The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 5:14 pm 
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32. Kisses and Gay Love
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Clare – Well hello and thanks for reviving this thread. I am always so thrilled when my inbox dings with a notice of feedback to one of my old fics and since this is one of my very favorites, I especially love dings like this.



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I do read some fiction with a fantasy setting, but I’m often disappointed when authors get so caught up in the details of the world they have created that they neglect the characterization and drama of the story.
Interesting. I actually read very little fantasy. My wife, however, is a fantasy addict. I think she owns more books by Mercedes Lackey and people like that than I own all together and I have a B.A. and M.A. in English Literature. I’ve read probably 10 fantasy books if you count TLOTR as well. Still, I appreciate your comment that my descriptions of the culture and customes don’t overwhelm.



I’m glad you liked the first-person narration. I felt that it was truly the only way to go and make the story work. At the same time, I felt it became quite problematic when the history of the narration reached the present day. When Faith knocks on the door, I felt like the narration became much more troubling. Suddenly we have Tara narrating events in real-time. To me that part felt awkward.



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Seeing so little of Dani and not knowing her true feelings creates a wonderful imaginative space for the reader to inhabit.
That was very intentional. I wanted the reader to be able to understand more than Tara even through her narration.



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For me, on second reading anyway, the pivotal moment is when Dani is distraught and incoherent at the idea of being taken against her will by the lords. And Tara completely misinterprets this. She doesn’t consider that, if Dani can be so distressed at even the thought of such exploitation, she could not possibly have faked her desire for Tara for years.
Excellent. I don’t think I’ve read this concept put so clearly but yes. That scene should make clear to Tara that Dani has wanted her as badly as she did but it has the opposite effect.



Quote:
At the end of the story Tara’s guilt seems to be focused on her perceived sexual exploitation of Willow, rather than the bonded servant practice as a whole. This makes sense. Giving characters in historical or fantasy fiction 21st century Western values can break the spell. Tara’s world is Dani, and she only really questions the customs of her society as they relate to their relationship.
Oh absolutely. Tara has no sudden change of attitude or belief. She doesn’t want to free all servants or stop making marks. She just wants Dani to love her freely. But she has no problem with owning servants or having others do so.



Quote:
The feedback is also fascinating to read.
I would say that of every story I have ever written this was the most interesting and helpful feedback. The questions from people about the intricacies of marks rights and how the Lord and Ladyships are handed down really helped me to make the rules clear. I absolutely agree that the feedback is incredibly rare and very valuable. It’s one reason that I think a forum like this can be treated almost like a workshop community for writers.



Quote:
This is a lovely story. I would really like to read a glimpse of this world from Willow’s POV. I know that a full-length sequel would take more time than you have available, but perhaps you might consider a vignette or something similar?
Hmm. I’ve never considered a vignette but I may think about that. It’s weird because I know exactly what happens in the sequel (which includes full explanations of Willow’s geneology so it includes a story from 20 years ago as well as 80-100 years ago). Still, I feel like the prospect of writing the full story is so daunting…



Thanks so much for your wonderful feedback.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:04 pm 
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Quote:
Still, I feel like the prospect of writing the full story is so daunting…


What would help? Would cookies help? I could send cookies! Or, um, bread! I can sort of make bread. I'm better at cookies.

Um, or oh, uh . . . crap brain, c'mon!

Praise? I've got that in spades.

I could actually go through and comment-up my word document of this story. Like, it would take a long time, as it's 200 pages and I have lots and lots of thoughts about this that really make me wish I was around when it was written, but I'll trade you that for the sequel.

Or how's this: you write the sequel, and I'll write you anything you want.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 1:23 pm 
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Hi! :bigwave

I've just re-read this fic for the third time, and I need to tell you it's on the top of my favorites list. This is so beautifully written, thank you for this lovely story! I'm a big fan of yours. It's actually your stories that brought me out of lurk-dom.

Once again, thank you! :clap
~Allie

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:21 pm 
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Allie - I'm terrible about responding to my fb here in a timely manner. I'm so sorry! Thanks for your kind words. I actually re-read this every 6 months or so myself. I appreciate your note.

Who is that in the picture?


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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:49 am 
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To be honest, it took me a really long time to force myself to read this. I tried once, but I couldn't get over the fact that you changed Willow's name. (I was once very close with a redheaded Dani and it was really hindering my ability to envision Willow with that name.) I was sure you had a good reason, but it was just too much of a mind twist for me.

It wasn't until I finally made the connection between Will's middle name and the one you gave her that I finally got over myself enough to look past it.

And I'm quite glad I did. I was enthralled with this story by the middle of chapter two. And I powered through it because I dying to understand what was happening in the present as Tara was telling her tale.

I also can't tell you how refreshing it is to read a story where Tara's family makes an appearance to do something other than terrorize her. So thanks for that.

And I like that you left details of the visual setting rather ambiguous so it was up to the reader to imagine it. I found it very similar to Rivendell because of the connections you made with nature and magic.

The characters and culture were well developed, while still remaining delightfully mysterious, and I found them quite intriguing. I'll admit that I'm quite curious where the inspiration came from, but I know most artists hate that question so I won't press for an answer. Or perhaps if I actually read through the other comments I might find answers to my questions.

There is one thing I feel compelled to ask though. You had hinted that shortly before Tara and Dani were ready to take their marks that Dani kept displaying hints of sadness. I interpreted this to mean that she was sad because she loved Tara and wanted to continue to love her freely rather than be forced to by magic. Is that about right or am I way off? Because I don't think it was ever explained.

Anyway, excellent story. I loved it. Loved the ending, but also the journey as well. Like you, and probably many others, I was also uncomfortable with the power imbalance in their relationship, but of course I understand that it was central to the story.

All in all, well done. =]

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 3:17 pm 
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SandBar Dragon – Hi and thanks for commenting. You can’t imagine the joy I feel when I get a note that this has been commented on. I’m glad that you were able to look past Dani/Willow’s name and get into the story. I wanted to as you say enthrall or capture people and make them ask what was going on. It sounds like that succeeded. And yes, Tara’s family are all good folks here.

I didn’t have Rivendell in my mind mostly because I pictured a more … real landscape. Sort of Ireland/England but with the addition of magic. But I’m glad that you filled in what worked for you.

Quote:
I'll admit that I'm quite curious where the inspiration came from, but I know most artists hate that question so I won't press for an answer. Or perhaps if I actually read through the other comments I might find answers to my questions.
Yes. The answer appears earlier in comments but I’ll repeat it. Basically when writing/reading BDSM one frequently comes across people saying that they wish “it was real” that they could really own someone. I was out on a walk and started to think what would it take for it to be real? What would the world have to be for one of them to own the other but to still have a loving relationship. By the time I got home, I had this outlined in my head.

I’d say your interpretation of Dani’s sadness is reasonable. I think that it was just hitting her the reality of their relationship. That she was about to give up all power forever.

Thank you for your comments and questions.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:15 pm 
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WOW!! I don't know why but this is my first time reading this and it was epic. I loved that it was from Tara's POV and seeing her first deal with her feelings for Dani then her inner demons weaving doubts of her love. I of course don't agree with the whole "owning" thing but it was very necessary to tell this story (are people also forgetting this actually did happen years ago, without the magic of course lol).

I commend your writing skills and I'll just be going now to read more.

Cheers
Kim

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 7:20 am 
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Kim,
And you're moving along through my fics? Great plan. I'm glad you got a chance to read this one. It is one of my favorites. A little secret: I have the sequel planned out but no time to write. Thanks for leaving feedback.

Deb

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 3:36 am 
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Re-read of course. I love this story!

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