Disclaimer As ever, this is a non profit fic for the amusement of the Kittens which just happens to utilise the characters of Joss Whedon.
Feedback Yes please, thank you.
Rating Some slightly R rated moments ahead.
Background Season 4. This chapter takes place around the period of 'Where The wild Things Are' but only mentions the events of that episode in passing. To be honest it's not an episode I am particularly fond of, the endless Buffy and Riley writhing shots were not pleasant. So instead this is what our girls were up to.
Between The Lines
Chapter Eleven – Meet The Family
Tara gazed around in wonderment, the throbbing sound of the music, the lights, the noise and all of the people, it was like something from a dream, or maybe it was a nightmare, she couldn’t quite decide. When Willow had told her that they were going bowling with Anya and Xander she had been unable to decide how she felt about that and now that she was here she still couldn’t decide. On the one hand it was nice to be able to socialise with Willow’s friends, being part of Willow’s life was something she had wanted from the start. On the other hand though, it was difficult to have to act as though they were just friends and nothing more, especially when the other couple started nuzzling and cooing like they were at the moment. In any case, leaving aside her discomfort at having to pretend she was not attracted to Willow she had another reason to wonder if this was such a good idea, she had never been bowling before and she was afraid she wouldn’t be very good at it.
“Hey Tara,” Xander called over the noise of the crowded bowling alley, “can I get you a drink?”
“Um, s-sure, water please.”
“Gotcha,” Xander called back, “Will, you want something sugary?”
“Coke, non diet.” Willow confirmed with a smile.
“Be right back,” Xander flashed a smile at both girls as he made his way over to the bar area.
Tara watched the young man walk away, unable to stifle a laugh as he broke into some impromptu dance moves as he walked, doubtless inspired by the fabulous selection of cheesy eighties hits playing over the sound system. She was slowly forming opinions on Willow’s friends as she got to spend more time with them and she definitely found Xander easier to get along with than most, he was much more open and straightforward than the others, qualities that Tara appreciated. Watching Xander interact with Willow it was also clear just how much love existed between the old friends, Xander’s affection for Willow was written all over his face whenever they spoke and that scored him mucho points with Tara.
“Lane available for Rosenberg.” The slightly disembodied voice crackled over the P.A, momentarily interrupting ‘The Safety Dance’.
“Woot,” Willow jumped to her feet, beckoning for Tara to join her as Anya also stood up, “this is the best bit,” Willow confided, “we have to get bowling shoes.”
“There are b-bowling shoes?” Tara couldn’t decide what was more amusing, the need for special shoes or the fact that this seemed exciting to Willow.
“Of course,” Willow stared at Tara in amazement, “did you think you could bowl in your regular shoes?”
“Um, sweetie,” Tara whispered so that Anya wouldn’t hear the endearment, “I don’t think I could b-bowl in any kind of shoes, I told you, no co-ordination.”
“I hope I don’t get the smelly man’s shoes,” Anya protested loudly as they neared the counter, “this is so unhygienic.”
“The smelly man?” Tara asked without thinking.
“Him,” Anya pointed to another customer, easily within earshot, “from the odour I don’t think anyone has told him what soap is.”
“Anya!” Willow’s face turned blood red with embarrassment, “do you have to do that?”
“Do what? If I smelled like that I would hope someone told me so I could do something about it.” Thankfully the man in question was busy talking to a friend and did not appear to hear Anya’s opinion of his personal hygiene, “you get your smelly shoes,” Anya continued, “I think I had better tell Xander which lane we are in or he will just end up wandering around lost with my drink and I am thirsty.” Without waiting for a response Anya set off to find Xander and her wayward drink.
Tara was not sure what to make of Anya, she was certainly far more complex than Xander but then that was generally true whenever you compared women to men. Anya was certainly as honest as Xander and being consistent Tara had to admire that but still, there was definitely an issue with boundaries and what constituted acceptable behaviour. Willow had briefly explained the whole ex-demon thing so it was understandable but Tara suspected that much of the time Anya simply chose to ignore social conventions simply to get a reaction. Instinctively Tara felt that she liked Anya and they could be friends but that was somewhat complicated by the fact that Willow clearly did not like Anya at all. Willow probably had her reasons and they were probably more substantial than simply being overprotective of Xander but she had not chosen to share those reasons as yet. Tara suspected that Willow was being more than a little unfair to Anya but for now she chose to keep that observation to herself.
Tara stood, bowling shoes in place, ready to follow Willow to their lane or whatever it was called.
“Wow Tara,” Tara looked up to find Willow staring at her, “wow, I mean look at you, with the shoes, wow.”
“Um sweetie,” Tara again risked the endearment as they were temporarily alone, “are you m-making fun of me or should I get worried?”
“Worried?” Willow looked quizzically at Tara as they walked to the lane, “why would you be worried?”
“Bowling shoes,” Tara explained, “I mean, if you were all w-wow over lingerie or something then ok but bowling shoes, it’s kind of strange.”
“Well, hmm,” Willow began nervously as they reached their lane and she sat down to begin entering their names on the electronic scorecard, “it’s a, a quirk you know, it’s meant to be cute I think, you must have quirks right?”
“Not like that,” Tara shook her head, “I do think it’s kind of c-cute though,” she continued with a crooked smile, “I like that you are one of a kind.”
“A true original,” Willow declared with a laugh, “I think I might have warned you about this already.” Willow’s eyes widened as she looked up, “ah our man servant is bringing the drinks and unfortunately he still has Anya with him.”
Tara felt an irrational urge to scold Willow for the uncharacteristically mean comment but there was no opportunity as their friends were already too close for her to speak in private.
“You spin me right round baby, right round,” Xander attempted a clumsy twirl, almost spilling the drinks as he approached, “like a record baby.” Willow joined in the impromptu sing along and Tara noticed a scowl flash across Anya’s face, so the dislike was mutual she concluded. Sooner or later this would have to be tackled or somebody would end up hurt and she doubted that was what anyone really wanted.
“So how d-does this work again?” Tara asked, anxious to interrupt the singing before the scowl on Anya’s face became a full-blooded glare.
“Easy,” Willow began with a patient smile, “you take the bowling ball.”
“You aim at the pins, those things at the end of the lane.” Xander continued.
“You try to knock as many over as you can,” Willow concluded, “pins go smash o crash and you are doing good.”
“That’s all?”
“Yep, no wait,” Willow giggled, “if you knock all the pins over that’s a strike, then you get to take another turn and you can double up on your points but that’s not the best part.”
“Oh, what’s the b-best part?” Tara asked, already confused by the seemingly simple rules and dreading the moment when she would have to take her turn, co-ordination not being her strong suit.
“If you get a strike Xander has to do the chicken dance,” Willow howled with laughter, “I bet him you would get at least one and that’s his forfeit if you can do it.”
“I think he is safe,” Tara joined in the laughter, “what’s your forfeit if I don’t manage to get a stroke?”
“Stroke?” Willow doubled over as she shook with laughter, “stop it, I nearly choked on my soda.”
“What did I do?” Tara asked in bemusement.
“It’s strike Tara,” Xander managed to say through his own guffaws, “and if I win the bet I am getting a muffin basket, home delivered by our very own Miss Rosenberg.”
“Oh s-sorry,” Tara joined in the laughter as she realised her gaffe, “and sorry Willow, Xander is getting muffins I think.”
“You hear that,” Xander crowed, “sugary goodness for Harris.”
“Don’t count your chickens, chicken boy,” Willow wagged her finger in Xander’s gloating face, “Tara’s got game, she just doesn’t know it yet.”
“So do we start now?” Anya interrupted the laughing trio, clearly unimpressed with the joke; either that or she didn’t get it.
“Sure Ahn,” Xander nodded at his girlfriend, “Willow has got you up first.”
“So I can make a fool of myself,” Anya huffed but went ahead and took her turn as the other three regained control of themselves, the giggling fit subsiding.
……………………………………………………………
Willow was having a great time she decided as she accompanied Xander back to the bar for more drinks, Anya apart they were all having fun and she was delighted at how well Xander and Tara were getting along. She had not really doubted them, Tara was lovable in an infinite variety of ways and she knew that Xander had a good heart and always looked for the best in people. It would be nice if this could be a real double date but so long as she was still not ready to out herself it was almost as good as the real thing, getting to be with her love and her oldest friend and bask in the joy of seeing them hit it off so well.
“Tara’s great Will,” Xander commented as they waited to be served, “I mean, she seemed so shy at first but she has a cool sense of humour once she relaxes.”
“Right,” Willow nodded, “I thought you two would hit it off.”
“Woah,” Xander looked momentarily alarmed, “I know you don’t exactly like me being with Anya but you aren’t trying to set me up are you?”
“Xander, don’t you even think about it.” Willow answered a lit more loudly than she had intended.
“I wasn’t,” Xander held up his hands to placate the momentarily fired up Willow, “I just thought for a second, you know, guess thinking didn’t work out too well for me huh?”
“Does it ever,” Willow teased, “seriously Xander, I love you to death but trust me, you are not Tara’s type.”
“Way to soften the blow Will,” Xander feigned a hurt expression, “you could have spared my ego, told me she was involved or something but no, you have to get straight to the part where she is out of my league.”
“Not so much out of your league just it’s never going to happen so don’t even start with that line of thought, I know how you are about blondes that I get friendly with.”
“That’s blonde, single not plural,” Xander protested, “anyway I am so over Buffy in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“If you say so,” Willow turned as the server approached, “two cokes, one carbonated water and a ginger beer thanks.”
“So Tara is a Witch too huh? I mean that’s how you met right, the whole Wicca group thing?”
“Yep Tara is a Witch, but not like me exactly,” Willow explained, “she has been practicing like, all her life, she is way more powerful than me although she tries to pretend she isn’t.”
“Really powerful then,” Xander nodded, “you are no slouch these days Will.”
“Really powerful,” Willow confirmed, “so keep your hands to yourself Mister or you might end your days as a frog.”
“Hey, I wasn’t even thinking it,” Xander managed to look alarmed, “but it’s hard to believe, I mean she seems so nice, not like some scary Witch.”
“She is nice,” Willow nodded, “and hey, witch standing right here, standing exactly right here, watch the stereotyping Harris.”
“Oh you aren’t scary,” Xander laughed, “unless I steal your Barbie.”
“Better believe it,” Willow joined in the laughter, “hands off my Barbie.”
“So Will,” Xander changed the topic, his voice becoming more serious, “it’s cool that you have a new friend, I am like yay for Tara, but I was kind of hoping you had found something else, you know, like a new guy.”
“Thanks, keep the change,” Willow paid for the drinks and indicated Xander should help her carry them, “why do you say that?”
“Well, you were so low after Oz and then lately,” Xander spoke as he weaved around the other customers, “you seemed to be getting your happy back, I just thought maybe, especially after you bought those Roses.”
“No, no new guy,” Willow shook her head, “I mean, that’s no bad thing, I have my friends and you are right, I am happy,” she kicked Xander playfully in the shin as they picked their way through the crowd, “and sorry to bruise your ego but I don’t need a guy to be happy.”
“Well ok, and ow,” Xander protested, “I just thought I would ask, no need to go all Buffy on me.”
“Sorry, I forget how fragile you are,” Willow teased, “come on, let’s get back to the game before Anya sends out a search party.” Willow frowned momentarily as they made their way back, she didn’t like being dishonest with Xander but she had to be careful, he had already noticed more than Buffy and if she wasn’t careful even he might put the clues together. She might be approaching the point where she could tell her friends but she wanted to choose the time and place, not be found out and risk Xander or anyone feeling offended that she had been keeping secrets from them.
“Willow,” Tara shouted excitedly, hopping from foot to foot as she waved at the approaching pair, “I got a s-strike.”
“You did?” Willow beamed with pride.
“She did,” Anya confirmed, “it was amazing, I don’t think she even had her eyes open.”
“Hear that Xander,” Willow laughed, “come on chicken boy, dance.”
……………………………………………………………………
“Every breath you take,” Xander crooned in an alarmingly off-key manner as they exited the bowling alley.
“Every strike Tara makes,” Willow joined in with a giggle.
“Come on Will, quit rubbing it in,” Xander protested, “it was just a lucky shot.”
“Four lucky shots,” corrected Willow, “and we all saw the dancing to prove it.”
“You’re a hard woman Will, spare a thought for the guy who missed out on a muffin basket. I thought it was a sure thing the way Tara was talking, I am beginning to think this was a professional set up.”
“Right,” Willow laughed, “Tara and I go around fixing bowling games to get guys dancing, it’s a good time.”
“It could happen,” Xander said defensively, “you sure you didn’t cheat Tara? I mean like with a spell? Willow makes you sound like a real Sabrina.”
“I wouldn’t” Tara shook her head furiously, “that’s not what m-magic is for and, and you are teasing me aren’t you?”
“A little bit,” Xander smiled at the shy blonde, “Willow is too smart to fall for my jokes now, it’s nice to have someone new who doesn’t have me all figured out.”
“Tell you what Xander,” Willow said magnanimously, “seeing as you were such a good sport about the whole thing I think I can spring for some muffins as a thank you for entertaining us.”
“Cool, you should have just said that to begin with,” Xander beamed at Willow, “I will dance for food, I have no issues with self-respect when free stuff is on offer.”
“This is our turn-off,” Anya spoke up as they reached the intersection, “well it was fun, Xander and I have to go and do something couples do now.”
“Too much information Anya,” Willow muttered, “Ok, night guys, it was fun.”
“Bye,” Tara gave a shy wave toward the retreating pair.
“Wait until the re-match,” Xander shouted back at them, “and don’t forget the muffins Willow, but not too early, you guys wore me out.”
Tara waited until Xander and Anya were out of sight and then felt Willow’s hand slip into hers and gently turn her toward the UC Sunnydale Campus. It had been a good night she decided, the bowling had been a lot more fun than she had expected and she really did like Xander, even Anya was good company once you got used to her ways. Now she wanted to finish off the night by taking Willow back to her room and getting to do all the kissing and holding that they couldn’t do in public.
“So did you have a good time?” Willow asked as they walked hand in hand.
“I did,” Tara answered truthfully, “I mean, the b-bowling was fun, and I didn’t think it would be but it was and Xander and Anya are nice.”
“Xander is nice,” Willow agreed pointedly not mentioning Anya.
“Willow,” Tara decided to get to the bottom of this, “why don’t you like Anya?”
“Hello, ex vengeance demon, dating my best friend,” Willow explained, “kind of an accident waiting to happen.”
“She isn’t a d-demon anymore though,” Tara reasoned, “what do you think she could do to him?”
“I don’t know, lots of things,” Willow huffed, “she has 1,000 years of experience at this kind of thing, she must still have a few tricks up her sleeve.”
“Ok,” Tara nodded in agreement, “but there is something else isn’t there? I mean, she must have already d-done something to upset you.”
“Oh she did,” Willow confirmed, “first time I ever spoke to her she tricked me into doing a spell and it was, gross.” Willow shivered at the memory.
“Gross? What did she make you do?” Tara’s curiosity was aroused now and a hint of jealousy too, she hadn’t known Willow had ever cast with someone else before.
“Oh, she wanted to get her demon powers back,” Willow explained, “so straight away there is the evidence that she hasn’t changed, anyway, she got me to help her fold reality so she could bring back the necklace that bore her powers.”
“But it d-didn’t work?”
“Oh it worked,” Willow continued in hushed tones, “only instead of her necklace we brought something far worse back, this was an alternate world remember, and in this world I..” The memory was still a painful one and Willow felt choked with emotion as she tried to explain.
“It’s ok Willow,” Tara could see the distress on Willow’s face, “we can t-talk about something else.”
“No, I just,” Willow composed herself, determined to finish this now she had started, “in this world I was a vampire,” Tara’s eyes widened in horror as Willow spoke, “it was a world where Buffy never came to Sunnydale and the vampires controlled the town,” Willow stopped walking and turned to face Tara, “I was one of them, that’s what the spell brought back.”
“Oh Willow,” Tara’s mind reeled with horror at the thought of her love turned to a soulless demon, “it m-must have been horrible.”
“It was,” Willow agreed fiercely, “it was like my worst nightmare come to life and yet in the end, I couldn’t let Buffy kill it, kill me.”
“Because she was like you?”
“Oh no,” Willow shook her head vehemently, “she was nothing like me, she was all evil and domineering and she wore this skanky, skin tight leather outfit.” Willow’s nose wrinkled in distaste at the memory.
“L-leather,” Tara squeaked before she even knew she had opened her mouth.
“What was that?”
“Uh n-nothing,” Tara blushed at her indiscretion, this was a serious conversation but somehow as soon as Willow had mentioned the outfit she had started imagining what it would look like, and she liked what she saw.
“Something you want to tell me?” Willow asked, amused now, her dark mood of a few moments ago forgotten, “something about leather?”
“N-no,” Tara shook her head vigorously, her blush deepening to crimson.
“No?” Willow arched an eyebrow as she tried to catch Tara’s gaze, “you sure went a funny colour as soon as I started talking about the leather outfit.”
“W-Well,” Tara couldn’t hold out under that inquisitive gaze, “I just thought, you know, and the thoughts c-came with pictures and they were,” Tara looked at the floor too embarrassed to make eye contact, “they were n-nice.”
“Leather huh,” Willow couldn’t hide her amusement, “I guess I need to keep that in mind for the future, hey,” she suddenly remembered the outfit she had almost never worn, “I have these green leather pants in my closet.”
“W-willow,” Tara looked pleadingly at her girlfriend, “can we change the subject?”
“I guess,” Willow smirked, “but tell me, is it because I am embarrassing you or because I am turning you on?” Hand in hand the girls resumed walking.
“B-both.” Tara barely whispered.
Willow leaned over, her lips inches away from Tara’s ear as she spoke, “did I say it was skin tight leather? I can’t remember?”
“N-not fair,” Tara breathed as she quickened her pace, tugging Willow along with her.
“Black, skin tight leather,” Willow repeated as she hurried to match Tara’s step.
“B-bowling shoes,” Tara giggled, as the fast walk became a jog.
“Oh my,” Willow tightened her grip on Tara’s hand and started to run, “we need to be home, like right now.” Matching Willow’s stride Tara couldn’t have agreed more.
……………………………………………………………………..
Tara gazed at Willow as she lay on the grass, head propped on one arm as she pretended to listen to Riley talking tactics with Buffy. The young man seemed to be able to talk for hours about manoeuvres, fighting techniques and weaponry, at least it seemed he had been talking for hours about those things. The impromptu picnic was another part of Willow’s transparent plan to introduce Tara to her friends in social settings, hastily arranged during the lunch break when they were all on Campus and at a loose end. The idea was ok in principle but Buffy and Riley were all business and so Tara found herself tuning out their conversation and instead gazing at her angel who, no doubt through years of practice, managed to at least appear interested in the conversation.
Tara was struggling with her feelings toward Riley, as nice as he appeared on the surface she could not ignore the signs of an altogether less pleasant personality beneath the surface. No doubt she was somewhat influenced by the fact that he had pushed Willow over when she had tried to stop him leaving Xander’s basement that time, Willow might forgive him but Tara could not, she knew all about men who were willing to use force against women and had hoped she had left all that behind her when she came to Sunnydale. There was something else there too, Tara could read body language pretty well and it was clear that even as Riley was complimenting Buffy on her speed and strength his eyes were saying something else. Some men simply could not handle being bettered by a woman and as much as he tried to hide it Riley was clearly one of those men. It was an ego thing, nothing Riley could do would make him as strong as Buffy and sooner or later his resentment of that fact would spell trouble for both of them.
There was no escaping it, no matter how hard she tried she was never going to be able to like Riley, she could tolerate him for Willow’s sake but she would do all she could to avoid his company unless it was absolutely necessary. Unfortunately that did not include tonight, Riley and his friends were throwing a party and she had already accepted the invitation to tag along with Willow and the gang.
“Tara, you want anything else to eat?” Buffy’s voice alerted Tara to the fact that Riley had finally shut up about his equipment or whatever.
“N-no thanks Buffy,” Tara smiled at the petite blonde, “I already ate too much.” Tara was full but she had barely eaten a thing compared to Buffy and Willow, how two girls managed to put away such vast quantities of food and stay so slim was beyond belief.
“More for me then,” the Slayer declared happily, “hey, who took the chicken sandwich?”
“Sorry Buffy, survival of the fastest,” Willow crowed as she took a huge bite from the sandwich in question.
“Ok,” Buffy rummaged through their things, “but that means I get your cookie,” she declared triumphantly, holding the sugary treat aloft in delight.
“Fine,” Willow said after hastily swallowing her mouthful, “but I should warn you I already licked it.”
“Eww, gross Will,” Buffy dropped the cookie with a look of distaste that changed to one of outrage as Willow snatched it up.
“Fooled you,” Willow poked out her tongue before retreating quickly out of Slaying range.
Tara giggled at the scene in front of her, the mock squabbling over the spoils of the picnic basket was indicative of a deep bond of affection between the two friends. For all of the mock glowers Buffy was now shooting in Willow’s direction it was obvious how much the Slayer adored her redheaded friend. Tara definitely liked Buffy but was having difficulty finding common ground with her outside of their shared affection for Willow. Buffy had thanked her repeatedly for her role in summoning the Katra that had allowed her to get her body back from Faith but when they tried to make small talk they had stumbled into silence. Willow had mentioned that Buffy had a very fun loving side to her character but it seemed that her obligations were weighing heavily on her lately and her worry showed on her face, especially when she thought no-one was looking.
“Err Buffy,” Riley looked at his watch, “we have about 30 minutes before class and didn’t you want to do that thing?”
“Yep, that thing,” Buffy jumped to her feet straight away with a sly grin, “see you tonight guys,” she added over her shoulder as she rushed off with her boyfriend for some alone time.
“Cool, we get all the leftovers.” Willow beamed happily.
“You get all the l-leftovers sweetie,” Tara smiled indulgently, “I am full remember.”
“I thought you were just being polite, you hardly ate a thing and I need you to keep your strength up,” Willow tried for a seductive look, “I have big after party plans for you.”
“Your plans are safe,” Tara re-assured her, “but lets not stay out too late ok?”
“Ok,” Willow agreed but a small frown crossed her face, “although I am getting the feeling maybe you don’t want to go the party at all.”
“Well, soldier guys, n-not really my scene,” Tara offered unconvincingly, “I just think, you know, I won’t fit in.”
Willow’s frown deepened as she considered Tara’s words, “is this really a you thing or is it an us thing?”
“N-no,” Tara began to lie but Willow was looking at her in a way that wouldn’t allow her to avoid the truth, “well sort of, it’s just, Buffy will be with Riley and Xander will be with Anya but we won’t be..”
“..together.” Willow completed the sentence for her.
“Really, it’s ok,” Tara could hear the false note in her own voice, “I d-don’t mind the..”
“..pretending to be just friends.” Willow again finished Tara’s sentence for her and then sighed as she broke eye contact to look at the ground, “I know it’s hard not being all coupley when we are with other couples, I mean, I hate it too but..”
“..you aren’t ready to come out.” Two could play at this game Tara thought as she finished off Willow’s excuse for her.
“Right,” Willow nodded looking just a little shamefaced, “I will soon I promise,” she looked up and caught Tara’s gaze, her voice dropping to a near whisper, “I just need a little more time.”
“I get it Willow, I do,” Tara let out a sigh of her own, “it’s just hard, not knowing.”
“Knowing when I will be ready?” Willow jumped to the wrong conclusion.
“Y-yes,” Tara nodded. No, Tara thought to herself, not knowing if what we have means the same to you as it does to me.
“Soon,” Willow promised again, “ok?”
Tara nodded again, not trusting herself to answer the question directly, she didn’t want to upset Willow or create a scene but still she felt the occasional nagging doubts that somehow this was all going to slip away. The initial rush of the new relationship was fading and as each day passed it was harder to ignore the rut they were so quickly falling into. Tara loved every second she spent with Willow, but as each day passed that Willow denied the nature of their relationship to her friends but then came to her bed in the night, it became harder to shake the fear that she might be being used. Most of the time she felt sure that Willow shared her feelings but each time she acted as though Tara was her guilty secret it hurt. The unspoken fear that she was just part of an experimental phase for Willow haunted her in these moments and preyed on the doubts she had carried with her for as long as she could remember.
Aware of the slightly awkward silence that was growing between them Tara decided to change the topic to something safe, forcing a smile she didn’t really feel back on to her face she spoke, “what are you g-going to wear tonight?”
……………………………………………………………………
Willow gave a cry of ecstasy as she arched her back and then, with a final shudder of pleasure, she sank back onto the sheets, “mmm baby, that was amazing.”
Tara worked her way back up over the contours of Willow’s body, pausing to plant the occasional kiss or bite on the hot skin of her love, until finally her head emerged from the top of the sheets, blonde hair tussled in a way that surely only Willow could find sexy. “I t-told you your plans were safe,” she smiled crookedly at the contented face of her angel as she brought her head to rest alongside the splash of red curls on her pillow.
“So true,” Willow turned on her side to face her girlfriend, “but that was so much more than I had planned, I mean,” Willow stole a quick kiss, “the way you just took control ” Willow giggled, “Mistress Tara.”
Tara giggled in reply as the ludicrous image of herself as a dominatrix sprang into her mind, “not quite,” she joked, “I didn’t get as far as the s-spanking.”
“Everybody’s getting spanked but me.” Willow laughed, remembering using those words not so long ago when she thought she was the only one of the gang with no-one to love.
“Pardon?”
“Oh, just an in-joke,” Willow explained, “makes sense to me and, well, me.”
“Well, I don’t think there is going to b-be any spanking tonight.”
“Why not?” Willow protested with a mock pout.
“Well, it’s pretty late,” Tara glanced at the clock, “very late,” she corrected herself, “I think we b-broke a few records tonight.”
“Haunted house mojo,” Willow nodded recalling the unexpected events at Riley’s party, “I think everybody was pretty wound up after that.”
“I d-don’t think so,” Tara shook her head gently, “personally speaking I think it was Willow mojo.”
Willow’s smile widened and she stole another quick kiss, “definitely Tara mojo.”
“Something about us then,” Tara returned Willow’s smile, “but tonight was pretty weird.”
“I know, I mean, I never even knew he could sing.”
Tara was confused for a second before she caught up with willow’s train of thought, “oh Mr Giles, I meant the p-party.”
“I know silly,” Willow laughed, “but still, definitely a night full of surprises, and he was really good.”
“He was,” Tara agreed, “so you n-never knew?”
“Nuh-uh,” Willow shook her head, “for a second I thought maybe Anya had been playing alternate realities again.”
“I just assumed he d-did it all the time,” Tara smiled then remembered something, “so you want to see him s-sing again?”
“I would,” Willow answered enthusiastically, “but I don’t think there is much chance of him letting us know if he does decide to do it again, he seemed pretty embarrassed when he saw us there.”
“Oh we can see him t-tomorrow,” Tara spoke then remembering the time corrected herself, “I mean tonight.”
“Where?”
“Espresso Pump again,” Tara explained, “when you were t-talking to Giles I overheard someone say he was playing again tonight.”
“Cool,” Willow’s excitement was obvious, “mocha and Giles singing, big fun.”
“It’s a date then, m-mochas are on me though.”
“Wow,” Willow’s eyes sparkled, “what if they were? I mean, actually on you, Mocha and Tara, how would that taste?”
Tara laughed at the image that created, “only you w-would think of that sweetie.”
“Still, it’s a thought for, you know, some future time.” Willow showed no indication of letting the idea go.
“Here is another thought, it’s almost 4 in the morning, d-don’t you want to get some sleep?”
“Oh no,” Willow’s eyes sparkled again, “not until you get your turn,” she added as she slowly began to kiss her way down Tara’s suddenly very awake body.
…………………………………………………………………………
Willow bounced in her seat as she checked her watch yet again, “did you hear what time he was coming?” She asked Tara, not for the first time.
“N-no sweetie,” Tara smiled tolerantly, “you asked me that already.”
“I know, it’s just exciting,” Willow explained the obvious, “Giles is coming here to sing, it’s like knowing a rock star, I know a rock star.”
“Umm, rock stars play at the Espresso Pump?” Tara laughed at Willow’s overactive imagination.
“Well, it’s sort of like that,” Willow sipped her mocha and made a face, “oh, I am out again, need to get another.”
“Willow, you h-had three already,” Tara cautioned, “Buffy warned me about mixing you and caffeine in too high quantities.”
“I can handle it.” Willow pouted.
Pouted deliciously thought Tara, “um so the b-bouncing in the seat is you handling it?”
“Sure, I can…he’s here,” Willow suddenly shrieked and bounced right off her seat as she stood and waved at Giles.
“Ah Willow,” Giles greeted her with a pained expression on his face, “I didn’t think you would be here.”
“Hello to you too Giles,” Willow laughed, still bouncing on the soles of her feet, “I wouldn’t miss this for anything, Tara heard you were playing and so here I am.”
“Hello Tara,” Giles nodded as he noticed the shy blonde sitting quietly at the table, “I don’t suppose I can persuade you to leave? A bribe maybe? I have some new volumes on nature rituals back at the apartment.”
“No way,” Willow shook her head, “I have been looking forward to this all day.”
“Of course,” Giles removed his glasses and began polishing furiously, “what could be more entertaining than watching me make a fool of myself in public.”
“You think that?” Willow managed to look a trifle hurt, “I wanted to come because I want to hear you sing, you were really good last night.”
“You really think so?” Giles smiled at the unexpected compliment.
“She means it Mr G-Giles,” Tara spoke softly, “all day she has been t-talking about you and right before you came in she said you were like a rock star.”
“A rock star eh,” Giles smile grew wider as he mulled that over, “you actually said that Willow?”
“Oh yes, I mean with the singing and the crowd and the Mochas, it’s totally like a real concert.”
“They don’t usually drink Mochas at rock concerts Willow.” Giles corrected her gently.
“You know what I mean, it’s just so exciting, it’s..”
“..exciting.” Tara giggled softly as Willow nodded, still bouncing on the spot.
“Well, I really should get set up,” Giles indicated the guitar case, “I trust I can rely on you not to heckle?”
“Count on it,” Willow promised, “Ok I need a refill, you want another drink Tara?”
Tara looked at her still half full cup, only her first, “n-no thanks.”
“You sure? They have other drinks you know, I mean, if you don’t want Mocha there is plenty of choice?” Tara shook her head again. “Ok, be right back then,” Willow said as she turned and practically skipped to the counter.
Tara glanced toward the small platform that served as a stage and watched as Mr Giles took the guitar from its case. Her opinion of Buffy’s watcher had changed quickly after their first slightly awkward encounter and she now recognised why he held such a special place in Willow’s heart. The parental affection he showed for all of the Scooby gang was obvious in his words and actions and he seemed to fill a particular void for Willow in the absence of any real interest from her own parents. Tara also liked the way that when they had spoken he had instantly treated her with respect and as an equal, unlike so many adults that she had encountered. Watching him fumble with the strap as he positioned the guitar she reflected that there was clearly a lot more beneath the stiff and somewhat reserved image he projected to the outside world. Tara also sensed that beneath the reserve this was a man with a lot of love to offer and she wondered why there wasn’t someone in his life, maybe there had been, she would have to ask Willow in case there was something she ought to know before she opened her mouth and put her foot in it.
Thoughts of Willow persuaded her to shift her gaze back to the redhead who was still bouncing with the combined effects of excitement and caffeine overload as she waited for the drink she certainly didn’t need. In moments like this it was easy to forget the doubts and fears that she still had about their relationship, the warmth of close orbit to the living sun that was Willow banished the cold touch of fear from her heart. She smiled as Willow walked back to the table and met her gaze and was rewarded with a million watt smile in return. Her life felt so complete with this angel to share it with her, perhaps it was natural to fear the loss of something so precious, to fear that there was no way life could be so kind as to allow her to keep this.
“The mama pajama rolled out of bed, and she ran to the police station When the papa found out, he began to shout, and started the investigation”
Tara was surprised at the choice of song as Mr Giles began to sing, hidden depths indeed. Glancing back from the stage to the redhead at her table she noted that the bouncing had finally stopped as Willow was absorbed in the performance of her friend.
“He is really good isn’t he?”
Tara was surprised when Willow spoke, she had appeared to be completely focused on the singing librarian, it must be the giant brain, multi-tasking no problem she concluded. “Very good,” Tara agreed and then remembering the bowling alley added with a laugh, “much b-better than Xander.”
…………………………………………………………………….
Tara and Willow had sat in near total silence for the duration of Mr Giles performance and yet the time had flown by, Tara had to agree with Willow’s assessment, he really was very good, good enough to have done this professionally. The entire crowd in the Espresso Pump had been respectfully silent as he sang and then equally noisy in their appreciation at the end of each song. Now it seemed the spell was about to be broken as Mr Giles made an all too rare between song comment.
“Thank you, you are very kind,” he cleared his throat softly before continuing, “I have just one more song I would like to play, and in the spirit of this kind of thing I would like to dedicate it to those of you who have found true love.” Clearly somewhat embarrassed at his own comments Mr Giles averted his gaze from the crowd as his fingers began to pick out the melody of the song, a song that Tara instantly recognised as an old favourite of her Mothers. As Mr Giles voice joined the melody of the guitar she understood the comment he had just made, the words taking on new meaning as she gazed at the beautiful girl beside her.
“Some day, when I’m awfully low, When the world is cold I will feel a glow just thinking of you And the way you look tonight.”
Tara found herself really looking at Willow as the song continued, the perfect shape of her mouth, the way her lips slightly parted, the sparkle in those green eyes, the tumble of red curls, all things she had seen before but now she committed them to her memory with the certainty that she would recall this image always, no matter what the future brought. Perhaps her fears for the future had foundation and yet in this moment she realised, even if this were all she had it would be enough to sustain her, better this memory than never to have been with Willow at all.
“Yes you’re lovely, with your smile so warm, And your cheeks so soft, There is nothing for me but to love you, And the way you look tonight.”
Willow had often wanted to be someone else, to be popular and beautiful in High School like Cordy, to be strong and brave like Buffy, so many ambitions realised only in fantasy, now she only wished she could sing. If she had the talent then she could think of no better way than singing to express the feelings she had for Tara, the words of this song could have come from her heart, felt as though they had in fact done just that. The soft crooked smile of her love, the deep soulful blue eyes, the poetry of her face, it really did feel as though there was nothing else Willow could do but love her, the way she looked tonight and every other night. Without conscious thought she slid her hand under the table and, finding Tara’s hand resting at her side, entwined her fingers through those of her love.
“With each word your tenderness grows, Tearing my fear apart, And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, It touches my foolish heart.”
Tara felt Willow’s warm hand touch her slightly cooler skin and then their fingers entwined, needing some form of contact. Feeling her heart swell at the rightness of the moment, Tara felt the sting of tears in her eyes, the emotion she was feeling, the surge of love for Willow, too powerful to be contained. Tara wondered at her own foolishness as the words echoed in her mind, the way that Willow looked at her, touched her, how could she ever doubt the feelings behind each gesture. Right now she felt her own fears drifting away like smoke on the breeze as she recognised that Willow had answered every one of her doubts in every moment that they spent together.
“Lovely. Never, ever change. Keep that breathless charm. Won’t you please arrange it? ‘Cause I love you. Just the way you look tonight.”
Willow looked directly at Tara as the song neared its end, wondering at the magic the words were casting, Giles was no stranger to the world of magic after all. One glance at Tara though and she knew the only magic was the magic between two lovers, the spell cast by two hearts beating as one. The way Tara’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, the gentle pressure as Tara squeezed her hand beneath the table, there was no doubt Tara felt it just as she did. Willow had never felt love so powerful as she did now in this time and place, what she had imagined to be love before was now exposed for the pale imitation it truly was, this was real and she knew it was all she would ever need from this point on.
“Just the way you look tonight.”
………………………………………………………………….
The Scooby meeting had been pretty unexciting but Tara didn’t care as she allowed her thoughts to drift to more important matters, like kitty cats and a room that was Willow friendly. Willow’s eager agreement to her sneaky plan had exceeded her expectations but then she reflected Willow was always managing to do that. It seemed as though she had been walking on air for days now and her angel showed no signs of allowing her to come back down to earth anytime soon. Glancing at Willow again she wondered if she was reading the signs right, there had been a suggestion in Willow’s demeanour that she wanted to say something at the conclusion of the meeting and her insistence on Tara’s attendance might be a clue to what that something was.
Tara steered herself away from that line of thought before she got too far ahead of herself, Willow had asked for time and the way she felt right now she could take all the time she wanted. Tara realised her happiness had nothing to do with what the outside world knew or didn’t know about her love for Willow, all that mattered was that she knew what she had and finally she thought that she did. Her good mood was not even dented by the outbreak of snippy hostility between Mr Giles and Anya; it was just a spat, nothing to worry about.
Lost in her thoughts Tara took a moment to realise that the squabbling had stopped suddenly and a hush had fallen over the room. Finally registering that something was happening she joined the others in looking toward the door where a slight young man stood, a young man whose appearance had left everyone looking as though they had seen a ghost. Confused she looked to Willow for answers and was shocked to see her love visibly upset, tears already forming in those beautiful green eyes.
“Oz.” Willow’s voice was haunted as she finally broke the silence.
“Oz.” Tara heard herself echo as understanding came and then the world seemed to lurch beneath her feet and she felt as though she were falling.
_________________ TARA: Breakfast will make all things better. WILLOW: Ooh, pancakes could go in bellies.
Bargaining
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