CHAPTER TITLE: I’m Yours, Installment 1/?
AUTHOR: sapphocrazygirl
RATING: NC-17. “Are you sure? Now, this is not gonna be pretty. We’re talking violence, strong language, adult content…”
DISCLAIMER: “Oo! Oo! I know this one! Writing smut entails certain sacrifices, blah blah bitty blah, I’m so stuffy, give me a lawsuit!” I don’t own any of the characters, situations, WB, UPN, whateve, none of this is mine, blah blah blah. The first installment largely consists of the original dialogue from WAY, to give background for the smutty goodness to follow, so original credits to Joss, etc.
FEEDBACK: “Yes ma’am!”
DISTRIBUTION: I happen to be very protective of my copyright SO if you want to spread it around like cheap tawdry goods that is totally OK, just post here first and tell me, so I won’t have spasmic freakouts when I discover it somewhere else.
SPOILERS: Season 4, up until “Who Are You.”
SUMMARY: A litl extension of the “I’m yours” scene. And there's angst, and some eventual smut.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Smutty Twists is my revenge on the damn censors who smothered Tara and Willow’s relationship (I mean come on, Buffy and Riley get a whole ep of horizontal fun and W/T just get the Flaming O Spell? Which was of course damn sexy, but real sex would have been a heck of a lot sexier.) So, what you’ll find in S.T. is one of two things: 1) smut where there should have been smut, but instead there was Meaningful Talk, or 2) smut where there should have been smut, but instead there was Subtext or a Blank Screen. “I’m Yours” falls into the first category. Enjoy.
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“I wonder where she is.”
“Who, Faith?”
“Yeah. I wish she would make a move; she’s making my stomach all acidy.”
Tara looked up from her game of solitaire. It struck her as ironic that she was sitting three feet away from the woman she was growing to love, yet playing a game associated with isolation and imprisonment. She felt a catch in her throat as she looked at her red-headed friend, sprawled on her laced bedspread. “But you think Buffy can handle her.”
Willow sat up and crossed her legs underneath her in a motion so smooth that Tara had to hold back a moan. She flicked her eyes downward again, trying not to look at Willow.
“I think so,” answered Willow. “But that doesn’t mean Faith won’t hurt someone else.”
Tara looked at her, felt protective and possessive all at once. “Well, you should be safe. Nobody knows you’re here.” A thought struck Tara, and her eyes darted anxiously around the cards at her crossed feet. “I mean, they don’t even know I exist, right?”
Willow looked at her friend’s pained face. She watched as Tara tried to force a smile, and failed. Willow’s heart lurched. She’d never meant to hurt Tara by not introducing her to the Scoobies. It was just that, what was going on between them, and what was going on in Willow’s head - and more importantly in her heart - felt impossible to put to words. She couldn’t even explain it to herself, let alone to Tara, or to Buffy or Xander or Giles…
Tara continued, “I know all about them, but…”
As she trailed off, Willow reached her hand out and touched Tara’s knee. “Hey,” she said soothingly, trying simultaneously to comfort her friend and to keep her own emotions at bay. She wondered if Tara felt the electricity, the desire in their touch, or if it was all in Willow’s head. Time seemed to slow, and all Willow knew was how beautiful Tara looked, how good it felt to touch her, how much more she wanted to touch her.
Meanwhile, Tara had to hold herself back from running from the room, or reaching out for Willow. She gulped. “I-I mean th-that’s totally cool, I-I mean it-it’s good! It’s better.” She felt like an idiot, for saying that, for stuttering. Willow took her hand back, and Tara clenched her own hands together in her lap. She wanted so badly to touch Willow’s face, to stroke her hair, to hold her. She bit the inside of her lip.
Willow watched the pattern of emotions play across Tara’s face. She could hear the masked pain in the blonde’s voice, and she wished so badly to take it away. She was willing, in that moment, to do anything to ease even a tiny amount of Tara’s pain. “Tara, it’s not like I don’t want my friends to know you, it’s just…”
Tara smiled slightly, and Willow felt her mind wander away, to how soft Tara’s lips looked. She forced herself to stay on track, not allowing her face or voice to betray what was really going on inside. “… and there’s this whole bunch of us, a-and we sort of have this group thing that revolves around the slaying, and, and I really want you to meet them.”
Tara breathed slowly. She realized then how obviously she was staring at Willow, at Willow’s lips. She tried to look away, but couldn’t. She was totally entranced.
Willow’s body shifted. She struggled, feeling her tongue trip in her mouth. She didn’t know what to say to tell Tara how she felt, how much she felt. She stuttered on, “But, I-I just kinda like having something that’s just, y’know, mine?”
She didn’t notice the small smile that had run up the side of Tara’s mouth. Tara’s heart beat hard, and she felt tingles run down the lengths of her arms. How badly she wanted to be Willow’s, to belong to Willow. She tried to focus.
Willow tried to save herself. “And I, I usually don’t use so many words to say stuff that little, but, do you get it at all?”
Tara blinked, unsure of herself. “I do,” she murmured quickly, trying so hard to tear her eyes from Willow’s, and finding it impossible. Her lips parted slightly, but she could think of nothing else to say. She lost herself, and suddenly there was nothing around them, nothing in the room, no room at all but just Willow, and Tara knew in that instant that Willow was all she would ever need.
Willow gazed back at her. She felt a tingle in her heart, a melting, as if a gentle flame had touched her there and was dissolving everything into a puddle of goo, everything but Tara. thought Willow frantically.
“I should check in with Giles, get a situation update.” Willow nearly leapt off the bed and headed for the phone on Tara’s desk.
“I am you know.” The words were out of Tara’s mouth before she could call them back. She closed her eyes.
“What?” Willow turned back, her mind far away now, thinking of Faith and Buffy and Giles. She forced herself to stay there, forced herself not to notice the beautiful curve to Tara’s back, the gentle waves of her blonde hair.
Tara turned to Willow. “Yours,” she nearly whispered, her terror and hope mixing together in her deep blue eyes.
Willow stood there for a moment, smiled slightly, then smiled a little more. Her heart seemed to have turned completely over, and she couldn’t even keep track of the thoughts that whirled in her head.
Tara stared back at her. Willow wasn’t running. Willow didn’t even look disgusted, or confused. She looked kind, and warm, and – loving? Tara dared herself to think it, then mentally slapped herself.
Willow broke the gaze. She had to focus, had to not imagine things. Tara couldn’t have meant anything more than friendship, kinship forged through a love of magic. Willow picked up the cordless phone. “I’m gonna, um, take this in the other room, okay?”
She didn’t realize that Willow had come back into the room until she touched Tara’s shoulder and sat next to her on the bed. Tara looked up frantically, looked right into Willow’s green eyes, and inhaled quickly.
“Hey,” said Willow, keeping a hand on Tara’s shoulder. She felt herself fall into Tara’s eyes, into two swirling sapphire pools, and without knowing that she was, she closed her eyes, leaned in, and kissed Tara’s lips.
~~~To Be Continued...~~~
Yes? No? Come on, I can take it...feedback people!!
"No candles? Well, I brought you one. It's extra flamey."
- Willow to Tara, in New Moon Rising
right now. Off to the baths with me right now.
..love sammi xx
(was up until 3 reading “Torturing Touch,” a really great AU fic, go read it while waiting for my updates) i haven’t yet finished “Yours”. but, after i go have a shower, find some clean clothes for the day, i will be back to my computer to slave away. stay tuned...same bat time, same bat channel...it's funny if you're me.
and oh yes, let's throw in a
I want more....really soon...as soon as possible..
sweetie!!
from you