by Alcy » Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:02 pm
[center]~ Chapter Sixteen ~
And the stars are shining bright[/center]
It took Willow almost a minute to realise that the horrible screeching noise in her ears wasn’t a part of her dream, but rather her alarm going off. She finally rolled over and saw 7.00am staring back at her. With a groan she fumbled for the off button. This relatively simple task was made more difficult by the fact that it was the first time she had set an alarm clock in years.
As she sat up in bed, still half-asleep, Willow vaguely remembered a time when waking early had been almost effortless. Too many years had been spent rolling out of bed after lunch or only just going to bed at lunch. She gave herself another minute to adjust to the strange smell of morning before coaxing her uncooperative legs over the side of the bed.
It took her another five minutes, sitting on the side of her bed, to decide if she really wanted to go through with her plan. Willow glanced back over her shoulder at the inviting warmth of her bed and contemplated burrowing back under the covers once again. The temptation was so strong, that eventually she had to stand up and make a beeline for the shower.
Half an hour later, snug in her robe with her wet hair falling down around her shoulders and a cup of coffee in her hands, Willow felt immensely better. Despite an amount of dread at what she knew was to come, there was also a sense of anticipation. The part of her that had worked so hard to transform her life, told her that she was making the right decision. The nagging little voice telling her to go back to bed and hide, was banished to a small corner of her mind as she ventured to the very back of her walk in wardrobe to retrieve something she had never worn.
Willow laid the suit, still snug in its protective zip lock bag, down on her bed. She drained the last of her coffee as she stared down at it. The suit was Zambesi of course. It had been an impulse buy last winter. When she tried the smart jacket and pants on, it had instantly made her feel different, important in a way. However, until now, she had never had the occasion or the inclination to wear it.
She set her empty coffee cup down and unzipped the bag. “Well, here goes nothing.”
~~~~~~
“Fourteenth floor,” the elevator chimed sweetly as its doors slid smoothly open.
With a deep breath, Willow stepped out and into the spacious lobby beyond. She desperately wanted to wipe her sweaty palms on something but had to settle for clutching the straps of her Fendi bag in a white knuckled grip. Suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious, she panicked and retreated back into the elevator before the doors could close. She hurriedly stabbed her finger on the button that would take her back to the ground floor.
“Going down,” the voice said as the elevator began to move soundlessly.
Willow let out a sigh of relief and collapsed back against the cool walls of the elevator, closing her eyes as she reflected on her narrow escape. However, the relief quickly faded to be replaced by a flood of regret and shame. She had come this far, and she was going to waste her effort because she couldn’t bring herself to take the last few steps. The rear wall of the elevator was mirrored and she turned to stare at herself. With her hair swept back, wearing her Zambesi suit, Willow couldn’t quite recognise herself. It took her a few moments to realise who she was seeing instead. Although she had not looked at photos for some time, she instantly thought of her mother. Sheila Rosenberg wasn’t exactly a person who occupied much of Willow’s thought time. However, being forced to face her in her own reflection brought her memories flooding back.
“Ground floor,” chimed the annoyingly sweet electronic voice.
She turned to face the opening doors, but instead of exiting the lift, Willow remained standing in one corner. A petite blonde woman was staring at her as she waited to enter.
“This is the ground floor, are you getting out?” she asked with a frown.
“Ah no,” Willow shook her head. “I’m going back up.”
The blonde shrugged and stepped into the elevator. “What floor?”
“Fourteen please,” Willow replied. She forced herself to stand up straight and at least look confident, even if she didn’t feel it on the inside.
“Same floor as me.” Her elevator companion grinned. “Ah-huh! It makes sense now. The flustered expression, general spazzy behaviour - you’ve got a job interview!”
“Something like that,” Willow replied politely. She wasn’t sure she wanted to give any further information away, even though the perky blonde seemed perfectly normal.
“Well, don’t worry so much, it’s a great company to work for,” she offered helpfully. “And if it’s not too rude of me to say, you look really fabulous
Willow smiled her thanks. However, she already knew she looked particularly smart and quite possibly stunningly gorgeous. It was how she felt on the inside that was another matter altogether. At any moment she felt she might throw up all over the stylish shoes of her companion.
“Fourteenth floor,” the elevator chimed again.
The door swung open and the blonde waved her hand, indicating for Willow to exit first. Willow paused, unable to bring herself to take that first step. Her hesitation caused the doors to begin to slide shut once again. However, before they could close, the blonde thrust her arm between them.
She cast a pointed look in Willow’s direction. “Out you get. I don’t really fancy a ride all the way down again.”
“You can get out, I might just stay in here,” Willow said, shrinking backwards rather than walking forward.
“I’m not leaving this elevator before you, and I really do want to get to work…so go on, out!”
Beneath the blonde’s watchful gaze, Willow stepped out of the elevator. Her ‘personal motivator’ followed just behind her, making sure she didn’t make a last second dive back into the safety of the grey box. The door slide shut and her escape route was gone.
“See that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Willow turned with a slight smile. “Sorry, I’m not normally such a dummy.”
The blonde cocked her head to one side and grinned. “No, I’ve only just met you, and to me you look both smart and confident – which is why you’re going to march in there and not look back.”
“Thanks, I will,” Willow promised.
“Well, best of luck then. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you, and if not-“ the blonde handed her a business card. “-call me sometime.”
Willow accepted the card with a warm smile. “Thanks-“ Willow glanced down at the card to get her name and she was slightly taken aback for a moment by the rather odd name. “-Buffy.”
Unconcerned by the fact that the nervous redhead obviously thought her name was weird, Buffy nodded and smiled.
Willow smiled and offered her own name. “I’m Willow.”
“Willow…cute,” Buffy replied with a wink. “See you round…and I don’t want to hear that you got back in that elevator!”
With a nod of reassurance, Willow confirmed that she wouldn’t. She then watched Buffy walk in the opposite direction for a moment before the petite blonde disappeared through a nearby door. As she glanced down at Buffy Summers’ business card, she wondered whether the blonde was just being friendly or there was an ulterior motive underlying the ‘call me’ invitation. Willow realised her gaydar was failing. It wasn’t a good omen.
Squaring her shoulders, Willow strode up to the desk. While she waited to be greeted, she read the receptionist’s nameplate, ‘Candice Mathys.’ Candice, who was absolutely gorgeous and looked as though she had barely left high school, glanced up as Willow cleared her throat. She looked as though she had swallowed a lemon. “Can I help you?” the dark-haired receptionist asked. Her tone matched her expression perfectly. She certainly didn’t give off a helpful vibe.
Willow forced herself to keep her expression neutral and business-like, but the corresponding expression on Candice’s face left her with her own sour taste in her mouth. “Yes, I would like to see Mr Rosenberg please,” Willow asked. Even as she asked the question, she realised that she ought to have called and made an appointment. He was more than likely a busy man.
Candice confirmed her fears almost immediately. “Do you have an appointment?”
“No, but my name is...”
“You won’t be able to see Mr Rosenberg without an appointment. I hope you realise that?”
“Yes, well, no...I mean I know I was supposed to make one. If you don’t mind, could you ring his secretary and see if he has any time this morning?” Willow asked – remaining friendly and polite was becoming increasingly difficult in the face of such hostility.
She appeared that she did mind – a lot. “I’ll try.”
“Thank you so much,” Willow couldn’t help but allow a little snark to creep into her voice. “Could you tell him that...” the phone rang and Candice immediately answered it, silencing Willow by holding up her hand. She then gave a little wave toward a red leather couch that sat in the corner of the reception area.
With a brief nod, Willow sat on the leather couch as indicated. She spent a few minutes glancing around at the rather austere and spartan interior of the reception area. Although she had not set foot in the building for some time, she remembered being a lot less stylish. There had been photos covering the wall - photos of building projects, signed photos of famous rugby players, photos of family and friends. In fact, it had looked a lot like a grandmother’s living room. That was all gone – replaced by perfectly trimmed plants, expensive art by well-known New Zealand artists and the hard leather couch upon which she sat.
Candice finished her phone call and she waited for her to make a call to the secretary as she had promised. However, Willow caught the receptionist staring at her over the top of her monitor before she quickly looked away when spotted. With an annoyed sigh, Willow realised that she wasn’t going to call anyone at all. She was waiting for her to give up and leave. Regardless of how much Willow had changed over the past few months, she wasn’t about to let a baby receptionist on a power trip get the better of her. She withdrew her wallet from her bag and marched back up to the desk.
“Can I help you?” Candice asked in a challenging tone. She was prepared to do battle.
“Yes,” Willow replied, keeping her tone neutral and amiable. “Can you tell me the name of this company?”
“Excuse me, but what are you doing here if you don’t even know the name of this company?” Candice fired back in a condescending manner.
“I know the name of this company,” Willow said. “I was asking if you did.”
Candice pouted. “Absolutely ridiculous. I work here. It’s RB Dynamics.”
“And what does the ‘RB’ stand for?” Willow continued, keeping her tone neutral.
“Rosenberg Brothers,” Candice replied promptly. “After the company founders - Ira and Joseph Rosenberg.”
Willow retrieved her driver’s license from within her wallet and placed it on the desk in front of the receptionist. She did amazingly well to keep the smug smile from her face.
With a bored expression, Candice picked it up and read it. Her jaw dropped as soon as she read the name. She handed the license back to Willow with a momentarily sheepish expression on her face. She wiped it quickly and replaced it with a professional air of calm. It was the expression she ought to have worn all along.
“I’ll call Mr Rosenberg’s secretary now, if you’d just like to take a seat, Ms Rosenberg.”
“Thank you, Candice,” Willow replied graciously.
She returned to the leather couch and for the first time since she had walked in the building, felt her apprehension returning.
“Excuse me, Ms Rosenberg,” Candice called from the desk less than a minute later. “Mr Rosenberg can see you straight away.”
Willow wiped her palms on her pants again and stood. She strode back to the desk, relieved to find that the receptionist’s attitude had changed from hostile to efficient.
“I’m terribly sorry for being rude,” Candice looked suitably ashamed of herself. “It’s just that I keep getting told that people need appointments.”
“No worries,” Willow replied, managing a sincere smile. Reflecting again that Candice really was rather attractive. “I know I should have called.”
“Yes, you should have,” Candice replied, adding a hint of playful humour to her voice. “His office is just through the door at the very end of the corridor.”
Candice gave her a discreet wink as she passed. For a few seconds, Willow was able to banish her nervousness by imaging a bout of office sex up against the photocopier. Given that she had never had job in her life, photocopier sex was an activity she had yet to experience.
The pleasant moment lasted only until she reached the door to her uncle’s office. It was already open. Drawing in a breath, Willow knocked lightly on the door frame before walking in with her head held high. There was a man leaning against the desk. He had a slender frame, but his shirt bulged out slightly to hint at a small spare tyre around his waist. The hair on his head was almost completely gone save for dark tufts behind each of his ears. As soon as he laid eyes on Willow, a broad smile crossed his pink cheeked face.
“Sweet heavens above!” he said
“I didn’t quite believe it when I heard you were here but here you are. Are you going to let me give you a hug or is that not something you young people do these days?”
Willow didn’t say anything. She simply took several steps forward and allowed her uncle to wrap his slender but welcoming arms around her. For a few glorious moments she closed her eyes and imagined that she was in her Dad’s arms. She couldn’t allow the moment to last long. As soon as her eyes started to burn, she drew back. Her uncle could never replace her father. She disentangled herself gently from his embrace but allowed him to remain holding on to her elbow.
“I haven’t seen you for far too long, Willow,” he admonished her slightly. “Sarah and I would have loved you to have been at our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I would have called to check the invitation arrived, but I didn’t have your number. I know, it’s a terrible excuse…”
“It arrived,” Willow interrupted. It was hardly Joseph’s fault that she had never bothered to give him her cell number. “But I didn’t…” She remembered that invitation arriving several months earlier. The cover was a photo showing her parents as part of the wedding party. Willow had crumpled it in her fist without even bothering to read it. “You wouldn’t have wanted me there. I was too self-absorbed to care about anyone but myself.”
Joseph swallowed awkwardly. He had no children of his own so he was completely unaccustomed to dealing with such admissions. Research and development and multi-million dollar projects were what he understood. However, even he could acknowledge the significance of having his niece standing in front of him.
Willow was fully aware that she was making him slightly uncomfortable. Instead of continue to list her failings over the past few years; she got to the real reason behind her visit. “When I dropped out of university after Mum’s death, you said I should come to work for the company…just as a means to keep myself occupied more than anything. I threw that offer back in your face as savagely as I could. I am so sorry for being an ungrateful bitch.”
“Willow…you were hurting…” Joseph began.
She shook her head firmly. “Please don’t make excuses for me. I’ve made more than enough for myself. There is something else you can do for me.”
“Anything…of course.”
Willow drew in a deep breath and held her chin high. “I know it’s been a while, and I really don’t deserve it, but…does that offer of a job still stand?”
“Of course it does!” Joseph replied quickly, his bright eyes shining. “Do you have any ideas as to what you would like to do?”
“I really don’t care,” Willow replied. “I just want to find somewhere where I will be useful.”
“Oh, Willow,” her uncle said gently as he drew her into another warm hug. “You’ve already been useful just by walking in my door.”
It took Willow a while to realise what the fuzzy feeling in her stomach was. Eventually she knew it was the simple joy of being with family once again.
~~~~~~
Faith tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the crossing light to turn green. She risked a glance in both directions in the hope that she could sneak across the road. However just as she stepped off the curb, a bicycle courier whizzed past and would have collided with her had she not leapt backwards. Although she was saved from being knocked flat, she succeeded in elbowing another pedestrian also waiting to cross the road.
“I’m so sorry!” Faith apologised as she steadied herself. She quickly saw that the woman had dropped her handbag and she retrieved it before someone else could stand on it. “Here you go…”
As Faith stood with the bag in her outstretched hand, she was able to get her first look at just who she had collided with. She was taken aback somewhat when she saw a familiar face staring back at her. Although Faith had barely had the opportunity to meet Willow Rosenberg in the short but catastrophic time that Tara had been involved with her, she would never forget such a distinctive face.
Willow accepted her handbag with a small smile of thanks. For an awkward moment, neither woman knew exactly what to do. At that point they could have acknowledged they knew each other with merely a hurried goodbye and continued on their separate ways. That opportunity passed as the moment lengthened to the point where one of them had to actually say something.
Before that could happen, they found they were being jostled on all sides by standing directly in the flow of pedestrian traffic. Faith ducked to the edge of the footpath as she waited to cross the road and Willow followed.
“So…lunchtime,” Willow said in the absence of better conversation.
“Yeah…lunchtime,” Faith agreed. “I’m kinda surprised to see you taking part in the lunchtime office exodus, I’m pretty sure Tara said you didn’t work. Um, sorry, that came out badly.”
“No, it’s okay,” Willow replied quickly. “I’ll admit, I was a spoilt little brat. Up until last week I had never held down a real job in my life, but now I’m just starting out at RB Dynamics.”
“Impressive, I think we do their legal work,” Faith noted.
“Well, it’s a family company so I can’t claim I got the job through my stunning academic qualifications or natural talent,” Willow admitted. “But it’s not like I’m Vice-president. I’m starting from about as close to the bottom as you can get.”
Faith couldn’t hide her surprised expression. “And how are you finding it?”
“Work is hard work,” Willow noted. “It took me a week to get used to dragging myself out of bed early, then the weekend came along and come this morning, it was just as hard to get up as it was the first day.”
Faith laughed lightly. She had always told herself that if she saw Willow Rosenberg again, she would give her the drubbing she thoroughly deserved. However, she almost found herself enjoying the redhead’s honest conversation. “I’ve been doing this for a while now and trust me, it never gets any easier. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my job but I’d be lying if I said I’m a box of sunshine on Monday mornings.”
Willow nodded knowingly. The awkwardness between them had alleviated somewhat and she was no longer tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for the traffic lights to change. She remembered that Faith was dating her neighbour. “I’ve seen you in my building a couple of times. How are things with Karl going?”
“Oh, Karl and I broke up a few weeks ago,” Faith shrugged and brushed it off with a wave of her hand. “He was a real sweetheart…but just didn’t light my fire, you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, I know.” Willow bit her lip. She desperately wanted to ask about Tara and wondered whether it was appropriate. It was ridiculous; Tara was the sole reason that she and Faith knew each other in the first place. If she couldn’t bring herself to ask after the blonde now, then she never would. “How’s Tara?” Willow asked as casually as she could manage. Her effort was futile. The question came out more like a strangled gasp than a proper sentence. “I mean, is she good…doing well…I mean, is she healthy, as in the opposite of sick?” God, I really need to just stop talking!
Faith fought the urge to laugh again. She hadn’t realised that the redhead was a little goofy. Although she barely knew Willow, her impression had always been of a confident, arrogant young woman who had no trouble saying exactly what she meant. However, here she was, struggling to ask such a mundane question. She studied the redhead’s pathetic expression for a moment and much to her surprise, realised that there was a sincere desperation for news about Tara.
There was then the slight difficulty of giving Willow an honest answer. Normally she would respond with ‘fine,’ or another equally standard response. ‘Fine’ would have been a lie. Tara was a wreck, every bit as depressed and hopeless as she had been in the weeks following Audrey’s death. Faith was perceptive enough to know that it had nothing to do with breaking up with Grace.
I shouldn’t be saying this, not to Willow, Faith thought, before she plunged headfirst into unknown territory. I’m going straight to the part of hell reserved for people who are terrible best friends… “Did you know that she broke up with Grace?”
“She broke up with Grace?” Willow repeatedly dumbly. She let the words sink in, and then shifted to hopeful elation. The elation was allowed to run its course before she brought herself back to earth. Tara and Grace had ended things; it did not mean there was any place for her in Tara’s life. “Um, that’s a shame.”
The traffic lights finally changed and buzzed loudly as a sea of pedestrians began to swarm across the intersection. Conversation was made difficult as Willow and Faith crossed the road in the rush. The jostling continued when the reached the other side, and for a moment Willow thought that Faith had parted ways discreetly. However, a few seconds later she felt a gentle tug on her arm. She turned to see Faith catching up to her.
“Hey…Willow…do you have any plans for lunch?” Faith gently drew her out of the main flow of pedestrian traffic.
“Well, I’d gotten as far as leaving the office in search of something,” Willow replied. “Then I bumped into you. So I’m still in the searching phase.”
“Do you like bagels?”
“Of course,” Willow replied with a nod. “Everyone likes bagels.”
That settled it. Ten minutes later, Willow and Faith were perched side by side on a bench in a small, mid city park, surrounded by pigeons and other corporate types out for their lunch break. For a few minutes, all they did was eat. Willow taking slow bites of her salmon and cream cheese and Faith tucking into her roast beef and pickle with great gusto.
Willow had barely eaten half when Faith finished. She turned and looked at the brunette. They had met only once, at Zambesi and then it had only been an exchange of a few sentences. However she did know that Faith was Tara’s best friend. Talking to her honestly could only be a good thing.
Faith started talking with her mouth still half full. “I don’t know if I should even be talking to you.”
“I can go…” Willow began.
“No, that’s not what I meant,” Faith interrupted, she swallowed her mouthful and washed it down with a sip from her coffee. “My track record when it comes to meddling with Tara’s love life has been nothing short of abysmal. Although I had absolutely nothing to do with that first night the two of you met.” Faith let out a snort that could have been a laugh. “I did make her go along to your party alone, where she ended up with a black eye because I wasn’t there to look out for her. She was too ashamed to even tell me about that for weeks!”
Willow sighed at that particular memory. What a disaster that night had been. First she had thrown herself at Tara like a sex hungry animal, then Kelly had decked Tara in a jealous rage. There were a dozen things she could have done differently to ensure that night had gone better. For starters, she should have barred Kelly from entering her apartment. If she were sober, then she might have been able to talk to Tara instead of grope her.
“That was hardly your fault,” Willow commented. “I was a self-absorbed bitch.”
“And then some,” Faith replied, taking a deep gulp of her coffee. “Anyway, then she manages to get rid of you, which I thought was absolutely fantastic. She started dating someone else, someone I thought would be really good for her, but then she went and dumped her and now she’s so fucking miserable that it makes me want to cry just looking at her.”
“Tara dumped Grace?” Willow confirmed tentatively. “If she’s so miserable about it, then why did she? They seemed like a good couple.”
The last admission was rather forced. Although Grace seemed perfectly nice, she had clumsily brought up the article about her being with Claire Larsen in the paper. Just for that, Willow felt justified in feeling a small amount of resentment towards the woman.
Faith sighed wearily, as though she was about to say something that she ought not to. “She’s not miserable because she dumped Grace; she barely even made it off first base with Grace. God knows why…but she’s miserable because of you.”
“Me?” Willow squeaked in reply. “I haven’t done anything to her…not recently anyway.”
“Well, you did something to her. Now she can’t get you out of her head,” Faith said, taking another large, rather savage, bite of her bagel. She chewed with intensity for a minute before continuing. “The real question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“Regardless of whether she is still thinking about me, I can’t just call her and ask her out for coffee,” Willow shook her head sadly. It wasn’t going to be that easy. She turned to Faith and had a sudden flash of inspiration. “I need you to speak to Tara on my behalf. I can’t talk to her. She thinks I’m a player and a liar.”
“I think you’re a player and a liar too,” Faith admitted a little too readily for Willow’s liking.
“I was a player and a liar,” Willow said firmly. She knew that she had changed, and it was time for other people to realise it as well.
“I’m tempted to quote that old phrase,” Faith began. “Leopards don’t change their spots. However, I’m prepared to do anything to help my girl…and if it means bringing you back into her life, then that’s what I have to do.”
She crammed the last piece of her bagel into her mouth. The time it took to chew and swallow the large hunk, gave her time to consider whether she was doing the right thing. Faith drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She turned to regard Willow with a steady gaze. She could tell Willow was fighting to maintain a semblance of dignity, but her excitement was difficult to contain. It was almost disgustingly cute.
“Okay, here’s the plan - we just might happen to be going jogging around Oriental Bay this evening, at about 6.30. So if you happen to bump into Tara, would you be inclined towards apologising profusely and asking her if you can start over?”
Willow finally let out the giddy breath she had been holding. “Yes! Of course, the apologising will be profuse…and I may even grovel. But seriously, she’s going to run in the opposite direction as soon as she sees me.”
“I can’t make any guarantees, Red. However I reckon she wants to see you just as badly as you want to see her.”
Although she had difficulty controlling her wildly fluctuating heart palpitations, Willow mustered a confident nod in reply. She was in no doubt that this would be her final chance with Tara and she was determined to make the most of it.
Faith was apparently thinking the same thing. “And Willow…if you screw this up or so much as cause one tiny little tear to fall down Tara’s cheek because of something you’ve done, then I will kick the crap out of your scrawny little arse.”
Examining the stern expression on Faith’s face, Willow was in doubt as to who would come off better in a fight between herself and the swarthy brunette. She did her best to put a reassuring smile on her face as she nodded in agreement.
“What about tears of joy?” she asked tentatively.
“Whoa, getting way too far ahead of yourself there, Red,” Faith shook her head. “Just start with civilised conversation…and no sex on the first date…or the second...or better yet, no sex for a month.”
Willow grinned. “Now you’re getting too far ahead of yourself. Conversation is a good place to start. If I can string two sentences together and remain charming, then I will be happy.
“This may seem like a weird question, but what happened to you?” Faith asked as she brushed her suit off, ready to return to work. “Judging by everything you did to Tara, I thought you were the devil incarnate. Yet here you are and you seem nice…almost normal.”
As she deftly tossed her paper bag so it landed in a nearby rubbish bin, Willow already knew the easy answer. Sparkling blue eyes consumed her vision and she could almost feel soft, milky white skin beneath the pads of her fingers. The small hope of experiencing that once again was what continued to motivate her.
She swung her bag over her shoulder and looked evenly at Faith for a moment before replying simply, “Tara happened.”
grace.....
