Fic: Fractured

[Marilda]

Grimmy Um, I hope the next update explained Dawn's actions. I hope that they explained things better. It kind of worries me that you think her actions and her words don't correlate. If that's the case, then I'm messing up in the writing somehow.



Aaron - Computer nerds are totally in. I was going to be a computer nerd, and then I decided to be a low-paying academic nerd. They're not so much with the in, but I think they're still cool. Um, hopefully.



lipkandy Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed it and that I managed to pull it off. I was worried that the whole dialogue between the two would blow up in my face.



Aaron You're such a troublemaker!! What with the bringing up the other story I have out of fic oblivion and making me feel all guilty for not having updated in forever. I could just...



Thanks. I needed a good kick in the butt. You made me interested in finishing the story again.



As for this story, I'm glad that you enjoyed it, as I've come to realize that I value your opinion greatly.



elizabeth Hey. It's good to know that the abandonment bonding thing rang true to you. I think that would be right though, they both would be feeling abandoned and so it would make sense for them to realize it and bond over it. Thanks for reading and commenting on the story. I appreciate it.



allykat Aww. You're making me blush.



Thanks for the kind words! I'm glad that you liked the update.



Arwen Thank you. More will come soon.



sabina Hi. Thanks. More soon.



sammi Hee. I loved writing it! Well, no that's not true. Writing is painful and hard, but strangely fullfilling and completely consuming. I loved that I wrote it, how about that?



Grimmy Hey, I've been under the assumption that Tara left after "Tabula Rasa" so she left pretty much according to canon. In which case, she does know about the forget spell. Hope that clears things up.



She mentions their fight at the Bronze?



cutie pie Cool. Thanks for reading. I like your nick.



Aine Awesome.



xita I couldn't agree more. In fact, we should all have a little Tara in our lives. It would just make the world so much easier to be in.



Ashley

Quote:

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Hopefully you will be able to provide more for us soon - which will include some Willow/Tara goodness, maybe ... possibly?

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Definitely. Just not right away, right away. I can't have them jump on each other just quite yet, it would interrupt the flow of the story a bit.

[Grimlock72]

Marilda wrote:

Quote:

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It kind of worries me that you think her actions and her words don't correlate. If that's the case, then I'm messing up in the writing somehow.

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No no... nothing wrong with the actual writing. It's just that I do understand Dawn's reasoning, just don't agree with her decision (it IS something she would do so writing isn't at fault here!). Mostly because I feel Willow has a right to know as much about Tara as possible, and we all know where being secritive leads to in Scooby-land It doesn't exactly instill trust in people either if the sneak away like that.



As for Tara mentioning their fight in the Bronze, I read that wrong... that was a line ('uch as the fateful night at the club') about another club-related incident entirely... silly me .



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 1/1/04 6:50 am

[allykat]

Hey Marilda!!



I miss this fic I was listening to the Norah Jones cd just now and what was playing? The nearness the you... Of course, it remided me of this fic... I would love an update... Pretty please?? This is an awesome fic!

[Marilda]

Hey kittens! I finally have a break in my schedule. Which means that 1) I'm going to get lots and lots of sleep and 2) I'll have an update by this weekend. YEah!



I'm excited, I've missed writing this story. That is all.

[xeembiote]

still waiting for an update....

[SnuggleVixen]

Hi

Just caught up with the fic.!! I absolutly adore it!!

I've noticed that you havn't updated in a while please do soon!!

[ApplesauceHorsies]

Okay--first off....wow. I LOVE, love, love this fic!





Second--I just spent an hour and a half delaying much needed sleep to read it. (Not important really, but just wanted you to know how much I loved it. )



Third--Update? Near-future-ish? Please?

-AH

Et je saigne encore, tout ce rouge sur mon corps, je te blesse dans un dernier effort

[mollyig]

I've spent the last while reading this story, and I really like the scenario you've set up. Our girls attempting to carry on with their lives despite their separation, and the chance meeting showing them exactly what they've been missing.



Looking forward to reading more of this when you get the chance to update.

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"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

[Marilda]

Hey, all. Here is a short update. I'll have the rest of it up tomorrow. Thanks for the continued feedback and the words of encouragement. I appreciate it all. Hope you enjoy.







Why is it that we’re always so reticent right before the big moments? Before the moments that will alter your life? Why can’t we just jump in and let the changes happen, let things take their course?



Willow sat on the steps of the back porch of the main house, the cordless phone held tightly in her hand. She looked distractingly out at the yard, watching as Xander innocently flirted with one of the mini-slayers (as the core Scoobies had taken to calling them) and Buffy finished with a training session of most of the others. She frowned down at the phone and both willed it to ring and not ring at the same time.



“She still hasn’t called?”



Willow looked up at Buffy and shook her head. Buffy sat down next to her and hugged her lightly.



“It’s early yet. Maybe she had classes?”



“Yeah, maybe.”



Buffy wiped her brow with the towel around her neck and looked at Willow intently.



“Do you want her to call?”



Willow looked up, shocked, “Of course I do!”



Buffy just raised her eyebrows.



“Well, I think I do. I just…”



“Will, what is it?”



Willow looked at the phone then back up at Buffy again. “I’m a spaz, Buffy. There are all these rules that I should be following you know? A book that I should have memorized, something like ‘Etiquette for Ex-Lovers” and I didn’t even skim through it! I saw her and all I wanted to do was kiss her senseless. I know there are so many things to talk about, and I know that we aren’t together anymore, but I can’t seem to see past her being here.”



Buffy rubbed Willow’s back soothingly. “Why is that such a problem?”



“Because she might not feel the same way. In fact, I’m sure she doesn’t. Why should she?”



“Will, of course she still…”



“But, I don’t want to ruin it. I want her back, Buffy. But I don’t want to pressure her. What if she just wants to be friends? I have to handle it, don’t I? I have to get all my emotions under control.”



“And you can’t seem to do that.”



Willow nodded, “Exactly. How am I supposed to be ‘just friends’ with her if I just want to take her in my arms and neck all the time?”



“Will, do you love her?”



Willow gripped the phone tighter then looked at Buffy in the eyes, “All my life, I’ve never loved anything or anyone more.”



The both looked down at Willow’s hands as the phone rang. Buffy stood up and squeezed Willow’s shoulder. “Then you’ll be fine. You care about her enough to let her lead the way.”



The phone rang again and Buffy walked inside the house. Willow took a deep breath and hit the talk button, “Hello?”

[sam darls]

ooh yay..an update.. And a wonderul one..I loved it. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[ApplesauceHorsies]

*cries* AWWWWWW. I feel Willow's pain. Oh *puh-lease* let it be Tara on the phone!!! Yay for updates!



-AH

Et je saigne encore, tout ce rouge sur mon corps, je te blesse dans un dernier effort

[Aine]

Woohoo!!!!! i loved the long awaited update. can't wait to see if it's tara on the phone or not....more angst ahead am i right? 'scool...well please don't take tooooooo long on the next update. well luck with the writing.



stace

[shuyaku]

An update - YAY! And remember, size doesn't matter Poor Willow - thinking that Tara doesn't love her still (although after Tara's reaction, it is kind of unstandable).



Great update

-shuyaku

Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[russ]

Marilda, I just wanted to say how pleased I am to see the return of this story. It is a beautifully written tale, and has been missed.



Re-reading it tonight from the beginning, I realize how far both Willow & Tara have come since the break-up. They have matured, overcome personal devils, and made lives for themselves. All that is needed for their lives to be complete is each other. While there is still much to deal with, their instincts are leading them in the right direction. With the support they are receiving from Dawn & Buffy to keep them on an even keel, they'll be ok. I really love stories where Buffy is insightful and supportive, perhaps because we saw so little of it on the series, even though we knew she had it in her.



Good ol' spaz Willow, worried because she hasn't memorized the rule book. This is a time for healing, not rules.



Looking forward to the next installment.



Russ

[TaraBaby77]

WAHOO!!!! Great update. So what happens next??? What does Willow say on the phone??? Okay, I am going crazy here, need another update soon. Great work, keep it up and I hope to see more soon. =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[Marilda]

Yeah, so I lied about the whole next-day update thing. I'm so sorry. Anway, here is the next part. Although it's a bit cliff-hangery.



Thanks for all the lovely feedback, I appreciate it so much. I'll respond individually to it soon.







And so it began: the reconnection of old lovers. Soft sighs and hesitant fluctuations. Awkward silences and sudden bursts of breath. They were getting to know each other again, through their sentences, through their voices. Through the things said and not said. It was as simple and as difficult as a phone call.



At the end of it, a date emerged, although they had both been careful not to call it that. What was it that Willow said? A coincidental arrangement. They were meeting by chance on purpose. Tara didn’t care as much about the naming of the thing as she did that everything would turn out okay. Since hanging up the phone she had slowly been working herself up into what was now a full-blown panic attack. About what to wear, about what they would say, about how she would behave. She had this terrible image in her head of walking up to Willow and Willow running away at her inadequacy.



It was ridiculous. She’d seen Willow not a day before. She’d held her in her arms. And yet, this felt like the first time. In a way, it was. Yesterday was the shock of reappearance. Today? Well today would be about discovery. She knew Willow was going to be there on a banner of truce and a chance for a rekindled friendship.



Tara? Tara was going for redemption. Redemption for her perceived harms against the tiny redhead. For the guilt that she felt toward her abandonment. And, if she were honest with herself, she was also going to see if something else was still alive. To see if, despite everything she put the other girl through, it was still possible to be loved.



She looked down at the pile of clothes on her bed and fought the urge to scream. Instead she walked toward the phone and dialed Jessica’s number, intent on getting her friend’s help through this ordeal.







Willow sat at the coffee shop nervously shaking her leg. She looked down at her empty cup of coffee and contemplated getting another cup. She had gotten their a little early. Well, about forty minutes. And now, after her second cup of coffee, she was also a little jittery. She tried to talk herself out of a third, but looking at the clock and seeing that she still had a good fifteen minutes left, she decided to go for broke.



After procuring the caffeinated beverage she once again set to the task of mentally preparing topics of conversation. She would let Tara dictate, she told herself firmly, but if any silences began to emerge she’d be ready. She had in her head a variety of things to discuss ranging from the lighthearted to the heavy. She didn’t know what kind of talk this was to be, if it was meant to be a full-on heart-to-heart wherein each witch talked in length about their experiences since they’d both been in Sunnydale or if it was more about testing the waters. Either way she was ready.



She was also nervous. She looked down at her hands and mentally gave them the lecture about behavior. They were not permitted to touch Tara, she told them firmly. They were not permitted to do anything that might endanger her tenuous position as Tara’s maybe-friend. She closed her eyes and gave them a firm talking-to as well. Reminding them that they were keep their gaze fixed to Tara’s face. Preferably her eyes. They were not to roam down her body nor were they allowed to fixate on her mouth or ears. They were to convey interest, yes. But not lechery. In fact, it might be prudent if they found a spot directly behind Tara to look at instead. One that was still within Tara’s line of sight, but one that could distract them from getting lost in the look of the other girl.



It was while trying to find the perfect spot that she saw her. Her breath hitched and she unconsciously licked her lips—damn, she forgot to talk to them. Tara looked…radiant. She looked beautiful, ethereal, and perfect. She clenched her hands on the coffee cup and prayed to whatever deity was listening to make her body and her emotions behave. To just let her get through this meeting without making Tara uncomfortable or herself embarrassed.



She took a deep breath and made to get out of her chair. The woman enfolding Tara in a hug made her stop mid-movement. She was attractive, about Tara’s age and, from the comfortable way that Tara hugged her back, the luckiest woman on earth.



Willow sat down with a flop, tears momentarily fighting to break free. She tried to push them back. If Tara was happy with that woman, then she was happy, she told herself, albeit non-convincingly. She looked down uninterestedly at her coffee cup, feeling the mending flesh of her heart tearing once more. It seemed that she had lost the battle for Tara’s renewed affections before she’d even begun.



She felt a hand on her arm and looked up with tear-filled eyes.



Tara stared back at her, her expression confused. “Willow? What’s wrong?”

[sabina]

Hi there



It's great to see this story back



Poor Willow... She is jumping at conclusions but after so much waiting I guess I can't blame her for feeling crushed by seeing another woman hug Tara.



More soon?

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"I know I was born and I know that I'll die.

The in between is mine.

I am mine!" - Pearl Jam

[Arwen276]

oh what a mess!!



Willow is in a tricky situation , she can't tell Tara what's gotten her so upset!



Can't wait for more!!





~Arwen



ps: 3 coffees before a 'date' ? bad NO NO! Willow should know better then that!

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

[sam darls]

Wow..that was so good. Poor willow Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[WhiteSkyFire]

awwww.. you so didn't stop there! Ok, so you did.. meanie! heheh..sorry.. I really like your story hope to see more soon.



Sky

[xeembiote]

you updated! you updated! *jumps up and down* now i want more!

[WintersDreamer]

Poor Willow all that angst and caffine in one shot!



I really enjoyed the last 2 updates ....short and sweet!



Looking forward to more!

[shuyaku]

I forgot that with the return of all of the fabulous fics, comes the return of the quest of Cliffhanger Queen



Poor Willow - her emotions are just everywhere. Although her internal chats with various body parts was extremely cute. Now she just really needs to 'chat' with Tara!



More soon

-shuyaku

Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[veiled isis moon]

Awwwwwww poor Willow getting all emotional seeing Tara with another woman, even if it did seem inocent but Willow has to realise that it's been two years since she last saw her, so she's bound to have new people in her life.



I love stories that build up the tension and excitement of them getting back together, it's no fun otherwise! Even if the cliffhangers do drive me insane and leave me with no hair, it makes the story much more readable and interesting.



I hate seeing Willow all teary so i hope Tara can make her feel a little better even though they have lots of issues to sort through.



Don't suppose there's any chance of an update soon?? Pleeeeeeease!! x

[mollyig]

So glad our girls agreed on a "coincidental arrangement" - I can definitely imagine Willow coming up with that! Despite their uncertainty and fear, both recognise that they need to see each other again, to find out if the connection between them remains.



Also, I think it's typical of the organised Willow to arrive so early to the meeting, so well done for writing in this trait.

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"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

[Aine]

awe, how heartbreaking for willow. she thinks that tara has moved on. oh ray please update soon, i'm at the edge of my seat...and if you wait too long, i just might fall off...great fic.



stacey

[AntigoneUnbound]

And again, Marilda, I have to apologize for my delay. But oh, how I revelled in your description of Willow at the coffee shop. Woman, you nailed that experience so perfectly: waiting for the beloved, wondering what will transpire, trying to prepare yourself for any eventuality...And how inspired, to have her talk to her own body. It's vintage Willow; absolutely perfect. She would convey interest, not lechery...maybe not even look at her face at all, but rather some point on the wall...



And then, as Tara approaches...a sudden obstacle. Tara's reaction upon seeing Willow's tears makes me think that this won't be an obstacle in the true sense of the word, but your timing and structure in that moment was wonderful.



I hope things are going well for you, and that the GRE's didn't blow too noxiously.



Mary

[Puff]

Hi Marilda. First of all let me apologize for being tardy and joining this fic late. I read this story today and I've really enjoyed what has been written so far. I loved Willow's conversation to herself, that made me giggle. Especially when that all fell apart when she saw Tara and she remembered that she hadn't had a talk to her lips. I hope that Willow and Tara are able to have the start of the conversations that they need to have. I can't wait to read more.

---

So, the day started and I knew my name and had my pants on. So far, so good. Yay.
Amber Benson

[Grimlock72]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............ this story has survived the newyear after all it seems Good, good.



Well it did take them long enough to arrange for this accidental meeting, and yeah Willow *would* worry about the name. Since Willow is still in her seat and Tara has reached her I suspect the girlfriend problem will soon be resolved. I was afraid Willow would bolt and run away, good thing she didn't. Not fun to see Willow cry though, nope...



The entire scene of Willow prepping herself in the restaurant (being horrendously early for starters) and lecturing her body parts was funny. And she forgot her lips/tongue ;-). I can imagine the fretting, of both girl.



Good to see you back!



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[veiled isis moon]

Hi hows you? I've really been missing this fic, any chance of an update soon, pretty please???



Michelle.x