Okay ... it's late, I'm tired, TX has kindly "taken one for the team" and made sure that W/T didn't grow extra hands, so now I'm posting this and going to sleep. I'll do replies and whatnot tomorrow.
Title: Answering Darkness - Epilogue
Author: Sassette
Feedback: Can be sent to
pink_overalls@yahoo.com Summary: A tasteful shower scene.
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Tabula Rasa" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I'm just borrowing them because Season 6 angst is running high, and I want my happy ending now, dammit! So I'm writing it … but it'll be awhile until I get to that part, so bear with me (or "bare" with me if you're naughty).
Rating: R+
Notes: For the purpose of this story, all events of Tabula Rasa took place exactly as shown in the series; however, no subsequent episodes will affect this piece. We're splitting from canon here, because this seems the fastest way to get a reconciliation and because I feel this is one of the possible outcomes when taking the "addiction" metaphor into account. So, I should shut the heck up now, and just get to the story, right? Right.
Answering Darkness Epilogue
By Sassette
"Hey, baby? Wake up," Tara whispered softly into Willow's ear, making Willow's face scrunch up in irritation as she shifted against Tara's shoulder. "Come on, baby. We have to go inside now," Tara tried again.
"You want me to just carry her?" Buffy offered in a hushed voice so as not to disturb Willow, turning in the front seat to look at Tara. Quietly, Dawn snuck out of the car to go grab her homework and a change of clothes to go to school the next day.
"No, let me try to wake her," Tara said, biting her lip uncertainly. She knew Willow was tired - she knew >she< was tired - and in a way, she didn't have the heart do disturb the rest that Willow so obviously needed. "Sweetheart, there's a nice shower just calling your name," Tara whispered, her tone cajoling. "Up and at 'em."
"Want me to try?" Buffy asked with a smirk, remembering all too well from the days of sharing a dorm room with Willow just how hard it was to wake her up.
"I guess I don't really want to wake her up," Tara said sheepishly. "She looks so peaceful." And she did, Tara considered, looking at Willow's face, snug up against her shoulder, so very relaxed and open in slumber. She looked, Tara decided, like some kind of fairy princess, with her flaming red hair and her charming features.
"Willow Rosenberg, you're late for class!" Buffy said loudly, making Tara flinch at the suddenness of the words and the sheer volume behind them.
But that was nothing compared to Willow's reaction.
She sat up bolt upright, her eyes wide, though her gaze was unfocused from the sudden shift into wakefulness.
"Class? Which one? I didn't do my homework!" she blurted out, looking around for her bookbag and the clothes she usually had laid out and waiting for her in the mornings.
"Shh, baby - you're not late for class," Tara said, pulling Willow into her arms. "That was mean," Tara admonished Buffy, though her eyes shone with amusement. It shouldn't have been funny, but lots of things recently shouldn't have been funny, yet oddly were.
"God, Buffy," Willow said slowly, a hand over her heart where it hammered in her chest. "Take a few years off my life, why doncha'?"
"But it worked," Buffy said with an unrepentant grin. "Now go upstairs, get that mud off, then crawl into bed with your honey and sleep until the pizza and video party disguised as a Scooby Near-Apocalypse Recap Meeting tomorrow night."
"I have class," Willow responded automatically, taking slow deep breaths as her heartbeat calmed.
"I'll skip if you will," Tara said, catching Willow's eyes with her own and regarding her seriously, brushing a bit of her hair back from her face. "You really need the rest, and so do I."
"Let's see how we feel tomorrow?" Willow offered up. Staying home with Tara really sounded … perfect. Still, she felt like she should at least give a token protest about missing still more school. She'd missed an awful lot lately.
"Okay," Tara agreed with a nod. "We can decide tomorrow. Now inside," she said, opening the car door and slipping out, then taking Willow's hand and tugging her to her side.
Dawn emerged from the house, a couple of bags in hand, then hurried over to Willow and Tara's side. "I'm so glad you two are all right," she said softly, dropping the bags and hugging them both fiercely, her eyes brimming with tears.
"We're okay, Dawn," Tara said, rubbing her back soothingly.
"Yeah - and we're going to stay okay, too. Promise," Willow chimed in, hugging Dawn.
Dawn just nodded, a watery smile crossing her face. "See you guys tomorrow," she said, slipping into the car. Willow and Tara waved as their friends said their good-byes and drove off, leaving them alone in the quiet night.
"Do you smell that?" Willow asked, taking a deep breath.
Tara frowned in concentration, likewise breathing in the cool night air. "Umm, no, I don't," she admitted with a shrug.
"Exactly," Willow said with a satisfied nod. "It doesn't smell like Hell."
"Let's get cleaned up," Tara said, smiling at Willow and pressing a soft kiss to her mud-streaked face.
"That sounds so, SO good right now," Willow said, her hand finding Tara's, their fingers twining as they walked up the steps. Between the water and the dirt, she was streaked with mud, and she didn't even want to think about what her hair looked like. But it was all worth it - it was worth it and more.
Tara opened the door, noting sheepishly that it was unlocked. She hadn't spared a moment to think of the panic everyone must have felt when she had just gone off after Willow, without notifying them of her intentions. No, wait - Dawn had just been inside. She might have unlocked it. Tara frowned at the slow way her mind was plodding along, then decided it was probably a good thing, considering what she and Willow had just been through and how badly she >didn't< want to think about it. Still, she'd have to find a way to make it up to the Scoobies later, for scaring them by running off like that. Maybe cooking breakfast for everyone the morning after the pizza and video fest?
"What're you thinking about?" Willow asked, closing the door behind her and locking it, noticing the slight frown on Tara's face. Frowns weren't allowed - at least not right now. They could frown later, but right now, they were both safe and alive and whole and nothing else really mattered compared to that.
"Pancakes," Tara said with a crooked smile, tugging on Willow's hand and leading her up the stairs.
"Pancakes?" Willow asked, her brow furrowing. "Umm … are you hungry? I mean, we could eat, or … y'know, if you wanted to make pancakes, I … we could …"
"No, no," Tara said, shaking her head and laughing lightly, opening the bathroom door and flipping on the switch. "I'm thinking about making breakfast for everyone on Tuesday. I think I kind of freaked them out when I left the house and when I got through the Hellmouth. I was kind of, umm … focused."
"Oh, wow," Willow said, her eyes widening as her mind kicked into overdrive, her regrets overruling her decision to not dwell on things tonight. Tara looked at Willow quizzically as she turned on the water of the shower. "If you owe them breakfast I don't even want to think about what I owe everyone, running off like that. It was … so stupid," she admonished herself, a guilty expression on her face. "I … things could've been … I mean, I didn't tell anyone where I was going, just kind of … took off, like -"
"Willow," Tara interrupted, grasping her arms and waiting until Willow's unfocused gaze met her own and those green eyes she loved so much cleared as Tara fully gained her attention. "We have so much to talk about. Things that need to be said, things that need to be heard. I'm feeling so many … lots of different things, but I just … I want to focus on the good. Forget the bad stuff tonight. You don't get to think about that now. One thing at a time, and the first thing is …"
"The first thing is what?" Willow asked, and Tara's face creased into a smile.
"Your shirt," Tara said.
"What?"
"Take it off."
"Oh, right," Willow said, nodding her head. "I, my, umm … arm," she went on, looking at Spike's shirt wrapped around her forearm, the sharp pain from earlier that night now a dull throb.
"Oh, sweetie," Tara said, immediately zeroing in on the place she knew Willow was injured. "God, I kind of … wasn't thinking -"
"It's okay. Y'know, Hell Gods and all, it was kind of the least of our problems, and it doesn't really hurt, it's just kind of, throbby and a little itchy … definitely some itchiness. Is it supposed to be itchy?" Willow said as Tara carefully untied the arms of Spikes shirt and unwrapped it to check the wound underneath. "How's it, umm … look?" Willow asked, her eyes focused on Tara's face. It was the strangest thing. She knew exactly how beautiful Tara was, but something about this moment - this little piece of time - made the knowledge hit her between the eyes. While a part of her was saying 'duh!', another part was just goggling with wonder that someone so … gorgeous, inside and out, was hers.
"It's, umm … I … I don't understand," Tara said slowly, looking up at Willow, her face the very picture of puzzlement.
"What is it?" Willow asked, feeling Tara's warm fingers stroking the skin of her arm, a look of wonder on her face.
"I … I don't know how, or, umm why, but it's … there are no cuts here. It's …"
"What?" Willow asked, finally looking at her arm and seeing that the gashes in her arm were closed up, but not completely gone, three scabbed over lines marking her skin.
"I … I saw it. I saw the Construct hurt you," she whispered, her tone a mixture of anger and confusion.
"I'm sorry," Willow said miserably, her breath catching. "I, umm… I felt you, there. I should've stayed, or called, but it all - it kind of happened really fast after that."
"No, no," Tara said, shaking her head. "I know it happened fast, and you're safe, and I'm safe, and nothing to think about but your shirt, right?" Gently, she kissed Willow right where the worry lines showed up between her eyes when something was bothering her, keeping her lips there until she felt them fade away into nothing. Slowly she eased back, catching Willow's eyes with her own.
She searched Willow's face, seeing so clearly the wheels turning in her mind. Tara adored that about Willow - the way her brain was moving all the time, but it was a double-edged sword. It was endearing, but she knew that Willow needed some time and distance from this whole situation to be able to put it into perspective. Right now she was just worrying, and she needed to relax.
"Honey, relax," Tara urged.
"I just … I did so many things wrong, I just … I can't," Willow began, her breath hitching. "I should've been better, or smarter, and I just … I -"
"Shh," Tara said softly, cupping Willow's face in her hands, and pressing her lips to Willow's, stopping her words.
"Sorry," Willow said sheepishly when Tara gently pulled back.
"I know," Tara said softly, one hand stroking Willow's matted hair. "But not tonight. No 'what if's', no 'shoulda woulda coulda' … I can't - I can't think about that right now. I need to not think about it," she said plaintively.
"Oh, baby, it's okay," Willow said, her arms wrapping around Tara and pulling her close. "We won't think about it. It'll keep." And it would, Willow decided. There would be plenty of time to think about what had happened, but now wasn't that time. Mostly, what she really needed right then was to just let it go, and focus on the fact that she was with Tara, and they were together, and that everything was okay.
"Good," Tara said with a relieved sigh. "So now let's take off that shirt. And these pants. And those shoes," she said, letting her head rest on Willow's shoulder as Willow lightly rubbed her back. But she didn't move, instead letting the feel of a very warm, very alive Willow with her arms wrapped around her lull her into a sense of peace.
"Spike," Willow mumbled against her neck.
"Huh?"
"Spike's coat … it's gotta go," Willow said. "Naked Tara good. Spike's coat bad."
Tara laughed softly in her ear, her tone light. "What? You don't think black leather is a good look for me?" she asked innocently.
"Everything's a good look for you," Willow assured her. "But, umm … coat, with the reminding of Spike. And Spike? Eww."
"You trying to get me naked?" Tara asked, a light smile playing across her features. "Ms. Rosenberg - I'm shocked."
"If you find that shocking, you'll be absolutely scandalized by what I'm gonna' do with you later," Willow said with a smirk, stepping closer to Tara.
"Yeah? Whatcha' gonna' do? Is it naughty?" Tara asked, lifting her hands to the hem of Willow's shirt, grasping the fabric and lifting. Willow helpfully raised her arms, sighing as the shirt was removed, and letting her arms drop back down and rest on Tara's shoulders, hugging her around the neck.
"Oh, yes. Very naughty," Willow said with mock seriousness. "I'm going to take you to bed and have my way with you until neither one of us can move."
"But first, I get to wash you all over, paying special attention to my favorite places," Tara said, cocking her head to one side as she considered her options, her hands drifting back to Willow's waist and working the button of her jeans out of the hole.
"Now who's all with the shocking?" Willow asked, dropping her arms and kicking off her shoes and socks as Tara toyed with the newly freed button.
"Mmm… Good point," Tara said, stepping back to unfasten the coat and slip it off. Gingerly, she reached past the shower curtain and tested the running water, then adjusted the temperature, ignoring Willow's appreciative gaze.
"Hubba hubba - hot mama," Willow said, a broad grin crossing her face.
"You need more help with this?" Tara asked, leaning in to whisper the words into Willow's ear as she slowly lowered the zipper of Willow's partially opened pants. The room was starting to steam up from the hot water of the shower, and the thick heavy air surrounded Tara, seeming to press against her skin.
"Yes, please," Willow managed to squeak out, nodding vigorously. Tara smiled, sliding her hands down Willow's hips, working her fingers under her panties and pushing the clothing to the floor. Her hands slid back up, following the curves of Willow's body around back to the clasp of her bra, deftly undoing the hooks and pulling the material off her lover.
With a soft sigh, she wrapped her arms around Willow's shoulders and pulled Willow to her, feeling her bare skin brushing against her own. Between the hot steamy air and the sensation of Willow's body pressed up against her own, Tara felt a little light-headed. For just a moment, she closed her eyes, savoring the sensations coursing through her and letting her heart revel in the sweet sure knowledge that this amazing woman was all hers, and they were safe, and they were together.
Willow's arms came up reflexively, holding on to Tara when Tara pulled her close. Skin on skin was good, she decided, a dreamy smile curving her lips. She felt Tara tremble lightly in her arms, and she tightened her hold.
"Baby?" Willow asked softly. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I just …" Tara began, burying her face in Willow's neck and breathing in the scent of her. "I love you so much," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I was so scared I'd lost you."
"Hey, hey," Willow said, turning her head so her words made their way directly into Tara's ear and straight to her heart. "You're not gonna' lose me," she said fiercely. "If Gods and Hell can't tear us apart, nothing can, baby. I swear it. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere. We belong together, and nothing can change that - nothing can touch it."
"We're going to run out of hot water," Tara said, a slight laugh shaking her frame as she mentally stepped back from what she was feeling and remembered her earlier words to Willow. There would be no more talk of bad things - now was a time to just be with Willow, and to know that for now, at least, everything was perfect because they were together.
"And cold showers? Not on my list of things to do tonight," Willow said, easing out of Tara's arms and taking her hand, stepping into the shower and pulling Tara with her. They both moaned their appreciation when hot water coursed over their skin, the spray soothing their tired muscles. Willow's arms snaked their way around Tara's waist, holding her slick body close and maneuvering them fully under the water, letting it course over their heads.
Tara smiled softly against the water streaming down her face, then stepped back, reaching for the shampoo Willow used. "Let's get you cleaned up and into bed, sweetie," she said, moving behind Willow, taking in a sharp breath of air when her breasts brushed against Willow's back. Gently, she tiled Willow's head towards her, then began to work the shampoo into the red hair.
"Where I get to do scandalous things to you," Willow said dreamily, relaxing at the feel of Tara's fingers moving against her scalp. They didn't often find the time to shower together, but there was just something so very soothing - so very intimate - about washing each other that Willow adored.
The sound of the water pounding against the tile around them was the only sound as soapy hands traveled tenderly across slick skin. Slowly and methodically, they washed each other, the water carrying away the reminders of their Hell, leaving them with touches that were both reassuring and arousing.
"I won't really hold you to that. The, uh, scandalous things, I mean," Tara said seriously after they had cleaned each other thoroughly, catching some water in her hands and pouring it over Willow's hair, the suds of a second run with the shampoo sliding down her neck and around her shoulders. She repeated the action a few times while Willow kept her eyes shut tight against the soapy water trickling down her face. "If you're too tired, or -"
"Oh, no, I'm not too tired," Willow said, an ill-timed yawn taking her by surprise. Tara just smiled gently, working some conditioner into Willow's hair.
"Baby, it's okay if you're too tired," she said softly, her fingers happily playing in Willow's hair.
"But I'm really not," Willow protested. "I mean, I >am< tired, but not, y'know, too tired, for, umm…"
"Doing scandalous things to me until neither one of us can move?" Tara asked lightly, rinsing out the conditioner.
"I just … I know I should be all with the sleep, but I …" Willow began, moving into Tara's arms and holding her close as she tried to find words for what she was feeling. "After all this stuff, I just … I need to feel you. Tonight."
"Shh," Tara soothed. "I know," she confessed, reaching around Willow to shut off the water before wrapping her arms around the trembling body against her. "I feel like, this isn't real. Like we didn't really face those things, and then make it out of there. And I - I need something real to hold onto."
"And we're real," Willow said, her arms tightening around Tara's body her breath hitching as she held Tara as close as she possibly could. "And I need that - I need something that's real and true. I need to love you tonight," Willow said on a whisper. Her lips found Tara's and pressed against them, the solid warmth of the body in her arms and the tingle coursing through her at the sweet contact starting to thaw an icy core of fear deep within her that she hadn't even known was there.
"I'm here," Tara pulled back to say before capturing Willow's lips again, her hands sliding up Willow's body to cup her face, her body arching into the redhead as those arms clung to her, Willow's hands pressing into her back. "It's real," she said again, breaking the kiss just long enough to say the words, her left hand trailing down Willow's arm and tugging it until she held Willow's hand in hers.
Slowly, she slid Willow's hand up her side, bringing it in front of her body to rest over her heart. With twin gasps as the need for air asserted itself, the kiss broke off, the wild beating of their heart sounding unnaturally loud in their ears. "Feel that?" Tara said shakily into Willow's ear, squeezing her hand. Willow nodded, the hastened rhythm under her fingertips proving Tara's words with each beat. "It beats for you - that's the truest thing in the world," Tara whispered hoarsely before guiding Willow's mouth back to her own.
It was a matter of moments before Tara found she was no longer in control of the kiss, Willow's mouth devouring her own. Somewhere in the corner of her mind, she was aware of the feel of cool tile against her back, but nothing registered fully but the feel of Willow's body pressing into her and their tongues brushing together over and over, sending a warm glow racing through her body, igniting between her legs and leaving her breathless and dizzy.
"God, Willow," Tara moaned out against hungry lips, arching into the touch of Willow's hands sliding over her waist, the solid feel of them firm and sure as they traveled up to cup her breasts. "Baby?" she ground out, pulling her mouth from Willow's, only to be distracted from whatever she was going to say by the way Willow's lips immediately found her neck, brushing over the sensitive skin there, little nips and licks showing up intermittently.
"Yeah, baby?" Willow asked, her breathing ragged as she paused in her attentions long enough to focus in on whatever Tara was going to say to her. She had almost missed that Tara had said anything at all, the feel of soft skin under her hands and lips demanding all of her focus and all of her attention.
"Umm, I," Tara said, blinking a few times to clear her head. "Umm … shower stall. Wet floor," she finally managed.
"Oh, yeah - bruises hard to explain to Dawn," Willow said through her panting, nodding her head in understanding of Tara's request as she remembered a very specific and very embarrassing incident from the past summer. She stepped out of the shower, though her body practically screamed at her to stay pressed up against Tara.
As if hearing that call, Tara stepped out immediately after, pushing Willow back against the sink and kissing her deeply. With a little whimper, Willow's hands came up, holding onto Tara's shoulders to keep herself upright as she found herself arched slightly backward and off-balance, the thoroughly enjoyable way Tara's tongue was exploring her mouth doing nothing for her equilibrium.
"Sweetie, Willow," Tara ground out, her tongue flicking out to taste Willow's lips between words. "I … God, I need …"
"Bed," Willow groaned. "Must get to bed."
"Right," Tara said on a ragged breath, moaning softly as Willow's lips found hers again, and they staggered towards the door, locked tightly together as Willow's hand found the doorknob. With a twist and a pull, the door swung open, the cool fresh air making them shiver and press more tightly together.
Wordlessly, soft lips pressing together again and again, they stepped into the hall, their still-damp bodies barely remaining upright as they tried to walk and devour each other at the same time, their need to be closer - as close as possible - raging through them.
"No bed," Willow decided out loud, pushing Tara gently against the wall, her thigh sliding between Tara's and pressing firmly up against her, earning a gasp from her lover, Willow's mind spinning at both the sound and the incredible feel of Tara's silky wetness against her leg. "Here. Now," she panted, gulping audibly.
Tara groaned loudly at the contact, her hands gripping Willow's shoulders as her head fell back against the wall with a dull thud and her body arched, pressing her aching center hard onto Willow's thigh. Sure hands found her breasts, teasing her nipples as she rocked her hips, grinding against Willow, a steady throbbing pressure building up deep within her.
"Tara, oh, God, Tara," Willow moaned against Tara's neck before finding her pulse point with her lips and sucking on the smooth tasty skin there, one hand leaving the soft fullness of Tara's breasts to grip Tara's hip, her own hips moving against Tara in an increasing rhythm.
"W-willow," Tara whimpered, one hand moving to her neck, her fingernails scratching lightly at the skin their as her hand moved up to tangle in her hair as she pressed harder against Willow's thigh. She bent the leg Willow was straddling slightly, her other hand moving to the small of Willow's back, urging her closer as Willow continued sucking on her neck, the pressure exquisite, and the hot hungry feel of Willow's mouth pulling another groan from deep within her.
Willow scraped her teeth across Tara's neck, whimpering slightly when she felt Tara's leg brush against her own center. She arched her hips towards it, feeling both torture and relief as her throbbing body found the contact it craved, her wetness sliding easily against Tara's skin.
"Oh, Willow - baby - faster," Tara urged, gasping out the words and drawing in shaky breaths, her hips pumping against Willow's in an ever-increasing rhythm. She could feel Willow panting against her neck, the hand against her hip gripping it convulsively, and the hand on her breast moving down her waist, slipping around her body to her ass.
"Oh, yes," Willow hissed out between clenched teeth, nuzzling her way from Tara's neck to her jawline, nipping at it lightly as she rocked against her lover, their wetness pressed firmly against each other's thighs as they rode each other hard in the middle of the hallway. "Baby, I - … God, I …" Willow said between pants, giving up on words and taking Tara's mouth in a kiss.
Tara felt the hand on her hip move, sliding over the top of her thigh to the junction of her legs, slipping between their bodies. There was no teasing caresses, no deft strokes, just Willow's fingers sliding through her wetness, and then into her, filling her body, and it was just what she wanted. This was what she needed - the feel of Willow inside her, stroking her in the most intimate of ways, pumping in and out of her body in a steady rhythm.
She gasped against Willow's mouth, their tongues tangling together, the hot wetness of Willow against her thigh calling to her. As much as she needed to feel Willow deep inside her, she needed to be deep inside of Willow. Her hand blazed a trail across Willow's body, finding the source of that slick heat, her fingers sliding inside with no hesitation, taking Willow fully.
"Yes - just like that," Willow managed to choke out, before words were lost to her, the feel of Tara so firmly inside of her, moving with her, and the way Tara's body felt against her fingers stopped her mind in its tracks, until there were no thoughts, no words, just this amazing feeling of loving and being loved, of taking and giving, as their bodies ground together, faster and faster.
Tara's breath hitched in a squeaky gasp, once, then twice, her hips and her fingers moving against Willow, that sweet torturous wonderful pressure inside her body breaking into a million pieces, shattering every which way across her nervous system, wave after wave of orgasm rolling over her and pooling back together, pouring itself out over Willow's hand.
Willow felt the tightening in Tara's body, and then the convulsive spasms of her release, and she felt herself follow where Tara lead, coming hard against Tara's fingers, the breath leaving her body as she gasped Tara's name, a light-headed dizziness and mind-numbing pleasure swept over her.
They were still for a few long moments as they recovered their breath and their strength, shifting against each other slightly, the feel of their bare skin pressed together soothing them and calling them back to themselves. Gently, they eased out of each other, standing together on shaky legs, soft touches and kisses and wordless murmurs exchanged as they recovered.
"Bed?" Tara asked after the tingles had subsided somewhat.
"Oh, yeah," Willow nodded against Tara's shoulder. With one last light but lingering kiss, they walked hand in hand to their room, climbing into the bed they shared and firmly shutting the door to the outside world behind them.
______________________________________
I Think The Hellmouth Tastes Like Chicken -- Autumn
at: 5/17/02 9:21:10 pm
I'm sure you won't disappointment me. 
I'm anxiously awaiting the update; squirming in my seat.