I'd like to take on the machine pumping out such a nonsense holiday but they seem big and scary, so let's go for a dead guy instead. Not just any dead guy, the dead guy who apparently started it all.
What do lovers, epileptics and bees have in common, apart from getting weird when trapped in a room with only strobe lighting? They all have the same patron saint, Saint Valentine.
After a brief google and skim read of the Wikipedia page, I have gathered that this guy loved love. He died for his love of God, He married people when he wasn't allowed to and apparently gave out parchment shaped like hearts and signed off letters with 'From your Valentine'. As you see, I'm an expert now and this guy started the crap card giving tradition, so it's go time.
His reasons aren't all commercial based though. at the time Claudius Gothicus (Sounds like a cool name but then you realise his name is Claude) was persecuting Christians. Claude was having trouble keeping it up, his army numbers. He wanted men to be single Pringles because he believed they fought better but Valentine wanted a tube of Pringles and so went ahead and married a bunch of people in Christian ceremonies meaning they gained the benefit of marriage at the time, of avoiding conscription. None of the Valentine cards I've seen mention this.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Join the army, you'll be dead
To dodge the draft, I'll marry you.
Violets are blue
Join the army, you'll be dead
To dodge the draft, I'll marry you.
To become a saint you have to do more than piss historical figures off and love God, you have to perform miracles. Valentine was caught God loving and taken under house arrest by a judge. The judge had an adopted blind daughter. Valentine paced his hand over the child's eyes and prayed to God. He removed his hand and low and behold, the child could see! I'm not saying the hand would have impaired her vision but I imagine anyone would see better without a hand over their eyes, even if blind.
This resulted in the judge fasting for three days and breaking up his house and getting baptised because who doesn't like betting with life changing consequences. The judge might have gone cuckoo without cocoa puffs as he then released all his other prisoners under house arrest. Dude had a priest hoarding issue. Another miracle, he cured the blind and a hoarder.
This brings us to the poll this week;
Could Willow and Tara restore a blind persons vision?
Yes - They could conjure a laser eye surgery machine, get the qualifications and restore vision.
No - Magic and medical don't mix.
Other - Have they tried removing their hands from the persons face?
No, they aren't eye doctors and while healing magic would be cool, I feel if it existed in the Buffyverse we would have seen it with Tara.