i'll come back later for a proper feedback! but woo and hoo!

i'll come back later for a proper feedback! but woo and hoo!


what a way to open the new year! an update from one of my favorite authors! i'm a little rusty with the feedback so bear with me.
so brave of her to do so... i remember being scared of going to the bathroom alone after dark at her age let alone running away from home... she has a mind to get scared, but she also knows she's intelligent and she can get herself out of trouble.
Okay, my fb is a little delayed, 'cos I was in the middle of typing it out last night & my comp decided to crash, so I lost everything I'd typed - stupid computer But I'm pretty sure I remember what I'd typed so, hopefully, I'll actually get to post it this time.
Emms, sweetie, I'm left more & more intrigued with every wonderful update of this fic, it's quite brilliant, & so very cleverly written.
reminded me of Margaret Atwood's Handmaid's Tale. I'm not sure why, maybe 'cos of the "shopping attire", & the whole, baby obsession.
What a painful and heart-wrenching start. Willow setting out as a 5 year old boy? seems quite young but it's not the same world we live in. I'm hoping she'll be ok (or as ok as she'll be anyway). Interesting that she actually think she is a boy. More?
Wow, cruel world indeed. And presented so well - I found a kind of black humour kept coming through as I read, which strangely makes the harshness of Willow's early life all the more real, by not consciously drawing attention to it. I really got a strong feeling of 'this is how life is' for this society, and how they truly didn't see the nastiness of their ways.
Something that really leapt out at me, whether by your design or just by chance, was Willow's stuffed tiger, Tiger. Just that, her having this toy tiger, and calling it something so simple as 'Tiger', really brought home to me how young she is, how sad it is that she's unloved, and how brave she is to set out on her own. And yes, it may be equal parts optimism and ignorance of the wider world, but she's taken the first step in making her life hers.
Just finished reading your lastest installment of "Butterfly". Now here comes the sad smiley...
Saluting you while devising a plan to take over the world.

G'day, Emms. (aka the author previously known as Miss Kitty's Ball o' Yarn, and blimey that is a mouthful )
I know that Watson already mentioned a kind of Oriental feeling, but I think it's also a bit Dickensian, what with children being sold, and work houses/feather plucking factories. I also know that you yourself said you're basically coming up with this worlds details as you go along, but what you've got so far has peaked my interest.
So, I'm rather shocked, you've written a male character who actually sounds like he might be nice. Okay so, he's a little harsh, but, he sounds like he's had a hard life & he's not meaning to snap at poor little Willow.
*thinking* What about the Donny in Catching Sunflowers…? He turned out to be an okay guy in the end.
I struggled a little, trying to finish reading the part of a young Willow alone, underneath that bush, crying and shivering in the cold. It was extrodinary how, even in her current state of despair and loneliness, Willow still wouldn't allow anyone to take Tiger away from her. And I'm also very impressed with the way she cared more about Rainbow crying than she did about her own tears.
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oh fudge! i feel like i'm the slacker... i promised proper feedback... but but with me, that's a tall order i guess hehe...
Age had done a job on him as well, making him hardened, weathered and not much to look at.
- can you tell that I'm a little excited?
Now that must have been an interesting discoveryShe'd found out long ago that she was not a boy.


YummyAs a girl, she would have made an impressive sight with her muscled arms and her well defined legs,

Willow's so cute all proud, & I'm positive that Ra will be extremely proud & pleased for her.Willow puffed out her chest as she made her way back the way she’d come. Ra would be proud of her

to Tara's father - I do hate that man.
& it's sweet & so wonderfully 'Tara' to be friends with all the servants & to help them do their work too - especially considering the consequences of getting caught, she's so brave.“How do you expect to work in that?”
Rory pointed to her dress and she grinned. “Like this.” She raised her skirt and watched Rory turn his head. “Relax, will you?” Tara smiled as she pulled the rest of her skirt up to show him the pants she had put on underneath.
That was cute.& that was hotTara straddled the bench and sat down, hunching over her work as if it could save her soul.
There's something so sexy about a girl who doesn't shy away from hard labour, plus, with the straddling... 

Uhm, I'm sure you have sweetie, I just meant that, Rainbow was the first nice male character in this story.I’ve written male characters who were not complete assholes before, haven’t I?
oh fudge! i feel like i'm the slacker... i promised proper feedback... but but with me, that's a tall order i guess hehe...
when i first started reading about rainbow scooter, i can't help but feel sorry for his life, but i realized along the way reading through his story that here was a man who tried to cope best with what life dealt him with... in spite of every bad thing that happened in his life, he tried to be a good man nonetheless... he might be dirty outside, but i'm sure he has a sparkly clean heart...i think he will be a good influence on willow...
i'm glad these two crossed paths... here is a win-win situation: him with wanting the love of a lost daughter and her with needing the guidance of a father...
Oh, we've time travelled, & I didn't feel a thing

Yay! She's gonna meet Tara soon!
It doesn't sound like things have got much better over the years, rather they seem to be worse now, with all those children running around & not enough jobs to go around.
So, Tara sounds kinda tomboy-ish too - that's cute. & it's sweet & so wonderfully 'Tara' to be friends with all the servants & to help them do their work too - especially considering the consequences of getting caught, she's so brave.
& that was hot There's something so sexy about a girl who doesn't shy away from hard labour, plus, with the straddling...

)
)
So, I can wait for better times.Life was full of possibilities
There will be princesses, daring sword fights, Willows in disguise (no wait...that sounds like something else....) Okay, no sword fights...well, possibly a sword fight.
But it was sounding like 'The Princess Bride' there for a bit.
(I would have preferred an emoticon with more of a courtly flourish type bow, but ... eh, what are you gonna do?)
I feel that they will actually meet any day now! Looking forward to it.
will "i love this chapter... can't wait for more" be a worthy enough feedback for an adored story such as this? i guess not, but those words capture the truth of the way i feel about your fic... please forgive this nonsense... my brain's been malfunctioning for a while now...
I want it want it want it.
Willow and Rainbow are a sweet pair - both having taken big nasty whacks from life, but managing in meeting each other to salvage some of what their lives could have been, had fate been kinder to begin with. So they managed, in spite of fate, to find a 'family' for themselves, and both have prospered because of it - Willow being taken care of as a child, and now taking care of the old man in turn.
(I was worried for a moment, when Rainbow saw Tiger in the rain, that Willow had lost him - I like Tiger
I like work-out-defined Willow
I'll be really interested to see Willow and Tara meet. Some of the how is obvious by now, but it's the details that promise to be intriguing.
I imagine Tara's going to be spending a lot of time around the servants once Willow shows up, which risks nastiness from her father - Tara's got spirit of her own, to defy him, but she's not exactly protecting herself, and I can easily imagine Willow coming over all kinds of protective if Tara's father hurts her. And while the image of her laying the guy out may be well-deserved, it'd probably not be without consequences... Add in Willow's desire to be a boy, I wonder how that'll mesh with her and Tara - she'll have to own up to being a girl at some point, before hot gay loving can eventuate... interesting situation.
I actually have most of this story written...and let's say you've covered about 97% of it in that one paragraph.
So I guess I'll have to pray that the details continue to make this story interesting.
I like the title graphic too, very vivid.
I'm sitting here... on the floor with a blanket pulled over my head and body hunched over this screen (sick today)...
All I can do is write and hope that I'm able to immerse the reader in my world...you have no Idea how nice it is to know that what I'm writing is having such an effect on people. Thank you so much for that. Possibly a sword fight? I didn't see no sword fight! Not even a knife fight! I would have even settled for a sword fight using dildos ala Sorority Boys, but alas, all my hopes were dashed.
But it was sounding like 'The Princess Bride' there for a bit.
Well, another character has joined the dramatis personae of this unique little world you've conjured, in Rainbow Scooter. Well, he's got an interesting name to start, not to mention a bum knee, one that's left one leg three inches shorter than the other. That must have been one nasty accident.

You know ... well of course you know, you're the one doing it ... but back on track ... you do such a good job of making the world in which you place your characters a living, breathing world. The smallest detail can just leap out at the reader and almost touch them on the nose. I salute your talent, milady. (I would have preferred an emoticon with more of a courtly flourish type bow, but ... eh, what are you gonna do?)
I liked the way that Willow was scared enough of Rainbow to hide, a sensible precaution, but brave enough to expose herself to save Tiger from an uncertain fate. Don't know why, but that just spoke to me. (It said something like 'comment on this, you little twit')
Ahh, and Tara makes an appearance, even if she isn't mentioned by name. Can I just say, DonAldo? He sounds a right bastard. I'd happily do for the git if: A) I could get away with it without fear of imprisonment or physical harm, and B) if he wasn't a fictional character in a story, thusly making all of my posturing utterly irrelevant

The whole bit with the servants quarters seem reminiscent of a cross between the slaves of the Deep South, and the serfs of medieval Europe, which is fun for a history buff like myself.
Okay, a dislocated shoulder? From her own father, just for being found in the servants quarters? You know that little disclaimer I made above? Forget it! I'd gladly stick a shiv in that SOB's liver, no matter the personal cost
Emms, thanks for this pair of updates! When I first realized the time-travel, I was like "Aw, no!" but then I realized that they were both young kids at the time and that them being all grown up means that when they meet there's a good possibility for smoochies and stuff, since it seems like the age of consent in their universe is not as stringent as is modern times. I feel that they will actually meet any day now! Looking forward to it.
Alas, the handsome and rugged Willow was chosen by The MacLean estate. Rainbow would truly be proud
My son is lying in my bed tucked under his favorite blanket. He's been sick for about a week now. I look at him and I realize that I'm crying. Why am I crying? Because I love him and my daughter and I could never see myself harming them in any way; physically or emotionally. I paused and re-read the part where DonAldo dislocates Tara's shoulder. This really happens, I begin to think. Children do suffer like this. Something should be done. I'm with Paul (Darth Pacula)...except it wouldn't be his liver where I would stick that shiv.
I remember beign a young girl and tagging along with mi papa (my dad) wherever he went. I hated weekend housework... I would wake up early just to complete my chores quickly and spend the entire day with mi papa. I learned how to change break disks, fan belts. I would assist him in tune-ups, changing flat tires. On weekends in which he mowed the lawn, I didn't have to do my 'in house' chores because mi papa needed me outside to help him. When we were done, we would sneak off to 'Jims' a local hamburger joint and indulge in burger goodness...an ice cream cone would soon follow. My mom and siblings had no clue we did this. Even though I have a brother, I believe I was mi papa's only son.
hiya ms emms! i finally get the chance to break away from RL to finally get a chance to leave feedback... reading the others' insightful feedbacks, i feel inadequate to form even coherent sentences. will "i love this chapter... can't wait for more" be a worthy enough feedback for an adored story such as this? i guess not, but those words capture the truth of the way i feel about your fic... please forgive this nonsense... my brain's been malfunctioning for a while now...
willow has prospered in ra's tutelage... and because of willow, ra has found a new purpose in life... that maybe the hardships he had to face in his life made him ready to be the sort of father willow not only wanted but needed... willow has been a determined and strong individual even as a child, but through ra, i believe the bright spirit under those layers of unhappy experiences did finally show through... she is not only thinking about merely surviving in this cruel world, but she sees how life is full of possibilities... she sees a purpose and that is taking care of ra as he took care of her... and maybe when she meets tara, she will have other purposes.
they will eventually be meeting each other and soon... as willow will be working in the MacLean estate and tara spending most of her days with the servants... they might have grown in different worlds but their spirits will recognize each other and sigh for finding their home at last...
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Yummy story line, I like where this is heading,and I can hardly wait for the next update.
You are truly an amazing writer.

She’d always wanted to know what he kept buried in that dirty bag.
She thought the yellow glow of firelight would be pretty against a purple sky.




She was glad she missed the dribble of green guts that sprang from the worm and dribbled down his chin, where it became entangled in his wiry, grey beard.
See, even the gross details are so wonderfully written. 
I loved that part, it was so beautifully bittersweet. Such powerful imagery & such a strong impact - absolutely wonderful.The history of the world was lain out before her everyday…it was written on the cobblestone streets, glistening with dirt and rain…it was written in blood on the walls of abandoned houses where feral children gathered. It was written in Willow’s blood and in Ra’s eyes less brilliant than before and heavy with age. She didn’t need a crystal trinket to tell her anything about the history of their world. She witnessed it made everyday.

Will's had a very tough life, & now that she's in close contact with a lot of people it'll be even harder for her to hide the fact that she's a girl. I am looking forward to Tara finding out that particular piece of information though - that will make for an interesting read.She would have something to prove, and she knew it. She always had something to prove.

Was she hiding from her father? Rory lifted his eyebrows at her, and Tara, having had enough, flung a watering can at him. Luckily, her aim was way off and the can missed his head by a mile. He smiled at her and Tara stuck her tongue out at him.
Absolutely adorable 
Tara stood against the cold window with the heated skin of her cheek, where her father had struck her, pressed against the glass. She starred off in the distance, her eyes focusing on the workers quarters. She wished she could disappear.
She felt guilty about having stole it, but rationalized it by telling herself she would pay them back once she’d saved up a little money from her new job.
Willow didn’t know what Ra was talking about. The history of the world was lain out before her everyday…it was written on the cobblestone streets, glistening with dirt and rain…it was written in blood on the walls of abandoned houses where feral children gathered. It was written in Willow’s blood and in Ra’s eyes less brilliant than before and heavy with age. She didn’t need a crystal trinket to tell her anything about the history of their world. She witnessed it made everyday.
She wished she could disappear.
Great update, Emms. Please do keep them coming.
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I'm sure he does.She wondered if he missed her just as much.

Yikes, sounds scary, I think that I would not like to work there.She’d already tried the gate and found it locked, and the sharp points along its crest hadn’t exactly beckoned her over the top
Okay, I know that that's a rather large quote, but, WOW!Tara stood at the edge of the protruding rock that made up her special place. A river of rushing water foamed and roared past jagged rocks fifty feet below. She could feel the cool air as it traveled over her skin to caress the delicateness of her bare legs. Her dress pressed against the upper portion of her body while she held her skirts above her thighs. Her body trembled as the feeling of freedom she so craved began to overtake her.
She’d never felt as free as she did with the wind whipping past her with nothing but sky on above her. She loved heights. She loved to feel free. She loved the hear the eagles call to each other as they soared above the cliffs. She’d always been told that Eagles were solitary animals, but Tara knew their secret language she knew why they loved the clouds.
That whole part was just, wow! There's not other word for it - I loved, loved, loved it. 

“Would it be apropos to suggest to you that I’m saving your life?”
“Saving my life? Are you out of your head?!”
That whole exchange was just hilarious. It was brilliant, all of it, especially with the struggling & the holding, simply brilliant! 

Aww, me thinks Will has the teeny beginings of a crush?Willow didn‘t miss the tear that wet the other girl‘s cheek and it made her heart squeeze in her chest. Crying had never really bothered Willow much throughout her life, as she’d never done much of her own, but this girl‘s tears seemed to bring out a side of Willow she previously never even thought about existing. A fearsome side that gave her cause to worry. “Do you want to tell me what happened? Or shall I conjure up an imaginary dragon to slay?”
It's so sweet! 
Hmm, me thinks Tara has the teeny beginings of a crush too.Tara took that moment of silence between them to look at Will in more detail. She thought he had fine features and the most exquisite green eyes she’d ever seen. There was a softness in his touch that Tara had never known from a man and it took the breath from her lungs, but only partially.


OhMyGod!She thought maybe he might have been over compensating for something…perhaps a small manhood.
I LOVED that!Good questions.Willow was confused, how did this man even know who she was when she‘d never seen him before in her life? And more importantly how did he know about Ra?
Why do I get the feeling that that might change in the not too distant future?Willow vowed she would have no more to do with DonAldo or any of his kin for as long as she was a prisoner there.
i really wonder where ur going with this.. i hope it turns out good but im sure theryll be some angst..well i hope
cuz angst is a fun thing.. but yeah im all full of charcoal so it would be in my best interest to take a shower before i get the comp full of charcoal so great update and plz update soon!
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