Fic - Living in Shadows

[oneinten]

Puff! Yay our girls are getting together! I like how you reversed the lines from NMR. That was so sweet!



kath

[FaithWL]

*waves*

Wow. This was great. So beautifully written. Loved the whole embrace thingy at the end:d



*-XxX-** Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[Puff]

Tigg

Smoochies? humm that would be telling wouldn't it And both of them are brave although there are a few more steps for Tara to take.



Scout

College bookstores on the first day are a place to avoid Thanks for reading I hope you like the next part.



Muttley

Tara's pretty brave really when you take everything into account. Even the Tara in the show was risking herself in Hush to come and try a spell that would save others. I hope you continue to read and enjoy the story



Marilda

Thank you. I agree they should always be together



Ghostwriter

Thanks, I am glad you liked it.



willntlover

Thank you very much. Thanks for taking the time to reply it's nice to know people are enjoying the story.



Mollyig

I'm glad you enjoy the story. It's nice to see that you are still reading it.



Drakkenfyre

Hee hee that would be telling *blush*



Thanatopsis

I'm glad Tara is taking a chance as well,now all she needs to do is actually tell Willow Hope you are still enjoying the story.



Oneinten

Glad you liked it, I really like using lines from the show in the fic



Part 16 will be later, I should say it has a dark theme



FaithWL

*waves* you replied whenI was doing this I am glad you are enjoyed it. I'll post the next part after maths today

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

Edited by: Puff  at: 8/6/02 8:15:13 am

[TareBearRS]

Yeee embraces are good to start off with..

I am so happy for them.



Can't wait to see how their talk will go, it will be hard for Tara but i'm sure Willow will reassure her.



Great updates!

R.

[Tulipp]

I always like to see these build-up touches...hand holding and embraces. That feels very Willow-and-Tara to me.

[Drakkenfyre]

Oh, c'mon Little Dragon, you have to let me know!! I taught you the bloody dance! I need to know if it worked!!

"In my world there are people in chains and we ride them like ponies."

[Puff]

TareBearRS

The talk is here, I hope you enjoy it although I am not sure enjoy is the suitable word



Tulipp

Thank you I always like it as well



Drakkenfyre

The dance worked



Without further ado I present part 16. Please read the ratings and the note.



Title: Living in Shadows

Author: Puff

Feedback: This is my first and only attempt at a long story so if it sucks sorry. Please send comments etc to puff614@hotmail.com

Summary: Dark Tara centric story. Willow does appear but I am warning you there will be some badness. This is AU as well. That stands for my reality.

Spoiler Warning: None at all.

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them. I'm not making any money off of them though.

Rating: R – G This part is a R I think for dark themes and general badness.

Notes: Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Drakkenfyre who has made it possible for me to update daily. And love as always to spuckie.

Special note: Steph please remember to breathe



Part 16



Somehow they made it back to Tara’s dorm room although she wasn’t quite sure how.



Now that they were sitting on the small bed facing each other and the magnitude of what Tara was about to do suddenly hit her full force. Her mouth felt dry and she could feel her hands begin to shake but this was it. Willow deserved to know.



Tugging at the sleeves to her shirt she tried to cover her nervousness, she saw Willow’s hand reach out for hers and they meet. ‘Ok so she’s holding me, nothing can go wrong if she’s holding me.’ Tara convinced herself as she took a deep breath and began.



“I’m not really sure how to say this Willow. I know I’ve had ages to think about it but I’m so worried that you’ll hate me when you know me,” She felt her hand squeezed tighter and gained a bit of confidence, “When my mother was alive I was sure my life was perfect. She made me so happy. She taught me all about magic and right and wrong. She showed me that there was darkness and light in the world. But then she got sick and things changed.” Willow’s thumb started to slowly stroke the back of Tara’s hand, “ I was with her when she died, she told me that I had to listen to my father and do whatever he told me. That he couldn’t hurt me if I did that. She made me promise. Then she died. My life turned upside down in that single moment. It was 3 years ago.”



Tara thought about what came next, ‘Oh Goddess I can’t do this.’ Suddenly she felt one of Willow’s hands let go of hers she watched it as it moved up and then she could feel it softly stroking her hair. It was as though Willow knew she needed more to get through this.



She sighed at the contact and then continued. “After my mothers funeral, my father took me up to my room. He told me that I was a d-demon,” Tara looked down focusing on their joined hands. The stroking of Willow’s thumb on the back of her hand never ceased. “He said that all of the Maclay women have demon inside of them and that my mother had taken mine. That the magic momma and me used had made the demons sick and that’s why she died. That I’d helped to kill her. Now the demon is back inside me and it will come out when I get to 20 and do terrible things. I’ll do terrible things. He said he knew how to control the demon that I had to be punished. Then he beat me.”



Four simple words to describe all the pain in her life. Tara felt her body start to shake, it always did when she thought of the punishments. “He used to hit me to control my demon. That’s what all the bruises you saw were from. That’s why I ran away from home. That’s why you can’t love me Willow.” She felt the thumb stop moving on the back of her hand and looked up. Tears were trailing down Willow’s face and her jaw was clenched in…it looked like anger.



Tara pulled back away from her but Willow gently reached for her hand again.



“You can’t tell me who to love Miss Maclay.” Willow said softly.



Tara watched her hand being brought to Willow’s lips and then she felt the soft kiss that brushed across her palm. Her eyes closed briefly and when they opened she saw Willow looking at her with a look that she now realised was full of love.



“But I’m a demon Willow,” She voiced her biggest fear “I’m evil.”



“I’ve helped Buffy research demons for years now Tara, not all demons are evil. And I’ve never heard of one that gets passed down through families. You’re not evil Tara. I don’t know why he told you that.”



Tara let the words sink in. Her mind raced over the meaning of Willow’s words, knowing that the redhead would never lie to her.



“But he…” She stopped not knowing what else to say. Her breath caught in her throat and she suddenly heard a moan that sounded almost primal come from her own lips before huge sobs took hold of her body.



She felt Willow’s arms go around her and herself being pulled close to the redhead’s body. She was being rocked and soothed. Willow hadn’t rejected her. Willow loved her.



Her own arms went around Willow pulling her close and holding on, never wanting to let go.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Muttley]

An important point in their relationship treated with tenderness and simplicity and beautiful for it. Thanks.



Jayne

[darkmagicwillow]

That part was beautiful. I really like how you're dealing with Tara's past.

--
"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

[Tulipp]

Nice, Puff. I appreciate how you are allowing things to remain complicated between Tara and Willow. Their growing love for each other is mixed with so many other emotions...very real.

[Slick Whiskas]

"Willow hadn’t rejected her. Willow loved her."



I absolutely loved those lines. Beautiful fic, Puff : )=



-Civet ( *

"...and the cat likes overhearing children's stories"- Amelie




Ne-yow! >^..^<

[Thanatopsis]

“You can’t tell me who to love Miss Maclay.” Willow said softly. This just brought a smile to my face. Another small important step in their relationship.

--------------------
Too many of us live desert lives. ~Charles de Lint

[Scout]

Yeah, both of those were killer lines and they made me smile, too. So beautiful! And we got a hand smoochie - a good first step.



Much thanks for the update!

[mollyig]

Wonderful how Willow listened to her without interrupting (which is a great accomplishment for our babbler), and then told her with conviction that she wasn't a demon.



Lovely.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[emma peel]

Puff, I only discovered your story this past weekend while I was staying up until the wee hours, waiting for xita and Rally to post from SDCC.

I dropped over here to Pens and found Living in Shadows.

Whoa! I really love this story. You are writing about the Willow and Tara that I know and love. It's such a sweet story, totally believable.

I look forward to the next update and I hope you continue to write fanfic.

Thanks again, Puff.

Janice

[FaithWL]

*waves*

Wow

I love this line too: "Willow hadn’t rejected her. Willow loved her."

That was so beautilful. Thanks for this update :)



*-XxX-* Stefanie



P.S As you now know i am wayy more talkative(?) in Yahell. :p

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[Marilda]

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

[TareBearRS]

This was a wonderful update.

Tara got her bad talk out of the way and Willow was there to help her through it. Just Great!!!!!!

R.

[Puff]

Here are the replies, part 17 will be along soon as well



Muttley

Thank you It is a very sensitive issue and I hope I treated it with the respect it deserves.



darkmagicwillow

Thank you I seem to be saying that a lot It's so nice to get feedback from people that are enjoying the story and i hope you like the last 2 parts.



Tulipp

Thanks Keeping it real even though it is AU is very important to me. Let's hope it stays that way for the last few parts.



Slick Whiskas

I love that line as well, rejection had played a huge part of Tara's life before Willow. So I felt it was important to show that Willow rightfrom the beginning was always there for her.



Thanatopsis

I'm glad I made you smile and this story is all about the little small steps



Scout

Oh another person I made smile, that is so cool You and smoochies eh? I think you'll like the next part



Mollyig

I think if Willow had interupted Tara would have stopped. It was important that she just say it. I'm glad you liked the update and thank you for the feedback



emma peel

Wow thank you I have always considered myself more of a reader than a writer. Although if the end of this story goes well I have a sequel in mind. I hope you enjoy the last 2 parts



FaithWL

*waves* hey Glad you are still enjoying it and I am posting the update early so you shouldn't have to bug me on yahoo for it.



Marilda

It's so nice to know that people are reading and enjoying the story so thank you for posting



TareBearRS

I have a feeling that Willow will always be there for Tara, it's the way it should be I'm glad you enjoyed the update and i hope you keep reading...only 2 parts left.



Ok well I'm just off to re-read part 17 and be sure I am happy with it and then I'll post early today. My horse banged his leg and I have to go and hose it down so I can't post at the usual time. Wouldn't be right to make you wait for this part either

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Puff]

Title: Living in Shadows

Author: Puff

Feedback: This is my first and only attempt at a long story so if it sucks sorry. Please send comments etc to puff614@hotmail.com

Summary: Dark Tara centric story. Willow does appear but I am warning you there will be some badness. This is AU as well. That stands for my reality.

Spoiler Warning: None at all.

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them. I'm not making any money off of them though.

Rating: R – G This part is a PG-13 I think.

Notes: Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Drakkenfyre who has made it possible for me to update daily. And love as always to spuckie.

Special Note: I so can't write kisses so I hope this doesn't suck people.



Part 17



Tara lay in Willow’s arms.



After her crying had died down she had been so exhausted that she had felt herself drift off into slumber. When she had woken up Willow was still holding her, they hadn’t talked even though there were things to say. They had just held each other watching the daylight fade in the tiny dorm room.



Tara turned watching the shadows playing across the wall she smiled.



“What is it my love?” Willow asked, her voice sounded happy and content.



“The shadows.” Tara said simply.



Willow looked confused but she loved Tara’s often-quirky sense of humor and was pleased to hear it asserting itself after everything that had been said today.



“Tara have I told you that I love you?” She asked.



Tara’s sighed and rolled over to look into Willow’s face. Her eyes full of love for the other girl, “I love you too Willow.” She said.



“Does this mean were dating?” Willow asked happily a huge grin covering her face and her tongue could just be glimpsed between her teeth.



“I always thought I was destined to live in shadows. But when you’re with me I feel bathed in light, like there isn’t any room for the darkness.” Tara said her voice was full of wonder at what Willow had already brought to her life.



Willow reached out and cupped Tara’s chin in her hands, slowly she drew their faces closer together making sure the whole time that they still had eye contact. When they were a breath away she whispered, “Nothing so incredibly beautiful belongs in the dark.” She said a few words that Tara couldn’t hear because her heart was pounding in her ears and then a tiny light appeared above them bathing their bodies in soft yellow light.



Tara smiled and moved her face closer to Willow’s. Her eyes closed and she gently pressed her lips against the redhead’s. A soft sigh escaped them at the perfection of this moment. She heard Willow moan against her and slowly opened her mouth, brushing her tongue against Willow’s top lip seeking entry into the redhead’s mouth. It was granted quickly and her tongue pushed into the inviting warmth it found there.



After a few more minutes she pulled back, her breath coming in short gasps. She felt Willow reach over and tangle her hands in her hair before pulling her closer again. The second kiss was slower than the first. Each girl just enjoying the sensations that flooded through their bodies until Tara couldn’t take the light contact any longer, pulling Willow tighter towards her. She moaned when the redhead responded by running her hands down her back causing more of their bodies to come into contact with each other.



The light above them got brighter filling the dorm room with its glow.



Willow pulled back suddenly, breaking the kiss. “I’m not hurting you am I?” She questioned nervously.



Tara shook her head “Nothing hurts when you’re with me.” She answered pulling the redhead towards her, claiming her mouth once again.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[FaithWL]

*waves*

dont like the bugging, now do we? :p

Sorry, wont do it anymore.

And wow, i loved this part, especially this line:

“I always thought I was destined to live in shadows. But when you’re with me I feel bathed in light, like there isn’t any room for the darkness.”

That was...wow.



*-XxX-* Stefanie



P.S: I promise i'll play nice in Yahell :p

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[Puff]

*Waves* you don't bug me I only posted early because Jack's leg looks like a ballon and I need to hose it later I am glad you liked the update though.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[FaithWL]

*waves*

Hehe, Give jack a biiiiiiiiiiig hug from me then :p



*-XxX-* Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[KittyKo]

oh wow, I'm really enjoying this.

So lovely... hmmmm. Nice work Puff =D

[jdcioffi]

Okay ... now here's the thing ... do I go on vacation or do I stay at home and read fan fic?



I just got back from vacation and sat down to get caught up -- lemme just say, this has been the sweetest story. I'm glad I caught up with it!



JD

"I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly!" (SpongeBob Squarepants)

[emma peel]

Awww, Puff.This is sooo sweet and romantic.Can't wait for the next update.

Janice

[Tiggrscorpio]

Oh, Puff, their first kiss was so beautiful. Tara's found her light. Very beautiful story, thanks!

*****

She's my everything!

[Drakkenfyre]

Hey Little Dragon, I do believe you have learned the dance quite well!! Good teacher am I!! Now, I will have to think of something else to teach you!

"In my world there are people in chains and we ride them like ponies."

[xita]

Just catching up and so glad Tara confessed to Willow before they became involved, or just as. That seemed important in this fic. And yay smoochies, please more!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Tara's eyes once again found Willow's in the rearview mirror. "Don't worry. I've got your back.
And Jimmy Gorka's loss is my gain."         - Willow grinned.

The Wisdom of War - Christopher Golden

[Scout]

“Nothing so incredibly beautiful belongs in the dark.”

“Nothing hurts when you’re with me.”



Wow Puff, you come up with some of the sweetest and most romantic lines. So much goodness! And thank you for the smoochie.