Answering Darkness Part 18
Questions
"We're never going to find it," Anya said casually as she continued reading.
"Yes we are. Because we have to, and that's what we do," Xander said, looking up and frowning at his girlfriend.
"Oh, I know we have to … it's just that we never find anything. We're not the good research people. Giles and Willow are the good research people. They should be helping."
"Well, Giles is in England, and Willow is sleeping," Xander said, pointing out the obvious.
"Giles would have found it by now. Or Willow would have a clue. She'd be taking her little notes in her different colored pens, and she'd have some idea of what was going on. Maybe we should take notes?" Anya said.
"We could, but we haven't found anything worth writing down," Xander said. "Besides, that different colored pen thing is kind of … weird."
"Tara thinks it's cute," Dawn piped up.
"I'm sure she does," Xander said, nodding at Dawn. "But if Willow decided to write all her notes in pig-latin, Tara would think that was cute, too. But I don't suggest we try it."
"Tara thinks bunnies are cute, too. She's got a really twisted sense of cute," Anya pointed out. "Even when I was a demon, I didn't think bunnies were cute."
Xander stood, yawning hugely. "Coffee, Ahn?" he asked, looking over at the ex-demon.
"Sure. If we're going to be here all night instead of going back to the apartment for -"
"Anya!" Xander interrupted, gesturing towards Dawn with his head, his eyes wide.
"… cookies," she said slowly. "If we're not going to go have our cookies, then I might as well have some coffee."
"I'll take some coffee, too," Dawn said, a hopeful look on her face.
"I don't think so, Dawnie," Xander said. "You're a little young to be getting into the heavy caffeine. Pretty soon, you'll start drinking, then smoking, and before you know it, you'll have a nasty heroin addiction."
"Right. And then you'll end up in jail with a large girlfriend," Anya broke in. "Not that there's anything wrong with having a girlfriend, just … not in jail."
"Not helping," Xander said, his lips pressed together in a tight smile as he looked over at Anya. "Besides, Dawnie, it's kind of late, and you should go get some sleep." "You can't send me to bed," Dawn said, going back to her reading. "Besides, I'm helping."
"I can too send you to bed," Xander argued back, taking the book from Dawn and putting it back on the table. "Look, I know you're all adult and whatnot, but you were in the hospital yesterday. So for everyone's peace of mind, just get some sleep, okay?"
"Fine," Dawn said, standing up and stomping to the stairs.
"Willow's sleeping," Xander called after her, and her footsteps immediately quieted.
Tara watched over Willow as she slept, turning her head to the door when she heard footsteps on the stairs. The door creaked open, and Dawn poked her head in, her face worried.
"I just wanted to say good night," she whispered. "Xander and Anya sent me to bed," she went on, her face twisting into a look of righteous indignation. "Are they allowed to send me to bed?"
"Yes, they are," Tara said with an affectionate smile. She looked at the clock on the bedstand. "And they're right. You really should be sleeping."
Dawn's face fell, her hopes of Tara letting her stay up - because Tara certainly outranked Xander and Anya in the "bossing Dawn around" department - dashed. "Well, they're not really getting anywhere with the research thing. Xander doesn't want to quit, though - he's mad this thing hurt Willow, and Anya is just mad that Xander won't go home with her to have -"
"Dawn!" Tara interrupted.
"Uhh … cookies," Dawn finished weakly. "She is going to be all right, right?" Dawn asked, moving to the bed and looking down on Willow.
"Of course," Tara said. "She's strong. She'll be just fine."
"N-no," Willow mumbled, frowning in her sleep, her eyes fluttering. Tara squeezed her hand, brushing her hair back from her face and making soothing shushing noises. "Frogs!" Willow called, her eyes fluttering open.
"Hey … hey," Tara said, as Willow looked around the room wildly. "Frog-free zone here."
"Hi," Willow said, her breathing calming down. "Hey, Dawnie," she said, looking over at the teenager.
"Hey, Willow," Dawn said, moving over to hug her. "I just came in to say goodnight. I'll, uh … leave you two alone," she said, hugging Tara, then leaving the room.
"Good night," Tara said as the door closed. "How are you feeling?" she asked Willow, brushing her hair back from her face.
"Pretty yucky," Willow said. "And everything's kind of jumble-y," she finished, waving a hand near her head.
"You should probably go back to sleep," Tara said, unsure of what else she could say. "And I should probably help with the research."
"They're doing research?" Willow asked, perking up. "Maybe I should come help, too." She would do just about anything to stay with Tara a little longer, right now. There was something so safe about being in her presence.
"Willow," Tara said exasperatedly. "I doubt you could stand up right now. You should sleep."
"But I feel fine," Willow protested weakly.
"Yucky? Jumble-y?" Tara said, squeezing her hand. "Nice try, research girl, but Dr. Tara insists you stay in bed."
"Fine," Willow said, pouting.
"Can you tell me more about what happened?" Tara asked. "You don't have to," she said quickly at the sudden look of fear that crossed Willow's face.
"No, it was just so -" Willow said, unable to find a suitable description.
"It's okay. You're safe now," Tara said.
"No, I'm not," Willow said softly, her eyes growing distant. She wasn't safe, herself, and she wasn't safe to be around. Not now, not with the new demon thing and the magick she couldn't stop. "I had some kind of weird vision-y thing," Willow said slowly, before Tara could comment. "I threw power at it without even meaning to, and then I fell. I felt so weak and kinda' drained," Willow tried to explain. "It leaned over me, looking at me with its big yellow eyes, and I just thought 'this is it - I'm done.'"
Tara's heart clenched at the words, the thought of losing Willow like that stealing her breath. Before she could speak, Willow went on.
"I asked it what it was, or where it came from, or something like that, and then I was somewhere else."
"Somew-where else?" Tara asked, her brow furrowing, her fingers entwining with Willow's, the smooth warm skin and the connection reassuring her that Willow was going to be all right.
"Yeah, like a village or something. On a hill, in a circle of stones. Only it wasn't me - I was in somebody else, and it was like I was just kinda' watching. And the demon thing was there, trying to get into the circle, and Angel was there, fighting the demon. I, umm…" Willow said, her voice catching. "I think I was the bad guy. I think I was summoning something big."
"Angel? W-what else do you remember?" Tara asked, knowing this was important somehow, but wishing she could spare Willow from recounting it.
"A portal kind of thing was opening up, and I was chanting in some language I didn't know. Angel ran away when the demon was winning. My hair was the wrong color, but I guess it wasn't, 'cuz it wasn't really me, huh?" Willow asked, looking anywhere but at Tara. "It was darker, but still red. And the portal was all yellow, and there was a man in there. He was stuck and angry and he wanted out, and I think I was trying to help him."
"But you think he was a bad guy?" Tara asked.
Willow nodded, then frowned, unsure. The magick she had been casting hadn't felt dark. Maybe the guy was just some poor soul trapped somewhere? "Maybe. I don't know. Maybe he was a good guy and I was helping him. Maybe the demon was trying to stop me. My eyes were blue," she said, the inconsequential detail popping into her mind. "Like yours."
"Then what happened?"
"The portal closed up, and then I was back. I didn't want to die," Willow said, her eyes watering. "Not like that. Not when -" she said, her throat closing on the words. Not when Tara was so angry and hurt. She cleared her throat. "I told it to go away, and it did."
"It, umm… it obeyed you?" Tara asked, fear filling her eyes.
"Baby, are you afraid of me?" Willow asked in a small voice, a look of infinite hurt on her face.
"I - I," Tara stammered, looking down.
"No, don't answer that," Willow said, tears welling up and spilling over. ">I'm< afraid of me right now. I don't know what's happening. I have so many questions, but I'm afraid of the answers."
Tara's face mirrored the miserable look on Willow's, but she said nothing.
"I should go," Willow said suddenly, sitting up and wincing as her body protested.
"Go?" Tara asked incredulously.
"My parents are out of town. I'll be by myself, and that's probably safest," she reasoned.
"But you're hurt," Tara protested, pushing Willow back down.
"Yeah, I am. But at least it's just me right now, and not anybody else."
"Stay tonight," Tara insisted. "Just, go to sleep, and we'll talk in the morning."
Willow nodded, her heart telling her to stay as her mind was telling her to go.
"Get some rest," Tara said, her voice softening. "I'm going to go help with the research."
Willow listened to Tara's footsteps down the stairs, her mind racing. Had she accidentally unleashed something last night? No, she couldn't have. She had run into those vampires, but she hadn't cast anything new. And she would have known if anything had gone wrong. No, she hadn't summoned anything. But why did it obey her? Why did it like her magick? Why had the dark energy come to her, without her call?
Tara walked into the living room, surprised to see Xander and Anya actually researching and not using the alone time for an impromptu make-out session.
"Anything?" she asked, sitting on the couch and grabbing a book.
"Not yet. Coffee?" Xander offered, moving to stand.
"Yes, actually, that'd be nice," Tara said, a grateful smile crossing her features. The last few days had taken a toll, and she was suddenly exhausted, the emotional outpouring of the days catching up with her.
"How is Willow?" Anya asked as Xander left the room.
"She's shaken up. And she's scared," Tara confided, frowning. Her eyes fell on the table, a large pile of pens in different colors lying about haphazardly. Anya picked up a pen and started writing in a notebook.
"What's that?" Tara asked.
"Oh, well, we figured Giles is so good at research because he's British and boring, and Willow's good at research because she takes notes in colors," Anya said, proud of her reasoning. "I didn't think I'd be British or boring anytime soon, so I thought I'd give the pens a try," she finished earnestly.
"Is it helping?" Tara asked, curious as to whether or not anyone but Willow could make sense of multi-colored notes.
"Well, I wrote down the description Xander gave of the demon in red, and the names of any demons that meet all the criteria also in red. Demons that are close are in purple, and demons that have one or two similar characteristics in black. Any reference to a demon enjoying being hit with dark magick gets in blue."
"What do you have so far?" Tara asked, accepting the notebook when Anya simply handed it over. She read over the description, making mental notes so she knew what she was looking for, then looked at the rest of the writing. She stifled a helpless grin as she saw the remainder of Anya's notes.
Little hearts and the occasional "X+A" littered the page. "Nothing yet, huh?" she asked.
"No," Anya sighed. "Willow always makes it look so easy," she complained.
Xander came in, carrying a mug of coffee and setting it in front of Tara.
"Thank you," she said, taking a sip.
"You're welcome. And Willow makes what look easy?" he asked, flopping into his chair and pulling his book back onto his lap.
"Making notes and bizarre connections out of thin air," Anya said petulantly.
"Willow's really smart," Tara said earnestly. "She's book kind of smart."
"And I'm just dumb," Xander said, frowning at the pages and turning the book over. "Cave man kind of dumb."
"I have some knew information," Tara said slowly.
"Oh! I can add it to my notes!" Anya said eagerly, picking up a handful of pens and her notebook.
Tara related Willow's description of the demon, and the details of her vision, winding up her tale in a room full of a heavy silence.
"Wow," Xander finally said. "Do you think that was a real vision? Like that thing was in LA with Angel earlier?" he asked.
"It's more likely it was something that happened in the past," Anya said slowly, her voice thoughtful. "She asked where it came from, or what it was … it was probably the first incarnation of the demon."
"First incarnation?" Tara asked, glad someone had a clue as to what was going on.
"Well, not incarnation, like re-incarnation. Not for demons, anyway. It was the first time that demon was here, and not in Hell," she finished. "At least, that's the likeliest explanation. And Willow probably has a link to that witch, like a past life, or an ancestor or something."
"Past life? How long ago did this happen?" Xander asked, frowning.
"Well, she used the term 'village'," Anya said, looking over at Tara for confirmation. Tara nodded. "That's a pretty old term, which makes me believe it was probably not a modern kind of place. And Angel is two-hundred years old, so it could have been anytime between now and then."
"Are we sure it was really Angel?" Xander asked after a moment. "Maybe Angel was … I dunno, symbolic? Metaphoric? Kinda' a 'not really Angel, but meaning something else' kind of thing? I mean, are we sure this whole vision whatever is right?"
"No, we're not," Tara said, leaning back and sighing.
"It's not a Demon!" Anya said suddenly, leaning forward and shoving books aside. "Where did you put your books, Tara?" she asked, lifting things and shuffling things.
"What books?" Tara asked.
"The ones on Sources," Anya said.
"Oh, umm…" Tara said, moving things around until they found the right stack. Anya grabbed the book she was looking for, flipping through it.
"A-Ha!" she said, finding what she was looking for. "It's not a demon, it's a construct," she said.
"Like … umm… like a golem?" Tara asked, taking the book Anya held out to her.
"Basically. It's something a denizen of Hell makes that isn't really a demon, so it has an easier time crossing over into this realm. When a demon or something can't get here, it can send a construct, which is fueled by it's dark power … hence the Sources reference … and does its bidding here," she said proudly.
"So it just gets sent here?" Tara asked.
"No, it has to be summoned," Anya said, moving to sit next to Tara and pointing out the proper passage.
Tara read the words, her mind reeling. Had Willow summoned this thing? Was that why it obeyed her commands?
"W-wait," Tara said, reading further. "It can get through a standing portal, if the portal is weakened," she pointed out. "A Hellmouth would certainly work."
"Well, how do you kill it?" Xander asked.
"You don't," Anya said. "You send it back."
"How?" Xander asked.
"You either UnSummon it, or you push it back through the weakened portal. You can chop it up into little bits, making it unable to really do anything, but the pieces will try to find each other, and it won't really die," Tara said absently, reading the passage further. "The more powerful the demon, the more powerful the construct," she noted, murmuring out loud.
"Are we sure it was the Hellmouth? I mean, what can weaken a Hellmouth?" he asked.
"There are all sorts of spells that are like … they're like a key," Anya explained. "The Hellmouth is a locked door, and unlocking it means a construct can get through."
"So what sent it? And what unlocked it?" Tara asked, looking up.
"Are we working under the assumption that it's the same construct?" Xander asked.
"Are we sure it wasn't Willow?" Anya asked, silence descending on the room as everyone looked at each other.
"She w-wouldn't," Tara protested, her tone indicating she wasn't really sure of that fact.
"No, not Willow," Xander said firmly. "She wouldn't let a big demony construct thing out."
"Well, not on purpose," Anya conceded. "But she's been playing with dark magicks, and who knows what might have gone wrong?"
"She would have felt it go wrong," Tara said, her confidence growing. "She would have told us if she had a spell go wrong like that."
"Would she?" Xander asked sadly, his face etched in lines of worry. "She hasn't really been herself lately."
"No, she would have told me when she told me about the vision," Tara said. "She wouldn't keep a secret that would hurt us, not like this. Not when this thing could kill someone."
Xander nodded, satisfied with the answer. He hated doubting Willow, hated that there was a part of him that didn't exactly trust her anymore.
"Why don't we call Angel?" Anya asked, breaking the silence. "We could ask him about the vision."
"'Hey, Angel … did you ever fight some demon guy outside a circle of stones with a witch there who may or may not have been Willow in a past life, or one of her ancestors?'" Xander said, mimicking holding a phone.
"Actually, that's a good idea," Tara said, nodding at Anya.
"So, which was it? Past life, or ancestor?" Xander said cheerfully, trying to change the subject. He could tell they were going to make him call. He just knew he was going to have to make the call.
"Probably a past life," Tara said thoughtfully, missing the insincerity of Xander's question. "Willow doesn't have any Celtic ancestry, I don't think, and standing stones are a very Celtic thing."
"Oh, just make the call, Xander," Anya said, frowning at him.
"Giles! We could call Giles," Xander offered. Anya leveled him with a look, handing over the phone.
"I don't know the number?" Xander asked. Anya handed him the rolodex next to the phone.
Sighing, Xander looked up Angel Investigations, then dialed the number. Tara and Anya looked at him expectantly as he listened to the phone ring.
"Hi, Cordy. Can I talk to Angel, please?" Xander said pleasantly. "This is Xander," he said incredulously, frowning. "Look, Cordelia, this is important," he said. There was a pause, then he sighed heavily. "Yes, I'm still dating Anya. And don't call her that. In fact," he went on, his voice taking on a certain relish, "we're engaged to be married."
Anya had frowned, barely restraining herself from snatching the phone away and telling Cordelia she couldn't have Xander when she had realized who had answered the phone. Her frown faded away, though, at Xander's words, and a beaming smile crossed her features.
"Angel! Xander," Xander said, smiling back at Anya. "Look, we've got a situation here," he said after a moment. "No, no - that's okay. I just had a question," Xander responded to something Angel said. "Yeah, well, we've got this demon thing none of us have seen before, and Willow had a, kinda' a vision, I guess," Xander said.
"It was definitely a vision," Anya said helpfully as Xander tried to listen to her and the phone at the same time.
"No, I know you're not vision guy, but you were IN the vision," Xander explained. "Willow was on some hill, in a circle of stones, with this big ugly demon construct thing running up the hill, and you close behind. You and the demon fought, some portal thing opened, Willow was chanting, then it closed," Xander said, hitting all the important bits.
Xander paused, frowning. "No, this isn't a joke."
Alarm bells went off in Tara's head at Xander's words, and she paled, leaning forward and watching him intently.
"She's out patrolling while we do some research," Xander responded to Angel's question. He listened, the blood draining from his face.
"Oh, God," Xander said, his jaw hanging open after a long moment. "Are you serious? Because I'm not laughing." Xander listened closely, holding up a hand to forestall any questions. "Hold on, let me grab a pen," he said, gesturing for Anya's notebook and a pen. He flipped to a clean sheet and started writing as Angel spoke.
"I don't like this," Anya whispered, leaning in to bump her shoulder against Tara's.
"I don't either," Tara said, her gaze focused on Xander.
"So what does this guy want? How do we stop him?" Xander asked. "No, don't you get all gloom and doom broody on me," Xander said, his voice rising. "Because we WILL stop him," he insisted, his jaw clenching as he listened to Angel's response. "Then we'll find her," he said, his voice clipped. "No, I don't know how! We just will!"
Xander shook his head as Anya opened her mouth to ask a question. Tara took Anya's hand, clutching it as they waited for Xander to get off the phone and tell them what was going on.
"I appreciate the offer," Xander said, the anger draining from his voice. "If we definitely need you, we'll call again, and I'll let everyone know." Xander nodded as he listened. "And Angel? Thanks," he said, hanging up the phone, his body still and his hand still on the receiver.
"W-what is it?" Tara asked.
"It's bad," Xander said, pausing to formulate his words. "Very bad."
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