This interview is the sole copyright of The Kitten, The Witches and The Bad Wardrobe posting board. Please do not copy or use without permission. Thanks! And huge thanks to Amber (of course) and Alice, her p.a. without whom this interview would never have happened.

Nocturnal, June 15 – 17 2001. Buffy Convention.

Amber is tired. She’s very tired. Autographs, talks, photographs, dancing the night away…it’s all adding up. And she’s not talking to people. At least, not people from the press. No interviews; no time. She’s so busy, poor girl, that we’re wondering when she gets time to sleep.

Now we know she loves the kitties. She mentions the board at every opportunity. So much, in fact, that the Nocturnal kitty attendees were beginning to have stalkers of their own. And everyone knew about The Kitten Board and how it adored Amber’s ass. Yep, us Nocturnal kitties were pretty much well known.

We’d seen Amber at her talk (laughing our own butts off, I might add) and some time afterwards as well. But you know us kitties, persistent fools that we are…we decided to take the bull by the horns (odd phrasing there) and see if we couldn’t get some kind of message from Amber to us all. Puff took up the challenge and approached Amber on the Saturday night party, where drink and courage was flowing freely. Could the kitties ask a few questions? Would Amber spare us five minutes?

The answer was an overwhelming yes. Anything, Amber assured Puff. Anything for the kitties.

Wow.

So what follows is a transcript of the interview Ruth, Puff, Halycon and Garfield conducted with Amber on Sunday, 17th June. The questions are very kitten-centric and may not make sense to most people. Funny though, to us and Amber, it all became very clear. We spoke to Amber whilst she was eating lunch. Even on her break she’s got time for the kitties. What a fool she is…heh heh…



Puff: Thank you for doing this.

Amber: You’re so welcome. Anytime. (gestures to her companions) They’re just eating. They’re hungry.

Puff: On the kitty board we have posting levels. Which level from these three would you choose as your favourite. Big Pineapple; Willowhand or Gay Now.

Ruth: We all have our own favourites, naturally.

Amber: Pineapple, Big Pineapple.

Ruth: The Kitten Board incorporates the Bad Wardrobe. What have been your least favourite outfits that Tara and Willow have worn?

Amber: Hmm.

Puff: We like it that they clash.

Ruth: We’d be surprised if they wore matching clothes.

Amber: Try to think, let’s see the worst thing that…well, Alyson had these horrible leather pants that like…

Puff and I look at each other and laugh. Alyson. Leather. Horrible? Perish the thought.

Amber: These things, like, they didn’t have any lining and they like, they caught on your skin and pulled it and she was just miserable. So miserable, but it was what she wore for the last few episodes of Season 5. She ran around in those the whole time, they were like, reddish…

Ruth: With the high heeled boots.

Amber: And everybody hates running in high heels too. Such fun. Me, god, (laughs) what have I liked is the question. Oh, I was into the pyjamas but in the end I hated them.

Ruth: Okay, have you ever read Willow/Tara fanfic as we have a thriving creativity board now. And what kind of fanfic would you write for Willow and Tara, seeing as you’re a writer?

Amber: Um, let’s see…

Ruth: Something with breasts, naturally. (this comment relates to Amber’s hilarious diatribe on breasts in her talk, the previous day)

Amber laughs.

Amber: I haven’t actually read Willow/Tara fanfic per se, but I’ve heard stories about it. I’ve heard that Tara’s been around the block a couple of times (pulls knowing face).

We laugh. Yes, in an embarrassed knowing way.

Ruth: I wouldn’t know.

Amber laughs, looking at Halcyon.

Amber: We got a guilty party over here right?

Halcyon: I don’t write it I’ve just read it.

Amber: Um…but if I was gonna write something, I would probably write like a full on S and M Tara/Willow scene.

Puff: You’re welcome to post it on the board if you want.

Amber: I’d probably go full on S and M.

Ruth: I think that’s already been done actually.

Halcyon: You would know.

We exchange mute looks of breathless silence. Amber laughs. Obsidian anyone?

Amber: Well, that’s a story…

Puff: After the events of New Moon Rising and Tough Love, where would you like to see the Willow/Tara relationship go?

Amber: Um…I just like where it’s going, I think that it’s just very sweet and natural, and, I just like seeing two people being in love and I think that’s what I want to see more of.

Ruth: So do we. What do you think has been the defining moment for the character of Tara out of the two seasons?

Amber: Defining moment, like in a good way or like..?

Ruth: Well just sort of a…that’s what defines your character, that’s what she was.

Amber: Probably the whole episode of Family, like, she can figure out who she is and what she’s all about, you know. And it kind of shows that she’s sort of, it’s like everybody else, horribly insecure about the one we love, worried. That or the fight. The fight was very telling...

We make angst ridden noises. Now Amber realises that there are lesbians among us...

Ruth: What did we…I don’t know what it was, did we agree on, you know when Glory was brainsucking her and she said are you going to tell me who the key is and Tara just did that…firm jaw thing…we thought that was quite a defining moment for her.

Amber nods and grins. Oooh, a character discussion with the person that plays her! A thrill leapt through my body. Or it could have been envy at the array of sandwiches that Amber is scoffing...

Puff: None of the kitties has ever met Aly because she’s never done a convention. What do you think Aly would think of the kitty board?

Amber: I think she would love it. She’s very cool. She would dig it.

Ruth: When you do your Shakespeare readings, what’s been your favourite character to play and why?

Amber: Um..well…probably, just because it was so off the wall, I had to play Romeo opposite Michelle Trachtenberg’s Juliet. I’ve mentioned that a couple of times but I just think it’s funny, really funny. We had a good time too, she was really good. (pause) Gender bender there.

Puff: I get all the fun questions. (pause) What do you think of the kitty board’s fascination with your butt?

Amber: I personally of course, you know, I’m not like all that into it, I’m just you know, it’s my butt, whatever. But if it gets people goin’ hey….

We laugh.

Amber: If it makes people feel good about having a nice big butt then so be it, okay.

Ruth: It’s not big.

Amber: Well, it’s not small either, I mean it’s like, it’s like normal…it’s not small…

Ruth: It’s petite, I think.

We talk over one another here and dissolve into silly laughter in order to define the virtues of butt size.

Amber: No, it’s not! It's normal! It's a normal sized butt!(laughing)

Ruth: It’s pert.

Amber: But you know what…

Ruth: Sorry, I’m stopping now.

Amber: You know what, if it makes people feel like it’s okay to be curvy and cool to have boobs and hips and butts then it’s great. Of course we’ll always care about what we look like for god’s sake…

Ruth: But you’re not you’re tiny though.

Amber: Yeah but we’re always going (adopts whiny voice) well I can always lose weight, but you know just because you’re a woman and it’s like, dictated to you that you’re supposed to look a certain way, know what I mean and it’s bullshit. I think that, that what’s inside is what’s sexy, you know? (looks across the table to her friend) Right Simon?

Simon: (nodding) Oh yeah.

Amber looks across to her other companions.

Amber: Right Steven? Right Alice? (laughs)

Ruth: Um..okay, we’ve heard that you’ve lurked a couple of times on the kitty board.

Amber: (nodding) Uh-huh.

Ruth: What threads have you read? If any. (nervous laughter ensues)

Amber: Nothing bad.

Ruth: Well you can’t have read many then.(note: I was joking)

We all have a jolly good laugh at this. Nervous looks ensue.

Amber: Jen took me. My friend Jen. Ruth/

Puff: Yeah we know Jen.

Amber: She only shows me nice things on the kitty board.

Ruth: We only write nice things on the kitty board.

Amber laughs. It’s disturbing. Like she knows something I don’t.

Puff: Why do you think there has been so much positive attention to the Willow/Tara relationship? After the Bronze backlash.

Amber: I think that there’s a lot of people out there, whether they’re gay or not, they’re still, I think they can relate to this relationship because it’s a real relationship, not you know, ratings relationship, it’s not Buffy and Riley fucking each other…

Ruth: (feigning innocence and shock, yes, I laughed at that too…) Amber said the ‘f’ word!

Amber: It’s not all I like to say!

Ruth: We know! (this comment relates to Amber’s other diatribe in her talk the previous day when she admitted to having a potty mouth)

Amber: You know, it’s a real deal relationship and I think that’s why people relate to it.

Ruth: (reads questions) Okay, thanks for letting me ask this one…out of all the Buffy cast who play witches, who would you like to take a butt shot of?

Amber: (knows what we’re asking but plays along nicely, gawd luv ‘er) What do you mean by witches, like Willow and Tara witches or like demon witches…

Ruth: There’s a one word answer to this basically.

Amber giggles. Her companion, Steven, reminds her of Amy. Damn him.

Amber: Yeah there was Amy, poor ratted thing, what happened to Amy…I met her, I met the real, I met Elizabeth and she’s very sweet, very nice. And I’m like you poor rat you. (laughs)

Puff: Um…did Aly like the t-shirt? Has Aly got the t-shirt?

Amber: I haven’t given it to her yet because I didn’t have it when I saw her so…

Puff: Right.

Amber: But I’ll take it back with me and pass it on when we start working.

Ruth: Right, um, it’s a question that everybody’s been asking us to ask you, why aren’t you in the credits for Season 6?

Amber: It’s a Joss Whedon question. I have no answer.

Ruth: Do you want to be in the credits for Season 6?

Amber: Wouldn’t you wanna be in the credits for Season 6?

Ruth: Yeah.

Amber: But…I’m just happy to be on Buffy, one way or the other. And I am in the opening credits, I’m in Willow’s stuff.

Puff: Yeah. Okay, Vamp Willow’s been done; would you ever do Vamp Tara…

Amber: Oh yeah.

Puff: And what would be her prominent characteristics?

Amber: Hell yeah, since the boobs seem to be playing…I think she needs big boobs…

We burst out laughing.

Amber: Get her one of those wonder bras…work her…work her cleavage action.

We all laugh.

Puff: I get all the embarrassing questions…

Amber: Nor more embarrassed about it than I am, I’m all mmmhmm! (raises eyebrows wickedly and grins. Oh Vamp Tara, you live! You live!)

Ruth: Do you have anything else you’d like to say to the kitty board? Preferably not ending in ‘off’.

Amber: (smiles) You mean like bugger off?

Ruth: Yeah.

Amber: Um…thank you for all their support because they are so behind like what we’re doing on Buffy and they’re so behind me like as a person as an actor and stuff…

Ruth: Yeah but you’re really good to us too though.

Amber gives me a look like she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Like we're doing her a favour.

Ruth: You are.

Puff: We’re quite renowned now actually.

Halcyon: Which is all thanks to you.

Amber: Yes, yes, well I thought, you know, you guys got me all over the place so I thought I would give you a…an homage to the kitty board.

Puff: Everytime you’ve actually said the kitty board and done your butt thing we’ve missed it, ironically.

Amber laughs. Oh, the irony. Yes.

Ruth: That’s why he wanted that photo this morning. (Garfield insisted on his official photo with Amber being a buttshot of the two of them. People laughed. Stewards despaired. The photographer was confused.)

Amber: (laughing) Awwww...

Ruth: I think we’re kind of drawing it to a close now before it gets silly. We’re just going to go and stalk somebody else on the Buffy cast.

Amber: (mock offended) Hey! Why don’t you find another part of my body.

We all laugh loudly and try not to stare.

Ruth: Okay. Do you have any suggestions?

Amber: One that doesn’t begin with ‘F’.

We’re all kind of confused by this. Amber looks to her friends for support but they look as confused as we are.

Amber: ‘F’! Fanny!

Ruth: Oh right yeah…yeah…it means something else in Britain.

Amber: That’s what I mean, go focus on that. (we laugh raucously) That’s the only one not to focus on.

Garfield doesn’t understand. I tell him I will explain when he’s older.

Amber: It’s like Buffy, but not really.

Ruth: In Dutch?

Amber bursts out laughing as her cunning ruse of wordplay is rumbled.

Amber: Because it means blow job in Dutch.

Amber’s mum approaches the table and hears this last sentence. She says something to the effect of ‘a daughter of mine saying blow job’. We laugh again. She asks Amber to talk to the nice man from the Big Breakfast for a couple of minutes, as he’s funny. Amber says she will, but not right now. Puff and I wonder to each other if any more questions are appropriate, especially the ones we threw out last night. Amber notices our little discussion.

Amber: Oh I see, you’re ignoring me now.

Ruth: No…I mean…because we wrote most of these questions when we got in last night and we were very very drunk.

Puff: It was half past three in the morning don’t forget.

Ruth: But we loved your impression of Tara yesterday and wondered if you’d do a message to the kitty board as Tara.

Amber: Okay…you mean like this?

Ruth: Yeah.

Amber then goes into Tara mode. Now this is amazing. She is sitting crosslegged in the chair. Her shoulders hunch over and her head goes down and she starts trying to talk, with stutter. She even does the little Tarafrown that happens when the poor girl can't get her words out. Suddenly I realise I’m not sitting next to Amber. I’m actually sitting next to Tara. Weird. Excellent. But weird. And it’s really, really funny.

Amber: I w-w-w-wanted to say th-th-thank you for being such w-w-w-wonderful kitties. (pause, then as herself) That was so sad.

Ruth: And Willow’s a great kisser apparently.

Amber: Willow’s a g-g-g-good snog!


On that note we decide to go, but not before Halcyon gives Amber a book of seven thousand slang insults (later seen with a bookmark halfway through). She introduces us to her mum, who knows exactly who we are. Um. Hurrah. Her mum is only too pleased to thrust her daughter in between us for a picture and Amber thanks us once again. For letting us sit with her in her lunch break. And after hugs and goodbyes, we go outside to scream. Rather loudly.





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