by jixer » Fri May 20, 2005 11:15 am
Chapter 24
Buffy stood up and returned the book to the shelf. She pulled out the next volume and stopped. On the front the cover was slightly different. She looked closely and saw a new line drawing in the lower corner of the cat and the Space Needle on the cover, one with four people at Pike Street Market. Buffy stood there and opened the book quickly.
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Svetlana Ivanova leaned against the coffee bar and tried to manage the various bags and sacks. She looked at Dawn who was similarly burdened and frowned.
“How are we going to fit all of this into one small car?” she asked.
“We’ll tie you to the roof rack,” Dawn replied brightly.
“No, we would gain more volume if you were the one on the roof,” Svetlana said with mock seriousness.
“Geometry as a debate tool,” Willow observed. “I like it.”
Svetlana smiled and then looked truly somber. “What chance do I have to stay with you?”
“I’m not sure,” Tara explained. “There’s a lot going on right now with four governments involved and that’s not counting the ones in Russia.”
“The local, county, state and federal governments’ roles are clearly defined within their respective charters and constitutions,” Svetlana replied.
“There’s supposed to be and there’s how it is,” Willow sighed.
“It is more complicated than coffee in this city?” Svetlana wondered.
“Yes,” Tara answered. “Bit only just.”
“A little bit,” Svetlana said proudly.
“We’ll get you to talkin’ good,” Dawn smiled.
“English was hard enough,” the blonde girl sighed. “I don’t know how anyone learns American.”
“Hi Danni!” Dawn called out to her friend. The tall girl waved and walked over with a graceful stride.
“Sorry I’m late,” Danni said ruefully. “Coach Garner was at her worst.”
Tara watched closely and caught Svetlana’s reaction to the older teen. When she looked at Danni she caught the glance Danni gave Svetlana and the raising color in the athlete’s cheeks.
Oh dear, she thought.
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“Uh oh,” Buffy whispered in the library.
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Tara was sitting at the dining room table when Svetlana emerged from the room she was sharing with Dawn. Tara took a deep breath and gripped her teacup.
“There’s hot water if you’d like tea,” she said to the young teen.
“Thank you,” Svetlana said happily. “Coffee is nice but I love tea. My…grandmother would make it for me after school.”
“School is one of the things I need to talk to you about,” Tara said carefully.
“Oh?” the girl asked nervously. “How did the testing come out?”
“You did very well,” Tara said reassuringly.
“What class year will I be assigned?” Svetlana asked.
“Sophomore,” Tara replied.
“Oh!” Svetlana said with a smile. “The same year as Danni!”
“Yes,” Tara said gently.
“What is wrong with that?” the girl asked looking suspiciously at Tara.
“You’re fourteen,” Tara explained. “There’ll be a lot of pressures.”
“Danni won’t pressure me,” Svetlana said.
“Probably not,” Tara agreed. “But there’s a constant stream of advertising and very stupid advice tossed at girls your age.”
“Tara, thank you for worrying about me,” Svetlana said with her own gentle tone. “I know I’m…political hot button. I won’t do anything that will make me go back. Not even with Danni.”
Tara saw the disappointment in the girl’s face with her words. She reached across the table and covered Svetlana’s hand with her own. The girl looked at her and smiled sadly. “It will only seem like forever,” Tara said. “But waiting can make things better in the end.”
“Did you and Willow wait?” Svetlana asked.
“For what seemed like forever,” Tara replied.
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“This isn’t about geometry is it?” Danni asked as Willow sat down with a cup of coffee.
“Not entirely,” Willow said carefully.
“What’s the not geometry part about?” the girl asked bluntly.
“Svetlana,” Willow answered honestly.
“Is this the ‘keep your hands off the underage girl’ speech?” Danni asked sullenly. “Because if it is I already know that.”
“Only in your head,” Willow said with a small smile. “The rest of your body isn’t always so cooperative, like when you see her and she smiles at you or when its just the two of you and you know how deeply in love you are and…ah, sorry, kind of lost track. Love will do that to you.”
“It’s not going to be like that,” Danni said more gently. “We can do this.”
“I hope you can,” Willow said carefully. “But you have to know going in this is the hardest thing you’re ever likely to do.”
“Are you trying to scare me off?” Danni asked.
“Maybe I should,” Willow said sadly. “Svetlana’s future is hanging by a thread, the kind of thread that can be burned through by even a spark. And you two definitely sparked.”
“You think so?” Danni asked hopefully.
“Sparks everywhere,” Willow said surely. “Much with the sparks.”
“How long do we have to wait?”
“She’s fourteen,” Willow said evenly.
“Forever,” Danni sighed miserably.
“It’ll just seem that way,” Willow replied. “But this way you’ll know.”
“Because if I do really care for her I’ll wait until she’s ready, and not just legal, which could be even longer,” Danni said softly. “And things might change and I might not ever get to the point where we’re together.”
“Yes,” Willow replied hearing the ache under Danni’s words.
“I’m going to do the right thing,” Danni said resolutely. “Even if it sucks.”
“You don’t have to do this alone,” Willow said.
“I’ve got friends,” Danni nodded. “Mentors even.”
“Let’s be kind of careful with that ‘mentors’ thing,” Willow said. “I’m not sure I’m old enough.”
“Gosh, I’m glad I didn’t say ancient crones full of knowledge,” Danni said innocently.
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Buffy looked up from the book and smiled. Then she noticed the next book in the series had a different line drawing on the cover. There were five people in that one. Buffy put back the book she had and reached for that one.
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“Tara?” Cora’s voice sobbed.
“Cora, what’s wrong?” Tara replied as Willow looked up at her tone.
“It’s my grandpa,” Cora said. “Its his heart. We’re at Harborview. He’s in the ICU. Can you come?”
“We’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Tara said resolutely.
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Tara felt the walls closing in as Cora leaned against her. The scents of disinfectants and worry brought back other waiting rooms. Then it hadn’t been an aortic aneurysm, it had been cancer that was waiting beyond the bland walls of the waiting room. Tara began to breathe just a bit faster. Then Willow touched her hand and she knew she would get through this. Cora’s grandmother was wheeled into the room, her face wet with tears.
“He’s had a heart attack in surgery,” she said brokenly. “The only thing keeping him alive is the drugs and the ventilator.”
“But they can fix him, can’t they?” Cora asked urgently.
“No, honey,” Tara found herself saying. “The medicines making his heart beat and keeping his blood pressure up won’t work forever.”
“They’re as high as they can go and he still is…” the old woman just shook her head.
“I want to see him,” Cora demanded.
“He’s very sick,” the aide behind the wheelchair began.
“I’ll take her,” Tara said meeting the young aide’s worried eyes. “Please go clear it with the nurses.”
The aide left and Willow gave her mate a worried look. Dawn echoed it.
“It’ll be okay,” Tara said with more calm than she felt.
Svetlana sat next to Cora. The younger girl looked at the Russian blonde. Svetlana looked down.
“I…my grandmother died last year,” Svetlana said haltingly. “I was alone…” Then she seemed to run out of words. Cora touched her hand.
“You’re not alone now,” Cora told her. “And neither am I.”
There was a knock at the door. Willow opened it to the aide.
“Would you come with me, please?” The aide said quietly.
Tara walked with Cora down the corridor. Tara concentrated on Cora as the doors opened. The aide took them to a room with the privacy curtains pulled. A balding middle-aged man with a trim goatee stepped out of the room.
“I’m William,” he said gently. “I’m your grandfather’s nurse.”
“Hello,” Cora said with strained politeness. “I’m Cora Livingston. This is Tara.”
“Hello,” William said nodding to Tara. “This is going to be a bit overwhelming. There’s a lot of machines in here, but he’s on medicines for pain so he’s not hurting.”
“Okay,” Cora said softly. “I’d like to see him now.”
The nurse pulled back the curtain and they walked slowly inside. Cora gingerly touched her grandfather’s hand.
“Hi gran’pa,” she said softly. “I love you.”
Soft chimes filled the air and William reached up to the monitors and frowned. All around the sheet covered figure on the bed machines worked. IV pumps whirred softly and drops fell into clear plastic chambers above. From the large white tube that projected from blue lips blue plastic tubes led to the large white box of the ventilator shifted slightly in tune with the rise and fall of a wounded chest. A heavyset man came in and nodded to Cora and Tara before going to the ventilator. He turned a knob and began writing on a clipboard full of papers.
“That’s Mike,” William said. “He’s the respiratory therapist.”
“I’m just increasing his oxygen level,” Mike explained.
“How much is he on now?” Tara asked.
“One hundred percent,” Mike answered.
Tara looked at the monitors. The numbers all were flashing. For a second she was looking at one with only green lights and the name Maclay on the phosphor screen.
“Can he take in enough oxygen on his own without that tube?” Tara asked.
“No ma’am,” Mike replied sadly. “It would be too much effort.”
“And his blood pressure is already too low, even with all the medications?” Tara went on. Cora looked at her.
“Yes,” William nodded. “He’s still-”
An alarm chimed more shrilly and Tara looked up at a ragged sawtooth pattern on the monitor. The numbers went lower as the pattern faded.
“Love you,” Cora said as she kissed her grandfather.
“I’ll be right with you,” Tara said. “Meet you at the desk.”
Cora nodded and left the room with hunched shoulders and her hands stuffed into her jacket pockets. When she was gone Tara leaned over the old man until her lips were inches from his ear.
“We will take care of her,” Tara said. “I swear to God she’ll be taken care of no matter what.”
There may have been almost imperceptible nod in reply. Tara knew it was all she would get but it was enough for her. Tara took Cora out of the ICU. As the doors closed Cora stopped and looked at Tara.
“You asked those questions for me, didn’t you?” she said more than asked.
“Yeah,” Tara said raggedly. “My father asked them for me when…”
Cora nodded and began to let her tears fall.
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“I’m sorry,” the old woman said to Willow. “I never thought…”
“We never do,” Willow said softly. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I’ll be all right,” Mrs. Livingston said. Willow noticed the slight burr, a left over from her stroke, was growing more pronounced. “I’m sorrry to put you in this position.”
“Don’t worry about us,” Willow said easily.
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Buffy read through the book. The days went by with the small crises and joys that filled most lives. She winced at the arguments, smiled at the making up, and sighed as the teens went through the agony of high school. Peter and Dawn slowly figured each other out in tiny steps. Roncalli returned but beyond showing up at Bean Squeezings he too seemed to wallow happily in the everyday world. Buffy worried at Dawn and Janet spending time talking about life as a cop. The FBI did not show up very much though Svetlana’s Immigration case did produce reams of forms. Buffy found herself flipping forward.
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“Graduation,” Dawn said carefully taking off her gown and cap after the rehearsal. “I thought I’d be happier to get out of this place.”
“Are you still on for U of W?” Danni asked hesitantly.
“Yeah,” Dawn said. “At least for now.”
“You’re seriously undecided,” Danni sighed. “I bet you can’t even decide which shoes to wear this weekend.”
“Doesn’t that go without saying?” Svetlana asked innocently.
“My track shoes,” Dawn grinned. “To stomp on both of your toes.”
“Is Peter going to be there?” Danni asked.
“Yes,” Dawn replied.
“And?” Danni begged.
“And the Senior Prom,” Dawn said with the hint of a blush.
“Yesss!” Danni said with a bounce. “Now, buy me and my girlfriend a coffee and fill us with gossip, but only the juiciest parts.”
“We went to a movie,” Dawn said primly. “And our behavior was above reproach.” Svetlana rolled her eyes. “Despite how it might have seemed to underage seniors when we came home.”
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Willow felt Tara’s breath stop when the principal announced Dawn’s name. Willow caught the teen on the screen and the camcorder followed her up to the podium as Tara and Cora clapped vigorously. “She looks so grown up,” Willow said proudly.
“She does,” Peter said beside her in a slightly stunned tone.
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Buffy smiled as she flipped more pages. College started for Dawn, Cora did her best in high school while Willow became immersed in graduate school. Buffy flipped several pages ahead, then several more as the normal life filled page after page. Finally she skipped to the end and looked at the last pages.
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Cora was packing the last of her things into the Mini. Willow looked at her watch and the data display in the car.
“I could take the bus,” Cora suggested.
“We’ll be fine,” Willow insisted. “The traffic data is fairly steady.”
“My nerves aren’t,” Tara said quietly.
“No worries,” Willow said pulling on her driving gloves.
It was still an adventure combining Willow, her Mini, and Seattle traffic. Their first stop was at a nursing home near Lake Washington. Mrs. Livingston looked with bright eyes at Cora’s entrance. They didn’t stay too long. Her latest stroke had taken the old woman’s voice, but her smiles were eloquent enough. So was her yawn and Cora’s parting kiss. Then they drove north. On the edge of Marysville they stopped at the retirement home for the Catholic religious were Sister Frances fussed over all three of them despite her walker and new hip. Finally they had to part, and Tara knew there would be a Rosary said for all of them.
God knows she’ll need all the help she can get, Tara thought glancing back at Cora. I hope she’s right. Or maybe I want her to be wrong about this.
Their last stop was the main gate at McChord Air Force Base. There a Security Force Airman checked Cora’s name and ID.
“Another one for Lackland and Basic,” he said checking off her name on her clipboard. “Go ahead and say goodbye while I ring for transport.”
It was a reserved display for all the emotion in the air. Finally the car arrived and Cora turned and headed for the gate. She gave one last wave and was gone. Willow and Tara climbed into the car and furiously tried to dry their eyes. The long trip back to their apartment was mostly silent. They went inside and were greeted by an impatient meow.
“I don’t remember this place being so big,” Willow said distantly. Then she and Tara hugged for a very long time.
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Buffy put the book back. In the corner her guide pointed to her wrist. Buffy glanced at the cover of the next book. There were five figures again on the front cover. Buffy frowned and looked at the opening chapter. This series started three years later. Buffy read about Tara’s start as a social worker, Willow’s esoteric papers which sounded very scientific and important but sleep inducing. Then she found what she was looking for.
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“I was wondering when this was going to happen,” Willow sighed.
“What do you mean?” Tara asked innocently.
“I mean we already have a spare cat and a Lab that was abandoned,” Willow said with a rueful smile. “I actually thought you’d be bringing home two legged strays before this.”
“They’re, um, kind of a special case,” Tara said gently.
“They’re?” Willow asked.
“Two girls and a boy,” Tara explained.
“We’re getting the house with extra rooms for when the girls drop in,” Willow said quickly.
“I don’t think Dawn’s going to be doing much dropping in,” Tara said with a small smile. “And it looks like Cora will be accepted at WSU for pre vet after she gets out of the Air Force.”
“Don’t change the subject,” Willow warned. “Which is kids, three of them. We already did that, remember?”
“Yeah,” Tara said. “I kind of vaguely recall something along those lines.”
“Why three?” Willow demanded. “Are they related?”
“Brother and two sisters,” Tara replied. “Oldest girl is fourteen, the boy is eleven, and the youngest girl is seven.”
“Don’t they have anyone else?” Willow asked in a softer tone.
“Their uncle was killed in the war,” Tara answered. “They have one grandparent left and he’s in a nursing home. Their parents were killed by a drunk driver on their anniversary.”
“What about…?” Willow was running out of questions.
“Foster care will split them up,” Tara sighed. “And the oldest girl will go to a Juvenile facility for at least a month, more likely six.”
“Why?” Willow asked gently.
“There’s nowhere else to put her since the foster parent list is nonexistent,” Tara said. “Most of the ones left are on food stamps. We’re doing great, love. The rest of the Seattle metro area is hurting, and the tax base is half what it was five years ago.”
Willow stood up and walked over to the window. She looked out on a sunlit street. After a moment she turned around. “What about the shelter?” she asked. “There’s extra beds now.”
“They’re…”
“Already filled,” Willow finished. She met Tara’s eyes and for a moment forgot what she was going to say as day seemed to get just a bit brighter, then she shrugged. “Do two lesbians have a chance at getting custody?”
“Right now, we’re thinking of recruiting border collies,” Tara smiled.
“I don’t think we’d have a chance against that kind of competition!”
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Buffy read the beginning part of the Winslow children’s story with Willow and Tara. The oldest girl, Mary, was distant and protective. Kyle was confused and hurt and trying to be brave. The youngest, Jennifer, had been the most frightened but transition was the easiest. The first night in the strange house she slept soundly with Miss Kitty curled up on her bed.
Buffy read on, but soon was flipping again until she suddenly found Dawn.
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“What the fuck do think you’re doing, Summers?” the instructor bellowed.
“Approaching the suspect, sir!” Dawn replied loudly.
“And what happens when he does this?” the instructor demanded as the other student moved suddenly at her. Dawn reacted the way Jesse had taught her years before and the student smashed into the ground. There was a gasping noise as he tried to catch his breath. The instructor shook his head. “What are you supposed to be doing?”
“Arresting him for assaulting a police officer?” Dawn asked.
“So while he’s gasping like a landed fish why don’t you cuff him?”
“Yessir!” Dawn said as she dropped and roughly turned her fellow student over and cuffed him.
“That’s a suspect, Summers,” the older man snapped. “Not a steer. Do it again and try not to get your department sued this time.”
“Oh shit,” the other student gasped. “Why am I her partner today?”
“You were two minutes late,” the instructor said with a wolfish smile. “You miss by that much again and she gets you for a week.”
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Buffy flipped ahead to Dawn’s rookie year in the Seattle Police Department and stopped.
I can’t help her, Buffy realized with an ache in heart.
“They’re not mine,” Buffy said softly.
“No,” her guide said gently.
Buffy looked tot he end of the long line of books. One seemed to be almost there, but the cover was slightly different.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“A new series of stories,” her guide said. “The first part is not quite done so it doesn’t yet exist here.”
“That’s how I’m getting out?” Buffy asked.
“Yes,” her guide nodded. “One of these series will be your destination. And we have to go soon.”
Buffy turned back and took the last book that was in this place and opened it.
“I have to know how this one ends,” she said.
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Willow looked up at the sunny sky and thought how beautiful it was, and yet part of her felt it should be gray and raining. The doorbell rang. A tall brunette that had once been a frightened seven year-old girl wrapped Willow in a hug.
“How is she doing?” Jennifer asked through her tears.
“Her meds are working,” Willow sighed. “You have time to say goodbye.”
“Jennifer!” Tara said with happy surprise despite her red eyes.
“Tara,” was all the girl got out.
“Come on,” Tara said holding her hand. “I’ll take you to her.”
“She’s under the tree next to the garden,” Jennifer said surely.
“It’s her favorite spot,” Tara replied.
Tara and Jennifer went through the house towards the backyard. Jennifer noticed that her high school graduation picture was still the largest one in her part of the mantle. Mary’s picture with the baby was newer among the familiar display across the mantle and piano. All of the girls she thought of as her aunts graduated, married, posed or laughed. Tara’s oil portrait of the woman she’d never met was on the far wall, her blonde hair perfect in the style of the turn of the century.
Liz, Jennifer recalled. Then she heard her own name.
Dawn and Peter’s youngest daughter waved at her from the shelter of her father’s arms. Beside them Dawn sat next to Danni and Svetlana. My goodness, Jennifer thought with surprise, Danni’s getting gray. Then Jennifer saw her. Miss Kitty was dozing, her breathing erratic. When Jennifer stepped closer the cat opened her eyes and let out a weak meow. Jennifer leaned over and stroked her gently. The purr was weak and the once fine soft fur was brittle, with just bones underneath.
“Daddy, can’t you make Miss Kitty all better?” a small voice asked.
“Daddy can’t, honey,” Peter said in a shaky voice. Then he hugged her.
Jennifer stopped and looked for her siblings. Mary was coming out of the house with a tray full of iced tea. Behind her Kyle rocked his nephew and carried a diaper bag. Jennifer very gently leaned over and lifted Miss Kitty. She carried the too-light cat around to various people as the cat weakly purred with each caress. Then Willow led Cora into the backyard. Dawn touched her daughter’s arm.
“Annie, why don’t you take Daddy inside for a bit?” she said.
“Okay,” Annie said solemnly.
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Buffy slammed the book closed. Her hands turned white on the covers as she fought for control.
“She’s the link, isn’t she?” Buffy asked. “Anya and I sent her away with…”
“Yes,” her guide replied after it was apparent there would no more words.
Buffy nodded and put the book back. She looked around at the burgeoning shelves and wondered where to start. Her guide pointed out a book that was just forming. On the cover there was a Maltese cross and a fire engine. Both cross and engine were emblazoned with SVFD. The title kept changing but the art did not.
Buffy touched the cover.
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The former client slipped into the Los Angles City Library’s headgear. There was a brief buzz of static and then he looked around at the almost real room full of books. One literally popped up as he began to look at the titles. He selected the new volume, Volunteers and opened the story.
Willow Rosenberg looked up and knew her summer vacation was going to be different than what she’d planned. Her best friend was bearing down on her with Xander in tow. In Xander’s straining arms were binders marked ‘Requirements For Sunnydale Volunteer Fire Department Summer Brush Fire Junior Volunteers’ while Buffy carried forms and an enthusiasm that couldn’t be hidden.
“Will, you remember you were wishing you could do something more exciting this summer?” Buffy asked eagerly holding out a flyer.
“Well, um, you know, thinking about it and all, libraries can be exciting,” Willow said looking at the recruiting flyer with a hint of trepidation. “And then there’s studying next years textbooks, only without an assignment which is sort of like doing something high up without a net only more safely and not as crazy and-oh-there’s avoiding my parent’s ideas of a fun sixteenth birthday party and…we get to ride fire trucks?”
“Only to brush fires,” Buffy said with a note of disappointment.
“But we’re just teenagers,” Willow gasped. “And I’m not even going to be a sixteenager until-”
“Three days before the cut-off date,” Buffy interjected.
“Oh dear,” Cordelia said as she grabbed the flyer from Willow’s hand as the pack of cheerleaders sauntered past. “Willow’s found something new to hyperventilate about. I wouldn’t do that. I mean can you imagine that hair in a helmet, not too mention red’s not her color.”
“What is?” Harmony giggled as the cheerleaders turned the corner.
Willow looked at Buffy with an Even More Resolved Than Usual face.
“Give me a form.”
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In the quiet room full of people enjoying books and art featuring two women and sometimes a cat an old man gently pushed a book into better alignment with the rest in the series. The he went on his way with a cart full of books.
The End
) in future updates. In her defense I'll say Tara was blindsided in a place she thought was 'safe' by a comment on a traumatic incident that, on the surface, was an expression of concern. And here I thought I might slip that little incident by the Kittens to sneak up on them later! Silly me.
Bravo for Willow having the sense to talk to Tara about her concerns, and what she wants to do.
for chapter 22.
poor miss kitty 
)? Sort of the anthropomorphic personification of the Kitten board 
