********
TITLE: College Confidential
AUTHOR: Laragh
CHAPTER RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: Willow, Tara and any other characters from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, ME and a whole host of other entities, none of which are me.
SUMMARY: The first part of the prequel to Hacker Confidential and Family Confidential - the college years!
SPOILERS: Perhaps minor references to the show or stealage of dialogue, but nothing that would spoil the series.
FEEDBACK: Yes please
Chapter 6
********
“You're smiling again.”
Willow just smiled wider, practically skipping along the path to their dorm building.
“I must have a super-duper Tara smile because you only say that when I'm thinking about you!”
“You were thinking about me?” Tara asked coyly.
“I was thinking that the last time I was on campus I was single and pining for my pretty new friend,” Willow replied, swinging their hands between them, “Now I’m all girlfriend-y. Holding hands and smooching and all of those nice things.”
“Very nice things,” Tara agreed, taking a glance down at their conjoined hands with a smile, “I'm looking forward to that pizza. I'm getting kind of hungry.”
“I'll call right now,” Willow replied, taking her cell phone from her pocket, “Then we won't have to wait long by the time we get to your dorm. Pepperoni still okay?”
Tara nodded, so Willow found the number and called to place their order.
“They said twenty minutes,” she said as she hung up and pocketed her phone again, “Actually these guys are cheaper too and the pizza's just as good. And they give you free ranch! Pfft, no idea why we kept going back to that other place.”
She shook her head for a moment before smiling up at Tara.
“Anyway. Don't need to think about that. You sure you don't mind going to your dorm? You're welcome in mine, of course, but Becky might be there and I'd like to just be with you.”
“No, I don't mind at all,” Tara replied, smiling back when Willow held the door to their building open for her, “Thanks. You're sweet.”
“Your sweetie,” Willow corrected playfully, “I'm your sweetie. Hey, was it okay when I called you baby earlier? It just slipped out, but I liked it.”
Tara smiled warmly as they walked down the hallway.
“I liked it too. It made me feel special.”
“You are special,” Willow replied shyly but genuinely, “Really…so special.”
“You’re sw–” Tara started to respond again before smiling, “You’re my sweetie.”
They arrived at her door and she fished around for her key for a moment before finding and opening the door. She walked in and held the door open for Willow, then closed it and went to her desk to flip the switch for the string of lights over it, then to her nightstand to turn the lamp to give them enough light.
“Hey, I love your room!” Willow suddenly announced as she really took in the simply decorated room – rich, red satin sheets on the bed; a bookcase filled with books, almost all of them textbooks for classes; a dresser; a wardrobe with a small poster of a kitten on it and a desk, opened books and scattered pens sprawled on it, “I love those lights!”
Tara walked back over, smiling shyly.
“You've been in my room before. You came down during the week, remember? To tell me you'd been busy.”
Willow looked guiltily and sank down onto the edge of the bed.
“Can I be honest with you?” she asked, then rolled her eyes to herself, “I never understand why people ask that. Like 'no, please lie to me'.”
Tara sat on the bed too, but gave Willow some space.
“You can be honest.”
Willow let out a soft sigh before speaking.
“I was avoiding you. I had myself so convinced you just wanted to be friends...and that hurt.”
“I understand,” Tara replied gently, then added on shyly, “The hurt, I mean. I cried a little bit.”
Willow face fell.
“Oh Tara, I didn't want to make you cry!”
“No, no,” Tara shook her head quickly, “I didn't mean that. I just meant...I understand. It's okay. ”
Willow gave a little nod, but her gaze stayed down.
“That probably doesn't sound too good to you. I had a problem and my solution was to ignore it.”
Tara shuffled over to put a hand on Willow's back.
“Don't beat yourself up. It was very confusing. I didn't know what the heck to do either. I could have tried to find you more too.”
Willow considered that a moment and decided it fair, making her feel better.
“All worked out, right?” she said, her tone eased and heart lifted when Tara smiled, “So, yeah. I really love your room. It's...warm. And lovely. ”
“Do you mind incense?” Tara asked, happy to see Willow brighter, “I burn some sometimes, but if you don't like it, I won't. I want my room to be Willow-friendly.”
Willow nodded keenly.
“Uh huh, I love incense. It makes Becky's allergies go wack-o but I used to burn some when I lived at home, at least when my Mom wasn't there. She thought I was turning into an occultist or something.”
Tara's crooked smile came out to play.
“Well if you promise it won't lead to a ritual sacrifice, I-I have some sandalwood, or um, vanilla blossom I think.”
Willow started to giggle.
“You're so funny,” she said, pulling her knees onto the bed and resting her chin on them, “I like vanilla, but sandalwood's good too. You choose.”
Tara went over to the window and lit a couple of the vanilla blossom incense sticks sitting on the window sill. She made sure the smoke was blowing upwards, then went to her desk to empty her pockets. Following her wallet and keys, was the purchase she'd made before meeting up with Willow, forgotten in the day's events until right then.
She hid it behind her hands and walked back towards Willow.
“I-I got you something.”
“Me?” Willow asked in surprise, “You shouldn't be spending your money on me.”
“It's just something little,” Tara replied quickly, turning her hand around with a metal chain with a solid, dark green, cylindrical pendant hanging off of it to show her, “I got it just to say thanks for being my friend, but I guess now I can give it to you to say...I’m really, really happy we’re girlfriends.”
Willow reached her palm out to hold the pendant against it.
“Tara, this is beautiful.”
Tara smiled shyly.
“I saw it and it reminded me of your eyes.”
Willow felt her heart swell and looked up into Tara's eyes. Her hand lifted to brush against the delicate skin of Tara's cheeks for a moment before she leaned over to press their lips together lightly.
The kisses they'd shared already had been sweet, soft, longing, intense; Willow could think of a variety of ways to describe how wonderful they were. But alone, in the shadowy light, silent apart from their gentle inhalations, the only word Willow thought was 'intimate'.
After a minute or two she pulled away, accidentally bumping their noses together. She smiled with quiet joy and lifted Tara's hand with the necklace still in it.
“Will you put it on me?”
“You like it?” Tara asked hopefully.
Willow pecked her again.
“I love it. Thank you.”
She turned and tilted her neck down, then felt the metal of the chain against her skin. The weight of the pendant hung down from her as Tara clasped the necklace around the back of her neck and straightened up again, looking down in admiration.
“No one's ever given me jewellery before.”
“I wish it was more,” Tara replied, toying with her hands.
“I don't,” Willow answered, feeling the smooth jewel of the pendant, “It's perfect.”
Tara looked down and smiled to herself, happy her gift went over well. Willow played with the necklace for another few moments, feeling pretty to be adorned with it, until her phone starting vibrating in her pocket. She took in out and answered, then nodded.
“Okay, I'll be right out.”
Tara guessed it was the delivery guy with their pizza and picked up her wallet, offering Willow the lone $20 bill in there.
“Willow, I can pay for this one, you paid for the first one.”
“Uh, and I was the reason it ended up on the floor. No way, no how,” Willow shook her head, then offered a smile, “'Kay?”
Tara didn't want to cause a disagreement so nodded and put the money back in her wallet. Willow skipped out to collect the pizza and returned after just a minute, bringing the pizza box over to the bed.
“Hey, I meant it about the money thing and cheap dates,” she said in a casual tone as she flipped the lid, “I never want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
Tara nodded shyly but with a smile.
“Thanks.”
Willow just smiled back, then rubbed her hands together in anticipation of the steaming pizza.
“You got those peaches?”
“Oh, sure,” Tara replied, going over to the small mini-fridge in the corner of the room.
Fruit, bottled water and the odd juice box were the only things she kept in there, taken from the cafeteria at mealtimes. A ripened peach sat at the bottom, as Tara thought it would, so she grabbed it and handed it over.
“Do you have a knife?” Willow asked, taking the peach and holding it in both hands.
“Um...” Tara replied uncertainly, going over to rummage in her nightstand drawer, “I have a plastic one?”
Willow nodded.
“Uh huh, that'll work!”
Tara handed her the white, plastic knife.
“Do your magic.”
Willow sliced the peach in half-inch think pieces and scattered them around the pizza before closing the box again.
“We have to let the steam from the box cook them.”
“Oh, okay,” Tara replied, sitting near her on the bed, “How long does that take?”
Willow gave a slow shrug, then looked up with a hopeful smile.
“Long enough for me to steal a kiss?”
Tara's cheeks flushed and she smiled, giving a shy nod. Willow scooted over so they were next to each other again and took one of Tara's hands, cradling it between both of hers in her lap.
“You've got really nice hands,” she said, drawing slow circles in Tara's palm, “Really, you could be a hand model. Do you lotion?”
Tara nodded and picked up a small white bottle on her nightstand, offering it.
“You can have some if you want.”
“Thanks!” Willow replied, eagerly squirting some into her palms, “This is nice! I always mean to lotion but then I forget. I'm a great brusher though, three times a day!”
Willow had no idea why she had felt the need to announce her hygiene routine and shuffled awkwardly for a moment before clasping Tara's hand.
“Um, so can I kiss you now?”
Tara nodded again.
“You don't have to ask.”
Willow shrugged one shoulder.
“Well, it's polite to ask. Can't just come up kissing you whenever I want.”
Tara smiled bashfully.
“Yes you can.”
“Oh,” Willow replied, not even trying to hide her ear-to-ear grin, “Well then maybe I will. Starting right now.”
She leaned over and took Tara's lips, kissing her gently. She let her hands rest on Tara's shoulders and her thumbs brush over the skin close to her neck until she felt a giggle rise in her throat and had to pull away to let it out.
“I'm glad I didn't know kissing you felt this good, I would have been even more upset not being able to!” she said, pecking her again before grabbing the pizza box, “This should be ready, I'm starving! I left some of it peach-less in case you don't like it.”
She popped the lid and poked a peach to make sure it was warmed, then gestured for Tara to take the first slice. Tara took the slice Willow had poked at and eyed the bit of peach warily for a moment before taking the bite.
Willow watched intently, trying to figure if Tara enjoyed her concoction, but couldn't tell at all until she swallowed and smiled.
“That's really good.”
“I told you!” Willow replied, delighted Tara enjoyed it.
“You did, I'm a convert,” Tara responded, taking another bite.
Willow moved up and sat against the wall, taking her own slice and sighing contentedly as it filled her belly.
They talked and laughed until they'd each had their fill, and Willow found an errant yawn escaping her mouth.
“Sorry,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand, “I always get sleepy after I eat.”
Tara glanced over at her alarm clock.
“I guess it's pretty late.”
Willow looked down reluctantly.
“I should probably leave. Let you go to sleep.”
“You don't have to leave,” Tara replied, a little too quickly, before ducking her head, “But you're sleepy too.”
Willow perched at the end of the bed.
“I don't wanna leave.”
Tara looked back up, clearly shy again.
“Y-You can stay, if you want.”
“Stay?” Willow asked, trying not to sound too eager, “The night?”
Tara nodded, then blushed bright red.
“N-not to, not for-I mean, it's a long walk...upstairs.”
She trailed off lamely but Willow jumped on the excuse to spend the night.
“The lights could be off, I could trip and fall.”
Tara's whole face lit up.
“Right, exactly! I have some spare pyjamas...they'd be kinda big on you.”
“That's okay, I like comfy,” Willow replied, letting her keenness show.
Tara stood and slid her hands in her pockets so as not to show their excited shaking at the thought of sleeping next to Willow, then went to her dresser to find some nightclothes. She took out a pair of sweats that she knew were a little tight on her, and a tank top that had shrunk in the wash and offered them to Willow.
“Thanks,” Willow said, feeling giddy at being able to share clothes and sleeping quarters with Tara, “I'll just get changed over here.”
She went over to the corner and turned around, quickly stepping out of her clothes and pulling on the ones Tara had given her. The top fit her perfectly and the sweats were just a little baggy, easily rectified when she turned the waistband down to make them more snug.
Without thinking, she spun back around, but was caught motionless when she realised Tara was still in the process of getting changed - her bottoms were on but she was just pulling the top over her head.
Oh my god I can see her boobs. Well, one. Oh what a boob. The side of her boob, but still her boob. That is one very round, soft-looking – oh my god what am I doing, turn back around, turn back around!
She quickly turned again, feeling awful for invading Tara's privacy and chastised herself until she felt a hand tap her shoulder. She jumped right back.
“Sorry,” Tara said, idly playing with her hands, “I, um...just wanted to say I have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom.”
Willow crossed her arms over her chest and nodded quickly, trying not to think about what she'd seen.
“You can keep extra stuff in your bathrooms down here? If you tried to do that upstairs people would just steal it. Oh the difference a floor makes.”
Tara smiled and shook her head, walking over the other side of the room where there was a door that Willow hadn't noticed before.
“Single rooms have their own bathrooms?!” Willow asked as she joined Tara and looked into the en-suite bathroom, “No fair! I have to share with like 20 other girls! It’s impossible to get a free shower unless you go while it’s still dark outside!”
Tara's nose scrunched at the thought of having to share shower space and realised how lucky she was to have her own private facilities.
“It's just these rooms that have them. This is the newest building on campus. Built pretty much entirely because of a tantrum.”
Willow turned to her, an intrigued look on her face, so Tara continued.
“Well, six years ago, some heiress to a Fortune 500 company started going here, her father was an alumni and a huge funder apparently. She was all set to be a party girl, but wasn’t impressed when she found out that involved sharing, and didn't want to live off-campus. The story goes that she flat out refused to come here until there was a way she could live on the dorms and by herself,” Tara told the story as it was told to her, then gestured around, “Voilà . The building was up in less than two months and now they give out the rooms to scholarship students. Daddy’s little girl, huh?”
Willow smiled softly, more at the storytelling than the actual story.
“How do you know all that?”
Tara shrugged one shoulder.
“I’ve done a bit of admin work for the college.”
Willow nodded, not prying and peered back into the bathroom.
“I’m super jealous.”
“Well you can use mine whenever you like,” Tara replied before blushing when images of a wet, naked Willow sprang to her mind, “Um, you can go first. The spare toothbrush is the red one.”
“Thanks,” Willow smiled as she walked into the tiled room and shut the door, looking around.
Private shower, private toilet...single rooms rock. Why did I ever say I wanted a roommate on that application form? Wouldn’t have met Becky though, so I guess that’s of the good. Still, I could get used to hanging out in here...well, not in the bathroom, really. Why would we be hanging out in the bathroom together? Unless we were in the shower together...whoa, girl, slow it down there, Willow. Slow it right down.
She splashed her cheeks with some water to calm them down, then spotted a red toothbrush still in the plastic wrapping. She freed it and spread some toothpaste on the bristles, then began to brush as she contemplated her reflection in the mirror.
That is the face of a girl who has a girlfriend. A beautiful, kind, smart, wonderful girlfriend. Woke up this morning, got a mocha and finished my term paper...now I have a girlfriend. That I smooched...a lot. Smooched in the Gardens, smooched in the movies, smooched on the street, smooched in her room...now I get to spend the night with her...I wonder if she'll want to cuddle? Would she have asked me to sleep over if she didn't? I hope she does, but I'll deal if she doesn't...hey, maybe she's expecting me to sleep on the floor...that's okay, too! Still near her! I better ask.
She spit and rinsed, leaving the toothbrush back in the holder, then washed her hands again and walked out. Tara started to walk past to get in, but Willow caught her wrist.
“Tara?”
“Yeah?” Tara asked, smiling softly.
Willow gestured downwards.
“Do you have an extra blanket for the floor?”
“The floor?” Tara replied shyly, “T-the bed's big enough for both of us.”
Willow beamed.
“Okay, if you're sure!” she replied, already bouncing towards the bed.
She took a detour to fold the clothes she dropped on the floor and took her cell phone from her pants pocket. She left it on the nightstand as she was accustomed to doing in her own room, then lifted the sheet and slid into the bed on the left side, but didn't get comfortable until Tara came back out.
“I wasn’t sure if you had a side,” she said as Tara made her way over, “I can move if you want.”
“I normally take the right, so you can stay right there,” Tara replied, then a little nervously got in beside her.
Neither of them made an effort to move until Willow piped up a few seconds later.
“So I normally lie down.”
“Right,” Tara blushed, “Me too.”
They both lay down with their backs ramrod-straight and almost a foot between them. There was more silence until Willow once again spoke up.
“I’d be open to cuddling...if you wanted. Only if you wanted.”
A slow, nervous smile fell on Tara's face.
“Okay.”
She shuffled over onto her side and watched as Willow did too, but there wasn't any movement after that.
“Um, how do we...?” Tara questioned, unsure how to proceed.
“We have options,” Willow replied helpfully, “I mean, there’s spooning, in which we’d have to decide on who was the big and who was the little spoon, or one of us can lie on our sides and hold the other, or the sides but with lying on instead of holding, or just generally facing each other or...any variant, really. I think the only requirement is closeness.”
Tara thought over those options, all of which sounded great.
“You choose.”
“Okay,” Willow nodded, happy to take the lead since she sort of had already, “Well then I'll just...”
She stayed on her side and shuffled over, getting close enough that their legs and hips were touching and put her arm over Tara's waist.
“Is this okay?”
Willow's face was close enough that Tara could feel her breath on her lips as she spoke, but she managed to nod and put her hand on the small of Willow's back.
“I-is this?”
Willow nodded too and brushed their lips together lightly, but Tara ducked her head, separating them.
“Willow...you, you know I’ve never been with anyone, right? I-intimately?”
Willow pulled her hands away and held them, shuffling back a few inches.
“I know, I know, I wasn't trying anything, seriously,” she protested, taking a breath, “I mean, I haven't either. And there is no pressure, absolutely, positively no pressure. I'll sleep on the floor, really, or I can leave if I've made you uncomfortable.”
“No, you haven't,” Tara replied quickly, then smiled shyly again, “I'd prefer if you stayed. I definitely like cuddling.”
Willow breathed a sigh of relief and shuffled in closer again.
“Oh, good. Me too. It's like a hug but all nice and lie-down-y. Plus I can do this.”
She wiggled their toes together and Tara giggled. Willow loved hearing that sound, especially when she was the one who caused it, and brought their faces close together again.
“I'm gonna steal another one of those kisses.”
Tara didn't pull away this time and melted into Willow kissing her. She wondered if the tingling sensation would ever go away.
I hope not.
Willow lifted her hand first up to Tara's arm, then continued further up, loving the point-of-contact heat she felt as she did so.
“Tara?” she breathed after a few minutes, brushing her fingers against Tara's cheek, “Can I kiss your neck? It's totally fine if that's not okay.”
“My neck?” Tara questioned with a soft gulp, liking that prospect, “Okay.”
Willow pressed feather-light kisses along Tara's jaw, then over her ear and into her neck. Tara's skin was so soft and buttery against her lips; she could quickly see herself becoming addicted.
Tara figured Willow kissing her neck was by far the most pleasurable sensation she'd ever experienced and was very glad she'd agreed to it. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sparking feeling in her belly, until she felt Willow's lips lift away.
“Oh, Tara, I'm sorry. I think I left a mark.”
Tara tried to look down to her neck.
“A m-mark? Like a hickey?”
“Yeah, I guess they call them that,” Willow replied sheepishly, “I'm sorry.”
“It's okay,” Tara reassured, then blushed, “I liked it.”
Willow looked relieved, but set her gaze on Tara's lips.
“Maybe I'll stick to these kisses anyway.”
She covered Tara's lips again, smiling when she felt the ends of her hair being played with. She let herself get lost in it this time until a shrill ring made them both jump up in fright. Willow made a grab from her cell and read the name on the screen before answering.
“Not coming back tonight. Perfectly safe. Don't worry.”
She hung up without waiting for a response, annoyed at being interrupted.
“Was that your roommate?” Tara asked, her heart still pounding a little from the surprise.
“Yeah,” Willow nodded, “Sorry.”
Tara looked down coyly.
“Does she know about me?”
“Oh yeah, I've been gushing since we met,” Willow replied with a smile, “I could introduce you guys if you wanted.”
“Really?” Tara asked, pleased
“Yeah! Then I can really say to someone 'this is my girlfriend!’,” Willow said excitedly, before adding on, “Plus, I want you to meet her. I don't want you hidden from any part of my life.”
Tara smiled.
“Okay. I'd like to meet her.”
“Great!” Willow replied, before covering her mouth when she yawned again, “Sorry.”
Tara put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.
“That's okay. I'm about ready to fall asleep too.”
“With cuddles?” Willow asked hopefully and Tara nodded.
Willow lay back down on her side like she had before and put her arm over Tara's waist again.
“Thanks for today, Tara. I'm so happy. I couldn't have asked for a better date. Both the activities and person. 'Night.”
Tara settled cheek on Willow's shoulder and had a moment of realisation that she'd been uncomfortable falling asleep every night for the past twenty years and finally wasn't.
“Goodnight, Willow. I couldn't have asked for a better everything.”
Mmmm. Tara-boob!
)
enough of that, Tara is Willow’s!
for drunk grabby hands Willow, I'm glad that Tara handled Willow before anything relationship damaging stuff happened...
! So true. I also go back to the ‘Edward is a vampire’ train of thought.