grimlock72 – Don’t worry about the late.
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I'll probably re-read parts of this story anyway. Always good to read it as one whole story.
I was actually thinking the same thing this morning. I haven’t reread it since finishing.
Thanks on the pregnancy thoughts. The morning sickness is better but not great. Thanks.
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Tara knew the free-ing of a bond would affect Dani badly, so why was she all shocked when she saw it? Did she really not think ahead that much? Or didn't she WANT to? Leaving Dani all alone for the free-ing was a cowardly thing to do. Tara put her through that painfull event, she could have least have stayed to help ease Dani's pain. Such are things people do for loved ones you know.
You make a very good argument here. I will say in Tara’s defense that 1. she knew generally but not specifically just how hard the freeing would be. As we saw in Dani’s binding, the marks she took were far advanced from any this area has seen previously. To break a bond of this magnitude with people who a. are in love b. are this powerful and c. are both still alive was a little of a wildcard. 2. I think that Tara left because given her belief that she had taken such advantage of Dani she did not want to inflict herself on her victim (as it were). I’m not saying that it’s valid rationale but I think that was it.
Hmmm. You ask an interesting question about T’dre. I can assure you that T’dre did not leave Willow without someone to take care of her. In my mind, T’dre and her servant (who’s name I can not come up with at the moment) are still at the tavern. Additionally, Stefan was there and when Dani asked for Xander he came immediately. So it’s my intention that the four of them were there to care for her as appropriate.
As far as the meaning of her magic mark in everyday life: it carries no pay or job but it is a huge step in terms of her prestige. She is not a 5-mark servant who has been freed but a former 5-mark servant who is freed and is a magic user. In some people’s minds, this would place her above non-magic using nobility although in the official hierarchy her position is and will be quite unsure. Trust me that this question: Willow’s official hierarchical position will be a source of some contention and negotiation in the sequel.
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The beginning of this story suggests that Tara already has a new 'girl' as in is-bonded-to. That doesn't seem to be the case, she's merely venting anger over her own decision on the Maclay East staff, hardly 'new' people to her.
Damnit! Yes, you’ve found an incongruity of my writing and posting style. I had not though out the concept of her “new girl” thoroughly at the beginning of the story. When I began, I planned that she actually had an apprentice bonded servant. Someone who perhaps had not taken marks but was being trained. But as I wrote, it became clear to me that the “new girl” would not be bonded but would be a general servant of the house. So yes, she is not “new” at all but someone who is attempting to fill Dani’s position in a meager way.
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Speaking of staff and other people, Tara does have a LOT of explaining to do. They will obviously always obey her, but true respect is harder to get and such weird actions squander it away.
Agreed but I think that Tara is generally a pretty kind mistress and one that her people enjoy working for. I also think that in the sequel, her actions toward her staff will be very greatly influenced by having a partner who was formerly a servant. We’ll see how that translates, yes?
I totally hear you about the ending and as I’ve said, it was the source of my greatest angst. Being the KB we’re, of course, locked into the positive ending scenario. It was always my intention as I wrote that Dani loved Tara just as passionately and fiercely which made it hard to maintain the tension at times. I get that you’re undecided and certainly open to discussions of the ending and its fitness. You make a great point about Tara and how much time does she want to spend angsting over things in the past? She’s already spent part of this story.
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I probably should re-read the part where free-ing is described but does Willow still have the hip-mark? If not, how's that removed? Sounds awfully painfull to remove such a deep marking from a thigh. (and again smash smash for Tara not staying with Dani for that). Come to think of it, would the tigh need much more aftercare?
Great question. If you remember to when Tara saw Desiderata’s mark, the mark is not removed. The mark on the hand contains a spell which completely breaks the magic bonding but the mark/brand/tattoo can not be removed. Or it is beyond the progress and interest of this particular society to work on a “mark removal” procedure. So Dani will retain the mark for life but it carries no power any longer.
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Will Tara hire Willow as official servant or is that not allowed since a Lady *must* have a bonded servant?
Did I ever say that the lady must have one? I’m not challenging you; I honestly don’t remember. If so, I would like to change that. I believe that there has probably never been a lady who didn’t have one but now that will be called to question. The sequel will show a great many things about Tara’s situation. I will say that Tara will not hire Willow to perform her prior duties.
Willow’s job possibilities lay out in front of her with really no blueprint. She will have to figure out how to balance her relationship with her destiny and what purpose she would like to perform. She has great enough wealth that even if she left Tara, she would not be required to work for many years. Given that she is lover to a very powerful and wealthy member of the nobility she could certainly choose to be a kept woman but I do not believe that would be her choice. We shall see in the sequel what she chooses to do. I will promise that a trip to Maclay Main and a long conversation with her mother is in order and is paramount to the sequel.
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About the title of the new story, Willow's lastname didn't change can't you use that somehow?
I’m not convinced that Willow has a last name. When D’Shel arrived she introduced herself as being “from the Estate of the Roses.” She did not actually give a last name and I’m not sure that she would produce one (yes, she has one) if asked. Willow would not have been given a last name at all. The closest she would have would be Willow formerly of the House of Maclay. She could choose one but that takes me back to my issue of associating the new story with this one. My leading candidate is “Willow’s Destiny” but unless I post it as “Willow’s Destiny – Sequel to Waiting for Dani”, I don’t see how a reader will know that it is that story. You know?
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As a writer how difficult was it to write from a one-person perspective only?
Fantastic question and one that I could discuss for days and not feel bored. It was both difficult and easy. It was difficult because of the limitations. At times I really wanted to add some exposition from another narrator and you will note that there are times that I was forced to do just this. On the way home from the first wedding trip, I relied on Anne and the other children to discuss the topic of marks-rights. And I had to use Faith to provide my exposition on the “normalcy” (for lack of a better term) of Tara and Dani’s relationship. And there were other topics that I was simply unable to elaborate on as it would not have been appropriate for the “lady” to have that knowledge or to have access to those conversations. This story told entirely from Dani’s pov would have been a
much more informed narrative. At the same time, there are ways in which it was incredibly easy.
Let me think about how to explain what was easy. Think of
School Days. That narrative at times required some narrative gymnastics to avoid letting the characters in on the truth of their situations [spoiler]that Faith and Buffy were Slayers and Tara a student teacher and Willow a teacher[/spoiler]. I was forced to arrange interruptions, short conversations, and misunderstandings to maintain the farce. In this fic, on the other hand, it was much easier to keep Tara from certain knowledge. I simply did not allow her to come in contact with those who might have the knowledge to impart. Or if they had the knowledge, her situation kept them from sharing it with her.
One challenge was that she was so unreliable. I had to balance the level at which the reader could trust her with making her narrative readable and understandable. I needed the reader to sympathize with her but also feel frustration with her. In many ways, I relied on the reader much more than ever before. I absolutely needed the reader to be invested in the story and to fill in the (abundant) gaps left by Tara with her own interpretation (which the readers here did beautifully).
As I said I could go on, but I don’t want to bore everyone. Thanks for the great question. And of course thanks for your awesome and intense feedback.
ellbogen – Hi there. Sorry to interfere with your sleep but I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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ellbogen (from the Meditation thread)
Lol. Yes, I recognized your log-in. Welcome.
Mary – Welcome back! I hear that you’re joining us with an effort next month and I can’t wait to read it. Yay.
Re: pregnancy. Thrilled isn’t even the word. Rachel’s so excited she throws up regularly. Ok, maybe that’s not the excitement and honestly, the regurgitation has been less frequent the last few weeks. Planned? Lol. Planned, prayed for, and paid in cash. Thanks.
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…but forgive my presumption if I say that for me, the entire story was summed up in Tara's poignant question:
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"Can she have the ability to say yes if she doesn't have the ability to say no?"
Absolutely. This particular discussion came about via a private discussion I had with one reader who felt that Dani’s consent was implicit (you know who you are: please correct me if I misrepresent here) throughout. Of course, she was 100% correct in that Dani did love Tara and did wish to consent but I completely think that the bottom line is Dani’s inability to fail to give consent. As you say, they could not pretend that the power imbalance did not exist. Or they could pretend this but not terribly successfully.
Thanks for your comments regarding Tara’s growing dread. It was a challenge to write this given that she told her story from the point of knowing her own pain and guilt. Yet, I wanted to mostly give the tone of her story at the time with only the small intrusions to remind the reader of the present tone. As you say, resolving the issue of their power imbalance was crucial to the story. It’s very cliché but Cam pegged it very early on: “If you love something set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” In a lot of ways, that phrase was the basis for the conclusion here. And as you point out, Dani was attuned enough to Tara to understand what she had to do.
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… I think the marks were most powerful to me. I was struck by the way that they created and perpetuated both incredibly formal systems of rank and were also used or wielded in such intimate ways; the baring of hips, e.g., to allow inspection and subsequent "placement."
I am glad that you found the imagery and power of the marks to be moving. I wished many times throughout this tale that I had the ability of someone like Chris or Emms to put the images in my head onto paper for others to see. Believe me when I say that this is a daily concern as my son has gone from simply wanting me to write letters and numbers on the magna-doodle (a skill at which I felt reasonably proficient) to wanting me to draw a picture of Danny dancing on the car in Greased Lightning or Lizzy walking in the rain in Pride and Prejudice or all three dreamgirls singing Move, Move, Move.
I agree with you that power can be very subtle as can love. In this particular case, I wanted to create a society in which the nobility understand the symbiosis of themselves and their “people.” I hope to do so even more in the next story. I considered some discussion on Tara’s part of the abuse some nobility visited on their servants and stories that Dani would have heard but I did not want to suggest the idea into the reader’s mind that this was where her angst was going.
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To me, it begs so many questions, only one of which is: do we need hierarchies? Must there be those who have more and whose duty it is (or should be) to help those with less? What's the phrase..."To whom much is given, much is expected"? Is that it?
Class, discuss the imperative of socio-economic hierarchy and its relative merits and dangers.
I think you bring up a very complex set of questions here. I will say that I don’t feel that hierarchies are necessary but that they are going to be an implicit or explicit generation of virtually every societal model we could design. I would like to envision a world in which every person, from childhood on, is encouraged to pursue that vocation which he loves and is good at (hopefully for him that will be the same). But it also seems that we would have some who love leading and those who love serving (and I mean that in a very broad sense). This past week we went on vacation with my extended family. The children ranged in age from 3 to 10 and at some point I made some benign comment that one of my relatives did not seem to appreciate. I had said something to the effect that the kids could do whatever they wanted and that I hoped whatever profession they pursued, it would be something that was “helpful.” One of my relatives seemed to think that the idea was too limiting and that we should support their simply doing whatever they wanted. I didn’t want to argue but I certainly hope that my children want to do something which is helpful.
I’m glad you enjoyed Faith here (I usually do of course).
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"Creator, I've...well, never mind. We're not talking about me."
But if you ever want to write a sequel exploring that very subject...
Not a sequel but you certainly may want to check out my newest story
Working It Out.
I’m glad you enjoyed the humor of my insertions of cannon characters. I’m considering only one more for the sequel but I’m not sure if it will be appreciated. I may have to take suggestions or something… Thanks so much.
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Yet again must I apologive for my delay but please know that when I finally had time to sit down to the board, yours was the first story I returned to. This was indeed your best story yet, Debra, and you've written some great ones. Would love to talk more on PM about the crafting.
No worries and I’m honored to be your first. I agree with you that it was my best but appreciate the thought nonetheless. Sure, let’s talk about writing any time. I did so to some extent in the response above but that was mainly on one topic.
Thanks so much and welcome back.
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I love this story.
Congratulations on Rachel's pregnancy and hope all is well with everything else. (I saw your email on work, I need to write you about July sometime this week.)
. None of that occured. Which is very true to life and does add to the story that way, but I was wondering if that was intentional??
I'm a floating rose!