Fic: Fractured

[LostWithoutTara]

I echo everyone's sentiments - poor Tara! I hope she manages to break out of the isolation she has constructed for herself. In the long-term, I doubt it would be very good for her. And how unlucky that she should hear of Willow's date without knowing Willow turned Tiffany down.



Hoping things will look up for our girls soon. Great update.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[The Rose24]

Now, this is how the show should have handled that girl who shall remain nameless.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[Grimlock72]

Poor Tara, she just HAD to call at the worst possible time...



I'm however very happy that she found a job she likes and appearantly some affordable housing. That's the material side of things taken care of at least, though that was probably (comparable) the easy part .



Of course Tara doesn't like hearing that Willow is going on a date. She did however leave Willow and her head also realizes that it's to be expected that Willow will eventually go on with her life (six months is a loooong time)... her heart still feels like it's being torn to pieces though, no logic will prevent that .



As for Willow, obviously she's still in love with Tara. That leads us to the conclusion that she either should go look for Tara and make up, or close the 'Tara-period' in her life and move on. Remaining 'stuck' like she is now won't help her or make her feel better either way. I can understand where her collegues at work are coming from, they're trying to help her... possibly a bit to forcefully. On the other hand Willow might remain alone and miserable for YEARS if she's not pushed to do something about it. (doesn't help she won't *know* Tara tried to call)



Both girls probably won't sleep well this night



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[Marilda]

Tempest Duer - Thanks. I know it was a tricky situation. I'm glad you thought it was handled well.



sammi - I'm glad you enjoyed the update. Thanks for the feedback.



justin - Tara's isolation is important to me for the purposes of the story. I don't particuraly like seeing her that way, but I feel that it's necessary for what comes next. OOh, ominous sounding isn't it? Hee, thanks for the thoughtful insight, it is appreciated.



sabina - Hee. Um, yeah, I feel bad for Tara. The timing does suck. I'm glad you like the story. BTW - I like your sig...way cool.



envision - I think that it just kind of goes to show that you can have a good life (or at least not an uncomfortable one) in all other senses, but emotionally everything still feels like hell. Depressing, actually. Thanks for reading.



LostWithoutTara - You're right, the isolation is in no way good for her, in fact, it's downright bad. I wanted to show it because, well, it tends to happen, and I think it's right for the character in terms of where I want the story to go. It will get better eventually, I promise.



TheRose24- HEE. Actually, the first draft of this was actually about um, that girl, but then I realized that by writing it that way, I'd actually have to mention her name and I didn't want to have to deal with that for a couple of reasons. First, I just don't like mentioning her name at all, gets me all sorts of angry and well then I'd be angry at my fic. Secondly, I think that would have been me taking potshots at the character and the writers. While that would be fun, in a way, I would find it cheap. It would do nothing to advance the story, rather it'd be kind of a meansprited aside that would distract from the flow and, I think, give the structure of the fic less credibility.



Wow, that was long. Anyway, thanks for reading.



Grimmy - Yes. Everything you said, yes. I agree that it presents a dilemna for both girls, and, if the outcome is that they aren't going to LOOk for each other, then the only possible thing to do, for their own mental well-being, is to sort of close it off and try to move on. How that works in terms of trying to do a reunion fic is the crux of the matter. Anyway, thanks as always for such insightful feedback.

[sabina]

Hey there



I just had to reply



You like my sig. Yay

I love pearl jam and this one quotation really means something to me. It's a reminder that whatever life throws at you the decision about what to make of it it's still yours and no one else's.

"I am mine"

And also I wanted to add that I think you made the right decision about the girl's name.

Even thought I love it when people makes fun of that character it still makes kind of sad to read her name in fics.

I think it is best for her to remain nameless and at least in fics not even come near Willow or Tara.

Let her name fall in the shadows and be forgotten.



And now to finish, I'll just be bugging you as always



Update soon?

---

"I know I was born and I know that I'll die.

The in between is mine.

I am mine!" - Pearl Jam

Edited by: sabina at: 9/23/03 9:39 am

[envision]

Hello Marilda!



Thanks for the reply. Yup, definitely agree with you on that. emotional hellhole sure makes everything feel worthless, no matter how comfortable. As they say, no point having all the riches in the world if you don't have that special someone to share it with.



And on that note... how about another update soon...? **grin**

[Marilda]

sabina - That makes sense. It is a very good quote, and also a very good philosophy on life. I'm glad that you thought my decision was a good one, I was a little worried about it myself.



envision - Let's face it, emotional hell-holes suck ass. And just so you know that I care...here's the update.







Okay, MAJOR ANGST WARNING AHEAD. In fact, if you happen to live near a bridge, you might want to reconsider. However, if you still venture to read this installment, please refrain from the diving without a ‘chute. I love these girls, I swear, and there will be much merriment and enjoyment to come, I promise.









Months Later…





I wish I could tell you it gets happier. That Tara realizes she should go to Willow and try to work it out, but…there’s a poem by a guy named Yeats that kind of sums up the situation, Things fall apart, he says, the center cannot hold.



Tara shifted around, trying to find a more comfortable position on the stiff wooden chair. She looked around at the club and found that, apart from the torture-like seats, it was a pretty decent venue for music. The music tonight wasn’t exactly on the authentic side, but it was entertaining nonetheless. She was, glad that Jessica (an acquaintance from school) had forced her to come out. Granted, the force was almost of the physical kind, but Jessica, being the persistent little beaver she was, managed to accomplish the task. She wanted Tara as a friend, for whatever reason, and she wasn’t going to leave the blonde alone until she reached her goal.



Right now, the band in question was performing one of its original songs; a sort of post punk ballad, if such a thing actually existed. It wasn’t that original, or that good, but when the band stuck to covers, as it had mostly been doing all night, the music was decent, and above par.



“So Tara, how do you like it?”



Startled, Tara stopped her survey of the room and instead turned to Jessica. She still felt a bit awkward around the girl, and was usually reserved in what she said, but the fact that she was enjoying herself was too much to pass up. “I…I’m having fun?” she said, a bit startled at the admission.



Jessica laughed. “It’s okay. That’s a good thing!”







Willow was terrified. She tried to get the others to wait until morning to go off to battle, but the slayer and the slayers-to-be, not to mention her other, no slayer-type, so-called friends, all decided that they couldn’t wait until the morning and had to fight the battle now. Apparently, they didn’t see the logic in getting a good night’s rest. Stupid friends, she thought.



She was about to continue her mental rant when she looked up and saw Dawn walking a bit ahead of her. Her hand was grasping tightly to Buffy’s and, although she was trying valiantly to hide it, her face conveyed her anxiousness.



Why, she’s terrified too, Willow thought. She looked around and surveyed all the faces around her, they all are. So why did she feel so alone in her panic? Maybe because it’s all on your head this time, she thought. It was up to Willow to perform the spell, the biggest she’d done in her life. She knew she could do it, that wasn’t necessarily what was so worrying; it was whether she could control it that distressed her. In the six months since Buffy’s close-call, Willow had learned to control her magic; learned the why’s and the wherefore’s of every spell she performed. She knew the causes and the consequences of every utterance, of every phrase.



Now, she didn’t know what lay beyond the spell. She didn’t know where the utterances of the words would take her. Would it mean she would become an addict again? Not that it mattered, she assured herself. If she did become an addict, that was an acceptable price to pay. But what if there was more? Not knowing the consequences meant you couldn’t prepare. What if the consequence was more than addiction? What if this time, the addiction could not be overcome? What if it meant death?



She knew she would do the spell regardless—the mission was too important for her to back out at the last second. But, if she knew what lay beyond, if she knew what would happen afterward, she could make sure she was ready. If she was going to die, damn-it, she wanted to say goodbye. To her friends, to her family, to Tara. Granted, she still didn’t know where the blonde was, but she could write a letter, send an all-points telegram and hoped Tara received it, something.



The option of reaching Tara via magick, while appealing, was unacceptable. Tara had left because of Willow’s magick. Willow felt it to be ironic and somewhat sadistic if the means of locating the blonde was done with its help.



Willow looked up. The entourage had stopped; they had reached their destination. Willow squared her shoulders and took a deep breath.



“Will, you ready?”



Willow looked up into Buffy’s eyes, then around at all the other eyes staring expectantly at her. She hoped what she was about to do didn’t mean the end, because she’d just run out of time to say goodbye.



Willow nodded. “I’m ready.”









Tara took another sip of her drink. “That was…um…yeah.”



Jessica laughed, “I know! Who knew?”



The band had just performed its own unique version of the Macarena - punk style. It was, at least by the reaction of the crowd, a life-altering experience.



“But it was entertaining.” Tara added.



Jessica nodded. “That it was my friend. That it was.”



The crowd became quiet upon hearing the singer speak into the microphone and begin announcing her next song.



“I don’t know how they could possibly top that,” Jessica said.



Tara just shook her head.



“…and so here’s a true classic,” the singer concluded. “I hope you enjoy.”



The music began considerably slower than in the last song. Wherein before the members of the band were delighting in their mockery of the tune, now the seriousness and the emotion of the song came through.



It's not the pale moon that excites me



Tara’s hand stopped, her drink inches from her mouth. The merriment she was feeling instantly fled and instead was replaced with a sharp stab of pain. She haphazardly put her drink back on the table, making it slosh at the edges. She reached back for her purse and crudely pushed her chair back.



“Tara?” Jessica questioned.



That thrills and delights me



“I’m sorry, I have to go.” Tara said as she made her way toward the exit.



Jessica managed to grab her hand before Tara fled.



“What’s going on?”



It's just the nearness of you



Tara looked up at the stage and felt tears forming in her eyes. She looked down and Jessica and pleaded. “Please…I just…I have to…”



Jessica released her grip. “Okay,” she said and moved to get up.



It isn't your sweet conversation



“No,” Tara said, realizing the other girl wanted to go with her. “I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”



That brings this sensation



Her eyes, brimming with tears, begged the other girl to understand.



Oh no



Jessica sighed. “Okay, but be careful.”



Tara nodded and fled.



It's just the nearness of you











Willow, sitting on the floor with the weapon in front of her, began the incantation. Here goes nothing, she thought.







Tara pushed open the door to the back exit of the club, every cell of her body begging her to get away from the resonance of the music. From the memories the lyrics represented.



Once outside she paused and took a breath, but still, still she could hear the words. Still they mocked her, reminded her of a time when they were sung to her.



When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me



Of a time when Willow pulled her out of their bed and spun her around in her arms and sang them to her, endearingly off-key.



All my wildest dreams come true









Willow felt the power coursing through her, felt it seep into her and overtake her. She was no longer in control.







I need no soft lights to enchant me



As the tears finally fell down her cheeks, Tara moved to go. She needed to get home, she thought. She needed to get away from the memories.



If you'll only grant me the right



As she began her trek, an arm snuck in and grabbed her from behind, covering her mouth with its hand.



To hold you ever so tight







Willow knew, as the power coursed through her, as the spell began to take effect, she knew what was happening; what it meant. I’m not going to die, she thought. Somehow, she didn’t know how, but somehow, she had been granted a gift.



She opened her eyes and knew the spell was a success, knew, even if the people fighting the battle didn’t, that they’d won.







Tara’s mind went blank. Spells, defenses, were gone. For a second, she thought it was a vampire, and felt the irony of the situation. The irony of knowing that she was going to die that way.



And to feel in the night…



When the hand pushed her down, she turned and saw that it was a man. She looked into his eyes, saw his intent, and knew that she would experience a different kind of death.



…the nearness of you











End of Part One.

Edited by: Marilda at: 11/15/03 9:42 am

[The Rose24]

Awww. How sad. They really need each other. I want them to find each other again soon.



There has to be way for Tara to get out of this. I do not like to read something like this. Tara has been through enough already.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

Edited by: The Rose24  at: 2/12/04 8:16 pm

[JennY]

Holy crap!! You can't end there! Wow... that was so beautiful. More soon please!

-----------



JennY



"My mom started collecting Beanie Babies about 4 years after she died."-- Deputy Trudy Wiegel, Reno Sheriffs Department

[intricate mirage]

Oh no! Poor Tara... she can't keep suffering like that she's been through too much. And that man.. whoever that horrid man is... She and Willow have got to find each other soon.

~ Cas



---

"You're something beautiful, a contradiction.

I wanna break the spell that you've created."

© Muse

[Arwen276]

NO NO NO!! Don't let anything bad happen to Tara!!!



and the above parts were so sweet and so sad... It was a very teary moment!





more soon please!!



~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[sam darls]

"The nearness of you" is such a beautiful song..and it was so sweet...but they have to found each other soon, please? love sammi xxx

[sabina]

Hi



You can't let anything bad happen to Tara... please?

Somebody should drop an anvil on that man's head... soon!!



Oh... and bring them together soon, please? The anxiety is killing me



Update soon?

---

"I know I was born and I know that I'll die.

The in between is mine.

I am mine!" - Pearl Jam

[Grimlock72]

Well it was good attempt by Jessica to bring Tara back real life somehow. To bad they just had to play a song which remembered Tara of Willow. At least Willow seems to go on with life to some extend, while Tara hides in her room sort of. Thats worrying, after all it has been at least a year since Tara ran away.



I hope Jessica followed Tara anyway and keeps that evil man right where it hurts the most and then some more. No need for scum like that to ever walk the streets again. Whatever he intends to do with Tara is unlikely to be nice so Tara better run or remember some spells pronto (the smoke spell from season4 would be good now).



Can't Tara get hurt... she's been through enough already. One way or the other Tara needs some fun and love in her life, she's way to miserable at the moment. Poor girl



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[WintersDreamer]

Oooh k....



1. Great set up and wonderfully suspenseful cliffhanger.

I think you've done a great job describing Willow's growing maturity and Tara's sense of being lost and alone.

Bravo!



Now ...DON'T YOU DARE LET TARA GO THROUGH WHAT I THINK YOUR GOING TO. (that made sense if you were me) NO BADNESS HAPPENING TO TARA! k ?

[halfsmile]

Oh MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!



U can't do this, please!!!



This fic is awesome.....but right now I'm really thinking about hurl myself off a bridge.



So how u can see I need a update really SOON!



bye and hurry

-Halfsmile-

[LostWithoutTara]

Oh no! I pray Tara will be okay and safe. Fantastic update; I'am anxiously awaiting more.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[Marilda]

Part Two



A New Beginning



Months Later





The apartment was nowhere near furnished. Boxes were stacked up on top of each other haphazardly and the walls were glaringly bare. They screamed for someone to color, decorate, or cover them. It was nowhere near completed, but it was theirs. Hers and Jessica’s, and it felt, for the first time in a very long time, like home.



“Are you going to stare at it all day or are you going to help me move the couch out of the doorway?” Jessica said.



Tara turned and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I just…” she gestured around the room, “got distracted, you know?”



Jessica smiled.



“It’s ours Jess, it really is.”



Jessica stood up from her hunched position at the far end of the couch. “Yeah, hon, it’s ours.” She smiled at Tara, understanding how important an accomplishment this was for the blonde. Not wanting to get too emotional, she mentally shook her head and decided to chastise her friend. “Now the question is do we want it to be the neighbors’ too? Because the couch in the middle of the doorway, it’s pretty much a free-for-all on the remote control.”



Tara laughed. “Okay, okay. I’m going.”







A short while later and all the furniture was inside the apartment, it wasn’t in any discernable pattern or design, but at least it was inside. The two girls sat down, exhausted, seemingly incapable of moving.



Jessica looked at Tara and finally asked the question that had been on her mind for the past couple of days. “Tara, are you happy?”



Tara gave a half-hearted attempt at sitting up and facing the other girl. After a couple of seconds, she decides it was a useless venture and instead opted to look toward Jessica’s general vicinity. She thought about the question for a moment. “You know, back in Sunny…, back where I used to live; I learned that it’s never a good idea to answer yes to that question. I-if you did, the universe usually took that as a challenge to screw you over, but…”



“Yeah?”



“I’m feeling a bit reckless.” Tara looked at the bemused expression of her roommate, then, using a seemingly reserve amount of energy, pushed herself off the couch and stood up. She sighed, “Here goes nothing.” She raised her hands over her head and yelled, “I’m happy!”



Jessica nodded sagely, trying to contain the laughter bubbling up inside her. She half-heartedly patted the space on the couch beside her, urging Tara to sit back down. That whole standing up and raising her arms, seemed like too much work to her. When Tara complied, Jessica said, “Good, you deserve it.”



Tara started to protest.



“You deserve it,” Jessica reiterated. “If anyone deserves happiness, it’s you. After everything you’ve been through, hell you deserve a lifetime supply.”



“I don’t think it works that way,” Tara said.



“Well, it should,” Jessica insisted.



“Just because you said so?” Tara asked, amused.



Jessica nodded wisely, “Just because I said so.”



Tara laughed, then moved over to Jessica and hugged her. Then, because the moment seemed to call for it, she ventured to talk about a subject that, for Jessica, was taboo.



“Jess, I want to thank you…”



“Tara.” Jessica warned.



“No, l-listen okay?”



Jessica looked away.



“Please?”



Jessica looked like she wanted to protest further, but Tara’s “please” effectively cut off her objections. She could never refuse Tara’s requests. She nodded for Tara to continue.



“I…” Tara paused, “That night. What you did. How you saved me, I just…thank you.”



“Tare you know you don’t…” Jessica began.



“You agreed to listen…” Tara reminded her.



Jessica sighed, “Okay.”



Tara continued, “I think, maybe if you hadn’t come to look for me. I think m-maybe I would have given up.”



Jessica turned her head sharply and looked at the blonde, “What do you mean?”



“I felt so lost. So hopeless. I-if, he um, had done…”



“Hon?”



Tara tried again, “If he had done what he planned, I would have given in to the hopelessness, I think. I wouldn’t have cared Jess, about anything.” She paused, feeling the tears sting the back of her eyes. “…even about my life,” She whispered, ashamed of the admission.



For a moment, there was silence. The tears stinging Tara eyes began flowing quietly and Jessica stared at the wall, too shocked to speak. After a moment, Jessica opened her mouth, “What did she do to you?”



Tara looked up, confused, “Huh? Who?”



“This Willow chick, what the hell did she do to you to make you want to end your own life?”



“No, no. You have it wrong,” Tara said.



“I have it wrong?! You just implied that you would have killed yourself. You didn’t get their on your own Tare, she lead you there.” Jessica stood up and began pacing the floor in front of the sofa. “Where is this Sunny place? I need to go there and kick this bitch’s ass.”



Tara looked up sharply, “Don’t call her that.” She said forcefully. “Don’t you dare.”



Jessica looked down at the blonde, surprised by the outburst, “But…”



Tara took a deep breath, “I think I need to explain.”



“What is there to explain Tare? She screwed you over.”



Tara shook her head. “Can you maybe…sit down? All that pacing is kinda making me dizzy.”



Jessica grudgingly took a seat.



Tara sighed and leaned her head back on the top of the couch. “When I left, W-Willow was addicted to mag…um, drugs.”



“Did she hurt you?” Jessica asked.



“Not in the way that you think. She ne-never laid a hand on me or abused me verbally. S-she would never do that.” Tara looked down at her hands, “She lied. She…broke my trust. I think maybe that was the problem.”



“What do you mean?”



“She was my world, Jess. Nothing she did was wrong…ever. And then one day, my world crumbled. Do you know what it’s like to have your world taken away?”



Jessica shook her head.



“I did the only thing I could do, and I left.”



“Good.”



“No, I-I think that’s where I was wrong.”



“What?” Jessica asked.



“I gave up. I w-wasn’t strong enough to stay and fight.”



“How is leaving a harmful situation giving up?”



“B-because when I was cra…sick, she stayed with me. She didn’t give up on me, even when our relationship must have been harmful to her.”



“I don’t think it’s the same thing.” Jessica said, shaking her head.



“Either way, I left. That’s why that night, I was ready to give up. Not because of what she did to me, but b-because of what I did to her.” Tara shook her head. “And I’ve gotten so far off t-topic. I w-wanted to say thank you. You gave me hope again. I know I messed up with her and she’s m-moved on, but I can still live my life, and I think a large part of that is b-because of you.”



Tara gave Jessica a crooked smile, signaling the end of her speech. She hoped the other girl would give up on the previous topic and take the “thank you” for what it was.



“Tare, I know you’ve not-so-subtlety changed the subject, but I think you’ve got this all wrong. Leaving was the right thing, hon. It was the brave thing to do.”



“I…”



Jessica raised her hand. “I’m not going to say anything else. I know how stubborn you can be.” She paused for a second. “Well, one more thing. Hon, you survived because of you. Not me. You did it Tare. You got out of the darkness you were in and you decided to…okay, this is going to sound corny, but, what the hell, you decided to let life in.”



“You were a big…”



Jessica shook her head. “No. You’re the one that found this apartment; you’re the one that is going to be a big-time curator at the museum. You did this, Tare. You are an exceptionally brave person.”



Tara felt the tears cover her eyes. “I don’t suppose arguing will help?”



Jessica shook her head.



“Okay then,” she said, resigned.” I am brave.”



“Damn straight!”



They looked at each other and laughed.



“Now,” Jessica began, “are you going to help me choose clothes for tonight’s date?”



Tara looked shocked. “Jess, I thought you hated what I wore.”



“Well, when I first met you? Duh! But lately, you’ve been getting better. It’s still funky, but now it’s more with the cool. Plus, you’re not wearing those god-awful skirts.”



Tara laughed, “That’s because you came into my old apartment while I was at work and threw them away.”



“I did no such thing!”



“Jess, I saw them on top of the garbage can when I was going into the building.”



Jessica pretended to be appalled by the accusation, “That wasn’t me!”



“Then who was it?”



Jessica thought for a second, “My guess? Fashion police.”



Tara looked up and swatted her friend on the arm playfully, “Of which you are the chief of.”



“No, the promotion hasn’t come through yet.”



Tara shook her head and stood up, “Okay, let’s get you ready.” She said, as she helped Jessica up. “What’s this guy’s name again?”



“Blah, who remembers? All I know is that his butt looked really cute at the club last night.”



“You’re hopeless.”



“I know.”

Edited by: Marilda at: 11/15/03 9:45 am

[intricate mirage]

Several months later? Interesting change of events. Interested to see how this all plays out eventually

~ Cassie

---

My fountain of strength that never runs dry

You are the shooting star across the midnight sky

[sabina]

Hi there



It's great to see an update of this fic, I missed it



So a few months have passed...

That stupid phone call!!



I wonder what Willow has done in the meantime...



Will our girls meet soon?

---

"I know I was born and I know that I'll die.

The in between is mine.

I am mine!" - Pearl Jam

[LostWithoutTara]

Intriguing update! I did try to post a big, detailed reply before, but my stupid laptop decided to eat the post and thus it vanished. Anyways, I like this a lot.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[Arwen276]

Yay! Tara was saved in time!!

Yay she's HAPPY!!

Umm Yay Jessica doesn't swing her way!

and umm she's funny too!



oh and WHEN IS THE LONG-CLAIMED REUNION?



~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[allykat]

Hi there



Just wanted to let you know that I'm really enjoying this fic!It's awesome!





More soon, I hope

[sam darls]

Hey...Ooh, I liked this update, it was so really sweet and just great. Love sammi xxx

[astrangerhere]

Hi, i've been a lurker for a very long time, if you want to know why i de-lurked, go look at my post in the intro thread.



as for your fic... i am drawn to the way you seem to be pushing more of a wedge between the characters. I am just waiting to see what it is that shatters that wedge.



The bit about Tara not feeling like leaving was the right thing... I have always liked different perspectives about this. I have worked with rehabbing addicts of all walks and everyone leaving them is sometimes what dries them out and sometimes what drives them mad. I am intetrested that you put the fear in Tara and the courage, per se, in Willow. Lookin forward to seeing where you go with it.



aly

[Marilda]

Hey kittens,



Sorry about the delay on the feedback, I was out of town.



Cassie I'm glad I've intrigued you. I know not a lot happened in this update, it was sort of a set up chapter and important, I think, to show the frame of mind of Tara's character.



sabina Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm a notoriously bad updater. Trying to find the time for fics is killer. The question of what Willow has been up to will be addressed soon. Thanks for reading, hon.



LostWithoutTara Hey, no big about losing the longer post. I do that all the time. I'm glad you liked it, even if the reasons why are stuck in computer hell.



Arwen HEE! Well, the reunion will be...um, soon. Don't know when the exact date is, but it will be soonish.



allycat I'm glad you like it!



sammi I'm glad you enjoyed the fic and found it sweet, hopefully it was less angst-filled than the previous post.



aly Thanks for the comments. I want to try to convey the mindset the girls have gone through since their breakup and their upcoming reunion, and make it as close to "reality" as possible. That I seem to be succeeding in some level is good news.

[Grimlock72]

I've sort of lost track of exactly how long ago Tara left Sunnydale (which by itself is a wise move I would dare say) but it must close to a year by now. The most important line to me in this update was

Quote:

---

“Now,” Jessica began, “are you going to help me choose clothes for tonight’s date?”

---

Feel free to figure out why : --> .



Leaving an addicated person has a good and bad side, usually a little of both. It might shock the addict out his/her drug-induced haze and back to reality. The bad part being that reality ain't nice, esp. not when coming from drug-haze-heaven. I would say Tara *leaving* wasn't a bad idea, it's the *staying* away which I have troubles with. Almost like she's afraid to go back but doesn't really know why.



I think it's not very usefull to ponder about previous desicions, take one now if you want but don't keep second guessing yourself. What-if's can ruin your life but good.



I like Jess' protective attitude, even though she's a bit too quick judging things she knows nothing about. She ought to learn to get more facts first and THEN decide what to do, not do the deciding BEFORE having facts at all Plus she saved Tara, which gets her lots of brownie points in my book :-)



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[Marilda]

Grimmy said:

The most important line to me in this update was

Quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Now,” Jessica began, “are you going to help me choose clothes for tonight’s date?”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Feel free to figure out why .

And I reply:



You know, for the life of me I can't figure it. Care to elaborate? I'll give you a virtual cookie!



P.S. Who knew freaking livejournal was so addictive!

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hey, Marilda~~ Sorry I've been a remiss li'l Kitten, but this is just a great story. Yes, it's all with the angst, but when it's written well, as this is, it pulls us in and makes us want more. I think that you're very effectively conveying the enduring aspect of their love. Lo these months later, and neither one can bring herself to get emotionally involved w/ anyone else. And ah, the near-miss of the phone call...God, even as I read I was screaming, "Don't hang up, Tara! Let her explain!" Then my cats gave me that one look that told me I was being just a little indecorous, so I stopped.



You have a really nice touch w/ understatement, too. You never wallop the reader over the head with a feeling, or a reaction. You show us, and let us see for ourselves, what these women are feeling. And I have to say, I'm with you on Tara's wardrobe. I mean, I love the woman (both the character and the actor) but for the love of Sappho, who was dressing her? Yikes!



And so I ask, might these falcons hear their falconers sometime soon, or are the rough beasts still slouching toward Bethlehem?



Great work, Marilda. I'm psyched to see what happens next.

Mary

[amberfan87]

when is the next update?!! love this fic