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Part ElevenOver the past week, Joyce had found herself becoming increasingly worried about her younger daughter. They hardly ever saw each other anymore. Dawn was hardly ever home. On the rare occasions that she was at home, Dawn stayed away from everyone. Stayed locked in her bedroom until forced to come out.
Joyce was starting to think that maybe Dawn was involved in, well, something bad. Really bad. The Using-Drugs kind of bad. The teenager was always tired now, excessively so, had lost a lot of weight, her face was pale and gaunt, and she had lost her appetite. She also seemed very moody and troubled. In Joyce’s books, that couldn’t be good.
She put down her women’s magazine, which was open to the page ‘What is your child up to right NOW?’, and quickly walked up the stairs. She knocked loudly on Dawn’s door.
“Yeah? What is it?”
Joyce almost jumped. The pre-drugged up Dawn never spoke in such a cold, disinterested way.
“Uhh can I come in, honey?” She didn’t wait for an answer, but stepped into the room and sat beside Dawn. Dawn was lying with her eyes closed, breathing very slowly. Joyce looked uncertainly at her.
“Dawn, honey. D-do you need to tell me anything? Anything at all? Don’t be afraid. I’m not the typical mom, you know. I can cope with whatever you have to say.”
The teenager didn’t respond.
“Dawn! Look at me when I talk to you. This room smells…funny. Putrid. What on earth have you been doing?”
Dawn sat up slowly, stretching her back. “Mom, please. I’m in the middle of something. It’s important. I can’t tell you about it now, but I need you to trust me. It’s a good thing.”
“Oh yeah. I’ll bet it’s good. Real good. Just wait until you’re forty and have no memory or teeth!”
With that abrupt statement she stood up and left the room angrily.
Dawn stared in amazement at her retreating mother. Then she shrugged, slightly amused, and lay back down to continue her meditation.
***
Ira’s body, from the navel down, was smeared in banana-jelly. Eyes closed, he hummed ‘Michelle’ by the Beatles, and breathed in happily. He hadn’t imagined for a second that the retreat would be like this. So private. So relaxing. He licked his lips, enjoying the tasty lemon lip-balm, and moved his shoulders in time to the baritone solo in ‘Michelle’.
He had never imagined this, when Sharon had first told him about the place. He had imagined himself having to sit naked with a bunch of greying American men, discussing George Bush’s economic policies whilst suspiciously eying each others’ genitalia. A naked version of his office building.
Instead, he was treated to a Sanctuary, a small wooden room with a hot tub, sauna, shelves of different creams/ointments/incense, a soft water bed and unlimited organic vegetarian food brought to the door. And a private masseuse at dusk.
He suddenly realised he was being watched. He opened an eyelid cautiously to see an extremely tall man peering at him through round, bright green eyes.
“Erm. Can I help you there?” He sat up and tugged viciously at his wild red hair, wishing it would behave once in a while. Just like his daughter Willow, he found himself constantly fighting with his hair. It was the damn red-head temperament, he figured.
He peered nervously at the tall man. Of course; even a lovely place like this was sure to have the occasional pervert, molester. Ira closed his legs tightly, then opened his other eye.
“My name is Dean. I have come to remove the banana-jelly.”
“Oh, right. Sure. Go ahead,” he offered generously. This man was no molester, just one of the employees. Dean surely wouldn’t have the audacity to comment on his rather petite nether regions.
***
Xander shifted from foot to foot, wishing that his Muhammad Ali costume had a mask, to cover his blushing face. “I didn’t mean for our dance to get so…excited, Ahn! It’s not that I want Tara, or anything.” He hoped his lying skills had improved.
Anya looked at him sternly. “Xander, you were almost ejaculating onto her skirt! Don’t lie to me.” She softened her tone and touched his arm soothingly. “It’s OK, Tara’s an unbelievably sexy girl. I can understand why you got so aroused. And she was pretty hot for you, too.”
She looked around the deck enquiringly. “Hey, where’d she go?”
“Oh she had to go off somewhere.”
Anya winked encouragingly. “Xander. She’s probably really upset that you rejected her. Judging from my personal experience, I would safely bet that she is expressing her sorrow. Oh, crying, that’s the word. Perhaps you could look in the ladies’ bathroom.”
She saw him hesitate. “Come on, go already! I don’t mind. Tell her…tell her that your girlfriend is always up for three-way sex.”
Xander’s head jerked up. “Seriously?”
Anya nodded, but Xander had already left to find Tara.
***
“It’s all right. Cry as much as your want.” Willow ripped a little bit of shiny emerald-green material from her costume, and offered it to the weeping builder.
Dick wiped his nose and sniffled. “I just, well, never have any luck with women. It’s like…whatever I do, they see me as this dumb, insensitive guy.”
“I-I never thought that you were insensitive. Or dumb! Look, you’re all with the crying, which is mighty sensitive, and the clever conversation, may I add. See!” She smiled inanely. “And, plus, you’re a builder! You’re very constructive, and manly, and creative! What’s not to like?”
He glanced around the female toilet for inspiration, and noticed the condom dispenser. This encouraged him to continue on a tangent, “But there’s the sex thing. They look at me, and all they see is a penis."
"Oh, Willow,” he laughed snidely, seeing the red-head look away at the mention of a penis. “Oh my god! Don’t blush, you’re a big girl! You can talk about penises, OK? Look, just admit it. As soon as you saw me, you dismissed me as another drooly, horny guy. Right?”
Willow was determined to be truthful.
“To be really honest with you, Dick, I
didn't give you a second look. Or really a first look, come to think of it. I-I’m in love with a girl. A breathtakingly smart, funny and beautiful girl. Everything I could ever want. And all my thoughts are preoccupied with her, currently. You know, trying to work out how she feels about me.” She paused. “So I really didn't pay much attention to you.”
He flushed with embarrassment and sniffled again. She hurriedly continued, “Look, Dick. Trust me. I was Queen of the Don’t-Believe-in-Love clan, for many a year. I was just like you, all with the snifflies and the 'what am I doing wrong' attitude.
She paused, thinking it over. "But now it’s happened. I’ve found her. Dick, I swear that there’s someone out there for you too! Some girl who doesn’t choose her partner based on how ‘sensitive’ he appears the first time she meets him. Sensitive, for me, describes Kleenex, not people. This girl will be someone that doesn’t judge you on one minute of conversation, or criticise you, or make you feel uncomfortable. They do exist, I promise you. Just keep looking, OK?”
“I don’t need to keep looking. I found exactly what I was looking for.”
Willow and Dick jumped as they heard Tara’s voice.
“Sorry to eavesdrop, guys. I was just lurkin’ around these corners, escaping certain prying eyes, and couldn’t help overhearing the last line.”
Willow gulped, wondering whether to believe the blond. She decided it didn't matter either way; she knew for a fact that she was falling for Tara, and it was time to tell her that.
“Tare!”
Dick stopped crying. A big, complacent grin spread over his face as he realised whom Willow was in love with. It was obvious, suddenly. Incredibly obvious. Hit-yourself-on-the-head obvious. Tara.
As soon as they were together, even near each other, everything seemed right. Everything they did or said was an act done out of love. The way Tara slowly tilted her head, put her hand so lightly upon Willow’s shoulder. Willow’s adoring smile, the pleasure evident in her eyes as she welcomed the blond. Just watching them gave him hope. Made him believe Willow. See that love did exist.
He stood up, a bit shakily, drunk with new confidence. He whispered in Willow’s ear “she wants you bad, girl”, and left. The door slammed and the girls were silent.
Willow turned to the blond with a big smile.
“Hey there, mermaid. Come and sit down a moment, will ‘ya?”
Tara giggled: as she tried to sit down the boat jerked and she nearly tripped. Willow grabbed her, wrapped her arms around her, and pulled her onto her lap.
“Mmm. That’s much more comfy.”
“Will, sweetie?”
Willow’s eyes were closed as she enjoyed Tara’s hair resting on her face, and the blond pressed against her.
“Yes, m’lady?”
“This is nice. Sitting like this, all warm and snug. Together. Don’t you think?” She picked her words carefully, wishing she could see what Willow’s facial expression was.
“Very nice.” Willow breathed in deeply, taking in Tara’s wonderful exotic scent. She frowned slightly, surprised at herself for not noticing before.
“Tara, were you doing magic today? I can smell gaiafoli leaves and patchouli.”
Tara blushed. “Uh, a little. Your button nose ain’t just cute, Will, but very observant too. I’m impressed.”
Willow sat up a little, opening her eyes. “Oh. What sort of spell did you do?” She felt a bit hurt; she really wanted to do a spell with Tara, yet Tara always avoided any mention of magic when she around Willow.
“Just…my mom asked me, the other day, to do a small Insight spell. She didn’t explain why, but was really anxious for me to do it. I’ll ask her about it later.”
“Oh. Um, Tara, can I ask you something? Don’t get mad.”
“I can’t get mad at you, Willow. It’s a practical impossibility for me.” She smiled and waited. “What do you want to know?”
Willow felt her heart race and she spoke as quickly as possible, “it’s just that I want to do a spell with you, more than anything really, and you seem very avoidy. I can’t help thinking that has something to do with me. Coz your mom asked you to do a spell and you did do it, so it’s obviously not the spell you have a problem with. I know she’s sick so you didn’t want to say no, but I really want to do magic with you, and I just don’t understand what’s wrong. Is it a…trust thing? Because I know we haven’t known each other for that long. I-I trust you.”
Tara’s blue eyes darkened as she gazed at the ocean before her. She tried to calm herself. Reassure herself that Willow would trust her, understand her. She knew she couldn’t put off this conversation any longer. She turned around to face the red-head, and looked deeply into her eyes.
“I trust you too. But I have to tell you a story. Before I start, can I beg you also to try not to get mad? I have a feeling you will. And…I couldn’t stand it if we stop being, well, friends.”
“Oh. Sure. I’ve never really gotten mad, except for one time when Buffy tried to strip the …OK getting off topic. But I’ll try my hardest.” She smiled lightly, hoping the blond would trust her.
“I-I had a friend that I used to practise magic with. Her name’s Jess and I met her at school. We started off with really simple things, blocking spells and knowledge spells, stuff that was useful for us in everyday life. To pass maths tests, you know.” She smiled nervously, a lopsided smile. Willow saw the smile, realised how hard this was for Tara. She squeezed her hand.
“By the time we were fifteen, we were way past the easy spells. We wanted to try something really different. So Jess found some books on mind spells. You know, like the Lethe’s Bramble. We started off simple at first, but we quickly got advanced. One day, Jess came to me to ask for a favour. She’d been fighting with her boyfriend, said some really horrible things, and she begged me to help her do the spell on him. Just to make him forget the last few days. Some of the things she’d said to him.”
Willow’s inhaled sharply. She knew exactly what could happen with a powerful spell like the Bramble, she’d read so many horror stories.
“Something went wrong. Really wrong. We wiped way too much of his memory. He had to go to a clinic, babbling like a child. But we couldn’t understand what had gone wrong. We’d done everything right, we were sure.” She looked away from Willow, keeping her eyes trained at the bathroom door.
“After a while Jess started to act really differently. I could tell that her energy, her aura was different. Clouded. She wasn’t the same person. She stopped going to school, and stopped calling me. One day I got a call from her mother. She told me that Jess had severe anorexia.”
Willow stroked her cheek lightly. She knew Tara didn’t want to continue, but her instincts told her that Tara needed to tell the story. Needed to be honest.
“I freaked out, because I knew something must have happened. It wasn’t like Jess, at all. I went over to her house one day but she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. So I t-took the easy option, did a Revealing spell, and went back to her house the next day. While she was talking, pretending everything was normal, these horrible streaks of color started to show up on certain parts on her body. Revealing…well, something. I had no idea what, but I knew it was bad. I found out later than she’d tried to kill herself. She took so many pills…” Tara’s voice broke, as she remembered.
Tara sighed. “It was the Witches’ Council. They’d been following Jess for a while, checking up on her, and were horrified that a fifteen-year-old unregistered witch was so powerful. Powerful enough to pull off the Bramble. They threatened her. Gave her two options: to come up with a punishment for herself, or they’d find a punishment.”
She nodded at Willow’s outrage. “I know, sweetie, they’re awful. They’re infamous for the cruel, merciless tactics they use. So anyway, they insinuated that the ‘punishment’ they would give, if she chose that option, would be to harm her family. Of course, nothing was spelt out. But you can always read between their very obvious lines. So Jess was horrified. She couldn’t think of anything worse, and pleaded with them to let her choose a punishment.”
Tara’s face was wet with tears. “Will, should I stop? I haven’t really told this story, and I guess it doesn’t mean to much to you.”
“Please keep on going, baby.”
Tara bit her lip, then almost smiled when she realised Willow had called her ‘baby’.
“She thought up hundreds of ‘punishments’ for herself, but none seemed right to her. She’d caused all of this pain, brought danger to her family. Something clicked in her. She deserved pain. She tried to kill herself. And when it didn’t work, she tried again and again.”
Willow waited for her to continue. When she didn’t, she touched Tara’s arm, “Tare, I don’t see how any of this is your fault. She begged you to do the spell. What happened after that has nothing to do with you.”
Tara smiled painfully. “Yeah it does. I haven’t told you the rest. You see, the council never found out about my involvement. Thank the goddess. I’d hate to have put my family in danger, too. But the thing is, to be able to cast the spell – and I only found out about this later – you need to be, well, qualified. Jess had taught herself power, superficially, but I had it. Inherent within me. A part of me since I was born. My mom is incredibly powerful, and passed her gift onto me.
“Will, Jess couldn’t have done those magicks if I wasn’t involved. It was made that made the spell possible, and she who was punished.” She was weeping now, very softly. “When I found out about the suicide attempts, she told me the whole story. Then she explained that she wanted me to know that nothing was my fault. That she was much better now, knew exactly what she had to do from then on. That she felt more at peace than ever before, and wanted me to know how happy she was. So I went home, glad she was doing OK. I felt slightly light-hearted, less guilty, and really happy she was doing so well. But she k-killed herself that night.”
“Oh god. Tara…” Willow trailed off, knowing that if she kept her mouth open, she would merely blabber, and not be of any use or comfort. Instead she kissed Tara on the cheek, very softly. She kept one arm tightly wrapped around the blond, and with the other she began to stroke her hair, letting Tara cry on her shoulder.
***
Xander stood breathless, panting near the bathroom door. He stepped into the male toilet, quickly, and interrupted a young, very drunk couple who were lying on the floor kissing. Stepping over them to check his hair, he was horrified to see that his fringe was sticking up in the air. He almost giggled, remembering his favourite film, ‘There’s something about Mary’. He instantly sobered up; no wonder Tara had run away, he thought to himself. Luckily, he had brought his hair gel along to the party, just in case. He smoothed the fringe back down, undid his top shirt button, and licked his lips. ‘Ready, Xander? Yes ready.’
He left the male bathroom feeling tremendously energetic and confident. ‘Ah ha.’ He could smell her. He breathed in deeply, then walked quickly with small steps, like a predator. He wondered if she’d be happy to see him, or play hard to get. He started to feel anxious, then Anya’s words flooded back,
And she was pretty hot for you, too… Feeling slightly better, he approached the female bathroom with a skip in his step.
“Ta-”. Her name was barely on his lips when he realised how bad his timing was. She was wrapped around Willow, sobbing. Willow was whispering inaudible, soothing words in her ear.
Suddenly Willow looked up and noticed him there. She gave him the dirtiest look – and not the kind of dirty he liked – he had ever received from her. He opened his mouth to apologize, and was treated with an even fiercer glare. Even her hair looked redder, more enraged than ever. Her hand was stroking Tara’s shoulder with the most tender, adoring touch. He stared.
Then sadly, with one last look at Tara’s mermaid goodness, he left.
***
“Tara?” Willow whispered. She sounded slightly confused, lost.
“What’s wrong, Will?” Even in her forlorn state she was concerned about the red-head.
“Uhh…” Willow knew it was inappropriate, but suddenly it seemed the perfect moment to speak to Tara about her feelings for her. If Tara felt the same way, she figured, then it would be wonderful for both of them, and would definitely cheer Tara up. And if Tara didn’t return the feelings, and Willow was humiliated and upset, then they’d both be upset! They could comfort each other. Be equally depressed.
Willow nodded to herself. This sort of logic made sense to her. It was quirky, but not insane.
“It’s just…Umm, I don’t know if it’s just me, or…uh, if you’ve noticed, too, but…”
“Noticed what?” Tara thought she knew what Willow was getting at. She hoped she was right.
“Well. With you. And with me. Us. We’re kinda, well… OK I’m not doing a good job here.”
Tara hid a smile. She wiped her eyes so she could look at Willow clearly.
“Well… you know. With all our hugs, and cheek-kissage, and ‘our’ moments, and the dance, I’ve started to see something. Maybe it isn’t there. But I saw it anyhow. That there’s a…definite spark. Major sparkage, in fact.” She blushed. Blushed so strongly that she felt herself blush. This naturally made her blush even more.
Tara, feeling more cheerful than she had in a long time, decided to taunt her. “Sparkage?” She tilted her head slightly, to gaze into Willow’s eyes. Her own blue eyes showed tremendous confusion, which made Willow even more embarrassed, and she began to stutter.
“S-sparkage. U-umm, OK, I’ll give you a d-dictionary definition. It’s a noun, I guess. No, wait, an adjective. Hmm, noun or adjective? Oh, I give up.” She sighed. “Forget the sparkage, OK?” She averted her eyes from Tara’s, and felt humiliated for mentioning it at all. Tara obviously had no idea what she was talking about. Probably, what she had regarded as flirting was just friendliness to normal people.
“There’ll be no forgetting! Particularly of sparkage. Will, I know what sparkage means. And it’s definitely, one-hundred percent, there.” Tara’s smile was beautifully radiant, and Willow’s heart began to beat just a little faster.
“Oh, you do? It is? Well, that’s helpful to know. Extremely helpful, in fact. So as I was saying, there’s this sparkage. You agreed. And, to me it seems like we’re…acting in a way that friends don’t usually act. Like flirting sometimes. Or, to be blunt, rubbing our bodies against each other. And we laugh at these little things that no one else would get. It’s like our brains fit together perfectly. I love spending time with you, Tare. And, to be honest, I make excuses to check you out all the time.” Willow nearly collapsed with pride. She couldn’t believe how brave she was being.
Tara nearly slipped off Willow’s knee with shock.
“You really check me out, Will? W-what are you looking at?”
“The hotness of you, doofus.” Willow grinned shyly.
Tara giggled. Willow was so cute. “Oh, you really think I’m hot? What about right now, with the blotchy, teary skin, and red eyes, and my sniffling?”
“Especially with all that. They’re all bonuses.”
“Oh. Really? Wow.”
“What do you mean, wow?”
“Well I’ve been crushing on you for so long. So it’s kinda unbelievable to hear you call me hot. It’s…”, now it was Tara’s turn to blush, “like a fantasy come true, corny as that sounds.”
“Ooh, there are fantasies? That involve me? And you? Can we act them out?”
“Willow!”
“Sorry.” She blushed as she spoke; she was embarrassed but definitely not sorry.
“No! I meant, Willow you vixen! Of course we can act them out.” Tara felt unbelievably happy at the thought.
Willow smiled triumphantly. Life was good. Super, in fact. “Anyway, going back to my point. Tara, for me… it’s not about flirting any more. Or checking you out. Or crushing. Or even the fantasies. It went way beyond that, quite a while ago. I think it’s, well, sort of, love. I j-just want to be with you.”
Tara lay her head on Willow’s shoulder. She shut her eyes and breathed in, letting the wonderful moment flood her senses. After several minutes, Tara whispered with her eyes tightly closed, “I’ve been falling in love with you, Will, from the day we met.”
-------------------------
Willow: Those darn Salem judges. With their less-satanic-than-thou attitude.
Tara: Oh, honey, let’s change it. The Discovery channel has koala bears.
Intervention
Edited by: vix84 at: 9/21/02 9:18:19 pm
by Imperfectly Me » Sat Sep 07, 2002 11:28 pm 
, you'll be glad to know. 
Great Update....
..sorry...built up bitterness I suppose...just ignore me) Anyhoo....It's a good name, people should use it more often.
I Loved her lil speech to Buffy!! Hilarious!!
And i'm glad they confessed their love 4 one another! That was a happy moment! 
Yep, someone out there loves you! 
can't think of anything... 
...up until the cliffhanger. 
