The Kitten, the Witches and the Bad Wardrobe - Willow & Tara Forever

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Which love language does Tara find more meaningful to receive?
Poll ended at Fri Oct 07, 2022 9:03 am
Words of Affirmation 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
Physical Touch 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
Receiving Gifts 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Quality Time 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Acts of Service 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 2
Author Message
 Post subject: Affection Accent
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2022 9:03 am 
7. Teeny Tinkerbell Light

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2021 2:34 am
Posts: 635
Topics: 69
Uh huh, Affection Accent. I've got two more of these made up so its not Love Language 1, 2, 3, 4. You predict right, they do get worse.

Last week we asked about Willow and by method of elimination we have Tara this week. Don't worry Willow will back next week, I haven't locked her in a boot of a car that has its hand break off.

Which love language does Tara find more meaningful to receive?

Words of Affirmation - I love yous, compliments, encouragement, words of appreciation.
Physical Touch - Kissing, holding hands, cuddling, sex.
Receiving Gifts - Visual symbols of love, recognising and valuing the gift giving process
Quality Time - Meaningful conversations, recreational activities, active listening, eye contact
Acts of Service - Actions speak louder than words, acts done for them that makes their lives easier.

As I said last week I find every option to be the most meaningful at certain points and it really depends on the context and situation and who is giving the affection accent (is it catching on? I'm competing with fetch). There's many variables. So I'm picking one out of my own curiosities that I know has been touched on in Pens with some stories, indicated but not explored in many but in general conversations its mainly a blanket statement and moved on from.

Physical Touch.

Before I start on something I assume will end up rather lengthy, I want to make clear, I'm not trained in this area, I may say something that is really wrong that I am unaware of being wrong (always feel free to reply or message me with corrections so I don't repeat it again.)

Warning, upsetting discussion content of abuse

"I swear by God I will beat you down"
Tara was hit by her family.
Its assumed in fanon that it was her entire life or from a very young age.
I question, how can someone who has known nothing but physical pain as punishment from someone they love, who society says loves you unconditionally, Know the right way to receive/show affection?

We don't see much of Tara touching people (I think this is a tendency directors get into to allow easy reshoots without needing all the actors). Or could be because we mainly only see her interact with Willow, there are many reasons why it could be. In this case, I'm going with her not really knowing how to express herself through physical touch in a loving way.
If all she has known from supposed loved ones is blunt force trauma, Its going to effect how she thinks interactions work.

She says early on she isn't one for the violence, then proves why she will never be on my charades team (that and a restraining order). Possibly she isn't bad at mime work, perhaps she purposefully restricts herself from doing the same action taken out her her, even if it is just on air.

In family, we get the physicality subtext early on. Tara doesn't take her eyes off Donny and her father. Her shoulders raise and her arms cross. Blinking becomes rather erratic. Before the confrontation scene, it is always Donny or Mr Maclay who move closer to her. The rigid hug with her father is clearly just a show she has been trained to do and physical touch she has to participate in.
The moment Mr Maclay enters a room with Tara in he becomes the centre of it. She knows without doubt she has to comply to his desires.
Its all drilled into Tara of how to act.

Later on Tara grabs Cousin Beth twice. She is capable of forceful physical action. the sound effect is quite the slap of palm vs cardigan.
In Hush, her support of injured Willow, she takes hold sharpish as an instinct. She shcould have fled by herself.
Both in self defence when its fight or flight mind you but still humans tend to fall on basic instincts that have been installed to us for years.

We do see in series four her show physical touch to Willow be them small to show a burgeoning romance. Again for many reasons it is restraint however what if it is Tara learning/discovering how to show physical affection the right way.

Her shyness and stutter not just a loss of confidence in herself mentally, but physically too, withdrawing physically not just as a flinch to others but as a way to hold back repeating the actions done on her as she doesn't trust herself.

One of her most momentous moments in her life of finding out she wasn't a demon, was getting punched in the nose. a negative meaning a positive? It makes sense due to Spikes chip but at the same time when she's just been threatened by someone else, interesting story decision when confronting an abusive family.

Fanon or canon, we see it heavily implied if not explicitly with Donny, that Tara was beaten and that (possibly) reinforced her belief that she was a demon. Her every fibre of being, believed she was a demon. Something she sees on a weekly basis being violent.
She knows how the Maclays treat her is wrong.
Other than it not feeling evil, there is nothing to suggest otherwise, she didn't believe, that she too would be the same.
So how does she know how to physically show affection? by being shown it.

From the punch in the nose moment onwards, we see her hug Buffy in Triangle, Dawn in The Body, Giles in the bargaining. Stroking of Buffys hair while she cries on her lap in Dead Things. People of family love. Showing physically, compassion, comfort and trust.

For me having to pick out on thing, I think experiencing/receiving physical touch has a more meaningful effect for Tara, Not as a love language to the other person but a love and trust in herself too.

For those who had no interest in reading all those uneducated assumptions, the short version,
Sometimes getting punched in the nose is meaningful.
Physical touch (I'm competing saying physical touch with my daily steps now.)

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