Chapter Seven
Tara adjusted her shoulders against the propped-up hospital bed and sighed.
Willow was on the chair beside her, her arm strewn on the bed with her head resting on top as she snored softly. She’d been there all afternoon and Tara was already wincing at the crick she knew would be in her wife’s neck when she woke up.
It was a distraction from wondering what was going on with her own body though, and if it was affecting the babies.
She resisted stroking Willow’s hair, giving her as much time as possible to avoid her fate.
The light was disappearing through the window blinds but Tara had no idea what time it was and didn’t feel much like moving to find out.
Except she would like to know how long she'd been there and what was going on. All she’d been told so far between fleeting nurse visits was she was being kept in for observation.
The door peeked open and when Tara looked over she spotted Dr. Wells sneaking in quietly. The doctor offered her a smile.
“Not waking you, am I?” she asked quietly.
Tara shook her head.
“They came to take my blood pressure again a little while ago. Hard to stay asleep when you’re being squeezed like that.”
Dr. Wells looked at her sympathetically as she picked up Tara’s chart to read it.
“One of these days you’re going to have to actually come to a scheduled appointment and not in a hospital bed,” she said as she flicked through and put it on the end of the bed again, “How are you feeling?”
“A bit out of sorts,” Tara admitted, “They haven’t told us anything. Did I get dehydrated again? I know it was warm yesterday but I’ve been drinking water like it’s going out of fashion. They said the babies are okay but are they just telling me that to keep me calm?”
Dr. Wells consulted the chart again, then looked toward Willow.
“Do you want to wake her?”
Tara paused nervously and glanced over at Willow.
“It’s the beeping,” she explained, somewhat defensively, “She finds robotic noises soothing. A-and she got up early with the kids.”
“There’s no need to explain,” Dr. Wells replied graciously, “I’ve known many people to fall asleep in times of great stress. It’s actually the same exact neural pathway that handles wakefulness which also controls a key aspect of our stress response so it's not not unusual.”
Tara smiled gratefully.
She hovered her hand above Willow’s head for a moment, then brought it down gently to stroke her hair.
It took a few seconds but then Willow’s eyes peeked out from under her arm and her face grew pained as a hand flew to the back of her neck.
“The doctor is here,” Tara said softly.
Willow’s head flew up which produced a groan but she quickly stood up and offered her attention.
“What is it, what’s happening?”
“Hi Willow,” Dr. Wells smiled warmly and picked the chart up again, holding it in front of her, “The reason they keep taking your blood pressure is because it’s a little low. It’s likely why you fainted.”
“Why is her blood pressure low?” Willow asked groggily as she blinked away the last of her sleep.
Dr. Wells flicked through the chart again.
“The blood work indicates that you’re anemic. Which is not at all unusual during pregnancy. We’ll add in a B12 supplement and everything should even out.”
“That’s great,” Willow said through a relieved breath, but her brow started to crease again at the silence in the room, “Right?”
Dr. Wells sat on the bottom corner of the bed.
“Tara, when you came in, your blood sugar was very high. What had you eaten prior to collapsing?”
Tara frowned.
“I had breakfast. We had eggs. I had a glass of orange juice, would that do it?”
“But you also threw it all back up,” Willow added in, “Her morning sickness has been awful.”
“It’s not that bad,” Tara dismissed, “I can control it with tea.”
Willow frowned this time.
“She’s also had headaches.”
Tara sat up uncomfortably.
“Well, obviously I’m tiring easier these days.”
“And she’s wobbly sometimes,” Willow said, shaking her head as she was starting to put the pattern of symptoms together.
Tara’s brow furrowed.
“It’s just moments of clouded vision, I thought maybe I needed glasses.”
Willow’s face snapped toward Tara in annoyance.
“When are you going to learn that not taking care of yourself is not taking care of our family?!”
Dr. Wells stood to her full height in an attempt to calm the situation.
“Okay, Willow perhaps you could step out for a moment—”
“No, I’m…” Willow immediately shrunk back and blinked several times, “I’m sorry. I know that wasn’t helpful, I’m sorry. I-I’ll leave if Tara wants me to leave.”
Tara reached out and took Willow’s hand.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
Willow mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ and Tara just nodded and squeezed their hands together.
Dr. Wells gently folded her arms across her chest and moved a step closer.
“Tara, they want to test for something called gestational diabetes. It’s on the early side for it to present, but your blood work warrants investigation. Your glucose levels may just have been skewed if you were vomiting frequently but they’re having a little trouble stabilizing it again.”
Tara paled and Willow’s mouth dropped.
“Die…diabetes?” she asked, her voice trembling, “But Tara’s the healthiest of the lot of us.”
“It’s not inherited from lifestyle. Having a healthy diet and exercise regime will be a good thing if she has developed the condition,” Dr. Wells replied reassuringly, “The good news is for the vast, vast majority of women, it doesn’t extend beyond pregnancy.”
She gave them a moment but something beeped on her waist and she had to continue.
“You have to be fasting for eight hours for the test so they’ll be keeping you overnight. Have you eaten anything since you’ve been here?”
Tara shook her head, her face still stony and shocked.
“Um, no. No. Just some water.”
Dr. Wells nodded.
“They’ll give you a glucose drink and draw your blood before and after. In pregnancy, we usually do this twice with different concentrations to confirm it. If you do have it, then we can take next steps. But it is very manageable and as Willow said, your healthy lifestyle will only benefit you.”
She patted Tara’s hand.
“I’m doing a delivery here today so I’ll check in on you. Babies don’t recognize federal holidays,” she joked and looked sympathetic again when the room remained understandably silent, “Don’t worry, Tara. You and the babies are in the best hands.”
“T-Thanks, doctor,” Willow said in an echoing tone and Dr. Wells offered them both a soft smile before leaving.
Neither of them said anything and Willow had to snap herself into action.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”
She fussed over Tara’s pillow and blanket.
Tara put a hand on Willow’s arm and slid it down to her wrist.
“You should get out of here. It sounds like it’s going to be another while, at least.”
Willow’s brow creased in concern.
“I’m just going to try and sleep,” Tara continued, “I need the rest.”
Willow nodded slowly.
“Yeah, no, you should rest,” she said, straightening her back up and feeling lots of muscle movement, “Um, okay, I’ll let you sleep. Becky said…oh man, I hope she’s not still hanging around the waiting room. I’ll call her and ask her to bring me to get the car.”
Tara nodded back.
“And the kids.”
Willow blinked heavily.
Everything was still on a go-slow.
“Right, the kids,” she swallowed, “Um…I’ll…I’ll check in with Xander. Maybe they wouldn’t mind keeping them. They said they could sleep over.”
Tara linked her fingers with Willow.
“Willow, there’s no point in you coming back until the morning. Be with the kids.”
Willow’s pained eyes fell to Tara’s face.
“I wanna stay with you. I’ve…I’ve always stayed with you.”
Tara smiled sadly.
“Before we had children who need their Momma.”
Willow gulped.
“I don’t want you to be alone.”
Tara shook her head.
“I need a Willow who’s had a good night’s sleep. That little chair will kill you. That’s if you’re even able to sweet-talk the nurses into letting you stay,” she said and her lips sloped up in a crooked smile, “What am I saying, of course, you would.”
She squeezed Willow’s hand.
“But you shouldn’t. I’d just be worried about the kids and I’m really trying to keep my head together right now. For the babies.”
“For the babies,” Willow repeated with a short, sure not, “Okay, well I’ll swing back with some pajamas and home comforts. Phone charger and stuff so we can call to say goodnight.”
“Thank you, yes,” Tara nodded quickly.
“Do you want anything to eat?” Willow asked, trying to be helpful, then swallowed again, “Oh. Guess I better leave that to them.”
“Yeah, I think so,” Tara replied, biting her bottom lip, “Maybe just my face spritz. To keep cool.”
“Of course,” Willow said and looked at Tara for a long moment before cupping both of her cheeks and leaning down to kiss her.
“I love you so much,” she whispered, resting her forehead on Tara’s forehead, “All of you.”
Tara closed her hand around the back of Willow’s neck and held her there.
“We know.”
They stayed in that moment until the door opened and a nurse came in to check Tara’s vitals again.
Willow pulled back and cleared her throat.
“Um, well, I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Give the kids a big hug from me,” Tara requested and Willow just nodded.
She pressed two fingers to her lips and blew it over before slipping out the door to stop Tara from seeing her tears.
She wiped them away as she made her way back down the elevator and only remembered at the last second before exiting the building that she hadn’t driven.
She walked back to the waiting room and felt her heart clench when she saw Becky sitting in a plastic chair with her chin on her chest and her eyes closed.
Willow hurried over and put a hand on her shoulder.
“Becky,” she said apologetically when Becky opened her eyes jadedly, “I’m so sorry.”
Becky stretched as she stood up.
“I said I’d be here,” she said in a reassuring tone, “What’s happening?”
“She’s okay. The babies,” Willow stopped and swallowed, “Are okay. She’s…she’s anemic and they think she might have diabetes?”
Becky’s eyebrows furrowed deeply.
“Huh?!”
“It’s pregnancy-related,” Willow tried to explain, though she wasn’t sure she understood herself, “She won’t have it forever, if she does have it at all…but they’re keeping her in. I-I need to get her a few things, I…”
Becky just nodded.
“We’ll go to your house.”
Willow looked down and shook her head.
“You don’t have to—”
Becky slapped a hand on Willow’s back and led her wordlessly out of the hospital toward the parking lot.
They got strapped into the car and Becky smirked across as she started the engine.
“So, twins, huh?” she asked in a teasing tone, “You’re fucking nuts. Have you crunched the numbers on how many kids that will mean you have?”
Willow couldn’t help but chuckle.
“It’s the kind of ‘buy one, get one free’ you can’t refuse.”
“Hey, this technically means one of your kids was unplanned,” Becky joked and Willow let out a big belly laugh.
Becky brought Willow home and waited in the car while she packed up a bag for Tara. Willow had to hunt out the spare key and some of the cash they kept for emergencies since she had nothing in her pockets but her phone.
On the way back to the hospital, they stopped by the store to get some magazines and fresh water which Willow carried back up to Tara’s room.
Inside, the room was silent apart from the gentle whirr of machines. Willow snuck past Tara’s fast-asleep form and put the bag on the chair so Tara could reach it when she woke up. Willow fixed the blanket and placed the gentlest of kisses on Tara’s lips before leaving again, stopping at the door to give one last longing look back.
She returned to the car and Becky just pulled out from the spot, respecting Willow’s obvious need for silence.
At the Harris household, Willow heard Robyn crying before she’d even gotten in the door.
Xander, holding and trying to soothe her in arms, looked apologetic as Willow walked into the living room.
“I’m sorry, Willow. We tried to put her down. Not even her binky is working.”
“It’s okay,” Willow said with a tired smile, reaching out to pluck Robyn from Xander’s arms, “It’s okay, baby. Momma's here.”
Robyn threw her little arms around Willow’s neck as best she could and blew snot bubbles against Willow’s skin until she calmed down.
Willow just silently stroked her back and sat on the couch. Xander and Anya checked if she needed anything, then left her alone. As she cradled Robyn, she heard Becky’s car leaving again.
Eventually, Robyn’s only movement was the soft rise and fall of her chest. Willow stayed still with her, needing the baby cuddles as much as the actual baby until a ray of light shone inside as the door peeked open.
“Momma?”
Willow looked over and blinked several times to bring herself back into the room.
“Jakey. Come here.”
She held her arm out and JJ hurried over on the tips of his bare feet, stretching out the slightly-too-small PJs he’d borrowed from Alex. JJ situated himself snugly under Willow’s arm with his knees pulled up to his chest.
“Mom is okay. She just needs to rest,” Willow reassured, rubbing his arm up and down, “You must have gotten a big scare.”
JJ reached over to pick up the pacifier clipped onto Robyn’s jammies and popped it into her slightly opened mouth. After a moment, Robyn’s mouth closed around it and she began to suck.
“I took care of Robyn,” JJ answered plainly.
“Well I’m here now to take care of you both,” Willow said, kissing the top of JJ’s head.
“Are the babies okay?” JJ asked with creased eyes.
Willow nodded reassuringly.
“Everything is okay. And we can see Mom tomorrow.”
JJ’s face evened out and he snuggled back into Willow. They silently cuddled for several minutes until Robyn started rubbing her nose against Willow’s collarbone and then looked up sleepily.
“‘om-mah?” Robyn garbled under her pacifier as if she might be a mirage.
“I’m here baby,” Willow soothed, “Let’s call Mommy and say night-night and then get you two up to bed.”
They called Tara who had obviously just woken up as well but hid it well. They all said goodnight to her and Willow checked in with cautious language to make sure she was doing okay.
Willow got the kids tucked in again quietly so as not to disturb the other sleeping children.
When she got back downstairs she went into the kitchen where Xander and Anya were talking. A beer was thrust at her, which she took gratefully.
“Is it okay to crash on the couch? Just, with the kids here and everything.”
“We already made up the guest room for ya Wills,” Xander smiled tenderly, reaching out to clutch Willow’s shoulder and giving it an affectionate squeeze.
Willow smiled back weakly and her eyes darted from side to side. She looked over her shoulder.
“Maybe I’ll try to go sneak back into the hospital room.”
“Willow. No,” Xander replied gently and pulled her into a proper hug, “It's just for one night.”
Willow’s brow furrowed.
“Yeah, I-I know, but…it's a whole night. I don't think I can sleep without her.”
“You can sleep with me,” Anya offered with a sincere smile.
They both looked at Anya with raised eyebrows. Anya started to frown.
“Well, now that came out a lot more lesbian than it sounded in my head.”
“That’s actually really nice, Anya,” Willow said, her eyes flashing over to her gratefully for a moment, “But I’ll be fine in the guest room.”
She looked at the unopened bottle of beer again and put it down on the counter.
“Actually I think I might just go and try and get some sleep. I’ll get my Dad to take the kids tomorrow so we’ll be out of your hair. I’ll figure out a babysitter or something if Tara has to stay in longer than the weekend.”
“We got you, Will,” Xander promised, “Whatever you need. Becky filled us in.”
Willow offered as much of a smile as she could and lifted her hand in a short wave before retreating back upstairs to the guest room. Realizing she had brought absolutely nothing for herself, she stripped down and tied the robe hanging on the back of the door around her.
She laid down and began her night of fistful sleep.
Willow snuck into the hospital room intending to be silent as a mouse but Tara was awake and idly flipping through a magazine Willow had brought her yesterday.
“Hey, honey,” Willow said softly as she stepped in fully.
“Hey,” Tara replied, perking up as she saw her wife’s face.
She sat up more fully and put the magazine off to the side.
“How are the kids?”
“Fine. Good,” Willow said, coming over to the bedside and kissing Tara’s cheek, “JJ is feeling it more. I don’t think Robyn actually saw anything, she was just mad she was taken away from the paddling pool and missed her bedtime routine.”
She sighed and took Tara’s hand.
“She was upset when I went back. She needed a cuddle,” she smiled weakly at Tara, “So did I.”
She pulled the chair forward so it was right by the bed and she wouldn’t have to let go of Tara’s hand.
“Any updates?”
“They’ve done all the tests so we just have to wait for the results,” Tara replied, her voice clearly apprehensive.
Willow brought Tara’s hand to her mouth and kissed her knuckles.
“How are you feeling?”
Tara’s eyes grew downcast.
“Okay, I think. They brought me some toast right after the last blood draw and it was the nicest toast I’ve ever had. I was starving.”
“Honey,” Willow replied sympathetically, rubbing her thumb over Tara’s fingers, “Well my Dad took the kids this morning. They’re good to stay there for the weekend if needs be. They’ll settle better there.”
“Did you apologize for me ruining the BBQ?” Tara asked with her shoulders fallen in on themselves.
Willow shot Tara a look.
“Are you kidding me right now, Tara?”
Tara reached out and cupped Willow’s cheek.
“You’re tired,” she deduced pretty easily, “Did you sleep at all?”
Willow looked down guiltily.
“One stretch lasted an entire seven seconds.”
Tara tucked some hair behind Willow’s ear.
“Go home and—”
Willow looked right up.
“Don’t,” she cut Tara off before she could even say it, “Would you?”
Tara let her hand fall away and then used it to pat the bed.
Willow cocked her head.
“Tara…”
“Willow…” Tara teased back in a soft voice with an accompanying crooked smile and patted the bed again.
Willow felt like her body was being pulled onto the bed like a magnet and found herself curling up alongside Tara; taking up as little room as possible and yet feeling the most comfortable she had ever been.
Tara stroked Willow’s hair and Willow pressed a light kiss into Tara’s neck.
Thankfully Willow heard the door opening before it did and she was able to quickly stand off to the side before Dr. Wells came in.
She greeted them but quickly got to the point.
“The diabetes test has come back positive.”
Tara’s hand tightened in Willow’s. She took a moment, closing her eyes and opening them again, glassy.
“Is it dangerous for the babies?” she asked in a tense voice.
“Not as long as we keep it in control. Which we will,” Dr. Wells promised, “You will need more frequent check-ups and if you were considering home birth as you did last time I cannot recommend you proceed with the idea. I wouldn’t even be comfortable with a complication-free twin home birth so it’s not a huge loss for you, I hope.”
“We hadn’t talked about it,” Tara replied, glancing over to Willow, “I was nervous when it was Willow but it all happened so fast in the end. I’m okay with doing it in the hospital. Whatever is best for the babies.”
“And Tara,” Willow added on in concern, “What’s best for Tara too.”
She rubbed Tara’s arm and Dr. Wells nodded.
“Of course. Let me go through everything you need to know.”
She outlined what the diagnosis meant for Tara going forward and what she might expect of her pregnancy as it advanced. It wasn’t too overwhelming but still made Willow feel very, very nervous.
“Any questions?” Dr. Wells asked at the end.
“Can she go home?” Willow asked, swallowing deeply.
Dr. Wells smiled sympathetically.
“They want to keep you but I know you must be anxious to get home to the kids. So on the balance of anxieties, I’d prefer to see you at home too, if you’re willing to have a home nurse check in for a couple of days and stay on bed rest until we stabilize your blood pressure and sugars. After that, we’ll discuss a follow-up appointment for a nutrition and exercise plan to go forward with.”
She stopped and scribbled something on Tara’s chart.
“You’ll need to get a blood glucose monitoring kit. Check morning and night and then after every meal,” she said and looked between them with a softly creased brow when they both looked a bit ashen, “I know this is overwhelming.”
“I’ll take care of her,” Willow said quickly, squeezing Tara’s hand.
Dr. Wells nodded and smiled at Willow.
“Well, I just called by to check on you before I go into my clinic for the day. I’ll discuss what we talked about with the doctors here and they’ll organize your discharge.”
“Thank you so much for coming by,” Tara replied, pushing herself up on her palms to sit straighter, “I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” Dr. Wells smiled again, “Everything will be okay. I’ve had hundreds of patients navigate this without any harm done to mom or baby. Feel better, Tara.”
Tara thanked her again and Willow echoed it. Willow watched her leave and ran a hand back through her hair.
“I’m gonna go call our insurance and see what I can organize.”
“Okay,” Tara said, biting the side of her lip.
Willow leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
“You heard her. Everything will be okay.”
“Yeah,” Tara replied, closing her eyes, “Of course.”
Willow hugged her sidelong for a minute or so and then pushed away to try and organize the nurse; just to give her something to do, to feel like she was helpful.
Tara dropped her head back against the angled bed and looked up at the ceiling. She put a hand on her belly and closed her eyes.
She only remembered feeling this scared once before and it was the moment she realized her father's bullet had pierced Willow and not her.
But Willow had been okay.
And the babies would be too; Tara had to believe that.
Quietly, she opened her mouth and started to sing under her breath.
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it throughThe last words were barely spoken out loud as she tried to just breathe. She’d sung that song to Willow after the 'incident' and it had helped. So maybe this time it would help too. They were Willow's babies, after all.
Willow blew in like a hurricane a little while later and while Tara hadn’t been asleep, she did feel jolted out of whatever place she’d been in.
“Thank god for health insurance,” Willow said as she went to pick up her purse to find a pen, “I suddenly feel like making a very big donation to Planned Parenthood.”
She ended up groaning in frustration and upending her bag onto the floor.
Tara jumped and reached out to grab her arm.
“Honey.”
Willow’s fist balled by her side.
“I have to write this number down before I forget.”
“Write it on your phone,” Tara advised softly.
Willow looked down at the phone in her hand and gulped.
“Right.”
She entered the phone number and saved it for safety but the tremble in her fingers was too much to actually commit to the call.
Tara noticed and tried to pull Willow closer gently by tugging on her hand.
“Willow…”
Willow’s jaw tensed and she visibly held back tears.
“You’re gonna be okay,” she said to convince herself more than Tara, “We’ll adjust our meals, go on family walks in the evenings. We’re all in this together. You won’t have to take care of the babies alone after they’re born and you don’t have to before either.”
“It’s okay to say that you’re scared,” Tara replied in a soft tone, “I am.”
Willow remained stoic.
“It’s fine. It's all good.”
Tara reached up and caressed Willow’s cheek.
“Hey, Will, this is me. It doesn't all have to be ‘good’ and ‘fine’. This is the room where you don't have to be brave. I still love you. If you're worried you can be worried.”
Willow sank down onto the side of the bed.
“This room doesn’t feel too comforting.”
“Not the hospital room,” Tara said with a tender, sloped smile, “The…space…any space…where it’s just us.”
“The cosmic room of commitment,” Willow suggested with some forced joviality.
“There you go,” Tara replied warmly, moving her hand down to Willow’s upper arm and rubbing there.
Willow swallowed deeply and brought her gaze over to Tara.
“I’m scared.”
Tara nodded slowly.
“I know. Me too.”
Willow’s eyes closed and a tear escape.
“C’mere,” Tara said and they bundled together again on the bed as they had earlier, holding each other.
Neither cried but they didn’t speak either and just tried to process everything in silence together. Willow actually felt stronger for it and was able to pull herself away with a new sense of purpose.
“Okay, I have to call this home nurse agency and I need to check in with my Dad and the kids…he said they could stay for the weekend so it shouldn’t be a problem.”
Tara shook her head.
“I want them at home.”
Willow paused and pursed her lips for a moment.
“You heard the doctor, you have to be on bed rest for a couple of days at least. Our children are not the ‘resting’ type.”
“Willow, please,” Tara pleaded softly, “I just want to be at home with my family.”
Willow sighed.
“Okay, but you have to back up my bad cop if they’re trying to crawl all over you.”
Tara smiled softly.
“Sergeant Stern, reporting for duty.”
“Alright,” Willow agreed, starting to smile, “I’ll go figure things out so we can go home.”
She kissed Tara’s cheek and left the room again to make her phone calls outside.
Finally, everything came together and Willow was wheeling Tara out to the car. She fussed over the angle of the seat and the pull of the safety belt.
“Willow, I’m okay,” Tara said, placing her hands over Willow’s arm to stall her, “I know you’re just worried. I get it. But please treat me normally. You make me feel sicker when you treat me like an invalid.”
Willow held her hands up.
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
She pressed down on the buckle and Tara playfully slapped her away, making her giggle.
“Alright, alright.”
They smiled at each other and Tara dropped her hand onto Willow’s and squeezed it. Willow linked their fingers for a moment, then nodded and closed the door so she could go around to the driver’s side.
The drive home was thankfully uneventful and Tara enjoyed a moment in the front yard before she forced herself inside for her hopefully short stint stuck inside.
Willow noticed and came up behind her to stroke her back.
“We’ll keep the window open so you can hear the birds sing.”
Tara smiled and reached back to hold the hand sitting on her shoulder.
Willow led them inside and Tara made her way upstairs, negotiating the baby gates on her way and wondering why they kept them at all when Robyn often just climbed right over.
She went into the bedroom and ran her hand behind the back of her neck. There’d been many a weekend she and Willow had never left the bed but this didn’t have quite the same allure to it.
“Willow, I’m going to have a shower,” she called down, poking her head out of the door.
“Okay, I’ll bring you tea!” Willow called back.
Tara smiled, despite everything. It was never difficult to feel loved in this house.
She went into the bathroom and ran the shower. She looked at herself in the mirror as it got to temperature. Her eyes betrayed her less-than-stellar night and she suddenly felt the weariness come over her. She undressed and stepped under the spray, grateful to feel the water wash away her day-and-a-half of sweat.
She kept the shower brief and dressed in cool pajamas. Just as she was settling some pillows behind her back, Willow walked in with a cup of tea.
“Your fave. Cinnamon. Good for nausea
and sugar control, apparently,” she said with a helpful smile as she set it down on the nightstand and stood back to look at Tara, “Your color is better.”
Tara nodded back against the pillows.
“It’s good to be home.”
Willow perched herself on the edge of the bed and ran her hand up and down Tara’s thigh.
“I read a bunch last night when I couldn’t sleep. Loaded up my brain on low GI foods and simple carbohydrates. Bet I could ace a Food Nutrition exam.”
Tara smiled softly but before she could respond, the doorbell rang.
“That’s probably my Dad with the kids,” Willow said, standing up again.
“I want to say hello,” Tara requested and Willow looked back and nodded before disappearing.
Tara heard her children long before she saw them as well as the shushing from Willow as she brought them upstairs.
When Robyn got to the door and spotted her mother, she flailed excitedly and started to make a running jump.
Willow caught her just short of doing a back spring onto the bed.
“Hey, what did I just tell you?”
“She’s okay,” Tara said with a v in her brow at seeing Robyn’s sad little face at being reprimanded.
Willow looked at her intently.
“Is Sargent Stern available please?”
Tara relented but held her arms open. Willow delicately placed Robyn in her lap and Tara wrapped an arm around her while keeping the other open for JJ to come around and cuddle on the other side.
“How are my little loves doing?”
“We missed you,” JJ said with his head down.
Willow sat on the bed and patted his back while Tara dropped a kiss on top of his head.
“I missed you too.”
“Mom-mee why go?” Robyn asked, her bright blue eyes looking up at Tara, wounded.
“Well, Robbie,” Tara started and looked over to Willow who nodded for her to continue, “I had to go because my tummy felt funny. And guess what?”
“Wha’?” Robyn asked, her mouth lifting in a grin.
Tara placed her palm on her stomach and pulled up her top to show her the bump.
At least she could make the reveal to one person.
“You’re gonna be a big sister,” she said with appropriate awe, “I have babies in my belly.”
Willow nudged JJ and winked at him while Robyn looked around all of them with a little confused face.
“Mom-mee 'ave bay-bee?”
“Babies,” Willow corrected, holding up two fingers, “Two.”
Robyn’s brow furrowed some more.
“Mom-mee 'ave bubbies?”
Tara brought Robyn’s hands onto her stomach to feel.
“Yes, Mommy has two babies in her belly. Like when you were in Momma’s belly.”
Robyn felt around for a few moments and lifted her hand but before she could slap it down or anything else, JJ grabbed her.
“So we gotta be gentle and not hit Mom’s stomach or anything okay?”
“O’tay!” Robyn agreed obediently from her big brother, “Bubbies wan’ play?”
“The babies have to grow in Mommy’s belly for a while,” Willow explained, “They have to grow big and strong like you!”
“No play?” Robyn asked with a protruding lower lip.
“Not yet,” Tara replied with a sympathetic back rub.
Robyn looked at Willow hopefully.
“Mom-mah play?”
“Guess I can’t use the big and strong excuse,” Willow grumbled and then felt a very insistent toddler tug, “Okay, okay, I’m coming.”
Willow followed Robyn out to play in her room and Tara took the opportunity to have a moment with JJ.
“You’re a good boy,” she said, squeezing him sidelong, “The babies are very lucky to have you as a big brother.”
“A-Are they okay?” JJ asked with a nervous tilt to his voice.
Tara nodded and looked at him reassuringly.
“Yes. I just have to look after myself so I can take care of them,” she said, gesturing around them, “So I have to stay in bed for a couple of days. Will you help your Momma?”
JJ nodded diligently.
“I can make breakfast and bring Robyn on my walks with Woofy.”
Tara’s brow furrowed.
“Why don’t you ask Mrs. Potts if Woofy can come over here to play with you both instead.”
“Okay,” JJ shrugged.
Tara opened her arms.
“Can I have a hug?”
JJ ‘obliged’ though he seemed to need it too as he lingered.
Moments after they parted, Willow appeared in the doorway with pink clips stuck in all fashions all over her hair. JJ and Tara looked at each other and shared a hidden smile.
“Okay Jakey, Mommy needs to rest now,” Willow advised and JJ jumped down off the bed to follow her out, “Is grilled fish okay for dinner? Green beans, maybe some quinoa?”
“That sounds really good,” Tara nodded, trying her hardest to take Willow seriously when she looked like that.
Willow put her arm around JJ and smiled back.
“Call down if you need anything. I’ll check on you too.”
Tara exhaled softly, settled back against the pillows and finally picked up her tea.
Tara stared at the multiple empty cups sitting on her nightstand and didn’t react as her finger was pricked to draw a drop of blood.
Catching it on a strip, a nurse named April slot the strip into a machine and waited for the beep. She smiled at Tara.
“Good. Your sugars are finally stabilizing.”
Willow came into the room carrying a tray with yet another cup of cinnamon tea and a bowl of oatmeal also topped with cinnamon. It was now having the odd effect of both causing and soothing her nausea.
“I checked her first thing this morning too and they were holding steady after sleeping.”
“I’ve been, um, quite the pincushion,” Tara said as she raised her arm obligingly for her blood pressure to be checked and looked over to April, “Does that mean I get out of bed now?”
April smiled sympathetically.
“Not my call, I’m afraid. You’ll need to check in with your doctor.”
Willow left the tray on Tara’s lap and picked up the little notebook where April had marked in Tara’s readings.
“I’m going to call the doctor with these,” she said and made her way back downstairs.
April finished what she needed to do and told Tara she would see her later. Tara stared down at her oatmeal and idly stirred it with her spoon.
A few minutes later and when Tara had managed to get down half of her breakfast, Willow came skipping back in.
“Good news, Dr. Wells says if your numbers stay steady for the next 24 hours that you can come off bed rest,” she said with a smile for Tara, “
And JJ’s gone off to camp and Robyn is at daycare so you’ll be disruption-free and can sleep as much as you want.”
Tara brightened slightly at the thought of an end in sight, but it still felt like a long time.
“Are you going to work?”
Willow shook her head.
“Working from home again.”
She said it easily but Tara knew it was a pain in the ass because Willow couldn’t access a lot of classified files from home.
Tara glanced downward.
“I feel so guilty.”
Willow came over and sat on the edge of the bed opposite Tara.
“Nothing else is more important,” she said, covering Tara’s hand on the comforter with her own, “Hey, I’ve been sourcing recipes for the meal plan the doctor sent over. Mostly we can still all eat the same things. Have you thought about doing some more swimming when you’re able again?”
Tara shook her head slowly.
“I’m kind of worried about getting a kick in the stomach or slipping on the way in and out. I couldn’t even take Robyn to toddler swim last time.”
Willow’s brow furrowed.
“Oh baby, I didn’t know that. I’ll take her, that’s no problem.”
“I thought I might try yoga,” Tara mused quietly, “I’d have my own space, at least.”
“That’s a great idea,” Willow encouraged, then smiled sympathetically as Tara kept stirring her food, “You’re really fed up, aren’t you?”
Tara looked up guiltily.
“I’m just used to being able to be up and doing stuff.”
“It won’t be much longer,” Willow reassured and tried to provoke a smile, “Your numbers are looking as good as the rest of you.”
Tara blushed despite knowing she wasn’t much in the good looking department right now, or at least she felt that way. It worked, though, she also smiled.
Willow pushed herself back to the headboard and put her arm around Tara’s shoulder.
“I’ve got you. Never forget that, okay?”
Tara closed her eyes and rested her head on Willow’s shoulder. Everything felt so up in the air but she could always rely on Willow.
“I won’t.”