Poetry in Dog Years

[infinitelight]

My Little Stalker, eh? That has a nice ring to it. It sounds like something marketed by Mattel with its own range of accessories (comes (1) ready-dressed in bugly plaid pyjamas and with its hair in pigtails! (2) With its own highly-caffeinated beverage, suitable for those late nights waiting for new posts. Neuroses and computer sold separately).



(1) Heh. I said 'comes'.

(2) Why, yes, I am single! How did y'all guess?



And yay, more touching! That makes for more responses.



I had to read the first poem through a couple of times to fully follow who/what/where--perhaps I got distracted by the pretty, pretty words. This is just gorgeous:



into a small girl's arms

muscles, strong

still so thin

can't get over it



I love that visual image. And:



because

if you're not scared

then she can't be



is such a lovely, fitting conclusion to the poem. I like the way you've used 'strength' as a theme throughout--different kinds of strength is very much an accurate description of W/T, I think.



Whee, anuvver one (10/14)! Eeeek, angsty and kind of scary. I love the impact of the last line--simple and yet so fitting.

Hahahahaha. No.

[ExtraFlameyWT]

I've been behind in your poems, dear bulldog...forgive me. But they have been wonderful! This last one really hit me...the emotion is very raw and yet understandable. It's both simple and complex at the same time...



Oh no, I've started talking in circles...that isn't a good sign. Gotta go finish my history essay...*hugs*



Aimee

*****
"If it's good, they will stop making it."
-Herblock's Law

[Tara22]

wow bulldog... that was amazing, deffinitly a different muse there...



still I loved it

Quote:

---

chokes me

steals my air

thickening

tightening around the space that

is mine

---

greatly worded!

[mollyig]

I like the ambiguity about who the subject could be. Initally I thought it was Tara because of the arms wrapped around drawn-up knees, but then I realised it could be Willow too.



The image at the start and end of the poem of the arm wrapping, that was powerful. Like the grief is unending.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Drakkenfyre]

Well my dear bulldog, sorry to be so late in giving you feedback. I am a bad dragon.



This poem moved me. Made me think. Made me remember some bad times. What it felt like to awaken to fear, pain, grief...the unknown. I won't thank you for reminding me of how that felt. I will thank you for having the incredible ability to write the emotions. It is a wonderful gift to have.

Psst...also reminded me of my dark and broody days. .

*Let me help you up, okay....Oh, you are so soft and plump.*



The Lady Dragon

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

Edited by: Drakkenfyre at: 10/16/02 5:09:10 am

[bulldog tidnab]

Thought I'd do some feedback and then add another poem to the pile.



Jean - Good to know someone other than me thinks I'm funny. Yes, the poem was darker and it really was all about fear when it was written. And really I'm not that quick... though I have been told I am "fast". Oh dear, TMI.



Tina - Thank you. That means so much. I always hope when I post that someone will be able to relate. Glad it is working.



My Little Stalker (patent pending) - okay, that was too much. neuroses sold seperately, eh? We'll have to work on that. Thanks for thinking my words were so pretty. Sorry they seemed to distract you.Yes, I like to use strength as a theme since I find that it is one of the most important qualities in the world. Yet, I always seem to find that I am lacking in it.

The new one was kinda scary huh? seems to be the common consensus around here. Well, at least I know it was effective



Aimee - No worries. Read when you can. The thead will be here. Glad you like what you find when you do stop in. Now, if you have homework and are reading this instead... Go do your homework!!! *hugs*



Tara22 - Thank you dear. The wording was actually a little tricky. I find I don't always quite know how to put things.



mollyig - Wow, you thought powerful huh? Cool. And that was the intention. to describe something that never ends and always torments.



Laura - I'm glad it made you think. I am, however, not glad that it made you remember bad things. However, on the smae level that you will not thank me for it, I will not apologize for the effect of the poem. Kinda the whole point and all that.

"Well, I've always had alien tendencies. This just feels right to me."



that done... here's something new.





you liked me with my hat on

you liked me with my hair up

my shoes dirty

and my mouth closed

i can't say i understand it

i can't say it matters now

cause you are here beside me

it's all that really matters in the world



you came in with your eyes bright

you came in with your reservations

your mind racing

and your mouth dry

i can't say i wasn't scared as you

i can't say that i should not have waited

longer but i'd never felt

an urging that was stronger



it's all so clear to me now

in hindsight

i think i could've seen it all

if only i'd been looking

i seemed to be so powerful

in hindsight

i think i should've known it

but i couldn't let me notice



you loved me with my shirt on

you loved me with my guard up

my eyes loaded

and my voice sure

i can't say i blame you for it

i can't say that i was trying

very hard to make you see

how much you mattered in my world



you left me with your hat on

you left me with your shirt on

my hands empty

and my eyes sore

you can't say when you'll be back to me

you can't say it will be soon but

it doesn't really matter because

your lips opened up and gave me life





*woof*

I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

[barnabasvamp]

WONDERFUL

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

[bulldog tidnab]

Gosh but that was a hyperactive post there Jean. Little worked up there dear? Glad you liked it.



*woof*

I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

Edited by: bulldog tidnab at: 10/16/02 11:01:44 am

[ExtraFlameyWT]

*runs into the thread and skids to a halt* HI, BULLDOG!! Great poem! Hehe, umm..of course I'm not reading when I still have homework...not me. Nope...never.



Can't wait for more!



Love,

Aimee

*****
"If it's good, they will stop making it."
-Herblock's Law

[tiredsoul]

Just wanted to drop in and tell you how much I've enjoyed reading through your poetry. From sweet to dark to, erm, risque ... all good



Thanks for sharing.



--celia

[bulldog tidnab]

Glad you liked it Aimee...

You had better have done your homework or you are in BIIIG trouble missy. don't make me hunt you down. I'll... I'll... wel, I probably won't do a damn thing, but it sounded good right?

So much for being a role model... I hated homework.. and to this day I think it was a complete waste of my time. Um... I mean, you should do it, it's good for you... builds character.. blah blah blah



*woof*

I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

[ExtraFlameyWT]

Ummm...hehe, of course i had my homework done.



Right, homework builds character...I believe that one.



Love,

Aimee



p.s. More poetry soon? Please?

[Tara22]

woah!! !!!

that was amazing bulldog!!



my favourite lines were:

Quote:

---

i think i could've seen it all

if only i'd been looking

---

such a good poem!!!

Tara: Every time I... even when I'm at my worst, you
always make me feel special. How
do you do that?





Willow: Magic

[bulldog tidnab]

tiredsoul - Thank you... I'm glad you seem to like them all. Is good to know.



Aimee - No really it does. And I have a new poem just in time for your request. Go me!



This is (obviously) new. Don't like it much. Feels a little rough to me... oh well.





it's strange to me

the only thing i have ever known

that was stronger than my heart

and your heart

is glass

think:

what

besides me

and you

can show me who i am?

what can mock me

what is so honest

what is so cruel?

think:

how is it i am kept from you now?

i see you as well as

or better than

i ever have

and i am not in hiding

though you seem to be

almost ducked behind the drapes

as you always were to them

my view is not distorted

as my love is not distorted

as your purpose is not distorted

think:

what can let me see you, and love you

but not love you?

my heart can and does

your heart can and does

like a window can

think:

the way i can see

the truth in me and you

the way i see myself

the way i can see

and still know, and love

the way i can speak

and give

and take warm tones

but i cannot hear your thoughts

i cannot touch

i cannot touch-

god

how i miss that small thing-

it's all just like glass.

the mirror that can't lie

the window that gives me some

but denies me most

it is your heart- it's just glass

you give me some part

lovely as before

yet deny me all the good

the warmth

the touch

the reaching of hands.

my lips on the window

knowing i could shatter it

and sure i cannot do it

for it isn't right or noble

i let you go your way

my lips on the window

whispering the sweet things you loved

mouthing the hard words

i've learned since then

my fingertips writing your name

my palms calling you to me

so still for one so restless

i can see you

all you are

all your beauty

you let me

let me look

let me remember

torture from the glass

your heart

that keeps you out of reach





*woof*

I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

[ExtraFlameyWT]

Quote:

---

my fingertips writing your name

my palms calling you to me

so still for one so restless

---

I loved those lines...the poem is wonderful. Great job..and go you for having a poem!



Love,

Aimee

[bulldog tidnab]

Tara22 - oh you are sneaky! You got in while i was posting a new one. Glad youliked it. I find that hindsight is kind of a blessing and a curse at the same time... had to write about it.



Aimee - You are quick girl! Geez... Those are actually my favorite lines too... I'm having a bit of a hand thing as of late.

I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

[barnabasvamp]

Just WOW.

I am so glad you explored the hand thing, you know what it does to me.

Quote:

---

the warmth

the touch

the reaching of hands.

---

Gives me shivers my dear.

Jean

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

[ExtraFlameyWT]

Go me! *does a little dance* I picked out your favorite lines! *raises an eyebrow* A *cough* hand thing?







Love,

Aimee

*****
"If it's good, they will stop making it."
-Herblock's Law

[mollyig]

All the questions, the almost riddles - what can let me see you, and love you

but not love you?



I thought it was a great way to convey trying to comprehend what went wrong.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Drakkenfyre]

Okay Andi, I give up. You win. *raises white flag* The Lady Dragon surrenders the poetry war. This was an amazing poem. So many questions, so many feelings...I don't even know where to begin.



i can see you

all you are

all your beauty

you let me

let me look

let me remember



These were the lines that struck me. I could feel them. Feel the emotion that rolled from them. Thank you for this poem. You really are quite amazing. *bows to you*



*His breakfast cereal told him to sit on the roof*



The Lady Dragon

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

[bulldog tidnab]

Jean - So I take it you liked it then eh? I have something I am working on that delves into the hands a bit more. Perhaps you will enjoy it just as much. Shivers huh? Hee.



Aimee - Yes a hand thing. I have a thing with hands and not just in the blatantly obvious way. I tend to find them rather... inspiring. Yeah... that's it.



Marion - I'm glad you liked the use of questions/riddles. It was kind of a pain to write, as I kept confusing myself.



Laura - NO!!! There can be no concession in this war! I will not accept. The flag is ignored and your castle is still under siege your highness. *smirk* I may just be a lowly squire, but I still got ammo. I will not accept giving up from my favorite poet. No. Almost everything I have learned of creating waves of emotion (which you seemed to enjoy. Thank you. ) in my writing has been from reading yours. Remember, I can't write unless you do? I am unequivocally inspired by you.

Don't make me take this war back outside. I am still quite sore from our last battle and I don't think the grass stains are going to come out of my jeans.



"Man, talk about your whole grain and nuts!"





I will likely post something new in the very near future... unless I get sidetraced by my grass stains.



*woof*

I will go put some clothes on, ok.




Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

[Drakkenfyre]

So, dear Bulldog, my white flag has been ignored and my castle is still under seige!!! Well fine. Bring it ON!!! If you want to take this war back outside then fine. I am more than willing to do so. However, can we wait a bit? I, too, am still a little sore from that last match. You only got grass stains? How the hell did I end up with mud stains? Oh yes, flower bed!!



Well, considering I have no ammo at the moment, I guess I had better fire up my pen and start writing.



THE JIHAD IS STILL ON!!!!!!!!



*We are cosmic intelligence fish...Would you like some tea?*



The Lady Dragon



Edited to add: Dear Lord and Sweet Cheez-It's!! I'm GAY NOW!! Does this mean I have to give up my closet? Wait a minute, I don't even have a closet. tee hee

I am the dragon that hides from the sun and flies in the moonlight.

Edited by: Drakkenfyre at: 10/19/02 9:32:30 am

[ExtraFlameyWT]

Hehe, well...hands are inspiring...



Can't wait for another poem!



Love,

Aimee (who doesn't giggle like a cheerleader)

*****
"I'm not going to throw up or over exercise myself into oblivion to look like a model. People tell me all the time, 'You'd work all the time if you just lost 20 pounds.' What am I going to do, cut off my head?"-Amber Benson

[Tara22]

hehe... I snuck in did I? well, I hope I can safely say that this post won't be as sneaky



as ussual I love it bulldog! love the thing about glass! great idea!

Quote:

---

the only thing i have ever known

that was stronger than my heart

and your heart

is glass

---

Quote:

---

i see you as well as

or better than

i ever have

---

loved these lines!!!!

actually loved all of em but these were my favourites!



go you!!

Tara: Every time I... even when I'm at my worst, you
always make me feel special. How
do you do that?





Willow: Magic

[pacou]

I know I havent been around for a while but I caught up with all your lovely poems and I definitely enjoyed every single poem



Loved the "Honey can I make you come" Very risque as you said



And the last one, that was just... it drives you to despair, because its so beautiful written and so sad all at once.



But basically I loved all your poems so far, mostly after having read them twice



-Viv-

Well, we can answer questions.
Tara - Checkpoint

Dont dream it, be it.
Rocky Horror Picture Show

[barnabasvamp]

Yipiee

The JIHAD continues

Lady Dragon- a mud wrestling kinda gal? Your g/f is very lucky *runs off to check LD's thread for more*Congrats on being Gay Now!



BD; I am surely waiting for the more "indepth" exploration of hands and fingers

"Shivers", you ask? Oh my god yes bring it on sweetie

Jean

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

[ninjitsugrrl]

Bulldog - What a wonderful poem! It creates such a sense of longing, loss, and desperation. I love the lines, "my lips on the window/ whispering the sweet things you loved/ mouthing the hard words/ i've learned since then".

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." - Lucy in "Peanuts" by Charles Schultz


My Homepage

[bulldog tidnab]

No replies and most certainly not a new poem. RL and I are engaged in an arm wrestling match of sorts right now. so, it may well be a bit before I post anything new.

Hopefully, RL and weather permitting, I can at least do replies to your feedback soon.

Thanks.

A.

I will go put some clothes on, ok.







Oh sweet Cheez-Its yes!

[Tara22]

Go Bulldog!! you get that bugger!!!

Tara: Every time I... even when I'm at my worst, you

always make me feel special. How

do you do that?



Willow: Magic

Edited by: Tara22  at: 10/26/02 4:54:14 pm

[funkyasian]

hey andi...glad to see you logged in...drop me a line sometime will ya?! no worries about the poem, we'll be patient...



steph

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde