Starcatcher: Thanks for the feedback, most of the story is written, so I was sending out a bait to see if anyone was interested in reading my story. Here's the next piece.
Title: Atlantic Antics
Author: willowntara4ever
Rating: R (eventually NC-17)
Disclaimer: Josh Whedon owns the characters. I just imagine different lives for them
Feedback: Please
Notes: Love story with a little child created angst ; "Ima" mother in Hebrew
Spoilers: None
Thoughts in
italics
Atlantic antics
Truro Tales: Part two
Willow’s memories were flooding through her when she felt a presence come up behind her.
“Where is Lila?” asked the woman.
“She crashed. That was probably more swimming than she has ever done in her life. Anna?”
“My parents took her off to buy a kite. D..do you mind if I sit down”
“Go ahead, said Willow absentmindedly, and then she realized her abruptness, and countered with “Please do. I’d love to talk more with you.”
They sat there quietly for awhile, both gazing at the sand and the water .
“So…you used to come here when you were a kid?”
“Yup, from the time I was seven until I was fourteen.”
“I’ve been coming every year since I was eight.”
“That is quite a coincidence.”
The goddess picked up the book that she had brought and began reading.
Willow took this as a hint that the conversation was ending, so she picked up her book as well.
“What are you reading?”
“Just some sappy women’s beach book. You?”
“I’m reading a novel about the Cape. I heard that it was good.”
“Is it good so far?”
“I haven’t really gotten into it yet. Is yours good?”
“It’s ok, the plot is predictable, but the characters are funny.”
The sun was starting to go down, and Willow didn’t feel that her large hat was needed. She removed it and put it beside her. As she was sitting up, she saw the woman looking at her hair.
“Is there something wrong, do I have seaweed or something stuck in my hair?”
“No…I…I…red hair.. You know…thinking about it…your daughter has red hair…but your daughter she has hazel eyes right ?"
“Yes”
“My friend had green…”
“Excuse me.”
“I had a vacation friend when I was a kid. She had red hair like your daughter, but she had green eyes. She looked a lot like your daughter.”
Willow removed her sunglasses and looked the woman in the face.
The woman seemed speechless when she saw Willow’s deep green eyes. She thought to herself,’
It can’t be. What would the chances be of us ending up in the same place twenty something years later.’
“Willow?”
The woman took off her sunglasses as well, and Willow found herself looking into the clearest blue eyes that she had ever seen. In fact she had only seen this color eye in two people, Ra, and Ra’s father.
“Ra?”
“I go by Tara now”
“I still go by Willow, which sort of makes sense seeing that Willow is my name. Not that changing your name is odd, I just still go by Willow…Sorry, still babble.”
“Do I make you nervous?”
“No” lied Willow, ”um... So… how have you been?”
“Pretty good, wow, it has been a long time since I saw you.” Tara paused and did the mental calculations.” Has it really been twenty-five years?”
“That sounds about right” responded Willow.
There was a pause, and then Tara asked, “Why didn’t you ever come back?”
“My grandfather had a stroke and had to be put in a convalescent home. He died a few months later and my grandmother followed him the next month. I think she died of a broken heart. Once they were gone, my parent’s idea of a family vacation was an educational trip, not relaxing on the beach. They think that relaxation is a waste of valuable time."
“Their loss I guess”, said Tara.
“Yup, How are your parents?”
“Great, you can see them when they get back to the cottage. They often bring up our friendship and wonder what you are up to. They wondered what why I stopped writing to you.
“What did you tell them?”
“At first, I just said we’d drifted apart due to our age differences, but later on I told my mom about what had happened that night.”
“What did she say?”
“She said she wished I’d stuck with you. She hated my current partner.”
“Your….”sputtered Willow.
“Yup, you might have been the first girl I kissed, but you definitely were not the last.”
“Ooh, gross kissing Yuck” said Lila who had just come out of the cabin and walked up to the women. “Why are you talking about kissing?”
The two looked at each other and Willow said, “It’s just something adults talk about.”
“Mommy and Ima used to kiss. Then Mommy started kissing Sandra. Ima doesn’t kiss anyone but me.”
“
Can the world just swallow me up whole, right now” thought Willow.
Willow could feel her entire body turn red.
“Oh…” said Tara laughing at the look on Willow’s face. She was very happy to discover that not only was Willow a lesbian, but she was single.
Just as she was saying this, Anna came running up to Tara and told her that her parents were waiting for her in the car.
“Well, I guess I better get going. I’ll see you later?” said Tara.
“Most likely” said Willow attempting to appear nonchalant, but feeling very excited that she would get to talk more with Tara. She got up and went into the cabin with Lila. They got ready and they went out to a nearby restaurant to eat and then went and played a round of miniature golf. The sun was setting when they got home, and Willow put Lila to bed. After she was asleep, Willow went out onto the deck in front of the cabin to gaze at the beach in the moonlight.
She was sitting, thinking about all the things that had occurred that day, when Tara came up and sat down in a neighboring lounge chair. They both were tongue tied, and neither knew how to start the conversation. Finally Willow broke their silence and asked,”Did you ever think about that night?”
“Every year that I have come here, and lots of time in between,” admitted Tara. “I don’t think you ever forget your first kiss….Yes, I have thought about it often. Do you ever wonder what would have happened if our families hadn’t called us at that moment, or if I hadn’t freaked?”
They sat there in silence continuing to look out at the bay and not each other.
They made small talk about new shops in town and their view from the deck. There was a long silence.
Finally, Willow interrupted the silence, “You know I’ve thought about it a lot, and even dreamed about it a few times, but I don’t think that anything more would have happened than did. Maybe a few more ‘smoochies’, but if that had happened I think I would have been even more confused. For a long time, I wondered if I had just dreamed it up.”
“Huh?”
“Oh I was answering a question you asked about five minutes ago. About what would have happened if our families hadn’t called us. I often have pieces of more than one conversation topic in my brain at a time.
“I thought it was a dream too. I had imagined doing it so many times during the prior year, and then I did it, and it felt so good, but then I got so confused…You know I really regret that note I sent you. I tried to get in touch with you afterwards and apologize but my letters came back. I even GOOGLED you, but believe it or not there is more than one Willow Rosenberg. I couldn’t figure which one you were, and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself making cold calls.
Willow was very surprised that Tara had ever thought of her after that night. She felt anxious and blurted out, “So what do your parents think you are doing out here? “
“Talking to you.”
“They didn’t recognize me did they? “
“Uh, huh, my mother recognized you immediately, and she said you must be Willow Rosenberg.”
“So when you walked up to me you already knew?”
“Sort of, but I couldn’t believe that she was right. When I saw Lila playing in the sand, I thought I was having a hallucination. She looks just like you when you were younger.”
“Are you saying I don’t look like that anymore?”
“No, you look better, way better”
Did I just say that aloud? “Nn..ot that Lila isn’t c.c..ute, or good looking, or… you know what I am saying,” stammered Tara. “
“Stuttering. Do I make you feel nervous?” asked Willow.
“Not nervous, just… I’m not going to get myself out of this am I?” Tara laughed.
“Nope” said Willow. She lightly touched Tara’s hand, but quickly moved it away when she sensed Tara’s tensing up. Willow felt the familiar electricity from the touch. She looked over at Tara to see if anything was happening to her, but she appeared deep in thought. It seemed like she couldn’t look Willow in the eye.
Gee Rosenberg, be forward much. You haven’t seen this woman for twenty-five years. It’s not like you can just be touching all over her like you did when you were kids.
Oh my goddess, thought Tara, she just grabbed my hand, and I pulled away, Why did I pull away, I’ve been wanting to take her hand since I first saw her, and she comes toward me and what do I do, I pull away. She’s going to think…. Maybe she’s not going to think anything. Maybe she’s still someone who touches her friends. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything
As Tara was looking off, Willow found herself admiring Tara. She was more than beautiful. The lights of the cabins were reflecting off her long blond hair, and the button-down shirt she was wearing accentuated her curves. She was wearing shorts and no shoes and Willow noted that she still had legs that seemed to go on forever.
Tara shuddered.
“Are you cold?”
Far from it, thought Tara. “N..No. I just got a little chill. It is really nice out here.”
“Yeah, I had forgotten how nice the nights were here. I think that the Cape may have the best weather in the world; warm in the daytime and cool, but not cold in the evening. I bet that they never have to use air conditioning.”
“Which is good for us seeing the cabins don’t have air conditioning,” exclaimed Tara.
“Yeah, they really aren’t any different than they were when we were kids.”
“I think our cabin is exactly the same from that time. I swear that not even the pictures on the wall have changed. Well… Speaking of cabins, I should probably get back to my own. Anna has been waking up really early.”
Willow felt disappointed that Tara was leaving, but tried to not show it as she said, “Well, sleep tight. Maybe we will see each other in the morning.”
We sure will if I have anything to say about it, thought Tara.
Tara walked back to her cabin and ignored her mother’s questioning gaze as she quickly got ready for bed and curled up into the single bed in the room that she shared with Anna. She had a hard time getting to sleep and when she did, she had disturbing dreams.
Meanwhile, Willow remained outside looking at the water. She felt sort of sad and didn’t really understand why. She decided that the only way to ameliorate the situation was to go to bed. After doing her night time tasks, she lay down in her queen size bed and realized that it felt enormous.
The morning came too early for Willow. It seemed like the sun couldn’t have been barely up when Lila was jumping on top of her mother begging her to wake up so they could go back to the beach.
“It is too early, go back to bed,” said a sleepy Willow.
“No it’s not. I’m hungry.”
“Ok, Ok.“ said Willow as she dragged herself out of her bed and into the living room of their small cottage. “What do you want for breakfast?”
“Muffins.”
“Muffins? We don’t have any muffins. We have cereal and we have toast and jelly.”
“I want muffins. I saw some really nice muffins at the store. Can’t I just run there and buy them? I’ll be right back.”
“So do you think you aged two years overnight?”
“Come on Ima. You saw that it wasn’t too far. Please….””
“No. Right now it is cereal or toast.”
“I’m not hungry” pouted Lila.
“I thought you said you were hungry?”
“Just for muffins.”
“Well, I guess you’ll stay hungry. I’m going to make some tea.”
“Can I go outside on the deck at look at the beach?”
“You can look, but don’t go down to the sand until I come out with my tea.
"Understand?”
“Yes. Ima”
Meanwhile at Tara’s family cottage, a similar situation was occurring, except in their household they decided that Tara’s mother and Anna should go to the store to get some donuts and coffee. As they walked by Lila, Anna asked if she wanted to come with them.
Lila ran back into the cabin shouting “Anna and her grandmother are going to the store? Can I go there and get some muffins, Please….”
Willow looked out the screen door and saw Tara’s mother. Willow had a flash of what Tara would look like in twenty years. She grabbed some money from her pocketbook and went outside. As soon as she got through the door she found herself enveloped in a big hug.
“Willow Rosenberg, I am so happy to see you again. How have you been?”
“How does Anna’s grandmother know you, Ima, and why is she hugging you?” asked Lila.
“I have known your Ima since she was your age. Your great grandparents used to take her here every summer,” said the elder Mcclay.
“Yeah, I know. Ima’s always talking about how much fun she had here. That’s why we decided to have our vacation here this year. Mommy always hated the beach, she said that the feeling of sand between her toes was disgusting, and then Ima said she didn’t have enough money, but then she got some.”
Willow looked at Lila, silently willing her to stop talking.
“I see that the babbling gene is strong.”
“Yup, she learned it from the best.”
“Well, if I don’t go get some coffee, both my husband and Tara are going to be mighty grumpy. Is it Ok for Lila to come with us?”
“Sure. Here is some money. She was begging me to buy some muffins.”
“Bran or Blueberry ?”
“Both” said Lila. “I like both.”
“I trust you to pick the best looking ones.”
“Why don’t you mosey on down to our cabin, I am sure that my husband and Tara would love to see you.” said Mrs. Maclay with a glint in her eye.
Anna and Lila bolted off with Mrs. Maclay close behind them.
Willow pondered whether she should go over to the Maclay’s cabin. She didn’t want to appear to be too forward, and she wasn’t sure what she had to say to Tara. She was feeling sheepish. She didn’t need to think about it long. She put on her shoes and turned around to lock the cabin door. As she was turning around to walk away, she bumped right into Tara.
The two stared at each other, both flushing. ‘
Oh my goddess she is beautiful and I just bumped into her breasts, her soft wonderful breasts. Wow, I remember that she was beautiful when she was sixteen, but that is nothing compared to how she looks now’ thought Willow.
Tara looked at Willow and saw her ogling her chest. It made her feel very shy. She put her arms over her chest and began to stammer. “Um… I… I just…um … Did you see my m.m.mom? She said that she was gg..going to stop by your cabin if the door was open and ask if you wanted some coffee, bb..but I see that you have a cup of t..tea.” said Tara.
Willow noted Tara’s stutter, a sure sign of her nervousness. She tried to allay her fears and replied “Yeah, Lila got her way and was able to finagle herself a muffin. She loves going to the store. Do you remember how much we liked it when we were kids?”
“I saved up my allowance all year so that I could buy whatever I wanted. “
“So you want to sit on the lounge chairs and wait for them to come back?” said Willow reopening her door.
“Sounds like a good idea.” They both sat down. Once again there was an awkward silence. There was so much to say and ask, but where to start.
“So you’ve been coming here every year?”
“Yup. I don’t know any other vacation. My ex used to complain bitterly that we had to come. Toward the end, Anna and I just came and she stayed home.”
‘Where is home?”
Providence. Yours?”
“Portland”
"Maine of Oregon?"
Please say Maine, Please…Please.
Maine.
'Yes, score' thought Tara. “How did you end up there?”
“I went to MIT for undergraduate and graduate school. Once I got my Ph.D. I got a job teaching at Northeastern. I met my ex, her family lives in Maine, we moved there."
“What do you do?”
“I’m a chemistry professor. You?”
“A therapist.”
“I can see that, you always were easy to talk too, and you had great charisma and were so popular.”
“I wasn’t popular”
“Sure you were, remember the last year that we saw each other, you practically had a swarm of boys following you everywhere you went.”
“Um, I think it had more to do with my, how do you say, endowments, than my personality.”
“No.” I don’t think so.
“Yes”, replied Tara, “I know where they were looking, and what they were trying to touch. “
They were silent for a little longer, then Tara asked, “Willow? Can I tell you something?”
“Sure," stated Willow.
“I am really sorry that I treated you so badly that summer. I just was so confused, and I thought if I just stayed away from you and spent time trying to attract the boys, then everything would be Ok.”
“Oh, I thought that it was our age difference. What sixteen year-old wants to spend time with a fourteen year-old? A geeky immature one at that...”
“You were neither geeky nor immature, I wanted to be with you, it just scared me.”
“I guess I was too clueless to be scared. Boy I wish that I knew then what I know now. It would have made life so much easier. But it’s not like being gay was so accepted in the mid 80’s. I hadn’t even thought about it. I just figured I was a late bloomer and that I would eventually start feeling stuff for the guys at school. I have to admit that after that night, I was more aware of what was going on, and it cleared up a bunch of incongruities for me. Not that I was ready to act on it, but I understood.”
“When did you act on it?”
“Huh.”
“Forget about it.” said Tara feeling embarrassed.
“No, what?”
"It was a personal question."
“And….”, said Willow expectantly.
“I just wanted to know how long it took for you to get into a relationship. I wasted a lot of time trying to date guys and hoping my feelings for girls would go away.”
“Well, I was in what I now know was a relationship during my senior year in high school. We both knew what was going on, but neither of us wanted to admit it. We were ‘best friends who loved each other’. I swear some of the mind games could have been avoided if we had turned that intellectual passion into some real passion. That was definitely one of my regrets. Though, I don’t think I was ready to be involved with anyone yet. I.. I had my first real relationship when I was in college.
“So did you ever date a guy?”
“One, my freshman year in college. His name was Oz, and he was in a band. He paid attention to me, said I was pretty. But his true love was his music and he didn’t really have any time for me. Looking back, he was more of a cover than anything else. We didn’t do much. He was the first person I had sex with. It set the bar really low for anyone else. He had no idea how to make it pleasurable for anyone other than himself.”
“I had a couple who were like that. I have to admit that I ended up sleeping with several guys to try to convince myself that I didn’t want to be with a woman.”
“I guess it didn’t work.”
“Nope. The first time I was w.w..with a woman, I knew that it was right for me."
“I had a similar experience. Kissing a girl was 110% better than a boy.
“Eww, are you talking about kissing again!” said Lila who had snuck up on Willow and Tara. “Are you going to kiss Anna’s mom?”
“Why would you ask that?” said Willow feeling embarrassed.
“Just wondering, you’ve been broked up from Mommy for a long time and you haven’t been kissing anyone. So I thought maybe you would kiss Anna’s mom”
“That makes sense.” Stated Tara.
“You have great timing kiddo,” said Willow trying to get out of this awkward situation and not hearing that Tara didn't seem adverse to the idea of kissing Willow. "So what kind of muffins did you buy?”
“Two of each.”
“Two, I didn’t give you enough money for four muffins. What do I owe you Mrs. Mcclay?”
“Oh nothing dear. I am sure that everything will eventually come out even. Now I better get to my cabin and get this coffee to my husband. Tara here is yours. Just like you like it, lots of milk and two sugars.” Mrs. Maclay walked off with the children trailing behind her.
“Your mom is still really nice.”
“She sure is.”
“So what are you and Anna planning to do today?”
“Well, we were thinking about going to Race Point with a picnic, and then going into town for dinner. You?”
“I was thinking more of going on a Dune Tour, then sitting by the bay until dinner time.”
“That sounds like fun too. Well..., I probably should check if there is anything my mom needs help with. Talk to you later?” asked Tara as she got up and walked back toward her parent’s cottage.
Willow sat in her lounge chair, wondering what was going to happen now. Her quiet was quickly ended by Lila coming over, plopping herself down in Willow’s lap and announcing that she was going to go to Race Point with Anna.
“Were you invited?”
“Anna invited me.”
‘Does Anna drive?”
“No silly, she’s only eight.”
“So how is she going to take you to Race Point?”
“Her grandpa is going to take us.”
“We already have plans. I am sure that Anna and her family don’t want an extra child tagging along on their family vacation.”
“What don’t we want?” asked a tall gentleman with the same eyes as both Tara and Anna.
Willow wondered what kind of powers the Maclays had to always come across her when she was making a comment about one of them.
“Lila was just telling me that Anna had invited her along with you all to the beach, and I was explaining that you were having family time and didn’t need an extra person coming along.”
“It reminds me of a certain little girl who always wanted to tag along a long time ago.”
“Was I really that blatant?” asked Willow.
“Yes. But you were always welcome, just as this little one is welcome to come along. I think Anna has more fun when there is another kid around. You should come too. Remember how much fun we used to have?”
“Yes. My grandparents loved to be here at the bay, but didn’t like all the work that it took to go to the ocean.”
“So it is settled, we all will go to Race Point together.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive” said the older man.
“If so, I’d better go over to your cottage and see what I have to add to the lunch.”
Willow walked over to the Maclay’s cabin. As she was approaching the door, she saw Tara and her mother working together to make sandwiches. They looked so comfortable with each other; like two versions of the same person. Actually it looked like triplicate, because at their feet was Anna putting snacks in the large cooler. Willow felt jealous of this easy camaraderie. Willow had always felt very awkward and formal with her mother. She didn’t think they ever worked together like this family. She knocked on the cabin door.
"So did my husband convince you to come along?”
“It didn’t take much convincing. I was coming over to ask what I can bring to the picnic.”
“I think we have everything taken care of. You can bring stuff next time.”
'Next time, that had a certain ring to it’ thought Willow.
“Ok, I guess I’ll get Lila and get ready. When were you thinking of leaving.”
“As soon as we get this all together.” said Mrs. Maclay.
They all got ready and left for Race Point. Willow felt like a child again when she was waved through the booth and told that the gentleman in front of her had paid her admission. They all parked and brought the toys and food onto the sand and set up their towels. The children were clamoring to go into the water, so Tara took off her cover up and followed the girls into the water. Willow sat there looking at Tara walking to the water. Looking at Tara’s body took her breath away. She had a voluptuous women’s body that was accented very well by the tasteful tankini.
“She is beautiful isn’t she?” said Mrs. Maclay
“Excuse me?”
“I see how you are looking at her.”
Willow felt extremely embarrassed and tried to extricate herself from the situation. She didn’t know what to say. “Um, no. I mean yes. She is beautiful. She has always been so beautiful... “
“You know, looking back, I realize that you looked at her that way when you were a girl. I always thought that it was sort of hero worship, but I guess it was more.”
“I did want to be just like her.”
“You two have always been pretty different, but you complimented each other well.” The two women began reading. A few minutes later, Mrs. Maclay said, “ Willow, I am so happy that you are here. For years I have hoped that Tara would find you again. My husband and I just want her to be happy. She’s had a lot of unhappiness in the last twenty-five years.”
Willow didn’t know what to say to this comment, so she sat there watching Tara, Anna and Lila playing in the surf. Soon it got hot, so Willow stripped off her clothing and ran to the water. They played for a long time. Afterwards they went back to the blanket and had lunch. After lunch, Mrs. Maclay suggested that Willow and Tara go for a walk. Both Anna and Lila wanted to accompany them, but Mr. Mcclay offered to help them build a sandcastle while they waited for their meal to digest, and this appealed to them more than a walk.
They walked and talked about the beach and other inane things. After one particularly long pause, Willow blurted “I think your parents are trying to get us to spend time together?”
“You think?” quipped Tara. “Mom practically pushed us off. While you and Lila were off to the restroom she told me that she is going to invite Lila to come over for dinner with them so that you and I can go into town. She said that she suspects that we have a lot of catching up to do.
“They are really nice people.”
“I know. I don’t know what I would have done without them all these years.”
“You are lucky to have parents that are there for you. My parents just jet in and out. I don’t think we have spent more than two days with them at a time. Lila hardly knows them.”
“That is too bad. Anna totally adores both of my parents. I am so glad that she has grandparents.”
“So what have you been doing for the past twenty-five years?”
‘I can’t believe it has been twenty-five years. I don’t feel like I’m 41.”
“I’m 39, so you must be 41.”
“Don’t rub it in, youngster.” said Tara as she hip bumped Willow.
“Not rubbing anything in , just stating a fact.”
They sat down on a jetty of rocks that were out of the water due to the low tide.
“Well”, started Tara.
“A very deep subject,” laughed Willow.
“Do you want to hear my story or not?”
“Sorry. Go on.”
“Well, as I told you, after that summer I tried to get my preferences out of my system by trying to date and only pay attention to guys. I dated a bunch during my junior year, and went steady with a guy during my senior year. Lots of people thought that we would get married, and I almost did. I figured that if I got married all of the feelings I was having would just go away. Fortunately, my parents insisted that I go to college first. They asserted that if being with him was meant to be, then we’d still be together after I graduated and I would at least have something to fall back on. Well, that relationship didn’t last until Thanksgiving. He decided that he didn’t want to wait, and he met a girl at work. They ended getting married quickly because he got her pregnant. I am still in touch with them. It is so weird, I have an almost nine year-old, and he has a 20 something year old. “
“I have some friends like that too. There is a big difference between having kids in your early 20’s and having them in your 30’s. “
“You said it. I don’t feel like I was ready when I was in my 20’s.”
“Me either” replied Willow.
“So, I came into my own when I was in college. I got involved in the campus feminist group and met a lot of women who identified as lesbian or bisexual. At that time I wasn’t sure which label fit me the best. I hung out with groups of the older students, and sort of had a second adolescence during my first year of college. I didn’t come out to myself until I was a sophomore, and didn’t come out to my parents until I was a junior.
“How did they take it?”
“They were ok with it. My mother cried a bit and my father got sort of quiet. It took them awhile to get used to it, but a few months later they told me that they loved me and would try to give anyone I decided to date seriously a chance. I was single for awhile, and then I got into my first real relationship when I was a junior. We stayed together for about a year, and she’s the first woman I ever made love with. Fast forward to graduate school… another relationship that lasted about two years. We broke up after I came home from my cousin’s wedding and discovered that she and one of my best friends had decided to hook up.”
“I hate when that happens.”
“Yeah right,… well, after that relationship I was single and dated a bunch. I focused on my schooling, I did an internship in Upstate New York. I had a brief relationship during that time with another student, but we couldn’t survive the long distance between us once our internship was over. She was from the New York area, and I wanted to get back to New England. Once I got my Ph.D. I met my most recent ex. We were together for 10 years. Surprise, surprise, about 11 years ago we decided that we wanted kids. She had a bunch of physical problems, so we decided that I’d be the one to get pregnant. It took a while, but finally I got pregnant and had Anna. We used one of our gay guy friends. Anna considers him an uncle. I think after Anna was born it was the beginning of the end. She was really jealous of all the time I spent with Anna. We didn’t agree on parenting, and I guess I should have seen that we were drifting apart. When Anna was about five, she decided that she just didn’t love me anymore. We share custody.”
‘And the last four years?”
“Working, taking care of Anna, spending time with my parents. I just haven’t had much energy for dating.”
“I know that feeling. It is such a drag. I hate meeting new people.”
“Me too.”
“But you’re a therapist. Don’t you have to meet new people all the time?”
“Not really. I work at a long-term residential treatment program for children and adolescents. I have to meet the parents and case managers. But it all is really surface. It’s not like I have to really get to know them. I like kids better. So what about you? What is your story?”
“Nothing as interesting as yours. Basically, went to MIT, got BA, got Ph.D. had a few short relationships. Got job as professor. Had a long term relationship with another professor. Did the whole tenure thing. Decided the next step was having children. Got pregnant first time I was inseminated. We had Lila. She went off on a conference, when she came back she told me she’d been having an affair with one of her students for the last year. I kicked her out, she shacked up with the girl. She has Lila every other weekend and some holidays.”
“Well that was short.”
“Yeah, I am sure I left out stuff. But hey, if I told you everything what would we have to talk about at dinner. We are going to take your mom up on her offer, right?”
“Certainly, speaking of my mother, we probably should get back to them. They love Anna, but their stamina is not what it used to be.”
Tara and Willow walked back to where the kids and Tara’s parents were and continued their fun in the sun. As planned, Mrs. Maclay offered to have Lila over for dinner and suggested that Tara and Willow go into town. Both of them were amazed at how easily their conversation flowed. They walked along the town window shopping until it was time to go home to put the kids to bed. When they got to the Maclay’s cottage, they Lila was very excited about the games that she had learned from the Mcclays and wanted to make sure that all six of them could play the games again soon. Willow brought Lila back to her cabin and helped her get ready for bed. As Willow was drifting off to sleep she began to take inventory of the thoughts, feelings and sensations she was experiencing now that her fantasy of seeing Tara again had become a reality. All she knew for certain was that seeing Tara again made her feel really good.
The four of them spent a lot of the next day together. Anna and Lila built several massive sandcastles, while Tara and Willow sat in adjacent beach chairs, chatted and read. It felt very comfortable and natural. Once again, the Mcclay’s offered to let Willow and Tara go into town together and volunteered to keep Anna and Lila occupied.
Willow and Tara had dinner at a romantic restaurant overlooking the bay. They were given excellent seats that allowed them to watch the boats coming to dock, and the sun setting on the horizon. After dinner, Tara and Willow decided to go to Willow’s favorite store. Willow said she had seen something that she wanted to show Tara. She took her hand and led her over to a group of photographs of the beach. Once they were at the display, Tara did not let go of Willow’s hand. So they continued walking in this store and others hand in hand. After a while, Tara said, “You know I’ve always wanted to do this.”
“Haven’t you window shopped around here before? I know we did when we were kids.”
“No, silly, I always wanted to walk down the street holding hands with a woman. My ex refused to do it the few times we came here. She said that she didn’t want to be obvious.”
“That’s weird. Here, if straight people hold hands it looks odd. This is one of the only places in the world that I think the gay people almost outnumber the straight ones.”
“I know. She just didn’t want to do it I guess.”
“Her loss. You have the softest hands.”
“Thanks, yours are pretty soft too.”
When they returned home to relieve Tara’s parents, they found that Lila had fallen asleep in Anna’s room. Mrs. Maclay suggested that they just leave her there. She winked at Tara and said that she was sure that she and Willow wouldn’t mind having some more time together. Despite the easy camaraderie of the night, they both felt nervous. They decided to take a blanket and some wine out to the beach to enjoy the view. Once they were out on the sand, and had some wine, they both felt more relaxed.
“Can I ask you a question?” asked Tara.
“Sure,” replied Willow.
“What would you do if I kissed you right now?”
“Kiss you back.”
Tara leaned into Willow and their lips met. They both felt like awkward adolescents, however the sensations, rather than being confusing were totally comprehended by the two women.
“Wow” they whispered in unison.
“ I..I didn’t think that anything could ever topple the first, but that was even better. Our first kiss has been the rubric that I have used to judge all other kisses, and none until this one has ever come close. I think I felt that kiss in my toes.”
“I felt it in a lot of other places” said Tara seductively.
If it hadn’t been so dark, Tara would have seen that Willow was blushing from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.
“Wow, it is getting hot in here. Where is the breeze” said Willow fanning herself.
“I think it is rather chilly.”
“Maybe I am having a power surge.”
“You are too young to have them.”
“Ok, what is it? No forget I asked, I know what it is”, Willow reached over and brought her lips back to Tara’s. Their soft kisses changed to deep exploring kisses; the two made out like they were trying to make up for lost time.
Finally they needed to come up for air and the blanket was starting to collect the moisture and sand from the ground. Willow shuttered.
“Are you cold?”
“Um, no.” Willow resumed her exploration of Tara’s face and neck, interspersing her touch with light kisses that became more ardent. After awhile, Tara shifted her body and Willow felt the hard wet sand on her side. This brought Willow back to reality and she suggested that they go inside.
“I’m not as young as I used to be. I have always wondered what it would be like to make out on the beach, now I know that the sand is hard, despite a blanket it’s gritty, and it’s wet.”
“It’s not the only thing that is wet,” Said Tara seductively.
“I can’t believe you said that,” laughed Willow, secretly feeling smug and relieved that she was having that effect on Tara.
They walked to Willow’s cabin. Once they were inside, Willow eyed the small couch in the living area, and then her queen sized bed in the bedroom. Willow noticed that Tara was doing the same thing.
“Would you find me forward if I suggested we go into the bedroom? My days of making out on a couch are behind me.”
“I’m with you sister,” Replied Tara.
They went into the bedroom, kicked off their shoes and lay down on the bed. At first they just talked, but their talk turned into kissing, and their kissing to nuzzling and touching. Willow began kissing Tara’s neck and unbuttoned her shirt to gain access to her shoulders and chest, when she heard a loud knock on the door. Quickly Tara rebuttoned her shirt, and Willow tried to make herself presentable. She found herself face to face with Tara’s mother who took one look at the mussed hair of Willow and smiled.
“Um, sorry. We tried to convince Lila to spend the night, but she insisted that she wanted to come home.” Said Mrs. Maclay.
“I was scared Ima,” said a sleepy Lila. Willow picked her up and brought her to her bed. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow. Meanwhile, Tara’s mother had left, and Tara was standing in the living room.
“I feel like I just got caught making out by my mother.”
“That was because you just got caught making out by your mother” laughed Willow. They kissed goodnight and she left. Both of them had dreams that were full of what they had hoped would happen.
The next day went similarly to the previous one. However instead of Tara’s parents offering to keep the kids at the cottage for dinner, they took the kids into town and left Tara and Willow at the cottage. They had a romantic picnic on the beach. Both of them were on edge because they were not aware of when the Mcclays were going to get home with the kids. Both of them wanted to go back to Willow’s cabin, but they knew they would be tempting fate. Willow looked around the beach and saw that there was no one around. She decided to be daring, and asked, “Can I kiss you again?
“Yes, I’ve been wanting to since dinner.”
“Me too, why didn’t you ask?”
“Aside from the fact we are on a public beach, and the sun just went down… I think that I was worried that you didn’t feel the same way. I was worried that you were regretting last night."
“What made you think that?” asked Willow.
“Well, all day you seemed to not even want to look at me. You were either buried in your book or playing with the kids.
“I couldn’t look at you because I was afraid that everything I was feeling would be totally telegraphed to your parents and our children.” explained Willow. “I felt like if I looked at you too long, I was going to have to drag you off to the dunes and ravish you. “
“Ravish, I’m not sure that I ever have been ‘ravished’”, said Tara.
“Well, you deserve to be ravished.”
“Are you offering?” teased Tara.
“Oh, yes I am, but ravishing takes some time, so it can’t happen until I know that we have some time to ourselves.”
“So are you assuming that I would like to be ravished?”
All of a sudden, Willow got nervous.
'What if she wasn’t reading this situation right. What if all Tara wanted to do was kiss. What if she didn’t even really want to kiss her. Was she rethinking all of this? Had she gotten her wires crossed?
Tara could see all of the wheels spinning in Willow’s head. She leaned over and kissed Willow. She whispered in her ear, “I would love to be ravished by you, Ms. Rosenberg, and I also intend to ravish you.”
'Oh, good', thought Willow.
“Do you think we can afford to take the chance to go back you your cabin?”
“I don’t know. “
Their decision was quickly made for them when they heard two small people running on the boardwalk toward them. Before either of them could catch their breath, both girls were clamoring about wanting to keep spending time together.
“Can I go over and watch a movie at Anna’s cabin, Ima?
“Let’s go over and find out if it is Ok with Anna’s grandparents.”
They walked over and Lila and Anna began watching a movie. Mrs. Maclay suggested that maybe Willow and Tara would like to go sit on the beach or something.”
“Can we come too?”, asked the girls.
“No, let your parents have some alone adult time.” Said Mrs. Mcclay
“They get a lot of alone time together.” Commented Anna.
“Well, they are old friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time.”
“Oh…” replied Anna. Her attention changed to the movie, and she only slightly nodded when Tara gave her a kiss on the head as they left the cabin.
Willow and Tara left and pondered whether they wanted to go to the beach, or to Willow’s cabin. The decision was easily made because the cabin was more comfortable and private. As soon as they entered the cabin and closed the door, their lips were enmeshed. They couldn’t get enough of each other. Quickly, they went into Willow’s bedroom, both knowing what would most likely happen. They stood by the bed. Willow gazed into Tara’s blue eyes. She noted not much of the beautiful blue iris was showing, just dilated pupils. She thought to herself the reason for dilation and imagined that her green eyes were showing a similar cast.
'Put the scientist to sleep Roseberg, just stay in the moment'. Willow said to herself.
They resumed their kissing. Willow realized that she was never going to be able to stay standing, so she suggested that they lay down. Tara laid down on the bed on her back, and brought Willow’s small body on top of her. Their kisses began tentatively again, but soon were raw and demanding. After they paused to catch their breath, Willow began to kiss and lick Tara’s ears, and neck. She nipped at her pulse point and collarbone, and planted light kisses along her neck and shoulder. Willow began to unbutton Tara’s shirt, with each button released, she would nuzzle the skin that exposed. She kissed and sucked the exposed area between her breasts, while lightly stroking Tara’s sides over the shirt.
“You smell so good, like vanilla,” whispered Willow into Tara’s ear as she nipped on the flesh around her earring and flicked the studs in a manner that telegraphed what she would like to do to a similarly small, sensitive area of her body.
“I put on vanilla body lotion. I noticed that it was the scent that you seemed the most interested in when we were in the body oil shop. I also remembered that it was your favorite ice cream flavor.
“How do you remember that kind of thing?”
“I remember a lot about you. I've had fantasies about you and vanilla ice cream.”
“Sounds interesting….
“For another day.”
Willow resumed nuzzling Tara’s chest and stroking her torso. Tara’s hands were similarly caressing any part of Willow’s body that she could reach. Willow began kissing and licking around and under the area covered her bra. She took one of Tara’s nipples into her mouth and sucked, while she lightly touched her other breast over the covering. Tara’s body rose up to press more of her breast into Willow’s mouth.
“Please.”
“Please what” asked Willow.
“Please take my damn bra off. I can’t stand it.”
“My pleasure,” replied Willow. Willow undid Tara’s bra and slowly took it off kissing every bit of skin as it was released. She marveled at Tara’s white breasts. They were beautiful. Tara looked at Willow with passion in her eyes, and Willow resumed her worshipping of Tara’s beautiful, ample bosom. Willow suckled one breast while teasing the other breast’s nipple. Once again, Willow felt Tara’s body press her breast into her mouth until it was full. ‘
Meanwhile, Tara had moved her body so that her thigh was against the center of Willow’s shorts. She found herself lifting her leg to gain friction against the small body on top of her. Willow worried whether Tara would become too aware of her arousal from the heat emanating from her core. Tara began her own exploration of Willow’s neck and with one quick movement tugged at Willow’s tee-shirt. Willow ceased her sucking to allow the shirt to come off. The bra quickly followed and they lay with each other, Willow’s small breasts pressed against Tara’s larger ones.
“This feels so right” murmered Willow.
“Uh, huh” agreed Tara.
Tara flipped Willow over so she was on top. She began to suck one of Willow’s small breasts taking the whole thing into her mouth. She used her tongue to encircle the areola, and tickle the nipple.
Willow was amazed at the sensations going through her body. She had made love hundreds of times, but this felt different. Willow was about to try to ease Tara’s shorts off her body when she heard her daughter’s voice approaching the door.
“Shit” exclaimed Willow.
“What” asked Tara.
“Lila’s coming.”
“Oh,” exclaimed Tara as she grabbed her shirt and began buttoning it up. Willow put her tee shirt back on and went outside to stall her daughter and Mrs. Maclay so that Tara could get put together.
“Where is my mother?” asked Anna, who had accompanied them to the door.
“She’s inside, I think she’s in the bathroom.”
They were standing under the light in front of the cabin. Willow could see Anna examining her in a critical manner.
“You look funny, Why is your hair such a mess?” asked Anna.
“Don’t be rude”, commented Mrs.Maclay.
“I’m just asking, grandma.”
“I’m not sure Anna. I guess the wind must have made it messy. Why aren’t you watching the movie?” said Willow.
“Lila said she was tired and wanted to come home, and I want my Mama to come home.”
“What do you want sweetie,” asked Tara as she came out of the cabin.
“I want you to come back to OUR cabin. You spend too much time with her.” Anna said gesturing to Willow.
“Anna, what has gotten into you?” asked Mrs.MaClay.
“Nothing “, said a petulant Anna.
“Well, obviously Lila is not the only sleepy one. You are down right grumpy,” exclaimed Mrs. Maclay.
“Well, thank you for walking Lila back, I guess we’ll see you tomorrow."
“Goodbye,” said Anna grabbing her mother’s hand.
Tara looked Willow in the eye and her gaze attempted to communicate her disappointment in being interrupted.
Willow brought Lila to her bedroom. She thought that Lila was asleep and was about to get up to go to her own room when she heard a small voice say, Ima are you kissing Tara?”
“Why do you ask sweetie?”
“Anna said that she thought that you were kissing her mom.”
“Did she say anything else?”
“No just things about kissing. I don’t like talking about kissing, I think it is gross.”
“Someday you won’t feel that way.”
“Never,” yawned Lila. “If you are kissing Tara, it’s ok with me. I like her and I like Anna. Goodnight Ima.”
“Good night butterfly.”
Willow sat with Lila until she was sure that she was asleep. When she went outside the cabin, she found Tara sitting in one of the lounge chairs.
“It is much easier to have other adults around. My parents shooed me off and put Anna to bed.”
“I envy you, I’d really like to have someone around to share the burden. She asked me if I kissed you.”
“What did you say?”
“I did the old, why do you ask that ploy, she fell for it.”
“Anna asked me point blank too.”
“What did you say?”
“I asked her if she wanted to know the truth, and when she did, I said yes, I had kissed you.”
“How did she react?”
“She got a little miffed and then she asked if she could call my ex.”
“Do they talk often?”
“Every day.”
“That’s nice. Deborah only calls Lila about twice a week.”
“It’s important to Kristy to talk to Anna daily.”
“Yeah, when Lila’s at Deborah’s I talk to her every night.”
“So what did she say to your ex?”
“Nothing. She just talked about having a new friend and said that I was hanging out a lot with an old friend that I met on the beach.” Once she got off the phone, she said that she likes you and Lila, but she still wishes that I would get back together with her Mom.
“I don’t think that Lila thinks about that much. She doesn’t really remember when we were together and happy.”
“Anna doesn’t either, but she has told me several times that if I have to be gay I should at least stay with her mom.”
“She doesn’t like you being gay?”
“She doesn’t like anything that sets her apart from her friends. Most of her friends’ parents are straight and married, so she wants us to be together.”
“Have you ever thought about it?
“Getting married, no never really wanted to”
“No, getting back with your ex.”
“No way. Getting out of that relationship was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.”
“How ‘bout you. Do you ever think about getting back with your ex?”
“Um, the house would be really crowded, her girlfriend wouldn’t like it, and it would be the stupidest thing I could ever imagine doing. Nope, never.
“Anna gets a little possessive of me at times. It’s just been the two of us for awhile. But she adores Lila, so I think spending time with her will supersede her attempts to keep tabs on me. She asked me why I liked kissing you.”
“What was your answer?”
“Fortunately my father came into the room at that very moment, and I didn’t need to answer. Not that I wouldn’t admit to it, but I think that we need to figure out a united way to tell the girls about our relationship.”
'She is looking at this as a relationship. It’s not just me, and she’s not looking at this as a vacation fling. 'Thought Willow.
Did I just say we were in a relationship? Does she agree?
Willow squeezed Tara’s hand giving the message that she too saw this as a relationship that would eventually need to be explained to the girls.
They sat there quietly holding hands.
“Tara?”
“Yeah, Willow.”
“Can I make a confession.”
“I guess”
“I picked this week, this set of cabins with the small hope that you and your family would still be coming here.”
“Really?”
“Yup.”
“I guess then I should also make a confession.”
“What.”
“Even during the years that I came with my ex. I hoped that you’d be here. Every time I was on the beach and I saw a redhead, I hoped it was you. I’d wonder to myself what I would do if I ever came across you.”
“What did you think you would do?”
Tara blushed. “Well, I sort of..um..imagined that I would do this.” Tara got up, bent over and kissed Willow. They both felt the kiss from their heads to their toes.
“That’s sort of what I imagined too, but there was a little more to it.”
“Mine too. But that is something we will have to table. Right?”
“I guess.”
“I am so happy that I’ve finally found you.”
“Me, too. Well, let’s get back to our respective cabins before we get ourselves in trouble.” The two separated and went to their respective beds.