and indicated to Xander and Anya that they should leave the witches alone.



"No, don't leave." Willow didn't want Tara's party to end because of her. Giles had still not arrived and overall, it was still a better birthday than any of Buffy's. "I'm sorry I threw a damper on stuff but I just needed Tara to know and also to promise all of you that I won't use magic like that…without permission." Willow looked down at Tara's arms encircling her. She could still see the charm bracelet there and she wasn't sure if she wanted Tara to remove it. Removing it would mean more nightma


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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7c
PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2002 9:28 am 
Very intense update :grin

Buffy finally realizing her true feelings, by talking with Spike.

Willow turning to meditation, instead of magic, to help herself deal. And finally getting up the nerve to be open and honest with Tara :clap

So much to absorbe. Great!

BV



"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin



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 Post subject: Re: Fic - I Dream of Thee
PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2002 1:51 pm 
Willow seeking Wesley's help in figuring out the dreams. It shows her growing maturity. I'm so glad Buffy didn't overreact when she saw upset Willow with spell ingredients around her. Wonderful to see her unconditional support.



Yikes as if Warren wasn't bad enough, he now has Ethan on his side. Even though he's magically handicapped he's still an evil bugger.



Loved Willow's way of decorating for the party, and her reasoning for it. Just lovely. As was Dawn's gift. Its obvious how much she cares for Tara.



Willow's admission about the spell was brilliant, I could almost hear Willow's babble.



Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls



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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7c
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2002 9:28 am 
great update :) glad Willow told Tara about the spell. its cool that Ethan showed up and its funny that he got chipped like Spike.

2nd place??? That's just a fancy term for loser!


Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!



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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7c
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2002 11:28 am 
Finally the bracelet/spell-secret is out of the way. That thing had me worried for several chapters. I can't see why Tara would want to remember Pylea (which as Willow realizes very well is no excuse) so I expect her to keep it on. Willow can study her SR-dream using meditation, preferably with Tara close-bye in case of panic attacks. Very couragous of Willow to do that revalation in front of all her friends (Anya excepted:) ). Willow knows whats in Tara's nightmares but Tara does not know what Willow found out while meditating yet. Better discuss that in private I think.



The party-magic reminded me of decoration-magic and a forgotten argument some time ago :) . Then again the wedding is in a month...confusing...



I immensly liked that Buffy took Willow's word for it that she hadn't used magic. She was only worried about Willow, not about magic... muchos progress, being a good friend.



I do recommend neither Tara or Willow ever ask a bad guy if they can use a spell on him/her though, heh. "please can I cast this fireball on you mr. Rayne ?" that would be fun :D .



Ethan Rayne want to steal some magic it seems, the chip designer was either an idiot or Ethan's theory about using someone else's magic won't work. (or he won't be able to harm humans with magic at all). I doubt Warren realizes what he's gotten himself into, Ethan does not know the word loyal at all so he's as much a threat to the Scoobies as to Warren Inc. esp. once he has his second money bag.



I do wonder where we are with this fic in time, somewhere around 6x12 _Doublemeat Palace_ like ? (= _Hell Bells_ - 4 weeks as Anya mentioned)



Wow, no charachters to dislike in this chapter. I'm fairly sure Ethan will have that honour soon enough, heh.



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 10/23/02 10:30:47 am


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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 8a
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2002 10:32 pm 
Great update so many of the things I'd been waiting for. Willow tells Tara and wow what away to tell her. This public confession was probably the best way to express her regret. And can I say I love the contrast with the decorations. This Willow knows the boundaries and not just doing it out of laziness. It's a good sign for things to come. But her realization of the dream and what it meant. That was heart breaking. Great update, thanks so much.

-------------------------------

Buffy?

Let's change it, the Discovery channel has koala bears.



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 Post subject: ohhh, Feedback
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2002 2:06 am 
*barnabasvamp* - Ok, since there was a smile there, I am assuming that intense is good :) . I think the Willow confession was a long time coming but I just could never find a way to do it except now.



*mollyig* - Ethan is just fun to watch on the show and I think he would be fun to write. As for Willow babble, I think that is probably a weakness of mine, I don't think I write it particularly well but I just love to have her babble because its such a sweet character trait.



*Grimaldi* - Thanks :grin . Ethan did get captured by the commandos so I thought it was only right he got chipped.



*Grimlock72* - Ahhh, I was wondering if peoplewould pick up the fact that Willow has not mentioned her nightmare connection as yet. Yes, it would be a private conversation but as to when it will take place...it does depend on whether Willow feels she has a handle on the whole deal. I doubt she will bring it up currently because she does not know where the threat is coming from and she wouldn't want to alarm Tara. We'll see...

Ok, I guess my timeline is kinda screwy too as I'm pulling forward the wedding as in my universe, Anya and Xander didn't hide their engagement so no need for a surprise party and unnecessary decorations ;) . We are probably around DMP and will be skipping Buffy's birthday.

LOL about asking Ethan's permission. I guess it's more about not doing magic unneccesarily. In the scenario you mentioned, it wouldn't be casting a spell on Ethan but protecting themselves from an attack. So it's more like "No one has a right to attack my girlfriend...take this fireball and shove it where..." I guess :grin .

Ethan's chip is going to be interesting and yes, his loyalties are not with Warren and you'll probabably hate him in the next update.



*xita* - Thank you muchly. I guess after holding it back for so long, it was only right that Willow tell Tara and come clean to everyone. It's also great to write her learning about magic and not trying to take shortcuts or use it as a crutch. It is a part of her that she wants to share with Tara and not just a tool.





Edited by: Warduke at: 11/25/02 8:51:11 am


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 Post subject: I Dream of Thee Ch 8b
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2002 7:08 am 
I am not sure if anyone is still reading this but if you are, thanks and hope you like this new update :)



Spoiler Warning - It starts from Seeing Red and then completely veers off in all kinds of tangents.

Disclaimer - All characters, names and some dialogue etc belong to ME and Joss Whedon. However, due to improper usage and gross mishandling of characters and plot lines by aforementioned parties, it is with great pleasure that I (and all the other writers on the board) use them for the reading pleasure of kittens everywhere.

Rating - PG again

Feedback – Yes, definitely!

Notes - Thanks to funkyasian for betaing despite a busy schedule. Sorry for the late update but I have been swamped with work and have just reached week 20 of the pregnancy . Anyway, I do have the next part almost done so hopefully you won’t have to wait too long.

Title : I Dream of Thee



Chapter 8b



Giles was whistling, if Oz was around, he probably would have been able to recognize parts of different tunes, all from obscure bands that never really made it big but had so much talent. He just finished talking to Willow over the phone and had decided to forgo taking inventory and instead quickly put together his present and make his way over to celebrate Tara's birthday. It was amazing to him that he had not recognized Willow's excited voice initially. It seemed like such a long time ago that he had met her but he could still remember her eagerness, sweet naivete and bravery in the beginning. Living on the Hellmouth and fighting alongside Buffy had taken its toll and Giles rarely caught glimpses of the Willow he first met, until recently. Her bubbling voice on the phone and the smile he knew she wore brought back such good memories and he knew that they were because of Tara.



Giles had always been almost certain that his charges, like him, would not fare well in their pursuit of love. He could count the number of failed relationships they all had. He knew that more often than not the reason for their failure could never be put down to luck but almost always to circumstance; The Hellmouth bred its own form of mischief and added to the mix of Angelus, lycantropy, teenage hormones. Each one, immensely good reasons why most of them were alone and possibly had to remain so. Except now, Willow had the power to change all of that. She had found the one person that could make her complete. He hoped she understood that and realized its significance. All these thoughts led him to the present he wanted to prepare for Tara. He had thought of giving it to Willow before, for the both of them but could never think of an appropriate reason. However, the impromptu birthday celebration was a perfect excuse to present such a gift. It had been by sheer chance he had it in his possession in the first place and always knew that he was meant more as its guardian than eventual owner. As he tidied up, he thought back to his youth. After his forays into dark magic had gone horribly wrong and his grandmother had once again taken him into the family fold, Giles had literally thrown out all of his blasted past, in the form of journals, books and spells. He had wanted to forget Ethan and the rest and start over. However, one book had gotten past his drastic sweep. He had picked it up before meeting Ethan, when he had first entered Oxford. He remembered the day well.



He was to meet his father in the afternoon and knowing what a difficult meeting it was to be, Giles had decided to forgo the morning's lecture and instead spend the day in Ayelsbury. He had planned to spend most of his day in the pub there and get good and drunk so that any of his father's lectures about duty and his place in the Council would not register and he would be able to hold his tongue. However, on his way from the bus stop, he had passed an old bookstore. There was nothing to distinguish it from the hundreds of old stores he had seen, except that some of the books displayed in the window were not published books but handwritten journals. That immediately caught his eye, as did the sign on the door that offered anyone who entered a glimpse into their future. Giles really didn't believe the sign but the old journals fascinated him. Real life had always been more interesting than fiction, reading some of the watcher's old journals were like a hobby to him. Finding out about their troubles, both mundane and mystical were always more interesting than his life. Except recently, his father had forbade him access to them unless he agreed to finish up at Oxford and then join the Council and carry on the Giles family tradition.



He had been greeted with a cheery hallo as he entered and was amazed to see that the person behind the counter wasn't old but a young girl, possibly younger than himself. After he had explained his interest, she had looked at him through narrowed eyes, as if judging his worthiness to gaze upon such private books. In the end, she nodded to herself and showed him to the small alcove in the back. It was stacked with books from floor to ceiling but what was most extraordinary was that they were all journals; bound in leather, cloth or hide, hued in different colors and of various sizes. All there for his perusal, collected over decades and years. Before taking her leave, the shop girl remarked that the one thing in common with all the journals was that each of them had a hidden secret inside and Giles just had to find the one he was looking for. He had not paid much attention to her or her words, thinking that she was probably just pulling his leg in hopes of making a sale. He had been so sure that most of the journals were written by bored tradesmen or housewives and contained no inherent value except to give its reader a view into their routine mundane lives, not really like the Watcher's journals that were now closed to him. So, he had settled himself down on the floor and picked up the nearest book. He had been right on that book and the next four that he skimmed through. They had been written in the previous century but were only recordings of boring days and mindless descriptions. He felt his stomach growl and was about to leave and resume his original quest for beer and a good stew, only to spot a small leather journal wedged on the bottom most shelf. It looked old and till today, Giles never knew the reason why it had caught his eye, but it had and in it contained the history of a witch who had live a century ago. She had written down everything from her life story to spells and potion ingredients. Even if it had been made up, it was an incredible read. And most important of all, it contained a blessing for joined souls. The witch had written that the blessing if recited by two lovers during the waxing moon just before Summer Solstice, would entwine their souls through time and both the lovers would gain the better part of each other. The whole book was like a secret world to him and Giles had immediately purchased the book. It had taken most of his drinking money and for the rest of that day, he had just sat in the park reading the rest of the journal, ignoring his hunger and the meeting with his father. It was at the end of that very week that he had tried his first spell from the book and that had led to other things, most of which he would rather forget.



Overall, Giles had never been sure if it had been worth it. It was the journal and its spells that got him interested in magic and that interest had led to Ethan and eventually to summoning Eyghon. As for the blessing, Giles had always wanted to try it but never found anyone suitable until Jenny. He had shown it to her just before he had found out about her role in Angelus's return. He had loved her so much and although he wasn't sure if the blessing would work, he knew Jenny was the type to believe and she had. She had actually looked up the date when the ritual could have been performed and dared him to do it with her but it had all turned out so badly. He had cut her off after discovering her deceit and Angelus had killed her before he realized his mistake. Thus the blessing had not been used and yet, he had not thrown out the book. Although, the singed cover showed that in a fit of anger, he had tried to burn it, only to snatch it back from the flames and again place it on his shelf. He never figured out what made him keep it but perhaps, it was because now was the time for the blessing to be used, not for him but for another special couple that would also believe. Because of his promise to Buffy, he would not assist Tara in teaching Willow about magic but that didn't stop him from giving them the journal. The spells inside were relatively mild and most importantly, Giles truly believed that the incantation for the joined souls would help Willow and Tara. If it was actually true, it would enable Willow to comprehend Tara's balance view about magic and he hoped, it would allow Tara to see how much love Willow could provide despite her own fears and shortcomings. All in all, Giles hoped it was a gift that would benefit the both of them.



He placed the old book on the counter and was about to reach for some wrapping paper when he heard the bell on the door ring. "I'm sorry but we're about to close, perhaps…Ethan." Nothing much surprised Giles nowadays but the re-appearance of Ethan was definitely a major surprise. After their last encounter and Ethan's arrest, Giles had thought that Sunnydale would be the last place Ethan would return to. Despite the fact that Giles was not unduly worried about Ethan's presence, his voice had taken on a derisive tone when he uttered Ethan's name.



"Rupert… I'm surprised you recognized me." Ethan breathed in deeply, enjoying the smell of the incense and the feel of being inside a Magic shop. "I was almost afraid you'd forgotten you old friend…Aren't you going to offer me some tea and ask after me or shall I just tell you?" The look on Rupert's face was almost worth the trip back to this hellhole. Ethan had always taken perverse pleasure in getting under Rupert's skin. He used to do it by breaking as many rules as possible, magical or human, just to get a rise out of his friend. It was almost a game to Ethan. He would push the envelope until he was stopped. It was his idea to summon Eyghon in the first place. Initially, Rupert had wanted to summon a lesser demon, one who could have been easier to handle but would provide less power or euphoria. He was the one who had insisted on calling upon the Etruscan demon and in the end, Rupert had agreed despite his better judgment.



"The only thing I need to know is if you're going to leave Sunnydale now or do I have to make you." Giles walked from his place behind the counter, took off his glasses and stood menacingly in front of Ethan. Ethan's mere presence always meant that something untoward would occur and more often than not, it would affect him or his charges and Giles would not let that happen again. "You're not welcome here." He repeated for good measure.



"Come now, Rupert, don't you think I've suffered enough?" Ethan was slowly tracing the scar on his cheek. He was tying to keep his voice modulated and calm. He didn't want to show any anger or malice just yet since he needed to convince Rupert that he was harmless. "Those military people you handed me to really ensured an end to my magic and any and all mischief." The truth of that statement made him pause and he could not hide the bitterness in his voice that flowed through.



"A chip?" Giles knew that it shouldn't have surprised him but Ethan was human and he though would not have been subjected to any of the experiments despite being incarcerated by Riley's special unit. He had never approved of the behaviour modification techniques practiced by them. Even though the presence of Spike's chip did benefit their cause, he knew it was done not for their own good but as an experiment to see if it was possible. From what Ethan was indicating, they had not restricted themselves to demons but experimented on any living thing that they did not comprehend. It sent a small shudder up his spine. He didn't like Ethan but he would never have allowed it to happen had he known and would have just contacted the Watcher's council instead. "I…I didn't know."



Ethan looked curiously at him, Rupert actually looked aghast and sorry about the situation. However, that didn't change a bloody thing. The reality of the situation was that he had been handed over to butchers and he wanted his revenge. "Would it have stopped you if you did?" he couldn't look at Rupert, the horror on his face was almost palpable and Ethan needed to get what he came for, so he slowly strolled around the shop and continued, ignoring the question he had asked before. "Doesn't matter now, really. You got your wish. I can't use any of my magic any more. It's like it doesn’t exist. At least I should be grateful there is no pain." He hid his smile as he saw Rupert wince at his words.



"You turned me into a demon and I almost got killed. Forgive me for not sympathizing with you." Despite his present predicament, Giles would not allow himself to forget what Ethan had done in the past. He was still a ruthless person and the presence of the chip did not change that. "It may have been a mistake to turn you over to the military but you had to be stopped. They're gone now, and won't be coming back."



"So Ripper, the end justifies the means, eh? I guess, I should have expected that. And to answer your first question, I'm just passing through. I just thought it only polite to stop by and say hello to an old friend since we don’t have that many left anymore." It was partly true, he didn't plan to stay longer than necessary. All he wanted to do was to make Rupert hurt, if not directly, then indirectly by hurting those he loved and cared for. In this case, Warren had already given him the target. It was then that he noticed the old journal lying on the counter. It too brought back memories. It was the book that had brought Rupert into his circle of friends and it was the lure of magic that had kept them bonded despite their inherent differences. "That does bring back old memories…fun times." indicating to the old book, Ethan didn't really have to try for his wistful tone, it had been fun and exciting when they first started. Then the power became too enticing and the friendships fell to the wayside.



"Never stopped you from trying to kill your friends… Leave…just leave, before I change my mind about beating you to a bloody pulp or before Buffy finds you here." Giles could see that Ethan had suffered for his acts and decided to just get him out of Sunnydale. They had more important things to worry about and they didn't need an added distraction in the form of Ethan. Despite his abhorrence of the way Ethan had been experimented upon, Giles knew that with the chip, Ethan was more or less harmless and he didn't have to warn Buffy and the rest about his presence. "I'm late for a birthday celebration" Giles grabbed the book off the counter and a one of the store bags. He didn't want to waste any more time with Ethan than necessary but was taken aback to see Ethan step into his path instead of leaving.



"I'm surprise you don't even have time for a farewell drink. Granted you're probably never going to drink with me after the last time… Although, you did make a good Fyarl demon." Ethan noticed Rupert's almost raised hand and decided it was time to stop goading him. "Planning to give the witch the book are you? She must be special. Keeping it all these years only to give it away now…" It was a good guess but not a major stretch as if Rupert really considered the young witch special. It was an obvious birthday gift. He knew he was right when instead of hitting him, Rupert's eyes widened at his words. It wasn't much information but at least it indicated that she means a great deal to Rupert. The journal represented many things, not all of them good, but it was also something that Rupert considered precious.



"She is special, she understands and respects the magic and her powers and is willing to teach others too. She's been teaching Willow... It's really none of your business is it? I'm going to do you one last favor and let you leave unscathed. It's more that you would have ever done for me. Leave tonight and don't come back. " Giles looked on as Ethan turned away and walked towards the door. He almost felt sorry for the man but knew that in the end Ethan had brought it upon himself. However, Giles swore that if Riley ever passed through, he would hit the man on principal. So intent was he on staring Ethan down and making him leave that he almost missed the phone ringing. Without breaking eye contact, Giles reached blindly for the receiver. “Yes…Ah…Buffy. Sorry, I was held up. In fact, I was just on my way out. No, of course I wouldn’t miss Tara’s birthday... Yes, I do have a present and yes, it’s kind of magical…uh ah, yes…Is Tara alright…and Willow? Well she does love Tara a lot if she did that…I understand. Yes, they are both rather special. Tell Willow to save me some cake and I’ll be there shortly. Just need to lock up.”



Rupert had not said a lot but what he did say was enough. There were two witches and Willow was the one he needed, the one who needed help with respecting magic. Better still was the one-sided telephone call. From what he could gather, Tara was the other witch and she and Willow were probably an item of sorts. That was incredibly useful. He could still fell Rupert’s eyes on him as he gave a mock salute and turned to the door. There was no need to say anything else so he pulled opened the door and walked back into the cold night. He didn't look back to see if Rupert was watching or if he had also gone on his way. His mind was busy mulling over what he needed to do. Warren had already promised him the use of the Christos Pandect and he knew the spell that was needed. He had learnt more than he had expected to from Rupert and that was a bonus as he had visited the shop, only to make contact and to ensure that Rupert knew who was responsible after he had made his move. All he needed now was to lure the witch away and ensure she used magic on him.





----------------------------------------------------------------------------------



"You got someone else?" Jonathon didn't know whether to feel relieved or frightened. From what Warren was saying, there was a new member in the mix and one who was skilled in magic. It seemed like a way out for him now. All he needed to do was to take his share of the money they had stolen and leave. It was too good to be true but here was the solution he had been hoping for. "And he knows magic right?" Warren had to let him go now, they didn't need his strengths anymore, especially not if this new guy possessed all the powers Andrew was bragging about.



"Ethan's cool…He worships Chaos and remember that one incident three or four years back when our parents all turned really weird and started acting like…well, us? Ethan said he was responsible for that. Would have gotten away with it as well, if Buffy hadn't interfered." Andrew couldn't wait to lord it over Jonathon. He had met up with Ethan and Warren at a bar last night and they had spent the time going over Ethan's past exploits as well as their current ones. Warren had wanted to prove that he was really on his way to taking over Sunnydale and had hinted about his overall plan and how in the end, he needed the blood of a Slayer. All in all, it proved to Andrew that he was more important than Jonathon and that Ethan had been brought in as a replacement.



"So what's he going to do?" Jonathon almost instantly regretted asking the question. Truth be told, he would have rather not known the plan. That way, he didn't have to feel guilty if Buffy or any or her friends got hurt. He just didn't want to know anymore. Andrew had been trying to drop hints about Warren's big plan, the whole day but he didn't take the bait. If Ethan could replace him then all the better, he would just leave and try and forget some of the things he had done over the past few months. All he wanted to do now was to go to class again and maybe join one of the smaller fraternities or the AV club at the University.



"I thought I'd start with taking some of Willow's power, considering she has more than enough." Ethan's answer caused both Andrew and Jonathon to nearly fall off their seats. They had not expected his arrival or the ease in which that he had gotten passed all their security barriers. That led to the both of them scrambling for the panel of monitors hoping to catch the glitch in their system that had led him through. However, Ethan's next words put a stop to their mad frenetic movement. "Warren, thank you. The codes worked like a charm."



Warren smiled indulgently. He had provided Ethan with more than he had asked for and was sure that the older man was more than happy with the money and the respect Warren had given him. It wouldn't be a long wait now for Ethan to use his magic and get the slayer and her friends. It already sounded like he had a plan to take the witch's power. "Fine, what else do you need?"



These boys had made it so easy for him, they were playing with things they knew nothing about and had been lucky so far. They had not been exposed to the Slayer's real wrath or Ripper's for that matter and still thought they were so brilliant at planning and executing the Slayer's eventual demise. He didn't care about it one way or the other. He just wanted his revenge and for that, he needed magic, potent magic. More than what was in Rupert or the other member of the trio, the one they called Whinathon. He needed the magic that Warren described in Willow and for that, he did have a plan. "I would need an Arrakesh Crystal and the Christos Pandect."



Jonathon immediately went to fetch the book and crystal. They had stolen quite a number of different ones and he knew that he had at least two Arrakesh crystals. The sooner he handed them over, the sooner he would be free. He was smiling as he passed the artifacts over to Ethan and turned to leave. The only problem was that Ethan grabbed his wrist before he could turn away. He was too surprise to utter anything and just stood there transfixed.



"You’re not going anywhere. You're going to help me with the spell."



"But…I…I thought you didn't need…I was…I was just gonna go." Jonathon knew that both Warren and Andrew were looking at him as he tried to get his words out without sounding like he was scared out of his wits. He didn't want to have anything to do with the new addition to the group. Ethan's look and demeanor frightened him as much as Warren's blasé attitude towards killing Buffy and her friends. He was in over his head and no amount of money or clinging to the fact that no one had gotten seriously hurt so far, could change that. He looked at Warren and tried to sound surer of himself, hoping the quaver in his voice would not appear. "Looks like you don't really need me anymore right, Warren? I mean, Mr. Rayne's magic is way more powerful than mine…I just wanna go…"



It wasn't that Warren was so anxious to have Jonathon around. In fact, he had been planning of getting rid of the idiot as soon as he became a liability. However, he wanted to do it on his terms and he would not accept Jonathon just walking out on them. He still seemed to be useful, at least to Ethan and Warren could always use a scapegoat if the plan went awry. “Wait there just a minute, Shorty! We’re in this together remember? We started this and you’ll stay until it’s finished. This isn’t over until I say it is.” Warren looked back at Ethan and nodded for him to continue.



“There is a spell in the Pandect that allows the crystal to store magical energy.” Ethan could see Jonathon’s eyes narrow at his comment and before any questions could be asked and his weakness exposed, Ethan went on. “I could do the spell myself but that would mean it may negate the potency of the crystal when I use it on Miss Rosenberg. So if you please…the spell calls upon Heka. I suggest you brush up on your Middle Egyptian…” Ethan held the book out to Jonathon and smiled. A few years ago, the smile would not have invoked any sense of dread in its recipients. However, couple with his scar and closed cropped haircut, the smile seemed more sinister than anything and Jonathan looked away as he reached for the book once again.



“Well now, I think I could use a drink. Warren, would you be so kind to find me once the spell is done…In the meantime, it would also help to know Miss Rosenberg’s schedule tomorrow or perhaps a chance meeting could be arranged, hmm…”With that, Ethan turned to leave. He didn’t want Jonathon or Warren to further question why he didn’t do the spell himself or realize that after the spell was done, anyone would be able to use to crystal to attack the girl. However, he still had the upper hand, in order to obtain the power from Willow, he had to ensure that she would use magic. Since she had a problem with control and had a soft spot for another called Tara, he could use both to his advantage.









“Wow, you’re really a natural…you know except for the incident with the sidewalk driving bit.” Xander was trying to sound encouraging. It wasn’t too difficult as Tara was really trying her best and was a pretty good driver. It was just that he was taken aback at her boldness on the roads. She loved going fast and he was sure that some of her mutterings under her breath about certain drivers were not all thanking the Goddess but possibly cursing the drivers. He just hoped it wasn’t the literal kind of cursing. As for the sidewalk incident, he had to admit that Tara had only done so to prevent hitting a stray dog that had wandered into the street. “So what do you say to a peppermint mocha freeze as a present for obeying the speed limit, huh?”



Tara smiled and nodded. She didn’t want to take her eyes off the road as the last time she glanced at Xander for a second, she could see his eyes go wide and his furtive glances at the speedometer. Since then, Tara tried to keep to just below the speed limit and not take her eyes off the road. It was just that driving was an amazing feeling for her. It was more than just the convenience of being able to go to places, it was the feeling of being able to choose to go anywhere and get there on her own. She had forgotten what freedom like that felt like. Five years of being told what to do and being punished for one’s independence had made her forget or repress the feeling. Tara pulled up to a parking spot just before the Espresso Pump and turned to Xander. “Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.”



The words were softly spoken but Xander felt the sincerity behind them. He almost blushed because the lessons were a throwaway idea to him. He had just thought that they would be useful and that it would help. However, they seemed to mean more to Tara than that and he didn’t really know what else to say so he shrugged and smiled back. “I’m glad. I mean, I’m glad you like the lessons but I’m also glad you’re here for Willow and for us.” Tara’s party two nights ago really brought things into perspective for him. Xander finally realized that they had all made decisions over the past year, some good, some bad but they all heralded the fact that things had changed. He was for all intensive purposes, an adult. He was going to get married next month and with that came more responsibilities. He couldn’t keep living life one day to the next, hoping not to get hurt or die; he had to start planning. Despite his proposal to Anya, he always thought things would carry on as they were. He would still patrol with Buffy and order pizza for Dawn and Willow would always come over for ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’. But hearing Willow’s confession and her commitment to Tara made him realize that things had changed and he had to change with them. Willow still loved him and Buffy but she had moved on. She found the one thing that made her truly happy and complete and would do anything not to lose it. An added bonus to that was the fact that Tara was so nice and she had helped all of them in her own way. She had arrived after Buffy’s death and not only held Willow and Dawn together but in the end, she was also instrumental in bringing Buffy back. There had been so many changes in their lives and Willow had adapted with Tara’s help. Maybe it was time for him to adapt as well. He had made his choices and had to now take responsibility for them. He just had to stop being so afraid.



Tara could guess some of Xander’s thoughts. Like Willow, he too wore his emotions on his sleeve and she knew he was thinking about his impending nuptials. “Thinking about the wedding, huh?” Tara went to one of the tables in the back and motioned to Xander to sit down. He smiled as he did so, “You’re getting really good at that.”



At Tara’s raised eyebrows, he elaborated, “Willow used to be the only one and Anya’s getting good at it as well…you know…knowing what’s on my mind. Granted I’m no big brain but sometimes a guy likes to be all mysterious.”



“I wouldn’t know about what guys like but you’re kinda obvious. You always have this look when Anya’s talking about the wedding and you had it just now…It is better though, since you stopped flinching.” Tara smiled to lessen the sting of her words.



“You mean the ‘Dear Lord, I’m actually getting married and am totally scared stiff look’…or just the normal, ‘I hope I can still fit into my tuxedo pants despite all my nervous eating’look?” If it was that obvious to Tara, Xander decided that he might as well talk about it. “I don’t want to feel afraid, I mean I know how much of a good thing this is and I do want it…it’s just that it’s actually scaring me more that the past say…five or six apocalypses…si…ses, end of world stuff.”



Tara nodded at his admission as she could sort of relate to it as well. She loved Willow with all her being and that was kind of scary but not in a bad way as it was the good kind of scary. She smiled again as she thought of that. Only people who lived on the Hellmouth or had spent the past five years in a demon dimension could make distinctions like that. “It’s really ok to be afraid sometimes.”



“Is it?” Xander really wanted to believe Tara. She seemed so sure but to him, being afraid was not a good thing. It signified that maybe he was a coward or even worse, he didn’t love Anya enough. He had always equated being afraid with not being a man.



“Yes, because it’s the good kind.” She could see that she needed to convince Xander further as he wasn’t looking too convinced at accepting that sometimes it was just acceptable to feel that way; sometimes that was the only way you knew you were alive. “Like when I was in Pylea, I was afraid as well…but I knew that I was afraid that I was never going to make it back to Earth, that I was afraid to die there and no one would know of it or mourn for me.” Tara could see Xander nodding at that. “Then when I got back here, I was so afraid of so many other things as well…like if there was a demon in me or if I had a family who still wanted me and there was a time that I thought I would be paralysed by that fear…And if I had let it, I would have never opened up to Willow or I would have just gone on believing I was a demon. I didn’t mind being afraid of death but I didn’t want to be afraid to live.”



“So what you’re saying is that its ok to be afraid of death or weddings or clowns but it should not stop us from being afraid to live our lives.” Xander finally got it. It didn’t matter if he was afraid as long as he knew he was doing what he wanted and it didn’t stop him from wanting to marry Anya. As he at musing about his new revelation, the waitress brought over their drinks. It was such a small price to pay for some of the best advice he had ever received and he gladly handed over the money. Tara looked extremely happy with her beverage but Xander still thought it wasn’t enough. She had opened up and told him about her fears and even mentioned Pylea. Two things that, in his mind, took great courage. “You’re sure I couldn’t tempt you with a muffin or perhaps twelve…” Xander offered, wiggling his eyebrows.



“No, it’s ok. Willow’s meeting us at the shop later and I’m sure she’ll want to stop by here for a snack so I’ll just wait for her but thanks anyway and the mocha’s great and just what I wanted.” Tara didn’t want Xander to feel beholden to her. She really had not done that much except to point out that what he was feeling was normal or as close to normal that one could get considering the proximity to the Hellmouth.



“Ok but that only means that I get to buy you a muffin…or twelve the next time we have another driving lesson. Deal?”



“Deal.” Tara could see why Willow and Xander had been best friends for so long. Despite everything, he was a sweetie and she was happy for Anya. “We should get going soon, I want to help Anya with the new inventory shipment before Willow arrives.”



Xander thought it was a good idea too since he wanted to see Anya, not to help with inventory but just to tell her he loved her.





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Willow loved all her college classes and it was even better when there were surprise quizzes like the one today. She was sure she had aced it as it covered Fractal Geometry and that was a pet subject of hers. The day was going to get even better as she was currently on her way to the Magic Box. It wasn’t the location but a certain someone working at said location that made her all with the happy. She wanted to see Tara and learn about her first driving lesson as well as share her own news about her day at school. She knew that initially Tara was apprehensive about the disparity in their education. However, Willow never doubted Tara’s intelligence. In fact, one of the reasons she kept telling Tara about her classes and school was that eventually, she wanted to convince her to enroll part-time. Tara loved music and art and UC Sunnydale offered a lot of such classes. They would probably not have a lot of classes together but it would be nice to meet on campus and to be utterly selfish, it would give Willow a chance to sneak peeks at her love throughout the day without having to travel all the way to the Magic Box. That was the master plan in Willow’s mind; she just wanted to spend as much time with Tara as possible. It was always the foremost thought in her mind that unwittingly, her walking pace also quickened so that she would arrive at the shop earlier. So intent was she on thinking of Tara that she didn’t notice the man shadowing her movements from across the street. However, even if she did glance his way, she would have been hard pressed to recognize him.



Ethan didn’t know whether to be surprised or thankful that the idiot boys had actually come through with what they had promised. The crystal in his hand was practically humming and the witch was walking carefree across the road just as they had predicted. She had glanced his way about a street back but her gaze didn’t even stop on him and he knew she never even noticed his presence. But that was definitely about to change. He was going to taste the magic again and at the same time get back at Rupert and his Slayer. Life was going to get interesting again and it was about time it did. Ethan noticed the alley coming up just before the Cinema. He crossed over, knowing that it would be a good place for his little confrontation with the witch, so he called out. “Willow?”



Willow was more or less lost in her Tara thoughts as she made her way down Main Street. They were not many people about and those that were milling about outside the Cinema were about to go in for the matinee. She could feel her book bag bouncing against her thigh as she again quickened her pace. If she got to the Magic Box sooner, she would be able to see Tara sooner and her day would be more or less perfect. Only the sound of her name being called by an unfamiliar voice could cause her to stop and turn around. She knew it wasn’t a vampire as it was still light out and guessed that it was probably a fellow student from school, who wanted to borrow her notes or something. So she turned around and recited the excuse in her head that would allow her to extricate herself and arrive at the Magic Box within the next fifteen minutes.



“Hi…I’m kinda late for …I know you…” Willow’s voice trailed off as she tried to retrieve a name for the familiar face staring back at her. He looked different due to his close-cropped hair and the scary scar but she still recognized his features. It was the way his hand was holding the crystal that jogged her memory. She remembered the same fingers holding onto a gown in front of Buffy all those years ago. “You’re Ethan Rayne.” Suddenly realizing what that meant as well as the enormity of the situation, all Willow could do was to repeat her last statement in a louder and more incredulous tone. “You’re Ethan Rayne” The last time he had been in Sunnydale, he had managed to turn Giles into a demon and that had resulted in Buffy handing him over to Riley and his military buddies to ensure that he would never set foot in Sunnydale again. However, the fact that he was standing in front of her proved that that plan was not working out. She didn’t know whether to run or tell Ethan to make himself scarce as Buffy was probably still angry at him for making her believe Giles was a demon and causing her to eventually stab Giles. “I…you…You should not be here. Buffy is going to come along any minute and if she sees you…well, you don’t want her to see you. And…and when she tells Giles, he’s going to-“



“Buffy is currently busy at home with a social worker, I believe and as for Rupert, we had quite a nice chat yesterday…Before he had to toddle off to a birthday party, one I believe you invited him to…for Tara?” Ethan let the name hang there and was rewarded when he saw Willow react to the name. He knew now that all he needed to do was to push a bit further. “Nice girl, according to Rupert but-“



“Don’t.”



Now it was time for Willow to cut him off. She had been taken aback when he mentioned that he had talked to Giles the night before as Giles had not said anything when he turned up for the party. He had arrived just as Dawn was distributing cake and even before he sat down, he approached Tara and handed over the gift. Willow had been even more amazed when Giles motioned for her to join them as he explained the significance of the gift. He told them about the shop where he found it or rightly where the book had found him as well as the significance of the journal. It was quite a gift especially for a witch like Tara who understood the importance of magic and respected its history. However it was the blessing spell that he mentioned that caught her attention. Giles had not made a big deal of it but said in passing that apart for the historical link, the journal also contained a spell that might be of interest to the both of them. Later that night, Tara had read part of the incantation to her and it sounded like it had been written for them and she knew Tara wanted to try the blessing. Despite this, she still had reservations; not of her love for Tara but if Tara really would want to do the spell so soon after Willow’s confession. However, Tara never thought that way. She knew Willow had made a mistake but that still did not change the way her heart felt or the way she loved Willow, would always love Willow. To hear her name now, being uttered by someone like Ethan was abhorrent to Willow.



Ethan smiled when he noticed the catch in her voice as she cut him off. “Rupert did say you were close…” He continued to hold her gaze even as his fingers played with the small crystal, moving it dexterously across his knuckles and back again.



Willow didn’t believe for a second that Giles would have told Ethan anything about her or Tara but the fact that he knew about the birthday celebration and Tara’s name was not a good thing. His smile was also quite unnerving as it brought attention to his scar more than anything else. That was why she looked down and noticed the crystal he was playing with. “Giles wouldn’t tell you anything so you’re wasting your time in convincing me otherwise.” Willow wanted to sound sure but she knew that her voice carried a note of uncertainty.



“Well then, I’m sure you wouldn’t believe me when I tell you that you were also a big part of the conversation…Hmmm…what was Rupert’s exact phrasing…I think it was along the line of magic control issues. But I guess he only brought that up because it was a problem that he thought I had as well… Our old Rupert can be a bit self-righteous if you ask me…”



“Yeah…I mean no. We’re nothing alike and Giles is fine the way he is.” Willow was feeling more and more agitated. She knew rationally that Ethan was playing some sort of game with her but his knowledge and the fact that he probably did meet Giles and that Giles had not said anything was adding to her apprehension and anger. She knew how dangerous Ethan could be and the fact that he not only singled her out but knew of Tara made her angrier. “I’m only going to say this once…leave now and I’ll tell Buffy and Giles about you in an hour. That way you get a decent head start or…”



“Or? Couldn’t exactly finish that sentence could you. It’s not like you can do anything, not like you can do magic. If I’m not mistaken, you’ve been asked not to…So I guess if I do want a demonstration, I’d be better off making my way to the Magic Box again. Maybe Ta-“



“Enough!” Willow shouted. She didn’t want to hear Tara’s name coming from Ethan and she could feel her anger inside of her building up and transforming into something else. Willow took a deep breath and reached out to feel Tara’s presence, always surrounding her; following her. She needed to calm herself as she could feel her anger changing and wanting to lash out and react to Ethan’s words. She did not want that to happen and concentrated on feeling for Tara’s calming presence. In addition, instead of looking at Ethan’s hideous smile, she again concentrated on the crystal he was playing with. Willow let out a small sound of surprise as his hand suddenly turned over and instead of holding onto the crystal, he flipped it with his thumb and sent it sailing in her direction. Acting purely out of instinct, Willow involuntarily reached out and caught the crystal as it arced it way towards her. It was light but warm in her palm. However, she could tell that the warmth did not come from it having been held but instead from within. It was then that she realized that it was an Arrakesh crystal and even before she could will her hand to turn over and drop it, the crystal began to glow. Willow could feel the magic in her begin to gather even as she fought desperately to contain it with the help of Tara’s calming strength.



Ethan watched calmly as the woman before him fought against the power of the crystal. He knew that she could not win but was amazed that she was putting up a fight at all. In most cases, the magic user would be rendered almost catatonic from the moment they touched the crystal. Even Jonathon had not been able to stay by the crystal for any length of time after he had activated it with the spell. He had convinced the trio that his power surpassed even the crystals and that enabled him to handle it. Here, Ethan’s own lack of magic was the only thing that allowed him to play with the crystal and in turn lull Willow into thinking it was harmless. He could tell that she was still fighting the pull of it as her body shook and beads of perspiration formed on her upper lip and temple. He finally realized that she was probably calling upon her bond with the to her witch but overall, he knew that it would be futile. Like a black hole swallowing light, the crystal would suck out as much magic as possible in the shortest amount of time. It would not kill but it would incapacitate.



Willow felt as though she was being pulled from the inside out. The intense sharp pain that was radiating from within made her want to cry out and it was only the fact that she could hear Tara in her head telling her to hold on, that made her stay silent and concentrate on not letting her magic flow out. However, the pain was getting more intense and Tara’s voice was getting dimmer. Little by little, Willow could feel the magic trickling into the crystal. She tried to hold on, sending up prayers to the Goddess and focusing on Tara’s fading voice and presence but the pain was too great as was the pull into oblivion. Before Willow blacked out, she felt her magic unleash and at the last second, as hard as she tried to break her connection with Tara, she felt it flow there as well.





Tara and Xander had arrived at the shop and were immediately put to work in sorting out the new inventory that had arrived. Xander was in charge of lifting and carrying the big boxes to the basement and Tara was in charge of entering the descriptions and prices of each new item into the computer which Giles had reluctantly agreed to have and which Willow had set up. Anya was incredibly pleased that Tara was as good with numbers as she was, although she decided that they still had to work on Tara’s commerce instincts. Overall, sales at the shop were increasing and with the wedding next month, she didn’t have time to worry about anything else. Anya knew that Giles, Buffy and the rest were worried about the unknown threat they were facing and she was too. It had impacted her directly when they stole from the shop but more than that, it was making Xander nervous. At least Anya hoped it was the big danger in Sunnydale that was making him nervous and not their impending wedding.



If she was still a vengeance demon, it was have been so easy to make the whole thing just go away and then go off with Halfrek for a tête a tête. However, she was human now and therefore had to deal with these emotions. Luckily Tara was there to be the voice of reason and hopefully assuage her fears. Anya knew that Tara had just had her first driving lesson with Xander and that it had all gone splendidly. Even better, the both of them had arrived smiling and happy with mochas for everyone. However, most telling that something had occurred was the words that Xander had whispered in her ear before kissing her again. He had said ‘I love you, despite my flaws and problems, always know I love you’. It was exactly the thing she needed to hear but Anya still wanted reassurances from someone and so she turned to Tara.



“Ok, I know it is customary for us to partake in small talk before I slyly segue into my real problem but since I am new to this and you’re very understanding, can I just ask if Xander is ok with everything now or do I have to postpone the wedding which would be difficult if not impossible as invitations have already gone out and I have a very nice white dress?” Anya managed to say everything in one breath and was now looking anxiously at Tara.



Tara was caught by surprise with Anya’s question, not because she wasn’t expecting it but she thought that it would be like her talk with Xander. That they would work themselves up to the crux of the matter slowly and not just jump straight to it. However, Anya had cut straight through and just wanted to know the outcome. Tara looked over and could see Anya’s anxious face. She was wringing her hands and her posture tense. “You should breathe now and it’s fine. Xander’s fine and the both of you should just talk about it. You love each other so much and that’s the important thing. I think he realizes that and so do you….” Tara wanted to say more but she suddenly felt uneasy, like something was not quite right. Immediately following that, she felt Willow trying to connect with her. It was as if Willow was trying to bridge the physical distance between them and was reaching out, almost desperately. She knew that Willow wasn’t in danger but she could feel Willow’s need and therefore sent out her own thoughts and feelings in order to calm the red head down and lead her home.



“Tara?” Anya was extremely happy to hear Tara’s soothing words but they had not continued and currently, she was just standing there, swaying slightly, her hands gripping the side of the counter and her eyes closed. Anya hoped she wasn’t having a seizure or falling sick. She didn’t need an angry Willow telling her that she was working Tara too hard. “Tara, maybe you should sit down and maybe the next time, we’ll start with the small talk, you know weather and how the Dow Jones is doing.”



Tara smiled at Anya’s words and decided to take her advice. She could feel Willow reaching out and the contact was becoming more apparent such that she could feel Willow’s low-level apprehension. Since it was still light out, she knew that it wasn’t a vampire threat and she just hoped that it was just Willow wanting comfort because she didn’t ace a pop quiz. “Sorry for spacing out there. I just felt…I just felt Willow and I guess she just wanted to know that I’m here. It’s just that I guess I’m more tired than I thought and our connection is kinda fuzzy. Anyway, she’s pretty near and should be here soon.” Tare took a deep breath and slowly made her way around the counter and gratefully took Anya’s hand. Her connection with Willow was fading but that could be due to Willow realizing how it was affecting her and therefore clamping down on it. She tried to reach out as well but it was as if there was something interfering with their bond. Tara didn’t want to jump to any conclusions since it could be something as simple as a flu bug.



“Well, you should just sit down then, missy. I don’t want wonder witch to think I’m over working you and change me into a toad or something.” Anya took hold of Tara’s arm, leading her to their research table. It was then that Tara felt it, the unmistakable pull of Willow’s magic building up. Tara unconsciously tightened her grip on Anya’s arm and concentrated on calming Willow and trying to stop the magic flow. The power and strength of the magic building up frightened her. Even through their hazy connection, she could feel its draw. It was as if Willow was about to cast a very big spell but deep down, she knew that it was impossible. Willow had promised to stop casting not because Tara had forbid her too but because she wanted to learn control first. However, Tara could not deny it any longer, Willow was nearby and she was channeling big magic, so big that Tara could feel it through the haze and uncertainty. The only thing that did not fit into the scenario was that Tara could feel Willow trying to fight back as well. It was as if Willow was reaching out to her not because of the magic but because she wanted Tara’s support in keeping it at bay. Regardless of the reason and her own insecurities, Tara complied with Willow’s amorphous request and sent her love as much strength and courage as possible. Tara also tried to ascertain Willow’s whereabouts as well as her well being. From what she could make out, Willow was indeed close by and she was in some kind of pain. Tara didn’t feel anything at first as Willow had done her best to shield her from it but as Willow grew weaker, Tara felt the cold, sharp pain that was surrounding Willow and at the same time, she could feel some of her own magic trickling through their connection. Slowly, she realized that it wasn’t Willow calling upon her magic but an external force. So intent was she on picking apart her new revelation that she didn’t acknowledge Willow desperately trying to break their link. Tara still hung on and because of it was hit by the psychic backlash as Willow’s raw magic was unleashed. She didn’t even realize that she had screamed out Willow’s name as she tumbled out of Anya’s grip and fell unconscious, hitting her head on the side of the table that she was being led to.



Anya could feel Tara’s whole body tense as if she was fighting some internal battle. She had seen things like this before and knew that whatever was going on, the only thing she could do was offer a small prayer up to any and all gods and just be there in case Tara needed more help. She was still slowly leading her to the table when suddenly Tara screamed out, startling her. “No…Willow…no…” The regret and fear in Tara’s voice was enough for Anya to call out for Xander and Giles, even as Tara’s body went rigid and slumped over. Her forward momentum caught Anya by surprise and she was too late in stopping Tara’s head from hitting the side of the table with a dull thud.



“Xander!!!, Giles!!!, please…something bad has happened!”





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Edited by: Warduke at: 11/25/02 8:53:16 am


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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7c
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2002 8:42 am 


Hi jomarch, hope you're keeping well.



I really liked Giles reflecting on how happy Willow is with Tara in her life. I've always seen Giles as a parental figure to the Scoobs, so his approval is lovely.



Strange to have sympathy for Jonathon. He really doesn't want to be involved in Warren's plans any more, but because of Ethan's impotence (heh) he'll still be needed.



Our poor Willow trying so hard to fight against using the magic. Looking forward to seeing how this will be resolved.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls



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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7c
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2002 10:04 am 
really enjoyed the update :)



i liked Giles reminicisng about his past, and his gift to Tara and Willow. so now Ethan not only has some of Willow's magic, but because of the connection between Willow and Tara, does he also have some of Tara's magic also?

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!
No! Well, okay. No. Pez!
2nd place? That's just a fancy term for loser!









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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 8a
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2002 12:24 pm 
Very emotional update! Glad to see it back.

Poor Willow, and the way you went through her thoughts about the magic, excellent.

BV

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin



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 Post subject: Re: ohhh, Feedback
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2002 1:24 pm 
Heh, of course people are still reading this... good things come to patient readers :D



I so do not feel sorry for Ethan :rage , whatever the Initiative did to him. For all I care they could have killed him, wouldn't bother me. It's not like he is EVER going to change now is he ?



I was suprised Willow (a) didn't recognize the crystal earlier or (b) didn't drop it, granted she did catch it and it got *some* power of her, but what exactly stopped her from dropping it? It read like she had plenty of time for that.



Heck, I would definitly NOT stop to talk with Ethan... just keep on walking to the Magic Box where lots of friends are. Esp. if you want to avoid casting (which is basicly Willow's only defense) you best run away from potential danger as opposed to talking with it.



Suprising that Tara didn't sense Willow being in trouble much but only her magic building up... that was a dissappointment actually :( . I kept waiting for that to happen when Tara was in the magic shop, but it took her forever to figure out, damn..damn..hope she didn't hurt her head too much.



Willow in trouble is definitly not fun to read :cry .



Giles better feel very guilty about not mentioning Ethan :rage . Always the same problem with not telling people things... seems the scoobs NEVER learn that lesson..*sigh*.



So there is a crystal that needs to be destroyed, lets get to it. I disagree with Jonathan being anywhere near good btw. Who gave the crystal to Ethan, huh ? Jonathan is just to weak to get out, that does not make him good.



Could we at least kill Ethan this time around ? Nasty habit that, leaving enemies alive. I wonder if Ethan can handle the stone now that has magic stored inside, if Jonathan has to handle it he's in way over his head.



Ah well, I do hope the next update will be faster since this is kind of an evil cliffhanger and such :D



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine



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 Post subject: Re: ohhh, Feedback
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2002 10:18 pm 
I finally caught up with this story enough to give feedback. I like how you've woven Tara back into the story starting from Pylea, but events are approaching dangerously close to those of season 6. Ethan makes an interesting addition to the Trio, giving them the experience that could make them really dangerous to the Scoobies.

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."



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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7c
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2002 5:52 pm 
ooh, unexpeted twist, Ethan coming back to complicate things. I hate that Tara got hit but that might be the only way to get Willow back. Plus she knows Willow was trying to hold on.

-------------------------------

Buffy?

Let's change it, the Discovery channel has koala bears.



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 Post subject: Sorry for the delay
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2003 10:24 pm 
*mollyig* - I am keeping very well, thank you. Just extremely busy with work and some travel and doing up the baby's room and oh yeah...trying to write this as well :grin .

Giles is the ultimate parent and I love seeing/writing him that way. As for Jonathon, I agree with you that it is difficult to hate him.



*Grimaldi*- Glad you liked the update. And yes, you're right about Ethan taking some ofTara's magic as well. I love imagining what Giles was like in the past and if Ripper is ever made, I would definitely watch it.



*Barnabasvamp* - I'm glad to have updates to post. It's definitely an extremely busy time for me but I do enjoy writing this. Thanks :)



*Grimlock72* - Thanks for being incredibly patient then as the next update took longer that I thought it would.

Ethan can't really change. I guess he will always be the anti-Giles :) . Willo probably did recognize the crystal but it's effect was immediate so she could not do anything. I also think that she was trying to shield Tara which is why Tara did not sense Willow's predicament until later. Maybe it was not the right thing to do but Willow would definitely choose not to put Tara in danger if she could help it. Anyway, I hope the next update will answer most of your questions :) .



*darkmagicwillow* - Thanks for reading:clap . It's always nice to know new people are. I am trying to parallel some of season 6 (and some earlier seasons) but I am also trying to add my own spin on thnigs. I really didn't like how S6 turned out.



*xita* - Yes, Ethan should be in every season :) . Don't worry too much, Tara should be ok especially if Willow is there and vice versa.

-----------------------------




You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall


And Death shall have no Dominion



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 Post subject: Ch 8c
PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2003 10:27 pm 
Spoiler Warning - It starts from Seeing Red and then completely veers off in all kinds of tangents.

Disclaimer - All characters, names and some dialogue etc belong to ME and Joss Whedon. However, due to improper usage and gross mishandling of characters and plot lines by aforementioned parties, it is with great pleasure that I (and all the other writers on the board) use them for the reading pleasure of kittens everywhere.

Rating - PG again

Feedback – Considering there was quite a break between postings, it would be nice to know that people are still reading…



Title : I Dream of Thee



Chapter 8c



She knew she could do this, she had fought Demons and came through victorious. Apart from that, the world was still in existence because she had managed to avert several apocalypses. However, all those memories paled in comparison to what she was facing now. Doris Kroger was a monster and she had set her sights on Dawn. The call had come last night and had taken all of them by surprise. Ms Kroger made it sound as if their case had suddenly been red-flagged and it was imperative that the meeting take place the next day, in fact she had insisted on it. Willow had class but she could see Buffy’s worry and had volunteered to skip it. Likewise, Tara was going for her first driving lesson but had also volunteered to stay at home. However, Buffy remembered her vow to start living again and therefore decided that she could handle the meeting alone just as long as everyone helped clean the house and that someone helped prepare food for Dawn. With that done, all she had to do was wait.



Buffy’s patience was wearing thin but she knew that the meeting was important. She just wished she had taken Willow’s and Tara’s offer up for moral support but she was the slayer and she thought she could handle anything; she had never been more wrong. So far, the social worker, had managed to uncover the fact that Buffy not only did not have a job or a place at UC Sunnydale but also her utter lack of cooking skills. Dawn had just come home from school for the meeting and in her panicked state, she had dropped the healthy snack Tara had made and kept aside for Dawn. So instead, she had allowed Dawn to have a few ding-dongs to tide her over until Willow came home and cooked something healthier. How was she to know that Doris was strictly opposed to giving teens processed sugar and that Dawn would eat five pieces, three of them in front of Doris.



“Well, see we don’t normally eat like this. Tara or Willow usually help out with the cooking when I’m out slay- …slaving and looking for a job.” Buffy finished lamely.



“So the both of you don’t live alone, there is help?” Doris looked down at her notes as she asked the question. As far as she knew, the Summers sisters didn’t have a live in guardian and it was the elder sister who had taken over the guardianship and care of the younger one. She was here to review if that decision had been a right one. So far, all she had witnessed was a shouting match about clothes that she heard as she was about to knock on the door and the unhealthy quantity and quality of snacks Buffy was allowing in the house and into her sister.



“Yes, Willow and Tara are the greatest witch-…um which is a good thing because I need good role models.” Dawn hoped that her slip wasn’t as obvious as Buffy’s slaying one.



“They are related to you?” This may not be too bad especially if these girls had some adult relatives staying with them; Perhaps spinster aunts of some kind who helped with the cooking and looking after.



“Not exactly. They’re friends, good friends…great friends…like family, definitely…Definitely family. Willow goes to UC Sunnydale and gets straight A’s and Tara works in one of the shops downtown. They moved in after I…after mom died and have been helping out ever since.”



“Oh!, so they’re your age. I’m sorry Miss Summers, I do know it’s been very difficult for you recently but I really don’t think that this may be the best environment for Dawn. I understand how it is with you young people and the boys and parties and how it may be difficult or you may forget to shield Dawn from that…” Doris again started writing in her notes. With the information she was gathering, it would be possible to at least start proceedings on finding a better or at least more stable home environment for Dawn.



“No boys!” Buffy’s voice was almost desperate and she tried to calm down before she continued. “I can so totally assure you that Willow and Tara are not going to bring boys here and I’m really not looking for another bad boy um…like guy…um. Listen, I know I’m young and currently unemployed and looking all kinds of flaky in your book but I love my sister and will do anything to ensure she’s taken care of.” To people who knew that Buffy was the Slayer, the admission meant a lot. She had fought a Hellgod to prove it and had sacrificed her life in the process.



However all Doris Kroger could see was a young woman with no visible means of support and an even younger girl in danger of neglect. “Even if that means giving up your guardianship?” she challenged.



“What?…But I love Dawn…and I promised my mom, I swore I would always take care of her.”



“And I want to stay here with Buffy and Tara and Willow.” Dawn was beginning to panic as well. All the social worker had done was to take notes of the supposedly bad stuff she thought was going on. She had thought this would have been like the visit right after her mom had died. The Social Worker then had been nice and commended Buffy on taking on such a responsibility and reassuring Dawn that she was indeed lucky to have an older and responsible sister. There was no mention of being taken away



“I understand but loving someone and ensuring what’s good for them can be two separate things. I can see that you do love your sister but my job is to ensure that she is brought up in an environment that is stable and-“ The front door being flung open and the curses from the figure underneath the smoking blanket made Doris stop short and just stare at the new arrival.



“Bloody hell in a hand basket! I have so got to stop using the front sewer tunnel.” Spike had heard from Dawn about the Social worker’s visit and thought that perhaps he could come early and help tidy the place up or at least give Buffy some support. She was great at handling all kinds crises and the like, but outside from her circle of friends, Buffy never came across really well. Unfortunately, he didn’t have a watch and therefore misjudged the time and barged in at a most inopportune moment. He could see that now as he removed the blanket and faced an extremely pissed-off looking Buffy and a middle-aged woman who had nearly tumbled off the sofa in shock at his entrance. At least Little Bit was smiling, although her smile faded when she saw the looks on the faces of the other women there. “Well, I er…well, hello, I’m Sp..William.” Spike moved towards the sofa, extending his hand. He figured, he could either try and salvage the situation so that Buffy might at least give him a running start before she staked him or he could just walk out the door and let the sun take care of his demise.



“D-D-Doris Kroger, I’m Dawn’s soc-“ Initially, Doris was scared out of her mind by the disturbance but he seemed harmless and quite polite. In addition, he had such a nice accent and quite good manners despite his wearing quite a bit of leather.



“Social worker…yes, hard working lot you are.” Spike winked for good measure. All he had to do was make up for his stupid entrance and maybe Buffy wouldn’t kill him. “I’m just a friend of Buffy’s and Dawn’s.”



“uh uh…Miss Summers was telling me how there are not many boys around here or none acutally.” Doris was beginning to wonder about the new arrival. Despite his apparent politeness, he did barge in under a smoking blanket no less and she could tell he was not as harmless as he wanted to seem. No one who looked like that was.



“Yes, none at all actually, William is the, well, he’s Dawn’s English tutor. You know, Dawn’s been having trouble with English so what better way than to have someone…you know, English to teach her.” Buffy hoped it didn’t sound as lame to Doris as it did to her. She sent a pleading look to Spike, to play along with the charade. She only hoped it couldn’t get worse.



“That’s right...I’m the English tutor. I teach poetry at the Community College and was just helping Dawn get to know some of the Classics.” Spike’s tone became more formal as he cleared his throat and began to recite, “ For him there is but one time, the artistic moment; but one law, the law of form; but one land, the land of Beauty - a land removed indeed from the real world yet more sensuous because more enduring; calm, yet with that calm which dwells in the faces of Greek statues, the calm which comes not from the rejection but the absorption of passion.”



Both Doris and Dawn let out a small sigh and even Buffy looked impressed.



“Just a little Wilde…I am so sorry for intruding and I do know I’m late. There was a small bonfire next door that was looking to get a bit out of hand so I put it out. I think I may have singed myself.” Spike indicated to the discarded blanket, hoping his act was convincing enough to explain away the smoke. “Anyway, Ms Kroger, was it? Buffy didn’t want to disrupt Dawn’s schedule, which is why I’m still tutoring her today. I do hope that’s ok?” Spike smiled again for good measure.



“Um, yes, yes that’s good. I was just reiterating that Dawn does need stability.” Doris could only nod politely, as she was still thinking about the quote and the way he had recited the lines.



“Buffy does manage to provide that along with Tara and Willow. It’s like having three guardians all looking out for one person. I’d say Dawn’s lucky and I guess so are you…getting a simple case like this.” Spike stopped short of naming Buffy as one of the saints but hoped that what he had said would be enough to sway the woman from her initial observation.



“I guess. I still think that I’m going to need more proof that you are providing a stable and good environment for Dawn. “ Before Buffy or Spike could interrupt her, she continued, reading from her notes. “That means proper meals and curfews as well as proof that Dawn is doing well in school, although I don’t think English should be a problem.” she giggled as she shyly shot Spike a look.



“Of course, definitely. Just call me Miss Stable Clean Environment.” Buffy sounded relieved. She was amazed that Spike’s poetry and charm actually helped but she wasn’t going to complain.



“I’ll have to check back soon and I’d probably want to meet this Willow and Tara as well and I need a written update from Dawn’s Guidance Councilor at school.”



The phone had started ringing and with her luck, Buffy was almost sure it wasn’t good news so she wanted to get Ms Kroger out before Dawn answered it. “No Problem, I’ll set up a meeting with Tara and Willow and send you the report from school as soon as I receive it. I’ll get your coat now. Thank you so much for coming and if you need anything else, just tell me and I’ll arrange everything” Buffy quickly ushered her out. She could hear Dawn’s low voice as she answered the phone and her slayer hearing had picked up Dawn’s surprised gasp. She indicated to Spike to go and see about Dawn and at the same time maneuvered the social worker to the front door as unobtrusively as possible.



“Miss Summers, this is a serious matter. I was about to recommend that Dawn be removed as soon as possible but I can see that you are trying with the tutor and all. I will have to reassess the situation on a regular basis so you can definitely expect more visits from me.” Doris took her coat and was about to leave when she heard Dawn’s voice shout out for her sister.



“I…I have to go…It’s probably Dawn just wanting permission to spend the night at a friend’s house…of which I am not in favor of as it is a school night but I will still hear her out as any reasonable adult would. Thank you and bye.” Buffy leaned against the closed door and let out a big sigh of relief. This was one major disaster averted at least for some time, now she had to deal with another one by the sound of it. She rushed into the passage way where she heard Dawn sniffling.



“What’s going on?” She looked at Dawn who was sitting on the floor crying and looking stunned and at Spike who was on the phone, apparently talking to Giles.



“Buffy will find her. Just take care of blondie and when you can, come back to the house. Buffy’s here, I’ll tell her everything, just tell Monkey boy and the ex-Demon to stop worrying until we know for certain.” Spike hung up and faced Buffy. He didn’t want to tell her that Willow may have lost it or worse and he definitely didn’t want to mention that Tara was hurt. He couldn’t believe that the stupid Watcher had just blurted the whole thing to Little Bit. “Hey platelet…don’t worry…Spike and big sis are going to help fix everything.” Spike lowered himself to Dawn’s eye level and touched her forearm, as did Buffy.



“Fix what Spike?” Buffy wasn’t sure if she wanted to know but she couldn’t not know. It wasn’t a good situation either way.



Dawn looked up and she was the one who finally answered. “Something happened to Willow, something to do with magic.” Dawn spat out the last word as if it left a bitter taste in her mouth. “Anya said Tara felt it and she was really affected by it. She fainted and hit her head. She hasn’t come to yet but she said Willow was near the shop.” Dawn wanted to believe that both of the witches were fine but Tara was hurt and no one knew where Willow was.



“Spike’s right, Dawn. We’ll fix this. Willow was probably on her way to the Magic Box from Campus. I’ll just start there and take the same route. Spike you stay here and look after Dawn. I’ll find Willow and bring her back…Giles will bring Tara here?” Buffy asked the question as she raided her trunk for a small concealable weapon and put on her coat.



“As soon as she wakes up. It was just a bump on the head. Giles just wants to make sure she doesn’t need a doctor before coming over.” Spike had said there more for Dawn’s benefit than anything. “We’ll all be here when you get back.” He watched as Buffy walked out into the sunlight. He almost wished he could go with her. That he could be there to protect her back in case. This just seemed like another attack directed at them and Spike didn’t like the fact that with the two powerful witches out of commission and with his aversion to sunlight, it meant that Buffy was alone in this.





Buffy tried to remember Willow’s mantra as she began to trace her best friend’s route to the Magic Box. Willow had told her that when she had felt alone and frightened, she would repeat ‘Strong like an Amazon’ to herself five or six hundred times. Sometimes or at least recently, she had sometimes replaced ‘Amazon’ with Buffy’s or Tara’s names. She had not seen anything amiss on Campus and was now making her way down Main Street. That was when she noticed the crowd just before Sun Cinema. She didn’t have to see the scene to confirm that she had found Willow. She just hoped that Willow was alive and ok. She didn’t even care if magic was involved. If something had happened, she would help fix it whatever it was, just as long as Willow was ok, she just needed Willow to be ok. As she pushed her way through the small crowd that had formed, Buffy noticed that the alley looked like it had been through a small explosion. The trash cans along the side of the wall of the cinema were burning and the wall itself was scorched. Buffy finally saw Willow’s still formed sprawled on the asphalt. There was a young man hovering over her, his hand checking for a pulse.



“What happened here?…She’s a friend of mine. Does anybody know what happened?” The initial question was directed at the young man kneeling next to Willow’s inert form but on seeing his blank look, Buffy asked the following question in a louder voice, hoping someone in the surrounding group had seen something. Initially, all she could hear were some vague mumblings but an old lady finally shuffled forward and revealed what little she saw.



“There was a loud sound and light coming from the alley and then I heard a girl scream. She was like that when I arrived.”



“Was there anyone with her, anybody who may have hurt her?” To Buffy, the scene just didn’t make any sense. Willow may have used a spell and perhaps it may have gone awry like the time in the cemetery. However, Buffy was sure that if Willow had used magic, there had to be a reason, she could have been under attack by Demons or their unknown enemy and that would explain the scream. The only thing Buffy could rule out was that since it was still light out, it couldn’t have been Vampires, at least not the normal kind.



“I don’t know, there could have been someone, a man maybe… but all I noticed was that she looked hurt and I was trying to stop the bleeding.” The young man finally answered.



Buffy nodded her thanks as she knelt down n the other side of Willow’s still form. Her best friend looked immensely pale and the front of her shirt was soaked in blood. The only thing that was keeping Buffy together was that her slayer senses was picking up Willow’s faint heartbeat and that she could also see the pulse point in Willow’s neck. “Did anyone call for an ambulance?”



“Uh…ah…Buf-Buffy?…No…uh…no ambulance”



Buffy didn’t know that Willow was conscious as her eyes were shut but that new knowledge went a long way towards alleviating her worry.



“She said not to, that her friend would come along shortly.”



“Thanks, I’ll see that she gets to a hospital and thanks.” Buffy was glad to see that the small number of people who had gathered around had slowly dispersed when she arrived, leaving only the young man and old woman who answered her questions. She thanked the both of them. The old woman smiled and told her to take care of her friend as she left the alley. The young man was still unsure about leaving.



“I..erm, I’m Gary and are you sure you don’t need any help?” He was a nursing student at the university and the young woman who was hurt went to USC as well, as he regconized her ID clipped to the front of her bag. He therefore felt obliged to help . Furthermore, her friend didn’t really seem like she could handle supporting the hurt red-head by herself. However, he was totally proven wrong when she easily lifted up the hurt girl and politely refused any additional help from him. Growing up almost exclusively in Sunnydale, Gary knew all about the weird occurrences that would appear now and then and mostly at night. At least this one wasn’t too weird and there were no major injuries or neck ruptures. He was already late for his shift at the hospital so he too went on his way after seeing that the blonde girl was actually walking quite fast despite carrying someone who weighed as much as she did.



“Tara…I need…I need to see her, I can’t sense her, it’s all…I tried to shield her…to not put her in danger…I think, I’m not sure.” Willow was trying to enunciate each word slowly, her head felt as if something had exploded inside of it. She wasn’t even sure she was speaking out loud or even in English. Everything, her vision, hearing and senses were not functioning properly. However, most worrying of all was that she couldn’t remember what had just happened. She remembered coming to in the alley and smelling the burning mess there, as well as snippets of her day at school but other than that, it was all a blank. She had been so surprised by this that she didn’t even realize that there was something else missing beside a chunk of her memory. For the first time in a long while, she couldn’t sense Tara fully. That was why she refused to go to the hospital or let anyone call for an ambulance. Willow hoped that Tara or Buffy would come. When she heard Buffy’s voice and still could not get a better sense of Tara, she knew that something bad had happened to her and maybe to Tara as well. “Pl-please Buffy, we have to get to Tara.”



Buffy was trying her best to avoid being spotted by a lot of people. Willow’s whole front was drenched in blood and being carried by her was bound to draw attention. “She’s at the house or at least Giles was suppose to bring her there.” Buffy was still looking for the best possible route to take and therefore didn’t realize what she had just said. Only after Willow started struggling in her arms and repeating Tara’s name softly did she understand her small mistake. “Will…Willow she’s ok, something happened at the Magic Box and Tara knew you were in danger so I came looking for you and Giles is taking care of Tara, I promise. We’re all suppose to meet back at the house. Now, if you stop struggling, I’m going to put you down on that bench and give Xander a call to come pick us up. Ok?”



Willow nodded as she digested Buffy’s words. Tara may be hurt or worst and she knew that Willow had done something. It was just that she didn’t know what she had done. The worst scenario she could think of was that she had done a spell of some kind that went out of control and that Tara felt it and had been hurt by it through their connection. The little that she did remember did point towards something like that. She had felt the traces of magic when she woke up in the alley way and most telling of all, the pounding headache and nosebleed as well as the tingling sensation beneath her skin were all reminiscent of magic usage, dark magic. Willow felt like crying, she had screwed up and she didn’t know how or why. She wanted Tara to be there so badly but she knew that if she really did lose control then Tara was better off away from her, far away. Maybe, that was the lesson from her nightmares. Tara would get hurt because of her, the splattered blood on her was Tara’s and she would cause it to be spilled. Tara was the best thing that had ever happened to her but maybe she was not good for Tara.



“Willow?” Buffy reached out and touched Willow’s shoulder. She had managed to find Xander at the house and he agreed to pick them up. Tara was still unconscious but as far as Giles and Anya could tell, it wasn’t due to the head wound but seemed slightly more magical in nature. They weren’t unduly worried but wanted both her and Willow back before dark. When she hung up at the pay phone, she turned around to see Willow had drawn her knees to her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs. She was rocking back and forth and had her eyes closed. As Buffy got closer, she saw tears flowing from Willow’s closed eyes and could hear her repeat the word no.



“No,no…no,no,no…” Willow didn’t want to believe that she could be dangerous for Tara. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right. She knew Buffy was standing next to her and she opened her eyes and looked at her best friend. “Did I hurt Tara?”



“No…I don’t know… but I don’t think so…” Buffy wanted to shout a resounding no to the question but she didn’t fully understand what had happened. Her best guess was that Willow and Tara had been attacked by their new yet still unknown enemy. “It could be…Someone, some people are out to get me…us and maybe this is part of it.”



“You think?” Willow’s hopeful voice asked back. She never thought about that and it was worth considering. “Tara’s ok, right?” She asked again.



“Giles says she’s not hurt, it’s just that she needs time to recover.” Buffy was unsure if she should mention the next part but she didn’t want to keep anything from Willow especially since Willow would find out once they got back to the house. So she sat down next to her and put her arm around Willow’s shoulders. “Will…Tara’s unconscious. Anya thinks it’s magical and that she’ll wake up soon but she hasn’t yet.”



“I need to go to her, maybe I can…I need to be there.” Willow unsuccessfully tried to rise to her feet and only Buffy’s grip and voice stopped her from falling to the ground and crawling back to Revello Drive. ‘Xander’s coming, we’ll get there faster than me carrying you all the way or you crawling there.” It was then that they heard the car horn. Xander was on the other side of the road and signaled for them to stay put while he did a u-turn. Buffy knew that he must have broken a couple of speeding records to have gotten there so fast and she was glad he understood the urgency. She carried Willow to the kerb and deposited her in the back seat of the car. She quickly climbed in after her and Xander took off. She could see that he was worried about Willow’s state as he kept glancing back in the rear view mirror. Buffy gave a small shake of her head to stop any questions he had and they drove in silence, Willow’s hand tightly gripping Buffy’s.







Ethan felt extremely proud of himself. The crystal in his hand was so potent that he could feel his entire being reacting to the magic it held. Due to the blasted chip in his head, he had forgotten what a euphoric feeling it was just to feel the magic flow. Even though, he knew that the magic in the crystal wasn’t his own and that it wouldn’t last, it made him feel whole again, like his old self. He really didn’t want anyone to disturb him but unfortunately, Warren and his two minions were walking towards his table. At least he had already had two beers. They were American but he didn’t really have a choice.



“So, did you get it?” Warren’s eager voice cut through his nice alcoholic buzz and Ethan just nodded in reply as he opened his palm to reveal the slightly glowing crystal. Jonathon drew back instinctively even though the crystal was full now and couldn’t affect him any more and Andrew just looked on in awe.



“Like taking candy from a babe really.” Ethan had been thinking if he should just leave considering he had what he came for. In all his previous visits, the one thing that had always occurred was his failure to leave quickly, which then resulted in his capture by the Slayer or Rupert. He didn’t want to make the same mistake now and in his reverie, he didn’t fully listen to Warren’s babbling and only caught the last part of it, which he repeated in a questioning voice. “Kill the slayer?” Now that was something to think about. Instead of sneaking out of Sunnydale, he could very well leave with a bang. Killing the slayer would destroy Rupert and it would go a long way towards satiating his desire for revenge.



“With magic.” Warren continued on with his plan. They had tried to get rid of the Slayer with Demons and a small disorienting spell but all that didn’t work. What they needed was a full on magical assault. Warren didn’t trust Ethan as much as the old man believed. He had made Andrew and Jonathon research the crystal and what he found was of interest. The magic contained in the crystal could be used by almost anyone. It was like a little battery, a very powerful battery that could summon up high level spells. However, the more adept the person was at magic, the more complex or powerful a spell could be cast. Warren still needed Ethan and the only way to goad him into doing his bidding was to appeal to his ego or to his thirst for revenge. “Think about it…To go down in history as the one who killed the Slayer. Even better you don’t need your own magic…Wouldn’t it be rich if the Slayer and her pals were killed by Willow’s magic…”



Warren didn’t know it then but his off the cuff remarks hit a nerve. He had mentioned Ethan’s magic. Magic that he didn’t possess anymore and it was a trigger of sorts. It reminded Ethan that he was less of a person than he had been before. He would never be whole again. He needed restitution and Ethan finally realized that the only way to satisfy his need was payment in blood. Rupert and his brood were indirectly responsible for his predicament and therefore they were the ones who needed to pay. “Yes, getting rid of them would be just the right amount of closure for me. The Pandect…it has quite a few very destructive spells in there. I believe we could use one to our advantage, you did bring it along, yes?“



Warren nodded and could not resist asking. “The Slayer’s blood…?”. Luckily, he didn’t finish the question and it just seemed like he was egging Ethan on. He had collected all that was necessary for his own spell except for the Slayer’s blood and he was too close to fail now.



“Will be spilled…” Ethan knew of a number of spells that could just make people disappear or be removed from this dimension. However, like Warren, he wanted to see the blood. He didn’t want their deaths to be quick, he wanted them to bleed slowly. “The spell I need can probably be found in that handy Pandect you have…Combine it with the power in the crystal and by tonight, the Slayer and her friends will be dead. Now, all this planning has made me thirsty so how about another drink, huh boys?”



Warren was amazed that Ethan was as bloodthirsty as he was and anyone who could talk about death and destruction that easily deserved a drink. He was about to get up and go to the bar to order the drinks when Jonathon got up abruptly and started taking drink orders.



“I’ll…I’ll get the drinks. I guess it’s beer all around?”



“I’ll have a tequila sunrise.” Andrew really didn’t like the taste of beer all that much and if Jonathon was probably going to order a coke for himself, he might as well order something he could drink without wincing and a tequila sunrise sounded like fun and not too girly, he just hoped there wasn’t too much tequila in it.



Warren nodded at Jonathon’s question and smirked at Andrew’s order. This was how it should have been from the start, with Jonathon getting the drinks after he planned their future and solidified his own standing as a force to be reckoned with. At last, things were falling into place for him and it was bloody time.



Jonathon finally realized he was in over his head and considering how short he was, he knew he had taken too long to reach that conclusion. The only thing he knew currently was that he didn’t want Buffy’s death or any of the others on his head. He didn’t want them dead and he definitely didn’t want to even be a part of a plan to kill them. He knew what he needed to do, he just hoped that it would not be too late. There was a phone at the bar and he hoped that the big demons sitting around the bar would be enough cover for him.





The drive to the house took less than ten minutes but to Willow, it seemed so much longer. The only thing allowing her to remain relatively calm was that she was beginning to feel Tara again. She knew that her love was still unconscious but she could sense her breathing and it was enough for now. As soon as Xander stopped by the kerb, Willow surprised Buffy by scrambling over her and launching herself out the door. She was still weak and the momentum just caused her to sprawl on the sidewalk. Buffy knew how important it was to Willow to see Tara for herself so instead of admonishing her friend, she bent down, picked Willow up and made her way to the front door.



“I should stop making a habit out of carrying you because one of these days, Tara’s going to get jealous.” Buffy smiled as she kicked the door with the heel of her boot.



“I guess I should stop needing to be carried unless Tara’s around.” Willow knew Buffy was trying to help her and she was grateful to have her best friend acting like her best friend again. It went a long way in making Willow feel slightly better. However, in order for her to feel even remotely ok again, she would need Tara. She sighed with relief when the door finally opened and Buffy barreled inside. Buffy was about to run up the stairs when she heard Dawn say that Tara was in the living room. So, Buffy rushed in there and promptly deposited Willow next to Tara who was resting on the couch.



“Baby?” Willow could feel Tara in the back of her mind and just as important, she could see her love’s chest rise and fall with each breath she took. The only problem was that the blonde was still unconscious. Willow would have given up all her magic powers right there if Tara would only open her eyes. She needed to see Tara’s clear blue eyes and know that despite everything that had occurred, it was going to be all right as they were both together and alive. “Please, sweetheart. I know you can hear me and I know you’re tired and lost. Please just follow my voice, kay? Come back to me. Please.” Willow’s words were not said loudly but spoken with such a quiet passion that although Anya and Giles could not hear her exact words, they knew that it was the only thing that could get through the dark miasma surrounding Tara.



Anya was feeling afraid again. Everytime things looked to be on track, something would occur that would totally destroy any illusion that she had that being human meant controlling your own destiny. As a Demon, she always had the luxury of knowing her place and her job. As a human, each time she got used to something, it would change. Sometimes for the better but sometimes it would all go so wrong. She loved the good parts, like Xander proposing, having Giles as a boss and having Tara as her good if not best friend. However, she wasn’t sure if being human was worth the hurt she knew would be just around the corner. She wanted Tara awake and smiling for Willow’s sake as well as her own. She was so intent on just staring at Willow and Tara that she didn’t notice Xander’s entrance and only acknowledged his comforting presence when he reached out to take her hand and tell her that it would be ok soon as they were all there and more importantly Willow was by Tara’s side.



Tara was oblivious to her external surroundings. She was fighting internally against so many things. She was trying to remember what had happened and trying to feel the presence of her love and at the same time, she was praying that none of it had been a dream. She was surrounded in blackness, no light or sound and for all she knew, she was still in Pylea; chained, blidfolded and gagged, awaiting to be sold or worse. This time felt different from those dreams that had plagued her in Pylea. This time, she felt a presence surrounding her with love and strength and furthermore, she could hear a faint voice. It wasn’t loud but it resonated within and it gave he courage. Tara could feel her senses slowly awaken. She knew Willow was there waiting for her, Willow wasn’t a dream or figment of her imagination. Willow was her love and the one person who would always find her. Slowly, Tara opened her eyes and she was glad she could feel Willow’s hand tighten around her own. She didn’t have to say anything as she felt the rush of Willow’s relief, love and encouragement flood her consciousness and brought such a warm feeling to her heart.



Despite focusing solely on Tara, Willow could still hear the sigh of relief that the rest of the Scoobies let out as soon as Tara had opened her eyes. She smiled as she reached out and tenderly traced the side of Tara’s face with her fingertips. Then she bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead. Willow knew what was to happen next and the kiss was to fortify her own courage as much as to convince her heart that Tara was truly there. She didn’t turn around even when she heard Giles clear his throat and just waited for the inevitable question she knew she could not answer and though that did not frightened her as much as the prospect of losing Tara did, it was still a scary thought. It meant that she was dangerous and didn’t know it and it meant that she had hurt Tara.



“Willow, can you…can you tell us what happened?” Giles knew that he had to ask the difficult questions. Buffy and the rest were too worried about Willow and Tara to want to start with an inquisition of sorts. However, there was a new threat at large and Giles needed to know if it was an attack from the outside or worse, it had emanated only from Willow. He didn’t want to confirm that the sweet, brave and beautiful young woman before him could be dangerous but he had a duty to all of them and if Willow was truly a danger then he had to protect Tara and the rest.



“I…I…” Willow was starting to hyperventilate. She was trying so hard to recall what had transpired but all she could remember was the walk to the Magic Shop and then suddenly waking up in the alley behind the Cinema, feeling awful and alone. She knew that she had inadvertently done some magic. Or rather, she had channeled a huge spell that went out of control and ended up hurting Tara through their link. She didn’t know why or what made her do a spell and at this point, she was too scared to contemplate that her magic powers were truly beyond her control and any amount of training with Tara wouldn’t change that. If she said those things aloud, then she would have to face the fact that she couldn’t be trusted to be with Tara or the rest of her friends.



Tara could see the distress on Willow’s face and more importantly, she could feel Willow’s fear. It gladdened her heart that their connection was being re-established but she shunted that feeling aside and concentrated on calming Willow. To reinforce her support, she reached out with her other hand to cup Willow’s cheek. “It’s ok, Baby. We’ll find out what happened…You don’t have to do this yourself. You’re not alone.” Tara tried to sit up then but was still rather weak and was glad when Willow moved in to support her by sitting on the couch and letting Tara lean against her body. Tara wasn’t going to let anyone there blame Willow for what had transpired. She didn’t know the whole story but she did know that although Willow and her magic was involved, what happened to her and to Willow were not of Willow’s doing. “I felt Willow’s magic building up and I felt Willow fight against it.” Tara declared, her chin jutting out and her eyes glinting, daring anyone to contradict her statement.



Giles was nodding but he knew that that was not the end of Tara’s explanation. He just hoped that she had a good idea of what had actually happened and that whatever it was, Willow would accept it. Willow closed her eyes at this point. She was tired but it was more to shield herself from the look of disappointment she knew she would find on the faces of Buffy and the rest. Most of all, she didn’t want to see Tara looking so pale and knowing that she was the cause of that as well.



Try as she might, Tara couldn’t absolve Willow of her guilt just yet as it was too encompassing so she hoped that Willow’s brilliant mind would follow her train of thought and that Willow would believe in herself as much as Tara believed in her. “Buffy, what did you see when you found Willow? Was the place destroyed or was there anything weird around?”



Buffy wasn’t sure what Tara wanted to hear from her but she knew she had to be honest. She really hoped that Willow had not lost control of her magic and she hoped Tara knew exactly what she was going to say before she said it. “Well, I … the walls in the alley were kinda singed and the trash cans were on fire. Like there was a small explosion, I guess but nothing else there. No one there said anything about weirdness either.”



Tara was hoping for that description and she looked at Giles as she spoke her thoughts aloud. “The amount of magic I felt Willow channeling was enormous. More powerful than what I felt at the cemetery when she was fighting the Gnoraks so…” Tara knew that Willow was listening as well and she was happy to see that the red head’s eyes were opened and that she had a questioning look on her face.



“So where did the magic go?” Giles didn’t realize he knew the answer to that until he asked the question out loud. Then, he knew what most probably did happen and cursed out loud, “Bloody Hell!”



“Giles?” Willow was surprised at the outburst but if Giles was angry at her, she wanted to face his anger. She would not hide behind Tara.



“Ethan!” Giles spat out the name as he began to pace the length of the living room. Xander was as taken aback by his outbust as the rest and decided he needed more clarification.



“Er…Ethan as in evil ex-friend out to make our lives hell everytime he’s in town or new word in yet another language I don’t understand meaning bad, bad things.” Xander wasn’t sure which explanation he disliked less but as long as it meant that Willow had not unleashed her powers indiscriminately, it was an explanation he would accept.



“Ethan Rayne, He…he came to the shop yesterday. I thought he was finally harmless. The chip-“



“Chip?” Buffy was stunned that Giles had not mentioned Ethan’s visit, even to her. She hoped that it was more because he didn’t think that Ethan was a threat and not because they had drifted so far apart.



“Yes, ironically enough, the Initiative also chipped Ethan and he can’t seem to access his magic anymore.”Giles took off his glasses and polished them furiously. He wanted to reach out to Willow and apologize for not anticipating this happening but all he could currently do was to berate himself internally.



“But he could take Willow’s magic” Tara surmised correctly. “Sweetie, that must have been what happened…you didn’t lose control. I felt you try and fight it, I didn’t feel you try and control it like the last time. You were trying to stop it and not let it out even if it hurt you.”



Willow didn’t want to get her hopes up but that could explain it all. It would mean that she wasn’t a danger to Tara or to her friends. However, it also meant that Ethan had made her do a spell, something she could not remember. She saw the alley she had woken up in and felt the after-effects of channeling big magics but she could not remember the spell that Ethan had made her do. “The spell, I don’t…I don’t remember the spell.”



“Maybe because there wasn’t one.” Anya had heard all about Ethan Rayne from Xander and she recognized the type of person he was. Adding to that, she would have bet money that Ethan had probably hooked up with their current unknown foes. “If he’s in town and he met up with the people that stole the Christos Pandect, then it’s safe to assume that there wasn’t a spell and that he just drained Willow of her magic. Probably used a Murek stick or a variant of the Laros’mak spell or an Arrakesh crystal… which does explain why she doesn’t remember anything either.”



“So if there wasn’t a spell then Ethan has a whole lot of Willow power?” Xander was hoping he wasn’t right. He saw what Willow’s magic could do and the destruction it caused at the cemetery was not a good thing. He also realized that his tone and question had made Willow sigh and look even more guilty. “Sorry Will.”



“No, you’re right. I guess Ethan does have some of my magic and the question is what’s he going to do with it. “Willow was already making up lists in her head and most of the items were not comforting. She knew she wasn’t the most powerful wicca there was but knowing how drained she felt, she could ascertain that Ethan probably had taken enough magic to do a level six spell. That meant anything from portal openings to creating a fireball. She hoped Giles would have an answer for them or at least an inkling as to Ethan’s motivations. She could feel Tara’s hand slowly stroking her back, providing both comfort and a physical link and Willow just wanted to lean into it and blot everything else out.



Giles could see all of them looking towards him, expecting a solution or an answer to Willow’s question. He had stopped cleaning his glasses and not knowing what else to do with his hands, he shoved them in his pockets. “When he came to the shop, he seemed angry at not being able to practice magic anymore. It is likely he may just keep the power, know that it was near but not use it…or…”



“Or…he could decide to take revenge on you and Buffy for indirectly causing him to lose his power in the first place.” Anya bluntly supplied. The ringing phone stopped her further comments and left the group thinking about the two outcomes that could occur. Buffy had nearly wanted to just let the phone ring as all the people that were important to her were already assembled in her living room. However, she realized it could have been Doris Kroeger so she picked it up.



“So how do we decide what Ethan’s gonna do? If anyone has a crystal ball, It’ll be a good time to share it now…” Xander hoped they would find out the answer but the silent minutes that followed his question did not instill any confidence that they could divine Ehtan’s motivation or next step.



“He’s coming for us.” Buffy strode back into the room, arms crossed and a worried look on her face. She had nearly not recognized the voice on the other end of the line. The noises in the background and the whispering nearly made her hang-up. Only when Jonathon revealed his name and said that Ethan was going to kill them and he had the Pandect, did she accept the warning. She had wanted to ask more questions but Jonathon had said all he could and so she hung up.



“Who…how…huh?” Xander wasn’t sure if Buffy was answering his question but he knew when to trust her. He had put his life in her hands more times than he could count and if Buffy thought that Ethan was after them then he probably was.



“On the phone, that was…a friend…I think. Anyway, he said Ethan is coming for us and he’s going to use a spell from the Pandect. That’s the book that was stolen from the Magic Box, right? Well, do we know what harmful spells there are in there…Giles? Willow?”



Both Giles and Willow looked stricken. There were so many spells in the Pandect, any one of which could cause harm. Again, Tara could feel the crushing weight of guilt that Willow was bringing down on herself and knew that she had to stop it if they were to work together to protect the rest. There was no time to be mindful of privacy or boundaries. Tara closed her eyes and concentrated, focusing only on Willow. When she opened her eyes, all she saw was Willow sitting cross-legged in front of her. They seemed to be on the vast bed in their room but Tara knew that in Willow’s mind, that was where she felt safe. Tara had managed to go into Willow’s mind. As she entered, she sent out thoughts of love and protection and she was glad to see Willow’s image, looking tired but recognizable.



“Hi Baby, I know we’ve never done this but you need to calm down and focus. I think Ethan is going to use your magic to hurt Buffy and the rest and we need to protect them. I have a plan.”



Willow wasn’t surprised when she suddenly found herself pulled into her own sub-conscious. She remembered starting to panic and the feeling of guilt pour over her like thick sludge and then her consciousness was suddenly focused on Tara or a form of Tara, sitting opposite her on their bed in their room. Willow knew that it was taking place in her mind and she was surprised that Tara had initiated it but she trusted the blonde and listened as Tara outlined her plan.



Anya was the first to notice that both Tara and Willow had gone silent and still. She quickly moved to their side as she was worried that it was another attack. However, she noticed that they were both breathing normally and Tara’s hands were encircling Willow and she was whispering under her breath. They probably wanted some privacy and were comforting each other through their special connection. She reached out to stop Buffy when the slayer, who had also noted the witches strange behaviour, moved forward. “It’s ok, I think they’re in a trance or something.”



“Well, they should snap out of it soon, we need to get out of here or at least get most of you to a safe place before Ethan comes.” At least now, they knew what threat they needed to face. Buffy was surprised that Jonathon knew about it and was involved but at least he had warned them. She knew he wasn’t acting alone and by the end of the night, she hoped to find all the people that were responsible for giving them so much trouble since she returned. “No arguments.” She snapped as she saw Dawn and Xander about to protest. “Ethan was dangerous before but now…now he has some of Willow’s power and some pretty dangerous spells.” She saw Giles nod at her statement and wished for once he didn’t agree with her.



“There are a few spells that can create a lot of damage…fireballs, small earthquakes, blasts of pure energy. I guess if he is coming here, he would try and destroy the house with us in it. We could try a protection spell but that would mean harnessing more power than what Ethan currently possesses…” Giles didn’t want to finish that thought as he knew that Ethan had drained a lot of Willow’s magic which meant that Willow was possibly too weak to perform any protection spell for herself, let alone the whole house.



“Then that’s what we have to do.”



Initially, Giles had assumed it was Buffy’s words, but when he looked at her and saw her looking in the direction of the sofa, he understood that the words had been uttered by Willow. He had not recognized her voice because it had not been said in the unsure tone she had been using all evening.



“Will, you’re still weak, maybe it would be best if you take Dawn and the rest some place safe while Giles and I try and ambush Ethan…Maybe Tara can provide some witchy back up as well.” Buffy was glad that Willow was back with them and sounding almost normal but she knew that her best friend was still weak and definitely still feeling guilty about Ethan taking some of her magic. All that just meant that Willow would agree to anything if meant alleviating her guilt and Buffy would not let that happen.



“Willow and I need to work together…Our link…When Ethan ambushed Willow and took some of her magic, he took some of mine as well because of our link.” Tara would have preferred Buffy’s idea as she really did not want Willow or Dawn anywhere in the vicinity of Ethan.



“Oh.” Buffy didn’t know what else to say. She had figured that she could convince Willow to take care of Dawn and hide with Xander and Anya, leaving Giles and her and hopefully Tara to help with stopping Ethan. However, with Tara also less than a hundred per cent, it did not bode well for all of them.



“Which is why all of us have to help with the spell. Tara figured it out…Its an incantation to the Egyptian Dwarf God, Bes.” Willow’s voice became stronger as she started to explain but since she still felt slightly off kilter, she let Tara take over.



“Willow and I have most of the spell ingredients in our room, we can anchor the spell but we would need all of your help and your energy.”



“Is it dangerous?” Dawn was glad that her sister had stopped trying to get her to hide but she also did not want Willow or Tara to do anything dangerous. “For you guys, I mean. Maybe if we all hide…”



That idea had crossed Willow’s mind. If Ethan could not find them, then perhaps he would eventually give up. However, if he used the magic to hurt other people, she would never forgive herself. She trusted Tara completely and when the blonde outlined her plan and asked for her help, she could not refuse. “No, we have to do this. We can do this. Anya, could you go up with Tara to find the spell ingredients. I’ll brief the guys here.” Willow understood what had to be done and she also knew that that if their plan did not work, she would try to take out Ethan by herself. “I’m so sorry about all of this and I will try to get all of us out. But if it does not work out, you have to promise me that you’ll take care of Tara, you’ll be her family.”



“Ok, Will first, there is no apology needed and second, we will make it through this, all of us and you can be the one to look after Tara and vice versa.” Buffy did not like Willow’s train of thought and neither did Giles.



“Tara came up with a good plan and she’s right, we all have to work together. We’ve combined energies before and with Anya, Dawn and Tara joining us, the spell should be enough to deflect anything Ethan throws at us. Buffy is right, we will get through this and when we do, I will properly apologize for not telling you about Ethan sooner.”





“So we call upon a dwarf God to help protect us and no fiery ball of death?” Anya didn’t think much of the plan and she wasn’t sure if it ranked higher than hiding but if Tara and Willow were sure then they had to at least give it a try.



“That’s the plan. Listen, if something goes wrong, not that it would but could you see that Willow’s ok. I mean…”Tara did not want to think of not being with Willow but if given the choice, she would do anything to ensure that Willow and the rest were alive.



“No way, missy!” Anya’s vehement refusal caused Tara to stop looking for the Targas root in the dresser drawer and just stare at her. “I won’t make a promise like that because it means you’ve thought about not making it and that is just unacceptable. You’re in the wedding party.You have a dress! You’re needed and Willow needs you and there is no way we’re going to fail. We can’t,fail



Tara didn’t know what else to say and just nodded as she went back to searching for the root. They had found everything they needed and could begin to set up the spell. She just hoped that Ethan would not strike any time soon. The spell was not difficult to conjure but as anchors, they had to focus and concentrate on the spell as well as the well being of the people they were relying on for energy. It required that both she and Willow be totally in sync and in a state of calm and control.





After Jonathon had made the call, he felt much better. He thought that it would have been more difficult to convince the Slayer that she was in trouble. However, as soon as he told he who he was and mentioned Ethan’s name, she had immediately accepted his warning and hung up. All in all, the call had taken less than 3 minutes and the drinks he had ordered still had not arrived. Best of all, the guilt and fear that had been gnawing at him was lessened as soon as he put the phone down. Jonathon knew that what he had just done did not negate the damage he had already caused Buffy and her friends.



“Hey, short round! Are you getting our drinks or trying to pick up women? Cos, I gotta tell you, despite the money we made, you’re really not that attractive.” Warren took immense pleasure in belittling Jonathon. It didn’t matter if what he said was true or not but the crestfallen look that his remarks elicited from Jonathon always made him feel more powerful. It would get even better once he got rid of the Slayer. Then his conversations with the Sunnydale Demon population would also take on a new dimension. They would no longer look at him like a lower being that they had to deal with but a superior being who managed to take out the slayer and her friends.



“I was just waiting for the drinks. Why do you have to be so mean all the time. I mean, you’re no Casannova either. Hey, didn’t your girlfriend dum-“



“Ok, you know what, maybe if you don’t finish that sentence, I don’t ask Ethan to test the spell on you.” Warren testily replied as he reached for the beer and stormed back to the table.



Jonathon couldn’t help but smile as he brought the rest of the drinks back. He may still be a loser but at least he was beginning to stand up for himself. Now all he had to do was buy some more time for Buffy and her friends. He knew that he was not brave enough to stop Ethan or Warren from attacking Buffy. However, he was sure that she and her friends would be able to come up with a plan to defend themselves if they had more time. “So this rounds on me, I vote Andrew gets the next.”



“Hear, hear” Ethan saluted with his newly filled glass. The more he drank, the more amenable his present company seemed. Even the sniveling Andrew was beginning to seem like an ok sort of chap. He liked the feel of the magic enveloping him and he didn’t want that feeling to fade that quickly. He knew that the satisfaction of getting his revenge on Rupert and his slayer was probably worth the loss of magic once again. However, that would be ameliorated as soon as he found another witch to steal from. He had the spell and he could get more crystals from Warren. All he had to do was kill his oldest friend. Perhaps he needed a few more pints just to put himself in a better frame of mind.



Jonathon was amazed at two things. Firstly, it hadn’t been that difficult to keep them at the bar for another forty five minutes and secondly, Ethan’s consumption of beer would have probably led to alcohol poisoning in any other person. Yet the Englishman was standing and looked less drunk than Warren or Andrew. Jonathon had made Andrew buy the next round but he then volunteered to buy the last two rounds and had watered down his own drinks and increasing the alcohol in Andrew’s. He couldn’t really tamper with Ethan or Warren’s beer but Warren couldn’t really hold his liquor anyway and after the second glass, he was slurring his words and much to Andrew’s delight, had placed his arm around him and was actually arguing about Gollum’s true motivation in the Two Towers. It was almost as if they had forgotten the earlier plan to kill the Slayer until Ethan stood up.



“It’s time.” Ethan had consumed all the liquid courage he could and felt ready. He wanted to get it over with and then get more crystals from Warren before leaving. He wouldn’t go back to England though and he definitely wanted to leave America. Maybe he would go somewhere warm, like Jamaica. He could feed off the local witches, bask in the sun and drink as much rum as possible and blot out any thoughts of his past life or Rupert.



“Riiight.” Warren staggered up, this was going to be his moment. He had planned everything out and he didn’t want to miss the show. Warren really couldn’t believe his luck. His plans had all gone off without a hitch. Granted the Slayer had not died yet, but everything that had transpired had been planned by him Best of all, he didn’t have to execute most of it. He had been wise enough to recruit Andrew and Jonathon and now Ethan. If he was a bit more sober, Warren would have probably realized that he didn’t really have to accompany Ethan to the Slayer’s house, he could just turn up after and collect the blood. However his ego and lust for bloodshed was overpowering and he wanted to be there to see her demise and the demise of her friends. Besides, once Ethan left town, Warren was going to spread the word that he had done the spell and therefore if he wanted it to sound believable, he knew he had to witness it. “Now, should we go to the house or the Magic Box?”



Jonathon knew they would be at the house so he suggested otherwise. “I guess they would all be at the Magic box researching or something.” He tried not to smile when he saw Warren nodding.



However, Andrew’s whiny voice ruined his diversion. “Or we could go to the van and see if the Buffybot can confirm if they’re there. I mean she is still in the training room, right?” Andrew really wasn’t up to making more than one trip. The alcohol was making his head spin and all he really wanted to do was to lie down somewhere but he knew that if he did that, Warren would probably get mad.



“Better idea. Go check up on it while I go drain the monkey.” Warren would not admit to them that he felt like crap. He could never hold his alcohol but it never stopped him from drinking with the boys and trying to fit in. He was just glad that Ethan had started way before they arrived and that they were leaving. He was already unsteady on his feet and could not afford to drink anymore if he wanted to at least be conscious when the spell killed Buffy and her friends. After all, he still needed to get some of the Slayer’s blood. Warren slowly made his way to the Men’s Room and after ten minutes, he emerged, his eyes still bloodshot but his step a bit more steady. Throwing up had helped but he was still feeling quite light headed as they made their way to the van parked outside.



“They’re at home. The Buffybot had nothing so I called Buffy’s house. That English guy picked up and I could hear people in the background. So I guess that’s where we’re headed.” Andrew threw the keys at Jonathon and indicated that he should drive.



Jonathon reluctantly got into the driver’s seat and started the engine. He was going to take the longer route and hoped that no one noticed. He could hear the soft drone of Ethan’s voice as he began to give instructions to Warren and Andrew. He suddenly felt sick, not due to the little alcohol he had consumed but sick due to the fact that despite his warning to Buffy, he was still playing a part in trying to kill her, Willow and the rest. He was driving to her house to kill people he had known for a longer time than the people currently sitting in the van. People who had saved his life or helped him with calculus, like Willow or distracted a bully in sixth grade and got hurt themselves, like Xander. Warren’s laugh drew him back to his current predicament and he suddenly realized what he had been doing all along. He had not made any choices. He just followed Warren despite not liking the situation only because it had meant that he didn’t have to make a difficult choice. However, it had changed that night as he did make a choice when he called Buffy. He had chosen a side and even if Buffy or her friends didn’t know it, he would help them or at least try. The difficult thing was doing it while still pretending to be loyal to Warren. Jonathon did not have a plan as he turned into Revello Drive but he knew that the outcome of tonight would not be what Warren wanted. “We’re here. I…I’m parking a ways down so as not to alert anyone.”



“Damn, you took the wrong entrance. The house is way down the road from here. “Andrew whined as he stepped out of the van, lugging a gourd and a bottle of clear liquid.



Ethan and Warren were still deep in conversation and from what Jonathon could make out, it had more to do with Ethan’s final payment than the actual spell.



“Erm, so what do we do now? I mean do we all go?” Jonathon asked, trying to appear hesitant.



Warren rolled his eyes and smirked. Even with strong magic on their side, Jonathon was such a coward. “Well, if you want to see the fireworks, you need a front row seat.”



Ethan had already started to prepare for the spell as he held the crystal in his open palm. After the soldiers had put the chip in his head, he had recited all the spells he had learnt, like a mantra. Hoping that one of them would allow him to access his magic within. But, it was all for naught. When he tried, all he got was a headache borne more out of frustration than anything else. Now, things felt different. He looked at his palm as he said “Focillo.” Unlike recent times, he began to feel the effect of the spell immediately. The only difference was that before, the warmth he had conjured up would spread from his torso towards his limbs but now, it spread from the small crystal in his palm. It was still a sign that he was no longer as whole as before but at least, he did not feel as neutered. Despite his current handicap, he had found a way to take revenge. As he followed Andrew towards the house, he began to recite the litany of words that would eventually result in an explosion of light and energy so powerful and contained, it would kill all the living things residing in the house and leave everything else untouched. Initially, he had wondered what spell to pick. He thought about creating a vortex to another dimension or simply freezing all of them and leaving their bodies in the desert to waste away. In the end though, he realized that he had wanted to hear them scream. To know their flesh would slowly be consumed by flame, leaving only blood and bone. As he neared the destination, he reached out to Andrew willing him to stop and place the gourd and bottle of liquid on the ground. The liquid was actually water mixed with some dried herbs, a small parchment with the names of all the victims and the skin flakes of a fire demon. They had not been able to rem


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 Post subject: Re: ohhh, Feedback
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 9:27 am 
great update :grin looking forward to reading more

You can't just go declaring shenanigans on innocent people, that's how wars get started!
I'm not stealing, I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?
Did you just say the 'F' word?



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 Post subject: Re: ohhh, Feedback
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 1:19 pm 
I wonder if Ethan used up all the magic he stole on that one spell, if he did he didn't make the best use of it for sure :) He stole pretty much all of Willow's power and some of Tara, amazing that they could put out enough power to stop him. Which leads me to assume Ethan isn't all that good a warlock as he thinks he is.



Does (Willow's) magic power regenerate or do they still have to get Willow's power back ? Both she and Tara will likely have some headeache after using their remaining power to the max. Good excuse to spend some time in bed, heh.



I so want to see Ethan finally getting kicked for all the trouble he has caused, he always got off way to easy. It's fairly easy to dislike Jonathan by the way, who powered that stone that made stealing Willow's power possible in the first place, hmm ?? Like rescueing people from a fire you started yourself.



Doesn't mean I don't like Jonathan finally realising he's weakly following some idiot around. Thats good, it just doesn't make all he did before that alright. He helped hurting Willow, which is a capital offense in my book. Could be I'm a bit too protective of Willow of course, heh.



Poor Willow thinking she had done something horrible :( Good scooby teamwork revealed the truth though, nice touch that. And yes, Giles definitly has some mayor apologizing to do, hopefully they'll finally learn not to withold information next time.



I expected that Buffy would leap out and after the three people she saw down the street, was rather surprised she didn't. I hope she does take care of the stupid trio in this fic, even idiots can be dangerous you know. It's a good thing she now recognizes those three as a real threat, she never did on TV and payed the price for it. (same goes for Ethan Rayn as threat on TV, cheerfully ignored until it was almost to late)



Your 'needing the whole group' idea was better (in my opinion anyway) than the way they did it in _Primeval_ (almost last ep. of season4). This felt less forced, though it was emphasized somewhat much...could be me though :D



Thanks for the update, any timetable on when the next one will be ?? (ducking) On the other hand it might give me two months to edit my feedback, heh...



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 2/18/03 3:12:33 pm


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 Post subject: Re: I Dream of Thee Ch 7c
PostPosted: Sun Feb 23, 2003 1:24 pm 
Thanks for the update. I've enjoyed this story and will continue to read it as long as you write it.



Willow learned a great lesson at the end and maybe she can stop taking everything as her own responsibility and learn to rely on others so that she doesn't become swept away with guilt. It's a good thing Tara knows how to break through and calm Willow and reassure her. And I still love Anya, she's so in tune with Tara and w/t. Thanks so much for the update!

-----------------
Baby you make my love come down

Oh you make my love come down

Make it come all the way down
-
Evelyn Champagne King



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 Post subject: Re: Sorry for the delay
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2003 9:58 am 
I really enjoyed this update. Mostly for how it showed the Scoobies as such a close-knit unit. I'm intrigued as to what Warren is going to try next and to whether Ethan will stick around Sunnydale. Thanks.

Love is a place I dream of. A face that never leaves my mind
Luka Bloom



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 Post subject: Re: Ch 8c
PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2003 2:07 am 
This is new to the archive. You can leave feedback!



To the creator of this thread: If you ever want to add something new, just email a mod and we'll move it to the active Pens board.


- - - - - - - - - - -
"Hard work often pays off after time but laziness always pays off now!"


Edited by: maudmac  at: 12/28/03 1:08 am


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 Post subject: Re: Fic - I Dream of Thee
PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 6:29 am 
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is this unfinished or my computer sucks??


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 Post subject: Re: Fic - I Dream of Thee
PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 10:34 am 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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All fics in the two Pens Archive forums are unfinished. The finished fics are in the two Willow/Tara Completed Fics Archive forums.

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 Post subject: Re: Fic - I Dream of Thee
PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:12 pm 
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2. Floating Rose

Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:09 pm
Posts: 26
Location: ITALY
maudmac wrote:
All fics in the two Pens Archive forums are unfinished. The finished fics are in the two Willow/Tara Completed Fics Archive forums.


And i also read the faq. silly me.

Thanks, i would have preferred my computer sucking


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