by judy » Tue Jul 10, 2001 11:14 pm
I think it would be helpful to post some resources for lesbian/gay/bi/trans/questioning youth who may come to this board with questions and uncertainties:
Books for Lesbian/Gay/Bi/Transgender/Questioning Youth
Youth Groups and Community Centers
Online Resources and Websites for LGBTQ Youth
Unfortunately most of these lists are limited to the United States but I hope it helps some people.
[This message has been edited by xita (edited March 18, 2002).]
by xita » Tue Jul 10, 2001 11:50 pm
by Dr.G » Wed Jul 11, 2001 2:50 am
by Caity » Wed Jul 11, 2001 5:03 am
------------------
"Hello! Gay now!"
Instant gratification is highly overrated and is only a temporary fix.
by tommo » Wed Jul 11, 2001 6:32 am
These are probably more useful for UK kitties.
------------------
"Tara had never felt as good about herself in her life. Willow gave her that gift. And another gift. Tara couldn't quite bring herself to call it love. Not yet. But there was time." ~ Unseen: The Burning
by MidgetFishy » Wed Jul 11, 2001 6:49 am
just a thought.
------------------
Vectors? I don't have any vectors! I'm just a kid!
by Ressick » Wed Jul 11, 2001 9:06 pm
Res
by xita » Sun Jan 27, 2002 1:50 pm
by holy tara » Sun Jan 27, 2002 5:52 pm
I've found Anyway, I'm 17 and came out last year so if anyone needs to talk or anything my IM is jolie tara and e-mail...jolietara@yahoo.com grrr.....argh...it did not include the link! [This message has been edited by xita (edited January 27, 2002).]
Just go to mogenic.com....blah.
IP: Logged
quote:
Originally posted by tommo:
There are also some other links in
These are probably more useful for UK kitties.
The thread link up there wasn't working so I'm not sure if this site is in the list... Cat and I have both been volunteering with this bunch for a while now and there might be something of use to someone. The project actually covers the UK it's not just Manchester and the actual help-line, support by post etc is all run by young volunteers (14-24 yoa). http://www.peer-support.org.uk/
IP: Logged
IP: Logged
------------------
Autumn
I have the sudden urge to dedicate my productive cooperation.
IP: Logged
IP: Logged
Anyway, I don't know if this will sound really stupid or ignorant, but I figure I'll give it a try. I'm a 21 year old female and I've never been in a relationship of any kind--nothing more than a handful of first dates. My friends and I all gripe about the lack of nice guys where we go to school. I only know a couple that I think would make good boyfriends. So I don't know if it has been in frustration or something else that has led me to question my sexuality for the past year.
I guess what my question is, is how do I know for sure? This has really been bugging me for while and I haven't told a soul how I feel. I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, and I think I'd be about 90% comfortable with it, but for some reason I feel really hesitant to tell anyone. I think in part because if it turned out I wasn't, my friends would think its just another ridiculous, melodramatic phase of mine, and I'd be really embarassed. I have never done anything with a girl before and I'd want to feel something real with one before I'd feel comfortable talking to my friends about it.
Another thing, and I don't know if this is a gross stereotype or not (so please forgive me!), but the way people always talk to me about lesbians is that there is always at least one butch partner. But then I see Willow and Tara's relationship, and the Once and Again kiss with Jessie and Katie, and they are all quite feminine. I guess the thing with me is that I am quite feminine myself (none of my friends suspect what I am going through), and I find myself only attracted to really feminine girls. And guys, but mostly television people and not real people. So I was wondering, if there are a lot of lesbians out there in relationships where both partners are really feminine, and only attracted to women like that? Or would the fact that I like feminine women mean that I'm not really gay/bi?
Thanks! Any advice/similar experiences on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
IP: Logged
What do you guys think. Am I just curious or do I just dislike men ?
I come from a small town and do not have the faintest idea where to start. I do know though that I do not want to be lonely for ever and that I definately do not want to be in a conventional relationship with a man just to please the majority.
Thanks for reading. Hope this made sense.
JB
IP: Logged
IP: Logged
IP: Logged
And I also have to say that the characters of Willow and Tara have such a beautiful relationship. It's nice to see that being shown on TV, and I hope that it might convince a few people to be less homophobic, or at least let other people out there who are struggling with their sexuality realize that they're not alone.
IP: Logged
quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
Here's something else I wonder if anyone is dealing with. I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually.
I haven't really had a similar experience (long story short - I was raised Catholic, now I'm Unitarian Universalist, I've applied to Harvard Divinity school and I'm thinking about going into the ministry), but just keep in mind that a lot of the Bible (the basis of most Christian religions) was written a long long time ago. When you read anything, you should keep in mind 3 things: 1-who wrote it, 2-who it was written for, and 3-for what purpose was it written. Just keeping #1 in mind for now, the Bible was written thousands of years ago. The world has changed now, it's only natural. Things would be pretty boring if everything always stayed the same. And the Pope is a pretty conservative Pope. But he is changing as well, and the Vatican does change their views on things. My mom is still Catholic and she accepts that there are things that she believes that the Pope may not agree with, but she's able to understand that she's just going to have to disagree with some things right now. Just remember that religion has to change with the rest of the world, or else it becomes outdated. I recommend looking at that link above for Unitarian Universalism. If you don't know anything about it, you can pretty much believe whatever you want and still be Unitarian. They're very accepting of all sexual orientations and there are Catholic Unitarians, Jewish Unitarians, Buddhist Unitarians, Pagan Unitarians, etc. If there's a Unitarian congregation in your area (and this applies to anyone who's questioning), you may want to go check it out. My church even has groups for GLBT members.
I hope that helps a little. I think I got a little long-winded there!
------------------
~La
"No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will
come, an' we'll meet it when it does."
~Hagrid, from "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire".
[This message has been edited by La (edited March 18, 2002).]
IP: Logged
I am also having a hard time with having some Christian beliefs and having same sex attractions. Most of my family are Lutherans, one of my Uncles and Cousin are pastors. I live in a small town where most people are Christians. I was always told that being gay or bi was a sin, against nature and the people who were gay were evil. I never believed that I was evil or bad but I wasn't encouraged to think for myself or to have an original thought. I was suppose to believe the same things that my dad did. Anybody who didn't was if they were lucky just verbally abused, sometimes we were not so lucky. At that time I didn't know any better, I was young so I went along with it and didn't say anything cause I didn't want to get beat.
I don't see my family much now, thats the nice thing about being an adult I don't have to be around my family. I haven't been to church in a long time, not so much because I'm bi but because of some interpretations about men having authority over women that is just one of the things I don't agree with. If I wanted to go back to church I don't know if I could. I had recently told someone close to me (not anymore) that I was attracted to women, that I was bi. I told them this in confidence, they then went and told that to someone at their work who told someone else, who told someone else, who told my cousin. Then my cousin told my brother who told my parents who asked me about it. What they heard was that I was a lesbian and that I had a girlfriend. I told them that "no I didn't have a gf", which is true and they appeared to be satisfied with that answer, they at least didn't ask me anymore about it. However this gossip is going around the town and the neighboring town, like gossip does. So if I were to go back to church I don't think that I would be welcomed. I have seen how my Uncle was treated when someone tried to out him. It wasn't pretty.
As far as that maniac Fred Phelps (the God Hates Fags guy), or what the bible says about homosexuality goes. I don't believe God hates gays and if being one is a sin and we are going to hell for it then everyone will be there because all sin. I've been told that is where I will be anyway cause I don't submit/obey "proper male authority". I have submission issues *smile*
So Grace your not alone, I'm sure that there are alot of people who struggle with this and I hope you get the balence that you are seeking. I'm working on mine.
IP: Logged
Michelle
IP: Logged
quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually.[/B]
As was I, raised Catholic, grammer shool, nuns, memorizing the prepositions ect.... then when I was 16 things got more complicated when my Mother moived the family to Utah and we joined the LDS (Mormon) church. So I had lots of issues when I came out.
Not to sound flip or to belittle your struggle, but ultimately I desided that it was between me and G*d(ddes). I had chosen to love, and if he/she/it had a problem with it I am sure I will be notified. My partner suggests the fiction of Andrew Greeley, he is a detective writing priest who deals with these and other sexual issues with class and caring.
------------------
Ad astea per asta
IP: Logged
I`m 21, been in my current relationship for 3 years but painfully it has just ended.
Kinda feel lost, unloved, alone and now...kinda sick.
I wish humans didn`t have a need to feel loved or sometimes be overcome by their own selfish need that it blinkers them.
I know my life will go on but it`s hard and i`m only into the first week, she hasn`t even left me yet! But I cannot take her back again, I have to look after myself. I have given up everything to be with her and yet i`m still not enough, I know I will never make her happy. Or at least happy enough that she can let go of the victim inside her that other people have caused and I so desparately wanted to take her away from.
I ended my life pretty much to make hers and now I find that the life I had I can no longer get back and the women I fought for is no longer mine, emotionally or otherwise.
I feel crushed and helpless, not sure which way to turn. I know I should be thankful that I am free and that it is better to hurt without her than with her but god it hurts.
Erm, sorry about that, had to get it off my chest.
Rachelle
------------------
"I want you, but i`m not giving in this time.
Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold onto."
IP: Logged
IP: Logged
quote:
Originally posted by tommo:
There are also some other links in
These are probably more useful for UK kitties.
The thread link up there wasn't working so I'm not sure if this site is in the list... Cat and I have both been volunteering with this bunch for a while now and there might be something of use to someone. The project actually covers the UK it's not just Manchester and the actual help-line, support by post etc is all run by young volunteers (14-24 yoa). http://www.peer-support.org.uk/
IP: Logged
posted January 28, 2002 16:14quote:
Originally posted by tommo:
There are also some other links in
These are probably more useful for UK kitties.
The thread link up there wasn't working so I'm not sure if this site is in the list... Cat and I have both been volunteering with this bunch for a while now and there might be something of use to someone. The project actually covers the UK it's not just Manchester and the actual help-line, support by post etc is all run by young volunteers (14-24 yoa). http://www.peer-support.org.uk/
quote:IP: LoggedTwisted RabbitCool Monster Fighter IP: Logged
posted February 03, 2002 11:48 If you speak Dutch, then these links might be useful: ------------------
Autumn
I have the sudden urge to dedicate my productive cooperation.
IP: Logged
posted February 16, 2002 18:10 Seemed to me this thread needed a bump.------------------
Autumn
I have the sudden urge to dedicate my productive cooperation.
IP: LoggedshellybeanWillowhand IP: Logged
posted February 19, 2002 00:48 Thanks for the links.IP: LoggedMistressMaraJ*unregistered posted March 18, 2002 03:23Anyway, I don't know if this will sound really stupid or ignorant, but I figure I'll give it a try. I'm a 21 year old female and I've never been in a relationship of any kind--nothing more than a handful of first dates. My friends and I all gripe about the lack of nice guys where we go to school. I only know a couple that I think would make good boyfriends. So I don't know if it has been in frustration or something else that has led me to question my sexuality for the past year.
I guess what my question is, is how do I know for sure? This has really been bugging me for while and I haven't told a soul how I feel. I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, and I think I'd be about 90% comfortable with it, but for some reason I feel really hesitant to tell anyone. I think in part because if it turned out I wasn't, my friends would think its just another ridiculous, melodramatic phase of mine, and I'd be really embarassed. I have never done anything with a girl before and I'd want to feel something real with one before I'd feel comfortable talking to my friends about it.
Another thing, and I don't know if this is a gross stereotype or not (so please forgive me!), but the way people always talk to me about lesbians is that there is always at least one butch partner. But then I see Willow and Tara's relationship, and the Once and Again kiss with Jessie and Katie, and they are all quite feminine. I guess the thing with me is that I am quite feminine myself (none of my friends suspect what I am going through), and I find myself only attracted to really feminine girls. And guys, but mostly television people and not real people. So I was wondering, if there are a lot of lesbians out there in relationships where both partners are really feminine, and only attracted to women like that? Or would the fact that I like feminine women mean that I'm not really gay/bi?
Thanks! Any advice/similar experiences on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 03:23 Hey everyone!Anyway, I don't know if this will sound really stupid or ignorant, but I figure I'll give it a try. I'm a 21 year old female and I've never been in a relationship of any kind--nothing more than a handful of first dates. My friends and I all gripe about the lack of nice guys where we go to school. I only know a couple that I think would make good boyfriends. So I don't know if it has been in frustration or something else that has led me to question my sexuality for the past year.
I guess what my question is, is how do I know for sure? This has really been bugging me for while and I haven't told a soul how I feel. I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, and I think I'd be about 90% comfortable with it, but for some reason I feel really hesitant to tell anyone. I think in part because if it turned out I wasn't, my friends would think its just another ridiculous, melodramatic phase of mine, and I'd be really embarassed. I have never done anything with a girl before and I'd want to feel something real with one before I'd feel comfortable talking to my friends about it.
Another thing, and I don't know if this is a gross stereotype or not (so please forgive me!), but the way people always talk to me about lesbians is that there is always at least one butch partner. But then I see Willow and Tara's relationship, and the Once and Again kiss with Jessie and Katie, and they are all quite feminine. I guess the thing with me is that I am quite feminine myself (none of my friends suspect what I am going through), and I find myself only attracted to really feminine girls. And guys, but mostly television people and not real people. So I was wondering, if there are a lot of lesbians out there in relationships where both partners are really feminine, and only attracted to women like that? Or would the fact that I like feminine women mean that I'm not really gay/bi?
Thanks! Any advice/similar experiences on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
What do you guys think. Am I just curious or do I just dislike men ?
I come from a small town and do not have the faintest idea where to start. I do know though that I do not want to be lonely for ever and that I definately do not want to be in a conventional relationship with a man just to please the majority.
Thanks for reading. Hope this made sense.
JB
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 03:24 Hi everyone - I had been lurking on this board for over 12 monhs and finally registered this year. I have been thnking about posting this for a while but I was not sure what to say. I have seen how supportive you guys are so I thought what the hell. Sorry if this is long winded, I am after some feedback !What do you guys think. Am I just curious or do I just dislike men ?
I come from a small town and do not have the faintest idea where to start. I do know though that I do not want to be lonely for ever and that I definately do not want to be in a conventional relationship with a man just to please the majority.
Thanks for reading. Hope this made sense.
JB
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 03:24 JB-IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 03:31 Wow, I'm reading so many things that I am feeling myself. That's part of the reason I was so drawn to the kitten board, I love the support and love I see in the postings. I am very confused righ now. I don't want to talk about my mixed feelings with any of my friends yet because although I believe they will be supportive, I don't want to say anything until I am more sure. But I don't know how to be sure. I get so nervous when it comes to intimacy, and at 25, that's a problem. And I would hate to get involved with a woman and then hurt her by saying, 'hey, guess what? sorry, but I'm not actually gay.' It would feel like I used her to test my own feelings. Just being able to share these thoughts with actual people feels really good. I am so thankful for the kitten community. Here's something else I wonder if anyone is dealing with. I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually. And I also have to say that the characters of Willow and Tara have such a beautiful relationship. It's nice to see that being shown on TV, and I hope that it might convince a few people to be less homophobic, or at least let other people out there who are struggling with their sexuality realize that they're not alone.
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 04:03 I gotta say that all you kittens are great! I've been going through the whole "am I gay or am I bi?" thing for a while now. Part of what's hard about it is that asking a woman out isn't nearly as easy as asking a guy out. I mean, I don't really know a lot of single lesbians. And most of the girls I had crushes on were straight. Happily, I've finally met and am falling for a wonderful girl who *is* gay and seems equally interested in me. I don't know how things will turn out or if she is actually "the one," but I can tell you that kissing her just feels right, when there always seemed to be something slightly off whenever I got all snuggly with a guy. Am I sharing too much? Sorry, I'm just all giddy with being a smitten kittenAnd I also have to say that the characters of Willow and Tara have such a beautiful relationship. It's nice to see that being shown on TV, and I hope that it might convince a few people to be less homophobic, or at least let other people out there who are struggling with their sexuality realize that they're not alone.
IP: LoggedLaCool Monster Fighter quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
Here's something else I wonder if anyone is dealing with. I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually.
I haven't really had a similar experience (long story short - I was raised Catholic, now I'm Unitarian Universalist, I've applied to Harvard Divinity school and I'm thinking about going into the ministry), but just keep in mind that a lot of the Bible (the basis of most Christian religions) was written a long long time ago. When you read anything, you should keep in mind 3 things: 1-who wrote it, 2-who it was written for, and 3-for what purpose was it written. Just keeping #1 in mind for now, the Bible was written thousands of years ago. The world has changed now, it's only natural. Things would be pretty boring if everything always stayed the same. And the Pope is a pretty conservative Pope. But he is changing as well, and the Vatican does change their views on things. My mom is still Catholic and she accepts that there are things that she believes that the Pope may not agree with, but she's able to understand that she's just going to have to disagree with some things right now. Just remember that religion has to change with the rest of the world, or else it becomes outdated. I recommend looking at that link above for Unitarian Universalism. If you don't know anything about it, you can pretty much believe whatever you want and still be Unitarian. They're very accepting of all sexual orientations and there are Catholic Unitarians, Jewish Unitarians, Buddhist Unitarians, Pagan Unitarians, etc. If there's a Unitarian congregation in your area (and this applies to anyone who's questioning), you may want to go check it out. My church even has groups for GLBT members.
I hope that helps a little. I think I got a little long-winded there!
------------------
~La
"No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will
come, an' we'll meet it when it does."
~Hagrid, from "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire".
[This message has been edited by La (edited March 18, 2002).]
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 05:12quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
Here's something else I wonder if anyone is dealing with. I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually.
I haven't really had a similar experience (long story short - I was raised Catholic, now I'm Unitarian Universalist, I've applied to Harvard Divinity school and I'm thinking about going into the ministry), but just keep in mind that a lot of the Bible (the basis of most Christian religions) was written a long long time ago. When you read anything, you should keep in mind 3 things: 1-who wrote it, 2-who it was written for, and 3-for what purpose was it written. Just keeping #1 in mind for now, the Bible was written thousands of years ago. The world has changed now, it's only natural. Things would be pretty boring if everything always stayed the same. And the Pope is a pretty conservative Pope. But he is changing as well, and the Vatican does change their views on things. My mom is still Catholic and she accepts that there are things that she believes that the Pope may not agree with, but she's able to understand that she's just going to have to disagree with some things right now. Just remember that religion has to change with the rest of the world, or else it becomes outdated. I recommend looking at that link above for Unitarian Universalism. If you don't know anything about it, you can pretty much believe whatever you want and still be Unitarian. They're very accepting of all sexual orientations and there are Catholic Unitarians, Jewish Unitarians, Buddhist Unitarians, Pagan Unitarians, etc. If there's a Unitarian congregation in your area (and this applies to anyone who's questioning), you may want to go check it out. My church even has groups for GLBT members.
I hope that helps a little. I think I got a little long-winded there!
------------------
~La
"No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will
come, an' we'll meet it when it does."
~Hagrid, from "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire".
[This message has been edited by La (edited March 18, 2002).]
quote:IP: LoggednetaBlessed Wannabe I am also having a hard time with having some Christian beliefs and having same sex attractions. Most of my family are Lutherans, one of my Uncles and Cousin are pastors. I live in a small town where most people are Christians. I was always told that being gay or bi was a sin, against nature and the people who were gay were evil. I never believed that I was evil or bad but I wasn't encouraged to think for myself or to have an original thought. I was suppose to believe the same things that my dad did. Anybody who didn't was if they were lucky just verbally abused, sometimes we were not so lucky. At that time I didn't know any better, I was young so I went along with it and didn't say anything cause I didn't want to get beat.
I don't see my family much now, thats the nice thing about being an adult I don't have to be around my family. I haven't been to church in a long time, not so much because I'm bi but because of some interpretations about men having authority over women that is just one of the things I don't agree with. If I wanted to go back to church I don't know if I could. I had recently told someone close to me (not anymore) that I was attracted to women, that I was bi. I told them this in confidence, they then went and told that to someone at their work who told someone else, who told someone else, who told my cousin. Then my cousin told my brother who told my parents who asked me about it. What they heard was that I was a lesbian and that I had a girlfriend. I told them that "no I didn't have a gf", which is true and they appeared to be satisfied with that answer, they at least didn't ask me anymore about it. However this gossip is going around the town and the neighboring town, like gossip does. So if I were to go back to church I don't think that I would be welcomed. I have seen how my Uncle was treated when someone tried to out him. It wasn't pretty.
As far as that maniac Fred Phelps (the God Hates Fags guy), or what the bible says about homosexuality goes. I don't believe God hates gays and if being one is a sin and we are going to hell for it then everyone will be there because all sin. I've been told that is where I will be anyway cause I don't submit/obey "proper male authority". I have submission issues *smile*
So Grace your not alone, I'm sure that there are alot of people who struggle with this and I hope you get the balence that you are seeking. I'm working on mine.
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 06:22 "I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience?" - Quote from Grace.I am also having a hard time with having some Christian beliefs and having same sex attractions. Most of my family are Lutherans, one of my Uncles and Cousin are pastors. I live in a small town where most people are Christians. I was always told that being gay or bi was a sin, against nature and the people who were gay were evil. I never believed that I was evil or bad but I wasn't encouraged to think for myself or to have an original thought. I was suppose to believe the same things that my dad did. Anybody who didn't was if they were lucky just verbally abused, sometimes we were not so lucky. At that time I didn't know any better, I was young so I went along with it and didn't say anything cause I didn't want to get beat.
I don't see my family much now, thats the nice thing about being an adult I don't have to be around my family. I haven't been to church in a long time, not so much because I'm bi but because of some interpretations about men having authority over women that is just one of the things I don't agree with. If I wanted to go back to church I don't know if I could. I had recently told someone close to me (not anymore) that I was attracted to women, that I was bi. I told them this in confidence, they then went and told that to someone at their work who told someone else, who told someone else, who told my cousin. Then my cousin told my brother who told my parents who asked me about it. What they heard was that I was a lesbian and that I had a girlfriend. I told them that "no I didn't have a gf", which is true and they appeared to be satisfied with that answer, they at least didn't ask me anymore about it. However this gossip is going around the town and the neighboring town, like gossip does. So if I were to go back to church I don't think that I would be welcomed. I have seen how my Uncle was treated when someone tried to out him. It wasn't pretty.
As far as that maniac Fred Phelps (the God Hates Fags guy), or what the bible says about homosexuality goes. I don't believe God hates gays and if being one is a sin and we are going to hell for it then everyone will be there because all sin. I've been told that is where I will be anyway cause I don't submit/obey "proper male authority". I have submission issues *smile*
So Grace your not alone, I'm sure that there are alot of people who struggle with this and I hope you get the balence that you are seeking. I'm working on mine.
Michelle
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 09:38 I'm a born-again christian and I too have grown up with people telling me that homosexuality is a sin...these people don't speak for God...He loves everyone regardless. I'm not a judgmental person (unlike my parents), so I believe as long as people are trying to be happy it's cool by me. A friend of mine about four years ago told me that she was gay and it didn't change anything between us. I'm 23 and I haven't had too many relationships to speak of, but there was a time a couple years ago that I questioned whether or not I might be gay/bi. I searched my heart for answers and realized that although I was frustrated with guys, they were still the ones I'm attracted to. Even though I'm not gay, I hope that some of this might help someone. I guess I just wanted to say that not all christians are homophobic...I'm certainly not. I feel a little nervous about saying all of this...I hope I didn't offend anyone. I don't think I said anything offensive.Michelle
IP: LoggedKarziaDoll's Eye Crystal quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually.[/B]
As was I, raised Catholic, grammer shool, nuns, memorizing the prepositions ect.... then when I was 16 things got more complicated when my Mother moived the family to Utah and we joined the LDS (Mormon) church. So I had lots of issues when I came out.
Not to sound flip or to belittle your struggle, but ultimately I desided that it was between me and G*d(ddes). I had chosen to love, and if he/she/it had a problem with it I am sure I will be notified. My partner suggests the fiction of Andrew Greeley, he is a detective writing priest who deals with these and other sexual issues with class and caring.
------------------
Ad astea per asta
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 09:47quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually.[/B]
As was I, raised Catholic, grammer shool, nuns, memorizing the prepositions ect.... then when I was 16 things got more complicated when my Mother moived the family to Utah and we joined the LDS (Mormon) church. So I had lots of issues when I came out.
Not to sound flip or to belittle your struggle, but ultimately I desided that it was between me and G*d(ddes). I had chosen to love, and if he/she/it had a problem with it I am sure I will be notified. My partner suggests the fiction of Andrew Greeley, he is a detective writing priest who deals with these and other sexual issues with class and caring.
------------------
Ad astea per asta
I`m 21, been in my current relationship for 3 years but painfully it has just ended.
Kinda feel lost, unloved, alone and now...kinda sick.
I wish humans didn`t have a need to feel loved or sometimes be overcome by their own selfish need that it blinkers them.
I know my life will go on but it`s hard and i`m only into the first week, she hasn`t even left me yet! But I cannot take her back again, I have to look after myself. I have given up everything to be with her and yet i`m still not enough, I know I will never make her happy. Or at least happy enough that she can let go of the victim inside her that other people have caused and I so desparately wanted to take her away from.
I ended my life pretty much to make hers and now I find that the life I had I can no longer get back and the women I fought for is no longer mine, emotionally or otherwise.
I feel crushed and helpless, not sure which way to turn. I know I should be thankful that I am free and that it is better to hurt without her than with her but god it hurts.
Erm, sorry about that, had to get it off my chest.
Rachelle
------------------
"I want you, but i`m not giving in this time.
Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold onto."
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 10:44 I think this is a really good idea, well done!I`m 21, been in my current relationship for 3 years but painfully it has just ended.
Kinda feel lost, unloved, alone and now...kinda sick.
I wish humans didn`t have a need to feel loved or sometimes be overcome by their own selfish need that it blinkers them.
I know my life will go on but it`s hard and i`m only into the first week, she hasn`t even left me yet! But I cannot take her back again, I have to look after myself. I have given up everything to be with her and yet i`m still not enough, I know I will never make her happy. Or at least happy enough that she can let go of the victim inside her that other people have caused and I so desparately wanted to take her away from.
I ended my life pretty much to make hers and now I find that the life I had I can no longer get back and the women I fought for is no longer mine, emotionally or otherwise.
I feel crushed and helpless, not sure which way to turn. I know I should be thankful that I am free and that it is better to hurt without her than with her but god it hurts.
Erm, sorry about that, had to get it off my chest.
Rachelle
------------------
"I want you, but i`m not giving in this time.
Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold onto."
IP: Logged
posted March 18, 2002 10:56 I'm so glad to see this thread. Anyway, I need some advice.by Caroline » Mon Jan 28, 2002 2:14 pm
quote:
Originally posted by tommo:
There are also some other links in
These are probably more useful for UK kitties.
The thread link up there wasn't working so I'm not sure if this site is in the list... Cat and I have both been volunteering with this bunch for a while now and there might be something of use to someone. The project actually covers the UK it's not just Manchester and the actual help-line, support by post etc is all run by young volunteers (14-24 yoa). http://www.peer-support.org.uk/
quote:by Twisted Rabbit » Sun Feb 03, 2002 9:48 am
by AutumnT » Sat Feb 16, 2002 4:10 pm
------------------
Autumn
I have the sudden urge to dedicate my productive cooperation.
by MistressMaraJ* » Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:23 am
Anyway, I don't know if this will sound really stupid or ignorant, but I figure I'll give it a try. I'm a 21 year old female and I've never been in a relationship of any kind--nothing more than a handful of first dates. My friends and I all gripe about the lack of nice guys where we go to school. I only know a couple that I think would make good boyfriends. So I don't know if it has been in frustration or something else that has led me to question my sexuality for the past year.
I guess what my question is, is how do I know for sure? This has really been bugging me for while and I haven't told a soul how I feel. I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, and I think I'd be about 90% comfortable with it, but for some reason I feel really hesitant to tell anyone. I think in part because if it turned out I wasn't, my friends would think its just another ridiculous, melodramatic phase of mine, and I'd be really embarassed. I have never done anything with a girl before and I'd want to feel something real with one before I'd feel comfortable talking to my friends about it.
Another thing, and I don't know if this is a gross stereotype or not (so please forgive me!), but the way people always talk to me about lesbians is that there is always at least one butch partner. But then I see Willow and Tara's relationship, and the Once and Again kiss with Jessie and Katie, and they are all quite feminine. I guess the thing with me is that I am quite feminine myself (none of my friends suspect what I am going through), and I find myself only attracted to really feminine girls. And guys, but mostly television people and not real people. So I was wondering, if there are a lot of lesbians out there in relationships where both partners are really feminine, and only attracted to women like that? Or would the fact that I like feminine women mean that I'm not really gay/bi?
Thanks! Any advice/similar experiences on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
by Genea* » Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:24 am
by JB* » Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:24 am
What do you guys think. Am I just curious or do I just dislike men ?
I come from a small town and do not have the faintest idea where to start. I do know though that I do not want to be lonely for ever and that I definately do not want to be in a conventional relationship with a man just to please the majority.
Thanks for reading. Hope this made sense.
JB
by Grace* » Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:31 am
by willow's girl » Mon Mar 18, 2002 2:03 am
And I also have to say that the characters of Willow and Tara have such a beautiful relationship. It's nice to see that being shown on TV, and I hope that it might convince a few people to be less homophobic, or at least let other people out there who are struggling with their sexuality realize that they're not alone.
by La » Mon Mar 18, 2002 3:12 am
quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
Here's something else I wonder if anyone is dealing with. I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually.
I haven't really had a similar experience (long story short - I was raised Catholic, now I'm Unitarian Universalist, I've applied to Harvard Divinity school and I'm thinking about going into the ministry), but just keep in mind that a lot of the Bible (the basis of most Christian religions) was written a long long time ago. When you read anything, you should keep in mind 3 things: 1-who wrote it, 2-who it was written for, and 3-for what purpose was it written. Just keeping #1 in mind for now, the Bible was written thousands of years ago. The world has changed now, it's only natural. Things would be pretty boring if everything always stayed the same. And the Pope is a pretty conservative Pope. But he is changing as well, and the Vatican does change their views on things. My mom is still Catholic and she accepts that there are things that she believes that the Pope may not agree with, but she's able to understand that she's just going to have to disagree with some things right now. Just remember that religion has to change with the rest of the world, or else it becomes outdated. I recommend looking at that link above for Unitarian Universalism. If you don't know anything about it, you can pretty much believe whatever you want and still be Unitarian. They're very accepting of all sexual orientations and there are Catholic Unitarians, Jewish Unitarians, Buddhist Unitarians, Pagan Unitarians, etc. If there's a Unitarian congregation in your area (and this applies to anyone who's questioning), you may want to go check it out. My church even has groups for GLBT members.
I hope that helps a little. I think I got a little long-winded there!
------------------
~La
"No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will
come, an' we'll meet it when it does."
~Hagrid, from "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire".
[This message has been edited by La (edited March 18, 2002).]
quote:by neta » Mon Mar 18, 2002 4:22 am
I am also having a hard time with having some Christian beliefs and having same sex attractions. Most of my family are Lutherans, one of my Uncles and Cousin are pastors. I live in a small town where most people are Christians. I was always told that being gay or bi was a sin, against nature and the people who were gay were evil. I never believed that I was evil or bad but I wasn't encouraged to think for myself or to have an original thought. I was suppose to believe the same things that my dad did. Anybody who didn't was if they were lucky just verbally abused, sometimes we were not so lucky. At that time I didn't know any better, I was young so I went along with it and didn't say anything cause I didn't want to get beat.
I don't see my family much now, thats the nice thing about being an adult I don't have to be around my family. I haven't been to church in a long time, not so much because I'm bi but because of some interpretations about men having authority over women that is just one of the things I don't agree with. If I wanted to go back to church I don't know if I could. I had recently told someone close to me (not anymore) that I was attracted to women, that I was bi. I told them this in confidence, they then went and told that to someone at their work who told someone else, who told someone else, who told my cousin. Then my cousin told my brother who told my parents who asked me about it. What they heard was that I was a lesbian and that I had a girlfriend. I told them that "no I didn't have a gf", which is true and they appeared to be satisfied with that answer, they at least didn't ask me anymore about it. However this gossip is going around the town and the neighboring town, like gossip does. So if I were to go back to church I don't think that I would be welcomed. I have seen how my Uncle was treated when someone tried to out him. It wasn't pretty.
As far as that maniac Fred Phelps (the God Hates Fags guy), or what the bible says about homosexuality goes. I don't believe God hates gays and if being one is a sin and we are going to hell for it then everyone will be there because all sin. I've been told that is where I will be anyway cause I don't submit/obey "proper male authority". I have submission issues *smile*
So Grace your not alone, I'm sure that there are alot of people who struggle with this and I hope you get the balence that you are seeking. I'm working on mine.
by Mini-ALF » Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:38 am
Michelle
by Karzia » Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:47 am
quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience? Thanks for listening, or reading actually.[/B]
As was I, raised Catholic, grammer shool, nuns, memorizing the prepositions ect.... then when I was 16 things got more complicated when my Mother moived the family to Utah and we joined the LDS (Mormon) church. So I had lots of issues when I came out.
Not to sound flip or to belittle your struggle, but ultimately I desided that it was between me and G*d(ddes). I had chosen to love, and if he/she/it had a problem with it I am sure I will be notified. My partner suggests the fiction of Andrew Greeley, he is a detective writing priest who deals with these and other sexual issues with class and caring.
------------------
Ad astea per asta
by capricornmist » Mon Mar 18, 2002 8:44 am
I`m 21, been in my current relationship for 3 years but painfully it has just ended.
Kinda feel lost, unloved, alone and now...kinda sick.
I wish humans didn`t have a need to feel loved or sometimes be overcome by their own selfish need that it blinkers them.
I know my life will go on but it`s hard and i`m only into the first week, she hasn`t even left me yet! But I cannot take her back again, I have to look after myself. I have given up everything to be with her and yet i`m still not enough, I know I will never make her happy. Or at least happy enough that she can let go of the victim inside her that other people have caused and I so desparately wanted to take her away from.
I ended my life pretty much to make hers and now I find that the life I had I can no longer get back and the women I fought for is no longer mine, emotionally or otherwise.
I feel crushed and helpless, not sure which way to turn. I know I should be thankful that I am free and that it is better to hurt without her than with her but god it hurts.
Erm, sorry about that, had to get it off my chest.
Rachelle
------------------
"I want you, but i`m not giving in this time.
Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold onto."
by Willowhand » Mon Mar 18, 2002 8:56 am
by Karzia » Mon Mar 18, 2002 10:10 am
quote:
Originally posted by Willowhand:
I'm so glad to see this thread. Anyway, I need some advice.
I've known I was gay for a really, really long time....and, I've come out to everyone, except my parents. My parents are divorced, and I live with my mother...so, I'm not as concerned with telling my dad right now. What I really want to do is tell my mother...but I'm not sure how she'll react. She was completely homophobic about two or three years ago...then I got her to watch Willow and Tara recently, and she *does* like them together. I've been trying to tell her lately that being gay isn't a sin and blah blah blah...but even though I've been hinting around that I'm gay, she still doesn't know that I am. And I just really want her to know, since everyone else does. It just seems kind of weird when she asks me which guys in my school I like...and...I can't say anything, and then she always wonders why. Anyway, to make a long story short, I just need some advice on coming out to my mom.
I to some extent do understand. I went through the "how do I tell my Born again Mormon mother that I am in Love with she who Mom thinks is my roomate?"
My solution may not be helpful but it is kinda funny and honest. Midwestregional fandom taught me that love was ok and that it was good to be gay, My mother moved to San Francisco and got a dose of reality, and my younger brother announced his wife was with child. I figure the pressure was off
------------------
Ad astea per asta
by PandoraSpocks » Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:22 pm
I posted earlier yesterday under the thread 'Question about being gay' I think I figure it out. I was talking about how I don't seem to be attracted to anyone, except for female television personalities. I thought about it all last night and this morning. The reason I'm not attracted to people on the street, is because of just that, there people on the street. I don't know them, for me it's has to be a physical as well as emotional connection. I have to like their personality and on television we get a glimpse of their beauty as well as personality. I'm glad I worked that out for myself, but I'm still completly confuse. I still think I need to put myself in a position where I can interact personally in a gay atmosphere. I'll have to ask my cousin when I see her, she has alot of gay friends and I know there's gay bars in Vancouver. Any other advice would be appreciated, there's never to much advice and Your all great with the no pressure.
[This message has been edited by WillTara (edited March 18, 2002).]
by judy » Mon Mar 18, 2002 4:03 pm
What is the worst possible reaction your mother could have? Would she bar you from the house and would you have a place to stay if this was the case? How financially dependent are you on her?
Are you prepared to deal with the emotional repercussions of telling her and her reactions? Do you have SUPPORT systems set up to help you through it?
Sometimes coming out is touted as the be all and end all solution by members of the community. Being out is seen as a supreme form of queer existence. This is actually bullshit and a privileged attitude. There are many people who cannot come out because of the real circumstances of their lives, because they'd be homeless, unemployed, excommunicated from the only community they know, and/or in physical danger. I am not saying this to scare you from coming out or to discourage you. I think it's great and empowering when it is the safe thing to do (safe in terms of personal emotional health as well as physically and financially). But it is important to make a plan, to think it through, before just doing it. I have worked with gay teens who didn't think it through and the results were not pretty or empowering. (and I in no way blame them for the homophobia of their families). Good luck with whatever you decide!
Some helpful info and links from Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).
Be sure to read their brochure Coming Out to Your Parents.
And there is a section in the FAQ I linked about religion and being gay for others on this thread wrestling with that issue.
[This message has been edited by judy (edited March 18, 2002).]
by Dazey » Mon Mar 18, 2002 5:00 pm
quote:
Originally posted by Grace*:
I was raised Catholic, and it says that homosexuality is a sin. I don't agree with this, in fact, there are several things I don't agree with in my faith, but it is still a part of me, and it's important. I'm having a big problem balancing these two aspects of my life. Anyone else had a similar experience?
Yes. It's a difficult path to walk, but many people do it. FWIW, realize that the Catholic Church, unlike more fundamentalist denominations, does not teach that being homosexual is a sin or that gays and lesbians are evil and will go to hell. It does teach that "homosexual acts" are sinful, in the same way that sex outside of marriage or sex using contraception is sinful. This is, of course, still hugely problematic and not something I agree with, obviously, but it's an important distinction that is not always made.
Realize as well that there are many Church teachings--basically, any which have not been declared solemnly infallible, and that's most of them including the teachings on homosexuality--from which you can in good conscience dissent and still be a good Catholic.
Finding a sensitive pastor with whom to discuss these issues can be very helpful. Also, 2 good online resources are The Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Catholic Handbook, which has a wealth of information related to this topic, and the website of Dignity USA, an organization for gay and lesbian Catholics.
quote:by LBJM » Mon Mar 18, 2002 6:45 pm
quote:
Originally posted by capricornmist:
I think this is a really good idea, well done!I`m 21, been in my current relationship for 3 years but painfully it has just ended.
Kinda feel lost, unloved, alone and now...kinda sick.I wish humans didn`t have a need to feel loved or sometimes be overcome by their own selfish need that it blinkers them.
I know my life will go on but it`s hard and i`m only into the first week, she hasn`t even left me yet! But I cannot take her back again, I have to look after myself. I have given up everything to be with her and yet i`m still not enough, I know I will never make her happy. Or at least happy enough that she can let go of the victim inside her that other people have caused and I so desparately wanted to take her away from.
I ended my life pretty much to make hers and now I find that the life I had I can no longer get back and the women I fought for is no longer mine, emotionally or otherwise.
I feel crushed and helpless, not sure which way to turn. I know I should be thankful that I am free and that it is better to hurt without her than with her but god it hurts.
Erm, sorry about that, had to get it off my chest.
Rachelle
Return to Novogate Backup Kitten
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests
