She's a candle! Candles are like bongs apparently. It's addictive to keep questioning this.There's always a worry when you can smell something before its unwrapped.
Is it port and cheese or has someone scratched themselves?
Super strong potpourri or has a perfume bottle leaked?
An actual gift or has your teenager decided to wrap all those dirty plates you've been asking for?
The mystery that decorated paper can create.
There's a popular gift this time of year. Deemed as nice, gender neutral and is positively thoughtless in purchasing. A gift you can give anyone and they will say thankyou because it's Christmas. It's not a smelly set to say you stink but it is a gift to say your surrounding smells linger. Yes a scented candle. Why scratch and sniff when you can add the danger of naked flame and hot wax.
While not advertised with the same intensity of perfume adverts, their names and descriptors still run akin to the perfume market because smell means money.
Often times you'll see a model strutting around spouting out faux deep empowering statements, then squirting on the £50 per 75ml liquid.
Candles don't get that kind of interaction. You don't see a model rub a scented candle on their neck then look to the camera and say in a husky tone, "wax on. Wax off." The music blasts as she rides off towards sunrise on a horse.
Instead we get Gwyneth Paltrow squirting on a candle. And that's just not the cohesion customers are looking for in the smell market.
In the name of capitalism I've taken it upon myself to create my own scented candle lines. Presenting to you, the Willow Candle Collection.
Which brings us to to this week's poll -
"Which Willow Candle Collection candle would you purchase?"
Lethes Labour – When did we get a candle?
Rebellion – Wafts of banana at unplanned times.
Wing Woman – The smell of cheese to please
Caffeinated Conversation – Mocha smell
Tummy Tumbles – Smells of boozy eggnog.
Stomach Storage – Maple syrup pancakes freshly baked into scented wax.
Mommy Moo – Don’t know the whiff of Daddy issues but Mommy ones smell like gingerbread.
Sincerely Sorry – That’s a heap of bullshit up the nostrils.
Poster Promise – Chocolate scented not balls.
Offended Offence – A stench of metal right to the face, to the point it hurts.
Naughty Nights – Starts off strawberry then turns into freshly showered shame.
Train-wreak Taunts – Microwaved popcorn, the perfect accompaniment when watching everyone around head towards you at rock bottom.
Other – Expand the collection
All The Above - Money then money money money.
Rebellion, I want to discover when its not okay to get a random whiff of banana.
I'll only get it if I had a voucher and an obligation to get someone I'm not fond of a gift.
Lethe Labour seems like it could be used for mafia hits, imagine smelling something then instantly forgeting theres a candle. Thats one way to cause arson.
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One Shots -
Basement Grotto -
Door 25 -
"You're My Always" -
"Do You Like Cats?"You don't have to write to contribute to the board, feedback can be its own event - Dubs Festive Advent Challenge -
Fic Club -
Pens Write A Holiday StoryExisting at some point, maybe - The Justice for Tara series.
*Rides in on a tricycle* Wanna play a game? -
Five Minutes of Artistic Integrity -
Those Three Little Words -
Sassy Synonyms -
Aradia's Antonyms