The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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Who would survive the longest if they were a character in a slasher style horror film?
Poll ended at Fri Nov 04, 2022 1:06 am
Tara 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
Willow 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 2
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 Post subject: Horror Hierarchy
PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2022 1:06 am 
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7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2021 2:34 am
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We all know the story, a lone, youthful, attractive woman, home alone until she realises she isn't home alone. somehow always lacking in clothing despite all the curtains being open and the lights blaring as they run through rooms full of floor to ceiling windows. Not one person in the neighbourhood hears the screams and every logical thought is out the window, unlike the chair that should be thrown through them so the girl can flee to a safe, conveniently nearby located police station. You know, after falling over a hundred times because for some reason knees don't work on horror films (must be a knee union thing). We relax thinking she is safe but then out of the shadows there's a flash of a blade and its bye bye Barbie. Cue titles in splattered blood lettering.

Then you have to sit through the whole film with even dumber behaviour but plenty of sex scenes because the studio has got the R rating so might as well push it all the way. No need for protection because they'll be dead within 5 minutes of completion. An hour of build up for people who you have seen every inch of their body but yet don't know their names, hobbies other than drinking, recreational drugs and exploring each others bodies, or personalities, oh wait i think that is their whole personality. All of them dispatched within the last 20 minutes of the film. Only for the 'unconventionally attractive' (whatever that means) girl to somehow over power a serial killer who has just brushed aside at least 4 muscle clad gym body youths, without breaking a sweat. maybe if he had a product placement nutritional supplement bar before the confrontation he might have taken her.

And she lives happily ever after, until the sequel.

For sake of argument we will say Willow and Tara are in a classic slasher style horror, no supernatural undead killers resurrected through a lightning strike just as their body has been dug up.( Friday the 13th sequels and remakes are crap) More akin to ghost face from scream type killer. They aren't the killer so inevitably they will die. but who will survive the longest?

The question this week - Who would survive the longest if they were a character in a slasher style horror film?

Tara - Sensible, level headed, rational, would she lose all inhibitions and run straight into the killers grasp due to being distracted by her tragic, trauma inducing backstory.
Willow - Smart, maybe too smart and needs to be dispatched of quickly as to not alert the others. She also has a habit of finding the dead bodies, that never ends well.



Without a doubt, Tara and that's not a compliment.

Willow has qualities that would fare well in investigating and coming close to knowing who the killer is in a horror, the killer would want her dead before she spoils their fun. Willow would be the first person killed in the starting scene, leaving clues for her friends to work out who it is or she would be the one who pieced together all the clues of the first murder and then get stabbed just as she is reaching for the phone to tell somebody. Her death would get screen time and be ceremonial. It would take place before the 20 minutes of action.

Tara on the other hand would be fodder. Her death and screen time would be insignificant. she would be in the first half of the last twenty minutes when the killer is on a murder spree in a crowded area. it would be quick and not thought about at all by anyone. she would be the character in the first hour who has drawn the short straw to try and find phone signal or go on a beer run etc, then return to the house just as the 20 minutes of action starts.
If her death is acknowledged at all it would be by the 'unconventionally attractive' girl exclaiming "Oh my god, Tara is dead!" then cut off by a scream as she has to clamber over the corpse (which she fell on during a knee strike) to run away from the killer as they unsheathe their blade out of their latest victim who they toss away like a ragdoll, possibly now starting a pile with Tara's body as the base.

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