The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 1:34 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:00 pm
Posts: 170
Hi RaspberryHats,

Just want to say that I love your story sooo much.

Thank you for sharing, wilgen.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 4:52 pm 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:34 pm
Posts: 522
Location: Maine
What a sweet and romantic first date.

Great update.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:59 pm 
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19. Yummy Face

Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:40 pm
Posts: 2934
Location: Raleigh, NC
The girls definitely have a perfect first date. Everything is so sweet and romantic.

I am glad they are taking things so slowly. It is debatable when the ladies actually consummate their love on the show . I still believe it is the end of New Moon Rising.

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Tara: Willow, I got so lost.
Willow: I found you. I will always find you.


Last edited by The Rose24 on Thu Nov 10, 2005 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 10:45 am 
It's criminal that I am so late coming to this fic because I love season 4 fics that show us the part of the season that I actually wanted to see and enjoyed in my head. This is so much better IMHO showing all that wasn't on. I've only read up thru chapter 6 but I wanted to say how much I enjoyed it. I like the way you have Willow and Tara's relationship progressing. The immediate connection and attraction is spot on as is the confusion on Willow's and Tara's parts. I've always felt that Willow glommed on pretty early to being kinda gay given how smart she is and that Tara came out to her early in their freiendship. The why you are playing it out fits right in with my conceptions though of course, I can't wait to see where you take it. The spell sanbotage incident will be interesting to see as it never worked for me as it played out on screen (what little we got was pretty sparse and not all that well written IMHO). I will be rnning thru chapters 7 & * soon and can't wait to see how their date went. Thanks for a great fic!


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:25 pm 
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17. Mega-Witches
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What sam7777 said. I just finished Chapter 3 and I LOVE IT!!! More feedback with actual complete sentences and thoughtful comments when I catch up to the current update. LOVE IT, love the lovely season 4! Very sweet!

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 7:07 pm 
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3. Flaming O
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:58 pm
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Location: Next to Jenny
disclaimer I am not in any way associated with Joss or Mutant Enemy I am merely guilty of stealing their intellectual property.

background This Years Girl/Who Are You and oh my it's the Flaming O

Feedback Yes please.

Rating It's not PG any longer kids, no idea what it is but if two women together upsets you then give this a miss. Of course if that upsets you I could ask why are you visiting this board anyway.

Authors Note This is the most difficult update I have written and I am prepared for anything in terms of feedback. When I decided to write a Season 4 fic I knew this point would come and here we are, it's the Flaming O spell and we all know what that means. I used this very board for research when writing this story and one of the things I determined was that Tara and Willow's first time would arrive at this point.

I don't generally write anything that could be remotely considered smut and I am fairly uncomfortable with writing any kind of sex scene, sorry I am just an old prude. In writing this story though I recognised that to avoid the issue would be chickening out somehow and therefore my first and probably last ever sex scene is contained in the following update. I hope I did ok and please be gentle as I have never worked so hard over so few words.

I also should point out that generally I prefer not to use actual dialogue from the episodes but in this instance I don't think it would have been right not to include the 'I am you know' sequence so it appears here in a form consistent with the story. Anyway, enough of my yammering, here is Chapter 9.


Between The Lines


Chapter Nine – Crossing the Line


“I won’t do it, you can’t make me,” Willow protested and pulled the covers back over her head to blot out the sun streaming through the window.

“Sorry Willow, you have c-class and you are going to be so late if you don’t get up now.” Tara tugged the covers back down to reveal a mop of red hair and a sleepy version of Willow’s infamous resolve face.

“I won’t,” Willow protested with a pout, “I just need a few more minutes,” she stopped pouting and switched to her puppy dog expression, “please Tara?”

“Fine,” Tara decided to try out a little amateur psychology, “you can stay in b-bed now if you like, but obviously staying here is tiring you t-too much so you have to sleep in your own bed tonight.”

“I am up,” Willow’s eyes opened wide and she practically jumped from the bed, “see wide awake, ready for the day, can I stay tonight?”

“Of course,” Tara laughed, “I only said that to g-get you up, you really don’t handle mornings well do you?”

“Not so much,” Willow agreed, “my body clock is all weird from hanging out in graveyards at night since I was sixteen,” Willow collected her wash bag from Tara’s dresser, “but you get some of the credit for the tired this morning.” Willow flashed Tara a smile and headed out of the door to wash up.

Tara stepped over to the bed and began to straighten it out as she waited for Willow to return, this was becoming a pattern, she would get up in the mornings and only when she was ready to go would she finally be able to drag the reluctant Willow from under the covers. Tara actually wanted to be on her way already but she would risk running late to wait for Willow to finish getting herself ready, she didn’t mind leaving Willow alone in her room but she did mind missing a moment of time with her love when she didn’t have to.

This was the third straight night that Willow had stayed with her including the night of the now legendary first date and already it seemed as though Willow belonged with her in this room. Tara knew not to become too used to the arrangement, part of the reason Willow had stayed was because Buffy had not been around in the evenings as she was busy patrolling and so therefore did not realise Willow was not sleeping in their dorm room. Clearly once things returned to normal she would have to get used to the fact that Willow would be sleeping in her own bed again, that is unless she decided to tell Buffy about her relationship but Tara didn’t think that was likely to happen anytime soon. Tara was slightly surprised to feel a little pang of hurt as she thought about Willow’s reluctance to tell her friends about them, she had been sure she didn’t really care but as they were growing closer she was beginning to realise that it did matter to her after all, certainly the fear that Willow might be ashamed of their relationship had returned to her in moments of introspection.

Shaking her head Tara decided not to dwell on the subject of Willow’s friends this morning, she was happy, everything was going so well and here she was trying to invent reasons to be unhappy. The last three days had been magical and she did not want to break the spell just yet, reality would intrude upon her dreams at some point for the time being she wanted to luxuriate in this extended period of Willowness. Since the date they had been inseparable, budgetary concerns had meant that they had stayed in for the next two evenings and made their own entertainment but that had been as good as any date, they had talked, cast together and spent the night wrapped together in this very bed. The bed had yet to see anything more than kisses and occasional chaste caresses but the barriers were definitely at breaking point and Tara knew that something had to give sooner rather than later. She felt that she might be ready but still there was something holding her back and she could not quite put her finger on what that something was.

“Hey,” Willow pushed through the door and headed straight for her bag, “five more minutes and I will be ready.”

“Ok Willow,” Tara tried and failed not to watch as Willow swiftly slipped out of her pyjamas and put on her clothes, “so do you have any p-plans for tonight?” Tara was anxious for any sort of conversation to distract her from the sight of bare skin and the thoughts that came with it.

“Not sure,” Willow mumbled, “Buffy said something yesterday about a Scooby meeting so we may be getting together in the basement of doom, or Xander’s place as we sometimes call it.”

“So you will be busy?” Tara could not help feeling a little deflated at the thought of a night without Willow.

“Hard to say,” Willow picked up her brush and tried to straighten the tangle of red hair with little success, “these meetings sometimes end super fast, Buffy gets all fired up and rushes off to Slay and we mere mortals are left to our own devices, other times we get into plan mode and before you know it the night is gone.” Willow gave up on the hairbrush and stuffed it back into her bag, ready to go she picked up the bag and motioned towards the door, “you know I want to see you tonight but I just don’t know if I can yet, do you mind if it’s late?”

“No, just so long as I c-can see you,” Tara held the door open for Willow and then followed her out into the hall.

“Ok, I will come to you if I can, if not I will call,” glancing around to see the hallway was empty Willow leaned in for a quick kiss before continuing, “Ok I am late, have a good day baby, see you later.”

“Bye Willow,” Tara answered even as Willow hurried off to her first class.

…………………………………………………………..

Willow hurried through the halls towards Tara’s room, last night had been one of the longest of her life as first she had been showered with bad news and had then had to forego the pleasure of spending the night with Tara. The Adam situation was causing enough concern for the Scooby’s but the news that Faith had woken from her coma and escaped from hospital was even worse as far as Willow was concerned. Faith was every bit as evil as Adam in her eyes but the fact that she was human made it harder to forgive, especially when she had shown such a propensity for hurting Willow’s friends. Buffy was out there right now trying to track the maniac down but in the meantime Willow was going to seek comfort in the one place she felt safe.

Staying in her own room had been the logical thing to do last night but logic be damned if she was going to do it again. The events of the evening had made her very late returning and added to that she feared that Faith might be out there lurking and she did not want to lead the rogue Slayer straight to Tara’s door. In an attempt to be sensible she had sneaked a few minutes privacy before leaving Giles apartment to call and let Tara know something big had gone down and she would not be able to get away to see her. The idea that Buffy might return to an empty dorm room and assume the worst had also concerned Willow, she could have explained she was staying with a friend but she still did not want her friends to know about Tara and so had kept quiet.

Today had thrown a whole new complexion on things though, especially after the encounter with Faith that morning. Buffy had hoped that Faith would be changed by her experiences but now they had confirmation that Faith was out for payback the Slayer had advised Willow to lie low until the danger had passed. Willow now had a valid excuse for dropping off the radar and she intended sticking with Tara for as long as Faith was out there, in fact she felt bold enough to consider hunting Faith herself if Tara would accompany her. Willow alone was no match yet for the strength of the Slayer but with the connection she had with Tara she was sure that the magic could protect them, she just had to explain to Tara what was happening.

Willow knocked on Tara’s door and flashed a smile as Tara opened up and let her into the sanctuary, “Hey Tara, I am so glad to see you.”

“Me too,” Tara nodded happily, “you know you d-don’t have to knock really.”

“What?”

“You can just come in,” Tara explained, “I don’t mind.”

“Oh ok,” Willow considered that for a moment, “want me to go out and come in again?”

“N-no,” Tara started to protest and then realised Willow was teasing her, “and that’s mean, you shouldn’t tease.”

“Sorry, I just couldn’t resist,” Willow apologised, “so can I make it up to you with a kiss?”

“Yes p-please,” Tara smiled, “I missed you last night.”

“I missed you too, I am a very stupid person for not coming to you and I intend making up for that right now.” Willow wrapped her arms around Tara and stopped talking as she found a better use for her lips.

The kissing continued for a while and at some point the girls moved over to the bed although Tara had no clear memory of when that had happened, she was just glad that she wasn’t standing anymore as she doubted her legs would have supported her once the kissing intensified. The kissing once again led to gentle, almost accidental caresses but gradually Tara became aware that things were starting to go further than ever before. The passion between them was greater for the night they had been kept apart and now the rigidly enforced self-control was slipping, almost unthinkingly Tara’s hand had come to rest just over Willow’s heart and she had begun to massage the soft flesh beneath her fingers even as she felt Willow’s hand slipping underneath her shirt and across the bare skin of her back. Tara wanted to stop, to voice some sort of protest that now was not the time but her body would not respond to those thoughts and so the intimate touches and caresses continued and her heart rate continued to rise.

Just at the point where Tara thought she might surrender all control, she felt cold fingers brush across the bare skin of her leg where her skirt had somehow ridden up and she reacted without even thinking and flinched back from the touch. Instantly Willow pulled back from the embrace and dropped her head in embarrassment as Tara sat looking at her in surprise and confusion, both girls struggling to control the rush of emotions they were feeling.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to..” Willow began to apologise.

“N-no Willow, its ok,” Tara interrupted, “you just startled me.”

“Still,” Willow shook her head gently, “not the right time, I just got carried away.”

“We both did,” Tara agreed, “it’s getting harder to stop,” she added her voice dropping almost to a whisper.

“Yes, maybe we should take a walk, clear our heads a little?”

“Good idea,” Tara stood and smoothed her mussed clothing; “you said something about g-going on a hunt?”

“Yep,” Willow enthused, happy to change the subject for the time being, “official Scooby business if you are up for it?”

“Sounds c-cool, what are we hunting?” Tara moved towards the door following the excited Willow.

“Not a what, it’s a who, come on walk with me and I will tell you all everything.”

……………………………………………………………………………

Willow lay on Tara’s bed watching Tara as the blonde sat at the foot of the bed and watched her right back. The first hint of evening had been enough to send them scurrying back to Tara’s dorm and now both were lost within their own thoughts as they sat in silence. Willow was trying to fight back the concern she felt for Buffy as she contemplated calling Giles for an update whilst at the same time she was trying to decide if she had gone too far with Tara. The kissing had been explosive and the desires that both girls were feeling were becoming difficult to keep in check and yet Willow was uncertain if Tara’s withdrawal had meant no or not yet. The silence that hung between them now was not helping Willow’s frame of mind either, maybe Tara was upset and just didn’t feel able to explain. Not for the first time Willow wished that Giles massive library of reference books had something on relationships so she could just look the answers up.

Tara watched the play of emotions on Willow’s face as she sat quietly watching, it was busy inside Willow’s head, not that that was unusual. The silence was ever so slightly uncomfortable, the events of earlier in the day had raised questions, which as yet they had not discussed, and Tara was trying to rationalise her own reaction. She wanted Willow but at the same time she felt she needed more of a commitment before giving in to her physical desires. Their relationship was growing stronger and yet the issue of where exactly Tara fit into Willow’s life had not been addressed, as much as she wanted to enjoy what she had Tara knew she needed some answers. So far the nature of their relationship had not been discussed and Tara wanted to know how Willow saw things, were they girlfriends? Willow had not used the word so far and silly though it might be Tara still could not quite shake the fear that this was just a bit of college experimentation for Willow. She might desire Willow but she had enough pride to not want to be part of an experimental phase for someone, she wanted a real commitment before giving up all that she had to offer.

Willow had a life separate from the world she shared with Tara, a world full of friends and family who didn’t even know Tara existed, Tara was no expert but she was pretty sure that when you were in a relationship you introduced your partner to your friends, you didn’t hide them away as though you were ashamed. Tara could understand if Willow chose to keep the nature of their relationship a secret, this was not about coming out though, it was simply a question of letting Tara be a part of her world, the issue of coming out could be dealt with later. Much as she feared to rock the boat Tara knew she had to let Willow know how she was feeling, she had to trust her own judgement that Willow would understand.

“I wonder where she is.” Willow’s voice broke the silence.

“Who? Faith?”

“Yeah, I wish she would make a move,” Willow frowned, “she is making my stomach all acidy.”

“But you think Buffy can handle her.”

“I think so,” Willow sat up as she spoke, “but that doesn’t mean Faith won’t hurt someone else.”

“Well, you should be safe,” Tara knew that Willow’s fear was for her friends rather than for herself but somehow it seemed here was an opportunity to raise what was on her mind, “nobody knows you are here.” Maybe now was not the time but she just had to get her feelings into the open, “I mean, they d-don’t even know I exist, right? I know all about them but..” Tara’s voice trailed off leaving the last part unsaid.

“Hey,” Willow moved closer, placing her hand on Tara’s knee to comfort her. How had she not seen this? Here she was involved in the most wonderful relationship of her life and she hadn’t even thought about how Tara would feel at being treated like a guilty secret.

“I-I mean, t-that’s totally cool. It it’s good. It it’s better.” Tara hung her head as she spoke softly, her courage failing her as she worried that she was pushing willow too hard.

“Tara, it’s not like I don’t want my friends to know you. It’s just,” Willow searched for the right words, to let Tara know it was nothing to do with shame or any lack of commitment on her part, “well, Buffy’s like my best friend, and she’s really special, and there’s this whole bunch of us, and we sort of have this group thing that revolves around the slaying, and-and I, I really want you to meet them, but I kind of like having something that’s just, you know, mine. And I, I usually don’t use so many words to say stuff that little, but do you get that at all?” Willow waited anxiously for Tara’s reaction, praying that the blonde could understand how special their love was for Willow.

“I do.” It was such a small phrase but Tara truly did understand, Willow may have struggled with the words but it was the most beautiful thing Tara had ever heard. The raw emotion behind Willow’s words had made clear just how much she valued what they had and Tara could not recall ever feeling so wanted or special in her life. If only she could let Willow know just how well she had understood.

Willow stood and moved towards the telephone, “I should check in with Giles, get a situation update.” Willow wanted to explain herself further but she needed to know what was happening before she could give Tara her undivided attention

In a blinding flash it occurred to Tara, she had to give herself to Willow if she wanted those feelings returned, “I am, you know.”

“What?” Willow was confused, had there been a question in her babbling that she had not recognised herself?

“Yours.” Tara poured every ounce of herself into that one word, her eyes locked onto Willow’s seeking confirmation that her love had understood.

Willow smiled at Tara as the realisation of what had been said started to sink in, there was no ambiguity in the words, Tara was hers and she knew in her heart that she was Tara’s, she had only to say the words. “Tara I,” she began but could not think of how to express what she was feeling, “we should talk,” she smiled to re-assure Tara she meant a good talk not a heavy talk, “I just should get this call out of the way first so I won’t be distracted.”

“Ok,” Tara acquiesced, she had seen the sparkle in those green eyes as she had made her commitment and knew that her instincts had been right. Talking wasn’t necessary but that was just the way Willow was wired, she needed to put into words the things that Tara felt could be expressed in a look or a touch. Talking could be fun though she decided, and it could lead to somewhere Tara might want to go if, as she suspected, Willow wanted to return her feelings.

“Dammit,” Willow rudely interrupted Tara’s train of thought, “Giles wants me to head over right now, he has some news.” Willow began to pace around the room in agitation, “Tara I am sorry, please understand I want to stay, I mean I really want to stay, but I have to go.”

“Willow,” Tara stood and held up her hand to stop Willow in her tracks, “I will still be here when you get b-back, you need to do this, I understand.”

“I promise I will be back as soon as I can,” Willow vowed as she slipped on her jacket and moved towards the door, “there is so much I want to say…”

“I am not going anywhere,” Tara re-assured her, “this is p-part of who you are, you need to know if your friends are ok.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Willow smiled as she hugged Tara and then followed the hug with a quick kiss before reluctantly parting and heading out of the door.

……………………………………………………….

Willow broke into a run as she reached Tara’s dorm building, taking the steps two at a time in her eagerness to see the other girl. The trip to Giles had been worth it to hear that Faith was out of commission and all was safe for the gang again, now she really could focus on giving Tara everything she deserved and she was determined to do just that. On arriving at Tara’s door she recalled their earlier conversation and simply walked in without knocking to be greeted by the sight of a startled Tara just about to fall off the bed in her surprise.

Tara had been meditating as she waited for Willow and had achieved a near trance state just as the door to her room opened, the shock caused her to jump in alarm and sat near to the edge of the bed as she was she began to overbalance towards the floor below. This is going to hurt thought Tara as she realised her centre of gravity was too far gone to recover, bracing herself for the impact she was pleasantly surprised to feel surprisingly strong arms catching her just in the nick of time.

“I got you baby,” Willow confirmed as she helped Tara regain her balance on the bed, “knocking doesn’t seem such a bad idea now does it?”

“I knew you would c-catch me,” Tara lied breathlessly, “and wow, you are stronger than I thought.”

“Hey, cool monster fighter remember,” Willow chided as she sat next to Tara on the bed, “besides, appearances can be deceiving.”

“Not always,” Tara disagreed, “you appear to be p-perfect and oh my gosh you are.”

“Flatterer,” Willow teased as she felt herself blush at the compliment, “not that I mind, in fact keep it up and you might get a very special reward.”

“I like the sound of that,” Tara enthused, “I am guessing with the g-good mood and all that Giles had good news?”

“Best news,” Willow confirmed, “Faith is off the streets and Sunnydale is safe for the non-psychotic once more.”

“So you can stay now?” Tara asked as she slipped her arms around Willow’s waist drawing her in close.

“I can and I will but before we get distracted I have some things I need to say to you.”

“Willow, you d-don’t need to, it’s ok.”

“I want to though,” Willow placed her hands on Tara’s shoulders as she spoke and looked into her eyes, “you have given me so much and not really asked for anything in return. I need to let you know how I feel.”

“I think I know,” Tara wanted to hear the words but she wouldn’t make this hard on Willow.

“Maybe you do but you deserve to hear it anyway, I should have done this sooner but this is so new to me,” Willow sighed, “when we spoke earlier I realised how much I have taken you for granted, with everything that’s happened between us and I have never really told you how I feel about you.”

“Words d-don’t matter,” Tara knew this to be true, “I can see it in your eyes, feel it in your touch.”

“I hope so,” Willow smiled into blue eyes, “I hope you can see and feel how much I love you because I do,” Tara’s eyes widened in delighted surprise at the words, “I love you Tara MaClay,” Willow had to say it again to make sure the message got home.

“Oh Willow, I l-love you too.” Tara could feel the prickling of tears, happy tears, in the corners of her eyes.

“So we love each other,” Willow confirmed, “I hoped but know we now,” she felt her own tears forming as she realised the breakthrough they had made, “can you be kissing me now?”

“Oh yes,” Tara agreed as she leaned forward and captured Willow’s lips.

Willow sank into the kiss and for a few minutes let her thoughts drift as she enjoyed the sensation of being together with her girlfriend but slowly an idea formed at the back of her mind until she could keep quiet no longer. Gently breaking away from the kiss she posed the question on her mind, “Do you dance?”

“What?” Tara’s struggled to make sense of Willow’s question through the fog of desire that was rapidly clouding her mind.

“I was thinking,” Willow explained, “the night is still pretty young and we have plenty of time and so maybe, if you want to, we could go to the Bronze? I just feel like dancing with my girlfriend.” She concluded with a winning smile.

“Um, I think so, I mean I can d-dance, but in public, not so much,” Tara thought for a moment, “I think I want to though.”

“Great, get your boogie shoes then and let me show you a good time.”

“Ok,” suddenly excited at the idea Tara stood to get her things together before she realised what Willow had just said. “I am your g-girlfriend?” She asked with a shy smile, wanting to hear the words again.

“Of course silly,” Willow laughed, “I don’t just tell every girl I meet I am in love with them,” sensing Tara’s need to hear the words she continued, “you are my girlfriend and I am the luckiest girl in the world, now let’s get to dancing.”

…………………………………………………………….

Willow closed the curtains and moved towards the cushions Tara had placed on the floor of her room for the ritual, this was the most advanced spell they had tried and she needed a clear mind but the whirl of her thoughts would not subside or give her peace. In amongst those thoughts was her fear for Buffy and what it might be that had possessed her, that was after all the reason for the spell but she needed to get over it and focus. Guiltily she recognised that her fears for Buffy were only part and not even the major part of what was distracting her, mostly the distraction was blonde, blue eyed and sitting inches away from her.

This evening she had made a major breakthrough in her relationship with Tara, putting into words the feelings that she had already been expressing through her actions, the words themselves had made things more real and had somehow cleared the way for them to progress to the next stage. The decision to go to the Bronze had been partly borne from a rush of energy and happiness that demanded she get up and do something and partly from a desire to demonstrate to Tara that she was starting to be ready to go public about their friendship if not their relationship. On the way to the Bronze she had already begun to regret her decision, the sight and scent of Tara beside her made her want to turn around and run back to this room and explore just how far this next step had taken them.

Her head told her that Buffy needed her to focus now, her friend was relying on her to be there for her but her heart, her heart was telling her that it could wait no longer and so her head spun with conflicting emotions. Tara approached her, ready to begin the ritual and the confusion only increased, part of her was focusing on the incantation she needed to repeat whilst a separate, louder, part of her, focused on the sweet scent and of the girl beside her and the rich promise in those sultry blue eyes. Willow stifled a groan as Tara prepared to anoint her and forced herself to squash down all of the inappropriate feelings raging in her mind, seeking an inner calm for the ritual ahead. Momentarily composed she awaited Tara’s touch and then almost recoiled at the electricity that shot through her when Tara’s fingers brushed her skin, concentration scattered and she was lost in a sea of images of blue eyes, soft white skin and long blonde hair. Sinking onto the cushion she was only vaguely aware of the ritual words she had begun to speak as she felt herself swamped by arousal so overpowering that it allowed no rational thought.

…………………………………………………….

Tara fretted to herself as she checked that she had prepared everything correctly for the ritual, this was powerful magic and she could not afford to make a mistake. A voice inside questioned why she had even suggested this but she knew that she had to help Willow help Buffy, she simply could not bare the thought of Willow being hurt and surely she would be if her friend suffered and they did nothing to help. Her biggest concern was her own self-control, she was by far the more experienced Witch and yet the usual calm, almost trancelike state that she assumed when casting lay far beyond her reach. Tara again tried to centre her emotions and was amazed to find that she could not close out the images of red hair, green eyes and the subtle hint of perfume she associated with Willow.

The events of the day had thrown her emotions for a loop, the barrier to her desire that she had protected herself with had been torn down by Willow’s declaration of love and she had been ready to give in utterly to the pull of her heart. When Willow had suggested dancing she had agreed because it seemed almost to be a celebration of their feelings but she had already been thinking of later, when they would return here to bed, but not to sleep. Tara still wasn’t sure just where her desire would lead her but she was ready to find out and now that Pandora’s box was opened there seemed no way to close it again. Willow filled her thoughts and senses and there would be no rest from these feelings until they were given expression.

Still in turmoil Tara faced Willow ready to anoint her and begin the ritual, desperate for a way to back out but unable to think of any way to stop what was happening. Tara was painfully aware that her feelings of desire and arousal were overwhelming her and she knew that Willow would feel everything she felt once the ritual began. The power of the magic they were working was such that the connection between them would be absolute, they would be completely open to one another and nothing could be hidden. Crossing the point of no return Tara reached out to Willow, even in this moment unable to exert any self-control, and as she touched Willow’s skin she felt the full charge of her emotions flow through that contact. Sitting alongside Willow and beginning the incantation she realised with a sense of shock that the flow of sexual energy through the contact had gone both ways, the feelings of desire she had experienced in that touch had been Willow’s and not a reflection of her own desire as she had first thought. The connection pulsed and grew stronger as they repeated the words in unison and Tara barely managed to hold onto any semblance of conscious thought as the intense feelings of arousal flowed between them.


“The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.
The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.”

Willow could feel the perspiration running down her body and felt her breath coming in ragged gasps as the ritual intensified, opening herself up to the flow of the magics as she must for the spell to work, she felt the surge of almost primal desire and passion flow back and forth through her connection to Tara. To reach the nether realm Willow had to lower every defence and so she was unable to block out any of the feelings even had she wanted to and as the power of the magics grew she felt her body physically responding to the arousal the spell was creating.

Tara felt buffeted by the waves of desire that flowed through her connection to Willow, the power of the passion between them was near overwhelming and the spell was acting to amplify the feelings further. Tara could not give in to those feelings if she was to anchor Willow and she must, the spell was beyond dangerous if she let herself go at this point and yet nothing in her life had been harder than this. The raw passion and arousal that flowed between them threatened to sweep away any semblance of control and she could feel her body shiver with pleasure as the waves of feeling tore through her.

“The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.
The inward eye, the sightless sea.
Ayala flows through the river in me.”

Willow felt consciousness slipping away from her as the ritual built steadily towards its peak, the circle of light was opening the gateway and she could feel herself crossing over to the nether realm. Within the ritual the sexual charge that flowed through her contact to Tara increased with the power of the magic, unable to control her reactions as she opened herself up to the magic she felt herself fall back onto the cushion, the connection so powerful now that it was beyond the need for physical contact. Willow was aware of the sensations coursing through her body as it built towards a peak of it’s own in time with the ritual, she was powerless now to stop it or even to care as waves of pleasure and ecstasy crashed through her.

Tara continued to feel everything that Willow felt through the connection but still battled to retain some control as she felt the other girl losing consciousness and crossing over. She was painfully aroused and desperately needed release but could not give in to the sensations or they both could be lost. Through eyes heavy with desire she watched Willow fall back and saw the convulsions that rippled through her body as she gave up all control, Tara longed to join her but denial was vital as this was the most dangerous moment of all. The journey to the nether realm would take only moments in real time and as she felt Willow’s spirit depart she was already focusing on calling her back. Exhausted by the ritual and it’s unexpected side effects she held tight to the connection and called out to Willow, guiding her back from her journey and into the safety of the circle. She felt a shiver through the connection as Willow returned to the earthly plane and finally able to relax her concentration she slumped forward onto the ground as darkness took her.

…………………………………………………….

Willow slowly opened her eyes as consciousness returned and was met by the soft glow of the fairy lights and candles, disoriented for a moment by the effects of the spell she could not remember where she was or what she had been doing. Turning her face to the side she caught sight of Tara and the last lingering effects of the magical connection between them pulsed as a memory of the feelings she had experienced in the ritual returned. Feeling herself respond to the desire Willow reached out to the still form beside her, memories flooding back as she recognised that the desire and arousal had been there long before the magic and would be there long after the magic was gone. The electric sensation that coursed through her at the first contact with Tara’s skin made her shiver, she wanted this and she knew in her heart she could not deny her desire any longer.

Tara had felt consciousness slip away from her as the ritual had been completed and her body had given it to the wave of exhaustion that the draining effect of casting always brought. Swimming back toward the surface Tara was dimly aware that Willow was stirring beside her and even as she opened her eyes she felt that last tiny ripple through the magical connection that had joined them and felt her body shiver in response. The memory of the spell reminded her of all of the feelings she had experienced and of the fact that she had been forced to deny herself any sense of release in order to complete the ritual safely. The exhaustion slipped away from her in an instant as the remembrance of her unsatisfied need brought with it a fresh, powerful wave of desire for the girl beside her. Tara could not fight the passion in her heart any longer, she was ready to give everything to Willow and take as much as was offered, turning to face her love she shivered again as she felt Willow reach out and touch her.

Feeling Tara respond to her touch Willow rolled over and positioned herself over the blonde, pinning her to the floor, then dipping her head she captured Tara’s lips with her own, kissing gently and then more passionately as her hunger grew. The feel of their bodies pressed together igniting the desire inside her she ran her hands over Tara’s body, feeling every curve and swell of the beautiful form beneath her. Tara moaned into her mouth, her own arousal growing at the touch of Willow hands on her body, her back arching slightly at the sensations coursing through her.

Emboldened Willow found her hands moving to the hem of Tara’s shirt, eager now to experience contact without the barrier of clothes she moved her hands inside the fabric, delighting in the sensation of touching skin. The warmth beneath her hands only increased her sense of abandon and her hands moved higher, touching lace and feeling the soft swell of flesh beneath. Pulling up from the kiss Willow eased Tara into a sitting position and began to lift the shirt, eager to remove the obstruction. Finally conscious of what she was doing she paused and caught Tara’s gaze, seeking confirmation that this was ok.

Tara sensed Willow’s hesitation and unable to speak she simply placed her hands over Willow’s and helped lift the shirt, briefly registering Willow’s broad smile as she received the consent she sought before her view was obscured by the shirt passing over her head. Now sure of what they wanted they eased apart slightly and began to undress one another slowly between swift kisses and appreciative glances, Tara’s shirt joined in a pile to the side of where they lay by the rest of their clothes until only the final barrier of their underwear remained. Pausing to drink in the sight of one another they moved again into an embrace, passion flaring between them as they exchanged kiss after kiss, hands exploring and teasing but still stopping short of true intimacy.

Willow again found herself driven to new heights of daring by the passion Tara’s form aroused, lips locked together she eased one hand up to the clasp of Tara’s bra and opened it. Tara stiffened slightly as she felt the material part and Willow pulled back slightly, again searching Tara’s eyes for a sign that she should stop or continue. Tara gave the slightest nod of encouragement and felt Willow’s hands move to her shoulders, gently easing the straps down her arms until she was fully exposed. Tara waited for Willow’s touch or another kiss but the redhead seemed frozen, catching her gaze Tara realised Willow was transfixed by what she had revealed, definitely a breast gal thought Tara as she succumbed to her own desire to reveal Willow.

Once more they pressed together into an embrace, shivering at the contact of bare skin as they moved together, sharing kisses, drunk on passion. Tara felt Willow’s hand slide between them and search out the twin objects of her desire, feeling a thrill of arousal as Willow reached her goal and began to caress and then tease. Tara felt her body shuddering with pleasure as she hungrily sank into another kiss, beginning to lose all sense of control. Willow broke contact suddenly and eased Tara to her feet before leading her across to the bed where she again positioned herself above Tara, focused now as she sensed the reaction her touch was bringing. Tara longed to return Willow’s caresses but for now the redhead was in the driving seat and she could only give in to the building surge of ecstasy her touch was bringing.

Willow gave Tara one last kiss before moving slowly downward, pausing to kiss and bite at the blonde’s neck before continuing on to her ultimate destination. Tara gasped as Willow’s hands were replaced by her lips, sucking and nibbling at her sensitive flesh and driving her on to new heights. Tara felt Willow’s hands moving further down her body, caressing and exploring until they reached the last remaining barrier. Without conscious thought Tara eased her legs slightly apart and felt Willow hook her hands inside the material before sliding the flimsy cotton down her legs. In moments Willow’s hands were returning, running gently up the inside of her calves and then her thighs, nearing their final destination.

Tara felt herself lost in sea of ecstasy as Willow finally touched her centre, her body was awash with sensation as Willow’s fingers and lips coaxed her towards release. The feeling was unlike anything Tara had known and she was only dimly aware of her own cries of passion as her climax approached. She knew that she was calling out Willow’s name over and over as her body arched and writhed in ecstasy, responding to her lover’s touch. Slowly the waves of pleasure subsided and she felt her body go limp as a sense of incredible relaxation spread through her. Spent for the moment she felt Willow move beside her and they shared another kiss, slower and more sensual as she bathed in the afterglow.

“Willow that w-was,” Tara could not put it into words, “your hands, I felt so, and your lips,” Tara sighed, “it was b-better than I dreamed.”

Willow smiled with delight at Tara’s words, “so I was good baby?”

“You were good,” Tara confirmed, “b-better than good, in fact you deserve a reward.”

“Do I?” Willow’s smile grew even wider, “what did you have in mind?”

“K-kiss me and find out.”

Tara gently ran her hands over Willow’s body as they lay together and slowly the kissing became more passionate again as now Willow’s need became their focus. Tara rolled Willow onto her back and slowly began to imitate the caresses that she herself had received, marvelling at the desire she felt building in herself again as Willow responded enthusiastically to her touch. Willow was already highly aroused from touching Tara and it seemed like only moments before her breathing grew ragged as she gave in to the pleasure of Tara’s touch. Swiftly Tara released Willow’s lips and began to kiss her way down the redheads body, her hands already moving to remove the unwanted lace panties as Willow opened up to her. Tara felt the hot wetness surround her fingers as she stroked and teased and felt Willow writhe against her as her passion mounted. Willow entwined her fingers in Tara’s hair as passion overtook her and as the waves of ecstasy rolled through her she was blissfully unaware that her own cries of passion were far louder than Tara’s had been.

“Ohmygod Tara,” Willow finally found she could speak again as the shivering of her body subsided.

“Willow, was it ok?”

“It was more thank ok Tara, it was,” Willow was as lost for words as Tara had been before her, “I mean, it was wow, it was ohmygod I never knew it could be this good.”

“You mean b-better than before?” Tara knew Willow had experience that she didn’t share, did she dare compare?

“Tara I swear, I never felt anything like that before.”

“You think,” Tara tried to find the right way to ask what was on her mind, “because this t-time was with a girl?”

“No,” Willow answered softly, “I think because this time it was with you.”

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WILLOW: Ooh, pancakes could go in bellies.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 9:18 pm 
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ETA DIBS!!!

Oooooh RH... so nice.

Quote:
"Tara I swear, I never felt anything like that before.”

“You think,” Tara tried to find the right way to ask what was on her mind, “because this t-time was with a girl?”

“No,” Willow answered softly, “I think because this time it was with you.”


Sweet.

I hope you realise you worried needlessly about writing this update? 'Cos it's just fine. You've captured their growing feelings for each other and their uncertainties, and filled in around the 'I am you know, yours.' scene plus the nether realms spell beautifully. I liked the way you showed Tara's thoughts and motivations for saying what she did, when she did.

The mutual declarations of love opening the gates to their intimacy is just right, and having their pent up emotions imbuing the nether realms spell with their desire (rather than the spell causing 'that' reaction all by itself) seems so much more plausible than canon.

You've given me a lovely read to fill my lunch time. Looking forward to more.
Anne

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 9:34 pm 
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I'm sure that I won't be the only one to say that you should definitely write more smut into your story... :D

Your hard work and bravery shows and it payed off big time. And the Flaming O Spell?? Left me kinda tingly.

Bravo, Kudos and all that good stuff. :applause

I have a big ol' soft spot for Season 4 stories and I'm loving every word of this one. Hell, I'm even enjoying the punctuation.

Thanks!

Del


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:33 pm 
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Wow. That was beautiful. :heart

I think the last few lines sum it up perfectly.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:47 am 
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Woah! Willow and Tara loving! Hehe, you were afraid on nothing, this was well written. I'm not really a fan of huge details on smut myself... So this... it was close to perfect! I just love your fic... could never get enough of Willow and Tara... Now I guess... Oz be here soon right? I'm sure you can write that as wonderfully as you have written the rest.

Update soon?

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 12:42 pm 
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Well that was fantastic! I just read up from Chapter 4 to the end so far, and I LOVED it. So true to canon while staying so original! And I echo what others have said, RaspberryHats, about your smut - it was fantastic and there's no call for you to feel insecure because it was GREAT.

The thing I really noticed was how well you write the inner thoughts of the girls and the rising tension that they're feeling when they're making out and trying to control themselves - it was palpable and very descriptive and perfect, I thought. Very true to how people feel in real life.

Willow's a real slug-a-bed. I can relate! :)

Looking so forward to the next installment. Oh, one more thing! I'm also impressed by how MUCH you write in each update. They're very substantial and long which is great - I love to read every word and never feel like "wait, I want more" (well, I do feel that way, but not because the updates are too short). I'm impressed at how much you write.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 3:22 pm 
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Hey there,
Well I got to catch up on a few updates. Very well written. I think that your pacing and introspection is excellent. You do a really wonderful job of presenting a conflict without dwelling on it unnecessarily. The girls feel so strongly and it's very apparent to the reader.

Now to a few quite picky thing.

1. Tara's last name is Maclay. There's no capital letter in it.

2. I would disagree that the girl's first time was in Who Are You? It has been publicly stated in interviews that their first time together was prior to that episode. Personally, I suspect it of being in the episode with the Dolls Eye (which I can never remember the name of).

3. It's my personal opinion that Willow had not told Tara that she loves her until the end of NMR. Tara doesn't tell Willow that she has to be with the person she loves "the most." She says Willow should be with the person she loves, implying that she does not believe that Willow loves her.

Like I said, picky but that's me... Very well written.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:32 pm 
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Hi!

Truly a wonderful update. You have nothing to be worried about with this post as the scene was done tastefully. It was very well written and rating wise, I would say probably an "R" rating. I really like how you had Willow being so conscious of Tara's reactions. That was a very nice touch that shows how much she respects what Tara is feeling.

I do have one comment: Willow was rather certain of herself with what she was doing. She had never been with a girl before, so I thought maybe she would be a bit unsure. Just a thought. Then again, Willow is research gal.

Regardless of that comment, I look forward to seeing what you do with this as you continue. I am really looking forward to the timeframe of Willow's coming out. The show didn't have too much reaction-wise, so I am wondering what you will do with it. Basically, they showed Buffy's freak out and Xander's "Tara's you girlfriend?!" I hope you flesh that part out more, as well as the Scooby gang adjusting to Willow with a girlfriend, as I wish they had done with the show.

I confess that I am delighted whenever I see an update for this story. Keep up the great work.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 8:13 am 
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That was really amazing to read. Wonderful job :x . Love sam xx

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:16 pm 
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I thought I would reply to some of the feedback before posting Chapter Ten which will follow in a few minutes. I have to say I love all of the feedback and thanks to everyone who has posted.


SallyMcFine I am glad you like the size of the updates, I was a little worried that I was overwriting some of the scenes and taking too long to get to the point so you answered that worry for me. I have another story due to start after this one is completed and it is far larger in scale so it's encouraging that big updates are appreciated.

spells42, Krokador & DelWhicker Thanks for your comments on the love scene, it was difficult to write and went through several agonising re-writes. I might just write a little more now that I have your assurance that it wasn't completely laughable, maybe an Extra Flamey scene would be appropriate.

JustSkipIt I like picky comments, I won't improve without them so they are always welcome. I totally dropped the ball on Tara's name, I blame it on too many Scottish relatives.

I did do a lot of research on the issue of when the girls first time ought to be, the threads on this board provided most of the information. I came to the conclusion, after reading many valid points and the massively contradictory statements of Joss et al, that there is no right answer. I may be very wrong about that but in the end I just decided to place the event where it best served this story.

Your final point is a good one and I might have written myself into a bit of a corner with that one but as ever I blame Willow and Tara, they said it not me. I will just need to get my thinking cap on to explain how that fits with the New Moon Rising scenes.

Willow~Rosenberg Willow's confidence in the love scene was in some way due to the nature of the scene itself, the way the girls act almost instinctively after sharing their feelings through the spell. It was also part of one of the main reasons for writing this fic. I know a lot of other season 4 fics exist and there are many far better than this one. I wanted specifically to write a version where Willow is the one pursuing Tara and making most of the first moves. I thought that as Tara was likely to assume Willow was straight in view of her past relationships, it was unlikely that when you add in Tara's shyness that she would ever make the first move. It's just an idea but I like the idea of Willow being far more certain of what she wants and who she is beneath the surface and that was part of what I wanted this story to bring out.

Everybodyelse Thank you for posting, you make it worthwhile :x

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WILLOW: Ooh, pancakes could go in bellies.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:24 pm 
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Disclaimer Characters and situations are the property of Joss and Mutant Enemy. Spelling and punkchooayshun are all mine.

Background Season 4. Willow and Tara sitting in a tree. This takes place during the episode Superstar.

Feedback As ever, feedback of any kind is much appreciated.


Between The Lines


Chapter Ten – The Price


Tara sat in the chair in her dorm room, sketchpad in hand, watching her Willow sleep on the bed, bathed in the late afternoon sunshine. Considering the way the redhead had flaked out yet again she pondered the nature of Willow’s appetites, so far she had shown that she was insatiable when it came to food and apparently sleep also, Tara hoped that was true of all her appetites. It seemed as though Willow could do nothing half heartedly, the speed and relish with which she devoured food, the never ending thirst for knowledge, it seemed as though she was possessed with a need to sample and devour everything life had to offer. Willow’s full throttle approach to life and all it’s adventures was another one of the things to love about her Tara decided, that took her list of Willow’s loveable points way beyond her ability to count using just her fingers and toes, maybe she could use Willow’s fingers and toes too?

Sleepy Willow was not exactly what Tara had had in mind when they returned to her room earlier that afternoon but on reflection she was enjoying this opportunity to organise her thoughts and take stock of the whirl of events of the last 48 hours. Of course the opportunity to think things over was made far more pleasant by the lovely vision stretched out on her bed, the sight of Willow sleeping bathed in the light was a tonic for her eyes. The thoughts drifting through her mind were all happy ones and that in itself was an unusual state of being for Tara, if she could freeze a moment of her life in time this might just be that moment. The intimacy that she had shared with Willow in this room during the previous night had been the realisation of a dream she had held for as long as she could remember, to find someone that she could love and who would love her in return.

Tara had wanted to explore this new side to their relationship further but all thoughts of a more intimate nature had been put on hold by the need to help Buffy. They had fallen asleep after making love last night but the rest had been short lived, Willow waking both of them as she remembered what she had seen on her journey to the nether realm. Neither girl had commented on the reason Willow had failed to recall the details of her journey until that moment, Willow had clearly been distressed when she remembered what she had seen but thankfully Tara had known what to do and they had conjured the Katra Buffy needed to regain possession of her own body. The urgency of the situation had meant that as soon as the spell was complete they had set off to find Buffy and so finally Tara had been introduced to some of Willow’s friends.

Tara reflected on that initial meeting, it was not the way she had imagined meeting Willow’s friends for the first time and there had been little opportunity to talk or get to know them as they had to catch Faith before she left town for good. Buffy had naturally been pre-occupied with her own problems and so had only paused to offer brief but clearly heartfelt thanks to Tara once Willow had explained her role in solving the mystery of Faith’s body swap. Tara felt instinctively that she would like Buffy if they got the chance to really talk, hopefully now Buffy knew of her existence they would have that chance.

Mr Giles was more of a mystery, he was clearly a lot more than just an out of work librarian, Willow had told her as much, but there was a definite agenda behind the few words he had exchanged with Tara. He seemed pleasant enough but was quite obviously concerned about the extent of Willow’s involvement with magic and Tara’s role in encouraging that. Willow had not mentioned any tensions over the subject but Tara got the distinct impression that Mr Giles would prefer Willow to find a new interest and she had felt as though she were being interrogated when he spoke despite his polite and gentle manner. It was probably just concern for Willow rather than any personal mistrust of her she concluded, Mr Giles obviously felt some sort of pseudo parental obligation to Willow and her friends and he was just trying to do what he thought was best. To be honest he was right to be cautious of magic, Tara knew just how dangerous it could be and in truth that was a message Willow did not seem overly keen to hear.

“The bunnies have shotguns!”

Ah the dream babbling, another of Willow’s many lovable points and Tara hoped, a sign that she was beginning to awake from her afternoon nap, sleepy Willow was not quite as much fun as wide awake Willow could be. Tara had been hoping for a repeat of last night’s events without the magic or rather with only the magic of the feelings they held for one another. Something inside her had changed and she had willingly given in to the passion between them but on reflection she had to admit she was surprised both by Willow’s boldness and the sureness of her touch, if she was the suspicious type she might even suspect that she was not Willow’s first but she was not and so simply chalked that up to Willow’s research skills.

The changes in their relationship were all good ones, Willow had used the L word, had said they were girlfriends and finally they had felt able to lower their defences and be completely intimate with one another. Tara was certain of Willow’s sincerity but still could not fully accept that the other girl loved her, Willow might think she did but Willow was impulsive and for Tara there were still a few questions to be answered. The ghost of relationships past still haunted her, the jibes about Oz made by Faith when they had met her at the Bronze had cut deep and whilst Willow was trying to move on it was clear that much was unresolved with her former boyfriend and it was unlikely that he would not return to Sunnydale at some point.

“The buildings are changing into coconut trees.”

Willow was definitely stirring and Tara could feel a stirring of another kind as she looked at the ravishing figure before her, with Faith out of the way she was pretty certain that Willow would stay with her tonight and she had plenty of ideas to fill the time. It might be nice to go out at some point, maybe to eat as food had slipped their minds for most of the last 24 hours, she couldn’t stretch to anything fancy but she liked the idea of taking Willow out. As Willow yawned and stretched, her slender figure revealed as her clothes pulled taut, Tara decided that maybe she would order food in if they got hungry, going out would get in the way of what she really wanted this evening.

Green eyes popped open and drank in their surroundings before settling on Tara where she still sat, “Hey you,” Willow sleepily greeted Tara and broke into a huge smile, “why so far away from me?”

“I was j-just sitting, letting you ah catch up with your sleep.”

“I am all caught up now,” Willow sat up and beckoned to Tara, “now why don’t you come over here and show me what else this bed is for.”

……………………………………………………………………

Willow was very impressed with herself, from the weakness of the light it was only just past dawn and here she was wide-awake, the same could not be said for the curvy blonde snuggling against her. The law of averages had finally cut her a break and she was up before Tara, got you Maclay she thought to herself, lets see how you like it. Oh yes, revenge was sweet and she was going to take revenge on Tara for all those times the blonde had tugged the covers off her, ignoring her protests, and insisted she get ready for class. It was a nice thought but first Willow just wanted to enjoy the sensation of being snuggled with Tara as the sun rose, her first real opportunity to lie here and watch Tara as she slept as so far she had always been first to sleep and last to rise herself.

Tara truly looked like an angel as she slept, blonde hair fanned out on the pillow, the little worry lines that often creased her brow absent in sleep and her lips tantalisingly slightly parted. The covers had slipped down a little in the night and even more tantalising than those parted lips was the creamy white skin that was on show, both girls now having dropped the pyjama wearing habit when they slept together. So far Willow had seen Tara naked only by the light of candles and her fairy lights and that was a shadowy light at best, curiosity had always been a fault of Willow’s and right now the teasing sight of Tara’s skin was sending that curiosity into overdrive.

Feeling more than a little naughty Willow tentatively lifted the covers a fraction and shifted her gaze to look at the figure of the woman beside her. The sight before her made her heart beat faster and her breath catch in her throat, Tara really was a picture of perfection. Hungrily her eyes took in every detail and contour, the perfect shape and skin tone, the soft welcoming curves, especially the curves. Willow had always believed that she envied girls with figures like Tara but with the acceptance of her own sexuality she realised it was more than envy, she was a breast gal and Tara was no disappointment in that area. In comparison Willow felt pretty inadequate, she had not given too much thought to the topic before now but it was hard to see what Tara found so attractive in her, she didn’t have much in the way of curves, even Xander had bigger breasts than she did.

Willow tugged the covers swiftly back into place as she felt Tara stirring and guiltily looked away as if afraid that Tara might catch her peeking. Holding her breath for a moment she waited but Tara only let out a soft murmur and snuggled again, clearly still clinging to sleep. As the fear of being caught in the act left her Willow focused on the wall where her gaze rested, the collage of Jonathon cuttings she had helped Tara with last night. Jonathon was wonderful, he had been amazing in clearing out that vamp nest last night and yet even as she thought it she could hear a voice in the back of her mind telling her something was wrong. She felt guilty for thinking it but for some reason it seemed she shouldn’t be crazy about Jonathon at all and neither should Tara or any of her friends. Willow shook her head and as quickly as the feeling had arrived it was gone; she must have imagined that sense of wrongness. In fact she was taking Tara to the Bronze tonight with the gang and she had kept secret the fact that Jonathon would be there, as she wanted to see the surprise and delight on Tara’s face when he took the stage.

Turning again to face the angel beside her she felt a happy glow at the thought of her plans coming together, she was going to give Tara great night out and also give her friends the chance to get to know Tara a little better. If she was ever going to find the courage to admit the nature of her relationship she was sure it would be far easier if the people that mattered to her had already accepted Tara. Snuggling closer to the blonde she decide that she would just enjoy a few more minutes of snuggles before getting up, Tara would never know what had hit her she smirked to herself as she imagined the surprise her lover was going to get when she woke her.

“Willow,” Tara’s soft voice broke through the haze of dreams, “hey s-sleepyhead, you have class this morning.”

“No,” Willow groaned in frustration, she had fallen asleep again and now Tara was awake before her, again.

“Sorry Willow, it’s for your own good,” Tara’s voice was firm as she stood over her girlfriend, assuming Willow’s protests were a sign of her usual reluctance to get up.

“I know it’s just,” Willow shook her head to clear her mind, “this is so unfair, I was awake first and I had this whole thing planned.”

“Um W-Willow, you were still asleep when I woke.”

“I was awake but I just thought I would snuggle a bit and then I must have fallen asleep again,” Willow’s protests ended in a pout.

“Maybe you dreamt it baby,” Tara offered brightly, “you know that sounds more believable than you w-waking up first.” Tara knew she was teasing but Willow was so adorable when she was cross.

“I didn’t,” Willow’s voice grew louder, “it was early and you were all with the snoozing and I was looking at you and..”

“L-looking at me?” Tara raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

“Oh no, not in like a bad way, nuh uh,” Willow blushed furiously as she shook her head, “just you know, looking,” she added lamely.

“Willow it’s ok to look,” Tara giggled at Willow’s obvious embarrassment.

“It is?”

“What d-did we do last night? Or the night before?” Tara could not conceal her amusement.

“I guess I never thought of it that way,” Willow answered, “so you don’t mind if I
look at you?” Like even if I wanted to right now?”

“Well right now we b-both have class to get ready for,” Tara replied and giggled again, “but otherwise sure, I d-don’t mind you looking, or touching,” she added with a smile.

“I am so not thinking about class right now,” Willow smiled as she swung out of the bed, “still there is always later.”

“Later sounds g-good.”

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” Willow excitedly exclaimed as she hurriedly dressed, “you, me and the gang at the Bronze tonight, you want to come?”

“Oh yes, I want to,” Tara loved that idea, another sign that she was part of Willow’s life now, no more hiding away from Willow’s friends.

“Cool, we can grab something to eat before we go out,” Willow shifted into plan mode, “I could bring pizza when I come to pick you up?”

“Pizza is good,” Tara agreed happily, today was definitely going to be a good day.

……………………………………………………………………………..

This was not quite the night out that Willow had planned, it had started so well but the interruption of that girl running in claiming she had been attacked by some monster at Jonathon’s mansion had killed the atmosphere. Buffy had left with Jonathon and the girl to figure out what had happened and left strict instructions for Willow and Tara to wait for her to come back before walking home. Sitting waiting with Tara was not a bad thing but the Bronze was hardly party central anymore with most of the crowd having gone and Willow would rather be back in Tara’s room doing something a little more interesting. Tara had at least seemed to enjoy the evening up until the drama started and she had got to spend some time with the gang which was important to Willow, very important if she was ever going to be able to come out to her closest friends.

“You think B-Buffy will be much longer?” Tara was not entirely sure why they had to wait just because Buffy said so but Willow had acquiesced to the Slayer’s wishes without any argument.

“Um, I hope not,” Willow glanced at her watch, “it’s way past when I wanted to get back.” Willow looked towards the entrance again before continuing, “I am sure she will be here soon, whatever it is Jonathon can handle it.”

“Yes,” Tara agreed almost too quickly, “Jonathon will know what to do.”

For some reason that she could not discern Willow felt that something was not right with this statement, inexplicably she again felt herself questioning why they all had such faith in Jonathon, it made no sense as Jonathon had always served as their protector, maybe she was just tired. Before she could pursue this line of thought any further she caught sight of a slight blonde figure hustling through the entrance and making a beeline for their table.

“Buffy,” Willow called out with a wave, “am I glad to see you, I thought we were going to be sitting here all night.”

“Sorry Will,” the Slayer apologised as she reached her friends, “I guess that means you are ready to get out of here?”

“Very ready,” Willow responded as she slipped off her stool, “you can tell us all about it on the walk back.”

“Ok but not much to tell,” Buffy replied, already turning to head back out, “we should be safe enough to walk back.”

……………………………………………………………..

The three girls trudged along the Campus paths, Tara hanging back ever so slightly as Willow questioned Buffy about the creature that had attacked the girl. They were nearing the turn-off for Tara’s dorm and Willow had not given any indication of what she planned to do when they got there, would she continue on with Buffy to their dorm or did she have some explanation to allow her to go with Tara. It was hardly likely that Willow would choose this moment to tell Buffy that Tara was her girlfriend but maybe that super charged brain would think of some plausible explanation to go with her to her room without arousing Buffy’s suspicions.

Willow felt the anxiety build within her as she recognised they were close to Tara’s turn-off, what should she do? Buffy clearly expected some best friend time tonight, she had not said as much but Willow was getting a distinct vibe that Buffy wanted to talk some more but only once the two of them were alone in their room. She desperately wanted to go back with Tara to her room but how could she explain that to Buffy and make it sound innocent? She was definitely not ready to come out, she was all stay inny she knew, so it seemed the price of keeping her secret would be spending a night without Tara. It was a high price to pay but the choice was hers and she knew that at this point she was not ready to face the alternative and tell Buffy how she truly felt about Tara.

Almost too quickly Tara found herself at the crossroads and the time for parting had come, silently she mouthed a prayer that Willow would somehow contrive a way to come with her but she could not dare push. “Ummm, my exit.” Tara began as both girls stopped to look at her, “Willow, I-I’ll see you tomorrow.” Tara offered a mute plea with her eyes for Willow to contradict her, to tell her she was coming with but even as Willow approached her hope died in her heart.

Willow reached for Tara, recognising the plea behind those soft blue eyes but feeling powerless to do anything, gently touching Tara’s arm for a moment she tried to find some way to explain, to apologise, but there were no words, not whilst Buffy stood so close. “Ok,” she finally said and letting go of Tara’s arm she gave a tight smile and tried desperately to let Tara know with a look how sorry she was to be parting this way. Her heart felt heavy but she had no choice did she? Now simply was not the time to face the truth and so she would suffer the consequences of her cowardice. As Tara turned to go she caught the faint flicker of pain behind her eyes and realised how unfair it was to ask Tara to suffer for her weakness, she would have to do something to make sure this didn’t happen again but just not tonight, surely one night could not hurt.

Tara walked the path to her building with her head down, anxious now to be back in the safety of her room, much as her room seemed empty these days when Willow was not there with her. She could not deny that she was hurt by Willow’s actions but she understood, coming out was going to be a big deal for her and it was not something that she could just blurt out on the spur of the moment. Tara had recognised the signals between Buffy and Willow, she might not know Buffy well but she understood enough about body language to realise that the Slayer wanted to speak to Willow in private. Given the situation Willow had not really had a choice in the matter, much as she felt hurt she had to be fair to Willow now more than ever. In the last few days they had come so far and she knew it was wrong to push for more, so far Willow had not let her down and when the time was right Tara had to believe that she would tell her friends the truth and they could then bring their relationship into the open.

Walking now through the halls of her dorm building Tara was alarmed to hear the sounds of someone moving nearby and quickened her step. Approaching the double doors leading to her hallway she was shocked as the doors flew open to reveal some hideous beast standing there, frozen for a moment in terror she failed to move before the beast backhanded her and she fell heavily to the floor. The beast grasped her and half threw, half pushed her along the ground, it’s claw like hands tearing her skin where it touched her. Terrified she faced the beast towering before her and tried to think of some way to protect herself, the words of a spell sprang to mind as she scrabbled backwards along the floor, keeping a distance between herself and her attacker.

“Sensus, confundomtor, era, ah, pleator, obscurator.” Holding forth her arms smoke flowed toward the beast, momentarily blinding and confusing it, the beast stopped its advance as it waved its arms to try and clear the smoke form it’s vision. Seizing her chance Tara scrabbled back to her feet and began to run, fearing she lacked the speed to outrun the beast and with it blocking the path to her room she dived into an empty janitor’s closet and slammed the door closed before forcing the lock into place. Within moments the beast was banging on the door, seeking entrance as it hungered for its prey. Sliding to the floor Tara felt the terror wash over her again as she prayed that the door would hold against the beast’s pounding. Closing her eyes and burying her face in her hands she tried to reach out, to find the link that the magic had formed between them, willing her voice to be heard she whispered, “Willow, I need you.”

…………………………………………………………………………

Willow sprinted through the halls of Tara’s dorm building, oblivious to the protests of those she barged past in her desperation to get to Tara, the sense of panic rising within her again as she re-played the brief call from Tara in her mind. Buffy had been in the bathroom when the phone had rung, Willow actually managing to get ready before the Slayer for once in the hope that she might get to slip away for breakfast with Tara. It had been her intention to pick up the phone to call when it had started to ring and she had smiled to herself at the thought that Tara was so in tune with her that they had both decided to call at the same time. Picking up the phone her smile had fallen from her face within moments, Tara’s voice sounded haunted, almost terrified as she had simply said, “Willow, I need you.” Willow had barely answered to say that she was coming before dropping the phone, not even back in the cradle and running out of the door filled with a sense of dread at what could possibly have happened to Tara.

Not pausing for an instant as she reached the door Willow burst through, her eyes sweeping the room searching for her love she spoke, “Tara I am here,” catching sight of the blonde sat on the bed, curled in an almost foetal position, she froze to the spot, what had happened? “Tara?”

“W-Willow,” Tara looked up at the panic stricken face of her girlfriend and felt the tears come again as she fought to speak, “Oh Willow, I was so s-scared,” she heard footsteps and felt Willow’s arms surround her, “I was alone, I c-called to you but you were too far away.” Tara felt her body shiver as another sob tore through her.

“What happened?” Willow was becoming frantic with worry, worry that intensified as she realised Tara was hurt, “did someone attack you?” Willow felt the tears that had begun to spill from her own eyes dry as anger boiled within her, “Who did this to you?” She wanted to kill whoever it was who had dared to harm Tara, the violence of her rage surprised her but she was too high on anger to think.

“It was,” Tara tried to think through the pain and terror, “n-not human, it was s-some sort of b-beast, a monster.”

“A monster, Ok I am calling Buffy, whatever this thing is it’s going to pay.”

“Wait,” Tara half spoke, half sobbed, “please j-just hold me. I was so s-scared I would never see you again.” Tara felt fresh tears spill down her cheeks as once again she was enfolded in Willow’s embrace and she allowed the terror and pain of the night to flow from her as finally she felt safe.

“Its ok baby,” Willow crooned as she rocked Tara in her arms, “I am here now, it’s going to be ok.” Willow again felt her own tears start to flow as she held her weeping love in her arms, Tara’s tears had again washed away her anger and her words had cut deeply as Willow realised with horror that this was all her fault. Tara must have been attacked on her way home last night and that would never have happened if she hadn’t been alone. Willow felt sick with guilt as she realised that her anger should be aimed at herself, this was all her fault, her cowardice had been the cause of this. Last night she had thought that the price for her inability to admit her feelings for Tara to her friends was simply to have to sleep apart, now she realised that the price could very well have been Tara’s life.

“Oh baby I am so sorry,” Willow wept openly now, “it’s my fault, if I hadn’t let you go you would have been safe.” Willow’s heart tore as she felt the guilt burn through her, “I am so sorry.”

As the storm of Willow’s weeping intensified Tara could not bear the pain she heard in her love’s voice, “Willow no,” Tara breathed as their tears mingled, “its n-not your fault, how could you..”

I should have been there,” Willow wailed, “I should never have let you walk alone.”

“You didn’t know,” Tara found that from being comforted now she was the comforter, “p-please, don’t blame yourself.” Tara felt Willow’s arms squeeze even more tightly around her, “I am glad you were safe, if we had been t-together maybe you would have been hurt.”

“Maybe I could have stopped it,” Willow flashed back to anger again, anger at herself and at the beast that had hurt Tara, “this is what I do, I could have kept you safe,” her voice dropped back to a murmur, “I should have kept you safe, I am sorry.”

“Willow,” Tara had to stop this, “put the b-blame where it belongs, you didn’t do this to me, it was that thing,” Tara forced a smile as she looked at Willow, tried to offer some re-assurance that she was ok, “c-call Buffy, you are a cool monster fighter remember, you need to do this.”

“Ok,” Willow nodded and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, “I will call Buffy but she can deal with this, I am staying here with you. I won’t leave you alone again, not ever.”

“P-promise?” Tara forced a note of false cheer into her voice; afraid that Willow would retreat into blaming herself again of she showed the pain she was feeling.

“I promise,” Willow swore, “no matter what I won’t let you be hurt again.”

…………………………………………………………………………

Willow had been sitting in the chair in Tara’s room for hours, the book in her lap held her attention for some of the time but she was unable to find the peace of mind needed to concentrate on reading. She could not fully forgive herself for allowing Tara to be hurt, the rational part of her brain told her that the beast might well have attacked if she had been there and maybe they would have been seriously hurt trying to protect one another but she was in too emotional a state to accept that logic. She had wanted to be with Tara last night and it was what Tara wanted too and yet she had let her walk away, for the sake of keeping a secret that she knew she should not be ashamed of. What upset her the most was that even now, after what had happened, she still did not believe she could tell her friends the truth about her relationship with Tara. She felt like a coward, like she was betraying what she had found with Tara but she could not escape the reality that she had lived her life trying to be what other people wanted her to be. Willow felt certain that some, if not all, of her friends would not accept her sexuality and she did not feel brave enough to risk losing those friendships when they had come to define everything she was.

Apart from her own reluctance to come out into the open, she was concerned at the implication that Jonathon was somehow to blame for what had happened last night. It seemed ridiculous, Jonathon was their protector and would never put any of them in harms way, she told herself that but it did not ring true for her. The same sense of wrongness that she had felt on two prior occasions surfaced again, some part of her seemed to be saying that things were not meant to be this way, that what she thought she knew was a lie. Buffy had been adamant that the symbol Tara had drawn was the same one described by the girl attacked at Jonathon’s mansion, the girl attacked by a beast Jonathon had claimed was harmless. If that was a lie then what else about Jonathon was a lie? Willow felt that the answer was just beyond her reach but even as she strained to focus she felt the knowledge slip away and in a moment she could not even recall what she had been thinking about.

“Willow,” Tara’s soft voice interrupted Willow’s musings, “what t-time is it?”

Willow checked her watch as she jumped to her feet, anxious to be attentive now Tara was awake, “it’s almost four in the afternoon,” Willow smiled as she sat on the bed next to Tara, “do you feel any better now?”

“Much,” Tara nodded, “but thirsty.”

“Oh,” Willow hopped back off the bed and hurried to the fridge before returning with a bottle of water, “I should have thought, sorry.”

“S-stop,” Tara said with unusual force, “Willow I don’t want you to keep apologising or b-blaming yourself for everything that happens to me.”

“But..”

“No,” Tara interrupted again, “I get that you feel bad, I mean, if you had been hurt I would but,” Tara took Willow’s hands as she tried to find the words to explain, “it’s n-not what I need, not what we need. It happened and now I want to move past it but I c-can’t do that if you keep reminding me with your guilt, do you get it?”

“I do,” Willow could hardly believe what she was hearing, Tara rarely used so many words to say anything, nor did she ever speak forcefully as far as she could recall but she understood. Her need for self-flagellation was selfish, Tara did not need doom and gloom right now, she needed Willow to make it better, not keep picking at the wound.

“Willow?” Tara’s voice carried a hint of concern, had she overloaded that super size brain? Willow rarely sat without speaking for so long.

“Sorry, I mean, no not sorry like before but I was thinking,” Willow, “I had this all wrong, you need some pampering and I am the girl to do it.”

“P-pampering sounds good.” Tara smiled at the thought, “did you have anything in mind?”

“I am kinda working it out on the spot but how does this sound,” Willow spoke quickly as the thoughts came tumbling out, “I have to head over to Giles’ to meet the gang for a situation update soon, that should be quick,” she clasped Tara’s hand tightly to re-assure her, “once we get done I could pick up some yummy food and we could have a dorm room picnic or something, all your favourites. How does that sound?” Willow searched Tara’s eyes for confirmation that this was ok.

“It sounds good,” Tara replied with a crooked smile, “but after the p-picnic what then?”

“Whatever you want baby, you are the patient and I am the nurse, your wish is my command.”

“Well,” Tara began her voice becoming more seductive, “I am feeling a lot b-better but maybe my nurse c-could give me a physical exam, just to be sure.”

“I think I could do that,” Willow felt a rush of desire at the thought of a physical exam and where that would lead, “I should get going, sooner I go the sooner I get back.”

“Ok,” Tara agreed leaning in for a quick farewell kiss, “n-nothing with shrimp,” she added as Willow headed for the door.

……………………………………………………………………

Willow stormed around Tara’s room in a rage as the blonde watched warily from the safety of the bed, “I am going to kill him,” the redhead seethed, “that stupid spell could have got you killed, I am going to make him wish he had never been born.”

Tara sighed, she didn’t want this but Willow was fiercely protective when anyone hurt someone she cared about and right now she was glad she wasn’t Jonathon Levinson. The glamour or whatever it was he had cast had broken last night but exhausted by what had turned into a mutual physical examination they had merely felt confused and disorientated as the effects wore off. This morning was another matter, Willow had woken and within moments she had fully appreciated what had happened and she was now looking for vengeance, blood vengeance from the sound of the curses she was muttering.

“Willow,” Tara interrupted the flow of language she hadn’t even realised Willow knew, “maybe you should think about this, I d-don’t think killing him is a good idea.”

“No? You think maybe something slower and more painful?” Willow thought that was an interesting idea, some sort of perpetual torment maybe, there had to be a spell for that.

“I mean, I think r-revenge is not the way to go at all.”

“What? You were attacked by that thing Tara, he shouldn’t be able to get away with it,” Willow was amazed at Tara’s calmness, “I won’t let him get away with it,” she added for emphasis.

“Yes you will,” Tara said a little more sharply than she had intended.

Willow stopped in her tracks, that was the second time in less than 24 hours that Tara had used that commanding tone of voice, momentarily diverted Willow decided that much as she loved her shyness, take charge Tara might be fun in some situations. “I can’t believe you want me to just let it go, he hurt you.”

“Yes he d-did,” Tara agreed, “but I don’t think he understood what he was doing and if you punish him you sink to his level, I d-don’t want that for you.” Tara locked eyes with Willow, “I believe you are b-better than that, I know you are.”

Willow melted under that gaze, “I may not be as good as you think I am.”

“You are,” Tara smiled, happy to see that she was getting through, “the fact that you don’t think so only p-proves me right.”

“I guess I could settle for scowling at him,” Willow let the last vestiges of her rage go, “I can’t deny you when you turn those eyes on me.”

“I am a Witch,” Tara joked.

“A good Witch,” Willow grinned, “I don’t mind if I am under your spell.”

“I think I am the one under a spell,” Tara shook her head, “we need to get d-dressed if we are meeting Buffy and the gang.”

“Aw,” Willow pouted, “I think I prefer you undressed.”

“It’s mutual,” Tara giggled and gave Willow what she hoped was a seductive look, “but I don’t think B-Buffy would agree.”

“Ok you win,” Willow laughed, “I guess you always will.”

“You are here,” Tara smiled, “I feel like I won the lottery every time I look at you.”

Willow’s heart skipped a beat at the sincerity in those words, all thoughts of revenge long gone she now had a new plan, especially after the seductive look Tara had just given her. “So we have to meet the gang in,” she checked the clock, “twenty minutes.”

“Uh huh.” Tara nodded, not noticing the gleam in Willow’s eyes.

“Twenty minutes,” Willow spoke as she moved over to the bed where Tara still sat, “I think that might be long enough for you to cash in your winnings if we are quick.”

“Oh yes,” Tara agreed, pulling Willow down onto the bed beside her and into the warmth of her embrace.

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WILLOW: Ooh, pancakes could go in bellies.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:25 pm 
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17. Mega-Witches
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Dibs!

ETA: Twenty minutes? Okay, well, I guess - if you're very focused. Heh.

A lovely journey through the canon timeline, and again really liked to see what was going through both Willow and Tara's minds as they were figuring out if they were going to be able to sleep together or not when Buffy was with them. I feel like it's very true to canon.

Also, Tara put into words so clearly why someone blaming themselves over and over again for something isn't helpful - because it keeps taking the other person back through the experience again and doesn't let them move on. It's pretty selfish, actually. And it was good to see Willow understanding that - she's smart, but not always very smart about matters of emotion and stuff.

Good planting of the seeds for Willow's impulse for revenge. Tara was always a stabilizing influence on her that way. Ah, this like getting to see the best parts of the show all over again, like the deleted scenes on a DVD.

And I think I can speak for everyone in saying that more is better, and no update is ever too long. I have struggled sometimes to get 2000 words in an update and yours are over 6,000 words as a matter of course. That is GREAT. I sometimes think about how long it takes to write this stuff, and how short of a time it takes to read it. Not sure what that means, but anyway, I love the length.

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Last edited by FineyMcFine on Sun Nov 13, 2005 7:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 6:52 pm 
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6. Sassy Eggs
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RH
Once again you've nicely filled in the background for us: the growing intimacy between the girls, the shifts in the dynamics of their relationship because of it, the couple of appearances of take-charge Tara, and the first intimations of Willow's descent into magic abuse (that headstrong fiery temper).

I liked them 'looking' at each other, and Willow's inner conflict at not being ready to tell her friends about her relationship with Tara, which was well done.

I'm hoping you're not planning on strictly following events in canon, 'cos I don't want to see Willow becoming that arrogant and self-absorbed character again. But it does seem like you're setting things up to do that. I guess I'll just have to wait and see....

Thanks for a great fic.
Anne

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 8:00 am 
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Beautiful update..so sweet. Love sam xx

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 8:50 am 
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hahaha 'cash in your winning if we're quick' that was fabulous. things like that should never be 'quick'. great story i really like how it follows the plot of the show but goes into depth between shots and what not. keep it up hoowah

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:18 pm 
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13. Big Knowledge Woman
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Hey RH! Whew! I'm finally caught up. I just wanted to say that I love S4 and I'm a sucker for the behind-the-scenes stuff just like this. You are doing such a great job covering all of the things that were never shown and I know most of us have often wondered about. I know I've watched the DVD's, yelled at the TV, wanting to know, "but what happened when...?" or "where were Tara and Willow during this scene and what were they doing?" A big question of mine was always trying to figure out how and when Tara came out to her and what was Willow's reaction. I loved how you covered this.

You're doing an amazing job conveying their inner thoughts, the confusion that we know was there, the lightbulb-over-the head moment when Willow realized, without a doubt, her true self.

Now about the love scenes... (I won't even call it smut because it is truly so much more), and you don't need to worry about your ability to write those scenes, because you did a beautiful job.

Can't wait to see what peek you give us next between the lines.

Great job!

Wimpy

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 3:02 pm 
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Hey there,
What a really great update. I love that it takes place during Superstar and you did such a great job of working the whole Jonathan interest and collage into the story without making a complete joke. I mean no more than the joke it was on the show. I like the way that the girls seems to be cementing their relationship and you did a very good job of working Tara's insecurity back in. I think that will go far in fixing my #3 issue of the earlier feedback. Your writing is very impressive. Well done.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:00 pm 
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Disclaimer As ever, this is a non profit fic for the amusement of the Kittens which just happens to utilise the characters of Joss Whedon.

Feedback Yes please, thank you.

Rating Some slightly R rated moments ahead.

Background Season 4. This chapter takes place around the period of 'Where The wild Things Are' but only mentions the events of that episode in passing. To be honest it's not an episode I am particularly fond of, the endless Buffy and Riley writhing shots were not pleasant. So instead this is what our girls were up to.


Between The Lines


Chapter Eleven – Meet The Family


Tara gazed around in wonderment, the throbbing sound of the music, the lights, the noise and all of the people, it was like something from a dream, or maybe it was a nightmare, she couldn’t quite decide. When Willow had told her that they were going bowling with Anya and Xander she had been unable to decide how she felt about that and now that she was here she still couldn’t decide. On the one hand it was nice to be able to socialise with Willow’s friends, being part of Willow’s life was something she had wanted from the start. On the other hand though, it was difficult to have to act as though they were just friends and nothing more, especially when the other couple started nuzzling and cooing like they were at the moment. In any case, leaving aside her discomfort at having to pretend she was not attracted to Willow she had another reason to wonder if this was such a good idea, she had never been bowling before and she was afraid she wouldn’t be very good at it.

“Hey Tara,” Xander called over the noise of the crowded bowling alley, “can I get you a drink?”

“Um, s-sure, water please.”

“Gotcha,” Xander called back, “Will, you want something sugary?”

“Coke, non diet.” Willow confirmed with a smile.

“Be right back,” Xander flashed a smile at both girls as he made his way over to the bar area.

Tara watched the young man walk away, unable to stifle a laugh as he broke into some impromptu dance moves as he walked, doubtless inspired by the fabulous selection of cheesy eighties hits playing over the sound system. She was slowly forming opinions on Willow’s friends as she got to spend more time with them and she definitely found Xander easier to get along with than most, he was much more open and straightforward than the others, qualities that Tara appreciated. Watching Xander interact with Willow it was also clear just how much love existed between the old friends, Xander’s affection for Willow was written all over his face whenever they spoke and that scored him mucho points with Tara.

“Lane available for Rosenberg.” The slightly disembodied voice crackled over the P.A, momentarily interrupting ‘The Safety Dance’.

“Woot,” Willow jumped to her feet, beckoning for Tara to join her as Anya also stood up, “this is the best bit,” Willow confided, “we have to get bowling shoes.”

“There are b-bowling shoes?” Tara couldn’t decide what was more amusing, the need for special shoes or the fact that this seemed exciting to Willow.

“Of course,” Willow stared at Tara in amazement, “did you think you could bowl in your regular shoes?”

“Um, sweetie,” Tara whispered so that Anya wouldn’t hear the endearment, “I don’t think I could b-bowl in any kind of shoes, I told you, no co-ordination.”

“I hope I don’t get the smelly man’s shoes,” Anya protested loudly as they neared the counter, “this is so unhygienic.”

“The smelly man?” Tara asked without thinking.

“Him,” Anya pointed to another customer, easily within earshot, “from the odour I don’t think anyone has told him what soap is.”

“Anya!” Willow’s face turned blood red with embarrassment, “do you have to do that?”

“Do what? If I smelled like that I would hope someone told me so I could do something about it.” Thankfully the man in question was busy talking to a friend and did not appear to hear Anya’s opinion of his personal hygiene, “you get your smelly shoes,” Anya continued, “I think I had better tell Xander which lane we are in or he will just end up wandering around lost with my drink and I am thirsty.” Without waiting for a response Anya set off to find Xander and her wayward drink.

Tara was not sure what to make of Anya, she was certainly far more complex than Xander but then that was generally true whenever you compared women to men. Anya was certainly as honest as Xander and being consistent Tara had to admire that but still, there was definitely an issue with boundaries and what constituted acceptable behaviour. Willow had briefly explained the whole ex-demon thing so it was understandable but Tara suspected that much of the time Anya simply chose to ignore social conventions simply to get a reaction. Instinctively Tara felt that she liked Anya and they could be friends but that was somewhat complicated by the fact that Willow clearly did not like Anya at all. Willow probably had her reasons and they were probably more substantial than simply being overprotective of Xander but she had not chosen to share those reasons as yet. Tara suspected that Willow was being more than a little unfair to Anya but for now she chose to keep that observation to herself.

Tara stood, bowling shoes in place, ready to follow Willow to their lane or whatever it was called.

“Wow Tara,” Tara looked up to find Willow staring at her, “wow, I mean look at you, with the shoes, wow.”

“Um sweetie,” Tara again risked the endearment as they were temporarily alone, “are you m-making fun of me or should I get worried?”

“Worried?” Willow looked quizzically at Tara as they walked to the lane, “why would you be worried?”

“Bowling shoes,” Tara explained, “I mean, if you were all w-wow over lingerie or something then ok but bowling shoes, it’s kind of strange.”

“Well, hmm,” Willow began nervously as they reached their lane and she sat down to begin entering their names on the electronic scorecard, “it’s a, a quirk you know, it’s meant to be cute I think, you must have quirks right?”

“Not like that,” Tara shook her head, “I do think it’s kind of c-cute though,” she continued with a crooked smile, “I like that you are one of a kind.”

“A true original,” Willow declared with a laugh, “I think I might have warned you about this already.” Willow’s eyes widened as she looked up, “ah our man servant is bringing the drinks and unfortunately he still has Anya with him.”

Tara felt an irrational urge to scold Willow for the uncharacteristically mean comment but there was no opportunity as their friends were already too close for her to speak in private.

“You spin me right round baby, right round,” Xander attempted a clumsy twirl, almost spilling the drinks as he approached, “like a record baby.” Willow joined in the impromptu sing along and Tara noticed a scowl flash across Anya’s face, so the dislike was mutual she concluded. Sooner or later this would have to be tackled or somebody would end up hurt and she doubted that was what anyone really wanted.

“So how d-does this work again?” Tara asked, anxious to interrupt the singing before the scowl on Anya’s face became a full-blooded glare.

“Easy,” Willow began with a patient smile, “you take the bowling ball.”

“You aim at the pins, those things at the end of the lane.” Xander continued.

“You try to knock as many over as you can,” Willow concluded, “pins go smash o crash and you are doing good.”

“That’s all?”

“Yep, no wait,” Willow giggled, “if you knock all the pins over that’s a strike, then you get to take another turn and you can double up on your points but that’s not the best part.”

“Oh, what’s the b-best part?” Tara asked, already confused by the seemingly simple rules and dreading the moment when she would have to take her turn, co-ordination not being her strong suit.

“If you get a strike Xander has to do the chicken dance,” Willow howled with laughter, “I bet him you would get at least one and that’s his forfeit if you can do it.”

“I think he is safe,” Tara joined in the laughter, “what’s your forfeit if I don’t manage to get a stroke?”

“Stroke?” Willow doubled over as she shook with laughter, “stop it, I nearly choked on my soda.”

“What did I do?” Tara asked in bemusement.

“It’s strike Tara,” Xander managed to say through his own guffaws, “and if I win the bet I am getting a muffin basket, home delivered by our very own Miss Rosenberg.”

“Oh s-sorry,” Tara joined in the laughter as she realised her gaffe, “and sorry Willow, Xander is getting muffins I think.”

“You hear that,” Xander crowed, “sugary goodness for Harris.”

“Don’t count your chickens, chicken boy,” Willow wagged her finger in Xander’s gloating face, “Tara’s got game, she just doesn’t know it yet.”

“So do we start now?” Anya interrupted the laughing trio, clearly unimpressed with the joke; either that or she didn’t get it.

“Sure Ahn,” Xander nodded at his girlfriend, “Willow has got you up first.”

“So I can make a fool of myself,” Anya huffed but went ahead and took her turn as the other three regained control of themselves, the giggling fit subsiding.

……………………………………………………………

Willow was having a great time she decided as she accompanied Xander back to the bar for more drinks, Anya apart they were all having fun and she was delighted at how well Xander and Tara were getting along. She had not really doubted them, Tara was lovable in an infinite variety of ways and she knew that Xander had a good heart and always looked for the best in people. It would be nice if this could be a real double date but so long as she was still not ready to out herself it was almost as good as the real thing, getting to be with her love and her oldest friend and bask in the joy of seeing them hit it off so well.

“Tara’s great Will,” Xander commented as they waited to be served, “I mean, she seemed so shy at first but she has a cool sense of humour once she relaxes.”

“Right,” Willow nodded, “I thought you two would hit it off.”

“Woah,” Xander looked momentarily alarmed, “I know you don’t exactly like me being with Anya but you aren’t trying to set me up are you?”

“Xander, don’t you even think about it.” Willow answered a lit more loudly than she had intended.

“I wasn’t,” Xander held up his hands to placate the momentarily fired up Willow, “I just thought for a second, you know, guess thinking didn’t work out too well for me huh?”

“Does it ever,” Willow teased, “seriously Xander, I love you to death but trust me, you are not Tara’s type.”

“Way to soften the blow Will,” Xander feigned a hurt expression, “you could have spared my ego, told me she was involved or something but no, you have to get straight to the part where she is out of my league.”

“Not so much out of your league just it’s never going to happen so don’t even start with that line of thought, I know how you are about blondes that I get friendly with.”

“That’s blonde, single not plural,” Xander protested, “anyway I am so over Buffy in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“If you say so,” Willow turned as the server approached, “two cokes, one carbonated water and a ginger beer thanks.”

“So Tara is a Witch too huh? I mean that’s how you met right, the whole Wicca group thing?”

“Yep Tara is a Witch, but not like me exactly,” Willow explained, “she has been practicing like, all her life, she is way more powerful than me although she tries to pretend she isn’t.”

“Really powerful then,” Xander nodded, “you are no slouch these days Will.”

“Really powerful,” Willow confirmed, “so keep your hands to yourself Mister or you might end your days as a frog.”

“Hey, I wasn’t even thinking it,” Xander managed to look alarmed, “but it’s hard to believe, I mean she seems so nice, not like some scary Witch.”

“She is nice,” Willow nodded, “and hey, witch standing right here, standing exactly right here, watch the stereotyping Harris.”

“Oh you aren’t scary,” Xander laughed, “unless I steal your Barbie.”

“Better believe it,” Willow joined in the laughter, “hands off my Barbie.”

“So Will,” Xander changed the topic, his voice becoming more serious, “it’s cool that you have a new friend, I am like yay for Tara, but I was kind of hoping you had found something else, you know, like a new guy.”

“Thanks, keep the change,” Willow paid for the drinks and indicated Xander should help her carry them, “why do you say that?”

“Well, you were so low after Oz and then lately,” Xander spoke as he weaved around the other customers, “you seemed to be getting your happy back, I just thought maybe, especially after you bought those Roses.”

“No, no new guy,” Willow shook her head, “I mean, that’s no bad thing, I have my friends and you are right, I am happy,” she kicked Xander playfully in the shin as they picked their way through the crowd, “and sorry to bruise your ego but I don’t need a guy to be happy.”

“Well ok, and ow,” Xander protested, “I just thought I would ask, no need to go all Buffy on me.”

“Sorry, I forget how fragile you are,” Willow teased, “come on, let’s get back to the game before Anya sends out a search party.” Willow frowned momentarily as they made their way back, she didn’t like being dishonest with Xander but she had to be careful, he had already noticed more than Buffy and if she wasn’t careful even he might put the clues together. She might be approaching the point where she could tell her friends but she wanted to choose the time and place, not be found out and risk Xander or anyone feeling offended that she had been keeping secrets from them.

“Willow,” Tara shouted excitedly, hopping from foot to foot as she waved at the approaching pair, “I got a s-strike.”

“You did?” Willow beamed with pride.

“She did,” Anya confirmed, “it was amazing, I don’t think she even had her eyes open.”

“Hear that Xander,” Willow laughed, “come on chicken boy, dance.”

……………………………………………………………………

“Every breath you take,” Xander crooned in an alarmingly off-key manner as they exited the bowling alley.

“Every strike Tara makes,” Willow joined in with a giggle.

“Come on Will, quit rubbing it in,” Xander protested, “it was just a lucky shot.”

“Four lucky shots,” corrected Willow, “and we all saw the dancing to prove it.”

“You’re a hard woman Will, spare a thought for the guy who missed out on a muffin basket. I thought it was a sure thing the way Tara was talking, I am beginning to think this was a professional set up.”

“Right,” Willow laughed, “Tara and I go around fixing bowling games to get guys dancing, it’s a good time.”

“It could happen,” Xander said defensively, “you sure you didn’t cheat Tara? I mean like with a spell? Willow makes you sound like a real Sabrina.”

“I wouldn’t” Tara shook her head furiously, “that’s not what m-magic is for and, and you are teasing me aren’t you?”

“A little bit,” Xander smiled at the shy blonde, “Willow is too smart to fall for my jokes now, it’s nice to have someone new who doesn’t have me all figured out.”

“Tell you what Xander,” Willow said magnanimously, “seeing as you were such a good sport about the whole thing I think I can spring for some muffins as a thank you for entertaining us.”

“Cool, you should have just said that to begin with,” Xander beamed at Willow, “I will dance for food, I have no issues with self-respect when free stuff is on offer.”

“This is our turn-off,” Anya spoke up as they reached the intersection, “well it was fun, Xander and I have to go and do something couples do now.”

“Too much information Anya,” Willow muttered, “Ok, night guys, it was fun.”

“Bye,” Tara gave a shy wave toward the retreating pair.

“Wait until the re-match,” Xander shouted back at them, “and don’t forget the muffins Willow, but not too early, you guys wore me out.”

Tara waited until Xander and Anya were out of sight and then felt Willow’s hand slip into hers and gently turn her toward the UC Sunnydale Campus. It had been a good night she decided, the bowling had been a lot more fun than she had expected and she really did like Xander, even Anya was good company once you got used to her ways. Now she wanted to finish off the night by taking Willow back to her room and getting to do all the kissing and holding that they couldn’t do in public.

“So did you have a good time?” Willow asked as they walked hand in hand.

“I did,” Tara answered truthfully, “I mean, the b-bowling was fun, and I didn’t think it would be but it was and Xander and Anya are nice.”

“Xander is nice,” Willow agreed pointedly not mentioning Anya.

“Willow,” Tara decided to get to the bottom of this, “why don’t you like Anya?”

“Hello, ex vengeance demon, dating my best friend,” Willow explained, “kind of an accident waiting to happen.”

“She isn’t a d-demon anymore though,” Tara reasoned, “what do you think she could do to him?”

“I don’t know, lots of things,” Willow huffed, “she has 1,000 years of experience at this kind of thing, she must still have a few tricks up her sleeve.”

“Ok,” Tara nodded in agreement, “but there is something else isn’t there? I mean, she must have already d-done something to upset you.”

“Oh she did,” Willow confirmed, “first time I ever spoke to her she tricked me into doing a spell and it was, gross.” Willow shivered at the memory.

“Gross? What did she make you do?” Tara’s curiosity was aroused now and a hint of jealousy too, she hadn’t known Willow had ever cast with someone else before.

“Oh, she wanted to get her demon powers back,” Willow explained, “so straight away there is the evidence that she hasn’t changed, anyway, she got me to help her fold reality so she could bring back the necklace that bore her powers.”

“But it d-didn’t work?”

“Oh it worked,” Willow continued in hushed tones, “only instead of her necklace we brought something far worse back, this was an alternate world remember, and in this world I..” The memory was still a painful one and Willow felt choked with emotion as she tried to explain.

“It’s ok Willow,” Tara could see the distress on Willow’s face, “we can t-talk about something else.”

“No, I just,” Willow composed herself, determined to finish this now she had started, “in this world I was a vampire,” Tara’s eyes widened in horror as Willow spoke, “it was a world where Buffy never came to Sunnydale and the vampires controlled the town,” Willow stopped walking and turned to face Tara, “I was one of them, that’s what the spell brought back.”

“Oh Willow,” Tara’s mind reeled with horror at the thought of her love turned to a soulless demon, “it m-must have been horrible.”

“It was,” Willow agreed fiercely, “it was like my worst nightmare come to life and yet in the end, I couldn’t let Buffy kill it, kill me.”

“Because she was like you?”

“Oh no,” Willow shook her head vehemently, “she was nothing like me, she was all evil and domineering and she wore this skanky, skin tight leather outfit.” Willow’s nose wrinkled in distaste at the memory.

“L-leather,” Tara squeaked before she even knew she had opened her mouth.

“What was that?”

“Uh n-nothing,” Tara blushed at her indiscretion, this was a serious conversation but somehow as soon as Willow had mentioned the outfit she had started imagining what it would look like, and she liked what she saw.

“Something you want to tell me?” Willow asked, amused now, her dark mood of a few moments ago forgotten, “something about leather?”

“N-no,” Tara shook her head vigorously, her blush deepening to crimson.

“No?” Willow arched an eyebrow as she tried to catch Tara’s gaze, “you sure went a funny colour as soon as I started talking about the leather outfit.”

“W-Well,” Tara couldn’t hold out under that inquisitive gaze, “I just thought, you know, and the thoughts c-came with pictures and they were,” Tara looked at the floor too embarrassed to make eye contact, “they were n-nice.”

“Leather huh,” Willow couldn’t hide her amusement, “I guess I need to keep that in mind for the future, hey,” she suddenly remembered the outfit she had almost never worn, “I have these green leather pants in my closet.”

“W-willow,” Tara looked pleadingly at her girlfriend, “can we change the subject?”

“I guess,” Willow smirked, “but tell me, is it because I am embarrassing you or because I am turning you on?” Hand in hand the girls resumed walking.

“B-both.” Tara barely whispered.

Willow leaned over, her lips inches away from Tara’s ear as she spoke, “did I say it was skin tight leather? I can’t remember?”

“N-not fair,” Tara breathed as she quickened her pace, tugging Willow along with her.

“Black, skin tight leather,” Willow repeated as she hurried to match Tara’s step.

“B-bowling shoes,” Tara giggled, as the fast walk became a jog.

“Oh my,” Willow tightened her grip on Tara’s hand and started to run, “we need to be home, like right now.” Matching Willow’s stride Tara couldn’t have agreed more.

……………………………………………………………………..

Tara gazed at Willow as she lay on the grass, head propped on one arm as she pretended to listen to Riley talking tactics with Buffy. The young man seemed to be able to talk for hours about manoeuvres, fighting techniques and weaponry, at least it seemed he had been talking for hours about those things. The impromptu picnic was another part of Willow’s transparent plan to introduce Tara to her friends in social settings, hastily arranged during the lunch break when they were all on Campus and at a loose end. The idea was ok in principle but Buffy and Riley were all business and so Tara found herself tuning out their conversation and instead gazing at her angel who, no doubt through years of practice, managed to at least appear interested in the conversation.

Tara was struggling with her feelings toward Riley, as nice as he appeared on the surface she could not ignore the signs of an altogether less pleasant personality beneath the surface. No doubt she was somewhat influenced by the fact that he had pushed Willow over when she had tried to stop him leaving Xander’s basement that time, Willow might forgive him but Tara could not, she knew all about men who were willing to use force against women and had hoped she had left all that behind her when she came to Sunnydale. There was something else there too, Tara could read body language pretty well and it was clear that even as Riley was complimenting Buffy on her speed and strength his eyes were saying something else. Some men simply could not handle being bettered by a woman and as much as he tried to hide it Riley was clearly one of those men. It was an ego thing, nothing Riley could do would make him as strong as Buffy and sooner or later his resentment of that fact would spell trouble for both of them.

There was no escaping it, no matter how hard she tried she was never going to be able to like Riley, she could tolerate him for Willow’s sake but she would do all she could to avoid his company unless it was absolutely necessary. Unfortunately that did not include tonight, Riley and his friends were throwing a party and she had already accepted the invitation to tag along with Willow and the gang.

“Tara, you want anything else to eat?” Buffy’s voice alerted Tara to the fact that Riley had finally shut up about his equipment or whatever.

“N-no thanks Buffy,” Tara smiled at the petite blonde, “I already ate too much.” Tara was full but she had barely eaten a thing compared to Buffy and Willow, how two girls managed to put away such vast quantities of food and stay so slim was beyond belief.

“More for me then,” the Slayer declared happily, “hey, who took the chicken sandwich?”

“Sorry Buffy, survival of the fastest,” Willow crowed as she took a huge bite from the sandwich in question.

“Ok,” Buffy rummaged through their things, “but that means I get your cookie,” she declared triumphantly, holding the sugary treat aloft in delight.

“Fine,” Willow said after hastily swallowing her mouthful, “but I should warn you I already licked it.”

“Eww, gross Will,” Buffy dropped the cookie with a look of distaste that changed to one of outrage as Willow snatched it up.

“Fooled you,” Willow poked out her tongue before retreating quickly out of Slaying range.

Tara giggled at the scene in front of her, the mock squabbling over the spoils of the picnic basket was indicative of a deep bond of affection between the two friends. For all of the mock glowers Buffy was now shooting in Willow’s direction it was obvious how much the Slayer adored her redheaded friend. Tara definitely liked Buffy but was having difficulty finding common ground with her outside of their shared affection for Willow. Buffy had thanked her repeatedly for her role in summoning the Katra that had allowed her to get her body back from Faith but when they tried to make small talk they had stumbled into silence. Willow had mentioned that Buffy had a very fun loving side to her character but it seemed that her obligations were weighing heavily on her lately and her worry showed on her face, especially when she thought no-one was looking.

“Err Buffy,” Riley looked at his watch, “we have about 30 minutes before class and didn’t you want to do that thing?”

“Yep, that thing,” Buffy jumped to her feet straight away with a sly grin, “see you tonight guys,” she added over her shoulder as she rushed off with her boyfriend for some alone time.

“Cool, we get all the leftovers.” Willow beamed happily.

“You get all the l-leftovers sweetie,” Tara smiled indulgently, “I am full remember.”

“I thought you were just being polite, you hardly ate a thing and I need you to keep your strength up,” Willow tried for a seductive look, “I have big after party plans for you.”

“Your plans are safe,” Tara re-assured her, “but lets not stay out too late ok?”

“Ok,” Willow agreed but a small frown crossed her face, “although I am getting the feeling maybe you don’t want to go the party at all.”

“Well, soldier guys, n-not really my scene,” Tara offered unconvincingly, “I just think, you know, I won’t fit in.”

Willow’s frown deepened as she considered Tara’s words, “is this really a you thing or is it an us thing?”

“N-no,” Tara began to lie but Willow was looking at her in a way that wouldn’t allow her to avoid the truth, “well sort of, it’s just, Buffy will be with Riley and Xander will be with Anya but we won’t be..”

“..together.” Willow completed the sentence for her.

“Really, it’s ok,” Tara could hear the false note in her own voice, “I d-don’t mind the..”

“..pretending to be just friends.” Willow again finished Tara’s sentence for her and then sighed as she broke eye contact to look at the ground, “I know it’s hard not being all coupley when we are with other couples, I mean, I hate it too but..”

“..you aren’t ready to come out.” Two could play at this game Tara thought as she finished off Willow’s excuse for her.

“Right,” Willow nodded looking just a little shamefaced, “I will soon I promise,” she looked up and caught Tara’s gaze, her voice dropping to a near whisper, “I just need a little more time.”

“I get it Willow, I do,” Tara let out a sigh of her own, “it’s just hard, not knowing.”

“Knowing when I will be ready?” Willow jumped to the wrong conclusion.

“Y-yes,” Tara nodded. No, Tara thought to herself, not knowing if what we have means the same to you as it does to me.

“Soon,” Willow promised again, “ok?”

Tara nodded again, not trusting herself to answer the question directly, she didn’t want to upset Willow or create a scene but still she felt the occasional nagging doubts that somehow this was all going to slip away. The initial rush of the new relationship was fading and as each day passed it was harder to ignore the rut they were so quickly falling into. Tara loved every second she spent with Willow, but as each day passed that Willow denied the nature of their relationship to her friends but then came to her bed in the night, it became harder to shake the fear that she might be being used. Most of the time she felt sure that Willow shared her feelings but each time she acted as though Tara was her guilty secret it hurt. The unspoken fear that she was just part of an experimental phase for Willow haunted her in these moments and preyed on the doubts she had carried with her for as long as she could remember.

Aware of the slightly awkward silence that was growing between them Tara decided to change the topic to something safe, forcing a smile she didn’t really feel back on to her face she spoke, “what are you g-going to wear tonight?”

……………………………………………………………………

Willow gave a cry of ecstasy as she arched her back and then, with a final shudder of pleasure, she sank back onto the sheets, “mmm baby, that was amazing.”

Tara worked her way back up over the contours of Willow’s body, pausing to plant the occasional kiss or bite on the hot skin of her love, until finally her head emerged from the top of the sheets, blonde hair tussled in a way that surely only Willow could find sexy. “I t-told you your plans were safe,” she smiled crookedly at the contented face of her angel as she brought her head to rest alongside the splash of red curls on her pillow.

“So true,” Willow turned on her side to face her girlfriend, “but that was so much more than I had planned, I mean,” Willow stole a quick kiss, “the way you just took control ” Willow giggled, “Mistress Tara.”

Tara giggled in reply as the ludicrous image of herself as a dominatrix sprang into her mind, “not quite,” she joked, “I didn’t get as far as the s-spanking.”

“Everybody’s getting spanked but me.” Willow laughed, remembering using those words not so long ago when she thought she was the only one of the gang with no-one to love.

“Pardon?”

“Oh, just an in-joke,” Willow explained, “makes sense to me and, well, me.”

“Well, I don’t think there is going to b-be any spanking tonight.”

“Why not?” Willow protested with a mock pout.

“Well, it’s pretty late,” Tara glanced at the clock, “very late,” she corrected herself, “I think we b-broke a few records tonight.”

“Haunted house mojo,” Willow nodded recalling the unexpected events at Riley’s party, “I think everybody was pretty wound up after that.”

“I d-don’t think so,” Tara shook her head gently, “personally speaking I think it was Willow mojo.”

Willow’s smile widened and she stole another quick kiss, “definitely Tara mojo.”

“Something about us then,” Tara returned Willow’s smile, “but tonight was pretty weird.”

“I know, I mean, I never even knew he could sing.”

Tara was confused for a second before she caught up with willow’s train of thought, “oh Mr Giles, I meant the p-party.”

“I know silly,” Willow laughed, “but still, definitely a night full of surprises, and he was really good.”

“He was,” Tara agreed, “so you n-never knew?”

“Nuh-uh,” Willow shook her head, “for a second I thought maybe Anya had been playing alternate realities again.”

“I just assumed he d-did it all the time,” Tara smiled then remembered something, “so you want to see him s-sing again?”

“I would,” Willow answered enthusiastically, “but I don’t think there is much chance of him letting us know if he does decide to do it again, he seemed pretty embarrassed when he saw us there.”

“Oh we can see him t-tomorrow,” Tara spoke then remembering the time corrected herself, “I mean tonight.”

“Where?”

“Espresso Pump again,” Tara explained, “when you were t-talking to Giles I overheard someone say he was playing again tonight.”

“Cool,” Willow’s excitement was obvious, “mocha and Giles singing, big fun.”

“It’s a date then, m-mochas are on me though.”

“Wow,” Willow’s eyes sparkled, “what if they were? I mean, actually on you, Mocha and Tara, how would that taste?”

Tara laughed at the image that created, “only you w-would think of that sweetie.”

“Still, it’s a thought for, you know, some future time.” Willow showed no indication of letting the idea go.

“Here is another thought, it’s almost 4 in the morning, d-don’t you want to get some sleep?”

“Oh no,” Willow’s eyes sparkled again, “not until you get your turn,” she added as she slowly began to kiss her way down Tara’s suddenly very awake body.

…………………………………………………………………………

Willow bounced in her seat as she checked her watch yet again, “did you hear what time he was coming?” She asked Tara, not for the first time.

“N-no sweetie,” Tara smiled tolerantly, “you asked me that already.”

“I know, it’s just exciting,” Willow explained the obvious, “Giles is coming here to sing, it’s like knowing a rock star, I know a rock star.”

“Umm, rock stars play at the Espresso Pump?” Tara laughed at Willow’s overactive imagination.

“Well, it’s sort of like that,” Willow sipped her mocha and made a face, “oh, I am out again, need to get another.”

“Willow, you h-had three already,” Tara cautioned, “Buffy warned me about mixing you and caffeine in too high quantities.”

“I can handle it.” Willow pouted.

Pouted deliciously thought Tara, “um so the b-bouncing in the seat is you handling it?”

“Sure, I can…he’s here,” Willow suddenly shrieked and bounced right off her seat as she stood and waved at Giles.

“Ah Willow,” Giles greeted her with a pained expression on his face, “I didn’t think you would be here.”

“Hello to you too Giles,” Willow laughed, still bouncing on the soles of her feet, “I wouldn’t miss this for anything, Tara heard you were playing and so here I am.”

“Hello Tara,” Giles nodded as he noticed the shy blonde sitting quietly at the table, “I don’t suppose I can persuade you to leave? A bribe maybe? I have some new volumes on nature rituals back at the apartment.”

“No way,” Willow shook her head, “I have been looking forward to this all day.”

“Of course,” Giles removed his glasses and began polishing furiously, “what could be more entertaining than watching me make a fool of myself in public.”

“You think that?” Willow managed to look a trifle hurt, “I wanted to come because I want to hear you sing, you were really good last night.”

“You really think so?” Giles smiled at the unexpected compliment.

“She means it Mr G-Giles,” Tara spoke softly, “all day she has been t-talking about you and right before you came in she said you were like a rock star.”

“A rock star eh,” Giles smile grew wider as he mulled that over, “you actually said that Willow?”

“Oh yes, I mean with the singing and the crowd and the Mochas, it’s totally like a real concert.”

“They don’t usually drink Mochas at rock concerts Willow.” Giles corrected her gently.

“You know what I mean, it’s just so exciting, it’s..”

“..exciting.” Tara giggled softly as Willow nodded, still bouncing on the spot.

“Well, I really should get set up,” Giles indicated the guitar case, “I trust I can rely on you not to heckle?”

“Count on it,” Willow promised, “Ok I need a refill, you want another drink Tara?”

Tara looked at her still half full cup, only her first, “n-no thanks.”

“You sure? They have other drinks you know, I mean, if you don’t want Mocha there is plenty of choice?” Tara shook her head again. “Ok, be right back then,” Willow said as she turned and practically skipped to the counter.

Tara glanced toward the small platform that served as a stage and watched as Mr Giles took the guitar from its case. Her opinion of Buffy’s watcher had changed quickly after their first slightly awkward encounter and she now recognised why he held such a special place in Willow’s heart. The parental affection he showed for all of the Scooby gang was obvious in his words and actions and he seemed to fill a particular void for Willow in the absence of any real interest from her own parents. Tara also liked the way that when they had spoken he had instantly treated her with respect and as an equal, unlike so many adults that she had encountered. Watching him fumble with the strap as he positioned the guitar she reflected that there was clearly a lot more beneath the stiff and somewhat reserved image he projected to the outside world. Tara also sensed that beneath the reserve this was a man with a lot of love to offer and she wondered why there wasn’t someone in his life, maybe there had been, she would have to ask Willow in case there was something she ought to know before she opened her mouth and put her foot in it.

Thoughts of Willow persuaded her to shift her gaze back to the redhead who was still bouncing with the combined effects of excitement and caffeine overload as she waited for the drink she certainly didn’t need. In moments like this it was easy to forget the doubts and fears that she still had about their relationship, the warmth of close orbit to the living sun that was Willow banished the cold touch of fear from her heart. She smiled as Willow walked back to the table and met her gaze and was rewarded with a million watt smile in return. Her life felt so complete with this angel to share it with her, perhaps it was natural to fear the loss of something so precious, to fear that there was no way life could be so kind as to allow her to keep this.

“The mama pajama rolled out of bed, and she ran to the police station
When the papa found out, he began to shout, and started the investigation”


Tara was surprised at the choice of song as Mr Giles began to sing, hidden depths indeed. Glancing back from the stage to the redhead at her table she noted that the bouncing had finally stopped as Willow was absorbed in the performance of her friend.

“He is really good isn’t he?”

Tara was surprised when Willow spoke, she had appeared to be completely focused on the singing librarian, it must be the giant brain, multi-tasking no problem she concluded. “Very good,” Tara agreed and then remembering the bowling alley added with a laugh, “much b-better than Xander.”

…………………………………………………………………….

Tara and Willow had sat in near total silence for the duration of Mr Giles performance and yet the time had flown by, Tara had to agree with Willow’s assessment, he really was very good, good enough to have done this professionally. The entire crowd in the Espresso Pump had been respectfully silent as he sang and then equally noisy in their appreciation at the end of each song. Now it seemed the spell was about to be broken as Mr Giles made an all too rare between song comment.

“Thank you, you are very kind,” he cleared his throat softly before continuing, “I have just one more song I would like to play, and in the spirit of this kind of thing I would like to dedicate it to those of you who have found true love.” Clearly somewhat embarrassed at his own comments Mr Giles averted his gaze from the crowd as his fingers began to pick out the melody of the song, a song that Tara instantly recognised as an old favourite of her Mothers. As Mr Giles voice joined the melody of the guitar she understood the comment he had just made, the words taking on new meaning as she gazed at the beautiful girl beside her.

“Some day, when I’m awfully low,
When the world is cold
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.”


Tara found herself really looking at Willow as the song continued, the perfect shape of her mouth, the way her lips slightly parted, the sparkle in those green eyes, the tumble of red curls, all things she had seen before but now she committed them to her memory with the certainty that she would recall this image always, no matter what the future brought. Perhaps her fears for the future had foundation and yet in this moment she realised, even if this were all she had it would be enough to sustain her, better this memory than never to have been with Willow at all.

“Yes you’re lovely, with your smile so warm,
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.”


Willow had often wanted to be someone else, to be popular and beautiful in High School like Cordy, to be strong and brave like Buffy, so many ambitions realised only in fantasy, now she only wished she could sing. If she had the talent then she could think of no better way than singing to express the feelings she had for Tara, the words of this song could have come from her heart, felt as though they had in fact done just that. The soft crooked smile of her love, the deep soulful blue eyes, the poetry of her face, it really did feel as though there was nothing else Willow could do but love her, the way she looked tonight and every other night. Without conscious thought she slid her hand under the table and, finding Tara’s hand resting at her side, entwined her fingers through those of her love.

“With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart,
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.”


Tara felt Willow’s warm hand touch her slightly cooler skin and then their fingers entwined, needing some form of contact. Feeling her heart swell at the rightness of the moment, Tara felt the sting of tears in her eyes, the emotion she was feeling, the surge of love for Willow, too powerful to be contained. Tara wondered at her own foolishness as the words echoed in her mind, the way that Willow looked at her, touched her, how could she ever doubt the feelings behind each gesture. Right now she felt her own fears drifting away like smoke on the breeze as she recognised that Willow had answered every one of her doubts in every moment that they spent together.

“Lovely. Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won’t you please arrange it?
‘Cause I love you. Just the way you look tonight.”


Willow looked directly at Tara as the song neared its end, wondering at the magic the words were casting, Giles was no stranger to the world of magic after all. One glance at Tara though and she knew the only magic was the magic between two lovers, the spell cast by two hearts beating as one. The way Tara’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, the gentle pressure as Tara squeezed her hand beneath the table, there was no doubt Tara felt it just as she did. Willow had never felt love so powerful as she did now in this time and place, what she had imagined to be love before was now exposed for the pale imitation it truly was, this was real and she knew it was all she would ever need from this point on.

“Just the way you look tonight.”

………………………………………………………………….

The Scooby meeting had been pretty unexciting but Tara didn’t care as she allowed her thoughts to drift to more important matters, like kitty cats and a room that was Willow friendly. Willow’s eager agreement to her sneaky plan had exceeded her expectations but then she reflected Willow was always managing to do that. It seemed as though she had been walking on air for days now and her angel showed no signs of allowing her to come back down to earth anytime soon. Glancing at Willow again she wondered if she was reading the signs right, there had been a suggestion in Willow’s demeanour that she wanted to say something at the conclusion of the meeting and her insistence on Tara’s attendance might be a clue to what that something was.

Tara steered herself away from that line of thought before she got too far ahead of herself, Willow had asked for time and the way she felt right now she could take all the time she wanted. Tara realised her happiness had nothing to do with what the outside world knew or didn’t know about her love for Willow, all that mattered was that she knew what she had and finally she thought that she did. Her good mood was not even dented by the outbreak of snippy hostility between Mr Giles and Anya; it was just a spat, nothing to worry about.

Lost in her thoughts Tara took a moment to realise that the squabbling had stopped suddenly and a hush had fallen over the room. Finally registering that something was happening she joined the others in looking toward the door where a slight young man stood, a young man whose appearance had left everyone looking as though they had seen a ghost. Confused she looked to Willow for answers and was shocked to see her love visibly upset, tears already forming in those beautiful green eyes.

“Oz.” Willow’s voice was haunted as she finally broke the silence.

“Oz.” Tara heard herself echo as understanding came and then the world seemed to lurch beneath her feet and she felt as though she were falling.

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TARA: Breakfast will make all things better.
WILLOW: Ooh, pancakes could go in bellies.

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 6:27 pm 
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4. Extra Flamey
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Oh... oh! I love the bowling date hehe, that was funny. I actually love the whole update, how I could actually point out where they were in the show, and you just have this so good :)

Now it's... Oz time... wonder how you'll write that part, can't wait to read it :D

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:47 pm 
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5. Willowhand

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Nice update. I like how you filled in the time. I agree, I really did not like the episode that was basically Buffy and Riley. *shudders* Ick. "Nough said there. The bowling night was a nice touch as was Giles singing the following night at the Espresso Pump. And what a place to leave it! Should be interesting. Keep up the great work.


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 9:39 pm 
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19. Yummy Face

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Location: Raleigh, NC
Whoa! What a place to end!

I feel so sorry for Tara in this update. It must have been awful to feel that she is being used, but I am glad she is feeling so much better later on, atleast until Oz shows up.

I am a little disappointed Willow and Tara don't discuss the incident where Tara withdraws from Willow's touch. I would have like to have known what is going on in Tara's mind when she is affected by the spirits.

I am not a big fan of this episode either, but at the risk of being ridiculed, I like the Buffy and Riley relationship. Up until his last few episodes, Riley treats Buffy like a queen. Also, I rather watch Buffy and Riley than watch Buffy and Spike beat the crap out of each other during sex or that disgusting balcony scene in season sux. I don't know what Buffy and Spike were supposed to be. :spin

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 10:34 pm 
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Have I told you that I love this story? :D I actually got up and did a little happy dance when I saw there was not one, but two updates! You are quite the prolific updater!

I just want to throw my 2 cents in about the timing of the whole "when did they say I love you." You can say "I love you" until you're blue in the face, and even taking into consideration that actions do speak louder than words, you never really know if the other person believes you or accepts it. Tara wants to believe and in the face of all her doubts, starts to accept the fact that Willow does love her. However, when faced with the return of Oz and the echo of what Fuffy (?) said to her in WAY ("...never seen 2 ppl so in love...), I could see how Tara would either start to doubt or just outright believe that Willow doesn't love her, despite Willow's words and actions. Hence, the "be with the person you love." Besides, we the viewers had no idea if Willow confided in Tara about her feelings for and about Oz. We can only assume and you know what that can lead to...

I really enjoyed your Tara's take on Riley....never really liked the boy myself. I also enjoyed the observations she had about Xander and Anya. I always thought Tara and Anya 'clicked', mostly because of them being the outsiders to the core Scooby gang. It's also believable that Buffy and Tara didn't click right away and I could imagine a bunch of awkward moments between them. Heck, even the scene at the morgue in "The Body" was awkward. The only common ground there ever was, IMO, was Willow and I don't believe Buffy and Tara would have ever clicked. Best you could hope for is friends by extension. And just for the record, I don't count the scene from "Dead Things" as clicking...just a convenient outlet for Buffy's guilt.

Anyhoo, you've got a tough chapter coming up and I am so very looking forward to reading it.

Ciao.

Del


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 8:16 am 
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Aww, that was so great. I loved the whole bowling scene..it was pretty sweet to read. I can't wait to read what happens with Oz.. Love sam xx

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"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong and those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler. [Evan Rachel Wood]

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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 10:28 am 
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I'm enjoying your romp through the missing scenes in Season 4. I always love these missing scenes fics. And of course, that was just a horribly wonderful cliff-hanger place to leave us. :)

I'm looking forward to seeing your take on this episode.

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"People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as 'Is this the laundry?', 'How do you spell surreptitious?' and, on a regular basis, 'Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins.'" -- Terry Pratchett


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 Post subject: Re: New Fic - Between The Lines
PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 12:12 pm 
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Hey RaspberryHats - thanks for the plug for UberCon '05 in the update thread! I must take issue with one thing though - I would not at all classify your story as significantly less accomplished, and reading your fic is not at all a waste of time!

And speaking of this update, it was fantastic. You managed to capture the time between the episodes very well, with the references to bowling, the part at the military frat house, and NMR of course. I forget how Willow didn't like Anya - she was pretty unkind to her during the show, and that also is reflected in your fic. It was good to hear the explanation for why - sometimes I also forget that Anya was around in high school too.

What really is coming through here for me is how Tara's insecurity about their relationship is sort of a constant. I think that's very true to canon also - I used to question why she left the Scooby meeting so abruptly when Oz came back, because in the snippets of canon that we saw she seemed very confident with Willow and their relationship, but of course WIllow keeping their relationship in the closet would take its toll on her self-confidence, and you do such a good job of giving us a window into her head.

I also liked the little peek of the R-rated moment. It was a neat way to start off the chapter, on the tail end of their sex. (I just said "tail end of their sex," which is now bringing up some unrelated thought's about Chris story Gold in the Elemental Series.) Where was I? Anyway, I thought that was a neat device because it seems that a lot of scenes end with them either doing it or about to do it and fade to black, and beginning the scene that way was refreshing and unexpected. Not to mention well done and well written.

Great update! I'm so looking forward to what you do with during/post NMR.

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