I'm just gonna jump right to the point and...
Here We Go!
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“Honestly, Anya, I’m getting to the end of my rope”, Tara said to the ex-demon as the two of them chatted over chai tea and coffee at the Espresso Pump. “I mean, I’m not a walking thesaurus, there are only so many ways to say, ‘Don’t worry, Honey, everything will be fine’.”
“I must admit even I have been stunned by Willow’s overwhelming insecurity with being pregnant”, Anya replied, “She’s even worse than I was, and I was a complete mess.” She thoughtfully sipped at her amaretto-flavored caffeine. “I don’t know how you’ve made it this far without giving her a swift kick in the pants.”
“Will’s always needed a lot of reassurance in everything”, Tara explained, “Truthfully it’s part of why I love her so, her need for me is so tangible, and mine for her as well. But, I just… I don’t know…”
“If I were you I’d be concerned about her rejecting the baby”, Anya stated matter-of-factly.
“What?” asked Tara, unusually shocked by her friend’s typical candor.
“Oh it happens”, the former vengeance demon went on, “and not just in the wild. It’s rare but occasionally a human mother will reject her offspring.”
“Willow would never do that”, Tara replied, sipping her tea resolutely.
“Oh, I’m sure you’re right”, Anya agreed, “Especially with the way she’s embraced this pregnancy, she should be fine.”
“Anya, I’ve got enough on my mind as it is, I don’t need you relaying last week’s Sally Jesse Raphael.”
“I’m just trying to be honest with you”, she commented, trying to smooth her ruffled feathers. “Anyway, it wasn’t Sally, it was Geraldo.”
“I thought his talk show was canceled years ago”, Tara queried.
“This is a new one”, Anya illuminated. “Yesterday his guests where Tipper Gore and Puff Daddy.”
“What was the topic?” The wiccan was almost afraid of the answer.
“‘People with Hair’.” The ex-demon replied. “Talk shows have really gone down hill.”
“Yeah”, Tara agreed. They continued nursing their beverages for a moment. “You don’t really think Willow will reject the baby, do you?”
“No, of course not. She’ll be just fine”, Anya responded, tapping Tara on the hand. “Unless of course she isn’t.”
Tara let out a defeatist sigh.
*****
“I just don’t understand why we have to decide this now”, Willow complained. She and Buffy were seated at the island inside the Summers’ home kitchen. The sounds of Emily and Joseph playing in the backyard filtered into the house.
“You’re absolutely right, Will”, the slayer agreed, “You shouldn’t have to decide this now.”
“Thank you”, the hacker replied.
“You should have already decided three weeks ago before you were half-way into your seventh month”, Buffy finished.
“But—“
“Face it, Will… the baby is gonna come out”, she continued, “And there is nothing you can do to stop it so you had better figure out the ‘where’ and the ‘how’ especially since you’re getting awful close to the ‘when’.”
“Yes, but—“
“Ghaena says you’re going to be fine, Tara says you’re going to be fine, everyone says you’re going to be fine”, Buffy said, exasperated. “So you’re going to be fine!”
“Why are you being so mean about it?” Willow asked in a small hurt voice.
“I know what you want, Willow”, the slayer replied, “You want me to agree with you and tell you that I think everyone is pushing you too hard to make a decision. But, that’s not what you need. You need someone one to tell it to you like it is and as your best friend, I feel it is my sacred duty to do so.”
“So, you’re giving me what I need and not what I want”, the redhead bitterly surmised.
“Yup”, Buffy admitted plainly.
“How very benevolent of you.”
“Will, what do you think is going to happen when nine months is up?” Buffy questioned. “I mean, honestly, what do you think? Do you even realize that at the end of all this there’s going to be a new life in your hands? Or do you think that you’ll just stop being pregnant and everything will go back to how it was before?”
Willow stared into her glass of ice water, she could feel her nostrils flaring as her temper rose, but she kept it in check, because she new deep down that her best friend was right. “Of course I know that there is a life inside of me, Buffy”, she said. “I can feel her kick.”
The slayer decided to let the subject rest for the moment. She could see that Willow was taking this conversation in a similar fashion to how she used to take a beating from a vamp. Hard.
“When does Emily start back to school?” She asked softly.
“Middle of August”, Willow answered, “The school district has decided to try the year-round thing.”
“How does she feel about that?” Buffy pressed on.
“Emily?” Willow questioned to verify. Seeing Buffy nod, she continued, “Oh, she’s excited. She loves school.”
“Just like her mama”, the blonde smiled. Willow smiled back. “Will, you’re a great parent and you’re going to do fine. But you need to start making plans.”
The redhead nodded dumbly, absent-mindedly rubbing one of her hands over her growing belly.
*****
Willow lay wide-awake in bed, propped up in a nest of pillows; Tara curled up at her side. She scanned the varying darkness of the bedroom, her eyes falling on the digital display of the alarm clock: 2:36am. Letting out a tired sigh she shifted a little, feeling the child inside her respond with a protesting kick.
“Oof”, she winced quietly, “I guess I woke you up.” Another kick. “Sheesh. You’re starting to feel like an entire AYSO soccer team in there.”
Tara stirred next to her, “Will?”
“Sh, baby, go back to sleep”, Willow urged, “I’m just having a little argument with mini-me in here.”
“Is she really active tonight?” Tara asked, sitting up.
“I think she joined a step aerobics class behind our backs”, the redhead joked. Tara smiled and placed her hand on her lover’s belly; feeling the movement, joy filling her heart. She didn’t notice Willow’s expression taking a sudden turn downward until her wife spoke something so softly she barely registered it.
“What, darling?” She replied.
“I said ‘I’m scared’.” Willow repeated, her voice still tiny. “You were so much better at this”, she continued.
“At what?”
“Having a baby”, the hacker explained. “You were so natural. I mean, you were so beautiful and sexy and… you handled everything so well. Even with the difficulties near the end… you were perfect.”
“I wasn’t perfect, Will”, the blonde sighed.
“To me you were”, Willow pressed on, “you were my beautiful pregnant earth goddess.”
“Get me down off that pedestal right now”, Tara responded softly but firm. “Because there is no way that you are going to be able to live up to an idealized image in your head. I know that if that’s what you feel you have live up to, you know you can’t so you’ll think you’ve already failed. But, you haven’t failed, Will and you need to get yourself out of the mindset that you have or else you will. And I can’t stand to see that happen. I won’t.”
Willow winced as she felt another kick. It seemed she was getting hit on all sides. Literally.
“What’s her name?” She asked after a moment.
“Michelle”, Tara immediately answered, a great smile suddenly crossing her face.
“I know”, Willow agreed, her eyes brightening in the dark. “Michelle. She told me, just now.”
“Me too, just now”, her love echoed.
After an age of basking in the glow their new daughter’s name, Willow finally spoke up, “Do you think Buffy would mind if we used our old room?”
“For when you have the baby?” Tara inquired.
“Yeah.”
“We can ask, but I don’t see why not”, the blonde responded, beaming, “I think she’d be positively thrilled!”
“Good”, Willow replied, stifling a yawn.
“Think you can sleep now?”
Willow nodded, feeling her eyes drifting shut.
“Good”, Tara whispered, leaning up to kiss her lover’s cheek. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” She then placed her lips softly on Willow’s belly. “Goodnight, Michelle.”
“Oof… she says ‘goodnight’.” The redhead mumbled. Tara chuckled softly as sleep overtook them all.
*****
TBC...