Okay Juli. I set aside a nice chunk of my Saturday evening and re-read this fic from start to finish. And what I said about it before? Not enough. Not nearly enough.
There was a favorite quote of mine that kept running around inside my head since early on in this story. I think it came to mind at first because of how it applies to Tara so completely -- the way she naturally, instinctively, seems to know what others need and how to listen and help and take care of them. It was so easy to see and feel how much – how painfully much -- that was missed in her absence. But as this story progressed, I saw the wisdom of the words take hold in the actions of Dawn. And Buffy. And then, finally, profoundly, I saw this simple truth wrap itself around Willow and bring her back to a place where she could trust in herself again.
Anyway, the quote, from Maya Angelou’s “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”:
"See, you don’t have to think about doing the right thing. If you’re the right thing, then you do it without thinking.”
There came a point for each of them – for all the Scoobs, really -- where they stopped shrinking from the “death and grief and mistakes and wrong”. Instead, they opened themselves up again – to each other. To themselves. And -- aided of course by the advent of Dawn’s *rightness* in realizing her mystical keyness -- that’s where the real healing came from. They just started being again. Who they really are. And for each other. They all became *right* again. In using the metaphor of the elements to capture the essence of Dawn and Buffy and Tara and Willow, you illustrated that to perfection.
This little paragraph in the story, I think, also captures a big part of what I’m talking about.
Quote:
When Buffy lifted her head, she saw Tara smiling gratefully at her in the gentle and knowing way that only Tara smiled. Tara saw things that others didn’t, Buffy knew. She saw things that happened beneath the surface of conversations, currents that other people missed. She seemed to understand, now, and she smiled.
Quintessential Tara, of course. But it’s not so much her *knowing* or *seeing* in the sense of always having the answers. Instead, she just seems to have this clear and very compassionate understanding that the choices and decisions we make – the important ones, the ones that have a profound and lasting effect on who we are and who we (hope to) become – are never easy, never just a choice between black or the white, right or wrong, good or evil. Instead, it’s about making the best choice, the best decision, that we can at the time. Realizing that the best we can do is really, truly, the very best that we can be expected to do. In your fic, they all got a chance to realize that truth; and they seized it.
I think that, at some point, I had said that you’d done good here with this fic. But I stand corrected. You done *right* here. You done *right* by Tara. By Willow. By Buffy. By Dawn. By all of them. And, in so doing, you did *right* by all of us who needed something healing and hopeful to hold onto in the aftermath of Season 6. And the way you told this story, I think it applies to you as well. You -- your instincts…your deep and obvious love for these characters…your breathtakingly sensuous style of writing…and your desire to create something powerful and hopeful out of all that despair – were so very, very *right*.
At the end, I guess I just feel compelled to say it once more…Thank You. I’m going to keep and re-read and treasure this one for a long, long time.
I’m also going to run along now before people start to think I’m becoming a groupie or something. But my new sig? Picked it out especially with you in mind.
;-)
********
"How 'bout them Broncos..." -- Riley, saying something undeniably charming and useful, in The Initiative