abarda: I'm glad you liked it and that you didn't think I was rushing it... she's about to get another little life or death push... hope you like it!
Zampsa1975: Yay! I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reading!
DaddyCatALSO: Aww, yay! I'm glad you like it (Had you not been reading this one already?)
love_2003: Good! I'm so glad it's not going too fast... Willow gets another little life or death push in this chapter, so I hope you like it!
Laragh: Aww, the little elephant is so cute! I'm very glad you liked it! Hope you enjoy the new one
I'm off to read your Foamy oneshot! I noticed it when I got on to post this one and almost stopped to read it but I wanted to get this up before I got distracted
Chapter 6 of 15
It was Saturday morning, so Tara had neglected to set an alarm clock, looking forward to sleeping in some, able to enjoy their weekend now that the latest evil had been defeated. She woke up slowly, slightly disoriented as she realized that she wasn’t alone in her bed.
She let her eyes open, finding the sleeping redhead immediately. She couldn’t keep herself from smiling as she realized that there were softly spoken words coming from Willow, but for all appearances she was still sleeping.
Tara laughed quietly, settling back into her pillow as she watched Willow slowly wake up. The redhead’s lips were still moving slowly, mouthing words that didn’t make it out, and Tara found her eyes locked on them, remembering vividly what it had felt like to have them against her own. Her fingers itched to reach over and trace Willow’s features and she deliberately shifted both hands so that they were pinned under her head, denying her desire. It took several long minutes, but finally, green eyes popped open and met hers.
“What?” Willow asked, her voice thick with sleep. “What’s funny?”
“You talk in your sleep,” Tara said softly.
Willow blushed, covering her face with both hands. “Oh no,” she groaned. “I didn’t say anything embarrassing, did I?” she asked, peeking at Tara from between two fingers.
“No,” Tara told her. “You said something about a panda bear,” she giggled, letting one hand slide free to push Willow’s hair behind her ear with two fingers.
“Okay, well, sorry I woke you up,” Willow apologized sheepishly.
Tara shook her head minutely against the pillow. “No problem. It’s not like we didn’t sleep in.” She laughed quietly, leaning up to read the clock over Willow’s shoulder. “It’s almost ten,” she commented, frowning as the digital numbers flickered, the screen going dark as the building’s power went out.
Suddenly, the room trembled around them, books falling over, the floor shaking and the walls creaking on all sides. They exchanged sudden scared glances, the tremors continuing around them as Tara moved as quickly as she could to Willow’s injured side, pulling the witch’s right arm around her shoulders. Willow got the idea quickly, and helped as much as she could, leaning on Tara as she hopped on one leg into the cover of the doorframe of Tara’s closet.
“Are you okay?” Tara asked, seeing that Willow was breathing hard, cold sweat sliding down her temples.
She nodded wordlessly, bracing herself against the cool wood, feeling lightheaded after standing up so quickly. Tara’s eyes were worried, but she didn’t argue, merely brushed damp hair back from Willow’s face.
After a few minutes the tremors eased, and they relaxed slightly. Willow was leaning heavily against the frame of the door, and Tara quickly retrieved her chair for her, the redhead slumping into it wearily.
“Thanks,” she gasped. “Could I use the phone? Buffy, she doesn’t like earthquakes. I should check in.”
Tara retrieved the phone, holding the receiver out to Willow. She punched in the number rapidly, Willow listening to the ringing impatiently. Finally the Slayer answered, and Tara stepped away, trying to give Willow and her friend some privacy.
After a few minutes Willow was off the phone, handing it back to Tara. The blonde played with it idly in her hands, looking around her room at the mild destruction. The power was out, her books were now littering the floor, the painting over her bed was no longer hanging straight, and a few knick-knacks had crashed to the ground, but that seemed to be the extent of the damage.
“So, Buffy doesn’t like earthquakes?” she wondered out loud, distracted by surveying her room.
“Yeah,” Willow agreed. “She’s got a good reason though,” she said. “Last time Sunnydale had an earthquake, she died.”
“What?!?” Tara blurted, realizing belatedly how sharply she’d spoken.
“She drowned. Xander did CPR and brought her back. She was only gone for a few minutes,” Willow said almost defensively.
“What about….?” Tara started to speak, but thought better of it and closed her mouth.
Willow gave her a confused look. “What?” she asked softly, trying to reassure an obviously freaked out Tara. “You can ask me anything.”
“You-you’ve never d-died, have you?” Tara asked, her eyes lingering on a spot somewhere behind Willow.
Willow shook her head. “No, sweetie, I’ve never died,” she said reassuringly.
“Good,” Tara breathed, her eyes meeting Willow’s. “I don’t like the idea that you might have ever been hurt worse than this.”
Willow shook her head again, smiling softly. “Nope. Buffy takes good care of me. She wouldn’t let anything get me.” She snorted. “She even takes on guilt for things she couldn’t have possibly stopped,” she stated, flicking the rail of her chair so that it made a metallic ringing sound.
Tara smiled sadly as she looked at the chair. “You’ll be out of there soon,” she said, her eyes lingering on Willow’s broken leg.
“Hey.” Willow’s soft voice drew her attention, and she looked up to the redhead’s face. “Come here,” Willow requested, holding one hand out. Tara put the phone down in the cradle on her desk and moved to take Willow’s hand, dropping to her knees in front of the chair so that they were at the same level.
Her free hand found Willow’s knee without conscious thought from her to do so. “Are you feeling okay?” Tara asked tenderly.
“I’m fine, I just wanted you to come closer,” she stated, smiling shyly.
“Willow…” Tara started to speak, but stopped when Willow’s free hand found her cheek.
“Tara, I get it, and I’m going to think about what you said, but it doesn’t change that being around you makes me feel better, makes everything feel better,” Willow said, her eyes focused on her own fingers as they slipped through Tara’s hair.
Tara let her eyes slip closed as Willow’s fingers moved back up to the top of her head, combing through her hair again in one long stroke.
“Buffy mentioned some party at Porter dorm, celebrating surviving the quake,” Willow said quietly.
Tara laughed. “That’s pretty fast party planning.”
“Well, you know how they are with the parties over there,” Willow agreed. “Anyway, Buffy mentioned maybe meeting Riley over there later, and I was wondering if maybe you would want to go, you know, with me…”
Tara’s eyes fluttered open and she blinked in surprise. Willow was already ready to argue with her protests that anything resembling a date wouldn’t be appropriate at the moment, and she could see it in her eyes. “As your friend, I’ll go to the party with you and Buffy,” Tara agreed carefully.
Willow grinned triumphantly. “We are friends, so it’s actually perfect. And I’ll take whatever I can get.”
Tara giggled. “That’s what I was thinking after you kissed me the first time,” she unwittingly confessed. “I’ll take whatever you can give me.”
Willow’s grin became a soft smile. “I’ll have to see what I can do about that,” she teased gently.
Tara smiled crookedly, but leaned up to press a kiss to Willow’s forehead. “So what time is this party?” she asked, sitting back on her heels.
Willow shrugged. “You know how they are over there, any time people show up seems to work for them.” She smiled. “Buffy’s going to check with Giles, make sure we’re not dealing with the end of the world, but she said she’d meet us at the party.”
Tara nodded. “That sounds good. So, we can get you back to your room, check and make sure none of your stuff got broken, and we can grab something to eat,” she suggested.
Willow nodded, smiling. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll just go let you get dressed,” she offered, wheeling her chair toward the door.
“Willow, you don’t have to…” Tara started before seeing the benefit of Willow’s suggestion. “Thanks,” she said. “Don’t go far though, okay?”
Willow smirked, but nodded. “Yes ma’am,” she agreed teasingly as she wheeled herself into the hall.
Tara only took a few minutes to change clothes, pulling her hair back in an untidy bun, and finding a light jacket before she joined Willow in the hall.
“You look great,” Willow said compulsively, grinning cheekily when Tara blushed. “Ready to go?”
Tara nodded, walking beside the chair. They had a slow trip down the stairs, Willow stepping carefully from step to step on one leg while Tara and the wall supported her, the elevator inoperable with the campus’ power down. Buffy was nowhere to be found when they arrived back at Stevenson, but the Slayer had been there, both beds having obviously been sat on.
“I guess Buffy’s still at Giles’ apartment,” Willow said, glancing around her room. There were a few broken knick-knacks, but nothing irreplaceable. “I’ll just change and we can go get something to eat.”
Tara nodded, lingering near the door while Willow wheeled herself into her closet, but she kept her head turned away, examining a framed picture on Buffy’s desk of Willow, Buffy, and Xander. The three looked to be about sixteen, and they looked happy, piled on top of each other and grinning at the camera.
Her eyes lingered on the face of the younger Willow. Her hair was much longer and darker in the photograph, but she had the same smile, the same eyes. Tara jumped when she realized that Willow had returned to her side. “I’ve always loved that picture,” she commented. “We were so happy then.”
“And you’re not now?” Tara asked softly, glancing down at Willow.
The redhead hesitated before she spoke, shaking her head. “No, it’s not that we’re unhappy. We’re just…everything is changing so fast, and we don’t talk like we used to.” She smiled almost bitterly. “Is it horrible to say that I think my accident helped us?”
Tara frowned down at her questioningly. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if we could have stayed as close if they weren’t always having to look after me,” Willow answered, staring at the picture.
“I’m not sure that’s true, Willow. Buffy and Xander love you,” Tara told her. “And you love them. I have a feeling it would take a lot to tear you guys apart.”
Willow shrugged, glancing up from the picture. “I guess I’m glad we don’t have to find out. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
Tara smiled. “I know they feel the same way about you.”
Willow bit her lip, but returned the smile, feeling grateful when her stomach growled audibly. “You ready to eat?” Tara nodded, following the wheelchair out the door.
They spent the afternoon in the park, enjoying relaxing and the fortunately mild weather. Near sundown, they decided to head toward Porter dorm. The campus’ power was still out, and the dorm was lit with candles and neon glow sticks. Someone dropped glowing rings around their necks as soon as they came through the doors, the party in full swing.
A quick look didn’t reveal Buffy, and the witches moved around the room, greeting people they knew. Tara got caught up talking with a girl from her Lit class about the class they’d taken the previous semester, and Willow wheeled herself away to get drinks.
Tara took the cup as Willow pushed herself back to her, smiling down at the redhead. “It’s kind of loud in here,” Tara observed, glancing around at the crowd.
Willow took a sip of her drink. “Want to go find somewhere more quiet?” she offered. Tara nodded, one hand on Willow’s shoulder as the redhead pushed her chair through the crowd. They found a dark dorm room with an open door, but they didn’t go in, only lingered in the doorway.
They were chatting idly, Willow amusing Tara by trying to think of all of the cheesiest riddles she’d ever heard, and some that she’d made up herself but would never admit to. Both were grateful to realize that in spite of their revelations, spending time alone together felt as comfortable and good as it always had. They were still in the doorway when the lights snapped back on, the partygoers letting out a cheer in the sudden brightness.
It had died back down to a dull roar when Willow let out a short yelp. Tara looked down at her hurriedly, instantly worried. She followed Willow’s eyes and gasped herself as she saw what had scared the other girl.
There was a body on the bed, a gruesome carving in his bare chest, his throat slashed. The witches’ eyes met and Willow glanced back at the crowded party, the guests mostly ignoring the scream.
“Call the cops,” she said, one hand touching Tara’s. “I have to check the body.” Tara looked faintly sick, but she nodded without speaking, letting her hand squeeze Willow’s. “And call my room, maybe Buffy hasn’t left yet. If she’s there, tell her to get here.”
“Okay,” Tara agreed softly, moving reluctantly away from Willow.
Willow was feeling sort of queasy herself, but she dutifully copied down the symbol that was in the young man’s chest. Tara was waiting for her at the door, biting at her lower lip nervously.
“That guy is d-dead, Willow,” she said hoarsely, her eyes locked on the body.
Willow glanced over her shoulder, pulling the door closed behind her. “I know, Tara. I’m sorry.” She brushed her fingers lightly over the back of Tara’s hand. “You’ve never seen a dead body before, have you?”
Tara swallowed thickly, still staring at the door. “Y-yes, but not like t-that,” she murmured. After a moment, she seemed to snap out of her trance “The p-police are on their way. Buffy didn’t answer though, and I don’t know Giles’ number…” Her voice was getting higher in pitch with every word, her eyes still not looking at Willow.
The redhead curled her fingers around Tara’s hand, tugging gently to get her attention. “Hey, sweetie, look at me,” she prompted gently. Tara did as she was directed, looking down at Willow. “I’m sorry you saw that. I promise there won’t be any dead bodies on our actual first date.”
Tara laughed despite herself, the teasing having the intended effect. “Willow…” she started, shaking her head with a smile as the redhead winked at her.
“There’s what I wanted to see,” Willow said, squeezing her hand.
They both heard the sirens and moved preemptively away from the door, the police moving in quickly. Tara had given them good directions, and they came straight to the room. They took statements from some of the party guests, and were carrying the body to the ambulance when Buffy appeared, the Slayer shouldering her way through the milling crowds, looking worried by the sight of the ambulance.
She spotted the witches lingering near the stairs, Tara sitting on the bottom step next to Willow’s chair. Buffy put a hand on Willow’s shoulder, crouching down to look into her face. “Are you okay? Both of you?”
Willow nodded, letting out a sigh. “We’re okay. How about you?” she asked, seeing the hidden tension in her friend’s face.
“You got something off the body?” Buffy asked instead of answering the question.
Willow pulled the paper from the pocket of her jacket, handing it over with a look. “We need to get to Giles’ place?” she guessed, sighing again when Buffy nodded. She glanced up at Tara. “We can walk you home first.”
“I could c-come with you,” Tara offered.
Buffy was studying the paper Willow had given her, frowning at the emblem she’d sketched. “If this is something serious, I want you somewhere safe,” Willow said softly.
“I want the same for you too,” Tara agreed, her voice just as soft.
“I’m always safe,” Willow stated. Tara looked like she was going to argue, but Willow shook her head minutely. “Buffy won’t let anything happen to me.” She glared down at her chair. “If there’s a fight, odds are I’ll end up stranded at Giles’ apartment.” She managed a smile for her. “Please, Tara. I just need to know that you’re safe.”
Tara sighed, finally nodding. “Okay. I’ll stay at the dorm, but you have to promise that you’ll call me when you get back, okay? No matter how late it is.”
Willow smiled, pleased at her victory, and she nodded quickly. “Yeah, I will,” she promised softly. “Buffy, we’re ready when you are,” she prompted in a louder voice, drawing the Slayer’s attention. “We need to swing by Fike and drop Tara off though.”
“Yeah, okay,” Buffy agreed distractedly, moving toward the door without looking to see if the witches were following her.
The power was still out in Tara’s dorm, forcing Willow to wait in the lobby armed with Buffy’s stake while the Slayer escorted Tara upstairs to her room. The Scoobies were already assembled at the apartment, and they gave the Watcher their new clue.
He immediately declared that it was the end of the world.
He laid out the demons’ plan to open the Hellmouth using the sacrifices and the medallion they’d stolen from him, and they started trying to figure out how they could possibly stop it.
They were gearing up to move out and Buffy paused in the doorway, looking hesitantly back at Willow in her chair. “I know,” Willow said before Buffy could speak. “I’m staying here.”
“We wouldn’t have even known about this if it wasn’t for you,” Buffy said. “I can’t let you get hurt again though.” She frowned at the chair. “I can’t lose you, Willow. It would kill me if I couldn’t protect you, if I let you get hurt.”
Willow nodded. “I know, Buffy. It’s okay. I’ll see what I can do from here.”
The Slayer nodded. “Thanks, Will.”
“Be careful, Buffy.”
“I’ll be here to walk home with you soon,” Buffy promised, smiling with a confidence she didn’t feel.
Willow watched the door close behind her friends before she wheeled herself to Giles’ desk, looking for any spells that could help them. She cast the best general protection spell she could muster alone, and went back to looking for anything that would hurt the demons, or keep the Hellmouth from opening. She found a few things, but nothing strong enough to prevent the end of the world.
She pushed the thought that she should have let Tara come with them out of her head. She would have been able to cast better with the blonde helping her, but the apartment had been breached that day, and Tara’s safety was more important. She’d been casting protection spells for the Scoobies by herself since junior year and they’d always managed to make it work.
It was almost midnight when the Scoobies stumbled in, bruised and beaten. However, Buffy wasn’t with them and Willow’s blood ran cold. “Oh God, where’s Buffy?” she asked, blanching suddenly.
“She’s alive. She’s okay,” Giles assured her hurriedly. “She just had some things to take care of.”
“Riley’s one of those commandos,” Xander chimed in cheerfully as he wiped blood from the blade of his axe.
“But no more end of the world, right?” Willow checked, frowning at him.
“Nope, we took care of that,” Xander said with a flippant tone. “With a little help from Riley,” he acceded when Giles sent him a chiding look.
“Okay, good,” Willow sighed. “And Buffy’s okay?”
“She’s perfectly fine, Willow,” Giles assured her softly. “She just needed to talk to that Riley fellow.”
The redhead nodded. “Well, she was going to walk me home, so could I stay here tonight, Giles?”
The Watcher nodded, grimacing as blood rolled into his eye. “Of course, Willow. You’re always welcome here.”
“Thanks,” she said, smiling up at him. “I need to make a phone call since the world isn’t ending,” she requested, picking up the handset and wheeling herself down the hall.
She dialed the phone once she got to the spare room, listening to two short rings before Tara picked up.
“Willow?”
The redhead smiled, holding the phone against her ear. “It’s me,” she confirmed. “You’ll be pleased to know that the world isn’t ending tonight.”
“You’re okay?”
Willow laughed. “I was at Giles’ apartment the whole time. Not a scratch on me. At least, no new ones.”
“And Buffy? Xander? Mr. Giles?”
“Everyone is fine, Tara. It’s all fine,” Willow assured her gently.
Tara let out a deep breath, feeling tension drain out of her slowly. “You handle the end of the world much better than I do,” she told Willow.
“I’ve had a lot of practice,” Willow said easily. “It made it easier that I knew you were safe.”
“It made it harder that I knew you weren’t,” Tara responded.
“I’m fine, Tara. I promise,” Willow said softly. She heard Tara yawn uncontrollably, able to relax now that she’d heard from Willow. “You should get some sleep. I’m staying at Giles’ tonight, but I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” Tara agreed, yawning. “Goodnight, Willow,” she said as she hung up.
Willow clicked the phone off, dropping it into her lap. She could feel the same sudden weariness that Tara had been hit with, the draining tension leaving only deep tiredness behind. She only let herself think about the end now that it was over.
They’d come close to losing everything before, and she felt this one as sharply as she’d felt any of the other apocalypses they had faced. They always made her think, she suspected that they did the same thing to the others, and she wondered if it was easier for the people who walked around clueless, having no idea how close they came to losing it all, and how often in a place like Sunnydale.
Tonight she found herself thinking about Tara, about all the things she’d said to her, the kisses they’d shared, and her confused thoughts and feelings. She tried to sort them out slowly, sitting in her chair in the dark. She could hear Xander leave, the construction worker calling a loud good night to her. She returned it distractedly before going back to her thoughts. Giles went to bed after checking that she was situated safely, leaving her alone with her confusion.
She knew that she liked Tara, would miss her if she wasn’t around, cared about her deeply, and loved kissing her, but what did all of that add up to if she still loved Oz? She knew she still loved the werewolf, missed him, thought about him, and wanted him to find a cure. She just wasn’t sure anymore if it was for her benefit, or for his own. He was still gone, and she doubted a little more each day that he was ever coming back.
How she felt about Tara didn’t have anything to do with Oz, though. He was gone, and even if he came back, Tara was still going to be there, and she couldn’t see her feelings for the other woman going away. She sighed heavily, dropping her head into her hand.
She finally decided that what mattered tonight was that the world had been about to end, and she’d spent her night worried about Tara. That was the last thought in her head as she finally succumbed uneasily to sleep.
Buffy was there when she woke up, the Slayer sleeping restlessly beside her and lifting her head blearily as Willow moved. “Will, you okay?” she asked, rubbing at her eyes. Willow nodded without speaking, frowning as she pulled herself up to lean against the headboard. “Really?” Buffy questioned doubtfully, sitting up beside her friend.
“I think we should talk,” Willow said. “I mean, I need to talk to you…I don’t know what to do, and you’re my best friend, and I know that you just saved the world again last night and you’re probably tired, but I could really use your advice…”
Buffy stopped the ramble with a gentle hand over her friend’s mouth. “Shh, Will, it’s okay. Whatever is going on, we’ll be together, okay?”
“Is Xander working today?” Willow asked from behind Buffy’s hand.
The Slayer shook her head, smiling tiredly as she took her hand down. “I’ll call him. Should I tell him to meet us here, or what?”
“Um, could we go out?” Willow requested, glancing around the room.
“Okay,” Buffy said simply, sliding out of the bed and getting ready to go while Willow shifted herself into her chair. The witch handed over the phone, letting Buffy dial. The conversation was brief, the Slayer giving Willow a reassuring smile as she hung up. “He’s going to meet us at the Espresso Pump.”
“Thanks, Buffy,” Willow sighed.
The Slayer nodded, leaning over to press a kiss to the top of her friend’s head. “Sure, Willow. Anything,” she stated.
They had ordered their drinks when Xander arrived, the friends sitting at a booth in the corner, Willow’s chair parked at the end of the table while Buffy and Xander sat on either side. They sat in silence for a moment as the waitress brought their coffees, Willow’s eyes locked on her own cup.
“So, what’s up?” Xander asked, sucking whipped cream off the top of his drink.
Buffy shrugged, her eyes lingering on Willow. The redhead sighed, lifting her eyes. “I think I have feelings for Tara,” she blurted, heart pounding in her chest.
Xander snorted his drink, choking. Willow reached forward and swatted against his back. His throat cleared, his eyes finding her, wide and wild. “What?!” he demanded loudly.
“Shh, Xander,” Willow hissed at him, glancing around the almost empty coffee shop.
“Let’s listen to what she has to say,” Buffy said reasonably, mustering a supportive smile. “Go on, Will.”
Willow smiled, swallowing thickly. “Okay, well, when I said that I
think that I have feelings for Tara, that’s not strictly true. I know that I do. She’s smart, and funny, and sweet, and pretty, and an amazing kisser…”
Xander choked again, Buffy frowning at him as she wiped flecks of his sprayed coffee from her face. “You have
got to stop doing that,” she chided.
“Willow just said she kissed a girl, okay? That’s how I react!” Xander objected.
Willow sighed heavily, turning her cup in her hands without drinking. “I…we don’t have to talk about this,” she said, her eyes falling to the table. She looked up again as one of each Xander and Buffy’s hands landed on her shoulders.
“Willow, we’re here for you,” Xander said supportively. “Talk to us. I promise I’ll do better,” he stated. Buffy just nodded, smiling more naturally.
“Thank you,” Willow breathed quietly. “I know it seems like this is coming out of nowhere, and I know that you guys are surprised, but it’s not just a fluke, or anything,” she stated, smiling sideways at Xander. Her grin returned as their eyes met, and he shoved gently at her shoulder, making everything feel normal again with that simple action.
“So, you’ve got a thing for Tara?” Xander asked. He grinned at her. “She’s cute,” he teased. Willow pushed him this time, shaking her head. “No, seriously, she seems like a great girl Will, but so is Buffy, and you don’t have a thing for her, do you?”
Willow shook her head with a laugh as Buffy rolled her eyes at them both. “No, sorry Buffy,” Willow said. The Slayer shrugged with a grin, shaking her head back at the redhead. “It’s Tara. There’s just something about her. I care about her a lot.”
“What about Oz?” Buffy asked softly.
Willow’s face went slack and she sighed heavily. “Of course I still love him, but he’s gone and I don’t know if he’s ever coming back. And even if he did, I don’t know if we could have worked it out. What I do know is that Tara makes me happy, and it’s been so long since I’ve felt happy like that. She’s nice, and sweet, and I really do care for her. And it’s not a missing-Oz thing, or a loneliness thing, it’s her.”
“She likes you too?” Buffy stated more than asked, little things she’d noticed suddenly making sense.
Willow nodded, frowning. “Yeah, but…”
“But she thinks you’re just reacting to your grief,” Buffy said.
Willow smiled unwillingly. “Someone’s been paying attention in Psych,” she commented.
Buffy grinned at her friend proudly. “Well, we do have that class tomorrow.”
Willow groaned, taking a sip of her coffee. “I’m not going through enough?” she asked. “You had to remind me?”
The Slayer laughed. “Sorry, Will,” she apologized. “So, what did Tara say?”
“She says she’ll always be my friend,” Willow sighed.
“You want more?” Buffy asked.
Willow nodded slowly. “I just want to know more about her, want to know her better. I want a chance.”
“Tara won’t give you a chance?” Xander asked incredulously. “You’re a catch, Willow. Tara’s not as smart as she seems if she doesn’t realize that.”
Willow snorted, shooting a look over the table at him. “Look who’s talking,” she said as Buffy laughed.
“Yeah, well I’ve gotten much smarter since eleventh grade,” Xander defended himself. “And I stick with what I said, it’s Tara’s loss if she can’t see how great Will is!”
The redhead smiled at him, one of his hands landing over hers. “Thanks, Xander, but she’s not stupid. She likes me too, she just thinks that I am having a crisis or something.”
“But it’s real?” Buffy asked, the straw slurping in her cup as she got to the bottom of her drink.
Willow met her eyes seriously. “Yeah, it really is. It’s new, and it’s different from how it felt with Oz, but it’s there, and it’s strong.”
“Well, then I’m happy for you,” Buffy stated with an assuredness they could all tell she was at least partially forcing, leaning back in the booth bench.
Willow leaned forward in her chair, pulling Buffy into a hug. “Thank you,” she breathed into her friend’s shoulder, grateful for the support but not surprised that her best friend was freaked. She was more than a little freaked herself.
Both girls turned as Xander cleared his throat. “I’m with you too. You know I always will be,” he said. “What can we do to help you get your girl?” he asked.
Willow hugged him gratefully before sitting back in her chair. “You guys really are taking this better than I expected,” she observed. “I’ve been freaking out of my mind over this, but other than the coffee spitting, you guys are acting like I told you I decided to get a haircut.”
“But your hair looks great,” Buffy objected teasingly. She sobered at Willow’s look. “Look Will, I can’t say I’m not a little freaked, but I’m glad you told us. And we want you to be happy,” she said, confirming what Willow suspected, but continuing to muster support in spite of any of her own personal misgivings.
Xander nodded seriously. “She’s right. No matter who you love, you’re still Willow, and we’re still your best friends, no matter what.” He glanced guiltily at the table, watching his fingers play with his coffee cup. “It just might take a little bit for us to get used to it, that’s all.”
Willow smiled gratefully, suddenly fighting tears. “Thank you, both of you,” she said, voice thick with emotion as she reached over to cover his hand with her own, meeting his eyes as he turned his hand over to hold hers.
“I could talk to Tara, if you want,” Buffy offered, trying to be supportive.
Willow shook her head, smiling tightly. “I don’t even know what I’m going to say to her,” she said. “Thanks though.”
“Sure thing, Will.”
“So, Riley’s a commando?” Willow asked, changing the subject suddenly as it occurred to her that the Slayer had her own relationship drama going on.
“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, sighing heavily. “So that’s over.”
Willow frowned at her. “Why?” she asked. Buffy looked surprised by the question, and Willow continued. “He was hiding it from you, sure, but you were hiding the Slayer thing too, but now it’s all out in the open, right? So why’s it over?”
“I just…after Angel…Riley was supposed to be the normal one, you know?” Buffy said.
“So what if he isn’t?” Xander asked. “He still cares about you, and he seems like a nice guy. Is it too much to just give him a chance?” He gave her a look over the table. “Not everything in your life has to be gloom and doom, Buff.”
She blinked at him, letting her eyes slide closed after a moment. “I guess I don’t think it could ever be that simple,” she said, not opening her eyes.
“Sometimes it is though,” Willow said, smiling at Buffy as the Slayer looked at her. “You just can’t be too scared to go for it.”
“You and me both, right?” Buffy asked, returning her best friend’s smile.
“Right,” Willow said, nodding her head.
Xander glanced between them both. “Sounds like you guys are ready,” he said, mustering confidence for them. “Tara and Riley won’t know what hit them.”
Willow and Buffy exchanged grins, each blushing. Xander laughed, standing up and rounding Willow’s chair to offer his arm to Buffy. She stood up with a smile and took it. They waited while Willow turned her chair around so she was going in the same direction they were and Xander put a hand on her shoulder, escorting them both out onto the sidewalk.
They turned toward the campus, walking in silence, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. Lowell House was just off campus, and Buffy split off from her friends, giving them each a smile. Xander stayed with Willow, walking her toward Fike.
He followed her into the lobby, pushing the button for the elevator, and taking a step back. “Good luck, Will,” he said quietly. “No matter what she says, you know we love you.” He knelt down beside her chair, looking her in the eye. “Want me to wait down here?”
She bit her lip, thinking it about it seriously. “Thank you Xander, but it’s okay. I appreciate it.”
The elevator doors dinged and opened in front of them, and Xander pressed a kiss to her temple as he stood up. “Okay, but call me if you need anything. I mean it. Anything you need, you call me.”
She nodded her agreement, wheeling herself into the elevator car. She took a deep breath as she reached the second floor, hesitating in front of Tara’s door. It was still before lunch, so she had hopes that Tara was in, but if she wasn’t Willow resolved to sit outside the door until she returned.
She knocked before she could lose her nerve, brushing her hands over her thighs anxiously. The door opened after a moment, and Willow could see Tara’s surprise in her face.
“Willow, I thought you’d be with Buffy today,” the blonde greeted her, holding onto the doorknob.
“We had coffee this morning,” Willow answered quickly. “We talked, and she’s going to see Riley, and I needed to come here, talk to you. We were each supposed to talk…” She could feel a babble coming on, and choked it down with an effort. “Can I talk to you?”
Tara nodded, stepping out of the door. “Come in,” she murmured, following Willow with her eyes and shutting the door behind them. Willow parked her chair near the bed, still anxiously brushing her hands over the tops of her legs, fingers playing with the bulge of her sweatpants where they were lumping up over the edge of her cast.
Tara could feel the tension radiating from the redhead, and she sat slowly on the edge of the bed close to Willow’s chair. “Sweetheart, what is it?” Tara asked softly.
“Okay, here it is,” Willow blurted. “Last night the world almost ended, and I just wanted to see you. That says something for me, you know? I feel something for you Tara, and it’s not just because I’m lonely, or depressed, it’s because you’re sweet, and smart, and you make me laugh, and you make me happy. I know you think I’m going to have regrets if we try this and it doesn’t work, but the only thing I’m going to regret is if we let this go without fighting for it.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Tara, there’s something here, and it’s real, and I want to see where it leads us. Give me a chance, Tara. Give us a chance…”
“Willow,” Tara said softly, sighing. “It’s not that simple.”
“That’s what Buffy said about Riley!” Willow interjected. “But
why can’t it be that simple? I like you, Tara. It wasn’t anything I was looking for, but I’m still falling for you. If you feel the same way then why can’t we give it a try?” she demanded, swallowing hard as she finished speaking, her eyes finding something to look at on the other side of the room.
Tara wanted to argue, wanted to insist that Willow take more time to think, but the redhead seemed pretty confident, and it was what she wanted herself, so she found her protests stuck in her throat. If Willow wanted to try being together, Tara knew she would give in eventually, unable to resist if she was who Willow wanted.
Willow was surprised when Tara’s hands landed on her knee, the blonde slipping off her bed to her knees in front of Willow’s legs. “Okay,” Tara said softly, a slow smile coming to her lips.
“What?” Willow asked dumbly, sure she couldn’t have heard correctly.
“Okay, we can give it a try,” Tara answered, biting her lip. “Going out. Together.”
Willow blinked, a slow smile of her own coming to her lips. “Okay?” she repeated. “Really?”
Tara nodded, leaning up. “Unless you changed your mind in the last thirty seconds.”
“Oh, no way!” Willow yelped, shaking her head rapidly. “You’re stuck with me, baby,” she said.
Tara arched an eyebrow at her, leaning in slowly. “Baby?” she asked softly, privately liking the idea of being Willow’s baby.
“Um, I mean, I don’t have to, I didn’t mean to…” Willow scrambled to apologize, blushing brightly.
“I like it,” Tara said, moving closer. Willow only recognized the blonde’s proximity as Tara’s stomach pressed against her knee. Her mouth opened to speak, but she decided against it, just moving to meet Tara’s lips.
The kiss was brief and they didn’t pull back very far, just enough for their eyes to lock. “Okay?” Tara asked, her voice low.
“Oh yes,” Willow agreed. “And also, wow,” she breathed, smiling. “This is real, right? Not just some dream?”
“If it is, I’m here too,” Tara told her.
“Good,” Willow said as she kissed her again. They kept the kiss slow, hands curling into hair while lips met and tasted gently. They separated gradually, Tara leaning back on her heels to smile. “So, what now?” Willow asked hesitantly, still caught up in the mind-altering kiss she’d just been given.
Tara smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know,” she admitted, giggling giddily. “You mentioned a date with no dead bodies,” Tara reminded her.
Willow nodded eagerly. “I can do that,” she said immediately. “One perfect date coming up.”
Tara laughed, one hand tracing over Willow’s cheek. “It’s okay, Willow. We’re not in a hurry.” She tilted her head, her fingers still moving lightly over freckled skin. “And don’t you have a doctor’s appointment this week? We can wait to go out. It’s not like we don’t see each other every day.”
Willow felt her eyelids flutter, and she leaned into Tara’s touch. “Oh, yeah, I’ve got a check up to see when I can get my cast off.” She sighed, glancing down at her wheelchair. “You sure you want me? Even with this stupid chair, and my stupid leg…”
Tara cut her off with a kiss, a new method of interrupting the babble, and one that she would be sure to use as often as she could. Willow blinked blearily as Tara pulled away after several long moments. “There’s nothing stupid about you, Willow,” Tara stated sternly. “I don’t want to hear stuff like that about my girl.”
Willow smiled brilliantly after a second as the words sunk in. “Your girl?”
“For as long as you want to be,” Tara agreed, sitting back on her heels.
Willow noticed her shift her weight, and the redhead frowned. “Your knees are hurting,” she guessed. “Come on, get up and sit on the bed.”
Tara smiled softly. “Sitting here has advantages though,” she objected.
Willow giggled, but slipped her hands under Tara’s elbows and tugged her up gently. “It’s not worth your knees being sore,” she prompted and Tara moved obligingly onto her previous seat on the mattress.
“That’s arguable, but thank you, Willow,” Tara said. She knocked her knuckles against the cast lightly. “It’s going to be funny to be able to see both of your legs.” She let her fingers trail over Willow’s toes and they squirmed away from her touch, the redhead giggling. “So you’re ticklish,” Tara observed. “Good to know.” Her finger dragged a slow line between Willow’s toes and the beginning of her cast, Willow laughing helplessly.
Willow shot her a look. “Witch,” she chided lightly. “When I get my cast off in like a month, and learn to walk again in the four to six months after that, after all of that, I’m so going to get you,” she promised, smirking.
“Well, I hope I can get myself out of trouble by helping you with all of those things,” Tara offered kindly, sliding her palm slowly over the cotton pants covering the cast.
“Really?” Willow asked. “You’d go to the doctor with me and stuff?”
Tara nodded, looking surprised. “Of course. I mean, if you want me there…”
“Yeah, I do. I know you don’t believe me yet, and I’m grateful you’re giving me a chance to prove it, but you make me happy, just by being around me,” Willow said, ducking her head with a blush. “Um, that was stupid to say, sorry.”
“It was sweet,” Tara said. “So, when is your appointment?” She changed the subject, seeing that Willow was feeling embarrassed.
“Um, Tuesday afternoon,” Willow answered, smiling sheepishly. Now that Tara had agreed to exploring how they felt about each other, she was scared that she would come on too strong and frighten the blonde away. Not that coming on strong had ever been one of her problems when it came to relationships. How long had she and Oz bounced around each other before they’d actually managed to find each other?
Tara was watching Willow’s ever busy brain work, smiling affectionately. Willow caught the look and returned the smile. “Okay,” Tara agreed. “I guess Buffy’s taking you to the doctor, right?”
“And Xander,” Willow added, grinning. “They do their best to make up for my parents not really showing much interest in my recovery.”
“Your parents care, Willow,” Tara protested, despite having never seen or heard much about Willow’s parents in the months since they’d met.
The redhead nodded, smile locked in place. “I think they read the reports the doctors send them,” she agreed.
“Oh,” Tara said softly. “I’m sorry, Willow.”
Willow blinked, shaking her head. “Oh, Tara, no. It’s not your fault. That’s how it’s always been, and I’m totally used to it.”
Tara sighed, biting her lip. It wasn’t as if her family was the picture of normalcy, with the women becoming demons. The sudden reminder sent a sharp stab of guilt through her. Willow deserved someone who wasn’t going to become a nasty demon. Though the need to hide what she was had been so deeply ingrained that she wasn’t even sure she could say the words until her life depended on it.
Of all the reasons she’d presented to Willow to keep them apart, her demon had been the biggest, but the only one she hadn’t used. She felt the need to share rising up her spine, but a glance at Willow stilled her tongue. That the redhead liked her at all felt like a miracle, and she only had less than a year left of humanity, why shouldn’t she take her chance to be happy? It was what Willow wanted, and she wanted it too.
“Willow…” she spoke without thinking, only realizing that she had said her name when Willow’s eyes focused on her, her smile becoming more natural.
“Yeah?” Willow prompted when Tara didn’t say anything else.
“Oh, um, well I have class until two on Tuesday, but I could leave early, or skip it if…”
“No, there’s no need for that,” Willow objected. “I don’t have to be there until three. Xander is working until two-thirty and Buffy has to run home and pick up her mom’s Jeep.” She grinned excitedly.
Tara smiled. “Eager?” she guessed.
Willow nodded. “Yeah. Even though they probably won’t let me out of the cast for good this time, I’ll be out of it for a little while.” She scratched at the edge of the cast. “You would not believe how much it itches in there.”
Tara laughed. “Well, I’m excited for you.”
“And I’m glad you’ll be there,” Willow said. “And I’m glad you’re here, and I’m glad you let me in, and I’m glad you talked to me, and I’m glad you said yes…”
The blonde giggled, leaning forward to interrupt the rambling with a kiss. Willow was quick to adjust, her hands curling around Tara’s neck to pull her in. Tara’s hands found the armrests of Willow’s chair, pulling it closer to the bed, breaking out of the kiss to laugh as the chair didn’t move, held away from the bed by Willow’s leg cast.
“And I’m definitely glad you figured out this great new way to shut me up,” Willow breathed, smiling happily. “Feel free to use it any time.”
Tara smiled crookedly, ducking her head so her hair slid across her face. Willow pushed it back with one hand, sliding the hair between her fingers. “Is your leg okay?” Tara checked.
“Oh, yeah, it’s fine. Didn’t feel a thing,” Willow said, waving her concern away easily. “So, do you want to do something, maybe? It’s still early, and Buffy’s over at Riley’s house, hopefully their conversation will go as good as ours did, but she’s probably not going to be around today.”
Tara arched an eyebrow at her, smiling. “Buffy’s talking to Riley? Is this what you guys talked about this morning?”
Willow bit her lip, nodding shyly. “I hope you don’t mind. Buffy and Xander are my best friends, and I spent all of my winter holiday confused and thinking about this, and I needed to talk to them. I didn’t say anything private, of course, but I needed to tell them. I did say that you were an amazing kisser, and Xander spit his coffee in Buffy’s face,” she said, laughing.
Tara blushed, laughing herself. “You said I’m an amazing kisser?” she asked, surprised.
“Definitely,” Willow agreed, grinning. “Because it’s true.” She leaned forward for another kiss, falling quickly deeper as Tara kissed her back.
“You’re quite good yourself,” Tara said when she could speak again, panting for breath. “We could get something to eat,” she suggested after a moment. “It might not be a great idea to stay here and keep…doing that,” she said, smiling shyly.
Willow grinned cheerfully, but nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. We need to do this right, take things as they come,” she said, pushing her chair back so Tara could stand up. “I’m not going to mess this up,” Willow declared, smiling as Tara joined her.
*****
Next Time: It’s Buffy’s birthday…and the girls go on a date!
(And before anyone says I made a mistake - phones back in 'the day' could run off of landlines and didn't need power from a house to work - so they could still use the phone even if the dorm's power was out...)