"Mission Statement"
"It's a Fantastico Life"
Part 5. "Spring Her"Rating: PG-13 Sexual references, adult themes.“Has it started yet?” came Dawn’s excited voice the instant that Willow opened the front door. The teenager hurried into the living room with Willow in tow. The redhead sat down again with her partner while Dawn took an adjoining chair. Noisily, she produced a huge packet of crisps from a bag she was carrying and opened it in a great shower of tasty fragments. She passed the bag to the witches and began trying to pick up the largest of the fallen pieces.
“Dawn,” Tara began awkwardly, “why…”
“Mum said,” Dawn answered, her mouth full. She swallowed and continued, “she said no way was she going to watch Buffy humiliate herself on television, and she wasn’t gonna let me watch in my room, either. So here I am. Oh wow, there she is!” Buffy and Faith were both in picture, sitting on chairs in front of a studio audience. A host with a hand-held microphone was asking them questions.
“Now, you two are neighbours?”
“Yes,” Buffy said.
“Yes Jerry, we are,” Faith agreed, nodding.
“And you met not too long ago, and you became friends?” the host asked, keeping a very neutral tone, but the audience weren’t fooled. A chorus of “Ooooh!”s and catcalls could be heard. I blinked and wondered why they were called catcalls. Cats never feel the need to interrupt and shout mindless things when other people are talking. It’s terribly rude.
Buffy and Faith nodded in answer to the question. Jerry the host ploughed on. “But something happened between you; you became lovers?” The audience noise rose to a crescendo. “There’s a complication, isn’t there Buffy; do you mind telling us what it is?”
Almost inaudibly, Buffy said, “I’m married.”
Loudly and clearly, for the benefit of the slowest-witted audience members, Jerry parroted: “You’re married.” There was another chorus of “Oooh”s and “Aaaahs!”s from the mob.
“But you’re still living with your husband?” Jerry put to Buffy, who appeared uncomfortable. Faith, sitting close beside, looked like she was about to cry. A few hecklers in the crowd started to chant insultingly but they were in the minority. Willow stirred restlessly in her chair, angered by what was happening to her friend. For an instant it looked as though Buffy would break down, but she pulled herself together, sat up straight and looked the audience square in the eye.
“Yes, I’m still living with my husband,” she said evenly. “But these things aren’t simple or easy. I didn’t plan to fall in love with this woman.” She squeezed Faith’s hand, lifted it to her lips and kissed it. A sigh rippled through the audience and the hecklers were quiet. “When I met her, it felt as if I’d known her for years. I felt so at ease in her presence, and I felt something that I had never experienced before, not even with my husband. I don’t know what it is, but it feels like I’ve been fighting battles my whole life; they might seem to be trivial things, but they were big to me. And the last few weeks, confronting my sexuality, my feelings for my child and for my husband and for Faith, it has been the toughest battle of my life, but I believe that I am making the right decision. I love this woman. I am gay.” She looked at Faith again, and this time the brunette did begin to cry. Buffy shook her head at Faith as if to say: “Stop that, you’ll make me start, too.” The audience applauded warmly, and there were a couple of whistles.
“So you decided that you were going to be up front about your sexuality, and make this profound change in your life, which is why you’re here now,” Jerry said. Buffy nodded. Faith’s tears had stopped flowing, and she was now sitting on the edge of her seat, knowing what was coming next. “You haven’t told your husband yet have you? That you’re gay, and that you are seeing someone.”
“No, no I haven’t.” The audience “Oooo”ed, and “ahhh”ed, also knowing full well what was coming.
“Well, he’s here right now,” the host continued. “Let’s bring him out.”
“He won’t do anything,” Willow said hopefully, though I wondered why. I suppose she hoped that Xander could be mature about this, and that he wouldn’t make a scene.
“Oh, yes he will,” Tara contradicted her wife. And sure enough, Xander emerged from backstage and he came out swinging. He was pointing and yelling, the soundtrack was bleeping for all it was worth, and if looks could kill, he would have slain Buffy and Faith on the spot. A couple of gorillas in black tees blocked his path, but he kept on spewing abuse for a full minute. The crowd was in uproar, cheering Xander on, booing him, laughing and yelling.
The gorillas eventually backed off, and Xander began to calm down, but he still looked like he was about ready to do some serious harm to someone. They cut to a commercial break. Willow took a couple of deep breaths. Dawn looked momentarily stunned.
“That went well, right?” Willow said at last. “Do you think it went well?” she asked no-one in particular.
“We know it did. Wait and see,” said Tara calmly. “Are you okay Dawnie?” The teenager nodded without taking her eyes off the television, as if mesmerised. She reached for a big bottle of cola from her bag, opened it and took a long drink. The commercial break came to an end.
“Lex, right?” Jerry approached Xander cautiously. There was still a lot of audience noise. Xander looked sullenly out through his fringe of untidy black hair. “You’ve calmed down, right? Well, you’ve heard it now, Buffy here has fallen in love with Faith and you’ve had a chance to think it over. Is there anything you’d like to say to Buffy?”
“Well,” he began tentatively, “the marriage vow is…very sacred…the man has…put us together, you know…you oughta…”
“No!” Tara couldn’t restrain herself from exclaiming. “Couldn’t he come up with anything better than corny old song lyrics?” Apparently not, and Buffy’s only response to Xander was to mutter something that was inaudible even to me, and to turn to Faith for support.
Jerry too was clearly after something more concrete. “Okay, so you want Buffy and you to stick together, I can understand that. But I want to hear a bit more; Buffy here has had a secret, and she’s revealed it now. Lex, is there anything you want to share with Buffy?” That shook Dawn out of her trance. She took another long swig of her drink and sat forward in her chair.
Xander’s body language changed completely. Previously he had been all aggression and wounded pride; now he squirmed and tried to make himself look small.
“Buffy’s been seeing someone,” Jerry pressured. “Now she’s told you about it, it’s out in the open. How about you?”
“Nothin’ to see, move it along,” Xander said hastily, like an automaton.
“Well, it’s very interesting that you say that, because it’s not what you told me earlier in private,” Jerry said. He was moving around and gesturing exaggeratedly, trying to keep the audience on the boil.
“Oh…right, that,” Xander suddenly looked very furtive.
Buffy could stand it no longer. “Lex, are you seeing someone?” she demanded.
Jerry took over smoothly. “There, Buffy’s just asked you a direct question. Is there someone else you’re seeing?”
“No!” Xander said hastily, but then added: “not exactly.”
Jerry gave the audience a brief knowing look and a smile. “Not exactly,” he repeated. “I think you ought to be as honest with Buffy as she’s been with you. Right?” The audience roared in the affirmative and there was a brief war-chant: ‘Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!’ The host held his hand up for quiet, and got it. “Are you seeing another woman?”
“Yeah,” Xander said tiredly. The audience began to murmur and buzz amongst themselves. They had thought they were going to see a cheating wife exposed, but events had taken an odd turn.
“Well, let’s bring her out,” the ringmaster said, gesturing grandly. The camera switched to a young woman coming onto the stage, teetering on heels that were a full inch too long for her. Under the makeup and enormous hair, it was difficult to tell if she was attractive or not. “Here’s Candice.” The audience erupted in whoops and whistles.
“Oh, I know her!” Dawn scoffed. “She’s only like the biggest tramp in - ”
“Dawn!” Tara said warningly.
The teen subsided a little. “Buffy’s so gonna kick her ass,” she grumbled.
If that was indeed the intended outcome, Buffy had missed her cue. Candice flounced onstage, almost tripping over in the process, and pointedly took a seat right next to Xander. Both Buffy and Faith looked at the pair of them with studied indifference. I think they may have even borrowed that particular expression from me. For a second Jerry almost looked flustered; the show was faltering.
“Do you have anything you want to say to Lex?” Jerry asked Buffy.
Exhaustedly, Buffy said: “Go ahead, Lex. Have as many as you want.”
“Are you saying you’re through with Lex?” Jerry seemed inexplicably slow for such a smart fellow. Maybe he was just helping the audience along.
“I’m in love with Faith, and she’s a better parent to my son than his father ever was,” Buffy said heatedly. She then turned back to Faith and took her hands, evidently having nothing more to say. There were scattered cheers from the crowd.
Jerry looked pensive for all of one second. He then addressed Candice. “So are you going to stay with Lex?”
“Sure,” Candice grinned through neglected teeth. “Lex here is my man, and I’ll be better for him than that - ” The crowd roared and the rest of Candice’s speech was drowned out. Faith though looked knives at her, and it was clear enough what Candice had said.
“Okay, fine,” Jerry said, playing her like a prize sea bass. “But you are aware that Lex kept the fact he was seeing you a secret from Buffy; are you sure he hasn’t kept any secrets from you?”
Candice’s jaw dropped, and Xander suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable. Candice turned on him and shouted: “Are you seeing another woman?”
“No!” Xander denied emphatically.
“That’s right,” Jerry cut in expertly, “there is no other woman in your life, is there? But you told us backstage that there is someone, right?”
Utter pandemonium ensued. All that Candice could manage was an outraged: “Wha - ”. Half the audience were on their feet, baying like bloodhounds. Like the eye of the hurricane, Buffy and Faith sat very still, drawing strength from each other.
“Do you want to say what else has been going on?” Jerry asked Xander, his mouth very close to the microphone to make himself heard above the din.
Suddenly Xander seemed resigned to it all. “I’ve been seeing this guy,” he said at last, and the crowd went wild.
“Well let’s bring him out!” Jerry announced gleefully. “Here’s Dylan!”
Dylan appeared on stage. He was a young man, and in my opinion, reasonably good looking. For a human. But his face was contorted with fury, directed towards - Xander.
“You {BLEEP} {BLEEP} lying {BLEEP} you {BLEEP} lied to me you {BLEEP}!” Dylan yelled at Xander, and the goons in black shirts were called into action to keep him from hitting Xander. Even Buffy and Faith seemed mildly surprised by this stage, though more at Dylan’s response than Xander’s latest revelation. After all, finding out that Xander had been paying the odd visit to boy’s town could hardly have been a surprise to Faith; and I reflected, she would have had no compelling reason to restrain herself from dropping the odd hint to Buffy about it, either. But why was Dylan so upset? That had even me puzzled for a moment, but then I understood: Xander had kept Dylan in the dark as well. Then I remembered what Anyanka had told me: “
enough rope.”
The studio audience was in chaos, with yelling and screaming and stamping of feet and derisive comments directed at Xander. A chant of “You Suck!” started up and inexorably built in tempo and volume until it seemed that almost the entire world was shouting it. Even though she already knew the bare facts of what had happened, Willow was still beside herself with rage. “So Xander has a wife and a mistress and a boyfriend! What is his problem?”
“I know, I know!” Dawn put her hand up, by this time having had too much sugar and caffeine. “He faints when he mas - ”
“DAWN!!” Willow and Tara chorused.
The producers of the show must have thought all their Christmases had come at once when they were approached simultaneously by both Buffy and Xander with their respective secret affairs. Or at least they must have been the tiniest bit suspicious that they were being set up by a bunch of porn stars trying to promote their latest film. But curiously, Buffy and Faith had almost spoiled the program. Their quiet dignity and courage had won the audience over too quickly in the sequence, and their refusal to become abusive in any way had also been a great disappointment. At least, this was what Jerry told them privately after the show was over. He said that the entire segment had only been saved by two things: Xander’s boy-caught-with-hand-in-cookie-jar act, and Dylan’s frenzied entrance at the end. “Two people meeting, falling in love and being happy and mature and peaceful is not what this show is about,” he told Buffy and Faith. Faith’s pointed (and, I regret to say, quite lengthy) response made even Jerry blush to the roots of his immaculately coiffed hair.
In her earlier phone call, Buffy had told Willow most of what had happened both during the show and right afterwards. It seemed that Candice and Dylan, lacking any good reason to hate each other, had become friendly after taping finished and had gone out drinking to console each other. Both agreed that they wanted nothing more to do with Lex Harris. They also found that they both had wretched taste in men; so it turned out that they in fact had a lot more in common than first seemed to be the case. It seemed likely that they would remain friends, which came as a surprise to just about everybody. Buffy and Faith naturally had departed together, which had left Xander a very lonely and bemused fifth wheel. He eventually left the studio wearing the look of a man who, if he hadn’t already lost everything, was well on the way.
“Do you have any idea why Lex did it?” Willow had asked during their telephone conversation.
“I asked him all right,” Buffy had replied. It was the last time she and Lex had spoken, backstage after recording of the show had finished. “He fed me some line about wanting to clear his conscience about what was going on.”
“You didn’t believe him, Buffy?” Willow asked.
“Not really, I mean he was kind of repeating what I’d said to him already. About coming clean. But Will, I was leaving him; even before I found about the others, I’d made my mind up. I would have been okay sitting and talking to him about Faith and me; just the two of us. It was Faith that wanted to go public; I guess she was right. I still don’t know why she hates him so much; she barely knows him.”
“You don’t hate him?” Willow asked, almost surprised - but then she remembered: Buffy doesn’t know everything.
“No Will, I don’t. In the early days he was sweet and funny. It was okay when he was a teenager in school, but he’s in his twenties now and he’s never changed. Now he just seems - immature, and kinda irritating. You know, he used to say to me that he was the luckiest guy in the world.”
“Why’s that, Buffy?”
“Because he married me. He said it felt as if his every wish had come true.”
Willow stammered: “W-wish?”
“Yeah. To marry the prettiest girl in school. He said that was his wish. It was icky I know, but it always made me feel kind of special. But lately, I dunno…”
“Buffy, he’s been having sex with other people behind your back,” Willow said with some bitterness.
“So have I.”
“With one person, Faith. And you love each other. You weren’t doing it for kicks. Lex didn’t care about the people he was screwing; you could tell. Buffy, he did it for fun.”
“I know, I know. And I wasn’t really surprised, Will. There were enough clues, for godsake. He was never around. He always said he was working, but there was never any extra money around…”
“But why did he do it; cheat on you like that? I mean, I understand you and Faith, Buffy, you have no idea how totally I get you and Faith, but Lex…”
“Opportunity, Will,” Buffy replied. “It seems that my husband can resist anything except temptation.”
“Well fine,” Willow scoffed, “but just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. But I still don’t think I understand. First he screws around, and-and then he tells you about it in the most idiotic way imaginable. I mean, I know he was never that bright, but - ”
“Who knows, Will? Could’ve been the money, or maybe the seven minutes in the spotlight. Maybe he believed that’s it’s possible to have a life just like - oh, how does that dumb song go? ‘I wish life could be Swedish magazines’; something like that.”
“Ewww…” was all that Willow could say at first. Then: “Um, Buffy, surely the line in that song would be kind of - ironic, don’t you think?”
“Possibly, yeah, but Lex had an irony bypass when he was fifteen, remember?” Buffy chuckled.
“Irony John he’s surely not,” Willow agreed
“I guess the lesson is: be careful what you wish for,” Buffy said.
“Or maybe don’t ask for one wish too many,” Willow added, almost to herself…
The program ended. Jerry tried to say a final few words about truth and honesty and openness, but it didn’t really work for him; silently, Buffy and Faith had already said it all. As the credits rolled, Willow turned the television off and stood up. She turned to look at Tara.
“Well that was about as uplifting as a black hole,” she announced to her blonde lover. “Seeing that has made me only more determined to go through with it.” Tara nodded in agreement.
“Go through with what?” Dawn asked. When Willow told her, the teen was aghast. “You can’t be serious! It’s obscene! Think about the baby; how could you possibly do that to an innocent child, take away any chance it has of a - a normal life?”
“That is exactly why we have to do it, Dawn,” Tara said, while Willow went to get the necessary tools. “We want our baby to have a normal life, and I can’t think of a better way…” Willow by this stage had returned; the redhead brusquely unplugged the TV from the wall and set about removing the back panel with a cordless screwdriver.
“Destroying your TV set is not the way to have a normal life!” Dawn objected.
“Why not?” Tara said.
“Well, what about tonight? Wasn’t it good to see Buffy and Faith together like that?”
“Dawn,” Tara explained patiently. “I don’t need to watch TV to know that Buffy is gracious, or that Faith is brave and strong. I have real life for that. If those are the things you value, then you should look for them in the people that you love, not among a bunch of underweight strangers who are only trying to make you buy something.”
“Movies…” Dawn was weakening.
“It might surprise you to know that movies are made to be watched in a movie theatre, not in your living room. After the baby is a few months old, Willow and I will definitely be going to the movies. Plays, too. Maybe you’d like to earn some money babysitting for us?”
“Well, sure,” Dawn admitted, “but - ” Just then the telephone rang. Dawn gave up and went to get a brush to clear up her crumbs.
Tara answered the phone; it was Buffy. “I was just calling to see how Jimmy is,” she said.
“He’s sleeping,” Tara said. “And he was no trouble whatsoever.”
“Oh, good. Is it over yet?” the ex-Slayer asked.
“The broadcast? Yes, it’s just finished,” Tara said. “You two did great.”
“Thanks. And thanks for being there for us. I guess I kind of love you and Will.”
“We love you both too, Buffy. Are you enjoying your night out?” Tara asked. “I don’t hear much noise in the background.”
“We just had some dinner and got a room,” Buffy explained. “Faith thought she might like to go out dancing, but we’re both kinda beat.”
“I understand,” Tara said. “It’s been a rough few weeks.”
“Yeah.”
“Is Faith there?” Tara asked. There was a momentary silence.
“She’s sleeping. You know, she’s pretty special.”
“Yes, we know.”
“She told me this weird-ass fairy story tonight, just before she fell asleep.”
“Really?” Tara asked neutrally, though it seemed to me that the blonde looked just a little tense at that moment.
“Yeah, she told me that she met me in another lifetime, and that we were these two Chosen Ones, who had to fight against all these vampires and monsters. It creeped me out, I gotta tell you.”
“I suppose it would. What did you think of the story?”
“Well, I told her that just to be chosen by her was enough for me.”
“That was a good answer,” Tara said. “Have you heard from Xander - um, Lex?”
“Not since the taping of the show. I’ve heard he’s been back home for clothes and stuff a couple of times, but we haven’t seen him.” Buffy and James had moved in with Faith immediately after the show was taped and had been looking about for a cheap apartment ever since.
“If you want me to help hit him up for maintenance…” Tara offered.
“Maybe he hasn’t got any,” Buffy said. “He hasn’t been back to work. But that gives me an idea, Tara.”
“I’m listening.”
Buffy’s idea was this: there were vast numbers of men across the length and breadth of the country that were evading paying maintenance for their children. Government programs were able to catch some of them, but there were still plenty of them out there who were evading the long and wobbly arm of the law. Faith and Buffy were planning to start up a company that, for a modest percentage, would track down these missing fathers and get the maintenance payments restarted. They needed Tara to check firstly if this was legal, and if it wasn’t, they would consider doing the same job under government contract.
Tara thought this was a good idea for a business venture; it was also good that Buffy was planning to make time for studying and completing her high school diploma. Faith was being very supportive on both counts.
But just what did happen to Xander? Perhaps it’s just as well for Buffy and her friends’ peace of mind that they don’t know. What I’m about to tell you came from a friend of a friend of a friend. It might have been imagination or some bad catnip, but this is the story that has been passed down to me. A cat stalking rats in an alley not far from the TV studio swears he heard the whole thing. The alley ran next to a tavern, and there was small window high on one wall that belonged to the men’s rest room. The cat was sitting on the window ledge throughout.
“Hey, you! You’re the dude, right?” a garrulous voice asked over the sound of running water.
“Huh?” came a sullen voice in reply.
“You’re that Lex dude! You were on the show tonight!”
“Yeah,” the sullen voice sounded even more sullen.
“I was in the audience. Dude, you were amazing!”
“I don’t feel too amazing right now.”
“No, really. Look, seriously, you should do movies.”
“Oh yeah, like ‘Pearl Harbor’; I could play the bomb,” Xander sighed.
“Hey, no, you’ve got something…no wait! I’m serious. Look, I’m sorry, I should introduce myself. The name’s John, John Harden. People call me JT. T’s for Thomas. I’m a movie producer; here’s my card.”
There was silence for a moment. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” Xander said at last. “After that disaster?”
“Well, yeah,” JT said. “Come outside for a second.” A door to the alleyway opened, and two men stepped outside, one Xander Harris, the other a stocky guy with a loud shirt, a hairy neck and an outrageous solarium tan. “Look,” JT continued in a quieter voice, “I’m not kiddin’ aroun’ here, I think you got what I’m lookin’ for.”
“Which is what?”
“A guy who ain’t scared to try nothin’. Are you dat guy?”
“Well, I…” Xander hesitated.
“Look, we’re doin’ a movie right now, you’d be perfect for it.”
“Are there any big stars in it?”
“No,” JT said warily, “this is kinda an independent - art-house sorta film, you know what I’m sayin’? But the video market, mail-order…big business,” he rubbed his fingers together in a way that Xander couldn’t possibly mistake.
“So what’s the part?”
“See, it’s in dis big hotel. There’s a lotta kooky people stayin’ there dat get up to all sortsa stuff. And dis one guy - you - he’s the desk clerk, and he, you know, listens at doors and watches at keyholes. He’s tryin’ to catch folks doin’ what they shouldn’ oughta, heh-heh.”
“Is he kind of like Tim Curry in ‘Home Alone 2’?” Xander asked.
JT’s face cracked in a huge grin. He pulled a pair of cigars out of his pocket, gave one to Xander and lit them. “You’re a smart guy, you know that? What’s your other name, Lex?”
“Harris.”
“Lex Harris? Aw…gonna hafta change dat if you’re gonna be a movie star. Lessee now…this desk clerk, is a smart guy, right? So you gotta have a name that says you’re smart.”
“Mensa?”
“Nah, too long. How about Brain? Nothin’s smarter than a Brain, right?”
“Okay,” Xander nodded.
“But he’s also tough, so his first name has gotta be a tough guy name.”
“Arnold, or Bruce,” Xander suggested. “Or Sylvester?”
“Nah, a tough guy’s name! Like Jack, or-or…I got it! Rick! Nothin’ says tough guy to me like a man named Rick, right?”
“Seriously? You want me to start calling myself Rick Brain?”
“Look, it’s d’stin’tive. No-one ever gonna forget you wid a name like dat. You’d be like…aw, Slim Pickens, or Roger Moore.”
“What’s so special about Roger Moore?”
“So are you free to do dis movie?” JT ignored Xander’s question. “What you doin’ next week?”
“I should be back at work…”
“What line of work you in, Rick?”
“Construction.”
“Aw, Jesus! What, you a hard-hat?” Xander nodded. “Sheesh, and I thought you were smart! Listen, dat’s for losers. Ev’y few years, you get laid off, guaranteed. Then when it’s busy, dere’s so much work you bust your guts all day for nothin’. Which state you work in?”
“California.”
“Oh, worse! Next earthquake, all your buildings fall down, you get sued and you end up on de street. But hey! I got an idea. The movie don’t start for another week. I got dis other business, see - I sell cars, every so often I need cars delivered to another state, and my regular driver just got bus - he quit on me. I gotta car needs to be delivered to LA dis week. Maybe you could drive it, then come back and do de movie.”
“I’ve got a plane ticket…” Xander hesitated.
“I’ll pay you five hundred cash to deliver the car,” JT said hurriedly. “You can sell the ticket, you’ll make even more money. And chances are dere’ll be anudder car needs deliverin’ right back here. Same money. Whaddyasay?”
“Um…okay.”
“Attaboy! Now lemme buy ya a drink, Dick.” JT clapped an arm on Xander’s back and they went back inside the tavern.
Are you absolutely sure that you aren’t still making wishes come true, sweet Anyanka?
Buffy’s telephone conversation with Tara at length came to an end. Tara promised Buffy that if the venture came to anything, she would be happy to provide suitably threatening legally worded documents for anyone who needed them, and that Willow had some good information on ways to find people through various computer databases. Willow’s work was done, too. At last the great heavy phosphor tube came free. Willow cut through the last of the trailing wires and Dawn helped her lug the thing out towards the back of the house. They set it down outside the back door. “The recyclers can pick it up tomorrow,” Willow noted.
“It felt like I was ripping my own heart out,” Dawn commented.
“Trust us,” Tara admonished the teenager with a gentle smile on her face. “Within a few weeks, you won’t even notice that we don’t have a TV anymore.”
“What makes you think I’ll ever come round here again?” Dawn sniffed, but Willow and Tara both laughed at her, and finally the teenager joined in. They saw Dawn to the front door and hugged and kissed her good night.
“Sorry the spare bed’s taken,” Willow said, “it being so late and all. You could have slept over. You want a lift home?”
“It’s okay. I need to walk off all the snack food, anyway,” Dawn said.
“See you soon?” Tara asked.
“Before the baby comes, I promise,” Dawn said. Perhaps it was the knowledge that Willow and Tara no longer had a working television and that conversations with them in the future were necessarily going to be broader and deeper. I don’t know. But whatever the reason, suddenly Dawn added: “I love you guys, you know that, right? And you wanna know something else? When Jimmy was born, I was an aunt, but what with Buffy dropping out and leaving home, it was almost something to be ashamed of. If you decide - that it’s okay for me to be like an aunt to your baby - I would be honoured.”
“Oh Dawn, of course,” Tara said.
“Absolutely,” Willow agreed. Dawn kissed them both once more, waved and set off for home. I resisted the temptation to run outside through the still-open front door; it usually upsets the witches. The three of us went back to the living room. Tara and Willow stood side-by-side looking at the empty television set. The redhead draped an arm over the blonde’s shoulder. Tara sighed and gave Willow’s hand a squeeze. Where the TV tube had been there was now an empty space, crawling with frayed wires. I went up to inspect. It looked inviting, so I stepped inside and found a nice spot to curl up. It gave a good view of the couch.
The witches chuckled. “I’ll take the rest of the wires out tomorrow,” Willow promised. “I think Jimmy will love crawling into it to play.”
“Oh no he won’t; this is my spot,” I objected.
“I think Miss Kitty disagrees with you there,” Tara laughed.
“Oh I know!” Willow exclaimed. “We’ll get a fish tank and we can sit and watch them; it’ll be way better than TV.” She dropped to her knees and stretched out a hand to pat me on the head. “You won’t eat the little fishes will you, Miss Kitty Fantastico?” she asked me.
“Of course I’ll eat them,” I promised. “What do you take me for?”
“Good Miss Kitty,” the redhead said, tickling my ears. “Are you sleeping here tonight? You can if you want.” She took Tara’s hand and they walked slowly towards their bedroom. “Need a back rub, hon?” Willow said to Tara as they went.
“Mmmm, that would be so good,” I heard Tara sigh. “I’m kind of sore across here.”
“Where?”
“Give me your hand…right - across - there.”
“Consider it massaged.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Oh, and by the way - nice ass,” Willow chuckled.
“Interesting, coming from a dedicated breast gal.”
“Just seeking a little variety.” They both laughed quietly.
After a moment I stood up, got out of the television, stretched, and padded off towards Jimmy’s room. He would have had enough time to warm the bed up nicely, I decided.
The following week, Willow bought an inflatable swimming pool. It came in a cardboard box and looked compact enough, but when fully inflated, it was enormous. Round, at least five feet in internal diameter, close to two feet high and with walls almost a foot thick at the base. Tipped on end, it would barely fit through a normal doorway. Willow rolled it away into the spare bedroom and announced that everything was ready. Except for the last minute baking, and cleaning, and tidying. Tara begged Willow to sit down and rest for a bit; she was making her feel giddy. Willow obeyed reluctantly. Every morning Willow walks out the door to go to work she feels anxious; she hardly dares go to sleep at night. She doesn’t want to miss even a minute of Tara’s labour; she knows there is just so much to do. And at last the due date is only one day away…
For my part, I am looking forward to taking things easy for a bit. I still chase the odd mouse, I eat and drink and I take my regular naps. I don’t concern myself with magic much these days because I frankly don’t see the need. I will help Willow and Tara bring up their daughter, much as I already try to do with James. I will live out the rest of my life with Willow and Tara. I know that I will grow old and die soon enough; perhaps while my little sister is still a child; almost certainly before she graduates from high school. It’s regrettable, but at least I will never have the heartbreak of living through the day she moves out of her parents’ home…
It’s started, it’s happening! Tonight after dinner, Tara stood up to put her dinner plate away and her waters broke in a great gush. Willow leapt into action, helping Tara into a warm bath, cleaning up the mess, fetching the pool and filling it, turning lights down, putting soothing music on, phoning the midwife…
A couple of hours later and the house is dark and mostly quiet. Tara and Willow are working their way steadily through labour. The pains with each contraction are a little stronger now and at last Tara decides she wants to be in the pool. Willow helps her over the high wall and into the steaming warm water. Instantly the pain is a tenth what it was. Tara sighs, closes her eyes for a moment, and then she looks over at Willow and smiles. Warm hands meet and clasp and all is well. In the lull that follows, Willow gets Tara a cool drink, and then gets one for herself and she finally sits down for the first time in what seems an eternity.
The only lights in the room are candles and the LEDs on the stereo. I have been sitting quietly through much of what has happened so far, but at times just like Willow I can’t keep still; I pace the room and I want to leap and turn somersaults. Just this once I want to be able to talk in a human voice and tell Willow and Tara that everything will be all right; that this is their moment and that they have earned it. The witches are still alone: the midwife is on standby; she’s been getting regular word from Willow and will probably come over the next time they call her. But I sort of think both Willow and Tara are hoping that the midwife doesn’t make it in time; Tara knows her own body and Willow knows well enough (from all of her reading) how to lend a helping hand. Yes, a new child is a public event, but the act of birthing is intensely personal, and I just have this feeling I can’t shake that they both are hoping that when this baby comes into the world, it’ll just be them; Willow and Tara; and should they need it, perhaps with a little help from me.
The End
"They fed me behind bars from an iron pan till one night I felt that I was Bagheera--the Panther-- and no man's plaything, and I broke the silly lock with one blow of my paw and came away." Rudyard Kipling
at: 5/22/03 4:07:52 pm
Jimmy is so sweet; to see W/T sort of "practicing" motherhood with him in anticipation of their real thing is charming.
Just great!
but, i have to say this fic has by far and away been one of my favorites, bagheera. i can't even imagine how on earth you came up with the plot lines to go from the mess the end of season six was, to vamp tara and all of the demons that went along with that, right on down towards anya and giles wedding to xander being the root of all evil (i think we all knew that though--he was based on 
after all) and you brought everything full circle with miss kitty (and jerry springer). it was such a unique and fun approach to have her tell the ending of the story--really a great perspective. she's definitely a sassy kitty 
