When is a coffee no longer a coffee?

Some might say when it evolves into covfefe but no one knows what that really is, it’s too bigly a word.

When entering a certain high street coffee chain’s employment, you receive an earring that would make Pat Butcher’s heart flutter (spoiler, she’s dead!). It can also be a coffee lover’s favourite keyring but mainly it’s meant to be flash cards that can be attached to your belt loop.

These cards contain the ingredients and method to make any pointlessly complex name for coffees which contain a lot of letters but no coffee. When you know how to hear peoples garbled pronunciations of the coffee you can start on making the actual coffee, which contains very little coffee but a shed load of cream and sugar. The liquid equivalent of a pork sausage. Seems coffee is like a spirit but for some reason people enjoy the mixers more.

Perhaps it’s a status thing because nothing says grown up maturity like heart palpitations and involuntary eye twitches.

But then there’s a whole thing of coffee not being about coffee but instead it’s an event of going for coffee. For some this means sitting and talking, for others it means showing up asking about hating men and stealing someone else’s coffee. Yup we’re talking about Entropy.

Which brings us to this week’s poll –

Does Willow get another coffee?

Yes – Any excuse to make coffee last longer.
No – All that talk about lady lovin’ and eye talking with Tara. She required a camomile tea to calm her nerves.
Why Another? – Willow chased Anya down, forcefully got her cup back because she tied actual coffee to the event of coffee and she didn’t want the event to end.

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Yes, that cup was empty, she was probably nursing it for a while and now she has an excuse to keep this thing going, hopefully. Naturally if she has another, Tara should have another and maybe that leads to a bathroom break where a pastry shows up on Tara’s return. Can’t walk with a flaky pastry, might as well sit and talk a bit longer. Lots of flakes to wash down, another drink perhaps? Might as well wait a bit because don’t want to be caught short walking home and suddenly needing the loo again.

Coffee is the first commitment in a relationship, in time it’s replaced by children which requires more coffee. Which reminds people of their original spark through the exhaustion haze they mistake caffeine fuelled heart palpitations for love. That’s right, coffee is a trap created by hallmark and probably the government. Coffee conspiracies are real! Willow knows this. Dawn introduced it to her.

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