Zampsa1975- Tara-snuggles are definitely of the good.
Laragh- Best pillow in the world. More coming!
Taralover- Incredibly.
arsyadriani- Fun, no? More here.
LittleBit- Combine traditional with Willowness.
abarda- I'm glad you like it!
taranwillow4ever- Really good way to wake up, yeah. I'm glad you think so.
Morrigan- It's Willow-brain. Can't be all normal.
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Author: Ambergoddess
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, Joss Whedon rules all. ME, UPN, blah blah blah
Feedback: Oh please! The more the merrier.
Rating: R! Finally.
Summary: AU fic, no monsters, Hellmouth, or magic. Willow's a sophomore, Tara's a junior. Willow is alone and very depressed. Tara has to help.
Spoilers: None
Distribution: Fine, but tell me first, okay?
Notes: This is my first fic, and I don't have a beta, so bear with me. I love criticism, helps me write. Anything else, message me please.
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Part Fourteen I swept open the door, bowing low. "My lady, your dinner awaits."
Tara giggled. "Why thank you, kind sir."
"Kind sir?
Kind sir? Why am I the butch one?" Whiny, yeah, but hey- I'm not butchy. Much.
"Well, you are wearing the pants here." Damn, she was right. "Although I gotta say Willow, I like you in leather." Blushing, I shoved her playfully. Leather pants may look good on me, but it was very far from comfortable. All tight and squeaky and altogether not me, which is exactly why I was wearing them, of course. Remaking me into what I could have been. This was a bit extreme, I had to admit, but I kinda liked the bad-ass feeling. The look I got from Tara when she saw it? That was cool too.
Looking around the restaurant, I thought I'd made a good choice. It wasn't expensive, but it had a vibe to it that spoke of classiness. Also, it wasn't a typical Mexican restaurant. There wasn't any cheesy mariache music playing, and no obnoxious toddlers screaming and running everywhere. It was quiet, and cozy, with tables in the center of the room and booths lining the walls. I liked it, and judging from the look on Tara's face, she did too.
The hostess approached with the stereotypical fake smile, leading us to a booth in the back when I gave my name.
Nice and private, my subconscious exclaimed. "Okay, so leather, check. Now the real question: do you like spicy food?" I probably should have thought of that before, especially since I planned for anything and everything else. You know, snow, muggers, attacking frogs- everyday things that can go wrong.
Her smile dispelled any doubts I might have had. "Love it. I didn’t get it much at home. Pretty small town, you know?" It was a relief and an amazement to me that she was able to speak of home without any doubts or bitterness. It reinforced my belief of her as a truly kind person, as well as one who wouldn't hold a grudge. Sunnydale would be a sore spot for me to even think about for a long while yet.
Focusing on the blonde-haired, blue-eyed goddess sitting across from me, I shoved my thoughts away. "I'm glad. The food's New Mexican, so-" her sudden squeal made me jump.
"Ooooh! I love New Mexican! You, dear Sir Willow, have good taste." Conversation flowed freely from there. Our main topic of discussion was school tomorrow. I admit, I bragged a little, but I was then shamed into silence with her own academic accomplishments.
"Okay, so on top of being an honor student for like ever, you painted? For money? That makes me feel… well, still smart, but less over-the-top know-it-all." She was blushing a light pink that was both incredibly cute and unbelievably sexy.
We were interrupted with the arrival of our food. Quesadilla for me, posole* for her. We took one look at the other's dish and shoved them both to the center of the table. When the time came for dessert, I called for the check instead. "What? No dessert?" Oh that pout was good.
"No, baby, I have other plans for dessert." She pouted more. My voice went up an octave or two. "Nope. Pout won't work on me. No way. Uh-uh." My god that lip looked edible, all stuck out and gently glistening and I just wanted to- "
CHECK!"
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Strolling along in a park I'd found on my laptop, our heads were tilted back as we gazed at the stars. We held hands, just reveling in the peaceful quiet surrounding us. "Look- Orion, and Andromeda. My favorites." I pointed with my free hand, tracing their invisible lines.
"There's the big Pineapple." Her own hand rose, pointing to the heavens.
"Um, you know, I'm not sure I remember that one." Somehow it didn't surprise me that this wonderful girl held surprises even for the stars.
"The- the real ones never made sense to me." She smiled sheepishly, and looked away. Grinning, I rested my head on her shoulder.
"Teach me?"
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We'd walked almost the entire length of the park, and as we drew close to the edge, I veered off into a sideways path. Motioning for Tara to follow, I ducked into a little glade I'd found earlier. A picnic blanket and a basket rested on the grass. A single rose adorned the top. "I told you I had plans for dessert."
Her hands flew to cover her mouth. Tears sparkled at the corners of her eyes, frightening me. "Tara? If you don't like it we can go get ice cream or something. Whatever you want. There's gotta be a decent ice cream place in LA. God, I need a cell phone." I wrung my hands nervously.
"Oh, goddess, Willow. This is amazing! When did you do this?"
"When I kicked you out earlier. That's when I made all of the arrangements." She hugged me spontaneously. "Hey, we haven't even gotten to dessert yet." I sat down on the blanket, patting the space next to me for her to join me. She complied, sinking gracefully down into a cross-legged position. Yanking the lid of the cooler open, I produced chocolate, fruit, and chocolate-covered fruit. As well as chocolate in fruit shapes. Always best to be prepared!
"Willow, I'm not worth all this." Tara's voice was dead serious. I didn't like that, so I went for a joke to ease the mood.
"That's my line! Don't you be stealin' my lines!" She just looked at me, confused. She'd never heard my full story, just the abridged version. It must not have revealed the feelings behind my crazy stunts. From the look on her face, she wasn't going to let me off the hook without telling the full story.
I sighed. "Remember how I told you about me?" She nodded. "I did all that because I thought I was worthless, a waste of space. My parents ignored me, at school I was just there to do other people's work. I was the tragic nerd, no friends or even allies. After a while, I just went numb inside. Cutting made me feel alive, without the pain of living.
"The day it all went to hell? I think a new kid transferred in, a smart one. All of a sudden, my standing was gone. I wasn't worth a single thing. I ran out in the middle of class, ended up on Kingman's Bluff. Couldn't take the pain anymore. I jumped. Woke up in the hospital. Doctor said I'd been in a coma for five days. Realized there wasn't anything in town for me, wanted a fresh start. Took the next bus outta Sunnydale." My sentences had gotten briefer as I'd continued. It was probably a coping mechanism to deal with a pain that was still fresh.
Pulling up my pant leg, I gestured to the still-visible lacerations. "I got these in the jump. Fun, aren't they? You've already seen my arms." For the first time since starting my maudlin tale, I looked at Tara. She looked… positively horrified. I stood slowly. "I'll go now."
She threw out her hands, catching my hand. "Go? Go where? Why are you going somewhere?"
Obvious much? "You don't want to be around me. Suicidal cutter freak, remember?" My head dropped, and my hands unconsciously traced the lines on my forearms.
"Yeah, and I'm the abused girl whose brother r-raped her. Why don't you walk away from me?" My head shot up.
"No! You're a good person. What happened to you doesn't change who you are. And who you are is an amazing, kind, beautiful person who I lo- like very much." She was not allowed to put herself down.
"Willow, don't you see? The same can be said for you. Even if you don't believe me, I'm not letting you go." I looked at her pensively. What if she was wrong? What if I hurt her, or myself? Maybe- no. it was her choice. I wasn't leaving until she told me to.
"It's funny." I mused as I sat back down.
"What?" She pulled me down, resting my head in her lap, long fingers stroking my hair.
"All this time I've been with you? I've never wanted to cut once. You make me special. Worth something. And that's the greatest thing in the world."
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*posole- New Mexican stew with beans, chicken, green chilies. Served with may tortillas
by Morrigan » Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:07 pm 
at Willow using Tara's boobs as a pillow. Awesome pillow.
