sorry for the not updateing in like a million years...forgive me? But i have good reasons too! well...i'll just get with the updateing...so here it is...
Chapter 13:
Nothing, she would do nothing. Willow didn’t have to know. Willow never had to find out…ever.
“So…um…maybe we should go to bed now, it’s 5 am.” Tara said. She needed time to think this all over.
“Ok,” Willow answered, oblivious to the large freak out that had just occurred.
“You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.” The blonde slid down to the small bed she had set up beside her own.
Months went by and Tara had finally become used to the fact that she was gay. She was still ashamed of herself, she still felt dirty. Some part of her always would, that had just been the way she’d been brought up…but it wasn’t something she couldn’t get used too.
Tara hadn’t kept in touch with Willow for a while. She’d somewhat strayed away from the phone and turned more toward the internet…messenger worked just fine if not better.
Now on this particular day, Tara was waiting for Willow to sign on. The blonde had decided, this was it, she was going to tell Willow, she had the right to know. She defiantly wasn’t prepared to lose Willow as a friend, but she was going to do it anyway. And right now Oz was bugging to heck out of her, he had been going on and on about paintball and wouldn’t shut up. Then finally Willow saved her…Tara thought she heard the halleluiah chorus somewhere off in the distance.
(For further reference Willow and Tara’s names are going to be represented by W and T, to save on typing if you know what I mean)
T: Argg! I need to yell at someone!
Tara hadn’t meant to yell…but she was frustrated and it’s just what she typed.
W: ok.
T: Ugh…I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell.
W: Your silly.
“Um Silly? That’s different…but I’ll take it” Tara thought.
T: Why?
W: I don’t care if you yell at me.
T: Aww, but I fell bad I don’t wanna yell, especially not at you.
W: Well, thank you.
Willow was so sweet, how could anyone not like her? But she had to stay on track here.
T: No! Stop you don’t get it! I’m trying to say something here and you don’t get it! Forget it…
W: No! Just plainly tell me.
T: No…
W: Please?
Now this was strange. Did Willow know something? What was going on here?
T: No…
W: Because I bet I won’t take what you’re going to tell me the way you think.
What was this?! She definitely knew something…and even worse she probably knew exactly what Tara was trying to tell her but being all hard to get.
T: No probably not.
W:I want to know.
T: No you can’t.
If Willow wanted to hear it so bad Tara was going to make her work for it.
W: I will tell you something about me that could ruin my life if anyone knew…
T: Ok, if you want.
W: But first you must be completely honest. And my info might interest you.
Willow wasn’t saying what Tara thought she was saying, was she?
T: Ok? I’m getting worried, what’s this about? God! We’re right back where we started.
W: *sigh*
T: Well, first what do you know about me? I know you know something.
Maybe Willow would say it for her?
W: I don’t know anything about you.
T: What?! Yes you do! I know you know something!
W: About?
T: Me!?
W: Know what? You’re confusing!
Willow wanted to play hard to get? Fine. Tara knew she should just outright say it, but she couldn’t…she had a hard time even thinking it let alone say it. This was the only way she knew, and Willow’s non-participation wasn’t helping.
T: I don’t know, you go first.
W: It wouldn’t make sense if you didn’t go first I think.
T: No, you first, or do you know what I’m going to say?
W: I don’t know if I do or not…I just wanna be sure, and not feel stupid if it’s something different.
T: Don’t feel stupid, what do you think I’m going to say?
W: Please just tell me…this is so hard to go through this whole “You first, no you first!” thing.
T: I can’t, I’m trying. But this is really hard for me too.
W: If you tell me…you may benefit from what you hear from me.
Ok, Willow definitely knew what was going on…that’s annoying…well it looked like she was going to have to say it.
T: But I’ll feel stupid, because I’m afraid that you won’t say something that has anything to do with me.
That should have given it away right there, it was so obvious.
W: Well so am I! But someone has to step up to the plate, and I know you have to courage.
What was she?! The cowardly lion?! He had a whole different predicament there! But it looked as if there was no way around this.
T: Ok, I think I’ve got it. You know that rumor about me that went around for a while?
Oh my God did she suck at this!
W: Ummm…wasn’t it that you liked me or something?
T: Not quite but close enough.
W: Will you restate the rumor then?
T: Oh my God! Just minus the me liking you part.
W: Something?
T: No!
W: I don’t remember though.
Tara felt like her head was going to explode. Her fingers were already numb, and Willow wasn’t helping by dragging this on and on. And she wasn’t giving in.
T: I thought you were smart!? It’s the same thing only I don’t like you.
Who was she kidding? Tara was head over heals for this girl.
W: I don’t understand, your not being very clear.
T: I’m sorry! I’m trying my best!
W: God, can’t you just tell me?!
T: Let’s think here, what’s another word for happy?
W: Oh ok, are you saying that’s true?
Finally she got it! But it didn’t sound very happy.
T: Yes…
W: Well, me too…I’m gay too.
T: um…
Oh wow, Tara didn’t know what to say. She had been expecting something like bi, or even nothing important at all. She was at a complete loss for words.
W: And I used to like you. But don’t tell anyone ok?
T: Yeah, hey, don’t tell anyone but I used to like you too.
Yeah, she fell in love and never fell back out, it wasn’t a complete lie. Willow was like a really bad addiction.
W: See now it wasn’t that hard!
T: For you! No telling anyone?
W: I won’t if you won’t. I’ve never told anyone about me before.
T: Me neither.
W: You know, I figured it out.
T: Huh?
W: A long time ago.
T: What?
W: That you were.
How could she? Tara herself hadn’t even known until about a few months ago, in which she had not seen Willow. How had the red head have known before it was even an idea for Tara?
T: Me? How?
W: I knew because I read your aura. That’s why I was going to tell you I was too. But I wanted to hear it from you first.
T: I wanted to tell you a long time ago, but I didn’t wan’t to make the same mistake twice.
It was true, she had lost Brooke, she hadn’t been ready to loose her other best friend.
W: And see! I won’t act any different around you.
T: Oh my God! Thank you, you are like the best friend to ever walk this earth!
W: Anytime.
T: Now that my fingers are regaining feeling…And hey, not there’s nothing you don’t know about me. That was the only thing I’ve ever kept from you.
W: Yeah me too.
Tara somewhat doubted it…but if that was the case, Willow was very easily forgiven.
W: Hey…maybe someday, when we’re older and away from this little town there’s a chance for us.
Holy crap! Had Willow really just said what she thought she had? They had a chance!? This was a dream come true! Nothing could possibly make her happier than to be with Willow.
W: Well, I gotta go, I love you.
T: Love you too.
Tara turned off her computer, this had defiantly just been one of the happiest moments of her life. She would always live for moments like this, when Willow would make her feel as if she was floating. She still wasn’t quite sure if Willow felt the same, but that would be a conversation for another day.
ok...well...hope you like it...
Liz
whoo! Update! I love this fic! Ive read all the parts thus far and cant wait for more! So cute! 
by Spikeizmine87 » Sat Apr 03, 2004 8:15 pm 
. Love sammi xx 
. Anyhoo, keep up the great work and hope to see more soon... =) 
,
Poor 
! That is aweful. 
has finally relized she likes girls, and now comes the freak out. 
These two have problems ahead of them. Can't wait to 
more. Update soon, please? 
