First Fic: Beholden (AU)

[WillowPowered]

Woohoo, an update. . .



I love this fic.



Jill

~~~~~~~~

Willow - Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?



My Home Page



“Bite me” - the general, all-purpose response suitable for all occasions.

[hush30]

Hey Mai,



It is so good to have you back I was only going to check for an update from you another 200 times before doing this What can I say I'm a fan of your beautiful writing and 'cliffhangy' story



Nan

"I think this line's mostly filler" - Willow in OMWF

"Not really much for the timber" - Tara

[Grimlock72]

Weeeeeee.... had to reread part of this fic, has been a while :-) Poor Tara is still confused and upset. I think some talking between our two girls could easily solve most problems and misconceptions.



Heh, Willow of course doesn't understand what's happening... fun to read her wondering if she skipped a class in kindergarten. For some reason I doubt Willow would EVER skip a class though



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[bluewillowwitch]

,

Welcme back! Ilove this fic! What away to wake up! . I can't wait to more and see what happens when walks in to the room and looks at . Update soon, please?





bluewillowwitch

---------------------------------------------

"Fate keeps on happening."--Anita Loos

[Incitatua 8]

YAY, you have returned. This lovely, charming, and intriguing story has been neglected far too long. It has enough dust bunnies on it to make Anya scream! Please do try to finish it. I have faithfully checked on it for so long. I need to be rewarded...so write more soon!

[good2cats]

Hi,
I was delighted to see this fic return.I had given up hope.Thanks for picking it up again and please continue.
Be well,Karen

[Draco119]

HI! I'm so glad that you updated. I just love this fic! The part where Willow reads all the notes that Tara wrote to her gets me every time.

Keep up the great work and I hope to more of this awesome fic soon.

[willowsgirl]

Im agreeing with everone else, Im sooooo happy this fic is back! When I first founf this board this fic was the one that I read over and over cos its just so good; I know what draco119 means, those notes make me cry!

update soon, pretty please *bats eyelashes*



willowsgirl xx

[undertheirspell]

I just finished what you have posted so far and I cant wait to read more.

Gina.



----------

"The only thing that matters is just following your heart and eventually you'll get it right." ~~~ In This Diary, By - The Ataris

[good2cats]

Hi,
This is a fic is a gut twister.It is painful to watch Willow and Tara dance around each other unable to just go for it.Please relieve us and rescue us from our suffering.Update soon please.Cliffhangers are hell to endure.
Be well,Karen

[cinderlust]

hot monkey luv 66 Thanks! I'm just glad the readers haven't abandoned this fic yet... it's what pushed me to continue. Hope you enjoy the rest of it.



Red Jassy hey you. Kept seeing your name on this thread. Your patience and insistence are 2 of the reasons why i decided to pick this thing up again. Thanks for your continued support.



Little M Yeeehah! Hehe. I forgot how much fun I had in writing this fic... so it's all of the good writing again. Thanks!



shuyaku Thank you. Thank you. Glad you're still reading... and please on. enjoy!



Arwen276 More on the way. Hehe. Sorry for the little break in between again. Work's been pretty hectic lately, but seeing as i'm on a short break, updates might come a little faster from now... Thanks again.



Sleek Hey you! Do you know how evil you've been with 'Three Words'? Of course you do. And I bet you're enjoying yourself oh 'mistress of evil cliffhangers'. I so wanna be like you when I grow up! Hehe. I've been trying not to read 'Three Words' btw... waiting til it's all done. mwahahahah. I love all your stories.



sabina Wow. That must've been a long time ago.. you're a 'flaming O' now... Glad you're still reading. Thanks!



WillowPowered Yeah. I wooohoo'd too after I finished that update. It was difficult to try and write in the same vein, but hopefully you'll still enjoy the rest of the story.



hush30 Nan! Hey you, my gutter friend. hehe. sorry to keep you waiting for so long, but not to worry... them cliffhangers are back to haunt you. hah! Enjoy the ride!



Grimlock72 Hey Grimmy. Yeah. Talking. Uh-huh. Hopefully it'll clear some things. Robert Fulghum's book, "All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten" just popped into my head. My cousin used to read his stuff back in college... I never did, but the title intrigued me. It bumped me in the head when I wrote that bit. heh.



bluewillowwitch Updating soon. Hmmmm. I wonder what'll happen when Tara enters the room... gotta go and ask my muse.



Incitatua 8 Yes, I have returned to rid this thread of dust bunnies with my extra powerful hoover! hah! Just try and fly by me, you evil dust bunnies! And btw, thank you for checking on it from time to time - something I feared to do in case hexes and evil smileys prevailed. Hope you enjoy the next bit.





good2cats Hi Karen... yeah, it's been awhile, but my career sorta took off for a bit there... i'm taking a short break and one of the things i'm definitely doing is writing this thing. Thanks for clinging on to the hope that this would continue. I warn you though, it'll be a long and slow process before our girls finally get to where we all want them to be. Hope you stick around.



Draco119 The notes. Yeah... they get me too... first hand experience... sigh... I was the one who sent the notes. I was such a geek. Not that I'm no longer one... still am. certifiable. bona fide geek here. Glad you're enjoying the story. Please keep on reading. Thanks!



willowsgirl Hi there. Wow. Didn't think there'd be anyone reading this story over and over. Thank you for the feedback and sorry I made you with the notes. I'm definitely continuing so sit back and relax - it's gonna be a bumpy ride!



undertheirspell Hey Gina. Glad you enjoyed the story. More to come. Thanks for the feedback!



Thanks again everyone!

Mai

[cinderlust]

Disclaimers and summary in Part 1.



Feedback is greatly welcome... pretty please? Thanks for continuing on reading kittens!



Sorry that things are developing so slowly between the two witches. I just can't write it otherwise.

---

Memories, fragments of scenes peppered with emotion that make up a life.



A redhead sat morosely pondering the morning’s events, her mind drifting to endless days of waking up to the same need- Tara. She looked around, loosely drawn to familiar objects, drifting deeper and deeper until her mind was in the vice grip of the past.









Willow sat on the edge of Tara’s bed, her feet dangling a few centimeters off the floor. Tara sat beside her, generous with the faint touches and irresistible half smile. The room was dimly lit, illuminated only by candles at each corner. The remnants of a spell lay before them. Willow’s toe lazily traced patterns on the multicolored sand.



“That looks like a fluffy sheep with a moose head.”



Willow looked down at her puffy cloud gone awry. Tara’s giggle permeated her senses. Her eyelids drifted shut as if she tasted something exquisite. She let the moment wash over her before slowly turning to the blonde, a giddy smile gracing her lips.



She watched Tara closely. Her mind taking snapshots of the way the other girl’s hair cascaded gracefully, the blossom of a smile on those sexy, sensuous lips, the minutest crinkling of her nose at each expression change.



Tara self consciously rearranged her hair. “What is it? Is something on my face?”



Willow bit her lower lip in answer and shook her head. “You’re beautiful.”

The words were out before she even realized what the electrical impulses in her brain were up to.



Tara ducked her head in answer. A movement that Willow found so seductively enigmatic. “I mean, I wish I had your hair… it’s…” Willow’s valiant attempt at covering up the blunder was left hanging as Tara chose that moment to let her off the hook with a melting lopsided grin.



At that moment, Willow Rosenberg realized how deeply she cared for her friend. A supernova of joy and hope began in her chest, turning at great speed. It grew in size and pressure built – compressing, compounding and eliminating everything else in sight until she was overwhelmed with joy. She was just so happy. It was unbelievable. Sitting there with Tara, doing absolutely nothing in particular was the most perfect thing in the world.



Willow suddenly felt restless, unsettled. She needed to tell Tara how she felt or she’ll burst into a million pieces. She felt the bubble expand within and it made her want to dance or run across the quad and scream at the top of her lungs that she loves Tara, worships and adores her. She expelled her breath quietly, hoping she could hold the feelings that threatened to spill over.



“You make me happy.”



Willow was frozen. Her lips which had released the words remained parted. “I don’t know where that came from… except that you do…. make me happy just by being my friend. You keep a part of my heart quiet… like it doesn’t have to do or say anything just to be happy.”



Willow kept her eyes on the multicolored sand, fearing what she might see on Tara’s face. Her toes fidgeted with an abstract shape while her hands gripped the bed. The supernova within had fizzled out in mid-sentence. She felt movement on the bed and thought that Tara was leaving her there. She gripped the bed harder. Just when she was about to make a dash for the door, she felt an odd sensation on her arm and realized that Tara was leaning dangerously close to the edge of the bed. She watched with detached fascination as her friend laid her head on her lap. Tara often slept this way, saying it was safest spot in the world. Willow almost died with the need to lean down and cover her friend’s body with hers. The scent of vanilla and soft warmth were like a siren to her soul. Instead, she satisfied herself by allowing her fingers caress Tara’s hair.



“Willow, sweetie, you’re my smile. Bad hair days, root canals and even my dad can’t keep me down when you’re around. And see, you made me rhyme” She giggled in that thrilling way she always does.



With Tara’s head on her lap and those words in the air, Willow felt the supernova stir awake.









Willow was still smiling giddily into space as Tara waved her hands in front of her friend’s face.



“Willow? Willow?” Tara kneeled as she peered closer.



“Willow, sweetie? Where’d you go?”



Willow blinked her eyes and refocused on her surroundings. Tara’s face was so close. She reached up and played with a lock of stray blonde hair before tucking it behind Tara’s ear.



“Where were you?”



“Huh? I was right here… Well, I was until I was skillfully lured by Mr. Snuggly for a visit.” She pointed at Tara’s favorite bear.



Tara smiled and made herself comfortable on the bed facing Willow. “You promised we could talk.” She said simply.

[Arwen276]

Yay! It's back!

The memory was so cute!

I wonder what will happen at "the talk" ... hope Willow will admit her feelings and get an answer once and for all...

She's suffering from bottling up her feelings, lest they get away and scare Tara!





~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[sabina]

An update



It was such a sweet memory



I'm curious about how will their talk go... Tara is confused and Willow is probably still scared. I hope evrything turns out all right



I'll be here waiting anxiously for an update



More soon?

---

"I know I was born and I know that I'll die.

The in between is mine.

I am mine!" - Pearl Jam

[Sleek]

Mai,



Deal's this: YOU WILL STOP MAKING NEFARIOUS CLIFFHANGERS!!!!



And I, will continue writing "Three Words" as I please.



Beautiful update,

Sleek. By the way, officially -- YOU'RE the Mistress of Cliffies.

[Incitatua 8]

Let's hear it for "Hoover Power"!

You can be sure that I'll be checking back for ..."the talk".

I hope Tara will give Willow a little break and express her feelings too! Thanks for the update... and keep that hoover running please.

[Draco119]

This was a great update!



Willow's flashback was so sweet. Was that the first time that she realized that she was in love with Tara?



And now Willow and Tara will have "The Talk"



I can't wait to read what happens next. Update soon! Please!

[Red Jassy]

hey

yay! an update.. thanks so much.

heheh yeah.. im often here on the board. reading wonderful fics such as yours and hoping the fics continue until the end ..

I love your story because i've been there where you love your bestfriend or friend but afraid to tell that person.But i did tell her after sometime. Unfortunately, for me things didn't go well. We end up having kisses then stopped. Co'z she wanted only to be friends. Sucks to be me...



Thanks again for this inspiring fic. I hope i'd find a willow/tara for me



Humble reader ,

Red Jassy

---

Cause you were made for me/Somehow I'll make you see/How happy you make me


I can't live this life/Without you by my side/I need you to survive
So stay with me/You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside/that I'm sorry. » Evanescence

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hey, Mai~~ I'm so glad you're back, and updating when you can. I love the forays into their minds, and the recollections they have of such precious moments. You capture very well the emotional tone of them both, and it just makes them come alive. (Of course, that's much better than coming dead, but that's probably not necessary to point out.) So count me among those who eagerly (yet patiently) await future installments.



Take care,

Mary

[Spot]

Hey. Oh my god, this is such a great fic. please forgive me for not finding it before now. I saw it mentioned in a reply to another story, and i had to check it out... soooo glad that i did. You write it really beautifully, i love it so much. Cant wait for more.

-michelle

"Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, and trusting them not to."

[willow fan7]

Hi,



Just wanted to say how happy i am to see updates!!! YIPPEE!!! Hope there's more to come...



I really love your style of writing...I know it was a long time ago, but those little letters from Tara to Willow really touched my heart... I especially loved the 'Do you miss me?' scenes..



This is a really beautiful fic...Hope there are more updates to come...

[bluewillowwitch]

cinderlust ,

YAY! Your back! I love the update! and are just to cute. . I can't wait to more and see how the talking goes. Update soon, please?







bluewillowwitch

----------------------------------------

"Fate keeps on happening."--Anita Loos

[shuyaku]

“You promised we could talk.” She said simply. Yes, talking is good - let's get to the talking.



At least Tara seems ready to start asking the questions, which can lead to answers, which can lead to smoochies. Well, eventually anyway



<--- My real happy dance isn't quite that cute, but it'll do

-shuyaku

------------------------------------

"Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[allykat]

Awww... This is an amazing story! !

I'm loving it!



I'm really curious about the "talk"...

[thebardgirl]

Wait, wait, hold on a darn tootin' minute here....wait a DAMN second now.... i'm thoroughly pissed now...really...i mean...okay i FOUND this fic like a LONG time ago, and nobody...nobody....not even my dog told me that it was still here, let alone, being updated again????!!!!! *starts to cry feebly* i've been waiting for this fic to be updated for soooooooo long, couldn't find it when i wanted to reply...and all of a sudden "HELLO!" it's here and now, i'm replying and all is well with the world, however i have tear stains on my shirt now, and i'm sending you, you fantastic writer you, the bill for the dry cleaning......



.........this fic hits so close to home that i think you exploded my house. i can't explain what emotions it pulled out of me. Not to mention that it also was updated TWICE when i was unaware of it....*growls angrilly* okay...i'm okay...oh and hi cinderlust! i'm Elizabeth....the strange, growly, shakespeare person thing...

so...i love it? is that a happy way to say keep updating? cause i swear on my goldfishes' grave...i don't know how to finish that sentence...

thanks for such a lovely story and updating it!

-elizabeth

Last night in sweet slumber I dreamed I did see my own precious jewel sat smiling by me.

And when I awakened I found it not so; my eyes like some fountain with tears overflowed.

[cinderlust]

Hi all... yes, I disappeared again... left you all hanging and miserable ... apologies for my behavior Thanks for all the feedback! Individual replies to follow. Hope you enjoy this!

---

A surgeon holds a scalpel to her patient’s flesh. A lovelorn teen stands on his balcony – 15 stories high. A man pauses outside a jewelry shop and stares at a ring. Time watches with detached eyes and nonchalantly passes.



Crucial. Willow’s mind called out to her. She listened to the ticking of each second, the sound of her breathing, her heartbeat… until everything created a strange rhythm. Somewhere in the midst of this, Tara’s presence finally lent a blanket of calm.



Willow’s eyes finally stopped darting around the room and settled on the familiar azure pair regarding her patiently.



“This talk”, she began, “does it involve, you know, actual words coherently strung together? In English? Coz’ you know, I read somewhere that speaking in Mandarin actually uses more of your brain. I’ve thought of using that as an exercise to increase my thinking faculties… either that or listening to Mozart, which is touted to increase your IQ by a maximum of 5 points due to the mathematical…”



Willow trailed off as she noticed Tara’s lopsided smile. “But you probably already knew that.”



“Uhmm.” Tara shrugged. For some reason, she couldn’t get her eyes off her friend’s lips. “They’re cracky.”



“What?” Willow was confused. She wondered if they were still talking about Mozart. “Composers?”



“Your lips.” Tara self-consciously averted her gaze to Willow’s determined chin.



“Oh. Geez. Xander once said that lips start cracking and rotting by the time you’re 18 and you still haven’t had your first kiss.” Willow looked up, eyes wide, lips twitching. She didn’t know where to put her lips and fought the inner battle to cover it with her hands for fear the action would draw more attention.



“Yeah?” Tara’s voice came out squeaky. She cleared her throat. Her eyes were once more helplessly drawn to the redhead’s delectable lips. Delectable??? “S-so are we talking about kissing now? I thought this would be about us?” Where she found the courage to steer the conversation away, she didn’t know. Then again, it could have been fear that drove it.



“Us? There’s an us? And kissing?” A kissing us? “You Tara. Me Willow. I see a clear ‘we’ but ‘us’?”



“The difference?” Tara was learning another Willow-ism.



“Well… you see… there’s the uhm, ‘we’re friends’ we and the uhm, ‘just the two of us’ us.” Willow stated unsure of where this conversation was going.



“Oh.” Tara looked at Willow, wondering if she should plunge headlong into what they really needed to talk about. She saw the opening and took it. “Have you ever thought of an ‘us’?” Tara felt her heart jumpstart as soon as the question was out. I shouldn’t have asked that!



Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Willow’s brain kept on stumbling at the same spot. Tara was regarding her like a hawk watching its prey. “No!” She finally managed to squeeze out. She couldn’t look up. She stared at the bedcover intently and missed the blonde’s quivering lips. “What made you think that? I mean, is it because I’m gay? And the staring? You don’t have to worry Tara. I mean, I won’t take advantage of this friendship. I might be a desperate 20-year old lesbian with rotting lips…”



Tara, who had been stunned into silence and choked up with emotion, finally managed a word, “stop!” A tear rolled down her cheek, just as she got Willow’s attention. “That’s not what I meant.”



“I left, Tara… I needed to clear my head… and I came back because you wrote me… so many notes. What do they mean?” Willow was sobbing now. She was plummeting fast and had nothing to hold onto.



“I missed you. We always do things together…” It was more than that, but she couldn’t seem to find the real answers. Her heart was pounding, emotion after emotion assaulting it. Her tears flowed freely, unchecked.



Suddenly, things were made extremely clear to the redhead. I’m her best-friend. The words appeared in her mind in bold, underlined and encircled - in big red strokes. Her shoulders slumped, defeated. She had unwittingly opened Pandora’s box and found Hope trampled and dead at the bottom. Slowly, as though her hands were weighed down, she reached up. Her eyes showed all the love she had for Tara, allowing her one last glimpse of what she had to offer. As her hand cupped the blonde’s cheek to wipe away the tears, Tara froze. Willow’s jaw steeled, she withdrew her hand as if scalded, muttered “I’m sorry.” and ran again…this time, away from Tara.

[tinnakaren]

Oh my god, you're killing me...slowly, and excruciatingly painfully killing me.



And yet, I keep coming back for more...damn your fantabulous writing and compelling narrative form

--------------------------

Tinna Karen

-tölvunörd í fyrsta ættlið

[Arwen276]

I second the killing me part...

and the keep coming back for more part!



MORE!!!





~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[Red Jassy]

geez.. all the drama.. sniff... sniff.. its killing me.

but the update is great. thanks.

i love the fic. thank you again.



still your humble reader,

red jassy

---

Cause you were made for me/Somehow I'll make you see/How happy you make me


I can't live this life/Without you by my side/I need you to survive
So stay with me/You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside/that I'm sorry. » Evanescence

[sam darls]

Hey Mai...I've just read all of this, and I love it soo much.. . It is so beautiful..Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)