Noun - An act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to a deity.
Okay I'm on board. Krampus we will have this old guy's head on a platter by Christmas morn!
Verb - Give up (something valued) for the sake of other considerations.
That makes it sound less blood, guts and ridding the world of a full bellied, rosy cheeked, chuckling old timer with a penchant for creating children's smiles.
To set the scene, every year when it gets dark outside, the family gathers and places food and beverages out for some magical being. Sometimes it is done by the dying flickering's of the advent candle. The last morsels the family may have that haven't gone into the feast for the next day. Almost like scraping off offerings to the gods.
Some say it is to welcome a guest, others say it's a thankyou. Personally I think if you are expecting a guest you shouldn't go to bed for them to enter your house, unless you really don't like the guest in which case, lock the doors and if you hear a disturbance in the chimney get on to the police immediately. It's not a guest, it's a home invader and you haven't home aloned your place.
Firelight, offerings to a deity and often unwanted. Sounds rather sacrificial.
There are many types of Santa, some worst than others (Speedo Santa) but here at the KB we have a Santa in plain sight. We have the Tiny Jewish Santa.
The poll this week -
What should the KB leave on Christmas Eve for Tiny Jewish Santa to receive?
Milk and cookies - American classic
Eggnog - Who doesn't want a a glass of dairy and egg product that has been left out on the side all night that results in Tara tummy rubs.
Mince pie and a glass of sherry - English classic, clearly don't care about drink driving.
Carrots - For the reindeer, there's a new theme of adding magic sparkles (glitter) to help with flight, kids are on a reindeer genocide mission.
Homework - She'll love it and saves you from doing it.
Mocha - She's only tiny and needs to stay up all night, why have Rudolph's nose to light her way when she can have caffeine see her through.
Banana - WOO CHRISTMAS REBELLION!
Password protected diary - Some fun hacking to do between deliveries. Its not like she doesn't violate peoples personal thoughts and memories.
Barbie - She leaves poorly thought out gifts (why give a weighted hat to someone who has just had brain surgery?) Why not give back with a gift of a childhood toy Xander stole from her.
Life sized Tara cut out - It wont be left out, more prised out of your slumbering vice grip.
Smut filled fanfiction - Just a little thing to show you're thinking of her. I'm sure she has 364 days of the year when she is free to leave a review.
Nothing - This isn't a hostage situation, she watches and judges us all year and gifts accordingly, You get nothing from us.
Other - There's a lot that can be offered.
Tiny Jewish Santa and the KB cannot override my ingrained distrust and unease for Santa.
I so much want to go with physical pain and a breaking and entering charge but I'll relent and go with my traditional (always told to, almost like Santa orders in) go to of mince pie and a glass of sherry, however there is a big bite taken out of the mince pie and only a drop of sherry in the glass. It creates a real tension and atmosphere on Christmas morning, almost like someone else has the mince pie and sherry every year instead of Santa. Hmmm. Strange.
