The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 10:57 am 
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Oh wow...that was so good, debra... (good is an understatement, but I can't think of a word that wouldn't be after an ending like that)

I felt odd, right along with Tara trying to think of Dani as Willow, and she's still doesn't feel like a Willow...she's definitely a Dani in this story :p

I think I recall you saying something about there being a sequel in the works? :happycry I love this story.

Congrats, again, on the new baby.

xoxo
Emms

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:50 pm 
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Kaia – Congrats on the final dibs here and thanks for your good wishes. We are quite thrilled. Rachel has actually felt better the last few days so maybe we’re on the upswing. Yay for you and your wife starting soon. I would think you know a ton about it but maybe I can still be of help. I’m more than willing to answer whatever questions you have.

Quote:
On the same note, if you ever have any medical questions i'd be happy to help you...I am an OB resident after all, might as well put myself to good use,
Heck, your suggestion months ago to exercise my finger under water (I went with the finger under water rather than myself) was well worth the price of admission so I’ll keep your offer in mind. Thanks.

I love your summary of this story and thank you for that. I’ll employ you to write book jacket quotes. Lol. Thanks for your thoughts. I am looking forward to the sequel although I have a few other things to do before I get there. You are very welcome.

Quote:
PS: Is it a bad time to mention Menorah Tales and update in the same sentence?
Not bad at all. I know what the next two updates are about. It’s just hard to prioritize writing them over writing the fic for the next series or my new story or or or…

PancakesinBellies – Thanks for your well wishes. We are extremely excited and blessed.

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Secondly, what a wonderfully fitting ending.
Thank you.

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It warms the cockles of my heart and makes me all mushy inside.
Last night I used that phrase and got a long lecture from my wife that 1. I have no cockles and 2. They wouldn’t be in my heart if I did. I guess she’s right but…

You’re very welcome.

Quote:
PS-How about an epilogue?
Well, you and some other readers are now outed as not reading other feedback and replies. Better than an epilogue: there will be a sequel to this story told from Willow’s pov.

Thanks.

Shaucker – Hello again. Thanks for your thoughts and thanks for the well wishes.
Quote:
Is there going to be an epilogue that answers the questions of acceptance and future (not to mention Dani/Willow's full parentage)?
Again, a reader who didn’t read the responses to prior feedback. That’s ok; it’s not required. There will be an entire sequel that answers most of those questions and it will be narrated by Willow. It will not pick up from this moment but a few years down the line but will answer many of those questions.

Menorah Tales is on the list but it’s not at the top. Thanks.

Sandman78 – Hey there. Thanks so much. I’m glad that the no major angst was a good thing here. I kind of worried that readers would feel like it was all handled too neatly and too easily.
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I love sappy happy endings...but PancakesinBellies has a good point about an epilogue. I would love to see where
Willow and Tara go from here. I guess the word I'm looking for is closure , you left the story pretty much open for more.
That’s quite true and it’s meant as a lead-in for the sequel. And yes, there will be a sequel.

Thanks so much. Enjoy Menorah Tales.

hondos – Hello there. Thanks for the thoughts re: Lucky. We’re quite excited. Thanks for yout thought on the story. The sequel will be a few months at least but it’s in my head.

Thanks.

Julia – Thanks again. She is feeling better this week so hopefully the worst of it is over. (fingers crossed). I’m glad you liked the final update. Thank you so much.

Fin – Thanks very much. Yes, much is going on in real life but writing is such a touchstone. It gives me something consistent and something to do with my creative energy. The quotation you point out is kind of the guiding for this entire fic so I’m glad it resonates for you. I apologize for the delay; this was a hard chapter to write—probably the hardest in this entire fic.

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I liked how you ended the tale leaving room for a sequel which could delve into how Tara and Willow live as a couple now that they are both equals and how they will be received by family ect...
Yes, there will be a sequel although they are still not equals. Yes, it would be nice to see them that way but one of them is a free woman while the other is the highest of nobility. While Willow is no longer a servant, she is nowhere near Tara’s social status.

Thanks so much for your comments.

db – Ooo. A Twirly Dance? How awesome. Thanks.

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Debra. I have loved this story from the beginning, and you kept wondering if the ending would be right... so I guess I was a little nervous to read it... but it was perfect. Just the right amount of angst mixed in with hope and love.
I can’t even describe how thrilled I am to read this. The ending has been the one part of this story that has really concerned me from the beginning. It took me a very long time to write because I have been very worried that the ending was just too Huck Finn. You know? Like here are chapters and chapters of love and angst and here’s the way it is and then suddenly it’s like, “Oh. It’s ok. I love you. Smoochy smoochy” So I’m glad it didn’t come off like that.

Tee hee: You’re smooching Tadre. I’m glad that the marks and name seemed fitting to you. Thanks so much for your wonderful comments.

WolfDragonGod – Hello there. Thank you. Yes, there will very definitely be a sequel and we’ll see about kids… Thanks so much.

Diane – Hello.
Quote:
Wow! No more hypotheticals. Cool. Congrats!
tee hee. Gee, I thought I dropped the hypotheticals a few weeks ago. Grin.

I appreciate your approval of the ending. I almost sent it to you before submitting but finally decided, I never send anything to anyone so why should I start? Pretty cocky, huh?

Quote:
Great story, well done, and for the first time in this entire tale, I don't find myself wanting to smack Tara in the back of the head. I guess that's the best ending we all could hope for.
Lol. She was pretty reasonable here, giving Willow control over the herbs and all that. You know? So glad she’s off your list.

Thanks so much. Enjoy your trip.

The Rose24 – Thanks for your comments. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it throughout.

[qutoe]In Tara's defense, I understand she is not sure if Willow really loves her. Tara is extremely worried she is taking advantage of Willow because technically Willow is not supposed to say no to Tara. It is really easy to get mixed signals. [/quote]Definitely.

Asking Willow to speak freely would have been a good idea but not guaranteed to work because Willow’s prime directive is always to do what she thinks is best for Tara so if she didn’t think that telling the truth would be best for Tara, she wouldn’t.

Thanks for the comments.

Second Fig – Thanks. I’m glad you got hope and anticipation for the future. That’s pretty much my intention there.

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That was pure genius by the way in how you changed Dani to Willow.
Thanks. It was actually hard to keep writing her name correctly for that last few paragraphs. A definite challenge.

Quote:
The conversation at the end was markedly different than their interactions before and it felt more like the Willow we are familiar with. You resolved my doubts about Tara taking away the choice from Willow in the decision to remove the bond. The easy conversation and Willows change validated Tara’s decision because if they had discussed it Willow might have refused and she seems to realize that about herself. They still have a few issues but for now all they needed was a little lov’in.
Yes and yes. I agree and thank you.

I’m glad you liked the supporting characters. It was hard to go back to writing this Faith and Dawn with my new story at the front of my mind but it was fun too. Thanks.

Emms – Thank you. Yes, it’s hard to now think of Dani as Willow and I would imagine it’s hard for the people in that world to have people’s names changing but they have to deal with it.

Yep. There will be a sequel narrated by Willow.

Thanks for the well wishes.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 1:38 pm 
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Debra
Wow. So it's over, and they're happy together. Their future seems intriguing, what with Willow now being an acknowledged magic user, and their relationship - correct me if I'm wrong - now public knowledge.

The last update was pretty harrowing, and I felt that Tara got off pretty lightly,really. Your depiction of Willow's painful state (is there a story behind her choice of name, I wonder?) and Tara's anxiety and distress, was intense.

You've given us quite a pageant with this story, Debra. I'm looking forward to seeing it from Dani/Willow's POV.
Thanks
Anne

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:45 am 
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I'm sorry for feedbacking so late; I think I've kinda told you why I'm generally not posting, right? If not I'll explain more thoroughly offline. But it's the conclusion of Waiting for Dani, and I know I will feel bad for not adding my congratulations to another gift you have brought us. What a wonderfully written, gripping, emotional story. Even at the conclusion Tara has to have things spelled out to her by Dani -- that their love is real; that Dani is a magic user; that they have a future together. Creator please help Tara not to screw things up. Her devotion to caring for Willow is sweet, which gives me comfort and faith -- though I expect Willow to be the one who keeps their relationship true and loving from this point on. I've become so used to referring to Dani that it's strange to refer to her as Willow. :lol

I really like the ending. Of course we know they'll be together in love, no surprise here. But it is only the beginning of their journey. I love stories like this, we know there will be trials and tribulations; and I can only hope that we are privileged to visit this universe sometime down the line -- what a potential for short stories and vignettes! And looking forward to the sequel, whenever it arrives on our screens.

Again, thanks for this. :applause Congratulations on Rachel's pregnancy and hope all is well with everything else. (I saw your email on work, I need to write you about July sometime this week.)
[br]

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:25 pm 
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Cripes, watty’s post reminded me that I also didn’t leave feedback for you, Debra.

First off, congratulations to you and your growing family. That’s awesome.

Now, for WFD - I very much want to leave feedback for all the finished stories I read, because I figure you finish a story, you deserve to know your work on it had an effect and that you’re not just zapping it into the ether where it’ll disappear absorbed either in apathy or the laziness of a sated reader. Both can make a writer feel like shit, but we can at least avoid the latter. Let me just say, thank you so much for a well-written, entertaining story.

For this story, in particular - The stories I like best are the ones that can entertain and make me think at the same time, and WFD did that for me from the first chapter. The class politics, the ethics of who really is on top in these types of relationships, the sensuality of serving—so much to think about. And you presented it so nicely, too. I think you mentioned this is your first time writing fantasy. I’ve been reading fantasy all my life (or at least since I was 6 or so), and while your story may not have had the amount of plot-heavy action of a lot of fantasy novels, it has plenty of drama. I also loved your prose with this piece. That’s probably the hardest part of writing fantasy, I think—using language that clearly conveys we’re no longer in the here and now, but is not so archaically stylized that it becomes a Lord of the Rings parody.

I’m very much looking forward to the sequel, and how Willow’s tale will differ even if they’re ultimately one story. I especially love that you made Willow a potty mouth—my naughty inner child wonders how that’ll play in the sequel, and if we'll actually get to hear a sample or two now :-p

Sincerely, thank you again for this lovely bit of writing.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 4:33 pm 
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Deb, forgive the late-i-tude on the feedback. Genetics exams suck. Anyways...

Fist off, a huge and hearty congrats on the baby you two are expecting. That's amazing, and I wish you all the best. Now onto the feedback for the chapter.

Nicely done! I have to say, as you could probably tell from my increasingly anxious feedback, that I was quite worried about how well a happy ending would work. We all knew there had to be one, as per the KB requirements, but seeing it in action pushed aside the worries. Tara showed massive remorse, Dani had magick user marks, Faith did the slapping for me, and Willow is finally Willow. And for once, I didn't feel like kicking Tara's ass. Willow was pretty convincing as far as her love for Tara goes. I guess I just needed that confirmation straight from the horse's mouth, as they say. And I got it. That's the best ending possible, considering the circumstances, and I can honestly say it worked out just fine. And once again, much with the congratulations.

~Sara

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:13 am 
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Sorry, Debra, I really lost track of keeping up with the FB. Even today I'm not leaving proper FB. Just wanted to stop by and thank you for this amazing story. I loved it till the end. Gladly Faith talked some sense into Tara and Stefan went to get Dani/Willow. Beautiful how you described the solution in the last chapter. And every thing Willow did finally made perfect sense.

Oh and the most important thing: Congratulations to you and your wife Rachel - and Asher, too. He is going to be a big brother. It's very exiting. I wish you all the best.

I'll come back and leave proper FB another time.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 7:45 am 
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Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for writing this, its been great to read and I'm so happy its complete cus so many amazing stories never get finished. I'm actually gonna miss it too, I really liked the world you created, i'm keeping my fingers crossed for a sequel!

Also in response to a question you asked me ages ago that i never replied to, mooncups are great, they really work. cheap and environmentally friendly and its also pretty cool getting to know your body functions too. I'm slowly convincing all of my female friends to get one but some people find it disgusting which is a bit weird seeing as its really not disgusting, but hey, we can blame patriacrchy for that one ! :D

thanks gain for the wonderful story.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:11 am 
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"It was imperative, not interrogative, My Lady. Love Me."

Heh - that's the fun kind of taking orders :blush

That was an interesting conclusion, and the more I thought about it, the more it went from 'interesting' to 'great'. At first it seemed a bit rushed - all this build-up, and when we finally get to the big moment where the die is cast and we see how it rolls, it all worked out relatively quickly. But then I realised that, in having Tara narrate, this whole story has actually taken place in a very short space of time, even though it's chronicled many years.

Willow, as always, was the more clear-headed of the two, but I like the shift in their relationship, and I don't just mean with them no longer being bound in the magic sense. They're finally talking to each other, without (at least, for Tara) having to wonder whether she's getting Willow's response or her own desires reflected back to her. The two of them just talking, asking questions and answering each other... that's the payoff to the whole story, I think.

Anyway, it's been a great ride. And I saw you mention the magic word, 'sequel' :party

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 10:26 am 
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do you have any idea's about what the sequeal will be called

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:03 pm 
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Very good story :-)
I guess now there will be all those problems with the lafleur about how come Willow is a magical user? :/


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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 3:50 pm 
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Wow! :thud :thud :thud Awesome story. I was a bit concerned at how Tara/Dani/Willows relationship could blossom after they took their mark-bounds. But luckily there is a happy ending.... can't wait the sequal. Will it be posted soon-ish?

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:44 pm 
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Anne – Yep, over and happy. I would say that their relationship is relatively public knowledge at this point. If not explicit, they will not be hiding it. Tara is going to bring Willow as her escort or date or whatever events there are and assume that her status will protect them.

On one hand that I agree that Tara got off lightly. But on the other, part of the point of this story is that most of it took place in Tara’s head. The entire angst was really her invention and while it was a good idea to not own her lover, it wasn’t ever as horrible and dire as she imagined. So getting off easy? Kind of but also kind of a false alarm. You know.

Quote:
(is there a story behind her choice of name, I wonder?)
During their journey they saw the Willow trees and during the commute to the new estate they are very flirtatious about Dani being like a Willow tree, especially during sex. Her name is meant to signal to Tara that although she is freed, that is always going to be part of her definition of herself because she loves and wants Tara.

Thanks.

watty – Hey there. Don’t worry about feedbacking late. I totally understand. Thanks for posting here. I really appreciate it.

Quote:
Even at the conclusion Tara has to have things spelled out to her by Dani -- that their love is real; that Dani is a magic user; that they have a future together. Creator please help Tara not to screw things up.
Lol and yes! She’s kind of driven herself crazy, you know? I don’t think that Tara ever intended to be loving and caring but she was very unaware for so long. I think that now she’ll have to really examine her expectations of both herself and her lover. You know that casual, “hey honey, can you get me a glass of water while you’re up?” Kind of has a different meaning here.

I’m glad that you feel that the potential for the sequel is there. I think it will be enjoyable to all.

Thanks.

binky – Thanks for the congratulations.

Quote:
… Let me just say, thank you so much for a well-written, entertaining story.
You are more than welome.

I’m glad this story made you think. I wanted that. I wanted the type of angry, questioning, and intricate reading and commenting that I got. [qutoe] The class politics, the ethics of who really is on top in these types of relationships, the sensuality of serving—so much to think about. And you presented it so nicely, too.[/quote]Thank you. I felt that the area was ripe. I have to admit that I don’t even read much fantasy. Somehow this one came out but I appreciate the thoughts from a longtime reader like you.

I also look forward to the sequel. I think that the language of that story will be quite different both in tone and in crudeness (for lack of a better term). I also think that we will be privy to the type of thoughts and conversations that servants have about their masters/mistresses.

Thank you so much.

Sara – Don’t worry about the lateness. I don’t think that I took genetics; science is kind of my weak suit (that and geography).

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Fist off, a huge and hearty congrats on the baby you two are expecting. That's amazing, and I wish you all the best.
Thanks and congrats back at you on your engagement.

I’m glad that you appreciated the ending. I had mentioned being quite nervous about whether it would seem legitimate. I mean it’s required but would it seem justified? Does it seem reasonable that Willow would return and forgive Tara so quickly and love her so?

Quote:
I guess I just needed that confirmation straight from the horse's mouth, as they say. And I got it.
That makes sense.

Thanks so much.

sacinema – Don’t worry about it. We all get busy. My work has been pretty hectic lately so I very much understand.
Quote:
Gladly Faith talked some sense into Tara and Stefan went to get Dani/Willow.
Agreed although much as I love Faith she really only convinced Tara that her actions were not so bad and that Willow loved her. She didn’t’ actually cause Tara to take any different action. But she was certainly there to help. I’m glad you liked the resolution.

Thanks for your hearty congratulations. We are all very excited.

idontlikejam – Hello again. I’m glad that my finishing the story made you happy. It is quite sad the stories that are never finished but I totally understand that it’s one of the downsides of reading fiction in this type environment… I am planning on writing a sequel.

Re: mooncups. My wife is like you and tells all sorts of people about them (although she is currently pregnant to not an issue). I tried one but I got bad cramps so I stopped. I tried it for three months which I thought was fair. But disgusting? Huh?

Thanks for your comments.

Chris – Tee hee about orders.
Quote:
That was an interesting conclusion, and the more I thought about it, the more it went from 'interesting' to 'great'.
Woo hoo. I’ll take it.

Quote:
At first it seemed a bit rushed - all this build-up, and when we finally get to the big moment where the die is cast and we see how it rolls, it all worked out relatively quickly. But then I realised that, in having Tara narrate, this whole story has actually taken place in a very short space of time, even though it's chronicled many years.
See, and that was my exact concern. I was quite concerned that people would feel like they had been rushed. That expectations were really built up and then it’s just kind of “ok…” To me another important factor, besides the time of her story, is to realize that the angst of the story has really only existed in Tara’s mind. With the exception of Willow wanting to go to the wedding and not wanting Tara to free her, there has not been a great deal of angst from her at all.

And yes, the relationship has already started to change a significant amount. Willow is now free from Tara’s influence and Tara is free from worrying why Willow is doing anything. I’m glad you like the questions and answers aspect.

Thanks so much.

WolfDragonGod
Quote:
do you have any idea's about what the sequeal will be called
That is a truly excellent question. I mean I wish I had a title that would tie the sequel to this tale but now that Willow’s name is no longer Dani I feel like that’s out. And no one is waiting for anything. I’ve considered something like “Willow’s Tale” or “Willow’s Destiny” or “Destiny’s Path” but none of those really shout “Sequel to Waiting for Dani.” Hopefully I’ll come up with something good…

Arkeus – Wow. This is your first post? Welcome. I’d say that will come up in the sequel…

Thanks.

Zampsa1975 – Thanks so much. Soonish? Probably not very. Thanks.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 6:18 am 
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Oh dear, I'm sooooo late :blush I'll probably re-read parts of this story anyway. Always good to read it as one whole story.

Congrats on getting pregnant again btw. Hopefull the morning sickness will go away soonish (after all, what's the use??:)).

Tara knew the free-ing of a bond would affect Dani badly, so why was she all shocked when she saw it? Did she really not think ahead that much? Or didn't she WANT to? Leaving Dani all alone for the free-ing was a cowardly thing to do. Tara put her through that painfull event, she could have least have stayed to help ease Dani's pain. Such are things people do for loved ones you know.

I'm wondering if T'dre would really leave Willow in such an obviously bad state. Willow wouldn't have been able to care for herself for days, so who should have done that, hmm?? I understand she has a magic users' mark now, but what difference does that truly make in everyday life?

The beginning of this story suggests that Tara already has a new 'girl' as in is-bonded-to. That doesn't seem to be the case, she's merely venting anger over her own decision on the Maclay East staff, hardly 'new' people to her.

Speaking of staff and other people, Tara does have a LOT of explaining to do. They will obviously always obey her, but true respect is harder to get and such weird actions squander it away.

The ending was sort of expected (this being the KB and all) but it did go awfully easy. This has probably more to do with me being cautious and thus not wanting to assume Dani was in love with Tara when bonded. Much of the angst in this story originates from neither Tara nor the reader knowing with any certainty if Dani loves Tara. That leaves us with three possible endings; positive, neutral or negative (the latter being not an option on here;-). Obviously it's easiest when Dani did already love Tara throughout all of their bonding time. A bit more neutral ending would be more interesting but much harder to resolve. So I'm still undecided on that.

Tara did get of easy yeah. Sure that is based on what we know and what Tara told us. But we don't have any other input really (that's also part of the 'easy' problem, the perceived angst deflates quickly) . Then again how much effort you want to spend on activly remembering stuff you didn't like in the past?

There are tons of unanswered questions, but I suspect most if not all of those will be answered in the sequel so I won't bother you with those.

I probably should re-read the part where free-ing is described but does Willow still have the hip-mark? If not, how's that removed? Sounds awfully painfull to remove such a deep marking from a thigh. (and again :smash :smash for Tara not staying with Dani for that). Come to think of it, would the tigh need much more aftercare?

Will Tara hire Willow as official servant or is that not allowed since a Lady *must* have a bonded servant? Just wondering what profession Willow would like to perform. The reason she likes being a servant is that she has been raised all her life to be one. Not bonding specific, just her education. Speaking of which, when does Willow travel to Maclay Main again? She might like to speak to her mother?

About the title of the new story, Willow's lastname didn't change can't you use that somehow?

As a writer how difficult was it to write from a one-person perspective only?

Hmm... I have a feeling I'll probably write some more feedback later on. This is a bit rambly and some points don't come across to well I think. First time to get some sleep though (looooong working days recently, blech)

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"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
-- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine


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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:27 pm 
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Awesome fic! I have willingly given up an hour or two of sleep the last few nights to finish reading it.

ellbogen (from the Meditation thread)


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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 3:10 pm 
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Ah, my talented scribe...Where to begin?

First--avec congratulations for the parenthood redux! You must be beyond thrilled. I'm assuming it was planned...? I know that you and Rachel weren't always careful about using protection...So--please accept my fond good wishes and hopes for a safe and smooth pregnancy. You'll have a little Capricorn, yes? Tell Rachel that any woman who gives birth and then does it AGAIN has my highest, highest regard. In that area, I'm like Marlin Perkins from the old Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom shows: I watch from a safe distance.

And now on to the story. I have many, many comments that I've scribbled on my note pad (as opposed to a sanitary pad, which is messy and unwieldy), but forgive my presumption if I say that for me, the entire story was summed up in Tara's poignant question:
Quote:
"Can she have the ability to say yes if she doesn't have the ability to say no?"
Power, in their relationship, was inescapable, no matter how much they both strove to act as if it were only some peripheral trifle.

You did a masterful job of conveying that building sense of dread, as Tara realizes (not so consciously at first, it seems) that the very fact of her ownership of Dani both secures her place and jeopardizes it. Your description of Tara's growing unease and jealousy was excellent. What made it so powerful was Tara's own recognition of her fear and the toll it took on her:
Quote:
"Oh, I turn snide as I move through my story..."
Yes you do, Tara, though you're damn funny, too.

Much has been written of the power imbalance and I confess, I wondered how the issue would be resolved in a way that permitted realistic eventual happiness. Only when she knew that Dani (Willow) had chosen to return to her could Tara trust in that love. You did a fantastic job of establishing Dani's uncanny (That Dani--she's uncanny) ability to know what needed to be done--not only in practical matters, but also in reading Tara. So of course she could and would be exceptionally attuned to Tara, and respond accordingly.

You create fantastic descriptions, but of all of them I think the marks were most powerful to me. I was struck by the way that they created and perpetuated both incredibly formal systems of rank and were also used or wielded in such intimate ways; the baring of hips, e.g., to allow inspection and subsequent "placement." I think that that was one of the most remarkable aspects of this story: the way that you showed how subtle power can be. It would have been easy to write a story with a stereotypic bad guy and the power he wielded. And yet everyone here who had great power was genuinely beneficent and kind. No one, certainly in the main cast, was inclined to abuse their rank and status. They gathered to talk about the best means of caring for those in their care, e.g. Yet...no matter how freely the permission to speak was given, it was always requested. It had to be requested.

To me, it begs so many questions, only one of which is: do we need hierarchies? Must there be those who have more and whose duty it is (or should be) to help those with less? What's the phrase..."To whom much is given, much is expected"? Is that it?

Class, discuss the imperative of socio-economic hierarchy and its relative merits and dangers.

Allow me to state that I loved many of your characters, but Faith had my heart b/c she had the stones to tell Tara how things really were. I absolutely loved her disclosure of just how many women-loving women had actually strolled the grounds over the years. When we say that someone served Lady Maclay, we mean full service, including the top-off. Yes ma'am. Oh, and this:
Quote:
"Creator, I've...well, never mind. We're not talking about me."
But if you ever want to write a sequel exploring that very subject...

And throughout all of this great and poignant and meaningful story...you weave such great touches of humor. Your descriptions of the various characters brought me many an audible guffaw. (Is there such a thing as an inaudible guffaw? And if so, wouldn't it hurt?) Let me just browse through a few...

Well, of course Dawn's "high-pitched whine" had me cracking up; and Giles was "a veritable library of records." Brooding Angel, and his fixation on Anne and the assorted necks was a wonderful touch, as was that sexless wanker Wesley. I do believe my absolute favorite, though, was William the Bloody and how he got his name. Ah, 'twas a right fair idiot he was, no? So simple and sincere and chasing Anne who eventually took pity on his poor, feeble self...That was just classic, Debra!

And so the story comes to a close. Yet again must I apologive for my delay but please know that when I finally had time to sit down to the board, yours was the first story I returned to. This was indeed your best story yet, Debra, and you've written some great ones. Would love to talk more on PM about the crafting.

Congratulations on all of your creations!
Mary

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:10 pm 
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grimlock72 – Don’t worry about the late.
Quote:
I'll probably re-read parts of this story anyway. Always good to read it as one whole story.
I was actually thinking the same thing this morning. I haven’t reread it since finishing.

Thanks on the pregnancy thoughts. The morning sickness is better but not great. Thanks.

Quote:
Tara knew the free-ing of a bond would affect Dani badly, so why was she all shocked when she saw it? Did she really not think ahead that much? Or didn't she WANT to? Leaving Dani all alone for the free-ing was a cowardly thing to do. Tara put her through that painfull event, she could have least have stayed to help ease Dani's pain. Such are things people do for loved ones you know.
You make a very good argument here. I will say in Tara’s defense that 1. she knew generally but not specifically just how hard the freeing would be. As we saw in Dani’s binding, the marks she took were far advanced from any this area has seen previously. To break a bond of this magnitude with people who a. are in love b. are this powerful and c. are both still alive was a little of a wildcard. 2. I think that Tara left because given her belief that she had taken such advantage of Dani she did not want to inflict herself on her victim (as it were). I’m not saying that it’s valid rationale but I think that was it.

Hmmm. You ask an interesting question about T’dre. I can assure you that T’dre did not leave Willow without someone to take care of her. In my mind, T’dre and her servant (who’s name I can not come up with at the moment) are still at the tavern. Additionally, Stefan was there and when Dani asked for Xander he came immediately. So it’s my intention that the four of them were there to care for her as appropriate.

As far as the meaning of her magic mark in everyday life: it carries no pay or job but it is a huge step in terms of her prestige. She is not a 5-mark servant who has been freed but a former 5-mark servant who is freed and is a magic user. In some people’s minds, this would place her above non-magic using nobility although in the official hierarchy her position is and will be quite unsure. Trust me that this question: Willow’s official hierarchical position will be a source of some contention and negotiation in the sequel.

Quote:
The beginning of this story suggests that Tara already has a new 'girl' as in is-bonded-to. That doesn't seem to be the case, she's merely venting anger over her own decision on the Maclay East staff, hardly 'new' people to her.
Damnit! Yes, you’ve found an incongruity of my writing and posting style. I had not though out the concept of her “new girl” thoroughly at the beginning of the story. When I began, I planned that she actually had an apprentice bonded servant. Someone who perhaps had not taken marks but was being trained. But as I wrote, it became clear to me that the “new girl” would not be bonded but would be a general servant of the house. So yes, she is not “new” at all but someone who is attempting to fill Dani’s position in a meager way.

Quote:
Speaking of staff and other people, Tara does have a LOT of explaining to do. They will obviously always obey her, but true respect is harder to get and such weird actions squander it away.
Agreed but I think that Tara is generally a pretty kind mistress and one that her people enjoy working for. I also think that in the sequel, her actions toward her staff will be very greatly influenced by having a partner who was formerly a servant. We’ll see how that translates, yes?

I totally hear you about the ending and as I’ve said, it was the source of my greatest angst. Being the KB we’re, of course, locked into the positive ending scenario. It was always my intention as I wrote that Dani loved Tara just as passionately and fiercely which made it hard to maintain the tension at times. I get that you’re undecided and certainly open to discussions of the ending and its fitness. You make a great point about Tara and how much time does she want to spend angsting over things in the past? She’s already spent part of this story.

Quote:
I probably should re-read the part where free-ing is described but does Willow still have the hip-mark? If not, how's that removed? Sounds awfully painfull to remove such a deep marking from a thigh. (and again smash smash for Tara not staying with Dani for that). Come to think of it, would the tigh need much more aftercare?
Great question. If you remember to when Tara saw Desiderata’s mark, the mark is not removed. The mark on the hand contains a spell which completely breaks the magic bonding but the mark/brand/tattoo can not be removed. Or it is beyond the progress and interest of this particular society to work on a “mark removal” procedure. So Dani will retain the mark for life but it carries no power any longer.

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Will Tara hire Willow as official servant or is that not allowed since a Lady *must* have a bonded servant?
Did I ever say that the lady must have one? I’m not challenging you; I honestly don’t remember. If so, I would like to change that. I believe that there has probably never been a lady who didn’t have one but now that will be called to question. The sequel will show a great many things about Tara’s situation. I will say that Tara will not hire Willow to perform her prior duties.

Willow’s job possibilities lay out in front of her with really no blueprint. She will have to figure out how to balance her relationship with her destiny and what purpose she would like to perform. She has great enough wealth that even if she left Tara, she would not be required to work for many years. Given that she is lover to a very powerful and wealthy member of the nobility she could certainly choose to be a kept woman but I do not believe that would be her choice. We shall see in the sequel what she chooses to do. I will promise that a trip to Maclay Main and a long conversation with her mother is in order and is paramount to the sequel.

Quote:
About the title of the new story, Willow's lastname didn't change can't you use that somehow?
I’m not convinced that Willow has a last name. When D’Shel arrived she introduced herself as being “from the Estate of the Roses.” She did not actually give a last name and I’m not sure that she would produce one (yes, she has one) if asked. Willow would not have been given a last name at all. The closest she would have would be Willow formerly of the House of Maclay. She could choose one but that takes me back to my issue of associating the new story with this one. My leading candidate is “Willow’s Destiny” but unless I post it as “Willow’s Destiny – Sequel to Waiting for Dani”, I don’t see how a reader will know that it is that story. You know?

Quote:
As a writer how difficult was it to write from a one-person perspective only?
Fantastic question and one that I could discuss for days and not feel bored. It was both difficult and easy. It was difficult because of the limitations. At times I really wanted to add some exposition from another narrator and you will note that there are times that I was forced to do just this. On the way home from the first wedding trip, I relied on Anne and the other children to discuss the topic of marks-rights. And I had to use Faith to provide my exposition on the “normalcy” (for lack of a better term) of Tara and Dani’s relationship. And there were other topics that I was simply unable to elaborate on as it would not have been appropriate for the “lady” to have that knowledge or to have access to those conversations. This story told entirely from Dani’s pov would have been a much more informed narrative. At the same time, there are ways in which it was incredibly easy.

Let me think about how to explain what was easy. Think of School Days. That narrative at times required some narrative gymnastics to avoid letting the characters in on the truth of their situations [spoiler]that Faith and Buffy were Slayers and Tara a student teacher and Willow a teacher[/spoiler]. I was forced to arrange interruptions, short conversations, and misunderstandings to maintain the farce. In this fic, on the other hand, it was much easier to keep Tara from certain knowledge. I simply did not allow her to come in contact with those who might have the knowledge to impart. Or if they had the knowledge, her situation kept them from sharing it with her.

One challenge was that she was so unreliable. I had to balance the level at which the reader could trust her with making her narrative readable and understandable. I needed the reader to sympathize with her but also feel frustration with her. In many ways, I relied on the reader much more than ever before. I absolutely needed the reader to be invested in the story and to fill in the (abundant) gaps left by Tara with her own interpretation (which the readers here did beautifully).

As I said I could go on, but I don’t want to bore everyone. Thanks for the great question. And of course thanks for your awesome and intense feedback.

ellbogen – Hi there. Sorry to interfere with your sleep but I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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ellbogen (from the Meditation thread)
Lol. Yes, I recognized your log-in. Welcome.

Mary – Welcome back! I hear that you’re joining us with an effort next month and I can’t wait to read it. Yay.

Re: pregnancy. Thrilled isn’t even the word. Rachel’s so excited she throws up regularly. Ok, maybe that’s not the excitement and honestly, the regurgitation has been less frequent the last few weeks. Planned? Lol. Planned, prayed for, and paid in cash. Thanks.

Quote:
…but forgive my presumption if I say that for me, the entire story was summed up in Tara's poignant question:
Quote:
"Can she have the ability to say yes if she doesn't have the ability to say no?"
Absolutely. This particular discussion came about via a private discussion I had with one reader who felt that Dani’s consent was implicit (you know who you are: please correct me if I misrepresent here) throughout. Of course, she was 100% correct in that Dani did love Tara and did wish to consent but I completely think that the bottom line is Dani’s inability to fail to give consent. As you say, they could not pretend that the power imbalance did not exist. Or they could pretend this but not terribly successfully.

Thanks for your comments regarding Tara’s growing dread. It was a challenge to write this given that she told her story from the point of knowing her own pain and guilt. Yet, I wanted to mostly give the tone of her story at the time with only the small intrusions to remind the reader of the present tone. As you say, resolving the issue of their power imbalance was crucial to the story. It’s very cliché but Cam pegged it very early on: “If you love something set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” In a lot of ways, that phrase was the basis for the conclusion here. And as you point out, Dani was attuned enough to Tara to understand what she had to do.

Quote:
… I think the marks were most powerful to me. I was struck by the way that they created and perpetuated both incredibly formal systems of rank and were also used or wielded in such intimate ways; the baring of hips, e.g., to allow inspection and subsequent "placement."
I am glad that you found the imagery and power of the marks to be moving. I wished many times throughout this tale that I had the ability of someone like Chris or Emms to put the images in my head onto paper for others to see. Believe me when I say that this is a daily concern as my son has gone from simply wanting me to write letters and numbers on the magna-doodle (a skill at which I felt reasonably proficient) to wanting me to draw a picture of Danny dancing on the car in Greased Lightning or Lizzy walking in the rain in Pride and Prejudice or all three dreamgirls singing Move, Move, Move.

I agree with you that power can be very subtle as can love. In this particular case, I wanted to create a society in which the nobility understand the symbiosis of themselves and their “people.” I hope to do so even more in the next story. I considered some discussion on Tara’s part of the abuse some nobility visited on their servants and stories that Dani would have heard but I did not want to suggest the idea into the reader’s mind that this was where her angst was going.

Quote:
To me, it begs so many questions, only one of which is: do we need hierarchies? Must there be those who have more and whose duty it is (or should be) to help those with less? What's the phrase..."To whom much is given, much is expected"? Is that it?

Class, discuss the imperative of socio-economic hierarchy and its relative merits and dangers.
I think you bring up a very complex set of questions here. I will say that I don’t feel that hierarchies are necessary but that they are going to be an implicit or explicit generation of virtually every societal model we could design. I would like to envision a world in which every person, from childhood on, is encouraged to pursue that vocation which he loves and is good at (hopefully for him that will be the same). But it also seems that we would have some who love leading and those who love serving (and I mean that in a very broad sense). This past week we went on vacation with my extended family. The children ranged in age from 3 to 10 and at some point I made some benign comment that one of my relatives did not seem to appreciate. I had said something to the effect that the kids could do whatever they wanted and that I hoped whatever profession they pursued, it would be something that was “helpful.” One of my relatives seemed to think that the idea was too limiting and that we should support their simply doing whatever they wanted. I didn’t want to argue but I certainly hope that my children want to do something which is helpful.

I’m glad you enjoyed Faith here (I usually do of course).
Quote:
Quote:
"Creator, I've...well, never mind. We're not talking about me."
But if you ever want to write a sequel exploring that very subject...
Not a sequel but you certainly may want to check out my newest story Working It Out.

I’m glad you enjoyed the humor of my insertions of cannon characters. I’m considering only one more for the sequel but I’m not sure if it will be appreciated. I may have to take suggestions or something… Thanks so much.

Quote:
Yet again must I apologive for my delay but please know that when I finally had time to sit down to the board, yours was the first story I returned to. This was indeed your best story yet, Debra, and you've written some great ones. Would love to talk more on PM about the crafting.
No worries and I’m honored to be your first. I agree with you that it was my best but appreciate the thought nonetheless. Sure, let’s talk about writing any time. I did so to some extent in the response above but that was mainly on one topic.

Thanks so much and welcome back.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 12:43 pm 
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Hello Kittens-

This was a wonderful AU and the questions about free will, love, and family were so well wrought. I hope to have more time to follow the next story more closely. This Tara still rings true and her pov was consistent and caring. The background intrigue and subtle dangers added to the telling.

I am curious as all heck to see the next story!

Thank you for this,

Jixer


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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:16 am 
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I'm making a list of things I would like to read about from Willow's point-of-view flashbacky style in the sequel. So I'm going to post those here and we'll if any of those come up

One time-span I would like to know more of is when Dani was alone with T'dre prior to being unbound. Did Dani understand and accept that at least thought she did it for Dani's own welfare? Did she talk/bounce-that with T'dre ? For some reason T'dre strikes me as more wordly knowledgable than both Dani or Tara.

The time immediatly after Tara's bonding would be interesting too (goes toward motivation;-). More insight in Dani's interactions with staff and in general other people not-Tara would be nice too. We got a short glimpse of those when Dani herself was bonded and received presents. It was nice to see how she was liked by other people.

About Willow's last name, I had just assumed it was 'Le Fleur' (hopefully I wasn't alone in that ! ) Although that assumption is only supported by some coincidences really.

JustSkipIt wrote:
Did I ever say that the lady must have one? I’m not challenging you; I honestly don’t remember. If so, I would like to change that. I believe that there has probably never been a lady who didn’t have one but now that will be called to question. The sequel will show a great many things about Tara’s situation. I will say that Tara will not hire Willow to perform her prior duties.


Oh... competition for Willow That does raise the obvious question of the status of a 5-mark Lady without bound servant. Unless all Maclays go without one, it will be a weird difference. Maclay East might proof a solution for that. And no you didn't specify that it was a rule a Lady *must* have a bound servant but it's a sign of stature and well... Tara is supposed to be top-of-the-line as far a stature goes.

I like the entire setup of this story. I always prefer extensive setups and this one certainly qualifies It has the advantage that you can fit more stories in there quite comfortably.

I'm reasonably sure I'm judging Tara much harder than Dani ever did

Will we ever learn about D'Shel's backstore, why did she arrive the way she did? Where is she from, why run away with a child on the way? Run from what for that matter??

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"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
-- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine


Last edited by grimlock72 on Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:38 pm 
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jixer – I absolutely may be mistaken but I don’t remember ever receiving feedback from you before. Welcome to my story (stories if you choose). I’m glad you liked the AU. Part of it kind of sprung fully formed from my strange brain over the course of a 30 minute walk. The rest took some reasoning out but mostly I don’t know where it came from. I’m glad that you were intrigued by the questions I attempted to address. The sequel is a work-in progress in my mind although I have not started putting it to paper just yet.
Quote:
The background intrigue and subtle dangers added to the telling.



I am curious as all heck to see the next story!
Yes, more background and danger in the next and I believe you are in good company with that…



Thanks so much.



grimlock72 – Hello again. I knew I’d see more from you after my responses.



Your list:



When Dani was with T’dre: Hmmm. If at all this will be flashback style and not in great detail. But in my answer, yes, Dani absolutely understood that Tara was acting in what she believed to be Dani’s best-interests. But Dani would not have thought that Tara was acting in Tara’s best interests. And Dani would not have discussed it with T’dre, seeing that wholly inappropriate. Had Tadre brought it up, Dani would have honored her with the most discrete possible responses but again, Tadre would have seen that conversation as inappropriate.



Hmm. Immediately after Tara’s bonding. – We will see some of this through Willow’s rememberances and some through teasing conversations with Tara.



Interactions with others: yes, much of that.



I don’t think it will cause any great surprise to confirm that Willow’s name would be Le Fleur but that doesn’t mean that it is. In this society, servants aren’t necessarily given a last name. If anything, the last name of servant would be the name of his/her estate or “… of the estate of…” Willow’s name could only become LeFleur if she is proven to be LeFleur’s daughter or of that estate.



Your question of a 5-mark Lady with no bound servant is a valid one. That will have to be something that Tara navigates in society. It will remain to be seen whether Willow’s freeing and subsequent disclosure as a magic-user and Tara’s rejection of replacing her (if in fact, she does not do so) will be seen as a liability or a sign of status to the Maclay Estate. Could it be that she’s so incredibly highly-ranked and compassionate and generous that she does not even require the trappings of a bound servant? Or is it that she is not “worthy” of having a bound servant? Will all Maclay’s go without? We will see as to that. Tara can not free someone else’s servant nor can she order another to release their servant. And it’s entirely possible that with her blinders on, she can’t even see that other servants should be as free as her lover.



I’m glad you like the setup for this story. As far as fitting in more stories, I had the idea initially of writing three separate stories: Tara’s, Willow’s, and D’Shel’s. I’ll admit that I’ve decided to abbreviate D’Shel’s for the sake of her imparting the story to Willow but it is rich as a background.



Quote:
Will we ever learn about D'Shel's backstore, why did she arrive the way she did? Where is she from, why run away with a child on the way? Run from what for that matter??
Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Not very far into the sequel, D’Shel will lay out her entire story (from three generations back). I need to sit down with paper and pen and lay out the family trees involved but I have it in my head right now. I will say this: there is one aspect of D’Shel’s story that absolutely no reader has mentioned to this point. It is a detail which is obvious from the first chapter of this story in which Tara relates what she knows. Of course, Tara also has not realized this important fact either and will have to have it spelled out for her by Willow prior to their visiting D’Shel for her story.



Wow, that seems quite teasing. I love your comments. Thanks.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:40 am 
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The perfect ending for the sequal would be the wedding of Lady W'llow LeFleur and Lady T'ra Maclay....

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:10 pm 
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Zampsa - Thanks so much. There will be a sequel although I can't promise a wedding.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:59 pm 
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Would there be any space for wedding 'marks' ? This might again be me needing to re-read stuff since wedding rituals were discussed earlier on I believe, was just a thought occuring to me :)

What prompted me to post was me wondering if the entire 'La Fleur' thing in Tara's pov/story was so small on purpose? Badly phrased that.. what I meant was that nothing ever came of the La Fleur information so to speak. No mister La Fleur claiming Dani for his own, no Dani being 'restored' so to speak as a Lady herself (who was called Willow ;-). None of that occured. Which is very true to life and does add to the story that way, but I was wondering if that was intentional??

Well that was a longish way to write a question :)

Btw. the not-removing of the leg-mark of unbound servants does implicitly prevent them from ever being bonded after being unbound. Well unless one can switch to the other side of the body... could have two servants that way :D

P.S. Will you post a pointer here whenever the sequel goes life?

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"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it."
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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 5:37 pm 
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grimlock72 – How fantastic to still be getting comments from you!

Quote:
Would there be any space for wedding 'marks' ? This might again be me needing to re-read stuff since wedding rituals were discussed earlier on I believe, was just a thought occuring to me
There would very definitely be room for the marks. Right now T/W each only have one mark on their palms. That’s usual for nobility and the wedding marks elaborate on the existing mark to combine it with the partner’s mark. These may fill the palm and usually move to the back of the hand or even the wrist. If Willow and Tara were joined, Willow’s mark would become much, much, much, more elaborate (and would be very similar to the mark already on her hip) while Tara’s would be complicated very little.

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What prompted me to post was me wondering if the entire 'La Fleur' thing in Tara's pov/story was so small on purpose? Badly phrased that.. what I meant was that nothing ever came of the La Fleur information so to speak. No mister La Fleur claiming Dani for his own, no Dani being 'restored' so to speak as a Lady herself (who was called Willow wink. None of that occured. Which is very true to life and does add to the story that way, but I was wondering if that was intentional??
Well, not to give too much away but yes, the vagueness of the LaFleur issue was left that way for a variety of reasons. First: it was not the main point of this particular story. Will it be revealed further in the sequel? Yes. As far as Willow being restored a Lady, that is highly unlikely. Because the Ladyship passes through the female line, she could only be declared Lady if D’Shel held a claim to the Ladyship and D’Shel were dead. This would compare to Faith and Anne who can not become Lady Maclay even if Tara were dead because they are not the daughters of the Lady although they are the daughters of the Lord. You may remember that if Tara were dead, the Ladyship would go to Donnie’s eventual wife and her first-born daughter.

Not removing the leg-mark – I can’t imagine that in this society they would ever, ever, ever consider transferring personal mark-binding. A servant may go from personal to house binding, occasionally from house to personal but they would not think of going from personal to personal.

Quote:
P.S. Will you post a pointer here whenever the sequel goes life?
Absolutely. I will also say that the writing goes slowly (actually not at all at the moment). I think of the story and it’s implications many times a day and am working on the planning in my head. But my primary opportunity for writing, namely work, has changed a tremendous amount in the past month. I suddenly have an entirely new set of work responsibilities and much more to do. So my writing in future will be much slower than we’ve been used to.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 7:51 am 
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Ms. Moderator Fantastico
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New to the archive. You can leave feedback! :)


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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:48 pm 
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This one was really amazing. I’m writing at the moment after reading chapter 13 and it has me totally hooked. I’ve dreamed about your universe tonight, and when I went to the mall this afternoon I kept thinking about it. You’ve really got me on my seat – what has happened that Tara is beating herself up so much? You’ve really got me feeling for her – not really mad, like most of the other readers, ‘cause I don’t think you can blame her for being so naïve. How could she know better anyway? She was brought up to think that this was the only way things could go, so it’s no wondering she’s only questioning this when it’s already to late. But I really am feeling WITH her, I felt her love and I felt her sadness and self-hatred in this chapter, where she’s admitting to us how she eventually realized that she abused Dani in the worst way ever. Where she probably is a bit ‘over-reacting’ (not to say that she didn’t abuse Dani, but to say that it might not be totally her fault (Dani did start the first intimate contact, when she wasn’t bound yet, so she has reason to believe that Dani wanted it to) or even a reason for Dani to hate her), ‘cause that’s in her style.

I don’t like to guess what has happened, but – and I believe that I can’t really give you a greater compliment – you have me just as hooked as JKR has in the latest book of the Harry Potter series. You’ve laid such a path before you, but I have no idea where you’re going. It’s intriguing and it’s definitely wonderful to read.

--

I’m at the end of the story now, and I must say that I’m impressed by Tara’s maturity in taking the choice to free Dani. It’s the toughest choice she ever had to make, and I don’t think any of us would have thought at the beginning of this story that she had what it takes to do just that. People were concerned about her not talking to Dani about it – but I think that she didn’t really have that option, ‘cause Dani would just have said what she thought Tara wanted to hear. Same goes for Tara telling Dani she’d wanted her to come back, after the freeing. Even without the mark, Dani would want to do what Tara ‘told’ her to do, just because that’s how she was trained all her life.
I love how you’ve used Faith to finally talk some sense into Tara, or at least to make her see that it could be totally different from how Tara was seeing it. I think that any other person doing that – even Tadre – would be totally unbelievable, while Faith doing so just seems right.

The end was totally plausible, by the way. I can see your concerns whether it would be too soon or anyting, but I don’t see why that would be the case. Willow in her own mind admitting to loving Tara is something that comes quite naturally after her requesting the name of Willow. It solely reminds Tara – and all the readers – that Dani had loved her all those time. We just had to hear it from her, when she had the free will to say that she didn’t love Tara. Also, this was the only way for Dani to know that she did truly love Tara. So, yes, I truly loved and believed your ending to this amazing story.

Quote:
She lifted my mark to her lips. “You are my lady, always.”


My favourite line from this ending. It shows just the more that the “my lady” Dani used so much and so frequently wasn’t solely from the bond, it was really a way of expressing her love and affection.

Overall, I loved how you’ve created your own universe. It’s deep and it has its own rules, its own everything and you have the gift to set it on paper as if it were entirely normal. You brought us all to a world where tradition and rank has such high prestige, and instead of thinking “behave normally, you people!” I loved and cherished all those moments of traditions (e.g. the naming of all Tara’s ancestors at the celebrations of her markings). It’s REAL.

--

And, on a totally off-topic side note: Congratulations on the new addition to your family! I’m really happy for all three of you 

And, on another sidenote – this is the longest feedback I’ve ever given! Not that I’ve given much feedback, but still :P

Edited to add: :pinky I'm a floating rose!

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:26 am 
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Mierke – Hello. I am sorry for my delay in responding to your great feedback. I have to admit that I rely on the notes telling me there was a response. Since I didn’t get one, the only thing I can imagine is that the setting must get erased when a thread is moved. I’ll reset it on this one but in the meantime, I apologize.

First your feedback through chapter 13. Wow, dreaming about my universe? I do that but that’s the first time I’ve ever read that in feedback.

Quote:
You’ve really got me on my seat – what has happened that Tara is beating herself up so much? You’ve really got me feeling for her – not really mad, like most of the other readers, ‘cause I don’t think you can blame her for being so naïve. How could she know better anyway?
Yes, I think you’re very on target there. She really doesn’t know any better. She’s been brought up in this world and very much so doesn’t imagine any other world. It would be like asking a fish to imagine life outside of water. That is a fish’s universe.

Quote:
But I really am feeling WITH her, I felt her love and I felt her sadness and self-hatred in this chapter, where she’s admitting to us how she eventually realized that she abused Dani in the worst way ever.
Yes, exactly. I wanted to really show the reader Tara’s anguish, her current self-hatred.

You are exactly right that even though Tara’s actions are questionable, she’s neglecting the fact that Dani did initiate their intimacy the night of Tara ’s marking (before Dani was bound).

Wow, as hooked as JKR? That’s something at least.

Now at the end.

I think that you are right that for Tara to free Dani took amazing maturity. Dani’s a very valuable possession not to mention that there’s a chance she will leave and break Tara ’s heart. I agree that at the beginning of the story, Tara did not seem like the type who could make such a decision.

Quote:
People were concerned about her not talking to Dani about it – but I think that she didn’t really have that option, ‘cause Dani would just have said what she thought Tara wanted to hear. Same goes for Tara telling Dani she’d wanted her to come back, after the freeing. Even without the mark, Dani would want to do what Tara ‘told’ her to do, just because that’s how she was trained all her life.
Exactly. Tara could not rely on Dani to act freely unless she was given no direction at all. It seemed cruel at the time but was the only way to know Dani’s true wants.

I did consider Tadre as the voice of reason but it just wasn’t believable. The fact is that Tara outranks virtually everyone she knows. The only people at or near her social level (Lady Finn or Lady Masterson are close) would never speak of such things. Everyone else in Tara ’s life is beneath her in terms of rank (including her father and T’solde). So the initiative had to be taken by someone who could draw power from another source: truth, innate power, and love for Tara and Dani both. That said, Faith is still a smart-ass.

Quote:
We just had to hear it from her, when she had the free will to say that she didn’t love Tara .
Exactly and exactly as Tara needed as well. I’m glad the ending rang true for you.

I think that you are right that in many ways, Dani’s address of My Lady wasn’t just formal but a term of affection and in the same way, Tara ’s term “My Girl” wasn’t just a reminder of her possession of Dani but a term of affection for her.

Quote:
Overall, I loved how you’ve created your own universe. It’s deep and it has its own rules, its own everything and you have the gift to set it on paper as if it were entirely normal. You brought us all to a world where tradition and rank has such high prestige, and instead of thinking “behave normally, you people!” I loved and cherished all those moments of traditions (e.g. the naming of all Tara ’s ancestors at the celebrations of her markings). It’s REAL.
Wow. Thanks so much for those comments. As I’ve said before, this universe came to me over the course of a day or so as I started to ask myself questions. I was pondering the way some in BDSM like to think of actually owning someone. And then I said to myself, “what would a world be like in which someone actually does own someone?” That yielded this world.

Thanks for your congratulations. We are very excited. !!!!

Thank you.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:44 pm 
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2. Floating Rose

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I've come out of lurking to reply to this wonderful story. I've just finished reading it and already I miss the characters.

Others have compared this story to Harry Potter and I was thinking this even before I read about the comparison, but more because of this entire world that you have created complete with social and political structure, dress, language, food/drink, entertainment, etc. And, all this done from a single point of view. Quite impressive!

I've enjoyed all of the stories of yours I've read so far and you are one of my favorite writers here. While some of your other stories are closer to cannon and I enjoyed them for that; and although you sprinkled the characters throughout this story and made them your own while still keeping within their characters, your writing in this story creates an entirely different universe which I found intriguing and enjoyable. I really found myself pulled into this world and feeling what Tara was feeling and Dani/Willow as well.

OK, now that I've completed my gushing. I was wondering if you're still planning on writing the sequel? There's so much more I'd like to know.

There is one question I had that I don't think anyone mentioned. What did Xander whisper to Willow about
Quote:
"you … wished…"
and what did she say back? I'm guessing this is something that would be included in the sequel.


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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 5:42 pm 
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TinyWillow – Hi and welcome and thanks. I love it when someone delurks. I did it for a long time before I delurked to begin posting. Now I think it’s wonderful because as writers we truly want to know that people are reading and reacting to what we create. So again I say thank you.
I’m honored by the comparison to Harry Potter. Thank you.
Quote:
While some of your other stories are closer to cannon and I enjoyed them for that; and although you sprinkled the characters throughout this story and made them your own while still keeping within their characters, your writing in this story creates an entirely different universe which I found intriguing and enjoyable.
Yes, this story is where I truly stepped away from the BtVS world. I’m glad that you found it worked. Thank you.
Quote:
OK, now that I've completed my gushing. I was wondering if you're still planning on writing the sequel? There's so much more I'd like to know.
Yes, I’m still planning to write the sequel but I’m writing very slowly these days due to being busy at work and at home. I have another project to work on first and then I’ll be working on Willow’s Marks. Yes, the story will be narrated by Willow and will pick up a few years after the end of Waiting for Dani.
Re: Xander and Dani. It wasn’t anything terribly important or secretive. Basically he whispered that he had brought her home as she wished and she thanked him for doing so.
Thanks again for reading.

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 Post subject: Re: Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07
PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 9:21 am 
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3. Flaming O
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Debra,

As I promised some time ago I began reading this fic two days ago, and... I just couldn't stop. I think it was around 11 pm. on Wednesday when I read the first lines and 'cause I had a night-off work kept on reading until 5 am or so, when I finally had to go to sleep. After I woke up Thursday morning I couldn't get it out my head. After another overnight reading session I finished reading, but it was almost morning again and my head was spinning so I decided to leave feedback later.

What can I say? I love it. The whole story is incredibly well written. While I knew whole the time there will be happy ending, I doubted that it was even possible, and still the key to happy ending was forged and shown to us long time ago: the night after Tara's marking. Of course the only way this story could end happily (and obey KB rules) was that Dani loved Tara all the time, but hell, I was almost convinced that that wasn't the case.

Also, this world you've created is fascinating. You've done amazing job designing it: the ranking system, marks, the people in it, everything... It's very beautiful and cruel at the same time. I mostly though it was beautiful until Dani was marked. That part shocked me. To go through all that pain just because 'No herbs for servants' is just a horrible idea (and yet, we human beings can do, and do, a lot more cruel things than that) and there's the thing with mark-rights and so on.

There's so much to analyze here, and so many questions are still open, that I could spend rest of the week doing just that, and not only because it takes me much time to find to words to express myself. I will be very glad if there will be a sequel some day, but I wouldn't be disappointed if you left it as it is. I know you already said there will a sequel, but I felt I had say that anyway.

Best regards,
Jani

P.S.
I don't what happened, but reading this story left me with urgent need to listen to 'Stairway to Heaven'. May'be it's because 'lady' is mentioned during the song so many times. Or maybe I'm just a screwball.


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