FIC - Left Of Center

[tommo]

Ah yes, Buffy birthdays always end badly. You think they'd know by now.



Great action sequence at the end here; you manage to describe what's going on in short, punchy paragraphs that really accentuate the tension.



Excellent stuff. Thanks.

----------
No metaphors...just fucking.

[LeatherQueen]

Oh my god!! Poor Buffy... can't even have a non-birthday birthday party.



*sniff* Those gifts were so good. And Willow standing on her own... mostly.



But oh, Rack and Donny are in for it now. Not only did they hurt Tara, but they hurt Dawn. Please let her be ok?



*sending many hugs and happy wishes to jomarch... wherever she may roam...*

--------------------------------


"Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind." - Glory


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[Thanatopsis]

Jeez, you think they'd learn. It's like Spike said in Older and Far Away, "So, you ever think about *not* celebrating a birthday? Just to try it, I mean." Vamp's got a point.

-----------------
Because he's with Willow. And if something ... happened, I'd know.

Edited by: Thanatopsis at: 4/20/02 2:18:14 am

[La]

Not that I'm happy Dawn's hurt, but FINALLY something happens with Dawn's energy. Great job jomarch. Loved all the different gifts that everyone gave.



Hope you're still having a nice relaxing vacation. I'm not a big fan of whiskey, but I did find that when other things were unavailable, that usually helped. In Korea I'm pretty much stuck with melatonin and warm milk, not necessarily together. Enjoy the rest of your vacation! (we are still missing you on the island ... we've gone from food fights to a campfire planned for Sunday/Monday and some zero-gravity snowboarding!)

~La


If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic." ~Shelly Roberts
You know you've been in Korea too long when you snack on cold rice picked out of the steamer with your fingers.

[Grimaldi]

great update. Mabye all of the Scoobies need to make a pact to not only never celebrate Buffy's birthday, but also never even mention it.

Rack and Donny need to die in the most painful and horrible way possible.

"That movie has warpped my fragile little mind"



"Hey, look at the prostitutes you guys!"

[Drakkenfyre]

Jomarch- Wow, sweetie, that was incredible. Going from such tender emotions with Willow standing, the gifts and then suddenly evil in its uptmost form arriving. The fight scene was great. But sweetie, you know my poor heart can't take the cliffhanger, melodrama endings. I will be strong for you though.



Owl- Glad you liked the bagpipers! It was the least I could do for you. Sorry they ate all the soup. I send them my love and love to you as well.

"We few, we happy few."
"We band of buggered."

[BigMac]

Well one is for sure Donny and Rack will pay. Nice update

Tara: Assume Crash
Positions

[xita]

Yikes, great update. And yes never do anything on Buffy's birthday!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Everything is turning out so dark..."

"No, it's okay. Lost is good. Willow and I always know how to find each other!"

[sheila wt]

Great update! The action scenes were very well written.



They should just take Buffy's birthday off the calendar...

Sheila

...................................................................


Willow: "If you felt lost and alone? Where would you go?"

Tara:"To you."

[SquishyTrishy]

Hey



Very Nice story flowidge!



and People wounder Y i hate birthdays!



~trish~

[Lucy Moore]

Beautiful update...Just one thing...You're going to leave us hanging here,aren't you?

fiat justitia,ruat caelum

[Bobos Mom]

Good lord, that was wonderfully written! Jomarch, I do believe that your writing grows stronger and stronger by the update. At tis rate, i think you should ditch the corperate world and take up the life of a wandering freelance author.



Owl, my friend, you're a good mistress of grammer, and a dear, to keep us happy by posting the continuation to the story. Thanks for your hard work and attentiveness to this thread. You are a beta goddess. I plan on doing a naked headstand in thanks as soon as I send this. Enjoy the show.

*********

TARA: Willow and I always know how to find each other!

ANYA: With yoga?

[Lonewolf22]

Jomarch and Owl: Very cool update, I hate that Dawn got hurt, I really hope Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies kick Donny's and Rack's ass all over Sunnydale, I'm curious to see what Dawn's key power will do. I can't wait to read more.



Lonewolf

[daydreamer]

WOW!!!! Jomarch, great update! I know I haven't been posting feedback lately as I've been away from the board for a week. But this latest update was just brilliant. I have to agree with Bobo's Mom, your writing just keeps getting better and better with each new update. This one proves it. You've managed to brilliantly mix the touchy-feely stuff with fast-paced action. And you write action so well. I dare say you should consider writing as a profession. Can't wait for the next update. I know you're kind enough to not left us hanging like that. Owl, update, please?

----------

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul... - Pablo Neruda

[Pixie gishmock]

Woo hoo!! A wonderful update, jomarch! I loved the birthday presents! And I was right about Giles' present! *Pixie does the dance of joy* Owl, you nogoodnik, I was right and you didn't let on! *reconsiders* Owl, mein liebeleh, gishmockeh shayna maydeleh, you stuck to your beta-guns and didn't spill. (biff!)



Jomarch, the present-giving was lovely and emotional. But now I'm swinging desperately in my harness. Rack and Donny are on the loose, Dawn is hurt... . Oy va voy lanu! (Woe is us)



So in the interests of getting through the angst, showing jomarch the love, and answering the call for hijinks, here it is: A Fake Update. (Remember: I'm so not a writer)

______________________________________________________



For a moment, no one moved, the echo of Buffy's anguished calling of her sister's name ringing in their ears. Then Buffy raced to Dawn, leaning over her to listen to her breathing. Giles, Anya and Xander slowly began to pick themselves up off the floor, while Willow dragged her body across the room to Tara.



Giles stumbled to Buffy's side. "Is she breathing, Buffy?"



"Yeah," Buffy replied absently, all her attention concentrated on her sister. She lightly patted Dawn's cheeks. "Come on, Dawnie, wake up." After a moment, Dawn groaned and stirred.



By the stairs, Willow and Tara were having a similar exchange, Tara's head in Willow's lap.



Suddenly, they heard loud thumping and muffled yells coming from outside. In the ensuing silence, the conscious Scoobies looked at each other with both fear and exasperation. "Oh God, what now?" Xander muttered.



Buffy rose to her feet, taking a protective stance over her sister. Within moments, the others heard what Buffy's slayer hearing had detected - the sound of at least a dozen footsteps rapidly approaching the house.



Xander peeked out the window and exclaimed, "All I see are bobbing green lights!"



"Maybe it's a gang of pixies," Anya offered helpfully.



Willow was trying to move Tara farther away from the open door as the footsteps grew closer. They seemed to stop at the driveway, and the gang could hear a heated exchange in low voices. Buffy looked a bit perplexed as she tried to relay the parts of the conversation she could make out. "They seem to be arguing about who's gonna come to the door."



The footsteps moved up the driveway to the walk. Buffy planted herself in front of the door, with Giles and Xander a few steps behind her, ready to protect the others, when, suddenly....Buffy began to laugh.



"Buffy, come on!" Willow's voice was high-pitched from the tension. "I know you like to laugh in the face of danger, but this is probably not the time!"



"Guys, it's okay." Buffy grinned at them as an oddly dressed woman appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a cheerleader's uniform, incongruously plaid, and a helmet with a sticker that read "Martians do it in the air". (Willow thought the outfit looked somewhat familiar, but couldn't put her finger on where she'd seen it before.) Pushed up on the top of her helmet were a pair of night goggles.



"Cheerleaders?" Xander asked hopefully, craning his head to look around Buffy. A group of them gathered on the front lawn, all dressed similarly to their leader, each one with night goggles in her hand or strapped to her helmet.



The leader, a tall young woman whose uniform combined several different shades of orange, spoke up in a deep but quiet voice. "Buffy, we've been following things in Sunnydale for the last few days, and we wanted to make sure your "before-your-birthday" party went off without an apocalypse. We're sorry we couldn't get here earlier, but..." Her eyes widened and she seemed to run out of words as she caught sight of Tara helping Willow into her wheelchair in the living room. A burst of excited whispers rose up behind her. She shook her head slightly, and continued. "Anyway, we weren't exactly sure when these two would make their move."



She moved aside, and several cheerleaders moved up from the middle of the crowd, holding onto Rack and Donny. Both the vampire and the warlock glared balefully, but were unable to speak or free themselves, due to the combination of leather straps, knee socks, thongs and assorted panties that tied down their limbs and covered their mouths.



Tara left Willow's side and wordlessly stepped up next to Buffy. She gazed at the demon that had been her brother, her eyes sad but her mouth set with anger and determination. She held a hand out to Buffy, palm up. Buffy looked at her for a moment, clearly debating with herself, then silently placed a stake in Tara's hand. Tara moved closer to Donny, locked eyes with him as he growled past his gag, and staked him with one swift movement. Her head bowed as the dust settled around her.



After a moment, she looked grimly at Rack, and said, "Buffy, bring Dawn out here." Dawn gulped, but allowed Buffy and Xander to help her out to the front steps, her eyes fixed on Tara. Tara smiled at her, and said soothingly, "It's okay, sweetie. Trust me. I'm just going to get back what he took from you." She placed one hand over Dawn's heart and the other on Rack's chest, and closed her eyes. Her hands began to glow as the energy flowed back into Dawn where it belonged. Rack's eyes opened wide and then he slumped down between his captors.



**************************



Several hours later, the party was still in full swing. The cheerleaders mingled happily with the Scoobies, although several of them had trouble producing intelligible speech when Willow or Tara tried to thank them personally. They did recover enough to entertain the gang with several cheers and gymnastics routines. During some particularly impressive stunts, Xander leaned over to Willow and commented, "It's a good thing Giles broke his glasses. I don't think he's noticed that they're not wearing panties." Buffy even allowed Dawn to learn a few tricks, but put her foot down when Dawn begged to try a basket toss. She sat on the porch swing, wondering if perhaps she might try celebrating her birthday next year.

Life is full of changes...The better you are at letting go of things, the freer your hands will be to catch something new. ~from Off The Map by Joan Ackerman
"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. ~from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette

[Wolflord]

Jomarch.....great update. I loved the presents...they were so right from the giver and the reasons behind them. I was holding my breath though when Rack came in....I thought he was going for my favorite redhead Keep it up. So how is your trip going. Hope you are having a great time.

Sometimes I think of them doing spells and I have a spell by myself.

[jomarch]

ok, like the title says, Pixie so rocks. See now I don't think Owl can post Ch 5. That was so funny and a great happy ending. You now have to stop calling yourself a non-writer (said in JEJ voice, which is the same voice that is hopefully making Canadian Kitty write as well )



*Drakkenfyre* - Thanks for all the good thoughts and sending the bagpipers to Owl! I have actually managed an average of 6 hours sleep which for me is great rest. And thanks again for recommending the fic, you rock!



*Jae* - Hi, just got your e-mail. Will download it onto my palm and read it on the flight back. Good luck with the performance.



*Wolflord* - Thanks for all the bouncy smileys. Yes, I am glad that my job will still be there. As for your idea, hmmm....There were a couple of funny incidents (well funny to me) on the holiday. Firstly, in Whitby (which is a small seaside town near Scarborough), there is a tiny museum and they have an exhibit called 'the hand of glory'. Its a desiccated black hand of unknown origin that they found!. I was standing there grinning like an idiot and pointing to my husband who eventually got the joke and we started giggling rather loudly and the curator had to ask us if anything was the matter. Then in Edinburgh, I kept making my husband take pictures of St Giles's cathedral.



*Bobos Mom* - I am still checking work e-mails as a few colleagues have my private e-mail address as well but I love it when I actually have time to check the board. I am only reading Ruth's and Sassette's stories currently as i need to still send our work stuff. But yes, Monday is only for a very liquid lunch. Have already picked out the restaurant in the city and it has a great wine list. Thanks for your advice



*Owl* - Thank you so much for posting. Will pledge undying love when I'm back at home! Hope you had a great time with your mom and the postcards are up to no. 6!



*4WiccanLuv* - I agree totally but I just wanted to write about the presents. Glad you like the fic so far.



*Tommo* - I still don't like writing the action stuff so thank you for saying its readable!. Touchstone is back...Yahhhhhhhhhh!



*LeatherQueen* - Thanks for the hugs and wishes and yes, there should be absolutely no birthdays for Buffy! As for Dawn, well, Pixie so rocks and has really outdone my Ch 5 .



*Thanatopsis* - I guess that's why Spike didn't show up in the update, he knew it was going to turn out badly .



*La* - Thank you so much. The vacation is brilliant so far. Have just got back to London this morning and spent the whole incredibly sunny day outdoors. Have twisted ankle slightly and big bruise on arm due to a very energetic game of touch football with some old university friends but am still mobile and have an expensive lunch to go to tomorrow.

The spoiler free island sounds really fun as usual and will see you there next week .



*Grimaldi* - Yes, a pact would be good! Any suggestions on horrible endings for Rack and Donny??



*Drakkenfyre* - So sorry about the cliffhanger. Sends hugs and kisses to alleviate cliffhangeritis.



*BigMac* - Yes, that I can definitely assure you!



*xita* - Thanks. Poor Buffy, all she can expect are an apocalypse every year and a bad birthday but at least that's consistent



*sheila wt* - I am always apprehensive about the action scenes so thank you so much.



*SquishyTrishy* -I am glad you're enjoying the story. I am not a fan of birthdays either but i really like present giving ( and receiving).And its really fun thinking of presents for the scoobies.



*Lucy Moore* - Well, Owl does have Ch 5 and she can post that. I do leave it to her discretion, I totally trust her!. And she accepts yoga, bagpiper music etc...



*Bobos Mom* - You sure know how to make a gal blush...Thank you so much.



*Lonewolf22* - Well, Donny and Rack will definitely get what's coming to them but unfortunately not that soon.



*daydreamer* - Welcome back. I think I will just finish this story and see how it goes but thanks for the compliment.



*Pixie* - How in god's name am I going to top that?????? If you don't stop calling yourself a non-writer, I may just fly out to Boston and convince you otherwise .

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

Edited by: jomarch at: 4/21/02 2:36:48 pm

[Owl]

Damn, Pixie!

That was... Geez! Oh, I am so not sorry for egging you on. * Insert sounds of me laughing maniacally here, then with sincere mirth* I must say, that leader's kinda a tacky dresser. heh. And Tara kicked ass! Yay!

But... Buffy's letting us teach Dawnie stuff? Not sure that's a good idea.... Martians do it in the air indeed! and you have no idea how much I like being called a nogoodnik... I'll be joining jomarch in the "convince the writer that she's a writer campaign." Writer.



Jomarch! Hi! *waves* More postcards? Wow. I'm so very lucky! Do I get one of St. Giles? and.... *gulp* undying love again? *swoon* *thud* I'm glad to hear that you're sleeping.



What's that? Next update? Soon my lovelies...

Oh, and Bobo's mom? *--------* [speechless]

Edited by: Owl at: 4/21/02 5:49:26 pm

[sheila wt]

Pixie, if you're not a damn good writer, I'm not a Willow & Tara fan.



From one of the speechless cheerleaders facing our lovely couple up close and personal...

Sheila

...................................................................


Willow: "If you felt lost and alone? Where would you go?"

Tara:"To you."

[mollyig]

Wow. The action was described really really well. Sometimes in fic its hard to visualise how exactly the scene plays out, but I had no problems with this last chapter.



I'm all agog now!

I could paint you in the dark, 'cause I've studied you with hunger as a work of art - Collecting you (Indigo Girls)

[WiccansIllusion]

ack..no..I have to stop going out of town!

'It's good to be a chicken casserole'-Sass, answering darkness

'My heart is cleverer then I and it knows what to do.'-MC Legends of the Kiss

[Grimaldi]

the only horrible deaths for Donny and Rack that I could come up with are either dropped slowly into a vat of acid, or having to listen to It's a Small World over and over until their heads explode

"Awww, Grasshopper, you're so screwed."



"Alright, let's just shoot the fucking sex"

[Drakkenfyre]

Okay, this is not allowed. Jomarch on page 2!!! No, I will have none of it. *bump* Need update, okay I am officially begging. Please help me, I need a fix... hello, my name is Drakkenfyre, I am addicted to fics by Jomarch..Oh dear God, stop me...wait, do I hear bagpipers? Owl are you there? I can hear Ed, Ed and Bloodwyna, "I'll take the high road and you take the..." I beg of you please stop me, I can't control my addiction...

"We few, we happy few."
"We band of buggered."

[BigMac]

I love the fake update that is so funny.Now I need my update fix.

Tara: Assume Crash
Positions

[jomarch]

*wolflord* - Hi Sweetie! my trip is brilliant. Have been hobbling about this week on account of a too rough touch football game on Sunday but have managed to get to work on Monday and see My fair Lady that night. Tuesday we saw Vagina Monologues but what was funnier was who we went with (which is a whole different story). Today was shopping and trying to teach my niece to skip for gym. Tomorrow, we have tickets for This is our Youth and I think I'm going to the Tate Modern if my husband doesn't throw a fit .



*Owl* - Sorry there's no St Giles but I will send you the digital photographs we took .



*sheila wt* - I think I want to be treasurer of the "Pixie is a writer club" .



*mollyig* - I got a wow, thank you for that. When I write, I try and picture it in my head as well.



*WiccansIllusion* - I think I have to stop going out of town as well. I need to finish this story.



*Grimaldi* - Hee hee hee. Yes to both but more to the second one. The 2 things that I have trouble with my mom about are firstly, she didn't like pets and would give away any pets my dad bought us as soon as we left for boarding school!. And secondly, the ONLY ride she would go on was Its a Small World. And she'd do it repeatedly as she thought it was cute. My sister and I have been scarred for life and have never got on the ride since we grew taller than her and could go on all the other rides. Wish I could work that into the story though (it's totally cruel and evil).



*Drakkenfyre* - Hello my dearest. Thanks for the bump. I think Owl says she'll post it tonight .



*BigMac* - It was totally hilarious. I wish my Ch 5 was that funny.....

-----------------------------


You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

[Pixie gishmock]

*bumpity bump* Owl, dearest, I hope that you'll be able to post ch.5 sometime soon, whenever you crawl our from under your huge pile of work, or paddle your canoe to shore, or whatever metaphor you're currently using.



BigMac - Thank you so much! I'm glad you found it funny.



Sheila wt - *looks around conspiratorily* honey, you really are a W/T fan, but I stand by my previously stated insecurity.



Jomarch - Wow! You want to start a club? *Pixie fans herself, overcome with emotion* Um, I don't think I'm ready for a club. I mean, we'd need a place to meet, and refreshments, and a mission statement, and stationary, and, dear Lord! *cleans glasses frantically* I'd have to write something!!! No way! I'm putting my foot down. See? Anyway, you know I couldn't let your holiday go by without contributing to the love and insanity! I'm so glad and flattered you liked it. And it sounds like your vacation is lovely.



Owl - yes, zisse maydeleh, you egged me on. Thanks for your sweet comments - I feel quite "biff"ed. Even somewhat "pow"ed. Elef n'shikot bishvileich.



Okay, bring on chapter 5!! Or else more love for jomarch!

Life is full of changes...The better you are at letting go of things, the freer your hands will be to catch something new. ~from Off The Map by Joan Ackerman
"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. ~from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette

[Wolflord]

HEY you tell them Brits to calm down on playing that football game....no hurting. You tell them if they hurt you...I will be calling on the Dark Magics...no matter what my girlfriend says. *grumbles about uncivilized Brits and their stupid football game...hurting innocent writers*

Well I hope you are having fun otherwise. Can't wait til you get back...have a fun and safe trip.





_____________ WOLFLORD _____________

Sometimes I think of them doing spells and I have a spell by myself.

[La]

Quote:

---

Grimaldi said this:

the only horrible deaths for Donny and Rack that I could come up with are either dropped slowly into a vat of acid, or having to listen to It's a Small World over and over until their heads explode

---

When I was 4, we lived in Boca Raton, Florida and my dad took me to Disney World over Halloween one year (he's all about finding the least busy time to go to touristy places). Anyway, the point of this tangent is that he made the mistake of taking me into the Haunted House. I then made him go through the It's a Small World ride 3 times. I wanted to go more times, but he refused to go anymore.

~La

You know you've been in Korea too long when you you’ve perfected your story about your big burly husband who is a U.S. Marine to tell to the skeezy cab drivers and other Korean men and can give details about any aspect of your life together, including who was at the wedding and the days it rained on your honeymoon.

[Owl]

Oh, poor, dear La....

You might have to go on that ride again after this... It's not a haunted house, but it isn't a carousel either. Also, there are no puppets singing and dancing in this update. None. *sigh*

So... jomarch returns in a mere couple of days, and in the meantime I present you with this. Prepare to get the heebie jeebies.







Spoiler Warning - It has some spoilers up to Normal Again and you may

want to read my previous story as it is set in the same universe. If

you don't want to, it's ok too. Just realize that Willow is in a

wheelchair and this would be set around two and a half years from start

of current US season.

Feedback - Good God! Yes, please.

Disclaimer - All characters, names etc belong to ME. I am just

borrowing them for this short while in order to make them do what I

want for a change instead of waiting to see what happens every Tuesday.

Rating - PG

Title : Left Of Center



Chapter 5



’Why do we always have to end up here?’ Buffy thought to herself as

she wrapped her arms around her middle. She was cold… So cold and so tired. Tired of this - of always worrying about a loved one, of always

coming to the hospital. What did God want from her? Why did she have

to…



"Buffy," Giles called out softly. He did not want to wake the others

up. Well, Xander and Anya anyway. Willow and Tara were not going to

sleep anytime soon. They looked shell-shocked. Tara had a mild

concussion and couldn’t fall asleep, and Willow…. ‘My God…’ He thought to

himself. They looked like they were carrying the weight of the world on their

shoulders.



"Buffy," he called out again. "The doctor said he would come and find us. Why don't you take a seat? There's.."



"..Nothing I can do," Buffy hissed. "Don't you think I know that? But

that's my sister in there, Giles! My little sister!" Her knuckles were

almost white as she clenched her fists and moved to a fighting stance. She wanted to hit

someone… Anyone… Anything.



So Giles did the one thing he could. He shouted at her. “…And she's my

daughter in all senses of the word, Buffy! …And so are you," he finished

softly as he grabbed her into a hug.



Buffy couldn’t cry anymore. Not because she didn’t have any tears

left, but because crying now meant giving up, and she wouldn’t give up.

After she had checked for a pulse, she had screamed for someone to call the ambulance. Tara was just coming to, and despite not

wanting to leave her side, Willow had complied. She could hear Willow giving the operator the address

in a tear-laden voice. The pitch of

Willow's voice sounded so familiar… It was then that it dawned on

Buffy that it sounded like her own voice - her words when she had called

for the ambulance for her mother. The picture Xander and Anya had

given her still lay by the side of the table. Dawn's and her mom's

smiling faces looked back at her - static dea…. ‘No. Not Dawn,’ her

mind echoed, it can't happen to Dawn as well!’



The ambulance ride was still fresh in her mind. Dawn looked so pale,

so small. Despite being taller than Buffy, she had looked so much

smaller, then - her little sister.



The emergency room was relatively quiet that night, and for that she was

relieved. It meant more hospital staff could work on her sister - her

little Dawn. As soon as they entered the doors, there was a flurry of

activity surrounding Dawn's gurney. A young intern began asking

questions, but Buffy couldn’t hear her. She just focused on Dawn's chest,

counting each rise and fall. Up and down - she would always add

another number in anticipation of Dawn's breath out. It was her way of

willing Dawn to breathe.



"Excuse me, Miss? Are you a relative? Are any of you relatives?" The

intern persisted.



Anya cut her off, "We're all family. Dawn - that's her on the gurney.

She got electrocuted by a faulty socket. She’s still breathing

but she's been bleeding from her nose." Xander squeezed her hand. She

could feel his support so she continued, "She also fell, so she may have

a concussion. Our other friend," she continued, indicating Tara who had come in

pushing Willow's chair, "she also fell in a hurry to get to Dawn. You

have to have someone look over her. She may have a concussion as well."



They had taken Dawn upstairs for tests and maybe surgery. She didn't

know. No-one had talked to them since they wheeled Dawn into the

elevator.



Willow looked at her best friend and saw the pain etched on her face.

She knew that she should say something, but what could she say? ‘ Hey, Buffy - Sorry that my ex-dark magic dealer decided to come after

us?’ ‘Sorry that I brought Dawn there in the first place?’ ‘Sorry… I let

him taste me so that he could see us all and how much she means to us?’

’Sorry that he knew she was the key.’ ‘Sorry that we taught her magic in

the first place.’ ‘Sorry that my soul mate's older brother got invited in

and pounded on you.’ ‘Sorry that I couldn't walk as much as run to save

Dawn.’ ‘Sorry…sorry….. sorry…sorry…..sorry…..sorry…..sorry.’



Willow……Willow, sweetie, it's okay to let it out. Please don't keep it

in. Tara sat up, immediately worried about Willow Sweetie, she sent

out again, Please answer me. It's going to be ok. The doctors are

working on Dawn. We have to be strong for Buffy and Dawn.



"But what if it's not? What if it's not okay?" Willow answered her in a

childlike voice. Tara had thought only she had heard it but as she

looked up, she saw Buffy looking at them as well.



Buff… No, that was the Slayer looking back at them. It wasn't a look of

blame. No... Buffy would never blame them. Tara recognized that look - It

was the look of the hunt and the kill. It was the look that Buffy had had

when she first came back. She was beginning to disassociate herself

again. To just go through the motions. To not feel, and not get hurt.



"Little Bit??" Spike's voice cut through to everyone, even waking Anya

and Xander.



"How's Dawn?" Spike asked insistently.



"H-h-how did you.." Buffy was about to ask when Spike cut her off



"Bloody hell, Slayer, I went to your place and smelled the blood… Her

blood. How's the nibblet?"



"The doctors have taken her up for tests. She hasn't regained

consciousness" Giles’ rusty voice answered.



"What the bloody hell happened? The house is in shambles. I had to

leave Clem there ‘cause the door was open, but I guess you were in a hurry,"

he finished and looked down at his hands. He was still carrying

Buffy's birthday gift. He had bought her a cell phone - or rather, he had

nicked two of them. He wanted to give one to her so that she could

call him when he was needed. He didn’t want to hang around outside

her house or the Magic Box. He had moved on. He was learning to

survive by his own rules.



"What happened?" he asked gently as he placed his hand on hers. But,

Buffy couldn't say, she didn’t want to articulate what had happened.

Maybe if she didn't say it, it would turn out differently. It could all be

a dream, a hallucination - like the mental hospital. This could be

another nightmare.



"It was Rack." Willow replied "My dark magic dealer. He came to the

house tonight with Donny"



"Donny?" Spike looked perplexed. He couldn't quite place the name, but

it sounded familiar.



"He was my brother, Spike" Tara continued "Now, he's a v-vampire. He

came to our house and I invited him in." She looked at Buffy as she said

that. She wanted the Slayer to look at her - to place some blame on

her. She deserved it. Donny was her brother. He knew them

through her, and he got invited in because of her.



"No." Buffy shook her head, instinctively knowing what Tara was

thinking. "We can't go through the blame game. Not again. I just want

to get them. I need to go after them." she looked at Giles and Spike,

willing them to agree with her - To support her.



"Donny was using a difficult spell, Buffy. That means he knows magic…

powerful magic - A vampire warlock. It's not unheard of, but I am at a

loss as to what we can do at this minute, or how you can fight him"

Giles answered her.



"We can go to Rack's lair, then," Buffy countered. "Spike can find it. He

has before. We can go, and I can ….I can…” She didn’t know how to

finish the sentence.



"I don't think he'll be there, Buffy. I think they planned this. They

knew we would all be at the house tonight - unguarded, celebrating. We

need to know more about them" Giles stressed.



"Well, isn't this where someone suggests research? All the big magic

books, and tomes and prophecies? There must be information about how to

deal with a vampire who knows magic and a dark magic dealer." Anya

looked around, knowing she was right, but not liking the fact that she

had to point it out to everyone. It meant they weren’t thinking

straight and that, she knew, could get people killed. People she

loved. She had to give directions… Had to do something…



"Excuse me, Miss Summers?" the doctor queried.



"Yes," Buffy answered immediately. "How is she? How is my sister?"



"She's still not waking up, but we feel that's because she's had a huge

shock to her system. She was hypotensive and her heart was in

bradycardia. Listen, I know we asked before, but are you sure your

sister was electrocuted? He symptoms are more akin to a drug

overdose. She's only seventeen. We can help her if we know what's

wrong. We need the truth" he looked around expectantly.



"She may have taken some methadone," Willow answered softly. "I don't

think she knew what would happen. I think she got it from school. She

asked me about it earlier today," Willow lied. "But I didn't…I didn't

realize she had it with her, or that she would try taking it."



"Ok, then." The doctor seemed more satisfied with the answer. “I think

we can help your sister better. You can see her in a few minutes if

you want. I'm going to work on her medication chart. Now, I'm not

going to ask how or why, but…. Well, your sister was lucky this time but

you should know better. Someone should have caught it sooner. Don't be that lax again," he looked at Willow.



How did you know? How did you know what to say? Tara asked.



I needed to know what I had done to myself. After I’d decided never to

go back, I went to read up on the high. Most of the magic books said

that dealers like that, they could provide a high similar to taking

heroin. Methadone is used to wean people off heroin. It should work

here. Willow didn’t want to think about what would happen if it didn't. She hoped she

had done the right thing.



The Scooby gang once again settled down and waited to see Dawn. At

least she was alive. For that they were grateful.

[mollyig]

Oh they're all so worried . . . like us!



I'm really glad Buffy was astute enough to realise that Tara would blame herself for Donny's arrival. And I'm even more glad that our girls have each other to lean on.



Can't wait until they go all pay-backy on Rack and Donny!!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls